Sleep Deprived Podcast - A.I. Art SUCKS - SDP #88

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

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now everybody recording sorry hey everybody welcome back to sleep deprived podcast oh my god look how much less enthusiastic he sounds now i don't even care anymore great you know just interrupt me every time i start yeah you know what maybe i shouldn't have came back uh we got back everybody we revived that puppet is working maybe it'd be better if I just, you know, stop doing the podcast, huh? Should I stop doing it? Hey, no.

Don't do that. No, no. Oh, yeah? Why? Because you're so sexy. Yeah. I'm not sexy. Matt Damon is sexy.

Who's Matt Damon? I don't think so. I don't know. Especially in Interstellar when he's all that's not torn up i mean oh no he is an interstellar he's like beat up conventionally attractive at most i yeah i don't find him attractive at all to be honest just looks like a decent guy but fine you must like Timothy Chalamet, you liberal. Timothy Chalamet.

I'm going to be honest with you. Listen, he's a great actor. Oh, he's hot. Fuck you. He's hot. No, he's not. He's hot. He's literally hot.

No, no, no. Whatever, man. Listen, I'm not going to judge a guy based on his appearance, but he did such a good job in Lady Bird that just whenever I see him on screen I just have a very visceral hateful reaction honestly I think the guy who played the Green Goblin is hot, that's my type

like in Spider-Man Willem Dafoe, I think Willem Dafoe is hot wow, that's an interesting one you don't agree? no but you know what we can't all agree on? Wow. That's an interesting one. You don't agree? No. Oh. But you know what we can all agree on? What?

The podcast episodes come out a day early for audio listeners. So true. That is so true. And Patreoners. And Patreon, yeah. And Timothy Chalamet was hot in Bones and All. What do you mean he's hot in one movie and not hot in another? Whatever.

I'm done, dude. Sorry. Matt Damon was only sexy inones and All. What do you mean he's hot in one movie and not hot? Whatever. I'm done, dude. Sorry. Matt Damon was only sexy in Interstellar. I like a man who turns on everybody. He's like horrible in that movie. He's like a complete piece of shit.

Dude, he's been alone for 30 years. What are you talking about? Fuck that guy. He just wants to get home. I hate him. Kind of like a space dick. What? You did not... You don't say words like that usually.

So, Schlatt, you're back. Why were you gone last week? What happened? I have no idea. We shot him, remember? I was shot. Yeah, you're back. Why were you gone last week? What happened? I have no idea. We shot him, remember? Oh, shot. Yeah, we shot him. I got shot.

Why'd you shoot me? I thought we decided that we didn't shoot Schlatt. We didn't? Okay. You didn't shoot me? I gotta check the lore. Ah, we strangled you to death. That's what it was.

Oh, right. So why did you do that? Well, there was a whole dispute. Miko was kind of angry at you. Yeah, why did you do that, Astro? And then, so I put my hands on you, and it was hard. It was hard. I didn't want to do it. But, luckily,

What was hard? Nothing. A panda found the serum, and we revived Schlatt with the help of Fauci's knowledge. You know how, how like mama birds spit food into their baby bird's mouths? I did that to you, Schlatt. It was a little like that. It was really gross. With the serum. Because I had to chew up

the serum. You do what you have to do. Yeah. And so I don't blame you. And it was like mouth to mouth. Yeah. Tongue to tongue. And you know what? I'd do it again okay i mean if that happened again i would have to save your life so i would have to do that again it was kind of something to watch it was like a panda like put his mouth on schlatt and was like throwing up into schlatt's

yeah and there was a lot of tongue involved too yeah well the tongue has a lot of tongue involved, too. Yeah. Well, the tongue has a lot of microbes that need to be directly passed to the other tongue. That's disgusting. That's really gross. Hey, man. I just know the science. Trust the science. So, guys, the holidays are coming. And we thought it would be cool to bring Santa on to the Sleep Deprived podcast.

Luckily, Schlatt has this connection. Yeah, so let me go get him. I tapped into the Rolodex. I flipped through the Rolodex because I literally have a Rolodex on my desk. It's got a bunch of names and numbers and email addresses. And Santa's email, it's funny. He actually uses ProtonMail. Wow. Yeah. email addresses and santa's email it's funny he actually he uses proton mail wow yeah he's really like he's really conscientious about his online security hey on your rolodex can you go down to e

yeah last name e yeah e e p is anything there p um hold on there's a lot actually because it is a rolodex yeah that's the point of a rolodex can you narrow it down for me a little bit hey santa hello wow resist i'm so excited to see you i i'm so excited for christmas i put so many things on my list Santa can I sit on your lap Stop stop stop Santa I want to sit on your lap Anyone is welcome to sit on my lap Don't ruin it

Dude what if a babe sat on Santa's lap And he got a boner He doesn't do that he's pure That doesn't happen I'm faithfully married To Mrs. Claus So Santa, you've never Even thought about it I'm faithfully married

To Mrs. Claus I feel like Santa could pull in mad hoes Yeah, there's not like a hot elf you saw I don't like that disrespectful language. Oh, you know I'd be pulling in mad bitches. I don't like that

disrespectful language. I prefer to treat women with respect. No, I changed my mind. I love coochie. I love pussy. Why did I come on here? There's two Santas now that are fighting. There's two Santas?

Hey, hey bro, what's good? Why did I come on here? There's sort of like a regular Santa and like a cooler Santa. Other, other Santa, I'm gonna give you coal. Cause this isn't true. What are you, Obama? What? I'm, I'm not Obama.

You kinda sound like Obama a little bit. You're sounding a lot like Obama. Hey, Santa. Eat one of these cookies I prepared. Oh, thank you, asterisk. Take a bite. I sure will. Right now.

Take one right now. All right, I am. I want to hear the crunch. Okay, asterisk bites cookie asterisk. There was fentanyl in that. Oh! He got your fucking ass.

You're so silly. Don't you know that fentanyl is the only thing that gets me through the Christmas delivery night? What? This stuff is like my, uh, this is my five-hour energy there, bud.

And I'm Mrs. Claus, and this is true. That is not at all what my wife sounds like. Yes, I do something like this. Hey, Mrs. Claus. Why did you, uh, invite me onto this podcast? You're just doing awful interpretation. Hold on, Santa, be quiet for a second.

Mrs. Claus, hey. I gotta change your voice. Yeah. Okay, never. I was gonna ask you out on a date, but I'm a little less attracted. Oh, I'll go on a date. Hey, bud, I'm right here. Why don't you slow your roll, jackass? Santa,

fuck you, Santa. I fuck all the elves when you're not looking. What? All of them. It's a team. They come in one after another. Slat, how was your week, man? Bop. Bop.

My week was great. After being resuscitated, I went on a walkabout. Oh, wow. Yeah, like John Locke does in Lost. After he says, don't tell me what I can't do. And then he gets on the plane to go on his walkabout. And the plane crashes. And he can walk again on this island.

Why am I here? Can I just go? No, you're stuck here. We paid you for an hour. So just sit down. So did you see anything cool on the walkabout? Polar bear. Oh, wow. Yeah. here we paid you for an hour so just sit down so did you see anything cool on the walkabout there uh polar bear oh wow yeah that's awesome we got some of those where i'm from maybe you knew him santa santa we're gonna kill you not right now so polar bear shut the fuck up yeah but this cowboy guy shot him dude just stop we paid you just okay

yeah the uh the the cowboy guy shot him oh yeah that must have been really sad no but it's fine because we we discovered that on this island there was like a whole company that was experimenting on polar bears. Okay. What were they doing? I don't know. Doing all kinds of fun tests on them. Wow. Was it Elon?

I don't know. But hasn't Neuralink actually like killed like a thousand animals? Yeah, like they kill monkeys a lot. What's going on with that? I don't know. Santa, is he getting coal this year? Who? Elon Musk? Yeah,anta is he getting coal this year who elon musk yeah is elon musk getting coal this year oh you know uh oh santa's canadian a lot worse than that oh you know a lot worse than that so like what how what's worth killing a monkey for for

scientific experiments? What do you have to figure out? He's trying to get it so you can play Minecraft in your brain. What's the bare minimum of scientific discovery necessary to kill a monkey for? Minecraft in your brain, dude. Like, he gets to the,

it like boots up the loading screen and he's like, oh, we got 75% of the way there this time before it died. Jenny mod, and you're just in your head. Oh, Jenny mod in your head would be pretty sick. Oh, man, that'd be great. That's worth all the monkeys in the world. Santa, if we did a lot of Jenny mod this year, is that still cool?

Do we still get presents? You know... Why is santa getting new york now you know i guess if you're not hurting anyone oh but uh you know maybe you should go outside and touch some grass hey what the fuck man fuck you Santa. You're supposed to be nice. I am nice. I'm giving you good advice for life. That's not good advice. I want to fuck Jenny all day, and you're telling me I can't do that. I just think you should

consider that, uh, maybe that's not so good for you Santa, I'm gonna fuck Mrs. Claus right in front of you. Whoa. Okay, you know what? I think, uh... What are you gonna do about it, Santa, huh? I think I'm never gonna give you a present again. Ever.

Fuck you, Santa. So, like, now that you're here, like, what's the limit on the gifts I can get? Like, how high can I go? What's my budget here? Because I was thinking of getting, like, a new, like, liquid-cooled, like, Star Forge PC. They run pretty high, though, so is that cool? Can I get that? Oh oh yeah you know you sure can okay if you're from uh uh you know

can i go very like you've got to take into account the socio-economic status he's a little out of it political Political climate. Can I get a car? Like, can I go up to a car? You know, if we gave everyone cars, that probably wouldn't be too good for the environment. That's fine, but what about just me? Can I just have one? I've been really good.

You know, if I gave everyone a car, then everyone would get a car. Can I? Okay. So why don't we talk about the fucking thousands of elves you have locked up Damn! Yeah, yeah Hey hold on! Yeah, yeah Hey hold on!

Unpaid labor! They wanna be there, you know? Oh, they wanna be there! Oh, really interesting! So you care about the environment all this, you don't have much greenwashing, and then when it comes down to it, you're not even paying your workers.

Really interesting. Two years of paid maternity leave, huh? Why are you busting my nuts over something like that? Okay, so what if the elves want to unionize? Is that okay? Of course, they are unionized. Really? Yeah, what do you think we'd...

They are unionized. Santa, Santa,'t believe that. They are unionized. Santa, Santa, I've seen your workshops. They slave away. They look like they're about to pass out. Santa, Santa, I've seen the buildings. They have spider webs outside, so if they want to jump off, they don't die. You're from a real elf right now? I've got one right here.

Timmy, come up here. Oh, God. Santa, why does Timmy have a gun to his head? Hey, guys, it's me. I'm one of Santa's elves. Timmy, come on. We'll help you get out. Escape while you can. Oh, I don't want to. I really like working for Santa, actually. Wait, wait, Santa, so you condition

the elves to do this awful labor? I'm not Santa. I'm Timmy, the elf. This elf is under MKUltra brainwashing. Facts. Uh, no, I just, I just like making toys for all the good girls and boys. He's starting to become Jordan Peterson again.

No, that's just not true! I think that man is rather vile! I knew it! So he's he's working you to death. Wait, Elf, what do you do? No, I was talking about Jordan Peterson. I think Santa's great! Here, Mr. Elf, what do you do? No, I was talking about Jordan Peterson. I think Santa's great. Here, Mr. Elf, what do you do in your free time?

What do you do for fun? Oh, um, I like to drink eggnog at the local tavern. Uh, you know, talk to Sally. Sally? Who's Sally? Oh, you know, Sally is, uh, I'm just, uh, you know, I'm kind of interested in her, but, you know, I don't think she's really interested in me, so. Is she thick? Is she

fun? Is she an elf? She's a fellow elf, yeah. Does she have big boobs? I don't really, I don't really like talking about that. Does she have a fat ass? Mr. Elf, eh? She probably got the fatty. I think you're pretty disrespectful. Nah, she got the fatty, I know it.

I think Santa's gonna give you some coal. We're the same in a lot of ways. That's why you need to kill Santa. I think you're disgusting. You need to kill Santa. I think you're awful. I'm gonna step on you. I'm gonna step on you right now. You're like one foot tall. I'm just gonna step on you.

Who's the leader of this operation? Oh, that would be Schlatt right over there. What are you talking about? I got nothing to do with this. This is how you treat your guests. What are you talking about? This is not my property. This is not my property.

This is all Schlatt. Oh, you're calling me property now? Whoa. Oh, my God. Holy shit. I'm not your property, huh? Holy shit, man. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I know nothing about this. I'm here on vacation. Oh. Okay. Alright, can you bring Santa back? Yeah, bring your daddy back, please. Okay. Santa! Wow.

Oh, my God. Hey, guys. Hey, that elf sounds a little rattled at the end. Yeah, he sounded a little mad at you, dude. Is he okay? Are you sure that... Oh, yeah, he loves working for me. So, Santa, why are there suicide nets on the outside of your building?

It's a good point. I don't have any of those. I saw a noose in the closet. I saw a noose that was six inches off the ground because the elves are so short. It was made out of ribbon, Santa. A noose made out of ribbon.

I'd really like to know who gave you that information, bud. I saw an elf wrapped up in gift wrap inside a pool of water. He had drowned himself. Can you explain that? In eggnog. I'd really like to know who gave you that information. Is there a reason why all the reindeer are, like, barely able to walk because they're, like, jacked up?

Okay, you know, I came onto this podcast in good faith. I thought this was going to, you know, just be a question and answer with Santa, and I have had it with this. I'm leaving. I'm going. All right, whatever, man. All right, see you, Santa. I can't believe this bullshit. Is that still Santa?

No, Santa, come back. No, man, I don't want to come back. This is stupid. No, Santa, you can't. We booked you. No, this was dumb, man. No, man, I don't want to come back. This is stupid. No, Santa, you can't. We booked you. No, this was dumb, man. Ho, ho, ho. I'm gone.

Wow. That was... Hey, guys, I'm back. There's a lot to unpack there. Yeah. Wow. How'd it go? So you were just kind of sitting in the back while he was on your computer?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was intense, man. He was really hard to be around. Yeah. The way he treated his employees was just fucked up. Yeah, next time if you could vet the guests a little bit harder, that'd be good, because that was probably one of our worst guests yet.

Well, I mean, you know, I... I mean, Schlatt, I I mean, Schlatt, I didn't have anything to... What are you talking to me about this for? I have nothing to do with this. Schlatt, you were, to be fair, you were the connection. You're the reason that... That's not my problem.

Everybody's in my Rolodex. There's some very bad people in this Rolodex. Can we look at the H section? Wait, what color is it? Is it a black book? It's a in this rolodex can you look at the h section what wait what color is it is it a black book it's a black rolodex with the white paper and that's how it that's what every rolodex looks like what is a rolodex for the uh great uninitiated how am i even supposed like that i'm just on a whole nother level if you don't even know what a rolodex is i'm on a new level it's the

management and workspace organization solution this is where you put all your contacts is that wait rolodex stands for management and workplace i don't think the letters line up when did i say it was a fucking acronym i don't think it lines up so it's's Ma and then... I'm pissed. I'm pissed at you. I'm pissed at you, and I'm not doing the pod. Wait, are you friends with the Clintons? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you friends with the Clintons? Are they in the Rolodex?

I'm... Listen, it does not mean that I'm friends with them. Okay, you just might have had contact with them at one point. It says they've been on a few flights of yours, from what I'm seeing. I don't know what you're talking about. No, I don't know what you're talking about. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. Anyway, Donald Trump came out with some NFTs

recently. He did. What are they? I thought he said NFTs were stupid. He was like, he announced his presidency, and then he didn't say anything for like a month, and then he's like, big for like a month and then he's like big announcement and it reaches the morning and he puts out a video he put out a line of nfts like

one year late these are epic they're pretty funny they're like photoshopped by a clearly like a high school student basically these images are just really Jack Donald Trump, like a superhero. Can I see these? Like, is this real? He looks fucking epic. Yeah, it actually is real. Oh my lord. These are ugly as shit. It's somehow worse than the average NFT.

And that's a pretty low bar. Wow. These look pretty bad. I think these look epic. Are you going to buy one? I like what you're talking about. Only $99 a panda. Psh.

Might as well. There's no way he's that ripped. What if he was? What if Donald Trump was that ripped? I don't think so, you know? Would you run your fingers down his abs? No, I don't think so. Would you twirl your finger around his areola or whatever that thing is called?

Ew, dude, what the fuck? What? I'm not running my finger around Donald Trump's areola. whatever that thing is called. Ew, dude, what the fuck? What? I'm not running my finger around Donald Trump's areola. What are you talking about? Yeah, it's a little strange. If he was ripped, though. He kind of ripped you off, Astro. You know how your whole shtick is like being in a spacesuit?

He has an NFT where he's in a spacesuit. I did put a copyright on spacesuits this is actually astro before he turned to a skeleton that is really that is slander that looks nothing this is the lore someone add this to the astro system before dying i was donald trump if he dude if you were Donald Trump before dying, I would be really disappointed. Would you still be friends with me? I don't know. What if I gave you some money?

I'll give you one of my towers. You can't buy my friendship with money. Really? Yeah. I think there's an amount. You could buy mine. What's everyone's dollar amount here to buy your

friendship? We should go in order. Okay. A million. A million dollars to become friends? No. That's a good amount, I'd say. 10,000. I'd do it for a million. I'd do it for $10,000.

That's low. To be friends with Mika? Maybe like $2,000. Oh, for Mika? Yeah. Oh, way higher than that. No, no, for everyone. No, no, no, for everyone.

I mean... Wait, you... For me to be your... If I'm paying you, you would want $2,000,000? I didn't say that, no. Yeah. How much am i you would you would raise the cost for me to be your friend if i was buying your friendship oh man wow wow okay

that's how much you how much would you guys pay for my friendship oh that's gonna be i don't know if there's a number because it it's so high, right? Because I would not want to... You'd have to give me a lot of money. I don't actually think there's a... Yeah, there's not a number. Because I'm worth so much. That's one way to...

Yeah, that's sure. We'll look at it that way. What? Yeah. So, guys... one way to look. Yeah, that's sure. We'll look at it that way. All right. Yeah. So guys, sorry, go ahead. Mika. Yeah. I love you. So that NFT guy got jailed.

Yeah, those NFTs, crazy. But that crypto guy that stole the cryptos in jail, right? What? Yeah, that's crazy. But that crypto guy that stole the cryptos in jail, right? What? Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, the NFT. Dude, he's the crypto guy. He's not the NFT guy. I don't know why you wrote NFT guy, Opana.

Yeah, no. I'm sorry, guys. I messed up. This is what happens to crypto people. You buy one crypto coin, you get thrown in the slammer, you know? That's how it is. So, guys, what kind of holiday plans

do you have going on? What are you guys getting up to for the holidays? I think I'm going to cum. Pfft! Pfft! You know, I'm gonna buy a lot of AI art

and I'm gonna start killing every artist I see. They should know that AI art is so much superior. I think that's a pretty terrible opinion. I'm gonna kill them all. I think that's a horrible opinion. AI art'm going to kill them all. I think that's a horrible opinion.

AI art is way better. It's really messed up. Yeah. It is. It can be better in most cases, and it is better. And I think it should be valuable. Okay. Is that how you really feel?

You would kill artists like I would, right? Yeah. Okay, so just as an example, we have an artist that does our thumbnails, so... Oh, wait, wait, wait. Well, I'd start with the bad ones. Okay. Wow. I think that's a pretty terrible opinion also.

Why? a pretty terrible opinion also why well because i think that uh i think art is in the eye of the beholder and anyone can make art and uh i don't think anyone should be killed what about oh mika what about the people that made the trump nfts um i don't think they should be killed but i think they should rethink their decisions so you think it's high art um no i i think to me like i just i don't care for it you know it looks like it was ai art generated actually i one day i really hope i could just uh you know like type into chat gpt make me a jay schlatt video wow it'll do it and then i could post it that would be pretty sick You know, like, type into chat GPT, make me a Jay Schlepp video. Wow. And it'll do it, and then I could post it.

That would be pretty sick. Yeah, right? But then everybody else could do that, too, and I mean... True. It would be special. Yeah, but then I would post all of them. Yeah. Yeah, but if everyone else could do it, then there would be no point in watching it.

Then I'd get really popular. I'd get really popular, though. Right? But then everyone would be really popular, right? Sure. Maybe. But I'd probably be popular, too. I think you have to start innovating. No.

Innovating doesn't actually get you views. Oh, that's a good point. That is a good point. Have you used ChatGPT in your day-to-day life for anything not anything functional but uh i think it's funny what have you done with it i ask it to write me screenplays are you gonna do you have any like uh intention to turn those into movies yes i think it'd be'd be hilarious if there was like a... I don't want to share too much because

I'm going to make a video about this, I'm pretty sure. But imagine you just tell the AI what to write about and then you make what it writes about. That would be a fun video. What if you gave us like a little

teaser? No. No. Wow, okay. video yeah what if you gave us like a little a little a little teaser no no wow okay yeah okay i'm gonna ask you a question sure how should i kill my friend mika what sorry i was coughing i have some phlegm in my throat i'm just asking how i should kill you like oh okay sure yeah i i would love to know actually i've actually been looking for a way to like go wow yeah go where um it says like like you know like leave it says there are resources available that can provide me with the assistance i need to address any challenges i may be facing in a safe and healthy way that's some pussy shit. You're definitely going to get on a list somewhere, Astro.

As if I'm not already on one. Yeah, I feel like we kind of are already on a list. I think my neighbors might have even put me on a list after hearing that elf yell for Santa. Yeah, I put you on a list for that. Yeah. Block list. Yeah, I'd put you on a list for that. Yeah. Block list. Oh, okay. Um, we just have something

written here that a panda wrote called Justin Soylent Morty voice rant. Oh, God. Don't even start it. Why did you write that? What does that mean? You guys know Justin Roiland, right? The creator of Rick and Morty. He does the voices for Morty and Rick.

I mean, I'm sure you've heard his voice before because he always does his fucking Morty voice for every single role he does. Anytime he cameos in anything, he always does the annoying fucking Morty voice for fucking everything. And it pisses me off so much because I'm so fucking tired of hearing it in everything.

He was in Fish Hooks. He's in that one stupid fucking video game, he's Morty in Rick and Morty, as if you haven't heard it a thousand times enough. You just hear his voice constantly. It's so fucking annoying. He needs more voices. He does need more voices, but... Because all he does is the Morty one.

How are people not sick of the Morty one? You don't have to watch... I'm so sick of that voice. You don't have to watch the stuff he's in, you know. It just happens. He just appears in he cameos and it's always the same fucking morty voice justin soylent if you're hearing this find a new voice in soylent a panda i don't think that's his name this is really out of nowhere man i just don't under no i was thinking about it last night i'm like i'm so done with this all he does is the same voice over and over again. And nobody cares!

This is really, like, out of left field. Like, what brought this on? I wanna grab him by his fucking shoulders and shake him around and say, STOP! STOP! Anyway, it really pisses me off. What spurred this?

I just hear every role he's in, anytime he guest stars in anything, he always has this annoying voice. What is he in? He's in like two things. He's in Rick and Morty. No, bro, he's in way more. I can't think of it off the top of my head, but I already named like three. And he does the same voice. Oh, and what's that spin

off of Rick and Morty that's the green fucking aliens and nobody cares about? He does the Morty voice in that too, right? Solar opposites green fucking aliens and nobody cares about he does the morty voice in that too right opposites solar opposites doesn't he do the morty voice in that as well i like that show actually i like that show actually wow yeah but he does he does that voice in every fucking thing he's in it's like that's all he knows how to do it's like he's more comfortable doing that voice than his normal voice wow um and ever since I was a little kid, I would watch Fish Hooks. I don't know if you guys know what Fish Hooks is. It's like this cartoon, and the nerdy

guy would always have that voice. And then you hear it in Morty. And then you hear it in that stupid fucking video game people post all the time on Twitter. What video game? What are you talking about? Yeah, it's like he's literally a gun, and you never stop hearing him. He's like, oh, I'm a gun.

Look how weird I am. Morty, look. Rick, I turned into a gun. Morty, I'm gun Morty. What's this game called? High on Life. High on Life? Is that actually what it's called?

He's Morty Gun? He's a Morty Gun. Yeah, he's actually your gun, and you can't do anything about it. Just as an annoying, obnoxious voice and everything. That's awful. I think Justin Sorensen, he was also in that one sausage party, I think. Nobody watched that. Wasn't he?

I fucking love sausage party, but I hate his Morty voice. I've never heard anyone say that in my life. I've never heard anyone say I love sausage party but i hate his morty voice i've never heard anyone say that in my life i love sausage party i fucking love sausage party i just hate his fucking morty voice with that we're gonna head over to the

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