Sleep Deprived Podcast - 39 buried, 0 found. - SDP #109

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 32 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey everybody welcome back to the sleep deprived podcast yeah baby episode 109 wow 109 already yeah can you believe it man wow yeah man so welcome back to peas in a pod podcast what up i'm sick yeah astro tell us about being sick, man. Wiffleys. I got the sniffles. I'm all stuffed up. I got a little fever. And the only prescription I need is...

Love. More love. Censor that, because it's the first 45 seconds. Mika, I'm going gonna say love right now put love in front of what i say i'll also say love love love so it's just gonna sound like uh like a mechanical robot voice yeah it'll be like the person i need is more love. Yeah. Dude, there was this, I can't remember if it was Borderlands 1 or 2, but there was this Borderlands DLC where, I have just remembered this for like over a decade now.

There was like this zombie outbreak at like some factory or something. And there was like this regular voice and it was like um please be advised we are currently experiencing a code for and then like a robot voice was like zombie outbreak and for whatever reason that just like took me out and i haven't forgotten it since anyways astro the only prescription you need is a prescription for fun oh i thought you going to do a sponsor. We don't get those anymore, huh? Yeah, no, we don't. Well, maybe.

You know why? It's because we say love too much. We need more hate. Yeah, well, you know, I heard on the last episode of the Peas in a Pod podcast, you had on David and Jeffrey. How did that go oh my god i don't even want to talk about it and the horrible things i did to david and jeffrey after the episode ended oh geez i can't even begin to describe damn well speaking of horrible things

um that seems like a good segue there's a lot of things you could say now. Yeah, this is a Rogan. No, no. Wait, what happened to both of them? I don't know. I'm just you're saying horrible things. So I'm just saying horrible, like segwaying into a horrible thing. Killing babies. Is where you're going to talk about killing babies?

No, I wasn't going to talk about that. All right. Well, so I believe I tuned into the last good thing i mean we have an overpopulation problem god damn it no we don't we will no and that and that's um the global population and the and is gonna start shrinking you know it's only it's gonna cap out and then it's gonna shrink that's why it's gonna start shrinking you know it's only it's going to cap out and then it's going to shrink that's why it's going to start shrinking i think rules honestly viewers commentable if you would me what's the horrible thing you were going to bring up was it killing love no can we no um i i tuned into the last episode and uh i think it was david who brought up turning the the peas in a pod podcast into a true crime

podcast yeah so i really hated that idea so after after the podcast ended, I love into his love. And then I love, love. Well, I thought it was a great idea. I thought it was a brilliant idea. Oh, yeah. That's not what you said when you loved him. I wasn't there. Well, let's just say Jeffrey didn't make it very far out of the facility until he ran into, you this guy panda big poo yeah jumped out of bed into mika's arms so speak speaking of that um panda i've been trying to like give you a segue into what you wanted to talk about you guys have a secret segue i don't even know about this no panda panda found something he wanted to talk about and i i don't even know about this no panda panda found something he

wanted to talk about and i i don't know what it is like none of us know what it is we're trying to segue into it without knowing what it is exactly and we're kind of at at his mercy to start talking well that's so cool of you mika you know what else is cool? Panda? Guys, I have a boner. Dude, you set me up. That's not cool. I don't think that's cool. No, I'm just kidding. I don't.

I have a tiny penis. No, but there's a story about a guy called... You can still have a boner if you have a tiny penis. It's so tiny, it doesn't look like it's a boner. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Asher, let's delve into this more. Why are you defending the tiny penis army? The tiny penis army?

I think all penises are beautiful. Okay, so if a penis was extremely tiny, wimpy even, you think that's adorable is what you're saying. No, I never said it was adorable. You think it's cute.

I never said that. If a penis was microscopic, you'd be like, I wouldn't even see it, so I wouldn't do anything. Exactly never said that. You're putting. If a penis was microscopic, you'd be like, oh, I wouldn't even see it. So I wouldn't do anything. Exactly. You wouldn't see it. So how could you see a boner?

You're saying your penis is microscopic. I'm not saying my penis is. I'm just saying that's what you're implying. You have a. I have. I have the biggest schlong out of anyone. Don't say schlong. You can't refer to it as a schlong if it's that tiny.

OK. A long rod. Nope. of anyone don't say schlong you can't refer to it as a schlong if it's that tiny it's okay a long rod nope you know pokemon the old rod i got an old rod shriveled and useless no it's excuse me dude asher we gotta talk about this attitude problem mika do you hear this i've kind of checked out to be honest with you no no you can't do that there's only three of us now we have to chip in this is unacceptable you and i are vile and mika is too wholesome we have to find some sort of middle ground we have to be like we have to create like a liberal middle centrist ground and well i'm not a centrist i don't mean it in the political sense

i mean in a scale from vile to wholesome yeah that'd be cool like if we could i don't know like what what about like a wrestling in the mud no if we if we could put it in emoji terms like i don't i don't need like uh like i i would be fine with like a greater than colon three you know you know what i'm talking about okay that's that's still wholesome uwu that's still no but it's got like the angry eyebrows but that's still closer to wholesome uwu than it is to vile i feel like you need a tongue sticking out so a greater than colon tongue like a Well, it's not a tongue on your keyboard. Sorry, greater than colon P? Yeah, like an uppercase P. Oh, a pushy P.

What? There's this guy called Donald Chip Poe. I don't know his last name. Dude, is this your segue, Panda? This is my fucking segue. That was actually kind of genius, to be honest with you. What, just going straight in? Well, because from the colon P

to... It's not important. Go ahead. Take the floor. The floor is yours, man. I'm going to pee on the floor. Dude! This guy has made headlines in 2016 because he sent the police a selfie because he didn't like his mugshot. Really?

So, like, how did he send the selfie like did he have a cell phone in jail i think i think he just sent it to their their facebook page but how did he take it like in jail like did that jail allow cell phones i have no idea so wait what what did like why was his mug Okay, okay, so the police posted it on their Facebook page, his mugshot, but then he didn't like that picture, so then he posted a selfie of his own. So wait, so how, though? But, like, once you take the mugshot, doesn't that mean you're, like, in? Like, you take the mugshot, and then they take you to the holding cell, right?

It says he texted a photo of himself and asked them to use that instead. So maybe that's what he used his final phone call for. I guess, because I remember when Donald Trump was going through the whole recent fiasco, they were talking about, oh, maybe he'll take a mugshot. But he never ended up doing that, obviously. Because he's rich and powerful. But I guess there's ways where you could get a mugshot

taken but then not go into like a holding cell or something i don't know fully how it works from uh maybe it was from like a previous encounter with the police you know like oh like maybe he was freed okay so what what happened was he was he was free Previously he had a mugshot with the police because he was previously indicted for a crime. But then he did something and they were looking for him and they used his mugshot and he didn't like the picture they used

so he asked them to use a selfie he sent them. Lima, Peru. What? Yeah. So like did he get in trouble for sending a What? Yeah. So did he get in trouble for sending a selfie? Did he get pissed off and then go to his house and then bring out the SWAT team and then bang through the door and shoot his wife and kids? I mean, if I was a fucking filthy pig, I'd probably be like, oh, it pisses me off. Dude, you know what I saw?

I saw this guy on TikTok who's like this lawyer who wears a bunch of rings on his hand. And they're like oversized rings. And he has like a, I think it's like hair implants or like a comb over. But it's like, maybe it's a wig. And he's got like pearl bright white teeth. Like, he's very, like, I want you to picture. Did you just smile with your teeth shown what okay i thought i heard a little like sound like you were like he had full white teeth and

then you opened your mouth fully and like showed your teeth as if oh no no no okay that would have been really funny yeah that would have been kind of funny but i want you to picture like a saul goodman type at the peak of being saul goodman and he's got like a deep southern accent and he was saying um that uh during your mugshot do whatever you can to just like not smile because if you are put on jury duty or sorry if you are on jury and the jurors see you smiling um that can be used as evidence against you being remorseful and stuff so like the the prosecution can submit your mugshot as evidence that you are not remorseful and uh they can like get you a stricter sentence and stuff that's bullshit man you know because like what if you have just been through all the stages like you're remorseful and then then you got over it, and then you're a new man, and now you're happy.

And that's why you're smiling in the mugshot. Yeah, but imagine you get, I don't know, brought in because you committed vehicular manslaughter, and you're just smiling in your mugshot. Well, maybe you just thought of a funny joke yeah yeah but if you think of a funny joke in that moment do you really deserve a lighter punishment i think so i feel like if you're in such a terrible scenario like that you're like okay i'm really sad right now i must think of a funny joke so i can smile yeah i mean a panda would be smiling in his mugshot dude that would go so hard as a profile picture just smiling dude who is who is the guy who got a mugshot taken a few years ago and everyone was saying like oh this is like the hottest criminal ever his eyes are so beautiful

about that like what if he killed a bunch of people yeah like so hot i don't get it that became a whole trend actually there. There was a whole Facebook group or whatever about it, like hot mugshots. It's kind of weird. Do you get it? I don't get it. I get it, but I think it's just kind of weird. I think if Mika had hot mugshot,

I'd probably... I don't know. What could you do? I'd love it. Okay. What if I used my own mugshot as an album cover you so you have to like get a mugshot first yeah you know how i would get a mugshot you know what crime i would commit what i would steal a bunch of gummy worms from 7-eleven oh you got to be careful though man man. Honestly, yeah.

If you steal too many, it could get really expensive. That's honestly a great idea. Who's going to what judge is going to be like, you stole a fucking Hershey bar. Why am I going to actually get mad at you? Meanwhile, you still get a cool picture. Yeah, I've got

no criminal record. I've got no priors but what if you like what if you it leads to something worse like you enjoy the uh the thrill of stealing that gummy worm that it becomes habitual yeah you just start stealing them all the time dude okay can i tell you something no oh okay you tell Panda. I'm closing my ears. Panda, can I tell you something? Yeah. La, la, la, la, la. When I was younger, I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to just take gummy worms from the boxes at 7-Eleven. Dude, you are going to jail.

Life imprisonment for your ass. No, no, no. I was like six or seven. I didn't know that you had to pay for them i was like oh there's just a box of gummy worms here so i just like ate some dude that it's over for you i can't associate with anymore i cannot associate with criminals i don't want to be on a list yeah and then uh when i was 12 sometimes they would have like uh they would have like chocolate eggs out um at my grocery store they would just be in a big bundle and i would just like chocolate eggs out at my grocery store.

They would just be in a big bundle and I would just like take one and eat one in the store. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't, you're like a different person. This is honestly disgusting. Yes. I don't know what to do.

Can someone come take my mugshot? Dude, I know. You're not getting a mugshot. You, this is the Mika I know. You're not getting a mugshot. You're getting, like, airstriped. Death sentence. This is over, dude. I'm getting SEAL Team 6'd.

Yeah, you suck, man. You guys, you're evil. Mika, you know what you do? You probably go to the grocery store and you pick grapes when no one's looking. No, I don't do that anymore. I don't do that anymore. Anymore? So anymore the most anymore so you did that as well no no no because i was you know thinking about taking chocolate eggs from a bin i don't take things from the grocery store without paying for them anymore but sometimes what i have done is uh i've got like gotten a bottle and then i've like drank

it in the grocery store and then paid for the empty bottle oh yeah i mean that's fine okay yeah that's based yeah i feel like uh i don't know it's just fun to do that it feels like you're breaking the rules but you're not you know no it's like the thrill it is a thrill what if you spend like all day in the grocery store just like eating all these meals so like by the time you get to the cash register you just have like 30 empty boxes dude okay life hack uh just never leave the grocery store just like section out and you never have to pay yeah have you seen the movie with tom hanks where he just lives in an airport because he he's like for i don't know something happens i don't remember why but you could just like section off a little corner of the grocery store or like you could like live in the stocking shelves where no one will find you yeah they used to make videos about that remember that yeah behind the big paper

towel rolls oh yeah no no no dude i spent one night in walmart you could like hide behind like i don't know like canned prunes like no one's ever restocking the canned prunes right so they're never gonna check back there and you just like you come out get your meals and then they're like oh hey what are you doing you're like oh i'm gonna pay for this on my way out and then you just like go back to your hiding spot it's like a free food shade man that's prune beef that's fucked up everybody loves prunes you like prunes dude no i don't but somebody's got to be behind him panda do you like prunes man i'm a prune for prunes you're a prude a prude prune so like um do you guys want to like fight to the death okay yeah i was thinking uh i will use... You missed.

Nice try. Nope. What is he aiming for? Are you even trying to hit me, dude? Astro, look behind you. Oh, shit! That's right. I punched out all the support beams of that cliff, and now the rocks are going to fall on you.

See, but this is where you just fell into my trap because i can make the boulders go right through me i can turn invisible and translucent oh look they're flying through me uh you just fell into my trap because guess what i wasn't trying to hit you astro what i was trying to make the ground beneath you fall which it is and you're falling right into an invisible nuclear catcher thing but that's where i swoop in and save astro and put him back on the same playing field as oh my savior i thought we were fighting to the death panda i'm back and this time watching i have a bigger weapon mika check this. And then I get into a mecha suit.

Like it's like an Evangelion, but it has like 30 AK-47s, like giant AK-47s like duct taped to it. Check this out. Mika, you cannot survive that. Yeah, I would say at that point, like probably the bullets would fly through me like Swiss cheese. You can't just say that. Like, is that your power or is that just what you want to say?

No, no, no. Like the bullets have like turned me into Swiss cheese. Oh, OK. You're dead. Yeah. But the thing is, you see my trap actually because. So are you talking like as like the narrator or are you talking in the situation because you're dead in the situation? I'm talking as myself because I'm not dead because.

You said you turned into swiss cheese yeah when you turned me into swiss cheese that actually just like like created like hundreds of me you split in a little mikas yeah exactly and then i like shit and then i climb up the legs of your mech and start like no no no actually no because i put up my at field and you can't break that you need a high powered weapon I am the weapon and I punch through it and I start gnawing on your wires and then your mech starts malfunctioning and it starts like zapping you

and then Panda Panda what do you do here I pull my babe and I start fucking her on the battlefield dude on the battlefield so I'm looking at his babe right now in the hypothetical

and my eyes are popping out of my head and I'm like damn and so I'm like distracted from the fight and then I catch one of that and I become a big strong macho man I'm like are you looking at my babe I'm like no no a panda And then I walk

over slowly and every step makes little cracks in the ground you don't want this and I'm all shriveled I'm like I'm like a tiny little scrawny thing and you pick me up by my throat by the top of my shirt yeah and then I'm like

I better not ever catch you doing that again i'm sorry sir and then i throw you and then i fly through but this is my secret power-up because when i reach when i reach a certain speed i turn into a jet fighter plane like a transformer and then i start firing at all of you even your babe. And I pierce your babe through the head with a jet fighter shot. See, I actually predicted you doing this. No! And my babe turns into armor that I wear on myself. Your babe is an Evangelion, Mick?

God damn it! I concede. White flag. Now it's just me and you, Mika. We either alliance or we become enemies. Alright, what would happen if we did have an alliance? If we had an alliance, we could have a tea party.

Okay, I'm down for a tea party. But if we fight, I get to take your wallet. Okay. I would choose the tea party. It just seems like a no-brainer in this situation. Alright. I'll be a pacifist psych and then i steal your wall and kill you dude my god yeah i mean there's only you could kill one of me but you can't kill all hundreds of me and i would do the same thing i would just like i would like crawl into your mech suit and i would

like gnaw on the wires and then i would start like gnawing on your it's a girl it's a babe she doesn't have wires no because panda said that that it was actually like a suit well it's actually like uh jake the dog and how jake the dog can transform around someone so it's like a living suit so so how are you breathing in this suit um say nanobots nanobots yeah so what actually what i can do is i i'm actually i'm actually a hacker and i have one of the small me's hack into the mainframe and start malfunctioning the nanobots so that they start eating you from the inside out no because actually i had a program that secretly went off when i died and it's me in the afterlife but i'm just in the code and my only purpose is to stop incoming hacks yeah i see i predicted that and i bribed god to send you to hell so you're actually god yeah so you're actually burning in hell actually the writers went to shit

well well right as mika was about to kill me i i envisioned I had a memory. I had a flashback of Astro dying in my arms. And then in the strongest power-up ever, my muscles became even bigger. My hair changed into a million colors. And then I grabbed you, Mika, and I said, any last words? And I hold a fist to your frickin' face. Frickin' face.

Okay, so you splatted one of me but like the other one is the other ones are still like hacking and gnawing at you so what then i use my laser vision and laser all of them all of you okay so fair enough but one of them survives and builds an underground colony where they they form like an army of ants like an ant man but they're gigantic and uh how are they big now how do they do that 150 years later the super ants and and the little mika will come out and overthrow your kingdom and then say like this is because you didn't want to have a tea party and then like literally the planet will become overrun with like giant ants that are like actually really friendly and chill and like they like uh they're

like super into like reggae and like um they they like uh energy drinks and stuff. The big ants and the little Mika. Here's the thing. By the time that happens, I would die from natural causes. No, you wouldn't because I'd keep you alive. And all the offspring of me, they would be completely innocent. So you would be killing innocent things. No, you're evil

now. You're the villain. You're getting twisted, dude. I would keep you alive and make sure you wouldn't have any offspring. What the fuck? I'm having offspring, Mika. I would be making it work. You're just one little Mika and he has two big balls. You're not preventing that, man.

I would. Well, I... Checkmate. Checkmate. Panda wins, to be honest. If you could invite three people to a tea party alive or dead who would you invite because we got on the topic of tea parties like who would you bring a tea party yeah they could be anyone uh mr t okay the ceo the ceo of lipton tea of Lipton Tea. Okay. And yeah, T-Series.

T-Series, the YouTube channel? Yeah, just whoever's involved in that. The Indian conglomerate YouTube channel? Yeah, like all of those guys. Or Panda, who are you inviting to the tea party? Chris Chan, Malcolm X, and

Andrew Tate. That is the actually nightmare blunt rotation. Okay, tell me you would not watch that. I would watch it for sure. Exactly. I mean, Mika, can I record this tea party? Tea party.

Yeah, I mean, you can. I would post it everywhere, and I get so much money, so many views, so much everything. I guess that's true. No, I mean, you can. I would post it everywhere and I get so much money, so many views, so much everything. I guess that's true. It's. But no, I mean, he's right. Like that would make a lot of money. It would.

But like, why, though? You know, because it's so insane. Like, just so insane. Yeah. Damn. I mean, fair enough. Wait, Mika, if you could have any any invisible like imaginary or like fictional characters for a tea party who would that be oh man i don't know i gotta think about it um i'd bring uh

mr peanut from like like the on the peanut you know the the what the hell's wrong with you man mr peanut yeah the brand ambassador for that peanuts that guy looks like a bastard yeah but hear me out then i would bring uh the kool-aid man dude this is horrible he's gonna wreck your shit and then i would bring the pringles man that is the that's actually worse than pandas and and the the funny thing is, they would all start talking about, like, post-capitalism. And they would all start talking about how to, like, corner the food market. Okay. And then that's when I would come in with a tank.

Okay. And I would make sure their plans never came to fruition. Which part of the lore is this? Is this before or after the battle of Astra, Mika, and Panda? This is, uh... It's like when you're tiny, like in the underground, or like the little Mika,

or is this when you're still big Mika? This is like in between when I'm tiny and big. This is like a... Yeah, when you and Panda were fighting, I just like went off to the side. Wow. Yeah. You're powerful man thanks man i looked up uh mr peanut yeah man and panda's really gonna like this you're not gonna like this though mika i uh i went to the 10th image and it's mr penis what and and it's like mr peanut but he's shaped like a penis

can i see that yeah let me dm you man can we put this on the screen no we really can't we can't but look at that do you see it uh uh i jammed it to you man okay we can definitely put that on screen no way dude i kind of like don't want to see it could you like describe it to me so it's a penis think of a penis it's a yellow penis i actually don't know why i asked in the style of mr peanut but his hat says mr penis in case you didn't know in case you didn't know it was mr is that trademarked look at that mr penis yo oh okay okay wait um make a make a food mascot right now for any like any food thing that you want okay um like chocolate but in the shape of like a piece of shit okay and the mascot is like a dog who's like really

constipated like in the commercials he's always like you know it's like 30 seconds and he can't do it and finally lets it out and like there's like confetti it's like 30 seconds and he can't do it and finally lets it out and like there's like confetti it's like yeah and they're like doggy chocolate the the shit shitty the least shitty i don't know i don't know the slogan so the mascot is a constipated dog yeah dude that's awesome what's his name um like poo like like p-o-o-h yeah like wendy the poo okay panda what what would your food mascot be it would probably be a carved turtle with no innards but it has all its like like carcass and all its dead shit on the on the side yeah yeah that makes sense damn what's the product yeah that is vile i i guess like the turtle shell and you can use it as like a cereal bowl

pasta dude that is so that is so illegal on so many levels it's so raw i don't know what you're talking about dude i'm pretty sure it's illegal to even have a turtle shell in your possession. We can do a collaboration. It's a commercial where we're eating the dog shit out of your turtle bowl. Mmm. Right? It's like the worst thing

I think I've ever heard in my life. What's your product, Vika? If ours is so bad, huh? I don't think mine is gonna be any better because i haven't thought about it yet could i could i have like a moment you have 30 seconds okay it's just so flipping unprofessional man here we'll play some elevator music too sorry i was watching uh what's that one show that we watched in a react it was the fucking oh kim kardashian no it was like a ratatouille no it was wiggles fucking no it's the wiggles you know oh um chris hansen or

something jim harrison jim harrison you're just saying words okay who's that one guy Jim Harrison Rick Harrison are you talking about Pawn Stars yes we're watching Pawn Stars I was just watching it in my own leisurely time I was like okay I kind of like this and this guy brought in a turtle shell guitar where it's just a guitar but like

the base of it was a turtle shell and he was like I'm looking to sell this and then they're like dude this is actually illegal yeah my my mascot i figure there isn't a mascot for takis yet right okay so it's gonna be nick avocado no no no it's gonna be even better it's gonna be even better my mascot would would be just like an unfolded talkie. Okay. And their whole thing is when they eat a talkie, they get folded. And then there's like flames that shoot out of their ears.

Oh, wow. Yeah. I can see that going hard, like a 2001 commercial with like shitty 3D. Yeah. It's like talkies make you fold. Yeah, that's wow, man. Thanks, man. And it's got like really thin, like cartoon black legs and arms, but like big gloves and like big comedic shoes.

Yeah, but like the constipated dog or like the turtle shell. I think we're a little more realistic. Mika, it got folded? It got in a fight? It got folded, man. It lost the fight against the capson. Shit, man. You know what other fight you could lose?

The fight against your wallet. And the urge to pay for the Sleepless Pride Patreon. Which we're now going to go to now yeah tell them what we're gonna leave you tell them what they get for going i don't know like some like some shows and like discord server and like a minecraft you get extra shows the podcast doubles in length and every one of you yeah yeah sure all right baba booey baba booey