Realfoodology - Your Fertility Isn’t Broken, But the System Might Be with Illie Pt. 2

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

261: Illie is back for part two! We’re getting real about her fertility journey, and how a very uncomfortable experience at the fertility clinic inspired her to take a more holistic approach to getting pregnant - and why she ultimately opted out of IVF.  If you loved part one, you have to hear this.  Topics Discussed: → The real tea on lead and heavy metals in food   → Affordable ways to get health testing   → What to test for if you’re having trouble getting pregnant  → The hormones that impact your fertility  → Why fertility isn’t always a marker of health  Sponsored By: → FPOO | Get your free $39 bottle for just $1 and taste the difference freshness makes at https://www.GetFresh324.com. → Lineage Provisions | Try their delicious beef tallow at https://www.lineageprovisions.com and use the code REALFOODOLOGY for 10% off.  → MASA Chips | Go to https://www.MASAChips.com/Realfoodology and use code Realfoodology for 25% off your first order. → CURED | Right now, CURED Nutrition is offering my listeners an exclusive 20% off Serenity Gummies with a monthly subscription. Just head to https://www.curednutrition.com/REALFOODOLOGY and use the code REALFOODOLOGY at checkout. → Paleovalley | Save at 15% at https://www.paleovalley.com/realfoodology and use code REALFOODOLOGY.  Timestamps:  → 00:00 - Introduction  → 03:48 - When Will The Food System Change?  → 07:26 - Lead and Heavy Metals   → 15:18 - Biomarker Testing  → 17:50 - Illie’s Fertility Journey  → 21:38 - What To Test For When You’re Trying → 31:43 - Fertility, IVF + Health   → 35:37 - Are Fertility Clinics Shady? Check Out: → Instagram | Iliriana Balaj  → Instagram | Live Healthillie Check Out Courtney:  →  LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE →  Check Out My new FREE Grocery Guide! →  @realfoodology →  www.realfoodology.com →  My Immune Supplement by 2x4 →  Air Dr Air Purifier →  AquaTru Water Filter →  EWG Tap Water DatabaseProduced By: Drake Peterson

On today's episode of the Real Foodology podcast. My body is prioritizing survival over fertility. Yeah. And now I have to just change my body to be like, no, like we're in a safe place. And like we can procreate. And I'm not forcing my body to do something that it clearly is not ready to do. Yeah. So it gives me a lot of peace in my journey that I'm not like in that desperate mode.

I'm like, I need to force a baby right now. Yeah. Like I can really just like live and like enjoy, you know. Hello, friends. Welcome back to another episode of the Real Foodology podcast, today's guest is a repeat guest and also a dear friend of mine, Ili Bala. You probably know her on Instagram as healthily towards the end. We talk about her fertility journey. So you're definitely going to want to stick around for that. And yeah, she's just amazing. I love I love Ellie so much.

And we just had so much fun recording this. So I hope you enjoy the episode as much as we enjoyed recording it. If you're loving the podcast, if you could take a moment to rate and review, it really does help the show a lot, and it takes about two seconds. Also, if you are enjoying this particular episode, and you want to tag me at Real Foodology and tag at Healthily, that's Health I-L-L-I-E, please do so. We'd love to see your tags, and we would love to repost you. So I hope you enjoy the episode. Thanks, y'all. This was a long episode, so we split this into two parts. This is part two. Like many of us, I'm eating healthier, and that's why I love good olive oil. And by good, I mean fresh. Olive oil packs the most flavor and healthiest nutrients when it's fresh from the farm.

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are pastured their entire lives, not just grass fed, but truly regenerative. It's the best possible life for the animal and it creates the best possible fat for your body. Go to lineage provisions.com and use the code real foodology for 10% off. I can't wait for you guys to become hooked like I am. Use code real foodology for 10% off. So this is what's so crazy about all this is like we have all these people fighting us. clearly the system is broken. I mean, 74% of Americans are obese, 50% of American children are obese, 77% of Americans between the ages of 17 and 24, I believe, are ineligible for military service. And then we have all these people online that are fighting us all, every step of the way as we're trying to make changes.

The thing is, we are in such a mess right now, y'all. We are not going to change all this overnight. No, we might even see it. To be honest, we might not even see it in our lifetime. I know, which is really crazy. Wake me from the dead. Recessitate me. Put me in ice. Like they did Disney. Austin Powers just freeze us and bring us back. Bring me back. If I could come back for anything, it's going to be that. Like, just bring me back so I could see the health revolution come to. Yeah, I don't think, that's the thing is it's going to be such a slow process.

And to be honest, if the next four years don't, like, radically change people's minds about health and, like, how we can really improve the health of our nation, then I don't think the four years after are going to be. of like support of that like this could actually be the only four years we see something like this you know and like i don't think people realize that so like all these people getting their freaking non-organic panties in a bunch don't realize that they're probably like this might be the last four years if we don't actually like i don't see another you know change happening if we don't have people this passionate you know like that's what's scary about it and people don't realize that it's actually so much harder than what they think it is you know um and what's so crazy

crazy is a lot of this could literally change overnight like we just put some policies in place and we get some of these additives out maybe we start following some of the science that you have to rework the system if we keep banning certain additives guess what brands have to change and they have to rework a system if those brands even want to survive in the industries that they're in right now like all these kids on you know even like i was looking at um because you can look up um the w i see like how like women and children get they have like their own like food stamps kind of, and you could look it up per state, you're not even allowed meat on, on those types of food stamps.

Really? And imagine, like, a mother with children, like, you have to use your own money to buy meat, but you know what is on there? Every cereal you could think of. Yeah, and probably Doritos, all the chips. Yeah, all this, like, all their garbage. And it's like, that's so sad because especially it's, like, we know, especially, like, maternal care in especially low-income communities is, like, nothing is practically nothing.

Like, it's just so understudied in general women's. health. And then on top of that, it's not even, to not even put any type of protein for like a postpartum mother. Yeah. That is a crime. It's literally criminal. No, it's like it's the most disgusting. So I looked up the one in Florida and it was, it was so, I'll have to send it to you, it was so sad. It was pathetic, honestly, to see some of the foods that there was barely even food. It's like most of it, there was a half the page was cereal. Of course. Half the page was cereal and obviously big name brands. Of course. And then a lot of it was obviously canned food, which makes sense canned food and frozen foods can be great, you know,

but to not have any type of meat on there. Well, but, Ellie, they're getting all their vitamins and minerals from the fortified cereal. Oh, my God, yeah, you're totally right. Yeah, I forgot about that. Reading my script. Oh, yes, that Mr. Kellogg gave me. Well, the science says. Yes, artificial dyes are a part of a nutritious.

That's how you know I was kidnapped. Yes, artificial dyes are part of a nutritious breakfast and lunch and now dinner. there will be signs if you get kidnapped yeah there will be signs if anyone's curious oh that's so funny um okay so i want to talk about there is this there is this like i don't even want to call it a movement but there is this thing happening online that i know is driving a you and i bonkers this obsession with lead in everything oh my gosh and there's two accounts there's one specifically that's really doing it look let me be very clear. Obviously, lead is something that we should be concerned about. But the beef that I have with this account is she's only testing all of the healthy food brands. Yeah. It almost feels like

it's this, she's like a plant. Because have you noticed that? I would love to see how much lead is in Doritos. Why are we only going after the healthy foods? And then everyone is so obsessed now. Every single time I post about Hugh Chocolate, my DMs are so flooded. I can't, I don't even open them anymore. Anytime I post about Hugh and then I get, I see I have all these DMs. I just see like, lead, lead, and I'm like, I'm not even going to open that. Yeah, I think it's funny because we already have people who are scared to eat kale and spinach because you have the carnivore people that are like, you're going to die from the oxalates

and you're going to, you can't eat a vegetable. And like, we already have that. And then we have now another thing that we have to worry about. It's like, I'll give you $1,000 to just test spinach and tell me how much, like, have metals are in a leaf of spinach because it's a lot. Yeah. And spinach is a freaking super food. Like you should be eating all your veggies. The thing is is that like heavy metals live just in the soil. Like that's where we've had heavy metals since the beginning of time. But the one thing that I always realize about these like brands in general is like these

people in general is they never talk about the synergy of like how like how nature works and how minerals work like literally synergistically. Like for example, tuna is very high in mercury. but it's also very high in selenium and selenium helps push out the mercury so you actually don't get poisoned by the tuna. Like our bodies are so smart in nature was made perfectly. So that's why you're going to see a lot of heavy metals and more natural

protein powders and protein bars and like more naturally created supplements and foods because that's just how synergistically minerals and heavy metals work together. Like I don't know. Did you do your function health? Yeah. I did my function health and I did an

HTML last year. Like my lead arsenic heavy metals are all so low consuming a lot of the things that they say I shouldn't be eating because I'm going to die from lead poisoning. Like if that's it, honestly, if I die from lead poisoning from chocolate, put it on my gravestone. Like, just do it, honestly. Because if that's really how I die, it was meant to be. Because the fact that they give zero education around why heavy metals exist, it's not always pesticides. Like, again, I work with manufacturers. I have products. I've seen hundreds of heavy metal analysis.

Like, I promise you, if we had a heavy metal analysis for every fruit and vegetable out there, people would have nothing to eat. We'd have nothing to eat. I'm not saying it's not a thing. It's definitely a thing, but it's just these people hyper fixate

on this one thing. And to be honest, it's not something that most people should even need to worry about or it's going to affect them. Go and get your heavy, go get your metals tested. Well, that's what I was doing.

do it. I just got mine. Mine were below zero. Me too. Mine are fine. The body is so smart. Imagine we all got poisoned by like things like protein powder. We'd cease to exist. Especially with how many garbage brands are out there. You know what I'm saying? Yes. I'd be dealing with it. The fake or the food, the less heavy metals most of the time. Usually the more PIFs, but the less heavy metals. Like a Doritos probably going to test low because there's no real food in it. That's true because it's all the processing exactly like, exactly. But usually it has more PIFs because that's a good point because of processing yeah yeah so i feel like just don't guess test so just get your blood work done every year and then if it is high because look like we're not minimizing it

like for example people do get high mercury from eating a lot of tuna like i literally have a friend that was just eating non-stop tuna all day and literally got and who's really high levels of mercury but also she was eating an insane amount of tuna and you also have to look at the yeah you also have to look at the rest of the diet like right like what other types of within It's crazy too because then you have like Mediterranean countries and even Asian countries where a majority of their food is seafood. Yeah. And they're not, you know, so it's like what else are they consuming that's helped mitigating the heavy metals? Like we cannot look at food and nutrition through a freaking straw.

You know, like we just cannot do that. That's like what you're doing by looking at food based on their heavy metal content. I know. Like we forget all the nutrition that's involved in a lot of these foods and that a lot of foods are just made perfectly, you know? And yeah, obviously if you're like butt chugging tuna all day, you're maybe going to get heavy metal like a little bit higher mercury but she's not going to die from it you know like there are ways to mitigate these things making sure your detox pathways are open like yeah i'm somebody i went through a phase of eating a lot of tune i've never had like i've never had an issue and that was literally when i did my function health and i had tests for like lead and mercury i didn't have anything like it's not like i'm getting poisoned by it you know and yeah it's just it's one of those things and honestly if you're following a page that's causing more fear in you like you every time you leave that page you leave with less things to eat, probably shouldn't follow that page. Yes.

You know, like, I'm not trying to like, I mean, I had to unfollow those posts. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you get people, too, in your things where like in your, like I said, in your DMs where you post chocolate and everyone's like, but then in the same breath, if you say that you don't eat ultra processed foods, you're like, oh my God, I can't believe you don't eat ultra processed foods, but then people are afraid of heavy metals and chocolate. No, it is. It's so crazy backwards. I can't.

I mean, you can't win, honestly. You can't win. And also, I literally do not have the bandwidth to be obsessing over all of this. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to go audit my pantry and check for every little thing that I eat that has lead in it. No. And also, like, my biological age is 17. So I'm only getting. Heyo, we're just getting started.

You know, like I'm fresh out of the womb. Yeah, I can't even get into the club. So. I'll sneakie out. I'll give you my fake ID. Thank you, Queen. Yeah, like I just, it's, yeah, like I'm clear. I'm healthy.

you're healthy. Yeah. Like I'm healthier now at 31 than I was at 21, like, period. And I was eating way more junk and I definitely didn't care about heavy metals. And like, I don't know. I just think it's one of those things where if you're leaving a page and it's leaving with more stress and more anxiety and less things to eat, are you really becoming healthier?

Yeah. You know, the average person isn't dying from lead poisoning. No. No, we're dying because we're not eating enough protein. We're not moving enough. We're not eating enough fiber. We're not even enough real food. Like we're not getting sun, we're like sedentary, like, yeah, that's why we're dying.

Yeah, those are the hard hitters. Those are the issues. That's what we should be worried about. Yeah, not heavy metals. Now, if you get your blood tested and you do have high lead, then that's a time and a place to audit. And then you go, okay, where am I getting high amounts of lead? And then that would be helpful. And you probably have a higher risk of getting lead if you, like, live near a construction site or like lead paint or something like that. Or lead pipes. Yeah, like there's so many other things. Even mold, like, people struggle with mold today. And I live in Florida. So it's like a big issue down here. And like we're always. getting our house checked for mold and stuff. And that's like another thing people have to worry about is, you know, that type of also,

like physical exposure. It's not always from food. Like, what is around you that's also exposing you to these heavy metals and how do we become more resilient to the things that we cannot control, you know? Like, I can't control every little thing. Like, I'm not going to go ask when I go to a restaurant, like, is there heavy metals in here? Like, I don't even think they know, you know. but like if something's just like a real whole food I'm not stressing about it you know like that's what

I can control and that's it and then I do my regular blood work and testing as part of my routine of like maintaining my body just like you get your car checked every year you get your health checked every year like do basic blood work at a Dutch test see how you're doing chat I don't know check your gut if there's anything off and just use it as like a biomarker for yourself like every year like okay that's just what I'm gonna do that's my birthday treat to myself like I've literally had people pitch in money for me to get testing like that's the type of girl I am, you know, like, that's really good. That's the, like, I got an air doctor for my, for Christmas. I love it. Same. I always ask for the, like, yeah, get me something. Get me a gift card to get my stool tested. That's what I want. Yeah, I need a GI map. So, give me money.

Thank you. Send in your poop. Yeah, please. Mail your poop in. Yeah, I saw my husband all the time. I was like, the amount of, like, I hope my mailman doesn't find me on social media because the amount of bodily fluid that he's had to transport for me. You don't want to make eye contact with that. No, like this poor man, I give him an extra bonus for Christmas. Give him a little something in the mailbox. He's like, wow, there's a lot of human specimens. Yeah, piss, hair, poop, blood.

Like, so many things have gone in my mailbox. Like, I need to put a camera in there. Like, yeah, it's a disgrace. But that's like, that's like basic human hygiene at this point, you know? And that's like I love brands, honestly, like function, like making it more. more accessible for people because to get all that blood work. It would be so expensive. Oh, my God, I know.

Yeah, $500 for the year and you get two rounds. Yes. That's like unheard of. I tell everybody honestly to sign up if you can't afford like working with a coach. But yeah. Yeah, that's like basic for me now. Like to just go and get, make sure my honestly vitamin D levels. Exactly.

Yearly you should be getting your vitamin D levels checked. You know, that's just like energy. All of exactly. You know, and it does all of that. So it's just that's like basic. human hygiene and people are so I think the biggest thing that people are afraid of is like what they don't know so it's like if you're never getting your health checked you don't know like yeah there was a point in time where I was like okay like oh my god are these heavy metals like

really affecting me like I do consume a lot of protein powder blah blah blah and then once I actually started seeing like what's actually going on in my body I'm like oh yeah you're like I'm good oh okay I'm freaking chilling like I'm 17 like I have my whole life to live why am I concerned just started yeah I just got started you know But yeah, that's what I think about. Like, people don't know what's actually going on in their body. If you're that concerned, get tested. Exactly.

Which brings me in my next question, actually, because you've been on a fertility journey. Yeah. What are the tests that you recommend people getting? Because I know, well, one, a lot of women are dealing with infertility right now, unfortunately. And I've done so many podcasts about that, so we don't need to talk about why. Yeah. But I think the biggest disservice that we're doing for women right now is that if you struggle at all, they just almost immediately just throw you on IVF instead of,

actually having a conversation with you about things that you could be testing and rocks to look under essentially like where to shine the light under things yeah i mean i've it's been like a year for me and it's so crazy because i got to a point the worst mindset to be in when you're going through any type of just health issue is like getting to the point of desperation because then you're kind of like at the will of whatever your doctor says you know and i got to that point because I really thought I was going to be pregnant by the end of 2024. And I'm like, if I'm not pregnant by the end of 24 and I want a baby, I'm going to go to a fertility clinic and I'm just going to like figure it out and blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I remember I did exactly that. I went in the end of January. And I went in. I literally had the most horrible like experience with my fertility doctor. She just pretty much age shamed me. She was like, oh, you're 31, like blah, blah, blah. At 31? And she, it's so funny because she was so shocked to see my AMH was in perfect.

range because your AMH is your ovarian reserve and she just assumed I was going to be like decrepit and like my ovaries are already raisins and I'm like baby girl you're like have you seen my biological age I'm just kidding um I'll never let that go actually by the way so just getting started but yeah like she just automatically assumed and then when all my markers were coming back she's like oh like this is really good and like this is like in perfect range and I'm like yeah I'm a healthy 31 year old like she was just kind of shocked so she kind of put her own foot in her mouth when I came to that. That's amazing.

You know, and then they do basic, right? So, like, every fertility clinic, at least what I know is they'll run, like, physical exam, like an HSG and an SIS, which checks to make sure, like, everything's open, right? Like, because, yeah, you're not going to get pregnant if your tubes are blocked. Yeah. And then they'll do a sperm analysis, like an initial sperm analysis. And then they do your day three labs. So it's checking your FSH and your LH and your estrogen.

And then I think they do, oh, then genetic testing. And they check for, like, STIs and stuff. which like all of that came back perfect for me, which was great. Like tubes were open, great, amazing. And then they kind of just want to get you on, like immediately after my first meeting with her, before I did any tests, she sent me into a room to talk about payment plans for IVF. Oh, my God. Like my first appointment.

And my husband and I... She's like, oh, like, and we're going to talk about payment plans. So you're already assuming this is what I need. Well, you just told me, like, a lot of my blood work looks great and, like, high-intuitive. dandy and now all my testing is coming back phenomenal okay just so you know just so everyone knows i have an old star yeah i have an a plus uterus that's what i was told um and yeah so that was the so that was shocking to me and i'm always i'm grateful that i did i had a lot of testing before so she was kind of shocked to see how much i've done and she was like oh like these tests like don't really

say like show anything like okay i'm like all right ma'am um so what i would suggest somebody who is going through any type of fertility to be honest it's sad that they tell women to wait a year to even get any testing that's just like it like a bullshit like they kind of just kind of make it up because it's like the statistic of like most people will get like pregnant within a year but the thing is is like why aren't they getting pregnant sooner you know like you shouldn't have to wait a year especially as you're like older um especially if you're like over 30 they'll push IVF within six months of not getting pregnant which is crazy because they're like there's no optimization so the first thing I would do is I would do like a full on thyroid panel um I did

one like well before so I already knew like my thyroid was a little bit on like the sluggish side but it's always been within optimal range and I've always managed it really well so I'm like grateful for that um a full thyroid panel because thyroid issues and baby uses up a lot of thyroid hormone and it's like one of the biggest causes for miscarriage so you've been kind of like on the border of that. It's really important to get your thyroid checked. A hundred percent recommend a Dutch test. Oh my God, to see how your adrenals are functioning, how you're metabolizing different hormones. That's so important. My fertility clinic and my OBGYN completely dropped the ball with me because my progesterone was in great range. But I had a

luteal phase deficiency. So my progesterone wasn't like optimal throughout my luteal phase, which impacts implantation. My fertility clinic did not bring that up and neither did my OBGN. I found that out through my functional practitioner via my Dutch test, which my fertility clinic said the Dutch test is useless and doesn't show anything. Of course. So I'm glad that I did the Dutch test and I recommend that to everybody. You can also do a full metabolic panel. It's usually through the Oat test to see like what your metabolism is doing because that's really important during pregnancy also. It's like you're running a marathon like every day during pregnancy. So that's really important. We also did a GI map, a stool test because your baby inherits your microbiome. And there's

like a lot of things that go along with that. And actually also a vaginal microbiome test. Oh yeah. Because there's that one, what is that? Eurea plasma. Yes. So actually turns out I don't have that. But apparently you can still have a dysbiosis in your vagina, just like as you would in your gut, which can impair nutrient absorption, and it can also impair sperm swimming optimally. So I didn't know that, and I found that out through, I did the EV, it's EVVY, and apparently if you have like a different, like pH affects sperm. So if you have a higher pH or a lower pH, that can affect if the sperm even makes it to the egg at all. And these are all things that can impair just conception in general that my fertility clinic never told me about. So those are a couple

tests I always recommend. I honestly like function health really did a lot of them. Also check your leptin. My leptin ended up being really low and your leptin is your satiating hormone, which you thinks has like nothing to do with fertility, but it actually like really handles reproductive signaling. Oh, I didn't know that actually. It's so interesting. I just know like leptin and ghrelin is like the hunger. Yeah. And I'm like, what is my leptin have to do with having a baby? And apparently your leptin also helps with reproductive signaling. So if you have low leptin, like I do. And again, my fertility clinic never mentioned leptin. My functional practitioner did. And thank God I got it tested because if your leptin is low, usually see high leptin with PCOS. Low leptin, so you don't

really have an appetite as much. So it makes it harder to get in a lot of nutrients. But low leptin will signal to your reproductive system that we don't have enough energy to create. Oh, to create a baby. Create energy in general. Wow. That's so fascinating. And a lot of women never get tested for leptin when they're going through infertility or anything. Like, even if you're, like, having a hard time to conceive, like, it's one of those tests that really opened my eyes because I didn't even know. I've always heard of high leptin because of PCOS. And again, I don't have PCOS.

My leptin's very low. It's actually, like, not even that low. It's, like, just borderline on the lower side. But it's definitely something that now I have, like, a protocol where I can actually improve. And what's crazy is I was doing a little digging. And if you have very low leptin, your body's telling you we don't even have energy to, like, create a baby or anything, like I would be going through multiple, like, failed IUI and IVF because I'd be forcing my body to create something doesn't have energy for.

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brain and immune health, and overall wellness, all in one deliciously creamy drink. To try the superfood golden milk today, go to paleovali.com slash real foodology, and you will save 15% off when you use code real foodology. Again, that's paleo valley.com slash real foodology. Well, and another one, too, that I would add on, and I don't want to just completely bombard people, but, you know, if people are really looking for answers and a lot of their doctors are not telling them this, I think it's good to do a toxin test, like an environmental toxins test, because a lot of people are being exposed to high levels of glyphosate and phallates and BPA and all this stuff. It could really impair sperm and, like, for you and your partner, and also like an autoimmune panel. Yes. There's not saying you have to do all of these, but like, it's good to know. Yeah, I think, and also for me, I did.

a lot of more like acute testing because a lot of my blood work is great. Like I'm like very healthy individual. Like my insulin was great. My fasting glucose was great. Like I don't have any PCS. I don't have endometriosis. Like I'm a very conventionally healthy person. So I had to do a lot more acute testing when I wasn't getting that like pregnancy test right like off the rip. But now in hindsight I'm grateful because now I have all this extra knowledge that I wouldn't have previously known. And now I can obviously help other people. But like even autoimmune conditions, I have another friend who's in the wellness space and she was just saying how her fertility clinic told her that her autoimmune problem has nothing to do with her not conceiving.

I don't think that at all. You literally, your immune system is literally attacking itself. Yeah. Well, how is that not affecting fertility? Yeah. Yeah.

That's a head scratcher. I'm literally scratching my head with that. Yeah, I was really confused about that. But yeah, there's so many things that I've learned and I feel like now that I have a plan, I feel so much better about everything. I don't have that pressure on me like, oh my God, my body's broken. No, my literally, my body is prioritizing survival over fertility.

Yeah. And now I have to just change my body to be like, no, like we're in a safe place and like we can procreate. And I'm not forcing my body to do something that it clearly is not ready to do. Yeah. So it gives me a lot of peace in my journey that I'm not like in that desperate mode. I'm like, I need to force a baby right now. Yeah. Like I can really just like live and like enjoy, you know?

Exactly. And look, I can't imagine that it's easy. In fact, I know that it's been really hard on you. I think knowing that you're super healthy and you've done all the testing and you've done everything, I do really believe, like, I'm pretty spiritual and I feel like there's at a time and a place and we have a plan and God, the universe, whatever you want to call it. I'm not making this religious. I'm just saying in general that, like, there's a greater plan that you may not see right now

that's unfolding for you. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't even have this type of insight if everything didn't happen the way that it happened. Yeah. And I'm really, like, I really feel so grateful that I have that. the knowledge and like it's funny because I actually went to a like spiritual kind of like healer like a couple months ago and she I didn't want to hear it but she pretty much told me she was like she goes if you got pregnant like last year when you first started trying like that would have

been too easy for you like you wouldn't have had the wisdom that you have now that you needed to go through because it's like I've always believed that my higher purpose and I'm sure you feel the same way is like just helping people right like I feel like I do have this greater purpose in life yeah um and also like at the same time i just feel like like people also don't understand i don't believe that fertility is a health marker like we see people that are you know on drugs and morbidly obese and um undernourished getting pregnant every single day people on the streets yeah and like it's so funny because like if you under eat your leptin's low and then your body it's like i don't have energy for a pregnancy but then you have people who are homeless that get zero nutrition they get pregnant with no

no issue right yeah and it's just like there is also like just the genetic factor where you and I can eat the same way and for some reason I get acne and like my health problems manifest as acne, maybe your health problems manifest as like infertility. It just manifests differently for people. And also there's so many implications of getting pregnant when you aren't healthy. And it just also says a lot about sometimes people are in such chronic survival mode that their body literally cannot tell if it's safe or not. So they're able to just have a baby even in the most stressful situations because their body doesn't know the difference between safe and survival because they've always kind of been in survival.

So that's like another thing to think about when it comes to like, because like comparison just destroys you during like that whole phase because you're like, how are all these people that are like treating their, they're like, my baby was built on McDonald's. And I'm like, oh, I love to have it for you. You're like, I'm over here literally sending my shit in the mail. Yeah, like I, you know, like I know people who are like, I was drinking up until 10 weeks. and you're like, oh, I love that for you. And I'm here like, I gave up alcohol for years ago.

Okay, I haven't felt joy since. I'm just kidding. But, you know, like, first off, giving up alcohol is the best thing I've ever done. But yeah, it's just like one of those things. It's so easy to compare. But, like, people get pregnant, unhealthy all the time. Do I actually want that for myself? You know what I'm saying?

Like, do I want that type of environment for myself? No, I feel like I've always had greater purpose outside of motherhood. And I do believe in my heart that I would be blessed with children. and I think I had to get to this point of like understanding the system better. And it's like I'm literally healthily because I went through the suffering and hardship of like chronic disorder, like chronic symptoms, you know, like I wouldn't be who I am today. So like I'm excited to see who I'm going to be like on the other side of this because I do believe that in my heart.

I also like always told myself, I kind of jinx myself. I was like, I'm not having kids so I'm 30. And now God's like really testing me. He's like, what about 32? You know, like how about a little longer? So yeah, it's just one of those things where like, you're like, yeah like i do i hated hearing that when i was in the midst of it like oh like it'll make sense but like it really does make sense now yeah i love it i love to love to talk about it well thank you

so much for sharing that because i think that will help a lot of people and that really is a great point and it is one of those things when you're in the moment you're really in the thick of it i don't want to hear shit there's a greater purpose you're like literally while they're pregnant and you're like shut the fuck shut up i don't want to hear it shut up stacey but it is true though like once you get to the other side of that, you're like, oh, wow. All of this had a plan and a purpose. Yeah, I would have never known. And, you know, I'm like, just like you, I'm an educator and I've helped people through my own journey every single time. And if I got pregnant a year ago when I first, like the first time, you know, like I would have never learned

all this stuff about how corrupt the fertility system is. I could do like a whole freaking episode just on how corrupt it is and like how they, a lot of them unfortunately really prey on the desperation of couples. They know couples will pay anything by anything like $40,000. Yeah. I just came across a video of a girl who said she always, she was on her 12th IVF cycle. That's so much. That should be a crime. That should literally be a crime. That like that doctor should be arrested. And no one's probably sitting down and talking with her about the tests that she should be doing about her health, no, blood work. Yeah. And that's really sad. And I had somebody else. I was talking about fertility. And somebody was like, because I was like, oh, it's very expensive. And they're like, oh, my insurance covers

four rounds of IVF a year. I'm like, that's a lot of rounds. And that should be extremely concerning to if you need four rounds of IVF. And you're not doing anything in between or your doctor's not encouraging you to look a little bit deeper and like figure out. Because first off, like the fact that it's not 100% is a big factor, right? Like, why isn't it? If it's not 100% because of like autoimmune or whatever, why aren't we testing for that? Why aren't we increasing people's chances? So they only have to do it once, if at all. Right? Like, why are we doing that? It's why they're not, because they have no incentive to do that because for them, it's a bonus. Oh, you have to come back again.

Oh, that's another 20K for us. So, yeah, it's a huge money. I mean, I saw the numbers. Like, I went in there. And it's so funny because my husband and I were just like chuckling because the guy who came into the office to like give us like the papers and the pamphlets. I used probably fresh out of college. And I'm like, well, this guy's really going to teach me on like what my payment plans are.

Like, like where is the professionalism? It's so like they don't give a shit. Like, because they know everyone, like you said, everybody that's in there is in a vulnerable position. They're desperate. I've never been more, more. And yeah, and this is somebody, this is coming from somebody who like everybody, like, people just think, like, we hate science.

And like, no, I gave it a shot. More, I gave it more than a shot than I probably should have. And it was just horrible. And I'm sure there's amazing, like, more holistic IVF places out there. And I just didn't have that experience. But from the comments that I've been receiving when I share about my journey, a lot of women have the very same experience. They're like, my doctor didn't tell me about that test.

My doctor didn't mention leptin. My doctor said my husband's sperm was perfect. And, like, I look at the thing and I'm like, no, it's not. Like, what are we talking about here? Like, she didn't even give a shit about his sperm. I just had an episode come out literally today with the wee natal women. And they're the best. They're the best.

They're the best. When they were struggling, the whole reason they started their company is because they found out that, I don't remember the exact percentage, but it's actually a very high percentage that it's actually the male that's having the issue yeah but if you go through this whole process you can sometimes go through the entire process and they don't even test or even look at the male yeah and everything gets blamed on the woman yeah and I think the reason for that is like if you think about IVF right it's like they just need one sperm yeah that's it like men make that is crazy they make all the time

so they're just like we just need one of his sperm like that's why his sperm wasn't even a concern for her because I was like oh like what do you think is like one of his like levels were like less than optimal I think it was like the motility or something like that she's like oh it's fine like he clearly has like plenty of sperm like it wasn't a concern for her like i was clearly the issue in the relationship yeah and it was very concerning because i'm like you're so you're not going to do anything to improve it and like it's so funny because i went to my acupuncturist and she put my husband on a protocol and we improved his sperm motility by literally 54 percent that's amazing like in again my fertility because not an issue why wouldn't i want to improve it why wouldn't you

want to improve it not even just like the like anything but like just the quality in general like the DNA. The quality of life. Yeah, genetics, the epigenetics. Like, even, like, they just, a study came out about how, like, the sperm also carries the stress of the father. So why wouldn't I want to improve his stress markers and, like, any type of autoimmune or, like, underlying oxidative stress? Like, why wouldn't I want to do that? Exactly. They don't even give women that option. Again, everything that I've learned about fertility and how to optimize my husband and I's fertility was not even through my fertility clinic. I mean, this is wild. And this is why so many people are struggling because no one's not no one but largely these conversations are not being had with

women yeah and these fertility and then people get upset that they listen to wellness influencers exactly then they get mad at us and then they're mad at me like what am i supposed to do i'm just what the hell i learned you know i'm just trying to help we really just want to help that's it yeah there's no harm in like just telling people that there's another that there could be another way for you you know exactly exactly and and this is not harming people just going another path against the mainstream medical system is, I mean, look, I'm not saying no one can ever get harmed in that, but a lot of it is like, get more vitamin D. Okay, let me take, get more suddenly. You know, it's not like you try it and it doesn't work for you. Great. It's not like it's

harming you, you know? Yeah, it's very low risk. Low risk health things that people could do. Yeah, like low risk health improvements that aren't hurting anybody to do or take. And like, again, when people want to be credentialist and be like, well, what are your credentials? Like, I technically, I'm a health coach. I don't need any more credentials than that than just encourage people to eat well. Like, I'm not giving them meal plans. I'm not doing anything crazy. Like, I'm not giving them a supplement protocol. Like, I'm just telling you to like reduce. Yeah, eat real food, move your body. It's really simple. It's, yeah, that's not like this crazy, but apparently you do need to be a doctor to just tell

that and they're not even doing it. And the doctors aren't even doing it? Yeah, it's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed. I can literally talk to you about this for hours. In the essence of time, I think we have to wrap this up, and I'm sad because I want to talk more. I need to bring you back on. I want to come back and have another episode with you about your – I want to hear that full experience about everything with the fertility. Oh, my God, yeah.

I was a nightmare, but it's so good. No, honestly, it's fine. It's just one of those things where I – I'm someone that can't handle it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I know a lot of women. that didn't come out more resilient through IVF. They came out more broken and disheartened and just like shells of themselves. And I get that because I see how hard it is.

And I, again, I was like pleading and I prayed so hard to like give me peace in this journey. And I know in my heart that I am somebody who can handle that type of really suffering. Like honestly, like I'm not trying to be like, oh my God, I'm so strong. But I really, like, I get so much out of what I do for a living. And I knew that there was going to be a greater lesson underneath it all. Like, yes, it was very humbling being in that. I remember being in the fertility clinic and just being like, oh, my God, I hope nobody sees me, blah, blah, blah. And then I'm like, wait, I'm going to share about it anyway.

Like, who fucking cares, you know, like, that's just how I am. You know, we're like, not everybody's like that. And I get it. And it's very, I was at a very dark place and it was very hard to go through. And it's been like, literally, it'll be like a year of us trying like in a, like, two weeks. so it's like I'm wrapping up and I thought I'd be in like a different headspace and I'm actually like I thought I'd be way worse than I am now and and now I'm like I never thought I'd be like on a podcast being like yeah guys like still not pregnant but it's okay you know but like I feel really good because I have like a real plan with my team and I feel really good about it and I that's how I want women to feel on this journey like I want them to be like wow I actually found out what was happening and I can move on from it and have a real action plan the shit that they're not getting at these clinics you know so yeah definitely I don't talk more about that We'll definitely talk more about that.

Yeah. I'll like you so much for coming on. This was super fun. Thank you. I'll be back. She'll be back, guys. Don't worry. I know this is going to be a hit episode.

Thank you so much for listening to the Real Foodology podcast. This is a Wellness Loud production produced by Drake Peterson and mixed by Mike Fry. Theme song is by Georgie. You can watch the full video version of this podcast inside the Spotify app or on YouTube. As always, you can leave us a voicemail by clicking the link in our bio. And if you like this episode, please rate and review on your podcast app. For more shows by my team, go to Worldwide. WellnessLoud.com. See you next time. The content of this show is for educational and

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