Sara & Cariad's Weirdos Book Club - The Elsie Drake Letters by Robert Popper with Robert Popper

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

This week's book guest is The Elsie Drake Letters by Robert Popper.Sara and Cariad are joined by legendary comedy writer, producer and actor Robert Popper who's worked on everything from Look Around You to Friday Night Dinner, Peep Show and Stath Lets Flats. In this episode they discuss bananas, the King, Potsy the hedgehog, stamps and the Pope.Thank you for reading with us. We like reading with you!The Elsie Drake Letters are available to buy here.You can find Robert on Instagram @itsrobertpopper and Twitter @robertpopperTickets for the live Weirdos show at the Southbank Centre with special guest Harriet Walter are available to buy here!Cariad’s children's book The Christmas Wish-tastrophe is available to pre-order now.Sara’s debut novel Weirdo is published by Faber & Faber and is available to buy here.Cariad’s book You Are Not Alone is published by Bloomsbury and is available to buy here.Follow Sara & Cariad’s Weirdos Book Club on Instagram @saraandcariadsweirdosbookclub and Twitter @weirdosbookclub Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sarah Pasco. Hello, I'm Carriad Lloyd. And we're weird about books. We love to read. We read too much. We talk too much. About the too much that we've read. Which is why we've created the Weirdo's Book Club.

Join us. A space for the lonely outsider to feel accepted and appreciated. A place for the person who'd love to be in a real book club, but doesn't like wine or nibbles. Or being around other people. Is that you? Join us. Check out our Instagram at Sarah and Carriad's Weirdo's Book Club for the upcoming books we're going to be discussing. You can read along and share your opinions.

Or just skulk around in your raincoat like the weirdo you are. Thank you for reading with us. We like reading with you. This week's book guest is the Elsie Drake Letters by Robert Popper. What's it about? Well, Robert Popper pretended to be a 104-year-old woman called Elsie Drake and then he wrote to various companies and organizations asking to work for them. What qualifies it for the Weirdo's Book Club?

Well, I don't know if you heard. A grown man, Robert Popper, a very successful comedy writer, decided to be a 104-year-old. old woman and write to various companies and organisations offering to work for them. In this episode we discuss bananas, Potsie the hedgehog, the king, stamps, any mordant, and the Pope. And joining us this week is Robert Popper. Robert is a comedy legend. He is the co-creator of cult classic Look Around You. He's worked on Peep Show, The Inbetweens, The Inbetweens, The I-T Crowds, South Park and Stafflet's Flats. And he's the creator and writer of the award-winning

comedy show, Friday Night Dinner. And also the author of the Time Waster Letters, under the pseudonym Robin Cooper. We are here with the amazing Robert Popper. Robert Popper in the house. Robert, what sort of reader are you? Oh, God, I thought you'd ask me this. I used to read much more. I don't read as much.

It's annoying. It's hard. And then when I read a book, I'm like, I've got to read more. I used to read a lot. I mean, I just read your lovely book. Thank you very much. I'm going to. Yes, thank you very much.

Available to buy now. It's fantastic. No, it is fantastic. So this is the 24th of October. Oh, yeah. Your book is out today. So where's yours out? October 10th.

10. Two weeks. Two weeks ago. Please buy it. It's a lovely, lovely, lovely read. But I've been reading. What I've been reading? I've been reading, I've been reading, I really love.

There's a series called the Arab of the Future. Do you know that? Riyadh's a graphic novel. Oh. So it's about it. We need to do a graphic novel on the podcast. Oh, it's really funny. Carriads digging their heels.

I'm not doing it because I have to read graphic novels to my children. And it's really difficult to read graphic novels. Yeah, it's horrible to explain what's happening here. Had that many voices. It's hard. So then when I want to read. You have to read it out on the podcast. I will.

Have to read the whole thing. You'll have to read them all and then we talk about them. Just like a lovely Q&A at the end of a film, which no one wants to watch. It's a French series. So they're in French or English. I read them in English. But I've also read one in French. Pretentious.

Wow. I did have to look up quite a few of the words. It's about this, the writer. It's his childhood in Libya and Iraq with a crazy dad who kidnapped his younger brother. It's very funny, though. It's not really dark, though. And it's just. But he writes, he's done like, you know, five-year periods, five-year periods,

blah, blah, I think, I think it's six I've read, and there might be a seventh. And I recommend that, that is just, it's so funny and it's such a beautifully coloured, mainly like, you know, the Arab flag kind of thing, green, blue and red, green, red and black. It's really simple, but super funny. Oh, that's a good recommendation. That's a good one. Well, talking about super funny.

Yes. Look at this quote at the top of your book. I laughed and I cried. Daisy May Cooper, one of the funniest living human being. I howled with laughter, Matt Lucas. I mean, about the amazing. You couldn't get better quotes from funnier people. And it's called the Elsie Drake letters aged 104.

Yeah. Yeah. Goodbye. So from graphic and others to. It's such a funny book, Robert. I was crying. I was crying laughing. Carred and her husband read them out to each other.

Oh. Who did the replies? The boring bit. No, I had to read it all. Okay, right, yeah. Because he's like my children and he's reading to. And that's your job at your house, just a reader. Well, actually, what I was doing?

was reading and you know I going and he was like oh go on go on just read one more and tell me and then because he started laughing so much I you know and it just gets more and more and then he was crying and when I just because there's pictures we should say yeah my terrible joys yeah so just flashing him a picture

no they are terrible no they're not good sort of but they're terrible but they're not terrible actually let's give some context so this is a series of books let's not give it any context where you pretend to be Elsie Drake yes who's 104 and the sixth oldest woman in Britain six older one in Britain So where does that come from before we go too much further?

Why did you think, who is Elsie Drake? When did she occur to you? Okay, well, I used to write these books years ago called The Time Waste the Letters under the name Robin Cooper, which were insane. Basically, where I worked, I think I was working, sounds like the 70s, but Granada Television in London. Yeah. And they had like a library, and I went in there, and there was a book there called the

Directory of British Trade Associations and Hobby Groups. I just thought, what is that? And I opened it, and it was like the British Lizard Society. the British colour makers society the British tug of war association oh my god so I just started writing to them because they're just funny in itself

and they all wrote back and that became over like I did it for a hobby because most of my stuff I like doing as silly hobbies to make myself laugh and spend lots of money doing expensive hobbies and that turned into

time waste a letter book and then there was a follow-up blah blah blah and then when that finished I couldn't write anymore because the internet was getting bigger and you could search and I know who that person is. And you were busy writing Friday night, didn't it? Yeah, well, I got after that, I started making that.

Yeah, exactly. But a long time ago, I really missed that thrill of just writing insanity, almost in a trance, sending it out and just seeing what will happen. And getting letters, it's so exciting. It's so exciting. A whole house, my wife, my kids, so excited. And I had thought years ago, I used to do these, like, I do these silly phone calls sometimes to radio stations and blah, blah, blah.

And one character had was this elderly lady. And I really like doing her. And I just one day thought, oh man, you could write letters being like an extremely old lady would be funny. And it just came Elsie Drake. And I wrote bits and bobs over the years. So I got a nice letter from Tony Blair signed to Elsie wishing her leg better. So a few. And I did them as a hobby, but I never, having done the time waste letters on, you just have to do it like a job.

You have to write hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of. Yeah, hundreds. And I never had times, and I did quite a bit in five years ago, about five years ago. I did quite a month or so on them. And then a year ago, I thought, I'm going to spend a year writing, I'm going to do this now, because it makes me laugh so much. I don't care if it makes anyone else laugh, but it makes me laugh, I'm going to do this. And then I thought, right, I probably need to write about 600 letters.

And I worked out mathematically. How many do you need to write a week? It was all like that once I really worked it all out. So it's odd because it's this seesaw between what you're describing as very, very fun. That's a huge amount of work very methodically worked through. Yeah, admin. Is that how you usually have fun? It's made me, all my things have been admin-based.

No, I think there's quite a lot of numbers. When I did Friday night and I worked out quite soon. How many days exactly does it take me to write a script? And then I would work out. I need to do it in 20-odd days. It's this. So, yeah. And does that make it easier for your brain?

Yeah, because I have a deadline and I have to hit the deadline. Joseph Mulpergo does that for writing. He's like, it takes me this, he's writing. children's series at the moment. He was like, so it takes me this amount to do it. And I've scheduled my entire two months and I don't have an hour off. That's quite insane.

He's got two small kids as well. But he's like, that's the schedule and he sticks to it. I can't imagine sticking to it. That's what I can do. Yeah, what happens when you get an inspiration or you decide, oh, that's much better. I'll do that, of course.

No, no, no. No, no. The one that's fine stays. This is adequate material. I'm not changing it. Yeah, lots of creative people. go it takes as long as it takes. What I just thought I'm going to, I'm going to, I kind of worked out.

I think I need this money. I thought it was actually 500. I think it did 644 in the end. There we are to write. It is kind of like, yeah, you just have to write a lot because most of them don't write back and most of them are fine when they do. And then there's some that are gold. Shall we get an old lady to go and ask the people who didn't write back why?

You know. Well, the Pope, I mean, there's a Pope letter in there, but I wrote to the Pope's maybe four times. And I always put a fiver in, five pounds. It's so expensive. And he didn't write back three times. So he has me 15. I'm telling you.

He does. And the one that wrote the longest to write back, who wrote back, was Boris Johnson. That was like nearly seven months. Actually, but then you say, if you ask me, how long would Boris Johnson take to get himself? Seven months. I mean, that's better than I would have thought. That isn't bad. Yeah, that is a lot of women asking, watching a letter about other stuff.

If anyone's scared of opening the post. Yeah, it's Boris Johnson. It's Boris Johnson. You're right. It's like, does it sound like a paternity test? How heavy is it? Does it rattle? I thought that, because you said, often she says, I enclose five pounds.

I'm close five pound English monies. Sometimes there's a lot of mine. Sometimes I think once I just thought it funny. So put in like 35 pounds. It's quite a lot of money. And they do send it back, thanks. But most some people kept it. But did you go to?

Yeah, yeah, 30% 50% of money. I just didn't mention it. Loads of, loads. I think they might have sent it back, but loads kept it. Do you know how expensive football players are? You're right. Every fibre helps. So do you go into the bank? Yeah, that's what I did.

And take out cash. Yeah, yeah. So I go to the post office. And I say, can I change £200 into five pound notes, please? And they go, oh, don't think we have that. And then I came a while and said, it was you again. You're a £5 notes. And then once I said, yeah, poker night.

Oh, God. And then one time I said, I don't know why I didn't need anything. Prizes for a children's party. Or five pound note to give me to the kid. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, there's a lot. Yeah, I mean, to be honest, that post office, they saw me a lot. But I did sort of stupid things.

You must talk about you so much. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So she's an old woman. She's an elderly woman. She's basically, she knows what she wants in life. She's quite pushy. And she wants her chance to shine.

Yeah. She designed some Walker's Chris flavor. Was it liver? Liver. Liver flavor. There's a lot of cooking, actually, we need to talk about. I hope you and your lovely Walker's tough. enjoy Elsie's Crisps, which I have enclosed.

Everything's spelt wrong and little platyclubs. Will you be going to production with them? I do hope so. My fame would no end. I would be an icon for my age. I am 104. Yours truly Elsie Drake. P.S. I'm also sending you £10 as payment.

Walker's got £10. So yeah, she's very confident, isn't she? But I mean, the amount of rubbish I sent. The cooking to come back to. There's a lot of cooking. We've made some pies for Greg's in there. Yeah, the meat, the meat you sent. So my wife would come home.

She'd be popping out someone and come back at 11 o'clock. the afternoon in the morning and like what is that smell i'm making like suet kidney and banana and fish pies for greggs so i would buy all the stuff what kind of face sort of expression does your wife she's amazing i mean she's i mean we'll go into what what some of the actual things but the visits we got from people over her so she's incredible he's like okay so i make these just the kids would like run away and are you laughing as you do it yeah i'm laughing the whole time and they and they're too nice start again. So I make these pies and then I put them in a little plastic tub,

which I label horribly. And then I would go to the post office and they would say to me, what are you watching? I go, a book. Little do you know. It's a false. Yeah, there's a lot of meat. There's a liver.

There's a lot of sainsbury's got sent. Banana and everything. There's a lot of banana. Yeah, Sainsbury's got sent some mysterious meat. She lives with a woman called Mrs. Hale. It's horrible. Mrs. Hale's horrible. An enemy, but they're horrible.

But there's a lot of, yeah, horrible. There's a lot of, like, when she goes away. She puts ink in her bed. She puts flour on her pillow or something. Yeah, a coughs on her bread and stuff. Yeah. Because I wanted it to be more than just letters. Yeah.

I wanted it to be like a mini sitcom. Yeah. You get to know all her friends. Mrs. Hale. Bessie Bates. Bessie Bates. He's a good violet grub. There's a good violet grubb who injures herself a lot.

She gets a bit in my own garden. There's a love interest. Yeah, Ralph Roberts. Yeah, Ralph Roberts. Because I thought of that name because when I was a kid, my mom used to always watch Coronation Street. Oh, yeah. And there was Alf Roberts.

Oh, yeah. And I said, I don't know. why suddenly thought Ralph Grobberts is just a great horrible name so there's like a romance which blossoms into I mean are they going to get married at the end and there is a times marriage announcement yeah so they do get married and the wedding invites get sent out I went to so basically she she meets this man she was married to Sydney who died in 1950 very recently yeah recently in 1950 and the whole thing is but I met this man will Sydney be looking down upon me they don't touch that man to take your hands off that man

etc but I decided to like hey it'd be really nice if it kind of goes towards a wedding and I thought I'm going to send wedding invites out and I thought I'm going to I'm going to get them professionally printed course you are so I went to call quick so I went to you off to darling just to print it okay so I got them designed by my mate Alex Morris who designed is a brilliant designer oh he does lovely cartoon he is amazing yeah and he's brilliant and he did it like he said no you want to do it properly so he said okay and the whole thing is that she's inviting people I sent them out to lots of people like everyone from like, I know, Anton Deck, Cliff Richards, like Princess Anne, you know, people like that. So what directory has all of their addresses?

I got a more. And then, so I went to Tuffnell Park, North London, Corkwick. And the woman in there, I don't know how we got to, and she was really nice. And I don't know, she was Jewish and I'm Jewish. And I don't know how, like, she knew all we got talking about. Anyway, so she goes, let me see the thing. Oh, it's, so are you getting married? No, no, no, no, no. It's for an elderly aunt. Oh, how old is your elderly aunt? Wonderful. I went, I can't say 104.

I went 80. She said, oh, wonderful. Mazel Toff. So I go, thank you. Well, this is going to be a wonderful occasion. Yes. So they printed when she gave it back to me. He said, have a wonderful wedding. Musletoff again. Little do you know what you were just printed. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was funny. Yeah, it was constantly like that. It was the insaneest project I've ever done. Some people are like con men or women, and they enjoy. Or maybe they don't. Maybe their brain just compartmentalises it and it feels real while they're playing it. Do you remember those police who pretended to join Greenpeace and got married to people and everything?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus. So you're not. I'm not. That's my next project. You're a different version of that. 84 weddings. You've got this odd alter ego, but you must get a frisson when you're talking to someone about something as if it is real.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's not just the writing. No. Having this happen in your real wife. I mean, when we talked about, so I wrote a letter to Theresa Mac. Elsie wrote letters to Theresa May wanting to be her maid-in-waiting, whatever that is, and sent five pounds so she can scrub her scullery in five minutes, etc.

And she wrote back, they wrote back from Talley Street. Thank you so much, but she doesn't need a maiden. So I sent, um, or another I sent 10 pounds. So we don't need another one, maybe like more money as a bribe. Yes. Anyway, I was at a meeting for work and then my wife. phoned and said, sorry, don't drop, come and talk to. She was saying, yeah, just was in the house and then

the doorbell went, and there was a police woman and a policeman out the door, okay, and said, excuse me, is that lady here? We're going to my 10 Downing Street. So the lady here called me, she's Elsie Drake. My wife went, uh, sort of, why. I said, well, they were concerned about this

elderly woman who's once, because her maid in waiting, and has been sending the Prime Minister money. He said, ah, okay, yeah, no, that's my husband. He's a comedy writer. And in the end, they were like, oh, okay, yeah. I mean, I just think of the police, they would have got that call. Ten Downing Street, that's a big ear, yeah?

And then, yeah, accused of bribery. Yeah, like, what is it happening? This is social services. I'm also really worried about this old lady. Yeah, like, someone has got money for food. I'll show you, actually. Like, when I was writing this, that was like just fun. I mean, I never want to be cruel.

Yeah. Any letters that went too far, which quite a few did. I didn't put in. I tell you about them. But otherwise, it was just, like, more like, it's always like, I want to have a different concept in each letter. it's more like this stupid, pointless conversation has occurred and this is the result of, as opposed to,

I got those people, aren't they idiots? I don't want it to feel, it's not meant to feel like that. No, it doesn't. That Blackpool Pleasure Beach really, that touched me because it was like, she writes Blackpool Pleasure Beach with her design for what a theme park should be. Based on it, I just, I had to. I should have brought that in?

It was so inspiring. And then they were like, we made it. We made it. Potsie. Potsie is my favourite character. Yeah, me too. Instead of it, I'm designing. like for Potsie's world, yeah.

Yeah, Potsiland, a pleasure beats and does a terrible drawing. And then I get this like in the post, this like tube, like where you have art prints. I should have brought it in and I open it is a huge colour. It was a huge. Beautiful detail, beyond detail of Potsie land, which they've made. Yeah, they redid it for her, didn't they? And then pictures of Popsie like hedgehogs riding a roller coaster. When I looked, it's in the book.

And I thought, oh, maybe they've just like they've got a template and they've just put it. And I looked carefully. I was like, no, they put her ideas in because. And then it's the rat tracks. The rat tracks. They've, like, gone to effort. And, like, I was like, do you know what? That is, like, there's an absurdity that's, of an English absurdity.

But some of the people I wrote to sort of slightly got obsessed with Elty. Most people won't get letters anymore. No, yeah, true. So the way that you were excited, I think that is exciting for people. Yeah, well, one day, in November, it's called 100 letters, November, told my wife, I'm doing 100 letters, she said, okay. But it seems like, well, that's easy, but each letter's got to be different conceptually. But then I got, one day, I got 21 letters back, which was, like,

the best day. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. You know, it is like that. God, it's like getting script submissions or sketch submissions, isn't it? Because you're like, yeah, that one will work. That could do this. I can reply this.

Or that one's just defined. Yeah, presents. Yeah, present. opened the door and she went Elsie Drake to them yeah yeah

it's um regents park I think it's regents park there's a version of this letter in here wrote that there's an old lady

wrote to them saying that our house is haunted by a ghost called my wife said the pink lady that's a ghost that's a ghost yeah

yeah and that she's that haunts her sofa and that and that so she's going to be coming to burn the sofa to get rid of the

ghost at the regents park and said yeah that is my husband. And are they laughing when they say? In the end, she said one of them was chuckling, one of them was quite serious.

But the worst visit, the worst one, which wasn't, the only time my wife said, I actually need a drink, but I had a knock on the door, and there was a very serious woman there with a lanyard, and my wife was talking at the door, and she looked white. She said, Robert, so hello,

it's Harringay Social Services, I need to make an assessment of this property. And my wife thought, like, the kids, yeah, so what do you mean? I need to make an assessment. Okay, why? I said, for a lady called Mrs. Elsie, J. basically I'd written to

someone that then some like it was something like London Palace or someone were saying that and they got in touch with the council my local council saying that I'm planning a big birthday party and my hundred and tenths birthday party

like as if she's going to be alive and this is who's going to be there so they were concerned so she said okay no no no I'm a comedy writer can I see ID I got ID in my own home yeah and I showed her the internet just at me I do comedy rights I did and I'm like Friday night dinner

I'm like, this is me, this is what I do. Well, you're pretending to be a 104-year-old woman at the moment. I'm showing my driving licence. She's thinking, what department do we send this to? A middle-aged man is pretending to be an old lady. Saying it's for comedy. My wife said, do you want to come in the house? She said, I do need to come in house because I need to check every single room if you are hiding.

So I took around and then she said, and the cupboards, okay. Open all the cupboards. We said, yes, I'm convinced you don't have a 104-year-old. And I said, can I send you a book? I said, no, it's okay. I've had enough of this shit. Yeah, I don't need the book. She must be thinking I could have been helping actual people today.

Yeah, I know. I just love it. I love how stupid it is. It's so stupid. I think you should make a documentary about your process. Or maybe your wife should make a documentary about your process. Yeah, it's funny if my wife made it actually. Yeah.

Iceland, I wrote too, to say that every Wednesday we have chalk icees, me and Mrs. Hale. And I brought my new man, Ralph Roberts, around to meet Mrs. Hale, who didn't like him, of course. and she took her his job eyes she said I've sent put it where you'll never find it and I wondered if you know where it is

anyway I was in the house ding dong it's like three days in a row this is the police social services and then this open it and it was two men in sort of suits and like millennial Mrs Elsie Jain

hello oh hello and they look in the house thinking this is a house of a hundred and four yeah so lady called Elsie J Elsie Drake oh um who are you

said oh we're from Iceland and I have to think what one of chock ice is So, I'm so sorry. I'm actually a comedy writer. What? Yeah, and I did it as a joke. It's kind of April falls.

It's not April or anything. Oh, so Elsie, right. I'm really sorry. Sorry, no, no. We've got a whole, like, massive box of ice. Chocke-off system around. Can I give them to us? I couldn't possibly take them.

I couldn't, no, please, no. Anyway, and I told my son, and they had a whole box of chocolate ice. He didn't tell you. He went, fucking math. You didn't take them. Well, I like about it as well. Oh, my God.

We live in this age where people with like a massive social media presence. Yeah, yeah, free stuff. Yeah. To promote it. What I love about people sending stuff because they believe in Elsie Drey. Yeah. Is that's absolutely thankless.

She's about to die. She's not got a big social circle. No. No one will find out they did that. She's got quite a lot of phones. She's got Irene Nine Apple. She's got a made-up ghost, a made-up hedgehog and a made-up housemate, okay? They're not going to sell a lot of Iceland products. No, you're right.

You're right. You're right. Yeah. And they can't be a long campaign. It's not a criminal campaign. It's not a Christmas ad, is it? No, but it's just an act of kindness because someone goes, it's not going to cost us anything. I can't say who, but a very, very famous British politician.

I made these like, do you know what, FEMA? It's modelling players. I can't make anything, but I made a, like, a model of Elsie and Potsie, who's much bigger than her. And I send it to, I mustn't say his name, to the very famous politician, saying, congratulations on your new job. And here's, you know, are you on your, you're a... my favorite politician and uh we watch you me and potsy on the television and here's potsy please like

can you put these in your office as a gift and can you take a picture of yourself and them in your office so I'm so touched i'll see i'm really touched it's one of the most lovely letters i can't i'm not allowed for security to show a picture of my office but they're pride of place in my office thank you so much i thought wow i'm going to use that and i thought i don't know it's too sweet and then a handwritten note got pushed through my door i don't know who did it saying I mean, he's super famous. Thank you so much. When I showed them to my wife and kids,

they said, Daddy, that is the loveliest that you've ever received, Potsie and Elsie. Let's talk about your toys, because that's the other thing I absolutely loved so much. Please tell the names of the toys again. So basically, there's a toy in there, which actually my son was really little, made a nursery. McThompson.

Out of Carbord. And when he got probably out of me and my wife, I just laugh in his face out. So he made one of them. And I've named him McThompson. We should describe it. of just like a wooden spoon with a fat body, no legs and has a very long pipe cleaner nose. Yeah, pipe cleaner nose and it's got sort of glitter on it actually.

And it's so funny. So I wrote to like a toy magazine, lots of, I wrote to lots of toy places. And then this one answered and I said, you know, when my husband was alive, he used to give them out to the kids, his toys on Thursday. Was it Mourndy Thursday? More D-D-Thursday. And then I talk about, you know, where's that big? He goes.

Won't do the voice. Do the voice. Do the voice. I think your wonderful readers might like to know that when my husband, Sydney, was alive, he was very good with his hand. He used to make little toys out of wood, brick and brack, and hand them out to the children in our street, Mourndy Thursday. Sydney's favourite toy who made was called McThompson.

McThompson was such a jaunty little fellow, everyone loved him. His second favourite was a naughty squirrel called Fliott and Fluffs. My son called his toy squirrel. McThompson and Fliott and Fluton Fluffs became best friends and had many adventures, for example. escaping from cave measles epidemic flood flooding horrible hotel

late for train in the wrong wedding and then I said so I made these out of cardboard they're fucking awful and then they print them So when you have a things to do list right at the beginning of the day

it's like tax return post office make carball toys Make McTompson and Flutton Fluffs Is that what your son called He felt a squirrel He had a squirrel He had a squirrels

He always has been What's it called Beth, my wife said, go and asking what is called. What's called? Feltin Fluffs. Sorry. Flilton Fluffs? Flilton Fluffs.

No, flutton Fluffs. Flutton Fluffs, okay. Flutton Fluffs. So I told him I was using that name. He said, please don't use that name. Oh, I've sent it all. I've got to use a name. Does he not see the funny side?

Yeah, he now is fine. So actually, I don't mind you, called Flop. And then there's later on, she does them again for Rice Krispies. Yeah. There's two of them. And there's a new one. There's a blue one. Yeah, to replace snapcup.

And then there's a new one. So there's, you know, McThompson and an elderly butterfly called Suds. He's got a little bow tie. I mean, when I make the toys, I'm laughing the whole time. And then Toy World printed the letter, but they redid them for you? So Toy World is this magazine. They printed the letter because the picture quality was so poor, which it was, they redone them. But ever since, I get, and it's a big, it's an industry.

Like, I get sent Toy World magazine every month. is massive. But the address is Elsie Dray, McThompson and Flilton Flath. The only people that have guessed who I was,

right, was the British paranormal society. No. They said, are you by any chance, Robert Popper? What, straight away?

First letter back was that, yeah, because I think they thought that seems like a sort of thing I would do. And I was like, yeah.

Because they're psychic. Weird. Yeah, that's like to tell you. Yeah, because they're psychic. Yeah. I guess every single person

who writes them, they're like, hmm, okay, don't look to the bottom. This is. Yeah. Anita Dobson? She's always right.

Do you think, because I remember the time wasted letters. Yeah. Coming out particularly, because that is when I worked to W.A. Smith's. Yeah. It was so successful and such of like popular, funny book. So yeah, I wondered the paranormal society, do you think they remembered Robin Cooper and were like this, read like Cooper.

I think so, yeah. I do lie. There's one other person that, it was to Porsche, saying that can I go in a car, will it go 200 miles, and how will it hurt my face, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's all that stuff. Does it have, does it have, master control in Inverticomers, I don't even know what it is.

And can I eat sandwiches in the cars? And they said, if you are Robert Poppott, would you like to come to our test drives and Porsche's? I have no interest in cars at all. So I tell my brother who loves Formula One and goes, we're going going to go. So we went to Porsche together. I have no interest. I hate going fast in cars. He loves it.

We go. And you get given a drive. You have lunch. You get a driver. And he goes, so it says you're, um, media. Right. Yeah. So how come you got onto this?

Wow. I was pretending to be a hundred four-year-old lady and I wrote these letters and then it's just his face thinking, I've got to drive this phone now. Yeah. It was fun though. I mean, my brother enjoyed it more than me.

It was just too fast. So you've got to sell a lot of books, I think, to get your money back. How much do you think you have spent on this? Yeah, what's your... You need a spreadsheet. I've spent six grand on this so far, mainly on stamps and stuff.

And stuff and money. I didn't get back. So tax return-wise. Are you claiming for that stuff? I didn't do any of that. Why not? How did you explain that? Another one that was so kind was the airport

saying he'd come and do some announcements for the place. So yeah, I wrote to like airports. I can't remember what that one was. Was it Heathrow? No, it was Luke. There was Sandstead, wasn't it? Sandstead. One of the airports.

Saying that I have a love, beautiful voice and I have my dream to do the announcements. So then I bought a tape record off eBay and tapes, like an old, you know. And then I recorded myself. And when you and me, Carrie, I do our event, Together at the South Bank guys on November the 10th, come and see us. Yes. I will play this cassette. Ladies and gentlemen, your planes are all clean and ready now.

Babies are not allowed to play in the lifts. Telephone call for Mr. and Mrs. Lee from your uncle's in Gibraltar. And it basically says, if you can't hear this in the letter, I've done a tape. So I did a tape. She has a great grandson who seems lovely and helps her with the music. Yeah, yeah. But on the tape, it's her. I did both voices, but it's him and her, and he's going, well, press a button then.

Oh, dear. And he said, hurry up. And it's just, and it just sounds like he's horrible when I sent that tape to them. And, yeah, they wrote back and said, and they invited, it's always hard when they invite you there. You're like, how do I get out of not going?

So it was back and forth, you know. There was one you really, Elsie really, really went to, didn't you? Then I can't remember when it was then you wrote said, oh, I've not, I'm not very well, I'm not coming. But they were like, great, okay. I'll make it was airport. Yeah, we can have other days.

Yeah. She fell over. Basically, it was Potsy's muck mound. He hibernates under. She tripped over that. And I think it banged her mouth on the shed or something or a metal pole. It's always horrible injuries. Do you miss her now you're not hurting?

Yeah, it's awful. Every morning you don't get any post or if I pass the post box. And I say to my, don't do that anymore. I don't get any letters. I just keep thinking I might still get letters, but I'm not going to get any more letters for her. But do you feel as well like you can't really do it again once the book comes out? Yeah, because they can just Google now. Yeah.

Yeah, it was awful. I loved it. It was the, there was a madness year. Yeah, it was the maddest, maddest, maddest. It was unpredictable. People turning up all the time at the house. It's like you had a sort of mad gap year. An adventure.

It was, there was like a dream. But you could have more adventures in your life. I hope so, yeah. I hope so, yeah. I'm sure you will. I hope so. No doubt. Would you ever have a prank show?

No, I don't know. It's not pranks, is it? I mean, they are sort of pranks. I mean, they are sort of pranks. And I'm just thinking, especially like, but they're such slow pranks. It's such a slow prank. It's such a boring prank.

I mean, I was thinking like pranks in schools. Like, so, like, with school children. Because they're the kind of people that, you know, they would suspend disbelief. They would believe, you know. What would that be, like, setting fire to the school? Just like, okay, you pick someone who's not having a great year. Yeah. And then, Trevor, you've won a prize.

There's no Trevor's left, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Carry on. No, Trevor's good. Trev. Trev. Camilla Parker Bowles is doing a surprise prize for people she thinks. are really good citizens.

And then you just have like a big party and everyone says what they like Trevor. And he's even less popular. No, it's true because you make it happen. You hire the, you do a big assembly, you make the school. You could be the roving reporter. This sounds like it shows, but, yeah, challenge Anna. One of you can be in the helicopter. This is the century my pitch to you.

It's a prank show where you just pick someone at random and do something lovely for them. Oh, yeah. But you would get to make lots of props. So you would get to make loads of money. But you would get to make lots of money. It's going to cost you six. Sarah, he doesn't need an excuse to make. Thompson's. He's doing it at his own.

Exactly. But imagine life size, cardboard cutouts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're the mascots of the palace. I'll talk to you after. There is something in this. What's so nice about it is that it's letters and that it's a book and that you get to, like, you're reading that process with Elsie and that you're getting, like,

there's something that's not, there's something analogy about it. Do you know what I mean? That you couldn't put on television because you are, it's the spelling mistakes. It's the, when someone writes a handwritten one in beautiful writing to you, It does feel like a very forgotten world. I know, yeah, it does, yeah. That's a good question. Because this was my first question, because sometimes we'd read someone's book and I'd think, oh, you know,

what illiterary influences or whatever. The only question I had for you is about when did you start being silly? Oh, we were silly as a child. You must have been silly all the time. No, I remember when I found out people could be silly, and I was 15 in a queue. Oh, go on. And there's a boy called Andy Day, who's now a CBB's presenter.

You know, Andy? Your kids must have watched Andy on CBB's. I don't know. Andy in the band, Andy in the Diet, like, you're a children. He's a Cibee's presenter now. He's like one of the biggest, how silly he is. Okay.

But he went to a different school to me, but I met him for a drama club, and he was doing noises in a queue for a play. And I had this, it was my proustian moment of, oh, people can be silly. Yeah.

We were allowed to just be silly. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've, like, I did used to write a lot of letters and stuff, like stupid letters and yeah i think i did that my parents are funny and we listen to love we watch a lot of funny stuff they all like comedy so they're funny they're funny people and my brother's

funny they're just fun they are funny yeah my dad's sort of we've watched Friday night dinner that's my dad so he's just i mean everything comes out his mouth is like but the best thing he ever said was like years ago um i think my mom said that dad's going to a funeral today and they went around for dinner to them and said oh dad you went to a funeral and goes oh yeah yeah how was it you see Lovely. Lovely. And my mum then goes, Michael, you didn't go to the funeral in the end?

He goes, yeah, he doesn't know that. It doesn't mean anything. Doesn't like, why lie about going to a funeral, St. It's lovely when you didn't even, so that was what it was like, that sort of what twist on things. Did you ever lose it? That was what I wondered is, because sometimes people are silly as children and then they lose it and they reflectively go,

why, you know, adulthood gets in the radio. I don't think you've ever lost it. I don't think you've ever left it. You guys do, you're silly. You're silly people. I think parenting's made it harder to be silly. I know, yeah, you get tired. But young children remind you how great silliness is.

No, they're just, it's too easy for them. I think with the case is the toothbrush that talks. Yeah. And so he eats, watch, like, yes. Come in your own, me, meow. He's right that. And when he's in there sometimes, if the TV's on and they're watching it, he turns and he goes, oh, TV.

And just watch the TV and won't clean their teeth. Things like that. That keeps silly, isn't it? And he eats tooth, that's what he eats toothpaste as well, so he eats the toothpaste out of his mouth. Oh, that's good. I said this to Carriad before, but like it keeps making me cry because it's so beautiful. But I didn't know that buses and trains would hoot and bib for children.

Oh, wow. Because the children are so excited. And they wave back. Yeah. If you wave at the Orange Line train, I would say nine. What's the Orange Line? So, you know, the London Overground. So the driver.

I never go on that. I don't know how it works. Okay. But if you wave at them, they're nine to nine percent they do you a two. And it's so great. It's the greatest moment. It's the greatest moment. So, my, so, the kid can't believe.

So my. So my. Theodore thinks the world is magic. today he went oh no dog poo as we're walking to school and I said it's fine we miss it and he went bye dog poo yeah it's like morning yeah that's great it's brilliant it's so brilliant it's so brilliant and I think so it's such a wonderful happy it's the only way to sort of I guess fight all of the that's what I think it's all like depressing it's like yeah and you can't help it I know it always said the world is so crap but it isn't all like now like a lot of us obviously

use things like Twitter which is just horrible I mean it's just horrible a guy running it is it's horrible and so much racism and blah blah blah blah you don't actually need to look at that. Yeah, it's nice to do something that. That's so silly. You're silly and hopefully make people smile and laugh. That's just kind of all I want to do. And the other thing I'd say, as well as people will have such a lovely time with your book. And for people who don't have time to read, like you said you don't get time to read enough.

And sometimes that's what we'll get from people who listen to the podcast as they really wish they could read the book. But with this one, you can dip in. It's a dipper. It's a dipper. It's a dipper. It's a dipper. I read it in between judging on the sewing bee. Oh, no.

They judged for ages. Yeah, it's a real antidote to that, yeah, like where we are at. And just reminding you, you can be silly and have fun just to see what might happen. When I was a child, so we used to write letters to Princess Diana. I don't know why we focused on her so much, but you get a reply from the... Yeah, Bucking Palace. Yeah, yeah. But they always say what you've sent.

So if you did send a drawing of Princess Diana, which we quite often did, because we thought she was so beautiful, you would get this letter back from her lady in waiting saying, she loved your drawing. And we just believe. it. So the world was that, was that we were children in Dagenham. Have you still got these, like, replies and stuff? No. You can make a book, Sarah. They're going, miss out. But then we started putting messages on balloons. No, which I definitely reached her.

So I remember once in a reply from someone in Cornwall who'd found it in their orchard. That thing. I remember that was a thing. I must have read it in a newspaper. It must have been a small craze. Yes, a small balloon craze. Again, pre-internet. Start that again. Messages in bottles, like, just the idea

putting something out into the world but for the fun of doing it and that's what your book reminded me of as being 9, 10, 11 and I just think that's something that God, I wish we all had more space for in our lives. Yeah, that's why I loved it so much

because it was just so ridiculous and well thought through and not just, you know, not just ephemeral memes which obviously are, or mems as I had an old lady call them, oh someone sent me a memm. Robert, on that heavy political note. Oh yeah.

Thank you so much for coming. Thank you. So nice. And thank you for bringing Elsie Drake into our lives. And Potsie. And when you do your South Bank event on the 10th of November, make sure you take Potsie World, the big one. Oh yeah, take the poster, yeah. South Bank Centre, come on, tickets are available, I guess now. Signing books, I guess, afterwards, will you?

In Elsie, why not? Oh, yeah, yeah. Shaky handwage. I'll have to now. I'll shake the table. You shake the table. Yeah, shake the table. Please can you say goodbye from Elsie? It's wonderful, Jimmy. I enjoyed it very much. Why wouldn't I enjoy time?

I'm allowed, don't I? Thank you for listening to the Weirdo's Book Club. Tickets for our live show with very special guest Harriet Water are part of the London Literature Festival and they're on sale now from the South Bank Centre or plosive.co.com. Sarah's novel Weirdo and my book, You Are Not Alone, are also both out in paperback and available to buy now. And Carriad's children's book, The Christmas Wish Tastrophe,

is also available in the shops. Get it now. You can find out all about the upcoming books we're going to be discussing on our Instagram at Sarah and Carriads Weirdo's Book Club. Thank you for reading with us. We like reading with you!