Realfoodology - 20: How To Strengthen Your Vagina and Have Better Orgasms with MaryEllen Reider

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

I speak with MaryEllen Reider of Yarlap, the award-winning Kegel Exercise Device. We talk about all things involving the pelvic floor, what the Yarlap does, how it can help you, what you can do about incontinence and painful sex and how to have better orgasms! Show Note/Links: https://yarlap.com/https://www.ewg.org/ https://www.cornucopia.org/https://drhyman.com/https://michaelpollan.com/ https://www.insider.com/5-benefits-of-pelvic-floor-exercise-better-sex-core-strength-2020-9 https://yarlap.com/overactive-bladder-in-women-what-causes-it-and-how-do-you-treat-it/ http://www.pelvicfloorfirst.org.au/pages/pelvic-floor-muscle-exercises-for-women.html https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/womens-health/what-are-pelvic-floor-exercises/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/womens-health/in-depth/kegel-exercises/art-20045283 Pelvic Floor Relaxation: https://www.bidmc.org/-/media/files/beth-israel-org/centers-and-departments/rehabilitation-services/relax_your_muscles_sheet_2016_05_rev.pdf https://www.nafc.org/bhealth-blog/how-to-relax-your-pelvic-floor https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/14459-pelvic-floor-dysfunction

On today's episode of the Real Foodology Podcast. So you feel the muscles moving, like it feels like a firm handshake. Some people say it feels like butterflies and some people are like, no, it just feels like a muscle movement. So everybody has a different sensation, but it's extremely comfortable and you feel the muscles physically moving inside of you. It doesn't vibrate. It doesn't make any noises.

It's not an adult toy. It literally just goes in and is like, hey, muscles. Hi doesn't make any noises. It's not an adult toy. It literally just goes in and is like, Hey muscles. Hi, welcome to the party. We're going to work out for like 20 minutes and then bye. Hi, welcome back to another episode of the real foodology podcast. I'm your host, Courtney Swan, and I'm so happy that you're here. I've been kind of on a roll lately talking about women's health, and this is another episode where we dive deep into that. I bring on a woman, Mary Ellen Ryder, who is the co-founder of this really cool device that I actually never knew existed. It's called the Yarlap, and it's a Kegel exercise device. And essentially it does all the work for you. And I'm going to let her explain it all. So you'll have to listen to the episode to hear more about it. But we talk all about female incontinence, painful sex, better orgasms, just all you want to know about the pelvic floor. Did you know that most cookware and appliances are made with forever chemicals? Yes, that means your nonstick pans, your air fryers, your waffle makers, your blender could possibly have PFAS. And yes, even our beloved crockpots and pressure cookers. I have

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is not had enough. I think it's safe to say that pretty much everyone has heard of the pelvic floor and vaguely knows about it and what it is, but I feel like the conversation kind of stops there. There's a lot of, I don't know if it's like shame or taboo. Um, but I kind of feel like a lot of people, we just aren't taught enough about this because we're scared to talk about it. And part of what my mission is, is to normalize conversations like this, because we all have those parts and it shouldn't be shameful. And we should be empowered to ask questions with our doc, ask our doctor questions or talk about this with our friends and get to the bottom of it, get the information so that then we have an action plan and we know what to do about it so that we can better our health. Because at the end of the day,

it's all about quality of life. And I really believe that we were not meant to suffer. Um, at least to the extent that we are in our health. And I believe that for the most part, there's usually a solution and we shouldn't be scared to ask questions and dive into different things that are going on with our body. So we go into that and this is a great episode. So I'm really excited for you guys to hear it with that. Let's get to a question. As always, these answers and this podcast are just for educational and informational purposes only. I am an integrative nutritionist, but I'm not a doctor. And I don't know you personally, I don't know what's going on in your body. So just know that this information on this podcast is not a sub for individual medical or mental health advice. And it doesn't constitute a provider patient relationship.

As always, talk to your doctor first. This is the part of the episode where I answer a question that was either sent in to me via email. Sometimes I get these questions from my Instagram DMs. Other times they are questions that a friend asked me in real life. And I give you my best honest answer that I can in regards to health. So as always, please send in your questions to realfoodologypodcast at gmail.com. Today's question comes from Alexa. She emailed this and she said, I'm a huge fan of the podcast. I am delving into the world of holistic health and I love having resources such as yourself and the guests that you have on the podcast to help me learn the importance of things that I probably wouldn't be able to work out on my own. My question is, do you have any resources for

beginners like myself where I can learn what ingredients are harmful in foods or home products? I follow a lot of people I trust who post products that they trust. So that is generally what I reach for, but I would love to be able to do my own research on products and know exactly why they are harmful or good for our bodies. Much love to you from Utah. Thank you so much for this question, Alexa. This is a great question. And I have a couple of resources for you. So my favorite place to go when I have questions like this is a website called Environmental Working Group or EWG. And I'm going to link everything I talk about. I will link, um, the links in the show notes so that you can go back and find these. Um, the reason why I love

EWG so much is they are such an amazing resource for all of this stuff. They really do their research and they have different things on their website that you can go and look up whatever it is that you're curious about. So for example, they have the dirty dozen, which if you're unfamiliar with that is an ongoing list of the 12 foods that you should absolutely buy organic. If you absolutely, if you can, and then they give you a list of the foods that are maybe they have less pesticides on them. But essentially the thinking is that these foods on this list, if they are on the dirty dozen, it means that either you just don't buy, like, if you can't afford to buy them organic, that's totally okay. But just do not buy them at all.

For example, grapes are usually on there. Um, raspberries, blueberries, because these fruits are already sprayed so heavily with pesticides and you can't just rinse off those pesticides. It's also in the soil. But at least with something like, let's say, an avocado or a banana, you have a skin that you peel off. So you're going to get less pesticide exposure as you would to something like grapes or berries where it's just on the fruit and you eat it as is. They also have a thing called Skin Deep where you can go on there and type in pretty much any beauty product and see, they give ratings based on how carcinogenic those ingredients are or how clean they are. So my, one of my favorite

things to do is when I get a new beauty product or before I buy it, honestly, I'll go to Skin Deep and plug it in and get all the information to see how um, how non-toxic or toxic it is because shockingly enough, a lot of our beauty products have carcinogenic ingredients in there. They also have something called a tap water database. You can go in and see how clean your tap water is. Um, they have a guide to help with water filters. They have a guide to sunscreens because believe it or not, a lot of the conventional sunscreens on the market actually have ingredients that are carcinogenic when they hit the sun. So they give, they have a great resource for all the safe, healthy sunscreens for us to use, um, a guide to food additives. They also have a guide to household cleaning products, which is similar to skin deep, where you can go and type in your laundry detergent

or your dish soap and see how toxic the ingredients are in there. And then they give you suggestions for cleaner stuff, which is really cool. So if you're looking to swap all that stuff out, um, they have, Oh, they have a thing called food scores where they rate over 80,000 different products. So much more. It is such an amazing resource. And like I said, the link will be in the show notes. So that's a great one. There's another company called the Cornucopia Institute, and they are a nonprofit consumer education and watchdog organization. They research brands and they investigate the industry to identify and elevate authentic organic foods and farmers. And they also hold the USDA National

Organic Program accountable for proper application of the organic law, which is really great. So they're another amazing resource. They also have scorecards where you can go there and look at, you can look up some of your favorite brands under these different scorecards. So they have one for organic dairy, organic eggs, organic poultry, yogurt, cereal, and you can go and check out this list and they rate them based on, um, their like ethical practices and how healthy they are. So it's great. I was actually just looking on there and I went into the, under the organic eggs and they have all these different farms on there. They have vital farms on there. So you can go and look what their rating is. It's a great resource. Another person who I just really enjoy following or a person that

I enjoy following is Dr. Mark Hyman. He is a practicing family physician and also a huge advocate in the field of functional medicine. He is such an amazing resource. If you go to his website, he has tons of YouTube videos, all sorts of resources. He has an amazing podcast that I highly recommend. So he's a great person just to watch and tune into because he's always talking about this kind of stuff. And then finally, one of my favorite people ever is Michael Pollan. He has written many books about our food industry and guides on how to kind of navigate eating in this crazy food world that we're in right now with the food industry and how it is. One of my favorite books that he's written is a book called In Defense of Food. And this was the

book that really started me. I was already on this health journey, but it's what really opened my eyes up to what's going on in our food industry and really got me in touch with all of that and just gave me a deeper understanding of the food industry and how we got to where we are today. And just, it really helped me navigate all that as I was learning everything. So that's a great book in defense of food. He also wrote another book called the omnivores omnivores dilemma that I really love as well. So again, the links will all be in the show notes. And with that, let's get to the episode. This is really exciting. Organifi now has kids stuff. They just released two kid products. One is called easy greens, and it's a refreshing green apple juice where kids will never know that it's packed with veggies. And the other one is called Protect. It's a delicious

wild berry punch like the Kool-Aid that we used to have as a kid, but without any sugar. This is really exciting. And if you've listened to the podcast for a while, you know that I'm a huge fan of Organifi and most specifically because every single product that they make is glyphosate residue free. So you know that you're going to be able to give these powders to your kids and know that they will be able to consume them safely without any glyphosate in it. So let's break down each one. The Easy Greens is a nourishing and delicious blend of superfoods and veggies that provides essential nutrients, probiotics, and digestive enzymes to bring balance to kids' growing bodies without fillers, additives, or junk. It helps to fill in nutritional gaps, aids in growth and development,

supports digestive health, has a rich micronutrient profile, and includes digestive enzymes. This would be a great way to sneak in greens for your little one without them actually knowing that it's healthy for them. And the second one, which is the wild berry punch similar to Kool-Aid, is called Protect, and it is to support your child's daily immune health with food-derived nutrients that work to strengthen their body's first line of defense. I know just through girlfriends of mine that have children that when your kids are going to school, going to daycare, they're coming home sick a lot more often just because they're getting exposed to different kids and different viruses when they're out in the world playing with kids. So this would be a great

way to help to support your little one's immune health. It's organic and it's also made with real whole food ingredients. It has a delicious berry taste and it's low sugar and it's gentle enough for kids to take every single day. And I really love the ingredients in this one. It's orange and acerol cherry, which is a powerful source of vitamin C and antioxidants, astragalus, elderberry, and propolis. These are all really great for overall immune health. If you want to try the products that i talked about today or any of the organifi products go to organifi.com slash real foodology and use code real foodology for 20 off again that's organifi it's o-r-g-a-n-i-f-i dot com slash real foodology do you want to hear the biggest discovery of our time for promoting healthy aging? Of course you do, because all of us are concerned about aging. There is a class of

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not feeling the effects of it, it also has a 100 day money back guarantee. If you want to resist aging at the cellular level, try qualia senolytic, go to neurohacker.com slash real foodology for up to a hundred dollars off and make sure to use codecom slash realfoodology for an extra 15% off your purchase. Thanks to Neurohacker for sponsoring today's episode. Well, let's just go into it. Thank you so much for coming on today. Thank you for having me. It's going to be so fun. I know. I'm really excited to have this conversation. So, um, when you emailed me, I was like, Oh man, I'm so excited to have you on because I being a woman, it's kind of embarrassing to admit this, but I don't really know much of anything about my pelvic floor. So,

um, let's, well, okay. Before we go into the pelvic floor, why don't you tell everyone your background, what you do? Great. So, um, my name is Mary Ellen reader and I am one of the co-founders of Yarla, which is a pelvic floor muscle stimulator device that is FDA cleared. And my other co-founder is my dad. So it's a father daughter situation. Yeah. And so we're going to have to go into that.

Everybody's always like, wait, how does that work? Um, so yeah, he and I do Yarlop together and I was doing internship work for women for women international. So I was really into women's wellness, women's rights, that kind of a situation. And my dad is a medical device engineer. So he has designed devices that are used in like the national healthcare systems in France and Great Britain, Scandinavia and Germany for postpartum help. So like kind of like what the Yarlap does, but there was nothing really available to women here in the US. And so we had this thing where it's like, I'm obsessed with talking about all things, women's wellness. We have this background that

we can bring something really, really great to women here. And why don't we just do that together and kick ass at the same time? Yeah, that's amazing. Okay. So that's how you ended up working with your dad. Because when you said that, I was like, I would never want to have a conversation about my pelvic floor with my dad. Also, sorry, if dad's listening. No, I think that that's how like most people are. Cause most people are like, isn't that weird to talk about like your pelvic floor. And then we talk about like, um, what the pelvic floor does in like the sexual world, intimacy, health in that situation. People are like mortified that I would ever talk about that kind of stuff with my dad. And I'm always telling

people like, I don't actively talk about that kind of stuff with my dad. Usually it's like business situation stuff that we're talking and discussing. And it's like pelvic floor health is just like an, a huge aspect of it. But like, I don't go into like in depth, the detail of anything with him when it comes to like my personal pelvic floor. But also when I was growing up, my dad was like, parts are parts. They have proper names and you should use them. So it was never like hoo-ha, pee-pee or anything like that. It was like, this is the vagina. This is a penis. This is a vulva, all these other things yes yes dad yes so when I was like going through school and people were like people were saying like you're coochie

or you're cookie or whatever and I was like what I don't even know what any of this means like do I nickname it myself do I have to adopt her nick like her nickname I don't know how this works because we were just brought up to think parts are parts they have proper names if something is wrong with it like if there's discomfort there's anything with that you talk to somebody about it like there is no shame no matter where on the body it is and I'm extremely grateful because I think it's not very common like my story is not very common. No, I want it to be, but I don't think that a lot of people have that luxury where like their dad was the one that they went to for their period.

Like I went to my dad when I got my period. So, um, yeah, so it's, it's great. I love it, but it's definitely different. Yeah. That's so cool. I just want to say kudos to your dad, because I feel like that, I mean, that is the way to do it, you know, and I think I'm pretty sure parents are now doing that, because I have friends that have kids now,

and they're kind of on that same track of being like, we don't want to create any shame, we want to make sure that they feel comfortable in their own bodies, and they're okay to come and talk to us about stuff. And I think that's so important. That's such an important part of parenting, I think, is creating, cultivating, yeah, cultivating that safe environment. And also not like, I don't want to say lying to kids, but not kind of like fluffing things and making them make up these names. And then, you know, they come to find out later when they grow up, they're like, okay, that was why, why was I calling my vagina a cookie? You know, know like why weren't we just like using the

proper terms because then it creates like you said shame around it and we don't want anyone to feel shame around their body I feel like it it perpetrates that like taboo where it's like you're not supposed to talk about it there is this like secret language that you're supposed to use and that's okay to use and that's okay to talk about, but you should not use like penis and vagina. And I'm like, no, no, there should be no shame or stigma or embarrassment ever. Yes. And it shouldn't be taboo to talk about this kind of stuff either. Exactly. I mean, everyone has these parts. Everyone has a penis or a vagina. Um, and we all use them. We like to have fun with them. So why do we make them out to be so taboo and like secret and hush, hush? Yeah, exactly. Let's talk about why should everyone care? Like, or why should women care

about the pelvic floor? Let's talk about it a little bit. Yeah. So I, I fell into the pelvic floor, not physically, like not literally, but, um, this is definitely not something that I wanted or I ever saw myself. I never saw myself doing this, like marketing, um, doing a company co-founding company on an area that is taboo stigmatized. And there is a lot of information that I feel like I didn't know until I co-founded the company that I feel like I should have known long before. So your pelvic floor muscles, everybody's got one. Everybody's got one. But we hear about it more often with women because we go through more things in life that can create pressure or trauma

or atrophy on our pelvic floor muscles. So your pelvic floor muscles, if you're a visual learner like me, you can think of it kind of like a hammock and they zigzag from your pubic bone to the base of your spine. And it's kind of like a foundation. It holds your bladder, your uterus, and those visceral organs into their natural position. So your hammock is holding all these things naturally. If you have weakening of those pelvic floor muscles through atrophy, you never used them, you went through like childbirth, pregnancy, or something like that, where they've weakened, it tends to, the hammock will sag and then everything that was on top of it will shift and your bladder tends to be at the very bottom

of that pyramid. And so when you laugh, sneeze, cough or something like that, it pushes on the bladder and you involuntarily pee yourself. And a lot of people believe that they're alone, that like this only affects them. It's just a part of aging. It's just a part of being a woman. It's just yada, yada, yada. Those are all myths. Like it has absolutely nothing to do with your age. It has nothing to do with anything besides the tone of your pelvic floor. And that can hit at any age. It doesn't matter who you are, what age you are, what size, it doesn't matter.

Tone of the pelvic floor varies. Okay. And so let's say that you have not had a kid yet, but you're dealing with like, what would you call like a weakened pelvic floor? What would probably, what would maybe be the cause of that? Like there are so many. So I feel like for women, it's just so much easier to say like, what doesn't cause weakening of the pelvic floor, but like repetitive motion. So like running, people who are athletic, who do a lot of working out, they tend to forget about the pelvic floor because one, we forget that it even exists. Or two, it's just really hard to isolate and work out those muscles. So repetitive motion, running, squats, anything like that can help weaken the pelvic floor just because it's repetitive pressure. Childbirth, pregnancy are big ones, which is why you see a lot of women who have had kids and then all of a sudden they're like, I pee myself. I guess this is just part of the motherhood club.

And it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Your pelvic floor went through something very intense. It just needs a little like tender love and care. And there can be, well, you always hear those stories, sorry, of women in exercise classes, like doing jump rope or something. And they like pee their pants. Exactly. Exactly. And there's a lot of people who will take themselves out of that situation. So like it will be so detrimental or like, it'll be such a big obstacle in their routine that they'll just take themselves out of that situation. So like, it will be so detrimental or like, it'll be such a big obstacle in their routine that they'll just take it out. And they'll be like, I'm no longer working in group settings. I'm no longer wearing anything besides black.

I'm not going to go and leave my house for more than like a few hours at a time. When I plan road trips, I have to plan out where every single bathroom is. And it's like, don't let that control your life. Talk to somebody like your doctor or whomever and regain that tone, find a tool. Maybe it might be Yarlap, maybe it's not, but find a tool that will help you regain that tone. So you're not basing your whole life around this issue. But yeah, for women and age is a common one because hormones or weight or whatever you have can be a factor within that. And I think that because women in our society were conditioned to believe that this is just the way things are, that we kind of tend to fall into that mindset when it comes to pelvic floor issues that like, this is just the way it is. This is the way we have to

live now. This is the new normal. I don't want to talk about it. It's a stigmatized topic. And I'm over here like in a corner with a megaphone, like, don't believe that. Stop it. It's horrible. Yeah. Well, cause then you add on top of that, the taboo of talking about it and then no one wants to even talk about it and ask their doctor, admit that it's happening to them. So I love that for anyone listening, um, that's dealing with this. It's, I don't know, should we say it's common, but there's something that you can do about it and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. Yeah.

It's, it's common. One in three women in the United States will have some form of urinary incontinence in their life, which is a mind blowing statistic. Um, because we all know. And the thing is, is like, you think about it and you're like, wait, hold on. I know somebody who knows somebody or everybody knows somebody who has this. And they're like, Oh, maybe that statistic is not so intense, but it really, really is when you think about it, that like it is treatable most of the time, but we don't want to talk about it or admit that we have that problem. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's talk about that. How is it treatable and

what are different things that people can do to strengthen it? Yeah. So usually I'm always telling everybody like, talk to your doctor, open up that conversation. But I know a lot of people don't have that luxury. And I know a lot of people don't want to do that. And I respect that. If you do have a weakened pelvic floor muscle and you have been told by a licensed health care professional to do a Kegel exercise, that's your route. A big thing is that most people tend to believe that a Kegel exercise is a one size fit all. So they think pelvic floor dysfunction, no matter what I will do a Kegel and it'll fix it. And that's not true. If you have a tightened pelvic floor, like a hypertoned pelvic floor where it's clenched all the time, clenching it with a pelvic floor exercise, like a Kegel is not going to be your best bet. You want to learn how to relax

those muscles. Okay. Let me stop you right there. So what I've never heard that. So some people, some women have it where they're clenching all the time. Yeah. It's just constantly clenched. It's constantly activated. And for some people that can be, that can lead to really painful sex. Okay. Some people just, is that from stress? Like why, or do we know what? There are so many reasons why, and I don't think that there is one true point as to why that muscle is consistently clenched. It can be a physical factor. It could be a mental situation. It really depends person to person, which is why I always tell everybody, like if you can, and if you have the ability to talk to your doctor, do so because it is unique

and it does vary person to person. So one size, a one exercise for everybody is not realistic. It's not true. So I just, everybody's like, well, I've been told to do Kegel exercises. Maybe this is what I should do. And if that's the case, the Yarlap is a phenomenal tool to have because engaging those muscles, like we were talking about, they're deep inside of you. And so really the one way to find it is to do an, it's called the Oxford test, kind of intimate and a little weird, but it's to stick a finger into your vagina and see if you can grasp and hold the finger. If you have that control to do so, you probably have some kind of control of those muscles. If you're unable to do so, it could be just atrophy. There's just that signals jumbled or lost and that's okay. It just takes a little bit more time to regain

that control. And you want to have a really good tool like the Yarlap to guide you into that because you're a little bit more lost and that's okay. That's fine. I think that people tend to get really intimidated by the fact that it is very, it's an intimate area. And so they are, they're afraid that there'll be told there's nothing they can do about it, that it's something really weird, that they'll be made a butt of the joke or something like that. But I really want everybody, regardless of what age you are, to know that it's not something to be embarrassed about. No one's going to look at you and be like, this is irreversible. You're screwed. That's not, no one's going to tell that to you because it's not true.

And so I just, I think that for some people that, that mental barrier of like actually admitting there's an issue is a really, really, really big hurdle, but don't be intimidated by it. Yeah. This is so important for people to hear because it's just empowering, um, anyone that's having this sort of issue to just speak up about it and investigate into, you know, why it's going on and how you can fix it. And it sounds like, okay, so there's a couple of different, I want to go back a little bit into people listening, what they can do. So obviously first go to your doctor, figure out if you have the clenching issue or if it's more of, would it just be like the muscles being weakened down there? Yeah. So you can just have like, you need to get tone. You need to either do pelvic floor relaxation exercises, or you need to do clenching exercises like a Kegel. Um, and it's really

difficult again to isolate those muscles. So a quick one, do not do this often because it is, you don't want to do it often a lot of people will be like oh i'm going to stop midstream if you can stop midstream you kind of engage those muscles a little bit but you don't want to do that constantly that is not hard to do yeah don't do it don't stop midstream um okay but a lot of places you'll see that written like to do that as a quick engagement don't do that that's not you can do that maybe once but don't to figure out and to see where those muscles are but I strongly strongly recommend do not do that frequently okay for your health so for your health, what about Yoni balls?

Remember when, um, Gwyneth Paltrow was selling, it was like this whole, the whole rage on the internet for a second there. She was selling this really expensive, um, ball essentially that you would put up your vagina that helps tone it. And I have, um, I have a very funny story of a girlfriend, um, wearing a couple of them when we went out one night dancing and was in the bathroom and won. They were metal balls and dropped one in the toilet and it made the loudest clink like everyone in the bathroom. It was like everyone went like dead silent was like, what the hell was that?

Is she OK? And she just left it there because she was like, there's no way in hell. I'm going to dig through this public toilet to get this out. So yeah, I would leave it too. Yes. Those are the thing is, is I'm a big proponent of any tool when it comes to toning your pelvic floor. I think getting what you need is really, really important. It is very important that you know that you engage your pelvic floor. So a lot of the time when you do have certain things like that, like the yoni balls, weighted balls, is if you're actually engaged in the pelvic floor or if you're using your butt, your abs or any other muscle group to actually keep those held inside of you. Because when you're doing a kegel, for instance, well over 50% of women who try to do them can't do them properly, even with written instruction. They're really hard to do. So it's easy to say in theory, it's harder to do in practice because we end up compensating

with other muscle groups. So for me at YAR Lab, it's really important that we know that you are sending a signal directly to the pelvic floor, the entire pelvic floor to do everything for you instead of going in and guessing and hoping that you're using the pelvic floor. Okay. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, that's a great point. So how, how does one figure out that they're using the pelvic floor? Really difficult. So yoga is really good at this. Okay. Yoga and Pilates are really, really great at discussing and engaging the pelvic floor muscles. They have a lot of exercises where you will be posed and you have to engage and pull up the pelvic floor. And that's basically an exercise in itself because you're engaged in the full entirety of the pelvic floor. So if you're wondering, I would strongly recommend doing yoga.

There is also this theory where if you're sitting up straight and you have a piece of string from the base of your pelvic floor all the way to the top of your head, and you can imagine you're pulling it up and try to engage some muscles as you're pulling a piece of string up. But again, these muscles are deeply isolated. You can't see them. So it's really hard for me to be like, well, this is how you properly do them because I, I'm not physically there to guide you.

And I can't physically show you what's happening internally. Yeah. I mean, and I have to admit, so I, you know, as a woman, I've heard most of my life, do your Kegel exercises, make sure you keep your pelvic floor strong. I've always been pretty intimidated by it because I mean, basically what you're saying right now is I kind of have always been like, I don't know, am I doing this right? This is kind of weird. Like feels kind of like, not weird, but like feels awkward in my body because I'm not really sure what I'm doing. Um, how, what would be your advice to someone like me? That's intimidated to like, even go down this path of trying to figure this out. Don't be intimidated and just try it because even if you try it,

you might hit something, right? It's better than to try than do nothing at all. And so for me, weakening starts, weakening could start in your twenties, um, because we just don't engage them. We don't know how to do that. And when we've been told we're like, well, we don't have that problem now. So I can just like kind of ignore that until I need to. Prevention is key and everything in life. Yes. And so, but it's hard to do an exercise when you're like, I don't even know what body part I'm supposed to be using. And so, but it's hard to do an exercise when you're like, I don't even know what body part I'm supposed to be using. And so I think that that's why a lot of tools like balls, yarrow lap, whatever else is out there is really important because they start you on a path.

They start you and they're trying to show you what to do, where those muscles are, and to build it into your routine. Because once you get it into a routine, it almost becomes second nature. And so I think those tools are really, really important. And they've only become popular, I would say, very, very recently. Before that, I think it was really hard to find any tool to really engage those muscles because it was, there was just nothing out there. Like you were basically told here's the pamphlet, have fun, good luck. And now there are like, yeah, now there's these, these tools that can go along with those pamphlets. But if for the, for people who have it and want to maintain it, I would strongly suggest looking up how to do those exercises properly

and try to do them on your own. And if you have absolutely no idea what you're doing or you're kind of getting frustrated, you can look at the Yarlap or look at whatever else is out there as well. Just be very careful because again, you're putting it into your vagina. So get something that you really trust. Um, yeah. Yeah. Well then let's talk about that a little bit. So what exactly is this device that you're, that you keep mentioning? Yeah. So the Yarlop is basically my baby. Um, it is an FDA cleared medical device to treat urinary incontinence and maintain tone of the pelvic floor muscles. Amazing. So what it does is it's basically the size of a tampon, a little bit thicker.

You insert it into the vagina. And what it does is it sends a very gentle signal into your muscles to do the exercises for you. Both there are exercises to tone it. There's also exercises to relax them and I think that that's really key because total pelvic floor control is the ability to not only clench on command but also to relax on command so the Yarlat teaches you to do both of those and I think that that's what we really are very unique in is that we bring both of those options to the table. And it's also nice because you can sit and

watch TV or lie down or whatever, and you don't have to think about it. It just does everything for you. Um, you just turn it on basically. It reminds me of that. Oh God. I don't even remember what they're called, but there was that like ab workout thing you could get. It would like do your ab workout for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the R lap. Everybody always says that they're like, Oh, it's kind of like the thing that does your, your workout for you. I'm like, yes, but in your vagina, you're like, and this thing actually works. Yes. And we're very proud about what we do. Cause like I said, it just takes all that guess workout of, am I doing it properly? Am I using the right muscles? Am I doing it the right work rest ratio? Because that's also really

important. You don't want to be clenched for like 20 minutes straight. You don't want to clench for as long as you possibly can. You want to, you want to clench for about anywhere between three to 10 seconds at a time. So it's like small pulses. Okay. And, um, I think that that's also another thing is people tend to think of a Kegel as just like a, a, a bench press kind of where you do like one massive one and then you're done where you can only handle a very few amount. It's actually small, quick pulses for like multiple minutes. Okay. I'd never heard that. Um, and as far as, so with this device, I'm sorry, is it Yarrow Lab? How do you say it? Yarrow Lab. Y-A-R-L-A-P.

Yarrow Lab. Okay. What does it feel like? Do you feel the like vibration? Okay. So you feel the muscles moving. Like it feels like a firm handshake. Some people say it feels like butterflies and some people are like, no, it just feels like a muscle movement. So everybody has a different sensation, but it's extremely comfortable. And you feel the muscles physically moving inside of you. It doesn't vibrate. It doesn't make any noises. It's not an adult toy. It literally just goes in and is like, Hey muscles. Hi, welcome to the party. We're going to work out for like 20 minutes and then bye. That's amazing. So you can use it in front of other people and they don't even know you're just chilling, watching TV and you're doing your vagina workout. We had a woman who actually used it on an airplane once. Oh my God. She was like, I have nothing else to do. So I'm just going to get it over with today.

I mean, that's genius. And used it. And then that was it. That's amazing. Okay. Wow. That's so cool. I didn't even know anything like this existed. So that's a great option for people. And I'm, I'm very intrigued in trying that for those listening that are just like, okay, I am brand new to this. I'm not ready to commit to a device yet. What are what are some things that maybe people can get started on now, or maybe where can they find good resources online to show them how to do the Kegel or the Kegels property? How, how do you say it? Kegels or Kegels? Kegels. So I actually got called out by the girl, by the woman, not girl, the woman who helped found the G spot. I was speaking to her and I was telling her about it and I was like, Oh, and kegels for you and she's like it's actually kegels I did not know that mortified I was so embarrassed I was like

this is my job and I just pronounced half of it wrong um to like this woman who is an icon and I can't believe I just did that so I it is forever burned in my memory as Kegels just from like that one, like two second frame in, in my past, like forever ingrained in my mind, but it's Kegels. Okay. I've been saying it wrong too. So I had been saying it wrong for like 20 odd years. So totally fine. Um, for people who are like, I'm just finding out about the pelvic floor. I want to learn more about it. We have a bunch of resources on our website that are really great that you can look at on our blog. WebMD actually has a lot of great things. Don't diagnose yourself. Do not self-diagnose. I am so not me too, but like, don't ever do that. Yeah. I'm a recovering WebMD, um,

like self-diagnose or do not do that. It's you go down a dark path. Exactly. So there's a lot of great information on that. The, um, NHS website over in the UK also has a great fountain of knowledge on it. And we'll put all this in the show notes too. So if you want to send me those links, cool. And also, um, in style did a magazine article a few years ago, we were in it, but it was, it was about urinary incontinence and what it does. And that was a really, really great piece. It's very informative. And women's Health Magazine also has quite a few articles based on this subject too. So yeah, the WebMD one has how

to do the exercises so you can see them properly and try to do them on your own and self-engage. That's also a really great starting point as well. Okay, great. Well, that's really, that's good. Great resources. So I have a question and I'm sure a lot of people have this question as well. I've heard that strengthening your pelvic floor can actually make sex better, improve your orgasms. Is this true? Yes. So we always talk about that. We always see like these exercises are like like do this one exercise to be fantastic in bed right like we've all seen it and we've all clicked on it and then we've tried to do the exercise for like 20 seconds and then we forget about it until like the next time we see a headline

and it actually is to tone your pelvic floor muscles so when you have an orgasm you know the contraction feeling that you have yeah that's actually your pelvic floor muscles. So when you have an orgasm, you know, the contraction feeling that you have, that's actually your pelvic floor muscle. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So, so when you have an orgasm, you're engaged in those pelvic floor muscles, you're doing an exercise. That's really great. You guys. Um, and so when you're doing a Kegel and you're learning to do them and you're gaining that muscle memory, your body kicks in to know how to do those muscle exercises, how to do those movements, how to do them bigger, better, and stronger, right? And your clitoris runs right along the pelvic floor muscles. Your clitoris is kind of like an iceberg. You see 20% of it in the gland and then there's like 80% that's hidden inside of you. So wild. I've heard that. Yeah. So your, your clitoris runs right

along that pelvic floor muscle. And when you are having sex, that's engaged, your pelvic floor muscle starts to contract and your clitoris is engaged and your muscle memory kicks in and goes, we know how to do this. We know how to do it bigger, better, faster, stronger, and have this like mind blowing orgasm because your muscle memory kicks in and remembers what to do and how to do it because of these exercises and your clitoris is running right along that. So everything in there is just being engaged all at once. Everything is happening all at once. Amazing. Okay. Well, so could there possibly be, if, um, if a woman's having a hard time orgasming, orgasming, could that possibly be a sign that maybe she needs to work on her pelvic floor muscles? Would that be connected

in that way? Okay. Yeah. You can look at it. I'm not saying like, that's, that's, that's the one key. That's it. No, no, but it could be a factor. And that's something again, doctor. And I know that that's incredibly taboo where you're like going to your doctor. I'm like, I'm not going to talk to my doctor about an orgasm, but do like, why wouldn't you? Or seek out a sex therapist. I know people that have done that. Sex therapists are awesome. Yes. So if you don't feel maybe comfortable talking about it with your doctor,

seek out a sex therapist. Yeah. Because they're very well-trained to talk about all of this and make you feel very comfortable about it. I mean, that's, that's the whole thing is if any, if people come away with this episode with one thing, it's that please do not be ashamed to talk about these kinds of things. This is your body. This is your life. You want to get the most out of life. Sex is fun. You don't want to be having to worry about peeing your pants or whatever, you know, like if you're dealing with incontinence, whatever it is that you're dealing with, just know that it's normal, but it's also fixable. Just, you know, and I want people to be empowered to talk about this and not be so ashamed because like we said earlier, you know, it's, it's become so taboo and it shouldn't be. Yeah. It's just a part in the end. It's just a part and it needs to have a little bit of love and it needs to be fixed if it needs to and there should be never guilt or shame or embarrassment because

who cares yeah who cares who cares in the end it's about your quality of life and yeah take control of that so i think that for women it's really really important to be like okay i know what these muscles now are. I know what they do. If I have like X, Y, and Z, maybe I should go and see a doctor, see if, see a sex therapist, see a physical therapist, see somebody, um, because it's not the carts that you were dealt. It's not just a new norm. It's not anything that you're like, well, suck it up. Sucks to suck. Yeah. It's not your fate as a woman to suffer. We talked about this on a recent podcast of mine.

And I think, um, more specifically with women and women's health, we're just taught that, oh yeah, that's just a part of being a woman. You know, it's just kind of your fate to suffer, like, sorry, you're meant to suffer through life in these areas. And it's actually not true. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I love that so much. So you brought up something earlier that I want to touch on a little bit, just because I know I've had girlfriends that have dealt with this. And so I'm sure that there are listeners listening that want to know more painful sex. So what is something if someone is experiencing that outside of like, they should, they absolutely should talk to their doctor about it, but maybe we can send them down a path of maybe

like some resources or can we just talk about a little bit how to kind of help them with that? Yeah. So there are, when you're told to do pelvic floor relaxation, again, that's like a really difficult thing to do because we can't see those muscles. We don't know what they're doing and again for visual learners a lot of um this again might be easier said than done but try is to think of a rosebud completely before bloom right up and then think of a relaxation try to think of your muscles as that rosebud and try to make that flower bloom and slowly relax your muscles as the flower blooms. Okay.

I love that. It's kind of different. It's the exact opposite of the Kegel exercise, right, where you're clenching up. We're trying to relax out. And there are a lot of really great resources. I'm happy to send them to you about that kind of a situation where it does deal with pelvic floor relaxation muscles. Again, it's just the same boat of easier said than done practices way harder than theory. And to get down that footpath, there are a lot of good resources and I'm happy to have a starting

point for anybody who's, who's like, I'm, that's me. That's my boat. Where do I start? Happy to send you some resources. So they have that point. Yes, I would love that. We'll provide that also in the show notes just so that, um, yeah, so people can start going down that path and figuring it out. Yeah. That's amazing. Um, trying to think, so I've gone over all of my questions. This has been so great. Is there anything else that we haven't covered yet that you want the listeners to know about? I don't think so. I think that we covered basically everything. Um, you took the words literally right out of my mouth where it was like, don't have any shame. Like for women, I definitely feel like in society, we are basically just told suck it up or like don't say anything and be quiet. And I think that's bullshit.

And I want to be part of like the people that tell everybody basically shove off and there are plenty of resources. Just it's a little daunting when you try to type it in on Google and find it yourself. So happy to send good resources that are credible and put them in your show notes. Yeah, I would love that. And I'm sure people listening will, will very much appreciate that as well. Well, this has been great. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. This is a Resonant Media production produced by Drake Peterson and mixed by Chris McCone.

The song is by Georgie. As always, please don't forget to rate and review the podcast. It really helps me in this show a lot. See you next week. This is a Resonant Media Production.