Sleep Deprived Podcast - Do Not Ferment Apples at 3AM - SDP #124

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 29 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey everybody welcome back to sleep deprived podcast episode 124 hey hey skibbity toilet no we're not doing skibbity toilet again panda dude we need to put it in the title and the thumbnail again we did that like three times and our comment section was set ablaze i've never seen them more angry. Well, maybe if we make it a joke, then they'll find it funny. And then we can be able to do it. So as a joke, guys, ironically, satirically,

we're going to put Skibbity Toilet in the title and the thumbnail for the rest of the year. It's funny or silly. Well, it's ironic. We can basically get away with whatever we want yeah you can ironically murder just because i've done it good get away with something should we let me ask you that huh yeah good should we we're very important people we run a podcast dude i was uh thinking

about this last night and uh i was letting it get to my head, man. What, your status as a podcaster? Yeah, dude. Oh, no. Yeah, I ordered some poke. Oh, geez. Yeah, and I was like, you know what? I can do this because i'm a podcaster

like like a ford uber eats or yeah i can afford uh poke because i'm a podcaster yeah that's that's pretty cool dude i can uh i can just like get a diet soda because I'm a podcaster. You should get, like, some Versace. No, I can't afford that. I can't afford that. And, like, a Porsche. No, I can't afford that. Yeah, I think you should get a Porsche.

You should get a Porsche. I can't afford that. You should get a Rolls Royce. Nah, but you know what I can afford, dude? I can go to the grocery store right now, dude. And I can get a bag of doritos because i'm a podcaster dude i could have done that when i was like 12 yeah no well i don't think you can well you can because you're a podcaster but i don't think you could have done that when you were 12 i would go into the couch i can walk to the gas station right now dude and i can pick up some beef jerky because

i'm a podcaster you're rich you need to just calm down dude it's getting to your head man man you need to be humble dude listen humble yourself i don't buy new clothes you know what i do what i go to the thrift store dude oh my god yep you're so pretentious dude do you need you guess what oh my god guess what what what you reckon my i can fill my car with half a gas of tank dude half a gas of tank half a tank of gas because i'm a podcaster dude i don't know what we do about you i we need to strip back your roles strip back your prestige strip back your roles, strip back your prestige, strip back your bank account,

strip back everything, man. Strip back your skin. I'm going to take your skin from you. I'm going to wear you. That's really messed up. What are some things you guys have noticed you can do now that you're podcasters? I can stalk you and... I can...

Measure your body. I can just put my finger at something and people will jump at it like i'll be like sick them people will do my bidding i'm kind of like the guy in squid game like the guy the fat guys i thought you were gonna say you're like the guy from spy kids i thought you were gonna say i thought i was the guy from spongebob i thought you were gonna say that's the guy from spy family dude spy family is such a good anime oh mid family mid family i don't know what you're talking about mid family your opinions on like almost everything are just so wrong i get that all the time that your opinions are wrong yeah i have i have i have pretty bad opinions i just accept that you know but to me they're good i

i think it's pretty like big of you to accept you just insulted me for it you know what mid piece okay why why am i catching stracely no i actually i was i've been reading one you like it i oh my god you like one piece hold on hold on i wouldn't go quite there yet but it the last arc was the best arc that i was the r7 the r long parker oh dude it only gets better that's what i'm telling you everyone always like, a thousand episodes is too much, but it's actually not. It's actually not. So, you want to tell me what's gotten me back? Want me to tell you what's gotten me back on the bandwagon?

Because, you know, I lose steam. I try, you know, but it's masochism. I just, I read a chapter and I'm like, oh, fucking rubber guy. He's fucking sent out the stupid fucking rubber band punches. This fucking sucks like where's the ninjas but then i saw this clip on twitter and i have been watching and spoilers i

guess for fucking whatever but when luffy goes gear five whatever that means i've been watching that clip over and over and i keep keep telling myself, this looks good. If I just get there, I'm golden. Dude, that's only 1,000 episodes. That's 1,000 chapters and episodes away. That's not a big deal. I have to get all the way there? It's more than a marathon.

It's a lifetime of work. Here, I got the strap for you, okay? So, like, hundred episodes of one piece are filler so you can skip those and people will get mad at me but it's not canon it doesn't matter guys like as a certified one piece lover it doesn't matter take my word if it means you get towards gear fifth it's worth it gear five that shit's cool he's doing like looney tune shit and i've seen people making fun of it and what the fuck's up with that it's like an american cartoon it's not like shut up it's because gear fifth isn't super saiyan ultra and he doesn't become it's cooler he's like like it looks cool

yeah it's more interesting you know you know you know say what you will about gear fifth but it's more interesting than super saiyan super saiyan might be more iconic but it's more interesting and hold on so i have a question because i've seen a lot of clips and i i can't tell whether the cartoon bonks are added in as like an edit or if that actually happens oh you know those aren't added in that's awesome that's i really like honestly one piece rules dude rules. Dude, I did it. Mika, you love One Piece too, right? Yeah, but I haven't read in a while. But I do like it.

Mika, what if we were in a room with you, Panda and I, and we both lifted up our shirts like halfway, and we're using our belly buttons to talk. Oh yeah? And instead of it, we're like, Hi Mika!

Mika, hello! Mikaika i'm gonna get you mika i'm lactating i'd probably like uh pull your shirts down and ask you to leave oh or or we could kiss with our bellies oh dude what if we started making out with our belly buttons i would probably look away come on you would like that not really is there anything you would like us to do um not that pretty much what if we uh my pants then you see his tiny wiener no and then and then you see it roll out like a like a limo like a limo red carpet i'd probably feel like super uncomfortable probably that would be it would be kind of messed up and uh yeah maybe make you guys feel more comfortable i don't think so you guys want to try it out honestly honestly not really dude dude guess what man what i put my uh for the patreon people well they know because they

they heard about this but you remember how i in uh i opened up like a an aerodactyl rainbow v-star oh yeah that crappy car that's only worth six bucks um well to me it's priceless but i just wanted to give people an update on that i uh i pretty much i i couldn't find my dragon shield plastic uh inner sleeves but so basically what i did was i went into my magic the gathering card collection and i found like a bonus card that i got from one of the secret lair drops. It was just a regular Thopter. What are you saying right now? What the fuck are you? And then I put it on my rainbow Aerodactyl V-Star.

And then I was originally thinking of getting this. A flopper? It's a flopper. He's talking about floppers. He's talking about floppers. It's like an Eevee evolution sleeve. What are you saying, bro? It was like way too cloudy to see the Aerodactyl. evolution sleeve but what are you saying bro we're actually made out called carcals it was

like way too cloudy to see the aerodactyl and then i used another third layer i used a plastic card use the condom now i keep it on my uh bedside table so i can look at it every morning and have good memories the era of the aerodactyl you keep that on your bedside table yeah mika let me ask you this what if in spongebob instead of glove world there was condom world i feel like they're not even too different yeah they really aren't i'd rather go to condom world than glove world like what is a glove if not just five finger condoms yeah plus like a wrist section yeah oh i'm like i don't think it's too different especially if i use like a like a glove instead of a normal condom well that is that fine probably not like you're what yeah you're probably well actually i don't

know it's probably like probably get numb it's probably not going to be very good okay so there's this one guy that's born of two dicks and if he comes does he come out both dicks or only one it comes out of both i mean what it's not me i have one dick does a plastic bag work if i put it like a garbage bag around my dick would that work honestly probably not to be honest why i just feel like it's not like snug enough you know what about like a like a paper towel i feel like that's even worse well no no it would absorb it yeah i don't know if that's like how it works though yeah i Those things are a lot of money Yeah I believe in alternative protection Like sometimes I put water

On it Oh like on your dick? Yeah Like as a lube? No it kills the sperm it drowns Dude No no go ahead Panda Mika you go ahead No no no you ahead, Panda. Mika, you go ahead.

No, no, no. You were going to say something. I'm going to kill you both. Panda, say what you were going to say. Mika, I'm so flipping sick of this dude. He's going to go gear six. I'm going to go gear seven. I'm going to go gear universe.

Is there a beyond gear five? We don't know yet. Maybe. Holy shit. Honestly, I think gearth is like the peak like there's nothing else you can do like he can do anything like I feel like he could even beat he could beat Goku

cause it's like he becomes a cartoon man right yeah like he can do anything like he pulled he pulled eyes like that doesn't even make sense how do you pull eyes you can't do that it is really yeah actually I forgot. Was your train of thought related

to alternative medicine? No. We should give more suggestions for alternative medicine. We should make our own. I feel like as podcasters, that's kind of our right, right? Well, we could do that. We could make water infused bath salts and sell it as like some medication for something yeah like for as medication

for like covid yeah yeah i think that would be good we make a lot of money yeah well because we've been thinking lately you know sleep deprived about how we can, you know, maximize our revenue streams. Right. And I feel like the best way to do that. Boner pills. Well, I think what a lot of YouTubers and podcasters and people have caught on to is like, you can sell like a like a one time thing, like you can sell a shirt and you'll make some cash. But if you want to maximize your profits, you probably want to like get into the business

of selling reusable products so like mr beast oh like condoms yeah yeah i was gonna say the same thing like reusable condoms reusable condoms no one's ever thought of that because you got to buy more and more and more what if you just keep using the same one no that's not what i'm saying i'm saying if you want to make the most amount of money, you need to sell something that people need to reuse. Like a condom. A condom. I don't think you're understanding, man. Think about how many condoms you go through.

How many? 40 a day? 50 a day? Maybe I'm way too tired. Sorry. You need to sell something that people can't reuse because then they need to keep buying more. Oh.

Yeah. Did I say that wrong? Yes. The entire time. Okay. Oh. Yeah. Did I say that wrong? Yes. The entire time. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. So basically, like, what if we sold, I don't know, like, alternative medicine?

Yeah. Can we sell drugs? Mick, I have a question for you. Yeah. Are you more of a Wabbajack or a Volendrung? What? What? Are you more of a Wobbajack or a Volundrung? Is that like a Wobbafoot?

Or a Volundra? Are you more of like a Maroon's Razor or a Dawnbreaker kind of guy? I feel like I might be more of a Dawnbreaker kind of guy, and I might be more of a Wobbajack guy and i might be more of a wabba jack you're more of a wabba jack yeah maybe i could see that are you more of like a uh i don't know malekith the black blade or like a horonalu warrior oh wait Is this magic? No, no, no. Right now, I'm more of a Malekith. You're more of a Malekith? Yeah, right now.

I'm, like, really in my feels. Are you more of a Nicol Bolas god pharaoh or an ambitious Aetherborn? Maybe right now I might be more of, a nico bolas yeah and then last question on the um on the uh the uh personality test are you more of a uh as a piclone or a lembrexant um that one's a coin okay um we. We're calculating your calculating it. Yeah. You're an INFP. Dude, how did you know?

The test always works. Yeah. What personality types do you guys have? I have Ebola. I have that one too. I don't think that's one of them, dude. E for extrovert b for boy o for ovary l for lovely and a for a plus do you mean a for amazing You guys are so cute. I got you down, Panda.

E for excellent. Aw. B for beautiful. Aw. O for amazing. Come on. You're so nice.

A for lovelicious. Luscious. A for awesome animalistic oh uh astro for you it would be uh e for uh eggs eggs b for bacon bacon Bacon? O for... Omelette? Omelette? Come on, I already have two egg ones. L for... Lay?

No, fuck, I fucking hate France. I fucking hate French people. That's messed up, dude. I hope France fucking... Oui, oui. A for... Yeah, they're always like, oui, oui, and then they piss on the street. Pizza.

Pizza? Oui, oui, pasta. A4 and then they piss on the street pizza pizza all the Europeans are the same man yeah they're all the fucking same smoking a cigarette I like to scare people I'm gonna piss on the street ooh I'm a mime look at my autistic piss on the street ooh I'm a mime look at my autistic piss on the street I molded a baguette

into a wiener I use baguettes as sword you like that one Riker? honestly dude like uh I really like France god oh brother it's pretty awesome but you touched on something interesting

i actually did hear about uh during like the french and english wars and also a bit during the napoleonic wars they did use baguettes as swords like they sharpened that's yeah basically what they did was they um hardened the baguettes like they left them out like you know when a baguette gets stale it gets really hard hard yeah yeah so they left them out and then they like sharpened them into like spears basically and uh they would like tie rocks onto them to make them heavier and then they would basically use as like javelins to throw wow that must suck though like how effective

is that with hurting people well it was pretty effective because don't forget the French conquered the British for like a while there yeah but was it the baguette though that was doing it it was single handedly the baguette because at that point there was like an iron

shortage so it was kind of like hard to make iron uh equipment so they did use the baguettes and it did work pretty well and that's why 20 of our vocabulary is borrowed from french i hate that part so many stupid fucking words like rendezvous. Come on, man. And pizza. Yeah, pizza is another one. Yeah. Bread, I think, is another one. Yeah. What's another French word? Egg.

Egg. Yeah, egg is another one. Omulet. No, you're thinking of amulet. Yeah. Omulet. No, amulet. It's pronounced amulet.

Yeah, omulet yeah omulet no amulet it's pronounced amulet yeah omulet dude i was just gonna say something i forgot i'm so pissed fuck dude are you serious i'm so serious you forgot i forgot now i'm pissed because you forgot i'm gonna start crab walking everywhere i go i i really missed that as a kid people would crab walk all the time do you guys remember that yeah everyone's too cool for that now everyone's too cool to do things that's what i fucking hate dude you can't just go to the playground like fucking get on the swing set or the jungle gym like oh it's for kids i want to start crab walking around like sucking on my thumb yeah like like at what age do you just stop finding swings fun swings are always

fun yeah remember when you were like a kid and like you just stop finding swings fun swings are always fun yeah remember when you were like a kid and like you didn't know how to use the bathroom so like you like shit your pants and like your family was like oh you know it's okay like i can't do that anymore like what the fuck man i fucking hate like society and all that man i want to shit my pants again yeah that is kind of like society in a nutshell. So many rules, man. To be honest with you, dude, I'm not joking. Like, in full seriousness, I crab walked on Friday. Really?

Did it feel good? Like, Friday night I was crab walking. Sir, were you crab walking tonight? I was crab walking, dude. I went forwards and backwards. Dude, if I ever get pulled over and the cops are like, we're going to do the line test

to walk in a straight line, I'm going to start crab walking. Dude, speak to... Oh, shit! Go ahead. Dude, I just remembered. Eureka! All right, so, so, so.

Guys, viewers. Here's what I found out one day. That you can ferment apples naturally. So you can find wild apples or apples from our grocery store. And you can keep them in your home. And they can keep on, like, getting older. And the older they get, they can make you high. What?

Yeah. So, Panda, I'm going to censor pretty much everything you just said. No, dude, that was really... Adults, if you want to get high, here's what you do. You get a bunch of apples or fruit, and you let them ferment in your room, and then you can eat them. And you'll get high. Is this real? Dude, I heard this before, and I always thought about it.

Like, if life was ever that bad, and I needed a quick fix, i would just leave some apples in my room make them get what stops what stops it from like just becoming really moldy and disgusting that's just how it is mold can is fun man there's a lot of cool things you could do with mold but it's like how do you know that the apple is going to give you your desired effects and you're not going to get like bot, botulism and, like, die. Botulism is fun. That's this fucking problem with you fucking liberals. Fucking, you just hate fun. I don't know if it's a...

What's wrong with botulism, man? Well, it can, like, kill you. You'll die. But, like, think about how cool it would be, though, to have a fucking cool-ass moldy apple. I don't think it would be cool if it gives you botulism. I'm looking at botulism and it doesn't look that bad. It's just a bunch of fucking cells

and bacteria. That's so tiny. I'll just step on that. For people who are not familiar with botulism, botulism is a rare but serious... This is from Google, by the way. Don't trust everything you read online, kids. ...caused by a toxin that attacks the body's nerves and causes difficulty breathing, muscle paralysis, and death.

This toxin is made by Clostridium botulinum. That's a nerdy virus. I could take it. It looks like botulism toxin is found in a variety of foods including low acid preserved vegetables such as green beans spinach mushrooms and beef i eat that all the time i don't get botulism this is made up this is big fucking medical just fucking tainting your brain man oh wait hold on it is practically impossible for it to produce the toxin and apples, fruit, etc.

It is most likely in home canning of meat that has not been properly conducted. Wait, so apples are good? Um, it looks like... Oh my god. Wait, hold on. Let's, let's... Panda! I just fact-checked it.

The expired apples, fermented apples get you drunk, not high. Aww. You can thank me again going to center that why the people need to hear this everyone needs to have fun please uh this is not an endorsement of uh you should not be doing this this is for education i want you guys to have fun we need to have more fun miga you're scared of botulism and and and alcohol and weed and you just did ah you're a stickler man i want to eat mold oh you gotta understand the sensation of nicotine man oh my god can we advertise nicotine we should make we should make cigarettes that would be pretty cool cigarettes are pretty cool what if we made like fake cigarettes that are like candy oh shit candy cigarette yeah

why don't they do like more variants of those like why isn't there like a candy heroin that's a good idea we could do that or like candy coke. Candy crack. Candy meth. Oh, we could make candy vaccines. Holy shit! Oh my... We could actually do that. Do you inject them? It could just look like a needle and I guess you just bite out of it.

You just eat it? Okay. Yeah, we could do that. Do we have like a Fauci mascot? You ever see those chocolate makers who will make like hyper realistic um statues out of chocolate yeah yeah what if we just had that but for like dr fauci like can someone make a chocolate fauci that we yeah or like dude like you know chocolate easter bunnies like we should have like an anniversary where everyone eats like chocolate that would have to be white chocolate yes i'm saying chocolate pouchy yeah and uh it would be like um it would just be like

you know like eas Easter rolls around. You see all the chocolate bunnies on the grocery store shelves, but instead it's like Dr. Fauci. Seriously, we should drop all of our plans, all of our goals, and focus all of our efforts on trying to get Fauci on the pod. That'd be amazing. Do you think we can do it? I think if we did a lot of lying just a lot of lying we might be able to get him on at least for a minute we tell him we're like

you know an official news source you know we're kind of like a liberal podcast we talk about like medical science it's called the sleep deprived podcast because we're all sleep scientists and we get him on and then we're just we just fucking

we do the Fauci song to him and then we're just we just fucking we do the fauci song to him and then we're like you know would you would you suck a dick for a hundred dollars and we like make him cry and it'd be the best episode ever it could be like the eric andre show where he doesn't know what he's getting himself into oh yeah dude we've put spikes on his chair. You don't think his team would research us? No. Well, you know them doctors doing research. They don't do any of that. I think we should make

chocolate needles. Okay. I think so, too. Good idea, Mika. It's like the chocolate Easter bunny, but chocolate needles. Dude, have I ever told you guys how traumatized I am of needles? No, I always watch them.

Like when someone's injecting me, I like watching it. Yeah, pretty much what happened was when I was a kid, this like beginner trainer nurse was like trying to inject me with a vaccine. And I guess it was like her first day on the job so she had to do it like she had to try like six times and it just like was so painful and now i'm like so traumatized that um like 50 of the time when i have to like give a blood sample or like get injected with something i I pass out. Oh. That medical doctor?

Fauci's mom. Who would later give birth to Fauci. No, I'm not that old. What a crazy timeline. This is like a Spider-Man origin story. That was your canon moment. Yeah, it was a canon event for me. For that to happen to me. That's about it.

See ya. Hey everyone. If you want to listen to us... Oh, go ahead, Panda. I just want to say, there's too many critical channels now. Like channels that do commentary like him? Yeah. What's that other guy, like Mr. Moodahar or something?

Yeah. That's another one like i don't know man like there's so many people giving their opinions now i don't know which one to have there is a lot to pick from like i already have anthony fentano like like i don't know like am i gonna have to start i don't know making my own opinions no dude honestly don't know. Like, am I going to have to start, I don't know, making my own opinions? No, dude. Honestly. Don't. It's just so much easier when someone just tells me what to think, you know?

Yeah, I get all my video game opinions from Scott the Wise. I get all my music opinions from Fantano. I get all my news from Critical. I get my news from Philip DeFranco. Can you imagine a guy who is genuinely his only news source is Critical? That's how he stays up to date with the world? I mean, that probably is a lot of people. That is, yeah.

Wow. Well, if you want to hear more opinions um that are 100 correct and you should follow then you should check out the the patreon sleep deprived or patreon.com slash sleep deprived the podcast doubles in length we got a minecraft server we got a discord server we got more shows we got freaking uh uncensored gaming videos where you get to see tits and balls boobs check us out man baba booey baba booey baba booey