Sleep Deprived Podcast - Arrested on Christmas - SDP #140

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

the fellas talk about airplanes for 28 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey is everyone recording hey everybody welcome to the sleep deprived podcast episode 140 140 140 100 plus 40 14 plus 0 1 plus 40 as always check down the at the merch sleep your pride.co i have a show january 6th hey do you want to like uh talk a bit more about where your show is what people can expect it's getting close you're like hyping me up so much it feels uncomfortable though well you know i just want to support my friends flipping show it's gonna be flipping awesome i think we should talk more it is gonna be awesome we should talk more about uh what we got for christmas because i know we had a lot of expectations i mean mika i think you know pan and i told you we were gonna give you an

elephant a box i yeah i said i didn't want. Well, we didn't get you quite that. However, we did get you something that came from the heart. We did get you something. I think it was interesting, to say the least. I mean, what did you think about it, Mika? I thought it was reprehensible. What? I thought it was a violation of the Geneva Convention.

But what about the intestines that were spiraling out of the crate? Wasn't that interesting? What about the butt plug of the eyeballs? The butt plug of the eyeballs. That was a cool thing. Say the butt plug of eyeballs was a cool thing. It was really not. It was, uh, it was.

Because you put the butt plug in your eyeballs. You put the butt plug in your eyeballs. I'm Rick. I really, uh, I've, I've, I've told you guys countless times I'm really not into like the sexual stuff it's just like not my thing it wasn't sexual though

it wasn't it wasn't sexual Morty it was just something I made it was just something I made yeah I feel like Christmas isn't real but God isn't real I I really uh like I can appreciate the sentiment you wanted to get me a gift that's really kind of you thank you uh and I appreciate that I just feel like maybe the

like maybe it wasn't for me it was more for you because like i i like expressed that i didn't want an elf in a box and you did it you told me that you got us something today because yeah well what did you guys think about the gift i got you guys well that one was just i mean panda no geez rick Rick. I wasn't expecting Sorry, Panda is his old man Morty right now. He's an old woman Morty. I wasn't expecting this.

I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting this. Now it's March. It was the cold night of 1984. I was sitting in my own chair and then suddenly, suddenly an asteroid fell through the sky and a little Mika came poking me.

That was the day I met my man. Wowza. And so, Mika, I got a question for you. Okay. How many legs? Answer quickly. Two. How many arms?

Two. How many heads? One. How many eyes? Two. How many fingers? Ten. How many toes?

Ten. You guessed correctly. What did I guess? You win a new doll. It has the voice of old Morty. Here it is. I'm going to pull this one. Hi.

Hi. Hello. Those are all of its voice lines. What do you think? It keeps going for a bit it's low it's like it's used i i appreciate it's dying it's all trapped inside i uh i appreciate that you guys saw it i don't know why it's still going on let me kick it okay i'm hitting it inside that's not a real person that's just that's just now there's no one in there it's not my grandma tied up in rope it's just it's really just not my thing like i feel like it doesn't know your name i didn't tell it about you i didn't tell it about you i didn't tell it specifically mika with two m's instead of an i mika

it's i i don't know what's happening yeah i mean like i just it's not really it's not it's not for me i i appreciate it but like i think you should keep it i can get you a new one i know it's okay i feel like maybe there's like some sort of i'll swap it out for a different color i feel like maybe there's some kind of like miscommunication happening here i want to be touched it's not on you that's my phone I'm just really not like a fan of like the that's not blood

that's juice that's juicy juice do that amongst yourselves but like this is now a part of us it's this or nothing Mika it's just kind of like just like leave me out of it kind of deal you know what i mean how about this i'll put it in the backyard

oh it broke through do you see that there's a hole in it is it gonna get out woman it just broke through me Mika, catch it. Oh, you can't catch me. Mika, you're at it. And my blue hair. I really just don't want to be involved. Go ahead, Blanket, catch it. Do you have a cage?

Oh, my God, it's coming towards me. It might be yellow. Give me a pillow. Give me a pillow. Give me a pillow. Don't pick. Oh, my God, I'm running outside. I'm not going to touch it.

Don't you want to blow bubbles, Mika? I can show you some bubbles. It can do what it wants. I'm actually just going to remove myself from the situation. I got a blue bush. I got a blue bush. Blue. Blue, you guys.

Do you guys know the show, Bluey? We gotta put him down. Why can't you guys just, like, give me something normal, like an advent calendar? Or like a... Or like a... You don't want it?

You don't want it? Like a spork of doom or something. It's a good... Wait, hold on. Hey, hey shut up little fucker hey let's do a trick let's do a trick for him okay here watch this mika okay roll over me you want me to roll over no the pen okay see look at that isn't that good you did it you want me to have this? It's your new

fucking friend. I'm Marge. I'm Marge. It's Marge and not named after the Simpsons. That's just a coincidence. I blow hair. No. No. That's a dog.

That's a dog, not a human. Hey, homie. Hello. You're what? Oh, you're homie. Okay. Do bark. I mean... He probably is... Horny?

Yeah. I can't do bark. Mika? That's pretty good. That's actually pretty good, yeah. horny? Yeah. I can't do barks. Mika? High barks. That's actually pretty good, yeah. High bark. Do you like a skateboard trick?

Calabunga, dude. I think you flick his forehead and you start beating the shit out of him. Eat my shorts. Eat my shorts. Eat my shorts. So what shorts. Eat my shorts. So what did you guys think of what I got you for Christmas? I mean...

Well, fortunately, Asher defused the bomb. I did defuse it in time. Luckily, I had been looking up a lot of Ted Kaczynski. I looked into how he made his bombs. You guys found the bomb. Yeah. Now we're calling ourselves the bjork collective because yeah because we love that

we love that one song horrific like a hyper ballad Sometimes the wires are speaking in my head. I don't want to say what you're reminding me of. Can I say what you're reminding me of? Is it SpongeBob doing the like... It reminds me of? Is it Spongebob doing the... It reminds me of Miranda Sings. Oh, yeah. Oh. Why?

Because she does that shit with her mouth. You do a really good Miranda Sings. Yeah, that kind of shit. I can't do it. It's like Doodle Bell. I can't do it. And her fucking red lipstick is moving around like a snake. Can we please keep that in? Yeah, actually, I want to keep that in now.

Sure, yeah. We can just censor her name. No, keep the name. It's really funny. Miranda sings. Miranda sings. When I do it, it sounds like Doodle Bob, but when you do it, it sounds like Miranda sings.

You know what that kind of reminds me of? It reminds me of the Tizo Touchdown song, where at the end he's like, I'm going oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing, oing. I've never heard that, but that's funny. Yeah. Funny, funny, funny guy, Tizo Touchdown. Yeah, so the gift you got me, that's not what I wanted. Yeah. Okay, what did you...

I'm refunding this for money. Can you just... Let's just put it out there. What did I get you? A finger. A severed finger of my best friend. Wow. Pandathor.

I actually have zero memory. This is my best friend, Pandathor. I actually have zero memory of doing that. Say hello! Say hello to Pandathor! Mika, we have been working on this for weeks. Say hello to the new and amazing

Pandathor! For years! Pandathor! Hit your thing! Alrightor, hit your thing. It's my thing. Pretty good, right? Yeah. That's my friend you're talking about, so don't say anything fucked up.

I don't remember. He knows a lot of languages. I don't remember. Like lipstick. He's very smart. He's based on chat GPT, so he has the best. Yeah, he's just perfect. He knows everything.

Let me ask you the question. Hey, little Pandathor, what's three plus three? See, it's very smart. She was one separation away. She was one separation away from Filthy Frank. Wait, it's very smart. You know, she was one separation away. She was one separation away from Filthy Frank. Wait, how? What? You know how she goes like

she goes like this. It's so close. I've actually never watched a single one of her videos. Yum yum. Yum yum. Okay, Mika. Riddle me this, motherfucker. What did you just say?

Say that again. Say what you were going to say. Mika, I'm going to turn it off. Mika. This is sleep deprived. I'm going to turn it down, okay? I'm going to turn it off. All right, Mika? I'm going to turn it off. Link! Link, is he sleep-deprived? I'm gonna turn it down, okay? I'm gonna turn it off. Alright, Mika? I'm gonna turn it off. No more Pandathor.

Okay. Okay, Pandathor? Hmm. Hey. It's slowing down. It's turning off. Let me unplug it. It should be winding down now. Can we do family guy roleplay?

Can I please be fucking Brian? Can I please be fucking Brian? Oh my god. Who are you going to be? I guess I could be... Chris? They say you do a good Stewie Can you be Stewie? Sure I can do Stewie

Okay so the scene is Peter you're on the couch And I'm walking in with Stewie Okay Hey Peter What the fuck are you doing? I'm watching Freaking T-Ring Oh Peter

Just take a look at Stewie. He's been all weird lately. Okay, I'll take a look at Stewie. Oh, my freaking God. Yeah, isn't that fucked up? Stewie, what's wrong with you? You sound like Swagger. Hey, guys, it's me, Stewie Thor.

Yeah, so he's been calling himself Stewie Thor. I don't fucking get it. Yes, it's me, Stewie Thor. Peter, what the fuck do we do? Peter, it's not time for a monologue. Stewie's in pain. Okay, I can't be Peter. I need to be someone else.

You're Marge now. Okay. Okay, Marge. Stewie's in pain. Can you heal him? I. I need to be someone else. You're Marge now. Okay. Okay, Marge. Stewie's in pain. Can you heal him? I don't want to be Stewie. I want to be Sonic. Okay, you can be Sonic now.

Marge, Sonic's in pain. Can you heal him? Well, I gotta see his rings. Okay, Sonic. If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it. Take a look at my rings. Oh, wow. Those cock rings are crazy

hey Sonic put away the cock ring I don't remember doing anything like that I'm fucking calling in Joe on the wheelchair can we all be Joe okay I'm Joe who are you Mika I guess I'm Joe

okay you're Joe I'm Joe hey Joe I'm Joe. Okay, you're Joe. I'm Joe. Hey, Joe. I'm Joe. Hey. Hey. How's it going? It's going pretty good. What was that? I'm a cop.

How about this? I'm a cop, too. No freaking way. Swagger souls again. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just going to be Swagger Souls. Hey, guys.

See, when I try to sound like Swagger Souls, I don't sound like it. Hey, guys. I'm a YouTuber. I'm Swagger. That's really good. Want to smoke some weed? Want to smoke some weed, dude? Want to smoke some weed?

Guys, what did you do for Christmas? Just let me know. I f***ed Mrs. Claus. In the f***ing mouth. What are you Bowser? I f***ed the reindeer. I f***ed the reindeer. I f***ed. I f***ed. I f***ed.

Rudolph. What the f***? I f*** fuck Santa's reindeer what the fuck is wrong with you man I'm not the novelist why does he sound like he's on crack I have rabies

I'm gonna break loose at any moment Mika I got you something for Christmas what did you get what did you get me here it's a plumbus what is a plumbus tell him what it is plumbuses are the iconic freaking morty reference like uh they're like the sex toys like uh ironically what is a plumbus? Like, unironically, what is it? You want to know ironically? I think it is a sex toy for, like, for aliens. Ironically, it's just a type of cheese.

Like, unironically, it's a type of cheese? Yeah, I mean, unironically, it's just cheese. Or it's like a bike. Like, you can say, yeah, I want to ride a plumbus. Yeah, you can say that. Okay. I'm like, whoa. So, like, do you want to ride the plumbus uh i i'm gonna like maybe be a little more reserved about that about the plumbus or the writing both okay i think like

maybe you guys can ride the plumb? Maybe you guys can have fun with that and then maybe I'll just abstain because... Dr. Fluoride. Plumbus? F is for friends who do stuff together.

For you and me. You can have fun with the Plumbus but I think I'm just not going to participate with the plumbus. You know? Derp. It's a bit derpy. Derp. And it's for no survivors when you're plankton.

You sound like a southern mom spongebob. Plankton. Oh, Plankton. Oh, Plankton. Come here, Plankton. It's supper time, Plankton. There's a pie waiting on the sill. Plankton, boy.

Sit your ass inside. Plankton, sit down over here. Have a slice of pie. Plankton, why don't you tell me about how school was today, Plankton, sit down over here. Have a slice of pie. Plankton, why don't you tell me about how school was today, Plankton? School? Is it his mother?

Yes, Mommy. Yes, Mommy. Plankton, was that Sponge Boy still bullying you? Yes, he was. It was awful. Oh, Plankton.

Can you remind me what we talked about with that? What? Oh, that kind. Yeah. Well, you know the Spongebob. And then I'm the father that's coming home. Where the fuck is Plankton? No, leave Plankton alone. Plankton's coming home. He had a hard day. I'm not ready. I'm the father that's coming home. Where the fuck is Plankton? No, leave Plankton alone. Plankton's coming here.

I'm not ready. You've been behaving badly in school. You know what that fucking means, huh? You need to stop drinking. Drinking? It's just in moderation, Plankton. Why don't you boys stop fighting and just enjoy a nice slice

Of my apple pie Shut up Thank you Blankton You know what No problem We should go fishing We should throw the old pigskin around sometime You know I kind of like you

You know I'm like your son Oh yeah You're right time. You know, I kind of like you. You know, I'm like your son. Oh, yeah. You're right. And then Karen's like... Wait, Karen's here? Karen's like, you've had a second family this whole time?

Well, yeah. I thought you loved me, Plankton. Graz, look around you, Grabs, and then he starts smoking. If anyone's gonna have a double life from Spongebob, it's gonna be Plankton. I think Plankton goes

to volunteer at the Senior Center on weekends. I think Plankton probably helps out the old seniors play bingo. I think think plankton probably helps out the old the old seniors play bingo i think plankton like probably like gambles away the earnings from the chum bucket like at the strip club every night totally yeah i could see it like he's just like a fucking loser i mean i wouldn't go ahead panda no i wouldn't call him a loser i think he's just like very depressed he's depressed like he's going every fucking day after chum bucket work he goes home actually doesn't go home he goes to the

fucking the pachinko place just starts playing pachinko oh man it's kind of an incel he's kind of a loser dude i think you know what he probably like after work after the chum bucket he just like he just like drives down an empty like freeway like pulls into like a seedy strip mall that has like a liquor store and like a taekwondo studio he has like a stubble all over and like uh like a donut shop and like a gun store yeah yeah he's got some stubble he just like goes into the liquor store like he's got a beer belly yeah it gets his usual then just like goes to sit in the car and then he just like puts his head down and he like looks at his drink he's like and then he's just like slowly he takes slowly drinks it and then passes like passes out in the car and wakes up to do it all over again at the chamber. He like loads one into the chamber? No?

If there's no survivors when you're plankton. Do you guys think plankton is like actually a good person who just like has a bad rap? Nah, that guy sucks. No bitches. No. Yeah. He does have a badass

though. What? Plankton? He does. Plankton? He does, yeah. Have you seen that one video of like the though what? plankton? he does yeah have you seen that one video of like the tongue licking plankton dude shut up no come on look at plankton butt plankton butt right now do you think plankton is just like

he's just the way he is because he was never like he's a fucking loser damn he needs to like work harder the way he is because he was never treated like that. He's a fucking loser. Damn. He needs to work harder. Here, Asher, I'm going to send this to you specifically and you have to describe it to Mika. This is what I would do

to Plankton. In this picture, it's basically Plankton, right? Imagine this, Mika. Plankton is squatting down, right? His ass is sort of wide like ripped wide open and mika is well it's it's not you mika but it looks a lot like you and it's like someone diving into like the ass and like treating it as like like a like a cavity

that someone can live in like it's a big gaping ass like it's like it looks like a home sorry i i spaced out can you can you try that again look at the thing i did look at the thing i messaged you yeah i want you to describe that to like that's a meet at plankton look look at what i messaged you okay i'm looking at it do you see it yeah i see it all right now let's grab it to mika so mika is basically like an image of two zebras like they're both facing dude you are fucking lying and there's a okay i'll admit it mika it's a guy slapping a girl's ass and it's jiggling it's jiggling like a jello cake mika that's gonna be me to plankton mika it's a fruit

cake jiggle it's a full-on jiggle fruit cake is is hard, isn't it? It's an up-and-down motion that you would see it from a mile away. Do you guys like fruitcake? It's a huge movement. Do you like fruitcake? No. Be honest. I like this fruitcake. I like you, Mika.

Are you calling me a fruitcake? I was referring to the ass. Damn. Mika, what'd you say you're fruity? Oh my god, there's a Fortnite version. Of Fruitcake? Have you seen the Fortnite one? No, but I did see that Fortnite has

like a rhythm game now. Like Guitar Hero in Fortnite, and I just see clips of like Peter Griffin dancing kind of, you know what I mean? In Fortnite. People are like, we need to recreate that one donald trump peter holy crap i'm in fortnite but trump's never gonna be added to fortnite

they're never gonna do it oh my god imagine if they added trump holy you don't think that trump is ever gonna make it i don't think so at this point no person because he's political like hear me out someone i think in 2016 there was a chance like if fortnite was big back then i could have seen like hillary clinton and donald trump getting in but i don't think i can see it i don't think i can see it now i'm jumping off the battle bus i think it's a different time now i think that would be too like too controversial yeah i i could agree with that which which uh is a shame because i think fortnite being in Fortnite could open so many avenues. Oh my god, it'd be amazing.

Yeah. Everyone's going to be like, all the four-year-olds playing this game, they're going to vote for Trump. I mean, if I saw Trump twerk like that on Fortnite, I'd probably grow up the same way. But you know what? I don't think the four year four year olds are playing fortnite i think they're playing roblox these days no they're playing fortnite man i think fortnite is getting like the it's like yeah it's like how nobody under a certain age plays fortnite anymore it's just

like all roblox for the kids i feel like it's really big right now but then it might die out yeah man well did you see the thing that when lego fortnite first came out it was like it was like there were four four times as many people playing lego fortnite than the the actual game i i still don't believe that's real lego fortnite yeah i think this is lego fortnite this is the age where i'm checking out this is like the first game that i'm checking out of it's now just i'm becoming a boomer now i don't believe it's actually good i tried it a little bit and i wanted to keep playing but i couldn't build the roof to the shack which is unfortunate pan do you play lego fortnite no we should do that for sleep deprived though hey baboon baboon okay yeah we can do that i guess

i get so many views fuck i love views i love my man what else do you love um hookers what hookers did i stutter i love prostitutes you can hear this yeah i think it's like uh you know i just i've given up you know so given up on what i just i just you know i just panda's beautiful you know i think sure yeah yeah oh my god yeah man okay so regarding the Christmas gifts... Yeah, those didn't work out this year. No, no, they didn't. What day is it today?

The day this episode has come out? The 26th? Give me a second. What day do you release these? Tuesdays and Thursdays? Yeah, so the Tuesday of 26, Thursday 28. What are your guys' plans for New Year's Eve? To me?

Yeah. You're asking little of me? Sure am. Nothing. I have no plans. Really? Yeah, I don't do anything for most holidays. Damn.

I don't know. I'm probably just going to egg people's houses. Yeah, we might do some like uh like like tp like throw tp people yeah i might ask for a tp can i get a tp that still gives me flashbacks it's so good right it was a good bit but it was just learn how to tp yeah literally you could have tp like you had the permissions and you just kept asking. Yeah, but, you know, we do what we need to do. We do what we got.

Yeah. You know, it's like you were using, you know, the resources you had. I was using what I had. Well, you guys aren't going to. Maybe we can talk about that in the patron section. OK. Our plans for New Year's Eve. Follow us over to the Patreon. You guys aren't going to. Maybe we can talk about that in the patron section. Okay. Our plans for New Year's Eve. Follow us over to the Patreon.

You get an extended episode. Discord server. Secrets. Minecraft server. Underground hints. Content. Coupons to Best Buy. Bye bye Bowie.

Bye bye Bowie. Bye bye bye Bowie.