Realfoodology - Emotional Side of Weight Loss | Sophie Chiche

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

166: Join me and the remarkable Sophie Chiche as we explore her incredible weight loss journey of over 200 pounds, where she discovered the power of connecting with her emotions and facing them head-on. Listen in as Sophie shares how her emotional state and childhood stories significantly impacted her journey, leading to the creation of Shape House, a luxurious spa experience. Topics Discussed: 0:09:33 - Shape House and Weight Loss 0:16:20 - Emotional Aspects of Weight Loss 0:21:15 - Emotions and Food 0:23:31 - Childhood Conditioning Around Food Consumption 0:27:32 - Reevaluating Food Choices and Priorities 0:34:13 - The Challenges of Weight and Perception 0:37:39 - Managing Relationships With Food 0:44:33 - Changing Perspective on Food Quantity 0:50:51 - The Relationship Between Emotions and Nutrition Check Out Sophie: Podcast - Be. Play. Love. Website Sponsored By: Cured Nutrition www.curednutrition.com/realfoodology REALFOODOLOGY gets you 20% off Wildway https://wildwayoflife.com Code REALFOODOLOGY will give you 20% off your first order PALEOVALLEY for 15% off go to Paleovalley.com/Realfoodology BiOptimizers: Magnesium Breakthrough www.magbreakthrough.com/realfoodology Code REALFOODOLOGY gets you 10% off any order. Organifi www.organifi.com/realfoodology Code REALFOODOLOGY gets you 20% Off  Check Out Courtney: Courtney's Instagram: @realfoodology www.realfoodology.com My Immune Supplement by 2x4 Air Dr Air Purifier AquaTru Water Filter EWG Tap Water Database

On today's episode of The Real Foodology Podcast. I remember years ago seeing a psychologist in France. He invited me to write a journal where I would write what I'm actually eating and what I'm actually feeling at the same time. And I started to tracking that there was such a link between what I put in my mouth and what experience it gives me. But that's when I started to see that it was so connected to the emotional experience. Hi friends, welcome back to another episode of The Real Foodology Podcast. I am so excited you're here. I'm your host, Courtney Swan, and today's guest is Sophie Shish. This was an incredible podcast episode. This was one of those episodes where I just felt like we were just in

flow the whole time and we were really understanding each other. And it just made for such a beautiful conversation around a subject that is not always easy to talk about. We dive into Sophie's weight loss journey. She lost over 200 pounds and she realized on this journey that a lot of this weight was connected to her emotions and her emotional state and stories that she had told herself during childhood. She talks about the way that it affected her and ultimately how she was able to face those emotions, let herself feel them, and ultimately lost a ton of weight. And there's so much more to the story. I don't wanna tell her story for her. So I'm just gonna keep this intro real short.

We're gonna just dive right into the episode. I really love this one. I think you guys are gonna love it too. As always, if you could take a moment to rate and review the podcast, it would mean so, so much to me. It really helps the show. And I just wanna take a moment to say,

I really appreciate your support. And as always, if you enjoyed the episode and you want to talk about on Instagram, you want to post about it, you want to tag me at realfoodology. It means so much. And I see all of your tags. Thanks again, guys. Love you. How's your life been lately? It feels like mine is a never ending hustle, constant j of responsibilities, endless to-do lists. There's a lot on my plate right now. And it seems that it's impossible to live without overwhelmment nowadays. And I'm not even talking about how this stress

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Oh my God. Right before it became so impossible to be in the same room, let alone sweat with each other. Exactly. Yes. I have a... Thank you. Yeah. Well, thank you. One of my best girlfriends, Melanie, discovered Shape House and then started bringing all of her girlfriends and it became like a weekly thing that we would all go together and... Which one did you go to the santa monica store no so i'm in santa monica now but i was living in silver lake at the time and so we were going to pasadena or what was the other one we're going to

large font exactly my first one my first day yeah yeah yeah that's where we started out and then you opened pasadena and so we're going to pasadena a lot too so So. I love it. Well, thank you for coming and enjoying and receiving of it. It was such a vision to have a sense that I wanted something and to not know exactly what it was going to be and to just take a step and take a step and take a step and just keep being met with, you know, people's interests and people's, you know, telling their friends and organizing parties. And it was just such a beautiful manifestation of when something is in the right place, you know, it just keeps telling you what it wants, really. You know what, actually, I love that you just said that because I think that's such a great point and an amazing thing for people to hear.

Because I think so many people have these ideas for companies they want to start, but it feels so daunting and they don't know the first steps and how to even do it. This is not the direction I was planning on going, but let's dive a little bit into Shapehouse because I think it's really inspiring that you are one of the people that actually had an idea and you executed it and you made it happen and it's a really big deal. And I also want to honor you for being someone that did that. Thank you. Yeah. How'd you do it? How'd you get started? You know, it is actually weaving in the other conversation you and I want to have about the 200 pound weight loss of my journey.

Because I was going to this wedding in Paris and my family is slightly obsessed with the size of my butt. Like when I get there, have you lost? Have you gained? Where are we on the scale? As if, you know, that's kind of a national security question, which is not fun.

I mean, it's not fun. It is fun when this last trip, I just lost another 50 pounds and I was just there in July and it was just like, it is fun, you know, to have people be like, oh my God.

So, which I'm trying not to make too much out of it either because i want it to be you know my experience and not just because it it generates people are really interested in in weight and losing weight and have you lost and not you know so so i was going to this wedding and this particular side of my family is particularly obsessed with size and weight and i was just wanting to look good and then get good comments and not have people whisper as you pass by, oh, she's gained weight again. So at the time there was this, what was it called when you could buy coupons for things?

Like clipping or I don't know. Yes, like a spa booker or something that you could just buy you know yoga yeah well it was not groupon but it was like similar okay exactly at the time i don't think they exist anymore but i bought everything that under the sun like anything that said trimming losing toning you know all of it and i just was like you know what i have a month to get ready for this wedding chop chop let's get in there try to really you know feel good and one of the i'm talking 15 years ago um because shapehouse was born 13 years ago and so i'm on my way to this wedding getting ready for it and i discover in this can we say shithole in this this show but basically there's

like wall in the wall of a place, which was basically a suntan salon type of, you know, it smells horrible. But this woman had this little triangular little tent that you would lay super uncomfortably, really uncomfortably, you would lay there and it had this infrared heat and I hated going. And yet nothing made me feel better. Because when you're heavy, you know, I used to be very heavy. Moving is not an easy task.

Like it's not good for your bones. You know, you get out of the couch and you're, you know, that's a workout. So to find something where I can lay down was boring as heck because there was nothing, you know, to do for that hour. And yet I slept better. My skin felt wonderful.

I was less hungry. There was just all these really good things. So I went and I decided to create an experience that would be based on a similar type of technology, but would be very comfortable and very entertaining, as you know, because you went. So I created the bed. So you're laying down instead of just sitting uncomfortably in this thing and you're not in wood, you know,

which is, I don't know, saunas are wonderful, but who wants to sit for an hour, you know, multiple times? It hurts my back. It's horrible. Yeah, yeah. And so, yes, it was the laying down. It was the watching TV, might as well, two birds, one stone. Originally it was really for me.

Like I wanted to have, and I'm a psychologist by trade. And so I would have my office and in the back of the office, there was this extra room and I was like, let's get this thing going. And then one bed and then two beds and then my friend and the friend of the friend. And the next thing you know, there was like seven of us gathering to do the sweats together. And then I don't even know that I was the one, but one of us was like, yeah, this is a business. This is starting to be something. And I was like, this is a business. And I, you know, the rest is history. We opened one and two and there were 12, you know, at the

beginning of COVID, we had 13 stores. And then, you know, it was hard to keep up when the world shut down for so long, you know? I know. I know. I was actually wondering about that. And actually, just to give people context, because I have a lot of listeners that don't live in LA that may not know what Shape House is, I was going to explain, but why don't you just explain what it is, like officially? Yeah. Well, so the context was, you know, you come to a place where it's easy to fit in. You don't have to go to a spa for three hours because it's your birthday.

You know, you go for an hour, you watch a show, you lay down something, someone very sweet brings you a towel when it's hot. And at the end, you get this beautiful tea. And it was meant to be luxurious, but quick, not super expensive. But it was this infrared technology that allows you to sweat profusely when you'd lay there for an hour and it was a good hour you know an hour where your skin got better your sleep got better your eating habits got better just because you were more rested and more replenished and so we opened the first one in l.a in 2013 and the kardashians came god bless them they were so i'm telling you i mean whatever they they they were so helpful you know they put us in an episode the next thing you know there's 50 people outside I adore it. They were so, I'm telling you, I mean, whatever they, they, they were so helpful.

You know, they put us in an episode, the next thing, you know, there's 50 people outside the door just wanting to come in now to do one, you know, it was, it was beautiful. And then, especially, you know, 15 years ago, whatever they did, you know, people wanted to do. And so we opened another store and another store, and then we opened New York and 13 stores later and 320 people on staff later. There was a big, lots of plumbing problems, lots of staff. It's not an easy thing to do brick and mortar, especially when something like COVID occurs. So there was these little houses, it was called Shape House because this is a house, this thing that we all walk around is a house and the shape of it became important to me and it wasn't for many, many years. So now we can dive in the other conversation we want to have,

maybe. Yes. And just for listeners, so if you guys have ever seen me post about Higher Dose has this sauna blanket and that's what you would lay. You would lay basically on like a massage table in this sauna blanket. My friend and I used to joke, we would call it the sweat burrito. Cause we're like, you get wrapped up in a burrito and then you sweat for like 45 minutes and we'd catch up on our TV shows. Then we'd go and sit in another room and debrief and drink tea. And you know, it was kind of like a little bit of like a socializing thing for us too, but towards the end, but yeah, so amazing. Thank you so much for creating that. It was a great creation. And so I want to dive more into your story because I feel like maybe I'm wrong, but this is my interpretation that these days, not that many people are openly like vocally talking about

their weight loss journeys. Cause I almost feel like no one wants to talk about that anymore because we have this interesting thing happening right now, for example, with like the body positivity movement, which I think is an amazing thing. And I think that it started out with really great intention, which is we want every woman, we want every person to feel amazing in their body, no matter where they're at. I do think that it got to a point where it's like, okay, we still need to be encouraging people to be healthy at the end of the day. And that's where it took a bit of a turn for me, which is concerning.

And then I also think it turned into now, at least for me, what I've seen online, it almost feels like people aren't like allowed to talk about losing weight because then now people are getting attacked for losing weight instead of just being like, love your body with where it's at. My thought process is that we can love our bodies no

matter what part of the journey we're in while also striving for health because ultimately at the end of the day, health, it should be everyone's end goal and, and health looks different on different bodies for different people. And I think that's really important part of the conversation. So let's talk about your journey and losing, didn't you say at one point it was 300 pounds or is it 200 pounds that you lost? Well, I was 340 pounds and I'm now 142. So at the end of the day, it's a 200. Yeah. It's a full two people and a half, two people. Yeah. It was a large amount. I'm always interested in talking about the going down, but I'm also really interested in the going up. Like why does one need or feel the need to build a castle?

You know, like I did, there was a lot of, I mean, I have zero, we can go anywhere in this conversation. You want to go, I have no shame. I have no guilt. I have no, none of it. Let's talk about that because I think this is a really important part of the conversation that's not really being had because obviously we know that weight is dictated by lifestyle choices, meaning, you know, exercise and diet. But I do believe there's a massive emotional component here involved. And you just said something that I think is really important for us to dive into is like building this, it's almost like you're building this protection around you. Can you talk about your experience with that? Yeah. yeah yeah so i grew up in an environment where being

thin was not safe there was predatorial energy my father's boundaries were not clear um and so there was a lot of jokes and touch and kiss and lips and grab my breasts you know there was never it was never over the line although one would, it was never over the line, although one would argue that it is over the line, but not with the definition of, you know, true violence that way, you know. But there was a lot of jokes about being his girlfriend, you know, when I was his daughter all along.

And so there was a lot of that. And so I think being large, when you're large, you look like male female you know it kind of it it erases a little bit of the um the sensual energy like there's no waste you know it's like if you look at two people that are really big a man and a woman from behind it looks or even from the front it looks um alike a little bit and so i think putting this like large amount and I can really, I don't even think that the way I speak of all that is the same as someone who has to lose like

three pounds and they're obsessed about this. I think when you are over 300 pounds, it is not healthy. And I love body positivity and I love people to love themselves. Forget weight, not weight, color, not just love yourself wherever you are. But in my particular case, and I am not making a general that everyone is the same, but in my particular case, it was a destructive mechanism. I was hurting myself. I was eating foods that were not good for my system. I was not sleeping well. I was allergic to sugar, no doubt about it. My skin would get really, really red and itchy when I would eat sugar. And so for me, there was nothing about what I was doing with my food that was healthy. I was hiding a lot.

I was eating Nutella at night, jars of it in almost my sleep. There were lots of nights where I would end up in the refrigerator, just really overeating, not even realizing in the morning that I had done it. There was nothing about this that was conscious. There was nothing about it that was an act of love. So I don't put myself in the same bucket as everyone. I'm sure there's very loving people that do behaviors that are working for them, you know, but to me, it was very destructive and it was very punishing and it was very,

I kind of didn't deserve to be happy, you know, in my understanding of the world. There was a lot of energy when I was growing up where my mother used to be a model. There was a lot of, don't disturb that. She started aging. If I'm too thin and I look too good, complicated. There was a lot of components where being fat was simpler for me, as destructive as it was. And for a long time, it was true. And then it became not true, but I didn't know

what to do with it. Because there is obviously a component of what do you actually eat. I don't think you get to 340 pounds by eating too much salad. There was definitely a lot of ingesting, very high caloric, and the stress. The stress with which I ate all these years, your body cannot digest when you're that stressed, when you're that tight and unconscious. That's the other thing. And that's a good one. If we can discuss this one for a second, the guilt of our culture around being fat is such that if you're a large person in my case i was really fat and you ask for pasta and dessert at the restaurant the way people look at you you don't want to be feeling what that feels like like i would go unconscious to not feel this guilt that that've perceived, you know,

from other people and from myself. I'm sure there was, you know, the internal feelings weren't that kind towards myself as well. But this dynamic where you feel guilty, so you go unconscious, so you eat more. You know, it's like these bags of popcorns that go down just because you're like, you know, eating it like you're not there. go down just because you're like you know eating it like you're not there so you're not feeding yourself you're not feeding anything you're just crunching you know that's like an autopilot it's an autopilot and i remember years ago seeing a psychologist in france was so interesting he invited me to write a journal where i would write what i'm actually eating and what i'm actually feeling at the same time. And we started tracking things like, oh, wow, when I'm really sad and I feel

lonely, I only want Nutella, sugar, sweet, gooey, jams, whatever. And when I'm angry and I feel pissed at the world, it's like, all I want to do is like crunch and chips and, you know, and it started, I started to tracking that there was such a link between what I put in my mouth and what experience it gives me. But that's when I started to see that it was so connected to the emotional, you know, experience. Like, I don't know where you were born or raised, but in my household, you don't feel feelings. You're sad, shut up. You're, you know, lonely, deal with it. You're angry, certainly put that down, you don't feel feelings. You're sad, shut up. You're lonely, deal with it.

You're angry, certainly put that down. So I grew up with this, it's all good, but not always good. And so eating, it does, it gives you a momentary illusion that things are easier. I think I don't have those anymore, but I remember having these like heightened, I don't know what to do with myself. Ooh, pizza. Oh, that helped. You know, not really, but. But in the moment, and this is, I think this is such an important component of this conversation that's not had enough that I don't think people are being taught to connect with their feelings when they're feeling them and be really honest with themselves

about how they're feeling them, how they're feeling, why they're feeling. And instead of just zoning out and doing whatever they can to not feel that feeling anymore, we're not taught sometimes to just sit in that feeling or to like go for a walk. We're just taught to numb it out with either alcohol

or some people go to drugs. And I would argue that going to food is a form of a drug because sugar especially, there's no doubt about it, the effects on the brain. And we're not having these conversations with people about, you know, asking them, how are you feeling? Like, why are you wanting to reach for this food? Why are you eating to the point where you feel sick? I would even argue that not only are we not invited to feel, but we are convinced that our feelings are wrong. I don't, again, I don't know your childhood, but in my house, there was a lot of, you know, put a sweater on, but I'm not cold, but put a sweater anyway, or it's noon, we eat now or finish your plate. I'm not hungry anymore. You know, my household was very,

my family was survivors. You know, there was a good amount of energy of, you know, around don't waste your food. I don't know here. I think you talk about the Chinese kids in France. We talked about the African kids, you know, that can't eat. So I don't know how my eating this food was affecting this kid in Africa whatsoever. I remember sitting there, I mean, I was already pretty smart at like five or six years old. I mean, like, how is my finishing my plate going to help this kid over there? Like, I don't have it. But I don't like waste, but I also, it's wasting if I'm eating it and I don't need it. That's also a waste. It's a different kind of waste, but it's a waste that hurts me if I eat it anyway, right?

Well, and you know what's interesting about that is that at a very young age, then we teach kids not to check in with themselves about how full they are. We teach them, okay, no matter what, you have to clean your plate because there's other people in other countries that you're never going to meet, that they're never going to get your food, are starving. I know my parents used to give that to me too. And I was like, yes, it makes no sense. But yet we don't, you know, when we little, we don't know better. It's like these grown people things that are in charge of us. That seems like if they're not there, they're not going to feed me at all. So might as well cooperate, you know, but we are yanked out of our feelings all the time. I remember there was a moment where I have a daughter, an adult now,

but when she was little, we were at my parents' house and we went skiing and she fell. And all I can hear after that is, do you want Nutella? Do you want a crepe? Do you want sugar? Do you want an ice cream? Do you want... And I'm all like, she's just hurt. She just banged her lip. We just need to sit and put a little ice and chill. But my mother could not stop the obsession of not having this child cry there because she couldn't, you know, she, her own inner child probably wasn't allowed to cry either. That's the thing. It's a generational, it's nobody's fault. You know, it's just that somehow we're taught to ignore. And as you said, you know, stuff it away our feelings, but because they don't know how to do it either.

And so, but I remember sitting there going like, oh, that's what happened to me. I would be sad and someone would stuff a crepe down my throat. Okay, you know. Isn't that so funny? Because my parents, I mean, I think our entire generation did that. My parents did the same thing.

And I hope to one day when I have kids, actually sit them down and talk them through, or at the very least, just let them have their emotions. Because that was the other thing is, anytime I'd get mad, my dad would shut that down. We're not allowed to be angry. Anytime I'd cry, I'd be like, stop crying. And it's so funny. I've actually had the privilege of bringing my parents into therapy. And that was one of the things that I realized in a therapy session with my dad is that he physically and emotionally can't handle the emotions for me. Like when I'm sad, he would tell me to stop crying because he could not handle it himself. Exactly. Isn't that so interesting? And so then we give kids food to shut them up. And now it's even worse. I mean, at least back in the day, it was like, you know, eat an apple or

whatever. But now it's like, oh, have this candy, have this ice cream, have this processed pizza. Oh, you sit for dinner and you sit for lunch. It's an activity to eat. Here, it's like a nuisance that we've got to do in between things almost, right? And so eating slower, it takes about 20 minutes for the brain to feel satiation. When you're hungry, it takes about 20, no matter what you eat in there, it takes about 20 to 25 minutes. So if you eat very fast, you just eat a lot more. I eat super slow. I've become a joke. I'm like the last one at the table, no matter what. I'm literally eating my little bites gently and sweetly. Eating is every bite, it's an act of love or not. Every bite I choose to, like when I'm in a restaurant, I could choose the whatever, the fries, the pasta, the whatever, but I don't want to feel like I feel when I eat that afterwards. And so now it's become more of a, is this food fueling me?

Is this going to give me energy? Is this going to make me feel sleepy? I have a big life to live. I don't have time to be sleepy because I eat too much pasta. It's an equation that no longer interests me. I used to really love granola until I started turning around the back of the package and looking at how much sugar was in it and also learning about how oats were affecting my digestive system, my guts. So I was really stoked when I found this brand, Wildway.

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that nourishes our bodies. You know, I get asked often, how can we as people make an impact on our food industry? And one of the ways that we can do that is by supporting companies and brands that are actually doing right by the people. And this is one of those brands. So if you guys want to check them out, go to wildwayoflife.com and use code realfoodology and you're going to get 20% off. Again, that's wildwayoflife.com, code realfoodology. Do you struggle with anxiety like I do? I have been pretty open about my journey and my struggles with anxiety throughout the years.

And therapy is one of the things that has really helped me out a lot. EMDR therapy specifically has helped me through a lot of my traumas that I went through. But another thing that has really helped me throughout the years with my anxiety journey, if you will, is CBD. I really like Cured Nutrition's CBD. I love that you can go to their website and you can actually see their third-party testing that they do from their lab. So you can actually go to the website, see how much CBD is in all of their products, and they update it all the time. You can hear more about this in depth in my episode that I had with the founder of Cured Nutrition. And my favorite ones, I would say, I really like the CBN night caps. And then I also like the Zen CBD caps as well. They also have a

calm oil, which is really great and a topical. So if you're dealing with any sort of injuries or maybe muscle soreness, they have a topical that you can put on. They also came out more recently with some Serenity gummies, which is like low THC relaxation gummies, which are really great. And if you follow me on Instagram, you know that my dog Turkey loves their CBD dog treats. He like freaks out every single time I open the pantry, he follows me in, he immediately goes for the bag and he starts begging for them. And they're great. They're really high quality ingredients, all organic, have really high quality CBD. My boyfriend just got a golden

retriever puppy more recently, and we have been giving the dog treats to both of our dogs when we go for road trips and it's been really helpful. And the dogs love them. They taste really great. So if you want to try any of the products that I talked about today or anything on the Cured Nutrition website, make sure that you go to curednutrition.com slash realfoodology. That's C-U-R-E-D nutrition.com slash realfoodology. And you can also use code realfoodology and it's going to save you 20%. It is a journey. And I tell people this all the time that taking care of yourself and nourishing your body with healthy foods is one of the biggest acts of self-care that we could do for ourselves. And what you just said is making note of the foods that don't make us feel good. I mean,

it's so funny. I will get these comments from people all the time on Instagram and they're like, don't you ever just like cheat and like go through McDonald's drive-thru or whatever. And to me, like I equate going through the McDonald's drive-thru as feeling like shit for two days after. And I don't want to feel that way. Like the few moments of satisfaction that I get from eating that food are not worth the days that I feel like crap afterwards. And that's just the way I equate it now. And it doesn't mean I never eat burgers. No, but I eat really good, high quality grass fed burgers with homemade French fries that don't have all the additives in them. Because it's not that hamburgers and French fries are inherently bad for you.

It's what we have done to them that has become bad for us. One of my favorite one along those lines is on my birthday. And then people will be like, oh, come on, have a little cake. It's your birthday. And I'll say, I don't do a little bit of heroin on my birthday. To me, it's not a reward. I really look at sugar as it's a thing that's like poison. It destroys my body and i i don't that's the one i have i don't want to be destroying that thing that's going to be carrying me around for another you know if everything goes well another few years you know so i don't i don't i don't participate in and even with the kids you know clean your room so you can have dessert

why are you making dessert a reward? Why are you making this kid think that if he does this thing he doesn't want to do, he's going to get this thing that supposedly makes his life better? All of it is there's so many things that are wrong with these particular dynamics. I agree. Okay. So I'm really curious about this because you said something earlier, which I found really interesting, which you said for a long time, you found it easier to be fat. But I want to dive into that a little bit because I wonder, was it, because especially hearing the way that your mom, her viewpoint on weight and having her over your shoulder all the time. And then not to mention, we look at France and how France in general, especially I'm assuming when you grew up, really didn't have very many overweight people.

Because I know when you compare France now even to the US, it's very, very different. So was it actually easier to be fat? Or like, what was your experience and all that? And what was your mind frame around that protection, I guess? Thank you for asking that. It's a really beautiful, kind of took me back in a session I had with one of the doctors I worked with when I was unraveling, you know, because it was, like I said, we said it's a journey, you know, I didn't go from super unhealthy with all this to super healthy overnight. You know, it was definitely lots of steps, lots of understandings and moments that were, oh, wow, like now I know something I can no longer not know, you know? But one of them was definitely around this experience. Like this guy said to me,

what is the payoff? Like what benefit are you getting from being so overweight? And I was so offended. I literally walked away and I was like, I will never come back here. There's no payoff. There's no benefits for me. And he smiled very kindly. And he said, if there was no benefit, you wouldn't be doing it. So let's digest that one and come back next week. And the whole week I'm like stomping around and I'm like hating that he asked me that question. And I'm just like, there's no benefit. Well, there was so many. When I allowed myself to unlock, one of them for me was, it makes people less like, you know, the fat person is the clown.

It's not threatening. Like my girlfriends, when I started losing a lot of weight, there was a lot of jealousies. There was a lot of stuff to deal with. And when before I could go away with their husbands and go on a camping trip and heck, sleep in their tent, they were like, no issue.

Like what's going to happen? And now, or later at that time, it was just like, it became a force to be dealt with that I didn't have to deal with before. Again, my particular story, not everyone, in my particular story, being overweight was a way to extract myself out of life. And God knows I had a great, for someone who was that overweight, I dated fabulous people. I had incredibly cool stories. I was invited to super cool things. Like, it's not like my life was put on hold because I was heavy, but there was this thing that would occupy me at all times. Like literally we would be having this conversation. I would love being with you. It'd be a great conversation. The entire time in the back of my head, they'd be like,

when are we done with this? So I can go have my pizza. When are we done with this? So I can go down my ice cream. I don't know if it's a conspiracy that was done onto women that we became so obsessed with all this. Like what would women be doing? I had an interview with this woman and she was like, if I wasn't thinking about my weight and my image and my body and what I eat and as much as I do, I would have cured cancer. She was a doctor. I would have done something so gigantic because there is a lot of room that's occupied. That was one of the biggest awareness for me. When I went from, where am I eating? Who am I eating with? Am I going to be able to eat the kind of food I want to eat when I'm with this person? Or should I have two meals prepared so I can show this one that I'm

eating my little salad when with this one I can eat my pasta? I mean, the work, so much management with all this. And then at the end of the day now that I eat like I eat, it's a simple thing. Like I take a shower, I prepare a meal. It know, it's not, it is not the end of the world. You know, neither the shopping, no the sitting with a friend, all of it is just peaceful. That's the difference. I think the difference is now the relationship I have with food is just quiet. You know, it's just calm the way I go put gas in my car. You know, that's as simple as that. My car needs gas. I don't debate. Should I give it bananas and caramel instead of, you know, gasoline?

I don't. I know what to do. I love that analogy so much. And isn't it so funny how we, yeah, all of us women struggle with some component of that, I think. I think every woman has gone through some component of that on all sides of the spectrum because I dealt with this on the other side of the spectrum where when I went back to school

and I was getting my master's in nutrition, I was learning so much about our food industry, about what foods are good for us, what foods were bad as far as like processed foods, like things that we don't wanna be putting in our body. And I became very hyper focused on that to the point where it ruined my life in other ways where, you know, friends would invite me to go to dinners on the weekends. And I would be so concerned that I wouldn't be able

to get organic food that I would eat my meal before I went. And then I would go and I'd just have drinks with them or just like socialize afterwards. And I had this tipping point where I was like, I am spending so much of my time alone, eating meals alone, and so much of my mental energy worrying about if this is organic or not, that it is actually hindering me in other areas of my life. And it's actually affecting me in some ways. And so I had to come to this reconciliation of,

I'm gonna do the best I can. I'm gonna control the groceries that I can, like bring organic into my home. I'm gonna cook home cooked meals and prioritize those as much as I can. But when I'm invited out with friends, I'm going to enjoy my time because there's also so much research to show

that enjoying a meal amongst people you love is equally as healthy for you. Yes, exactly. I was gonna say, you can eat your non-organic food with the friends and the laughter and the good moment. That will not hurt you. I believe our bodies know how to process the stuff. I think what makes us sick is the judgment we're having as we're having... I mean, you and I both know people that probably eat. I would sit there and I would watch. I actually have a dear friend of mine. I'm not going to say her name here, but she eats so much.

It's like, I don't even know how she downs that food. She has a stomach that's like this big. She's like this tiny little person, but she eats so much. And I'm always like, I watch her and I'm always kind of like, wow, she's eating and I'm the one getting weight just by it. But it's so frustrating. You're like, God, how? It is, but it isn't because at the same time,

it's like she's dealing with something else. You know, it's like my journey to solve my food or to solve my body. Someone did help me a lot along the way. This woman I worked with as a therapist and she had said something to me along the lines of, you are being honest. You know what?

I can see your struggle. A lot of people, maybe they smoke or maybe they do porn all night, or maybe they gamble like crazy, or maybe they eat gummy bears and then they work out like crazy. You know, you don't, you wouldn't see it, you know, yours, you're an honest, you know, you show your vulnerability. And I remember sitting there, like I was 18, you know, and everything I knew about being fat at that time was such attack against myself, you know, and when she said that, I just choked up just thinking about this moment of like, wow, I'm actually a strong person that I can walk around in this civilization,

you know, this is not the Renaissance, you know, but being white, you know, white as in pale and large is a good thing, you know. This is not a culture of this. And yet I'm walking around like, you know what? That's it. This is my pain. This is my difficult part of my life. And I remember that was the beginning of the journey of self-love.

If you're eating something that is supposedly not on the list of good foods, then you know what? Love yourself. Love yourself right now as much as you can. Because otherwise, you're adding, what is that expression? You're adding whatever to misery. What is that thing? Oh, God, I don't remember it either. Like you're kind of adding injury. Injury or insult to... Insult to injury, exactly. Not only are you eating food that's not the best, but then you're judging. And when you judge, you change your chemicals. You know, they're doing a lot of research around forgiveness.

Like when you're actually able to forgive, you let your body, there's something about your mass that becomes more loving and more accepting and you digest better, you know, as physiological as that. It's like, so if you're going to be eating the pizza, you know, don't do it hiding and don't do it with the shame, you know, do it with the love. Just don't do 17 months of that, you know,

because that was my thing. I would be like, you know what, I ruined the day. Might as well, you know, eat crap tonight and tomorrow because now I ruined the week and now the month and now it's three years later. Just intercept the train a little bit faster, you know, and go back to some loving foods. Yeah, well, and you know, the food component is really hard because I don't think we talk enough about what you were saying earlier about, you know,

the gambling and porn or whatever the addiction is. To a certain extent, this is an addiction because what you are describing is you were having this obsession and then you were also hiding it because you had, you know, shame around it. And what's so hard about this being food versus like gambling, if food is something that you absolutely need to survive, you can't just abstain from it. You can abstain from gambling, if food is something that you absolutely need to survive, you can't just abstain from it. You can abstain from gambling. But food is a very tricky thing where you're balancing this line of like, okay, I need this for sustenance. But also like if I go too overboard, I'm going to go back into this addictive patterning. How did you get yourself out of that? You know, it's funny because I quit. So I used to smoke, which being in France, you know, no surprise there. And when I finally stopped, I was at three packs a day. That's a lot of cigarettes. That's like,

I used to joke that I was saving on matches because I would literally use one to light the, you know, literally to light the other. And it takes a lot of courage to quit smoking. That's a difficult addiction as well. But as you just said, you can live without smoking. But eating, it's like a tiger that has to come out three times a day, if not more. And so it became, I think the break point for me was I was eating this big steak and it was cut. It was already chopped. I was in a restaurant and they already had chopped it. And I realized that the steak itself had the same shape as the slice. So I turned the slice around and I move all the rest of the steak. And I started talking to myself.

I was like, huh, what if we started looking at this one slice as it is the steak? So we're just going to eat less. We're going to eat slower. We're going to eat smaller bites. And I started cutting this little meat. I remember having this moment of like, I'm like a little dollhouse. And I started cutting this meat really small and I put it in my mouth and I really experienced it. And I was just really, ah, you know, and you know what?

It was so satisfying and it was so nurturing that it became like, oh, wow, like the quantity is really not the thing. It is not the thing. And so learning how to manage the beast, I call it a little bit, you know, it means start feeling your feelings. Start being sad when you're sad. And if you don't have a huge backlog, it doesn't take that long, you know, like I just choked up as I was talking to you

and I felt sad for a second or sad or moved or poignant, whatever it was. And that was that, you know, like I don't have to sit there for three days, you know, sobbing because there is no problem. The problem is people have backlogs. And so they don't feel, you know, that they never grieved that thing or they never forgave that thing. And so when they feel a feeling, this avalanche, you know, of like 16 relationships that were hurtful, you know, when they were teenagers or whatever. And so my advice or my how to now is really like, learn to feel the feeling as it's happening and let it be.

It's not that long. Like one of my friend does research around this and it's like a true feeling is like 90 seconds. If it's longer than that, you're adding, you know, narrative, you're adding color that's not really there in this moment. So I would say that's one of the tricks is really to learn. I mean, it depends why people eat. There's different reasons why people do. But in general, I think feeling your feelings and covering them up to not feel them, that's a pretty... I think you and I can probably bet that it's one of the big, maybe not the only one, but one of the big ones. So to just be able to like, wow, this thing made me sad.

There's nothing I need to do about it. It's just I'm sad that it happened. Or I'm excited that it happened. Listen, you and I were going to talk in a month and then we decided to talk today and I was all excited. That would have made me want to go eat because I was an eater all around. Excited, eat.

Sad, eat. Sad, eat. Angry, eat. It's just the only way I would deal. And so the excitement is also like some people try to control how much they go up or down and to not disturb anyone. So just learning to be kind of like,

this is really exciting. And then back to whatever this moment is. Next, next moment, next moment. There's nothing more comforting than a warming cup of hot chocolate before bed. I know coming from me, that may sound a little counterintuitive because you're probably thinking how is hot chocolate healthy for you, but I've got a little hack for you and it's called Organifi's gold chocolate. First and foremost, the most important thing here, it has one gram of total sugar in it. So you get the satisfaction of important thing here, it has one gram of total sugar in it. So you get the satisfaction of having a comforting, cozy little sweet treat after dinner

without all the loaded sugar. And it's like with this one, you get a twofer, a two for one, because you also have the added bonus of things like turmeric, lemon balm, turkey tail. There's also magnesium and there's reishi in there. So whenever I drink this at night before bed, it gets me really sleepy and ready to wind down. And it really improved my sleep. There's also a blend in there that helps with digestion. There's acacia, cinnamon, ginger, black pepper, and turmeric. So if you have this after dinner, it's also going to help with your digestion and it's going to get you ready for bed. My favorite thing about Organifi products outside of them being all organic, they're also glyphosate residue free.

If you have listened to this podcast long enough or paid attention to my Instagram, you know that glyphosate is a huge, huge concern for all of us in this country. Glyphosate is a known carcinogen that is being sprayed. It's an herbicide that's being sprayed on all of our crops that are not organic. And it's also being leaked into organic products as well, organic foods. So this glyphosate residue free stamp is so incredibly important. And it's one of my favorite things about Organifi outside of their actual products, which I love. If you want to try this hot cocoa from Organifi or any of their other products that I mentioned today, make sure that you go to Organifi.com slash Real Foodology, and you are going to save 20% on your order. Again, that's O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I.com slash Real Foodology. This is so amazing because I can't speak for the listeners, but just as I'm sitting here listening to you, I don't hear a lot of people talking about

this side of it. And I think this plays, like you, I don't hear a lot of people talking about this side of it. And I think this plays, like you said, one of the biggest roles that people are struggling with. I mean, obviously I don't want to discount the fact that there are health concerns that people are dealing with. Like if your thyroid is not working correctly, it's going to cause you either to eat more or to undereat or, you know, there's hormonal components here, but I do think that there is a massive emotional component there. And there's also a big here, but I do think that there is a massive emotional component there. And there's also a big component too of that. And I talk about this all the time on the podcast is that we're creating our, these food like products now that are hyper palatable, food like products that are really, really addictive. And so once you open that bag,

you can't stop. And so I tell people too, that, you know, part of this battle is to not let those companies win anymore. If, that, you know, part of this battle is to not let those companies win anymore. If you know that you're going to buy this, this, you know, can of Pringles or whatever it is, and not physically be able to stop, one, don't feel shame around that because that, that, that is something that's... It is meant to make you want to finish the thing. Yes. It's overriding our own biology. So that is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to take action and say, you know what?

If I bring this into my home, I will not be able to stop eating this. And that right there is an act of self-love because you can say, you know what? I'm not even going to tempt myself. I'm going to get something healthier that I like and keep that around as a snack, you know, something more filling that I can actually stop eating at a certain point.

Yeah. And although you're speaking beautifully of the side of the emotions, I do think that the food side, the nutrition side of things resolves itself so much faster if you raise the awareness around the emotions. Because part of what makes you want to buy the Pringles is because you didn't take care of yourself or you didn't express your emotion or you didn't speak your need and someone completely overrode you or because you have a job that you really can't stand and eating chips is like the height of your life or you're in a relationship that you're afraid all the time and when you're afraid all the time. And when you're afraid all the time, your cortisol shoots through the roof. And when your cortisol is high, you cannot not eat. It's like there's some components. I mean, that biohacking was a super interesting discovery for me to realize that this is like a whole chemical playground. Like for me personally, again, not a rule, but if I don't

eat protein with the start of my day, I do not do well. It's like if I start with a bagel, I can tell you by noon, I want pasta, by three, I want sugar, and by seven, all I want is ice cream. But if I start with eggs, or I start with turkey, or I start with something that my body processes as protein, then the rest of my day, I can choose. Like you said something really wise earlier. It's like when you're into sugar, and I really don't want to harp on sugar more than we already did, but definitely the more you eat sugar, the more you're going to need sugar. It's simple chemistry. It's like the candida rises, the more you have candida in your body, the more you're going to want sugar, it's going to just not stop.

And so if you stop eating sugar for two or three days, it will feel like you're detoxing from heroin. No joke. It is not an easy thing to do. But once it's done, now I can look, I mean, I can literally be around my favorite, used to be favorite sweet foods and be like, oh, like my body is like, as you you said i've disconnected from what society wants me to do because too much corn was planted so we have too much syrup so might as well put it in every single food that exists including like i don't know what i bought the other day i'm forgetting now but i bought something and i was like why is there sugar in this like it had no reason it's almost like they had poured sugar on fruit. It's like,

I don't understand, but because they don't know what to do with this corn. And there's a lobby out there that's saying, you know what, put sugar in everything so people will consume more and become more addicted to it. Yeah, no, and you're right. The emotional component is a really big part of it. So what was your journey? Let's say someone listening right now is really resonating with this and they're like, oh man, wow, I think I might be doing that. What would be their steps to start acknowledging that this is happening and getting out of it? Like, do they keep a journal?

Do they write down every time they're, you know, going to food and feeling certain feelings? A beautiful idea. Start keeping a journal and start being honest with what you feel, even if it's just your journal and you're not doing it out loud. I would say slow down. Just try to like every time there is this like pull. I mean, it is like a horse is now going 500 miles an hour when you're in the addiction, obviously. call a friend, go to a 12-step program, do put habits in place that instead of feeding the addiction will feed an act of self-love. Like for years, I had two or three of my friends that were

kind of on standby and I was that for them, you know, similarly, that if I ever felt this, like, I would say to myself, you know what, you can go to that, whatever pizza, whatever that thing would be. But first you're going to call Erin, just call her. That's all I'm asking of you. I would talk to myself and I would just say, just call her. And if you still want the pizza afterwards, because she's one of my most nurturing, loving, accepting friend. And so five minutes with her, and I'd be like, what is it that I wanted to do? It'd be gone because that pizza somehow was no longer, didn't have that hold on me because I had given myself, you know, that, that love.

So having a group of friends around you that know that you're doing this would be beautiful. I have a sub stack that's called war and piece of cake that I, I talk a lot about this journey and there's lots and lots of stories and ideas and opportunities. So it's called war and Piece of Cake. We can maybe, I'll send you the link if that's helpful. Yeah, we'll link it.

Yeah. So, you know, there's, honestly, as you raise your self-love, there's plenty of solutions out there. I don't think I'm saying anything that's not been said before, but it starts with just love yourself a tiny bit more because then you just won't, you just won't do self-destructive behaviors as much. And then eventually not any at all. Right? Yes. I love that so much. I really want to be mindful of your time. I have one last question for you, which is one

that I ask all of my guests and it's a personal one, actually. I want to know what your own health non-negotiables are. So these are things that either you do daily, maybe weekly, maybe both, that are only for you to prioritize your own health. I don't eat sugar. I think that we've made that clear. I don't touch it. And I move. I've started playing pickleball. I play pickleball most days for two hours. Moving has become a non-negotiable and it used to not be I used to be a body that carries my head around really the water I'm still

how much water I need I'm not sure but drinking water make sure I stay hydrated has become important to me and then surrounding myself with love you know that's a non-negotiable like if anything feels like not love, it's got to go. It's got to go out of my life.

If a friend becomes, you know, any of it, it's just, I want love in my life and I'm the one who can do something about it. So if something smells like not love, out. I love that so much. Those are amazing. Is there anything else you want to end with? Is there anything we didn't go over that you think is really important for people to hear? I'm super grateful for you and for what you're doing and for the time you're spending trying to educate people. I just think we're all making a difference by doing this. And I'm just really

grateful that this conversation was one of the most interesting ones I've had in the topic. So thank you for that. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. I'm so touched by that. Well, please let the listeners know where they can find you. I know you dropped your sub stack and we're going to link that, but is there anything else like your Instagram or anything else you want to drop? Funny enough, I launched a podcast this morning. It's one of my best friend's birthday and we launched it on her birthday today and we're having conversations. It's called Be, Play, Love. Be, Play, Love. And that's on Apple, everything. So go there. And then from that, you can find it anywhere. Instagram, my name, anything. Thank you so much for this conversation. This was really lovely. This is amazing. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of The Real Foodology Podcast. If you liked the episode, please leave a review in your podcast app to let me know. This is a Resonant Media production produced by Drake Peterson and edited by Mike Fry. The theme song is called Heaven by the amazing singer Georgie. Georgie is spelled with a J. For more amazing podcasts produced by my team, go to resonantmediagroup.com. I love you guys so much. See you next week. The content of this show is for educational

and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and doesn't constitute a provider patient relationship. I am a nutritionist, but I am not your nutritionist. As always, talk to your doctor or your health team first. You may know Bethany as the face of the popular Instagram page, Lil Sipper, or you may have even read her book. Now you can find her wherever you get your podcasts. On Digest This, Bethany examines topics such as gut health, nutrition, the food industry,

and highlights specific ingredients that can be beneficial or harmful to your gut health. She also explores non-toxic options in beauty, home, and cooking essentials. If it has to do with your health, Digest This is talking about it. Each episode features an interview with health experts, doctors, and wellness advocates, and delivers you information that is, well, easy to digest. Bethany also delivers a weekly segment every episode called Bite of Knowledge, where she highlights an ingredient commonly used in food, skincare, household cleaning, you name it, and gives you the lowdown on the benefits or dangers

that ingredient might have in your everyday life. From Botox, potassium, olive oil, and magnesium, all the way to those ingredients you can barely pronounce on the back of your cereal boxes, Bethany has you covered. There's a reason why it debuted at number two on Apple Podcast Nutrition Charts. Check out Digest This on your favorite podcast app. Thank you.