Realfoodology - No One is Coming to Rescue You with Doug Bopst

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

109: On today's episode, I am joined by Personal Trainer, Speaker and Author Doug Bopst about why no one is coming to rescue you.  Doug speaks about his journey of hitting rock bottom, going to jail, how he picked himself back up and he teaches us why we have to stop depending on others to be healthy both mentally and physically.  We also touch on great ways to deal with stress, addiction and eating disorders. Check Out Doug: Doug's Website Sponsored By: Organifi www.organifi.com/realfoodology Code REALFOODOLOGY gets you 20% OFF Magic Mind http://www.magicmind.co Code REALFOODOLOGY gets you 20% OFF Check Out Courtney: Courtney's Instagram: @realfoodology www.realfoodology.com Air Dr Air Purifier AquaTru Water Filter Further Listening: Why Mindset Matters

On today's episode of The Real Foodology Podcast. have so much information, people just lack the tools or they lack the confidence to be able to take those first few steps further down the continuum that people like you and myself want people to get to. Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Real Foodology podcast. I am your host, Courtney Swan. I'm so happy that you guys are here. Today's episode is a really inspiring one and a little different from my normal conversations. My guest is Doug Bopst. He is an award-winning personal trainer, author, speaker, and business owner. But what is so fascinating about this man is that he is a former felon and drug addict.

He was sentenced to years in jail due to his poor decisions. And instead of wallowing in pity, he chose to use that time locked in his small cell to beat his demons and reinvent himself. And thanks to his cellmate, he found fitness. While he was in jail, he got his life together and found a new passion for health and fitness. And now he spends his time helping others with their health and fitness. This is just a really candid conversation about his experiences, what led him to his drug addictions. We talk about food addictions. We talk about his diet and his philosophy around health and diet and fitness and so much more. So with that, let's get into the episode. Hey, and before we get to Doug's

conversation, I just want to ask a really quick favor of you. If you guys could leave a rating and review, it helps the show so much. It helps me to get the show into more ears, which is ultimately the goal. So thank you so much. Okay, so I talked a lot about the reds and greens from Organifi and the gold, but I haven't shared with you guys about Glow yet. Glow is another one of their drink powders that I love. This one is for my vegan friends that are looking for natural collagen support that is plant-based. Also, you don't have to be vegan. I'm not vegan and I still drink it, but I do get a lot of questions from my vegan plant-based friends that do not want to consume collagen. So this is a great alternative. It has things like tremella mushroom, rosehip,

aloe vera, bamboo silica, pomegranate. It tastes amazing. It is full of antioxidants and it supports natural collagen growth. My favorite thing to do is to add it into just plain sparkling water to give it a little bit of flavor. I really like the flavor of this stuff. As always with Organifi, it is USDA organic and it's also glyphosate residue free, which is great because we do not want glyphosate that causes cancer in our body. So if you want to try Organifi, make sure that you go to Organifi.com slash realfoodology. That's O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I.com slash realfoodology. And also make sure that you use code real food ology and you're going to get 20% off. I hope you guys love it. Well, let's dive into first of all, what is your diet philosophy? Do you have one? Like what do you, how do you eat?

My diet philosophy over the years has kind of been, I think it's kind of evolved, right? I've tried everything because I was the guy who, when I was a kid, I was a fat kid. Like I loved eating pizza. I loved eating sweets. I loved eating cheese steaks, donuts, you name it, because I was using food to self-medicate and to numb. And then eventually I became a drug addict. And when you get high, it's not like, hmm, I'm craving a boiled chicken breast right now. It's like, no, I just want to eat the worst possible food for me

because it's just something that's going to fill me up instantly and make me feel better right away. And so as I began to have my fitness transformation, like when I was in jail, that was an experience that really shaped my life. And I began to make better food choices, but it was a slow process. And the process was just as simple as, all right, when I was in jail, I wasn't going to eat like the six pieces of bread they gave me at dinner. I was just going to focus on whatever protein they gave me, the vegetables, the salads, the eggs, the stuff that was more whole food based, I guess, if you will. Because the goal in there was just to develop better eating habits and understand the value

of what I was eating and then also lose a little bit of weight to give me some self-confidence to continue on with it. Which must have been really hard in jail because you hear that their food is worse than our hospitals and school systems. And I know those are atrocious. How bad is the food in prison? It was bad. And I think it was bad for two reasons. One, because I was in this daze and fog the first few weeks of my incarceration because I was detoxing from opiates. And then you get through that and you hit the point where you're like, oh shit, I'm in jail. This is reality. And I was used to, for years I was used to just being able to go and eat what I wanted to.

And I lost that sense of control. So then you get to jail, and it's forced meals, and you're eating – I forget exactly, but don't quote me on this. I think there were certain religious things in there where they couldn't serve red meat because they have to, I think, be accommodating. Which I understand. Listen, I get that. So it was like soy sausage and the bad kind of... I think everybody can agree. Either people who are pro-soy or anti-soy,

I think the middle ground is the fake meats are no good, right? Even my staunch vegan friends agree. Exactly, that's what I mean. So there's that. Then there was peanut butter and jelly, which was good. But then I'm like, this reminds me of being three years old again. This is what my life's boiled down to. But then the thing I look forward to, there's a few things I look forward to.

One was Sundays we had chicken. It was like a rotisserie-style chicken we would get on a plate. And it almost looked like crow that was very burnt. It just wasn't the most appetizing. It's not the chicken you'd see at Erewhon, right? Yeah. There was also this thing called a hookup in there, which I guess it relates more to a cheat meal here on the streets,

quote-unquote, as we would call it when we were in jail. You would take all your leftover food from the week. You would save like your chicken, you would save your rice, you'd save like the sausage, and then you would get like oodles and noodles off commissary and you would get like some cheesy stuff and you would just mix it all together in a hot bag or in a bag with hot water and let it sit for like 30 minutes. And it was almost like a Thanksgiving family dinner we would have once a week. But I just learned, I guess, Courtney, like the biggest thing I learned in there when it came to nutrition, it was, it was going to be a slow burn. Because I think for me and like so many people that I've worked with, and I'm sure people that

you've worked with, people get so intimidated by trying to climb this massive mountain that is sometimes weight loss, that is changing their diet. Sometimes it's just completely overhauling their entire health because it's in shambles. And they decide to give up because they're like, what was the point? There's no way I'm going to be able to accomplish this. And so my cellmate, I remember asking him because he was the guy who trained me in there and got me into all this stuff. I said, how long is it going to take for me to lose my belly fat? And he was like, well, how long have you been beating your body up? And I was like, a long time.

He's like, it's going to take a long time. And so that right there just ingrained in my mind, this is going to be a process. So the food in jail, it definitely created some sense of gratitude that like, if I can eat this stuff, I can eat anything. And two, it got me in the, in the, in the rhythm of, of making better food choices and realizing that I had autonomy in what I wanted to eat. I had choice in what I wanted to eat and certain foods made me feel a certain way and certain foods did make me feel a certain way. And there was going to be consequences to that. And I don't mean consequences to where as a human, I was going to become like a bad person or I was going to get more time in jail. I just meant I had some goals when I was in jail to be able to do more pushups and to

lose some weight. So in order to do that, you have to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight. It's just basic science, right? And we can get into why quality can matter too. But I think just science, everybody can agree on the lose weight. You have to burn more calories than you're consuming. And so I decided to see like, oh, if I cut out these six slices of bread and maybe some pasta or potatoes

that were like my go-to coping mechanism food when I was outside of jail, I can see some progress. And so I built off of that. And then when I was outside of jail, I can see some progress. And so I built off of that. And then when I got out of jail, I became obsessed with fitness and health that I wanted to learn everything about how I could make more changes in my nutrition to improve my health and lifestyle. And that's when I would read muscle and fitness, men's health, stuff like that to really see, okay, like my cellmate taught me what to eat inside a jail and gave me some tips on what I can eat out on the outside. But like, what are some actual things that I can learn

on my own to do that? And it was a slow process. I mean, I started with just making better choices. So instead of eating like raw, like gluten-free old-fashioned oats, for instance, for breakfast, which I was like a guy who, I was always a staple for me, I was eating oatmeal. But at first it was like, I'll eat like the lower sugar, brown sugar cinnamon oatmeal, because I was like, all right, I'm at least not eating cocoa puffs for breakfast. I'm making a better food choice where this oatmeal has less sugar. It's got some fiber. It's got some benefits, but it's not the best thing to eat for breakfast. And then over time, as I got more confidence with that and I built that more into a lifestyle and discipline, it started to evolve over time to where I was eating everything. I was eating like everything. I was eating, you know, good cuts of beef. I was eating

bison. I was eating all types of fish, seafood. I was eating, you know, beans, tons of vegetables, fruits, like a very like healthy palette of food. And then as I started to get more entrenched in the fitness community, I was like, oh, there's actually diets. There's actually diets you can follow. The Atkins and stuff like that was popular when I was a kid, but I never cared about that stuff because all I cared about was eating the opposite, which was the worst processed foods possible. I didn't care about weight loss. I tried paleo and I liked paleo for a little while. That honestly, out of all the quote unquote diets, I think if you can do a paleo diet I liked paleo for a little while. And that honestly, out of all the quote unquote diets, I think if you can do a paleo diet very well, that to me, that's probably the best bang for your buck because you get everything. You get the best sources of animal protein. You get tons of fruits and vegetables. You cut out the processed stuff. And there's a fair amount of

wiggle room in that to where you can be very flexible. And so I did that for a little while. And then I decided that I wanted to be a full on meathead and compete like in a physique competition. So my diet became, this was like in my mid twenties, it became just no fat, straight carbs, protein and veggies. And I did well. I got very, very lean, but it wasn't sustainable. I was miserable doing it because it was so strict, so bland, and I just was depleted all the time. That triggered a lot of things for me, Courtney, because it triggered a few things. One, it triggered this body dysmorphia that I think I had slowly developed, which I think might be kind of common for people who go from one extreme to the next extreme.

Because for me, I was so worried about going backwards that I was like, all right, if I eat pizza, if I eat any ice cream that by default, I'm going to go back to being the fat kid that I hated when I was growing up, which we all know doesn't really happen. I just became so obsessed with my diet that I think it just nearly broke me down mentally and emotionally to the point where I wasn't going out on dates. I was hiding in my room eating boiled chicken. I was traveling on coast to coast flights with food. And I know some people do that and I'm not shaming anybody, but I just, for me, I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was doing it because I was so afraid that if I ate anything other than what I

ate, that I was going to gain weight. And that's not a good, that's not a good, healthy place to be in because I always wanted to get to a place where fitness wasn't my life. It was part of my life. And that I wanted to be able to raise a family. I knew I wasn't going to be able to date anybody if I was just going to hide in my room and not eat out. Or if I was going to be so overly obsessed with my body that it was going to create tension in a relationship. And I just knew that I had to get out of that. And so through a lot of therapy and self-awareness and deep healing, I detached from my relationship to food.

And I realized that I can still have some food that maybe might not be the healthiest. And I think I'll actually might end up feeling better because I'm not going to binge eat every few weeks because I actually have a healthy amount of whatever food in my plan. And so I've been successful doing that off and on through the years. And I went full plant-based for like a month, and I just realized it wasn't for me because I had clients that were doing it. And anytime a client comes up to me, they're like, what do you think of this vegan stuff?

I'm like, well, let me try it and just see. And I tried it, and I was miserable on it. I, for me, like what I've learned is it's way harder to do a plant-based diet for the, for my opinion than it is to do like an omnivorous diet solely because the average person has enough trouble as is eating barely any fruits and vegetables. So now you're like, all right, now you got to eat a ton of fruits and vegetables. You now got to eat black beans. You got to acquire a taste for things like organic tempeh and organic this and that to make sure that you are getting your protein needs met. It's very hard to do. And I mean, it certainly can be done. I think if you really are diligent, disciplined, you're very meticulous about tracking everything and you have like a good sense of nutrition and where you can make up for like some, where

you can make up some ground, like with when you're not getting certain nutrients that you would get from other sorts of foods that you're not eating. It's very hard though. It's very, very hard. It's very challenging. And so I did that for a little while. And then I've just been, I guess lately, my main focus has been on a good, solid, omnivorous diet where, I mean, I honestly don't eat as much beef as I used to. I mean, and I'm not, again, I'm not anti-red meat either. But for me, I guess I just have switched to eating wild game. So I've been eating bison, elk, venison, and then fish, eggs, chicken. And I mean,

every once in a while I might eat some steak or something, but I don't buy it. And that's just what's working for me right now. And I guess we can talk about why what I do isn't what's best for the next person and why what somebody else do might not be what's best for me and so on and so forth. But I guess that kind of gives you an idea of my diet journey and why I kind of can see both sides, I can see that it's really hard for somebody to go from eating like I did back when I was a kid to just being like, all right, I want you to shop all organic. I want you to just go like full out paleo and cut out all processed foods. Oh, and by the way, you got to get enough sleep. You got to drink water and you got to like

watch your calories. You got to do all these things at once. Because if it were as easy as that, we wouldn't be in the crisis we're in right now. Because we have so much information that the only thing I can think of is that people just lack the tools or they lack the confidence to be able to take those first few steps

to get further down the continuum that people like you and myself want people to get to. Yeah. Well, and I think the bigger issue is that people are addicted and they're not fully aware. We talk so much about drug addiction, which is something that you have in your past that I want to dive into, and all these other addictions, but we don't really talk about food addiction because it's a very touchy subject because people get their feelings hurt and it's very emotional. Food is a very emotional thing for pretty much for all of us.

And we are living in a time where we have these companies that are producing these highly palatable, highly addictive food-like products and they are everywhere. I was talking about this actually with my podcast producer yesterday about how, think about when you go to like Home Depot and you're there to get tools and like stuff for your house and then you're checking out and there's just aisles of junk food as you're checking out or like convenience stores. Gas stations, when our parents were kids, had maybe a Coca-Cola machine and like a bubble gum machine and that's it. And now they've become basically like one-stop shops for all the junk food that you could imagine and they advertise them for you while you're filling up your gas. I mean, we're dealing with food addiction is really what I believe is one of the biggest driving forces of it. And a lot of it

is a lack of education as well, because I think many people don't understand the true cost of what these foods are doing to our body. Right. And I agree with you. I think that a lot of what we're seeing, in my opinion, is a symptom of some deep-rooted, unhealed mental health issues, mismanagement of stress, inability to cope with anxiety. And people, I think, are even unaware of it. And why I was excited to have the conversation we're having now is people in our space, we're so used to knowing, all right, you got to eat organic if you can. You got to eat this and that. You got to have self-awareness. You got to meditate. But for the average person, which is most people,

they don't have a lot of self-awareness. They're just kind of going through life. They're going through the motions. So they have no idea that when they are stressed and they just grab for a bag of chips or they grab for that bottle of wine or whatever. They have no idea that they're doing it because they're either bored, they're stressed. They're just doing it. They're on autopilot. Right. And I think that's the biggest issue is that I think that the best way I've ever heard addiction described to me of any kind is it's an external or an internal disease that's displayed externally.

Right. And I think also addiction can be described as continued use despite as adverse consequences. Right. And so I'm not, I don't think, and I think you would agree, I don't think it's unhealthy to eat ice cream like every once in a while. I don't think it's unhealthy to eat ice cream every once in a while. I don't think it's unhealthy to eat pizza. But I think it becomes a problem when you're gaining weight and weight and weight and weight and maybe you're pre-diabetic and your cholesterol is up. Maybe you have all these health markers are getting worse and worse and worse. And you're continuing to make these choices that you know are crushing your health even though you know, right? Well, and I would even say too, I would argue that we have redefined what ice cream, pizza,

cookies, all these things look like. I mean, I had pizza last night for dinner actually, but it's very different than ordering from Domino's or I didn't get like a frozen pizza from Ralph's down the street or whatever. I made it with organic ingredients. So like an organic crust, I had organic pizza sauce that didn't have sugar in it. And then I had organic grass fed dairy. And I know that this isn't available for everyone, but I think for almost everyone, what is available at least is buying healthier ingredients than the highly processed, either ordering Domino's or buying those frozen pizzas. And I think that is one piece of this very multifaceted issue. It's so deep. And I agree with you. I think for people like me, especially

people like us and others that can afford it and do have the discipline and have the time to sit down, buy all these ingredients, make the pizza at home. I think, yeah, absolutely. Because I think it adds another element to it. I've seen families that are like, all right, it's pizza. Every Friday, it's going to be pizza night. I have friends who do this. And what they do is it's cool to like watch what they do. Every Friday, they'll create different stuff. So maybe one Friday, they'll do like a pepperoni pizza.

Or then the next Friday, they do like, I don't know, like some sort of chicken pizza. And it just, it gets creative. And I think it's a great thing for families to do because now it's not just ordering, like you said, a pizza from Domino's. Now you're spending time with your family. You're getting creative. You're using your mind. You're probably saving some money. And you probably feel better about doing it because you're like, I actually made this.

I actually accomplished something. And that's a rule that I use too. I very rarely will eat, I mean, I don't eat fast food, but if I'm going to eat pizza, it's got to be good pizza. It's got to be worth it. Just like ice cream. I'm not going to go out and buy a thing of store-bought ice cream. If I'm at a creamery or if I'm in LA and there's that place, what's it called? Jenny's or Jen's or whatever. Oh yeah, Jenny's ice cream is really good. Also Van Leeuwen too, that's really good. Yeah, it's got some importance to it or they make their own stuff.

I mean then yeah, I'm going to indulge and get some ice cream. Last night, perfect example, I took my grandparents down to D.C. and we went to this restaurant called Villamina which is this authentic Italian restaurant. And the food, they make their own pasta there. They make all their stuff. And I got pasta. I got chicken marsala and I ate it and I felt fine. And that's where I'll eat stuff like that. And I try to encourage my clients, like, all right, listen, if you're going to eat crappy food, just do your best to just make sure it's worth it. Because it's going to add up.

Because if somebody's coming to me and their goal is weight loss, then they really have to be meticulous about what they're eating. And what I found, and this I think even goes deeper than food, and I want to get your opinion on this, is I find sometimes a decent percentage of people's calories come from alcohol. And when you're looking at their overall caloric intake, they might be getting in 1,200 calories and they're having like two or three glasses of wine a night. So there's like three, 400 calories right there. Just like a third of their calories are coming from alcohol.

Yeah. And that's a big concern too. And there's more and more experts speaking out about the true detrimental effects of alcohol on our bodies. Like Huberman has been going really hard on this lately. And I'm, I'm a person that loves to enjoy my wine. I buy this organic biodynamic keto wine from dry farm wines. And so it's very low in sugar and lower in calories and lower in alcohol. But I've even been scaling back to just because the research that's coming out is just not, it's not great. No. And I always will say to people, how does it make you feel? I've had people that I've known that are like, I'm going to do a dry 30 or sober 30, or I'm going to go sober curious, and they cut out alcohol for 30 days.

And at the end, they're like, man, I feel great. I've lost a little bit of weight. I have more clarity. I'm sleeping better. My anxiety is kind of subsided. And I'm like, oh, okay, so you're going to keep going? They kind of subsided. And I'm like, oh, okay. So you're going to keep going? They're like, nah.

And I'm like, wait, like why? They're like, well, I think I can handle it in moderation. And you hear this story all the time. And I'm not the alcohol police. Again, I will say like, all right, if you can feel great, if your relationships are good, if it's not messing with your brain, your ability to perform and all the things, well then I don't give a shit what you do. But a lot of times it's the opposite. People will say, I'm not sleeping well, I have anxiety, troubled relationships,

I'm seeing it kind of take control. But then people are afraid because alcohol is the only drug that you have to justify saying no to. Which is crazy to me. That's very crazy. And people are afraid to stop. People are afraid to be out. And when their friends are drinking, they're gonna be like, why aren't you drinking?

They're afraid to say because I just don't want to. I know. It's really crazy. I have a friend the other day that posted this on his Instagram. And he said when he stopped drinking alcohol it was the only time that people started saying, are you doing okay? He was like, what? Yeah, I'm doing great.

I want to stop drinking alcohol. I'm doing better. And it's really sad, I think, too, in that a lot of what we value in this country revolves around food and alcohol. And I think that's part of the problem too is messaging. It's the environment. I mean, I look at different people who live in poverty and they have a lot harder time getting access to healthier foods.

I look at every time somebody has a birthday, it's like, what are we going to do? We're going to go out and eat a bunch of food and we're going to get drunk. That's the thing. We're going to tailgate before a sporting event. We got to have an after party after the after party after the after party after a dance. And I think it just creates this normalization that alcohol has to be part of your life when you're doing everything. And you know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of when I was an addict, because I couldn't do anything without being high. I couldn't go to a football game without

being high. I couldn't go to the zoo without being high, the aquarium, the mall. I had to be high as shit because that was my normal. In order to be around other people, I had to be almost drowned out with a substance to feel confident and comfortable. And so when I got out of jail, when I didn't have anything in me, one of the first things I was super excited to do was go to one of these places without being high. And I was like, wow, I'm noticing so much more. This is more fun than I thought. Guys, I have been getting all of my friends recently on what I've been calling my natural Adderall. I was so excited. Drake, my podcast producer, called me the other day and he was so hyped up. I was like, what is going on with you? He was like,

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Yeah. So having gone through that experience, and I also wanted a touch on that as well, but are you completely sober now? Do you drink alcohol at all or do any sort of substances? Are you completely sober? I guess through the years, my position has changed to where I have... I don't really talk about this a lot because I don't want people to think that the way that I do it is the way that everybody should do it. And B, that I'm like

breaking any kind of recovery code because I'm not. And here's why. So when I got out of jail, there was options to go to like, I mean, there wasn't, I didn't, I'm sure there was options to go to NA or AA, but it wasn't like where I went. Like I got out of jail and I was just so scared of going back to jail that I decided like I wasn't going to touch. I got out of jail and I was just so scared of going back to jail that I decided I wasn't going to touch the drugs I was abusing again. And I was just going to go to my outpatient drug classes that I was told I could go to. I was 21, so I knew I could still, if I wanted to, drink.

And I knew I was backing up five years of probation and all these things that there was no way I was going to go back to using drugs. So in AA or NA, their thing is full abstinence. So I didn't do that. So the only thing that I knew is that, because none of my friends were in recovery at this time. I didn't know anybody else who was doing, especially at 21. Are you kidding me?

And I just knew that if I didn't do pot, if I didn't snort Coke, if I didn't do Oxy, that I was considered clean, sober, right? Because that was the drugs I was abusing. I didn't have a problem with alcohol. And then as I got older, I developed some healthy coping mechanisms to stress as I've kind of touched on to where now things like fitness, meditation, being comfortable with being uncomfortable, sitting in silence, mentors. I mean, I can go on with these different tools. I have my toolkit for when I'm going through something that I never was like, I want to go do a drug or do alcohol.

It was like that was always my thing. So then I got to a point where I questioned this a lot. Cause I was like, man, like, like, I wonder if I, I mean, I guess, I guess I'm okay to like have a drink every once in a while. Like it's not really doing anything different. And so I would have like a glass of wine every once in a while, like socially, I would never do it like just drink by myself or whatever at home. It was more like if I was out, every once in a while I would. And I never had a problem with it.

And there was times where I went years without drinking just because I was such a lightweight that I would have a glass of wine and the next day I'd have like a hangover. It was so embarrassing. Oh, and that's the worst too. You're like, I don't even feel like I earned this hangover. Right.

And then you throw in the fact that you just want to make sure that you're not putting yourself in a position where you're driving. Even though I had a glass of wine where I'm driving, where I'm feeling a little buzzed or anything like that. And then also I was really into working out. So I would typically work out in the mornings and I just would feel kind of crappy if I would have a glass of wine or something the night before. And so it would be like off and on where, like I said, I went years at one point without

having any alcohol at all. It's where every once in a while having a glass of wine to socialize. I mean, I'm now like not really drinking at all. Like, I mean, at the point when I went at the point at the times where I was having alcohol included into my, my routine, it was maybe like once a month, I was having a glass of wine or something like that. Very rare. So people listening to this, who are in the AA and a community, I mean, if you're a, I know if you're a upset with me, I, I invite you to just gain an open mind and open perspective because this is what worked for me.

If at any point I had used alcohol as a way to cope or I'd found myself getting to a place where it was impeding my life or I was making bad decisions, then I definitely would not have done anything. And I think that there's so many different paths to recovery. Yeah. Dan, I believe the biggest thing you can do other than sobriety or recovery or whatever you want to call it, I think the bigger thing is to develop new coping strategies. Because I don't give a shit if you're abstinent from everything. Life is still going to come at you. And now you don't have these things that were helping you deal with life anymore. So now you have to figure out a healthy way to do it. And I've been thankful that I got into recovery when I was super young.

So I think my brain probably still had some time to develop. I grew up very fast. I'm like an old soul now because I just spent so much time alone and doing some really, really deep, dark work on why I was doing a lot of these things. And I'm happy with where I'm at right now. Yeah. So, I mean, in a way, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but from an outsider's perspective, it feels like going to prison was maybe one of the best things that could have happened to you because it changed your life, it seems like.

A hundred percent. Before prison, I was the kid you wouldn't want your son to hang out with. I was the kid you never would want your daughter to date. By the way, no girls wanted to date me anyway because I was just a slob. No, I'm serious. I was like 50 pounds heavier than I am now. I walked hunched over because I had no self-confidence, no self-esteem. Had 21 jobs by the time I was 21. When I say I was worthless, I was worthless. Selling a bunch of drugs, doing a bunch of drugs, having suicidal thoughts, no purpose, no meaning. And when I got to jail, I cried because I didn't want to go

in. There's like, I think every person would. I mean, I was overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, uncertainty, sad, you name it. I had it because of, I mean, A, what you hear about what goes on in jail, and B, the kid who was the most unathletic kid that existed at the time going into jail, I was mortified. And then on top of that, I had to detox from opiates, cold turkey for three weeks. And yeah, it was like the worst case of the flu, like nonstop vomiting, uncontrollable bowel movements, sleepless nights. It came with all the things. And my soon-to-be cellmate, Eric, was sitting there at the Scrabble table.

He looked like a more jacked version of Brad Pitt from Fight Club. And he was like, you're going to start working out with me when you get through your detox. I was like, dude, bullshit. I could have been a model for Pillsbury at the time. There's no way I was going to exercise. And he was like, all right, man, whatever. He could just tell by looking at me that there was something about me that was just off because I talked super softly.

I was afraid of human interaction. Again, I walked with my head down. I didn't really have much to say. So he knew that there was something going on. And later on, not too long after that, I saw him work out and he was doing thousands of pushups, hundreds of pull-ups, like running all over the place in the gym. And I was just like, man, this is insane. Like, who is this guy?

We ended up talking a few nights later in the cell, and he was asking me questions. He was like, well, why are you here? I'm like, oh, my parents got divorced, and this is why, or girls rejected me in high school, or this is why, or I got cut from all the sports teams. He looked at me and I'm sure you have a lot of female listeners so when I say this I I know that what I'm going to say might offend some people and I just invite I'm just going to be real and raw because I think it's the way it was used and why this why he said it to me which is was an important life lesson for me and anybody else

he looked at me and he said to quit being a and I was just like what it's like huh I said would you just call me it's like not something you ever want to be called right whether you're in jail or not yeah and I was like well what do you mean and because in that moment I thought he was going to coddle me and tell me what I wanted to hear and be like all right it's all right Dougie like those kids are bad like it's all right, Dougie. Like those kids are bad. Like it's all right. It's their, those girls fall like all these things. And you know, you're okay. But now he looked at me, he was just like, dude, like, what do you want me to say to you? He was like, you're blaming everybody else for your problems, but yourself. And that's like the key thing. He was like, there's plenty of people that go through what you went through in art and jail,

right, Doug? And I'm like, yep. He's like, there's plenty of people whose parents get divorced. There's plenty of people get bullied and so on and so forth. And he's like, you got two choices right now. You can be a man, look yourself in the mirror and say, you got yourself here and it's up to you to change. Or you can go be a bitch, go cry in the corner, say woe is me and blame everybody else for your problems. And he's like, most people will do that. And I was like, huh. And at that point, the drugs had started to come out of my system a bit. I was thinking more clearly.

And I just thought to myself, clearly he's right. Clearly I didn't know what I was doing. Clearly my life was in debauchery. And not too long after that, I decided to take him up on his offer to start working out. Got down and do a push-up in front of a bunch of grown men, which was one of my biggest fears, was what people thought of me and what people were going to say to me if I failed, what people were going to say to me if I didn't look strong, what people were going to say to me if I didn't look strong, what people were going to say to me if I didn't look like a quote unquote man because I wasn't athletic or whatever. I had to embrace all of that at once. And I got down to a pushup,

collapsed. And I looked at my cellmate. I was like, why can't I do a pushup? He's like, because you're fat. And I was just like, uh, I know. But I was like, wait. No one wants to hear. Right. He's like, again, we're in jail. We're not in church. So he's like, I'm not going to sugarcoat this. He was like, you have excess belly fat. Your core is weak.

You don't have much upper body strength. So you can't hold yourself up. So you're collapsing. And I hated that word fat because I was called that a lot when I was a kid. And I identified myself as being this fat kid who was never going to lose weight, who was never going to have a girlfriend, who was never going to have any success. That was my identity. And in many ways, I rightfully so believe that because my patterns and how I was treating myself kind of reflected somebody who was very unhealthy. But I also now know that the identity you have in those moments in your life doesn't have to be the identity you carry on for the rest of your life.

And he decided to train me in there every single day during my 90-day sentence. And it was really challenging at first because I could barely walk up and down the steps because I was smoking a bunch of cigarettes too at the time. And we set a goal. We set two goals actually. One was to be able to run a mile without stopping. And two was to be able to do a set of 10 pushups. Yeah, 10. It seems crazy. Pushups without stopping. By the time my sentence was over and with his motivation and encouragement training me in there every single day, I was able to do it. I was able to run that mile and do that set of 10 pushups and it changed my life. It really allowed me to do a few things. One, it got me comfortable being uncomfortable, which for the first time in my life, I was finally able to take all the masks off,

Courtney, because I was always wearing these masks of social media, food, drugs, trying to get attention from girls, trying to get approval from my family. And it was all off. I was as raw and naked emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as you possibly could come. And I was forced to reattach behavior to emotion. I was forced to deal with the underlying stuff, which is kind of why I talked about with the food thing. I think that you really have to learn how to deal with what's going on inside and why you're making some of the choices that I was making. And it also allowed me to create some discipline and show myself some self-love and improve my self-esteem.

And it motivated me. And I felt like I was finally ready to transform my life. And the day I got out, I cried because I didn't want to leave. And I had this crazy spiritual awakening, I guess you would call it, inside of that jail. And I went to my cellmate. I was like, how am I ever going to repay you for helping me? And he said, don't mess up and pay it forward. And he gave me a workout plan

that I still have framed in my place today. So I never forget where I came from and got out and lost a bunch of weight. And that's what inspired me to kind of do what I'm doing today as far as being a trainer. And then that has led to a lot of other things as far as the felony coming off my record and sharing my story on podcasts like this and others and writing a few books and just being on a mission to pay it forward and not forget where I came from. Because my cellmate passed away a few months ago and so now I've been even more inspired and motivated to share the story of hope

to help people never give up on themselves. That's such a powerful story and it really is a testament to the strength of your character because you could have gone the other direction. You could have looked at that guy and said, yeah, I am a bitch and just kept going on with whatever you were doing and loathing,

just reveled in self-pity but you decided to go, you know what? Fuck, you're right. I'm the only one that can change this. And that's really when people are able to start seeing change in their life is when they start taking self-accountability and they realize that they're the only ones that can get them out of this hole. Right.

And it's interesting you say that because I'm getting these shirts made and on the back it says, no one's coming to rescue you. And that's been a tagline of mine. And I say that because I've been on both sides. I've been on the side where I was waiting for drugs to rescue me. I was waiting for a girl to come rescue me. I was waiting for family members. I was waiting for this or that to kind of fix my stuff and make Doug feel better. And I've learned the hard way that it doesn't work. I mean, just to give you a clear example is when I was a teenager, all I wanted was to have a hot girlfriend and have a six pack and make money. That's all I want. I swear to God, that's all I wanted.

The simple things in life. And if like a genie came to me and was like, Doug, I can grant you three wishes, what would they be? And I guarantee you, I would be like, all right, I want a hot girlfriend, I want a six pack, and I want to make money. I want to make good money. And I had those things in my 20s

where I was very ripped. People can see how lean I got in my before and after pictures. I was making really good money as a trainer and I was dating pretty girls and I was still broken. Like there was part of me that was still broken and it wasn't that I felt similar to how I felt in jail to where I was hopeless because it wasn't that. It was more that I thought the juice would be a little bit sweeter, if you know what I mean. I thought that the grass would be a bit greener. I thought it would just

taste a lot sweeter than it actually did. And I actually was even more angry because I was like, wait a second, I feel like I've been lied to. I thought that this was it. This is it. Why? And that's when I started to do a lot of this deep, meaningful work internally that I touched on at the beginning as far as my relationship with food and why I felt that people wouldn't like me unless I looked a certain way and why I felt that I couldn't be confident unless I looked a certain way. What I know about confidence is I don't think that people develop confidence at the top. I think true confidence is built when you're in the thick of it and you continue to believe in yourself, even when the odds are against you. You continue

to believe in yourself, even though you're falling when you didn't want to. You continue to believe in yourself when you look ahead and you're like, there's no way I'm going to be able to achieve whatever I'm doing, but you keep fucking going. That's where I think self-confidence comes from. And I also think self-confidence comes from being you and developing your own identity. Because what I've learned, I've learned this the hard way, is that if you don't develop what you stand for, if you don't develop your own values, your own beliefs, your own identity, you will use the personalities of other people to do it for you. I guarantee you. Yeah.

And I think that going back to the rescue thing, like waiting people to rescue me and save me from my problems nearly cost me my life. Waiting for people to rescue me and save me got me behind bars. I was a convicted felon. I was hopeless and I was full of deep pain. And it wasn't until I started to take responsibility for my actions and my choices and realize that it's a bonus if I meet a girl that I'm aligned with. That's a bonus. I don't need that to be happy.

It's a bonus if my family members forgive me. It doesn't need don't need that to be happy. It's a bonus if my family members forgive me. It doesn't need to happen for me to be happy. It's a bonus if I'm able to make great money. I'm not saying not make money. You need money to survive. Let's get that off the table. You need to make money. But make an abundant amount of money so where I can live a good life. I don't need to be happy. I don't need a bunch of money to be happy. And I had to just be okay with that. And it took a lot of time, took a lot of work. I still work on all that today because I'm a 34 year old bachelor and I got people asking me all the time why I'm not married and, and stuff like that. So I still like battle with like,

like what I'm doing. I mean, I know what I'm doing is the right path, but I also look at friends who are like married with kids and it's like, man, like, am I ever going to settle down or am I just going to do what I'm doing now? And so I'm just being honest that this isn't like, this isn't like a thing where you just plant your, um, a flag in the ground, like a healing journey, but that's it. I'm done. Like no more problems. I think the journey continues to evolve and you know that you're kind of getting better based on the way you respond, based on the way you deal with things. And I think that's just an important lesson

for people to hear. Yeah, absolutely. And I think going back to what you were saying about self-confidence, I think self-confidence is really found when you see that you can pull yourself out of the depths and you can get yourself out of that hole. And I mean, cause you know, all of us go through hardships in life. I don't,

life is hard and no one is ever going to escape some sort of hardship in life. And I think having to pull yourself up from the depths and figure it out, that creates a lot of self-confidence because you realize like, oh, I can't do this. I've got the strength to do this. I've got the strength to get over my addictions, come out of jail and come out a better person. And I think that really creates this sense of self-confidence and self-trust in yourself.

Right. I think you're a thousand percent right because I think a lot of times what happens, and I think this goes back to the identity part, is we create a lot of self-distrust amongst us because for me, deep down, I knew that what I was doing was wrong. I knew that robbing my family members of money was wrong.

I knew that like robbing my family members of money was wrong. I knew that continuing to bury myself with substances was, was wrong. I mean, I didn't think that, I mean, I didn't have the confidence to, to make it out, but I knew that what I was doing was wrong. I knew it wasn't good. And I think that people's choices reflect about choices reflect how they feel about themselves internally, which is why I think a lot of what we're seeing right now is we're seeing people that are just internally hurting and internally broken and internally sad and just having a hard time. And you were seeing that play out in the choices that people make. And I think the best way to rebuild trust is to, number one, have self-awareness around what you want.

And then two, just figure out how you can get some small wins. Because for the longest time, I knew I needed to lose a bunch of weight, for instance. I knew I wasn't happy, I wasn't healthy, that I was wearing like, I forget, like the size pants I was wearing at my, the height, I don't know if it was like 38 or 30, I forget. But I didn't think I could lose the 50 pounds

because I had just shown no ability to lose any weight at that time. And so when I focused on I need to lose 50 pounds, that became so overwhelming that I was like, there's no way I'm going to be able to achieve this. It wasn't until I was like, all right, I'm just going to focus on losing a few pounds. I'm just going to focus on making small choices.

And then believe it or not, people think that they get so confident, they get more confident if they lose the 50. You get way more confident once you lose those first few because few, because I think your, your level of confidence, it's all relative. Like somebody who hasn't been able to lose weight for years and you finally lose like two pounds, it's going to be a big confidence boost for somebody. Be a really big confidence boost. It's kind of like the person that hasn't been able to like sleep. And then they finally get like a good night's sleep, one good night's sleep, not months, one.

And they're like, holy crap, I feel so much better. I want to keep doing this thing. And I just think that's what's missing in the health and wellness space. Not to say that certain things aren't important. Not to say that eating a lot of protein isn't important because surely it is, not to say that reducing processed foods isn't important because it surely is, but we've known that for a long time. Even with all the diet tribes and with all the information out there, I would say the average person knows that eating stuff in a box probably isn't the best for them. The average person knows that. But why haven't people decided to stop eating it? Well, I think it comes back to what we talked about earlier is maybe people are making choices that they're not even aware of. And there are a lot of people are eating

to manage stress and comfort. Self-medicate. Yeah. And there are also the headlines and the verbiage is lose weight fast or lose you know, lose 50 pounds or do this, do that. It's like this complete overhaul where you're asking somebody who was at like level zero in their health journey to go to level 100 within like a few months. And it's like, all right, how do we just take you from like level zero to level one, level one to level two, and then slowly build confidence along the way? Because it's a. And you can make a lot of progress with somebody in a year, but the problem is people try to condense what they do in a year until like two weeks, and they just fall flat on their face. Well, and if people don't see quick results, then they get discouraged and oftentimes fall

off the wagon. Not always, but it is. It's hard because it's a long process. I want to ask you before we wrap up, for people listening, if there's someone struggling right now, whether it be with a drug addiction or maybe they're in a deep, dark hole right now, or maybe a food addiction, whatever it is, what would be your advice on where they should start? It's a tough one. I mean, I think it all comes back to self-awareness. You really have to develop a deep emotional why, like reason as to why you're going to make a change or stop something.

I know that might sound cliche because I think that the term to find your why and develop your why gets used almost as much as keto. But I digress. No, I'm kidding. It is helpful, though. I think it's helpful. No, it is. But here's why.

Because it's easy when you're feeling super motivated and good during that initial phase. So let's just say somebody right now is listening and they're like, all right, I'm done. I've had enough. And they're in this phase of like, I got to get through this or I'm going to stop now. I'm going to call a friend. I'm going to call somebody. I'm going to go to a meeting. And then cool.

They're good for a few days. But then what happens when that initial high wears off or something comes up in their life? Maybe their partner is like, you know what? I hate to tell you this, but I've had enough of your shit. And even though you're trying to make your life better, I'm leaving. Now what? Or something comes up with a job. I mean, I can go on with these different examples of stuff that happens throughout this process. process and you got to develop like, all right, like, what is it? Is your, is your why? Because you don't want to repeat a pattern of what happened with your parents is the why? Because you just want to love, you want to prove to yourself that you deserve it and that you love yourself or that you want to save your marriage or that you want to do it for your kid, whatever,

like whatever it is aligned with you. Because if your marriage or that you want to do it for your kid, like whatever, like whatever it is aligned with you. Because if your reason for getting sober or to stop drinking is just to stop drinking or because somebody else is telling you to, you'll never make it. You really have to do it for yourself and really get clear on why you're doing something and just take small steps, like reach out,

ask for help, know that you're not alone, find community, find support, get moving. I tell people all the time that fitness, nutrition, getting healthy is the most underutilized tool there is for addiction, in my opinion. Because you have to get to a point where you're not just sober, but you're improving your life, you're improving your outlook, you're improving your self-confidence. And I think the quickest way to do that is through fitness. I love that. That's great advice. So I ask all of my podcast guests this question,

what are your health non-negotiables? So these are things either on a daily basis or a weekly basis that you prioritize no matter how crazy your day is because they are beneficial to your health. What are the things I prioritize? Definitely resistance training. I love what resistance training does for my, not just my physical health, but my mental health. I feel like the gym is the perfect personal development place because you have to A, get comfortable, B, uncomfortable. B, you got to push through

things when they're hard. So when I'm lifting a weight and it's super hard, if comfortable, B, uncomfortable. B, you got to push through things when they're hard. So when I'm like lifting a weight and it's super hard, like if I just say, I'm quitting, then I mean, then the weight will either come down on me or I won't hit my target rep range. And I think that's just a good parallel to life. I know it's funny because in the gym, like if you want to build a bigger bicep, you literally have to train your biceps to failure.

You have to progressively overload and lift more weights or do more sets, do have to train your biceps to failure. You have to progressively overload and lift more weights or do more sets, do more reps in order for it to grow. And the same thing kind of comes in life. Like in order to become a better human, sometimes you have to put yourself out there and you have to fail. You have to do things that didn't work out or didn't go your way. And you have to like think, figure out like, okay, what did I learn from this? How am I going to grow from this? And then your wisdom gets bigger, your mental strength gets bigger, your emotional strength gets bigger and you become a bigger person. And so resistance training is a staple for me because of that. And then just eating like mostly whole foods. I mean, I would

say I eat well, like 80 to 90% of the time now. And it's not because, it's really not a weight management thing like it used to be. It's more now just because of how I feel. I just, I don't feel well when I eat a lot of processed foods. I just don't, I can't, I know there's some people who can do it and feel fine. I just, my body just doesn't tolerate them well.

And I think that the biggest thing I do for my health, which I think is the most important, is I'm not hard on myself like I used to be. I used to be so hard on myself, Courtney, and it would cost me so much because I wouldn't do certain things because I was afraid that I would fail or I would mess up and I would beat myself up so much

or I was a perfectionist. And what I've learned is I just do the best I can with what I have and I just keep showing up and I would beat myself up so much or I was a perfectionist. And what I've learned is I just do the best I can with what I have and I just keep showing up and showing up and showing up. And I think that's an important life lesson for people is that even though you might not be feeling your best that day, just don't beat yourself up, just give it the best you can. I love that. I think that's a great way to end the episode.

So can you tell everyone listening where they can find you? Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me on. And if people want to learn more about me, they can go to DougBobst.com, which is my site. If they want to follow me on social media, I'm most active on Instagram at Doug Bobst. And then the podcast is called the Adversity Advantage Podcast, which you can find wherever you get your podcasts, YouTube, Spotify, Apple, that sort of thing. And again, I appreciate you having me on. This was a fun conversation. Yeah, I really enjoyed this a lot.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for listening to today's episode of The Real Foodology Podcast. If you liked this episode, please leave a review in your podcast app to let me know. This is a resident media production produced by Drake Peterson and edited by Chris McCone. The theme song is called Heaven by the amazing singer Georgie, spelled with a J. Love you guys so much. See you next week. The content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and doesn't constitute a provider patient relationship.

I am a nutritionist, but I am not your nutritionist. As always, talk to your doctor or your health team first.