Realfoodology - Why Kegels Aren’t Enough: Improving Pelvic Floor Health
Episode Date: September 16, 2025267: As women, our pelvic floor is so important - but because it’s seen as a taboo topic, very few people are comfortable talking about why. But not MaryEllen Reider! She co-founded Yarlap, a device... that does your kegels for you. MaryEllen explains why these are important, and empowers women everywhere to get comfortable with the uncomfortable questions so they can feel better all around! Topics Discussed: → What damages your pelvic floor + age’s impact → Tools and techniques for strengthening your pelvic floor → How to finally stop leaks while working out → Why Kegel exercises aren’t one size fits all solution → The “Oxford Test” and what it reveals → The link between a strong pelvic floor and better sex Sponsored By: → Function | My 1000 followers get a $100 credit toward their membership! Visit https://www.functionhealth.com/realfoodology or use code REALFOODOLOGY100. → Vimergy | New customers can save 20% off their first order at https://www.vimergy.com with code REALFOODOLOGY20. → Paleovalley | Save at 15% at https://www.paleovalley.com/realfoodology and use code REALFOODOLOGY. → CURED | My listeners get an exclusive 20%-off discount! Subscribe for Night Caps today and never miss a solid night’s sleep. Visit https://www.curednutrition.com/realfoodology and use code REALFOODOLOGY at checkout. → BIOptimizers | For 15% off go to https://www.bioptimizers.com/realfoodology and use promo code REALFOODOLOGY. → Everyday Dose | You can now find Everyday Dose in Target stores across the country. Celebrate with a Buy-One-Get-One deal! Just buy any two Everyday Dose products at a Target store near you, and they’ll pay you back for one. Details at https://www.everydaydose.com/REALFOODOLOGYBOGO. Timestamps: → 00:00 - Introduction → 06:10 - MaryEllen’s Background + Yarlap Origins → 11:27 - Pelvic Floor → 20:40 - Strengthening + Tools → 35:39 - How Yarlap Works → 41:40 - Sex: Improving Orgasms, Reducing Pain & Eliminating Taboos → 48:15 - Begin Your Journey Show Links: → NHS | Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor → WebMD | Urinary Incontinence Guide → Business insider | Benefits of a Stronger Pelvic Floor Check Out: → Yarlap | Instagram Check Out Courtney: → LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE → Check Out My new FREE Grocery Guide! → @realfoodology → www.realfoodology.com → My Immune Supplement by 2x4 → Air Dr Air Purifier → AquaTru Water Filter → EWG Tap Water Database Produced By: Drake Peterson
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On today's episode of the Real Foodology podcast.
So you feel the muscles moving.
Like it feels like a firm handshake.
Some people say it feels like butterflies.
And some people are like, no, it just feels like a muscle movement.
So everybody has a different sensation.
But it's extremely comfortable.
And you feel the muscles physically moving inside of you.
It doesn't vibrate.
It doesn't make any noises.
It's not an adult toy.
It literally just goes in and it's like, hey, muscles, hi, welcome to the party.
We're going to work out for like 20 months.
minutes and then bye. Hi, welcome back to another episode of the Real Foodology podcast. I'm your
host, Courtney Swan, and I am so happy that you're here. I've been kind of on a role lately talking
about women's health, and this is another episode where we dive deep into that. I bring on a woman,
Mary Ellen Ryder, who is the co-founder of this really cool device that I actually never knew existed.
It's called the Yarlap, and it's a Kegel exercise device, and essentially it does all the
work for you, and I'm going to let her explain it all, so you'll have to listen to the episode to
hear more about it. But we talk all about female incontinence, painful sex, better orgasms,
just all you want to know about the pelvic floor. This is a conversation that I feel is not
had enough. I think it's safe to say that pretty much everyone has heard.
of the pelvic floor and vaguely knows about it and what it is. But I feel like the conversation
kind of stops there. There's a lot of, I don't know if it's like shame or taboo, but I kind of feel
like a lot of people, we just aren't taught enough about this because we're scared to talk about
it. And part of what my mission is is to normalize conversations like this because we all have
those parts, and it shouldn't be shameful, and we should be empowered to ask our doctor questions
or talk about this with our friends and get to the bottom of it, get the information so that then
we have an action plan and we know what to do about it so that we can better our health,
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not meant to suffer, at least to the extent that we are in our health. And I believe that for the
most part, there's usually a solution and we shouldn't be scared to ask questions and
dive into different things that are going on with our body. So we go into that and this is a
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Well, let's just go into it.
Thank you so much for coming on today.
How are you doing?
Thank you for having me.
It's going to be so fun.
I know.
I'm really excited to have this conversation.
So when you emailed me, I was like,
like, oh man, I'm so excited to have you on because I, being a woman, it's kind of embarrassing to
admit this, but I don't really know much of anything about my pelvic floor. So let's, well,
okay, before we go into the pelvic floor, why don't you tell everyone your background what you do?
Great. So my name is Mary Ellen Reeder, and I am one of the co-founders of Yarla, which is a
pelvic floor muscle stimulator device that is FDA cleared. And my other co-founder is my dad.
So it's a father-daughter situation.
Yeah.
We're going to have to go into that.
Everybody's always like, wait, how does that work?
So yeah, he and I do yarl out together.
And I was doing internship work for women for women international.
So I was really into women's wellness, women's rights, that kind of a situation.
And my dad is a medical device engineer.
So he has designed devices that are used.
and like the national health care systems in France and Great Britain and Scandinavia and Germany
for postpartum help. So it's kind of like what the Yarlap does. But there was nothing really
available to women here in the U.S. And so we had this thing where it's like I'm obsessed
with talking about all things women's wellness. We have this background that we can bring
something really, really great to women here. And why don't we just do that?
that together and kick ass at the same time.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Okay, so that's how you ended up working with your dad.
Because when you said that, I was like, I would never want to have a conversation
about my pelvic floor with my dad.
Also, sorry if dad's listening.
No, I think that that's how, like, most people are, because most people are like,
isn't that weird to talk about, like, your pelvic floor?
And then we talk about, like, what the pelvic floor does in, like, the sexual world,
intimacy, health, and that situation, people are, like, mortified that I would ever talk
about that kind of stuff with my dad.
And I'm always telling people like, I don't actively talk about that kind of stuff with my dad.
Usually it's like business situation stuff that we're talking and discussing.
And it's like pelvic floor health is just like a huge aspect of it.
But like I don't go into like in depth the detail of anything with him when it comes to like my personal pelvic floor.
But also when I was growing up, my dad was like parts or parts.
They have proper names and you should use them.
So it was never like hoo-ha, pee-pee, or anything like that.
It was like, this is the vagina, this is a penis, this is a bova, all these other things.
Yes. Yes, Dad.
Yes. And so when I was like going through school and people were like, people were saying like,
you're Coochie or your cookie or whatever. And I was like, what? I don't even know what any of this means.
Like, do I nickname it myself? Do I have to adopt her nickname? Like, her nickname. I don't know how this works.
because we were just brought up to think parts or parts.
They have proper names.
If something is wrong with it, like if there's discomfort or there's anything with that,
you talk to somebody about it.
Like there is no shame no matter where on the body it is.
And I'm extremely grateful because I think it's not very common.
Like my story is not very common.
No.
I want it to be.
But I don't think that a lot of people have that luxury where like their dad was the one
that they went to for their period.
Like, I went to my dad when I got my period.
Wow.
Yeah, so it's great.
I love it, but it's definitely different.
Yeah, but that's so cool.
I just want to say kudos to your dad because I feel like that.
I mean, that is the way to do it, you know?
And I think I'm pretty sure parents are now doing that because I have friends that have kids now
and they're kind of on that same track of being like, we don't want to create any shame.
We want to make sure that they feel comfortable in their own bodies and they're okay
to come and talk to us about stuff.
And I think that's so important.
That's such an important part of parenting, I think, is creating, cultivating, yeah, cultivating that safe environment.
And also not like, I don't want to say lying to kids, but not kind of like fluffing things and making them make up these names.
And then, you know, they come to find out later when they grow up, they're like, okay, that was, why was I calling my vagina a cookie?
You know, like, why weren't we just like using the proper terms?
Because then it creates, like you said, shame around it.
And we don't want anyone to feel shame around their body.
I feel like it perpetrates that, like, taboo where it's like, you're not supposed to talk about it.
There is this, like, secret language that you're supposed to use, and that's okay to use, and that's okay to talk about.
But you should not use, like, penis and vagina.
And I'm like, no.
No.
There should be no shame or stigma or embarrassment ever.
Yes.
Call it by the same.
And it shouldn't be taboo to talk about this kind of stuff either.
Exactly.
I mean, everyone has these parts.
Everyone has a penis or a vagina, and we all use them.
We like to have fun with them.
So why do we make them out to be so taboo and, like, secret and hush, hush?
Yeah, exactly.
Let's talk about why should everyone care, like, or why should women care about the pelvic floor?
Let's talk about it a little bit.
Yeah, so I fell into the pelvic floor, not physically, like, not literally, but this is definitely not something that I wanted or I ever saw myself.
Exactly. I never saw myself doing this, like marketing, doing a company, co-founding company
on an area that is taboo, stigmatized. And there is a lot of information that I feel like
I didn't know until I co-founded the company, that I feel like I should have known long before.
So your pelvic floor muscles, everybody's got one. Everybody's got one. But we hear about it more
often with women because we go through more things in life that can create pressure, trauma,
or atrophy on our pelvic floor muscles. So your pelvic floor muscles, if you're a visual
learner like me, you can think of it kind of like a hammock and they zigzag from your pubic
bone to the base of your spine. And it's kind of like a foundation. It holds your bladder,
your uterus and those visceral organs into their natural position. So your hammock is holding
all these things naturally.
If you have weakening of those pelvic floor muscles through atrophy, you never used
them, you went through like childbirth pregnancy or something like that where they've weakened.
It tends to, the hammock will sag and then everything that was on top of it will shift and your
bladder tends to be at the very bottom of that pyramid.
And so when you laugh, sneeze, cough or something like that, it pushes on the bladder and you
involuntarily pee yourself. And a lot of people believe that they're alone, that like this only
affects them, it's just a part of aging, it's just a part of being a woman, it's just yada, yada,
those are all myths. Like it has absolutely nothing to do with your age. It has nothing to do
with anything besides the tone of your pelvic floor. And that can hit at any age. It doesn't
matter who you are, what age you are, what size, it doesn't matter. Tone of the pelvic
floor varies. Okay. And so let's say that you have not had a kid yet, but you're dealing
with, like, what would you call, like a weakened pelvic floor? What would maybe be the cause of
that? There are so many. So I feel like for women, it's just so much easier to say, like, what doesn't
cause a weakened pelvic floor? But, like, repetitive motion. So, like, running. People who are
athletic. If you do a lot of working out, they tend to forget about the pelvic floor because,
one, we forget that it even exists. Or two, it's just really hard to isolate and work out those
muscles. So repetitive motion, running, squats, anything like that can help weaken the pelvic floor
just because it's repetitive pressure. Childbirth, pregnancy are big ones, which is why you see a lot
of women who have had kids and then all of a sudden they're like, I pee myself. I guess this is just
part of the motherhood club. And it's like, no, no, no, no. Your pelvic floor went through something
very intense. It just needs a little like tender love and care. And there can be. Well, you always
hear those stories, sorry, of women in exercise classes, like doing jump rope or something and they like
pee their pants. Exactly. Exactly. And there's a lot of people who will take themselves out
of that situation. So like it will be so detrimental or like it'll be such a big obstacle in their
routine that they'll just take it out. And they'll be like, I'm no longer working in groups.
settings. I'm no longer wearing anything besides black. I'm not going to go and leave my house
for more than like a few hours at a time. When I plan road trips, I have to plan out where
every single bathroom is. And it's like, don't let that control your life. Talk to somebody like
you're a doctor or him ever and regain that tone. Find a tool. Maybe it might be Yarlap. Maybe it's
not. But find a tool that will help you regain that tone. So you're not facing your whole life.
around this issue.
But yeah, for women, and age is a common one because hormones or weight or whatever you have
can be a factor within that.
And I think that because women in our society were conditioned to believe that this is just
the way things are, that we kind of tend to fall into that mindset when it comes to pelvic
floor issues, that like, this is just the way it is.
this is the way we have to live now, this is the new normal, I don't want to talk about it,
it's a stigmatized topic, and I'm over here, like, in a corner with a megaphone, like,
don't believe that.
Stop it.
Well, it's horrible.
Yeah, well, because then you add on top of that the taboo of talking about it, and then
no one wants to even talk about it and ask their doctor, admit that it's happening to them.
So I love that.
For anyone listening that's dealing with this, it's, I don't know, should we say it's common,
but there's something that you can do about it.
and you shouldn't be ashamed of it.
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Yeah, it's common.
One in three women in the United States will have some form of urinary incontinence in their life,
which is a mind-blowing statistic.
Because we all know. And the thing is, you think about it, you're like, wait, hold on, I know
somebody who knows somebody or everybody knows somebody who has this. And they're like, oh, maybe that
statistic is not so intense. But it really, really is when you think about it that, like, it is
treatable most of the time. But we don't want to talk about it or admit that we have that problem.
Yeah. Okay. Well, let's talk about that. How is it treatable? And what are different things that people
can do to strengthen it. Yeah, so usually I'm always telling everybody, like, talk to your doctor,
open up that conversation, but I know a lot of people don't have that luxury, and I know a lot of
people don't want to do that, and I respect that. If you do have a weakened pelvic floor muscle
and you have been told by a licensed healthcare professional to do a Kagle exercise, that's your route.
A big thing is that most people tend to believe that a cagle exercise is a one-size-fit-all.
So they think pelvic floor dysfunction no matter what I will do a cagle and it'll fix it.
And that's not true.
If you have a tightened pelvic floor, like a hypertoned pelvic floor where it's clenched all the time,
clenching it with a pelvic floor exercise like a cagle is not going to be your best bad.
You want to learn how to relax those muscles.
Okay, let me stop you right there. So what, I've never heard that. So some people, some women have
it where they're clenching all the time. Yeah. Oh, I've heard that. Constantly clenched. It's constantly
activated. And for some people that can be, that can lead to really painful sex.
Okay. Some people just say that from, is that from stress? Like why, or do we know what?
There are so many reasons why. And I don't think that there is one true point as to
why that muscle is consistently clenched. It can be a physical factor. It could be a mental
situation. It really depends person to person, which is why I always tell everybody, like if you can
and if you have the ability to talk to your doctor, do so because it is unique and it does vary
person to person. So one size, one exercise for everybody is not realistic. It's not true.
So I just, everybody's like, well, I've been told to do Kagle exercises.
Maybe this is what I should do.
And if that's the case, the RLEP is a phenomenal tool to have because engaging those
muscles like we were talking about, they're deep inside of you.
And so really the one way to find it is to do an, it's called the Oxford test, kind of intimate
and a little weird, but it's to stick a finger into your vagina and see if you're
you can grasp and hold the finger.
If you have that control to do so,
you probably have some kind of control of those muscles.
If you're unable to do so, it could be just atrophy.
There's just, that signals jumbled or lost, and that's okay.
It just takes a little bit more time to regain that control.
And you want to have a really good tool like the Yarlap to guide you into that
because you're a little bit more lost.
And that's okay.
That's fine.
I think that people tend to get really intimidated by the fact that it is an intimate area.
And so they're afraid that they'll be told there's nothing they can do about it,
that it's something really weird, that they'll be made a butt of the joke or something like that.
But I really want everybody, regardless of what age you are, to know that.
it's not something to be embarrassed about.
No one's going to look at you and be like, this is irreversible, you're screwed.
No one's going to tell that to you because it's not true.
And so I just, I think that for some people, that mental barrier of like actually admitting
there's an issue is a really, really, really big hurdle, but don't be intimidated by it.
Yeah, this is so important for people to hear because it's just empowering anyone that's
having this sort of issue to just speak up about it and invest.
into, you know, why it's going on and how you can fix it. And it sounds like, okay, so there's
a couple different, I want to go back a little bit into people listening what they can do.
So obviously, first go to your doctor, figure out if you have the clenching issue or if it's more
of, would it just be like the muscles being weakened down there? Yeah. So you can just have,
like, you need to get tone, you need to either do pelvic floor relaxation exercises or you need to
do clenching exercises like a cagle. And,
And it's really difficult, again, to isolate those muscles. So a quick one, do not do this often
because it is, you don't want to do it often. A lot of people will be like, oh, I'm going to stop
midstream. If you can stop midstream, you kind of engage those muscles a little bit. But you
don't want to do that constantly. That is not recommended. Yeah, don't do it. Don't stop midstream.
Okay. But a lot of places you'll see that written, like to do that as a, you know,
quick engagement, don't do that. That's not, you can do that maybe once, but don't to figure out
and to see where those muscles are. But I strongly, strongly recommend do not do that frequently.
Okay. For your health. So what, what about yoni balls? Remember when Gwenitha Paltrow was selling,
it was like this whole, the whole rage on the internet for a second there, she was selling this really
expensive ball essentially that you would put up your vagina that helps tone it. And I have a very
funny story of a girlfriend wearing a couple of them when we went out one night dancing and was in
the bathroom and one, they were metal balls and dropped one in the toilet and it made the loudest
clink. Like everyone in the bathroom, it was like everyone went like dead silent and was like,
uh, what the hell was that? Is she okay?
And she just left it there because she was like,
there's no way in hell I'm going to dig through this public toilet to get this out.
So, yeah, I would leave it.
I would leave it too.
Yes.
Those are, so the thing is, is I'm a big proponent of any tool when it comes to toning your pelvic floor.
I think getting what you need is really, really important.
It is very important that you know that you engage your pelvic floor.
So a lot of the time when you do have certain things like,
that, like the yoni balls, weighted balls, is that they are good for engaging the pelvic
floor, but they don't have a, they don't have the technology to show you if you're actually
engaged in the pelvic floor, or if you're using your butt, your abs, or any other muscle group
to actually keep those held inside of you. Because when you're doing a cagle, for instance,
well over 50% of women who try to do them can't do them properly, even with written instruction.
They're really hard to do.
So it's easy to say, in theory, it's harder to do in practice because we end up compensating
with other muscle groups.
So for me, at YAR lab, it's really important that we know that you are sending a signal
directly to the pelvic floor, the entire pelvic floor, to do everything for you instead of,
of going in and guessing and hoping that you're using the pelvic floor.
Okay. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, that's a great point. So how does one figure out that they're
using the pelvic floor? Really difficult. So yoga is really good at this.
Okay. Yoga and Pilates are really, really great at discussing and engaging the pelvic floor
muscles. They have a lot of exercises where you will be posed and you have to engage and pull up the
pelvic floor and that's basically an exercise in itself because you're engaged in the full
entirety of the pelvic floor. So if you're wondering, I would strongly recommend doing yoga. There is
also this theory where if you're sitting up straight and you have a piece of strength from the
base of your pelvic floor all the way to the top of your head and you can like imagine you're pulling
it up and try to engage some muscles as like you're pulling a piece of string up. But again,
these muscles are deeply isolated. You can't see them. So it's really hard for me to be like,
well, this is how you properly do them. Because I'm not physically there to guide you,
and I can't physically show you what's happening internally. Yeah. I mean, and I have to admit,
so, you know, as a woman, I've heard most of my life, do your Kegel exercises, make sure you
keep your pelvic floor strong. I've always been pretty intimidated by it because, I mean,
basically of what you're saying right now is I kind of have always been like,
don't know, am I doing this right? This is kind of weird.
Like, feels kind of, like, not weird, but like, feels awkward in my body because I'm not
really sure what I'm doing.
How, what would be your advice to someone like me that's intimidated to, like, even go down
this path of trying to figure this out?
Don't be intimidated and just try it.
Because even if you try it, you might hit something, right?
It's better than to try than do nothing at all.
And so for me, weakening starts, weakening could start in your 20s.
because we just don't engage them.
We don't know how to do that.
And when we've been told, we're like,
well, we don't have that problem now.
So I can just, like, kind of ignore that until, like, need to.
Prevention is key and everything in life.
Yes.
And so, but it's hard to do an exercise when you're like,
I don't even know what body part I'm supposed to be using.
And so I think that that's why a lot of tools like balls,
YAR lap, whatever else is out there,
is really important because they start.
you on a path. They start you and they're trying to show you what to do, where those muscles are
and to build it into your routine. Because once you get it into a routine, it almost becomes second
nature. Yeah. And so I think those tools are really, really important. And they've only become
popular, I would say, very, very recently. Before that, I think it was really hard to find any tool
to really engage those muscles
because there was just nothing out there.
Like you were basically told,
here's a pamphlet, have fun, good luck.
And now there are, it's like,
yeah, now there's these tools
that can go along with those pamphlets.
But for people who have it
and want to maintain it,
I would strongly suggest
looking up how to do those exercises properly.
Okay.
And try to do them on your own.
And if you have absolutely no idea what you're doing or you're kind of getting frustrated,
you can look at the Yarlap or look at whatever else is out there as well.
Just be very careful because, again, you're putting it into your vagina.
So get something that you really trust.
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details. Again, that's Everydaydose.com slash Real Foodology Bogo. Yeah, well, then let's talk about
that a little bit. So what exactly is this device that you keep mentioning? Yeah. So, so
the Yarlapp is basically my baby. It is an FDA-cared medical device to treat urinary incontinence
and maintain tone of the pelvic floor muscles. Amazing. So what it does is it's basically the size
of a tampon, a little bit thicker. You insert it into the vagina, and what it does is it sends a very
gentle signal into your muscles to do the exercises for you. Both there are exercises to tone it.
There's also exercises to relax them.
And I think that that's really key because total pelvic floor control is the ability to not only clench on command, but also to relax on command.
So the Yarlat teaches you to do both of those.
And I think that that's what we really are very unique in is that we bring both of those options to the table.
And it's also nice because you can sit and watch TV or lie down or whatever and you don't have to think about it.
It just does everything for you.
You just turn it on, basically.
It reminds me of that, oh, God, I don't even remember what they're called,
but there was that, like, ab workout thing you could get.
It would, like, do your ab workout for you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the R-Lap.
Everybody always says that they're like, oh, it's kind of like the thing that does your workout
for you.
I'm like, yes, but in your vagina.
You're like, and this thing actually works.
Yes.
And we're very proud about what we do, because like I said,
It just takes all that guess workout of, am I doing it properly?
Am I using the right muscles?
Am I doing it the right work rest ratio?
Because that's also really important.
You don't want to be clenched for like 20 minutes straight.
You don't want to clench for as long as you possibly can.
You want to clench for about anywhere between three to 10 seconds have time.
So it's like small pulses.
Okay.
And I think that that's also another thing is people tend to think of a kegel as just like a bench press kind of
where you do like one massive one and then you're done,
where you can only handle a very few amount,
it's actually small quick pulses for like multiple minutes.
Okay, I'd never heard that.
And as far as, so with this device, I'm sorry, is it Yarrow Lab?
How do you say it?
Yar Lap, Y-A-R-L-A-P.
Y-A-R-L-A-P.
Yeah.
What does it feel like?
Do you feel the, like, vibration?
Okay.
So you feel the muscles moving.
Like, it feels like a firm hand.
shake. Some people say it feels like butterflies and some people are like, no, it just feels like a muscle
movement. So everybody has a different sensation, but it's extremely comfortable and you feel the
muscles physically moving inside of you. It doesn't vibrate. It doesn't make any noises. It's not an
adult toy. It literally just goes in and it's like, hey, muscles, hi, welcome to the party. We're going to
work out for like 20 minutes and then bye. That's amazing. So you can use it in front of other people and
they don't even know. You're just chilling watching TV and you're doing your vagina.
to work out.
Exactly.
We had a woman who actually used it on an airplane once.
Oh my God.
She was like, I have nothing else to do.
So I'm just going to get it over with today.
I mean, that's genius.
And used it.
And then that was it.
That's amazing.
Okay, wow, that's so cool.
I didn't even know anything like this existed.
So that's a great option for people.
And I'm very intrigued in trying that.
For those listening that are just like, okay, I am brand new to this.
I'm not ready to commit to a device yet.
What are some things that maybe people can get started on now?
Or maybe where can they find good resources online to show them how to do the Kegles property?
How do you say it?
Kegles or Kegels?
Kegels.
So I actually got called out by the woman, not girl.
The woman who helped found the G spot.
I was speaking to her and I was telling her about it.
And I was like, oh, and they do Kegles for you.
And she's like, it's actually Kegels.
I did not know that mortified. I was so embarrassed. I was like, this is my job and I just pronounced half of it wrong to like this woman who is an icon and I can't believe I just did that. So I, it is forever burned in my memory as Kegles just from like that one like two second frame in my past like forever ingrained in my mind. But it's Kegles. I bet. Okay, Kegels. I've been saying it wrong too.
I had been saying it wrong for like 20 odd years, so totally fine.
For people who are like, I'm just finding out about the pelvic floor, I want to learn more about it.
We have a bunch of resources on our website that are really great that you can look at on our blog.
WebMD actually has a lot of great things.
Don't diagnose yourself.
Do not self-diagnose.
I am so guilty of that.
I'm so guilty of that.
You can't do that.
Don't ever do that.
Yeah, we're recovering WebMD, like self-diagnoser. Do not do that. It's going on a dark path.
Exactly. So there's a lot of great information on that. The NHS website over in the UK also has a great fountain of knowledge on it.
Amazing. And we'll put all this in the show notes too. So if you want to send me those links. Cool.
And also, in style did a magazine article.
We were in it, but it was about urinary incontinence and what it does.
That was a really, really great piece.
It's very informative.
And Women's Health Magazine also has quite a few articles based on this subject, too.
So, yeah, the WebMD1 has how to do the exercises.
so you can see them properly and try to do them on your own and self-engage. That's also a really
great starting point as well. Okay, great. Well, that's really, that's good. Great resources.
So I have a question, and I'm sure a lot of people have this question as well. I've heard that
strengthening your pelvic floor can actually make sex better, improve your orgasms. Is this true?
Yes. So we always see, we always see like these exercises are like, do this one exercise to be
fantastic in bed, right? Like, we've all seen it and we've all clicked on it. And then we've
tried to do the exercise for like 20 seconds and then we forget about it until like the next time
we see a headline. And it actually is to tone your pelvic floor muscles. So when you have an
orgasm, you know the contraction feeling that you have. Yeah. That's actually your pelvic floor muscle.
Oh, interesting. So yeah. So when you're having an orgasm, you're engaged in those pelvic floor muscles.
you're doing an exercise. That's really great, you guys.
Good job. So when you're doing a kegle and you're learning to do them and you're gaining that muscle memory,
your body kicks in to know how to do those muscle exercises, how to do those movements,
how to do them bigger, better, and stronger, right? And your clitoris runs right along the pelvic floor muscles.
Your clitoris is kind of like an iceberg. You see 20% of it in the gland.
and then there's like 80% that's hidden inside of you.
It's wild. I've heard that. Yeah.
So your clitoris runs right along that pelvic floor muscle.
And when you are having sex, that's engaged, your pelvic floor muscle starts to contract
and your clitoris is engaged and your muscle memory kicks in and goes, we know how to do this.
We know how to do it bigger, better, faster, stronger.
And to have this like mind-blowing orgasm.
because your muscle memory kicks in and remembers what to do and how to do it because of these
exercises. And your clitoris is running right along that. So everything in there is just being
engaged all at once. Everything is happening all at once. Amazing. Okay, well, so could there possibly
be, if a woman's having a hard time orgasming, could that possibly be a sign that maybe she needs to
work on her pelvic floor muscles, would that be connected in that way? Okay. Yeah, you can look at it.
I'm not saying like that's a, that's, that's the one key. That's it. No, yeah. But it's something to
explore. It could be a factor. And that's something, again, doctor. And I know that that's incredibly
taboo where you're like going to your doctor. I'm like, I'm not going to talk to my doctor about an
orgasm. But do. Like, why wouldn't you? Yeah. Or seek out a sex therapist. I know people that
have done that.
Sex therapists are awesome.
Yes.
So if you don't feel maybe comfortable talking about it with your doctor, seek out a sex
therapist.
Yeah.
Because they're very well trained to talk about all of this and make you feel very
comfortable about it.
I mean, that's the whole thing is if any, if people come away with this episode with
one thing, it's that please do not be ashamed to talk about these kind of things.
This is your body.
This is your life.
You want to get the most out of life.
Sex is fun.
you don't want to be having to worry about peeing your pants or whatever, you know,
like if you're dealing with incontinence, whatever it is that you're dealing with,
just know that it's normal, but it's also fixable, just, you know,
and I want people to be empowered to talk about this and not be so ashamed.
Because like we said earlier, you know, it's become so taboo and it shouldn't be.
Yeah, it's just a part. In the end, it's just a part and it needs to have a little bit of love
and it needs to be fixed if it needs to. And there should be never,
guilt or shame or embarrassment because who cares? Yeah, who cares? In the end, it's about your
quality of life and take control of that. So I think that for women, it's really, really important
to be like, okay, I know what these muscles now are. I know what they do. If I have like X, Y,
and Z, maybe I should go and see a doctor, see if, see a sex therapist, see a physical therapist,
see somebody because it's not the carts that you were dealt. It's not just a new norm. It's not
anything that you're like, well, suck it up, sucks to suck. Yeah, it's not your fate as a woman to
suffer. We talked about this on a recent podcast of mine. And I think more specifically with women
and women's health, we're just taught that, oh, yeah, that's just a part of being a woman. You know,
it's just kind of your fate to suffer. Like, sorry, you're meant to suffer through life in these areas.
and it's actually not true.
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah.
I love that so much.
So you brought up something earlier that I want to touch on a little bit,
just because I know I've had girlfriends that have dealt with this,
and so I'm sure that there are listeners listening that want to know more.
Painful sex.
So what is something, if someone is experiencing that,
outside of, like, they absolutely should talk to their doctor about it,
but maybe we can send them down a path of maybe like some resources
or can we just talk about it a little bit,
how to kind of help them with that?
Yeah, so there are, when you're told to do pelvic floor relaxation,
again, that's like a really difficult thing to do
because we can't see these muscles.
We don't know what they're doing.
And again, for visual learners,
a lot of this, again, might be easier said than done,
but try, is to think of a rosebud completely before bloom, right?
It's up and then think of a relaxation and try to,
Think of your muscles as that rosebud and try to make that flower bloom and slowly relax your muscles as the flower blooms.
Okay.
I love that.
It's kind of different.
It's the exact opposite of the Kagle exercise, right?
Or you're clenching up.
We're trying to relax out.
And there are a lot of really great resources.
I'm happy to send them to you about that kind of a situation where it does deal with pelvic floor relaxation muscles.
Again, it's just the same boat of easier said than done.
Practice is way harder than theory.
And to get down that footpath, there are a lot of good resources,
and I'm happy to have a starting point for anybody who's like, that's me, that's my boat.
Where do I start?
Happy to send you some resources, so they have that point A.
Yes, I would love that.
We'll provide that also in the show notes just so that, yeah,
Yeah, so people can start going down that path and figuring it out.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Is there anything else that we haven't covered yet that you want the listeners to know about?
For women, I definitely feel like in society, we are basically just told suck it up.
Or like, don't say anything and be quiet.
And I think that's bullshit.
And I want to be part of like the people that tell everybody basically shove off and there are plenty of resources.
just it's a little daunting when you try to type it in on Google and find it yourself.
So happy to send good resources that are credible and put them in your show notes.
Yeah, I would love that.
And I'm sure people listening will very much appreciate that as well.
Well, this has been great.
Thank you so much for coming on.
Thank you so much for having me.
Thank you so much for listening to the Real Foodology podcast.
This is a Wellness Loud production produced by Drake Peterson.
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