Sleep Deprived Podcast - Eat Hot Chip and Lie - SDP #135

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 28 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody, welcome back to Sleep Deprived Podcast, episode 135. What's up everybody? It's us. I'm joined by my co-host Mika the Rizzler and Panda the Rizzle. All I do is eat hot chip and lie. What kind of hot chip are you eating, Panda? Oh, you know. Oh, you know. I actually don't, that's why I'm asking. Wait, Panda, can we like inspect you to see what you're eating? You really want to know?

Hold on. Mika, what if it's like really cool? What if like he tells us and like our minds melt? Well, when Panda mentioned he was eating hot chips, I kind of like started feeling a bit of an urge to get hot chips.

I have an extreme urge right now. The way he eats it is so cool. Why is he eating it so cool? He's like a guy in a movie with a cigarette. I'm going to start lying. Do you know what I'm talking about, Mika? Panda's like a greaser right now. He's got his hair slicked back, sunglasses on.

He's like smoking a cigarette. What are you going to do, huh? What are you going to do, huh? Alright, forget about it. Panda's a biker guy. Panda, what kind of hot chip are you eating? The Cheetos, okay, Mika? That's not a chip.

Yeah, that's really not a chip. That's a puff. No, what? Puff? That's a puff. what puff that's a puff what cheetos are you eating dude he's not eating chips he's eating puffs dude the puff cheetos are i'm sorry they're awful yeah and that's not a chip sweetie that's i'm not talking about the puff like you know the big fat puffs with a bunch of air in it you're talking about the right yeah i mean there's still a bunch of hair in it no a bunch of air

i was like what the hell are you rolling around on your cheetos on the ground do you think fried hair would taste good are you out of your mind mika like i'm just asking like if people could eat them as noodles or something fried hair yeah that's a good point you think we did this i mean we need a more decorum on this podcast are you kidding me i'm gonna start doing lean i think this is mika yeah we need to talk to the to the higher ups there's a guy rabid on our podcast drinking lean i'm gonna have a big lean gut and and eating hot chips and eating the hot chips with a hair with fried hair do you guys want to taste good can syrup tastes good. Can we agree? Cough syrup? No.

Oh, my fucking God. No, you can't be serious. I thought you said cough syrup. No, you're not serious. I'm really serious. I'm not a fan of cough syrup, Panda. I'm sorry. Yeah, me neither.

I'm just going to come down and say it. It's not really good. I side with Mika. It's so sweet. Dude, you're on that huggy wuggy shit recently panda i'm gonna drink part that's where my life's going do you feel like this mika do i feel like drinking lean do you feel like panda's like gone insane i think lately panda has been a bit off the rails. Panda, should I talk about what you did after the episode last week? It's fortuitous. Fortuitous? Where did you learn a word like that?

What the fuck are you on? What have you been reading the dictionary for? What the fuck? You can't just pop out with fortuitous. You know what fortuitous means. What does that mean? I don't know. Fortified fortnight fortnight fortnight fortnight i've been having a fortuitous week then i've been playing some og fortnight call me on my yacht when i jelker. That'd be Riz. Mika. Yes, Astro.

You ask Panda, and then I'll ask you. I think it would be fun to rank the hot chips. Can I ask my question now? Yeah, of course. Do you like Skibbity Rizzler more, or Gat Huggy Wuggy Goatsy? That's so easy. Probably Skibbity Rizzler if i had to choose really

skibbity rizzler yeah are you penta are you sure he wants to get that what no no like like that that was awful everyone knows wg it was better yeah yeah because that's just you don't want to be walking around town with skibbity Rizzler on your side, man. Yeah, but I don't want to be walking around town with Goatsy either. You're going to look whack with Skibbity Rizzler, I'm telling you. You're not going to look whack walking around with Goatsy? No, that's what's in. Have you been reading the magazines? No.

Skibbity Goatsy is in. Dude, I haven't been paying attention to the trends i've been living under a rock i haven't been on the internet you can do goatsy under a rock mika you can't fucking do that okay you must always be in the know for every single thing ever i've actually just been happier actually just not being on mika listen to me. Mika. Yeah. Mika. Do you know SpongeBob SquarePants? Yeah. Do you know Patrick Star? Yeah.

He lives under a rock. And how is his life treating him? Horrible. Horrible. He's got no job. No car. No bitches. Nothing.

Nothing. He's got fucking cable. He's got his fucking internet. He can't even watch fucking anime, Mika. He can't even fucking make music. He can't make music. He can't do anything. He can't skateboard. He can't even jerk off. He's not even smart enough to jerk off.

He's a prisoner in his own mind, Mika. He's trapped down there in the dark. If you want to get into the philosophy of it, I'm sure Patrick in his mind mind he's probably doing pretty well like don't empathize with him we don't want you to be like him you can't be fucking terrorist to me because he's a loser i mean here's a question would you rather be happy and a loser or like suffer all the time do you see Starr's shorts? Have you looked at them?

The green ones? Corniest shit I've ever seen. You want to look like that? You want to look like fucking Patrick Starr in his football square pants? You know what Sandy told me? Sandy told me that Patrick got that shit thrifted and there was poop stains on it. Dude, I saw his poop sock.

I saw his poop sock by the TV. I'm not even fucking kidding. Poop sock by the TV. Mickey, you want to be like that? You want to saw his poop sock by the TV. No, I'm not even kidding. Poop sock by the TV. Mickey, you want to be like that? You want to have a poop sock by the TV, huh? Well, no. I want to take better care of myself and have better hygiene, but I kind of respect Patrick's way of living. Patrick Star hasn't brushed his teeth in 365 days.

Does he even have teeth? I don't know. That's why I don't want you to be like him. He has two buck teeth now because he's kind of derpy now. You want to be derpy, Mika? It's not like the worst thing in the world.

Would you rather be derpy and generally content with your life? I understand how Squidward feels. I just get how Squidward feels. I would need to look cool in front of every single person even if that means i'm miserable but see that's the thing right like i i already am squidward i live like squidward i would rather be patrick oh my god dude you know what i mean no no no i think patrick really embodies the philosophy of he doesn't even wear a shirt

he walks around he literally goes in public locations he walks to restaurants with his shirt off he's the worst guy you want to be like that he's actually a bum like he's a fucking loser he's got his ass out he's got his ass out in the fucking He's actually a bum. He doesn't even wear a shirt. He's a fucking loser. He's got his ass out. He's got his ass out in the fucking crusted ground. Even SpongeBob, he wears pants, shirt, shoes. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it.

I bet Patrick fucking shops at the Chum Bucket. He shops at the Chum Bucket. Sure, maybe. But the reason Squidward suffers is because squidward carries attachment versus patrick is just like doing his own thing living his life not a care in the world he what he's you need bonds you need bonds buddy what's squidward's attachment you need taxes. What's his attachment? Yeah. He resists so much. He struggles so much against life's current. He's not that cool. He does not practice acceptance.

Yeah, no one should strive to be Squidward. Maybe Patrick is cool. Maybe he's actually kind of awesome. He doesn't even have a fucking TV. Yeah, but he has a fucking couch but but it's made out of fucking sand everybody has couches panda it's made out of sand you want to that's okay it's not okay the whole ocean's full of sand this is so fucking he's just living his best life he's just chilling he loving it. He's seeing that sunrise with those flower petals.

He's seeing the flower petals rotating in the sky. He doesn't even wear a shirt. Larry the Lobster's walking down the fucking street. He's got his pecs out. You know what's crazy? Squidward does that too. He doesn't wear a shirt either. Wait.

Yeah, he does. He doesn't wear pants. Yeah. That's even worse. He doesn't wear pants. Actually, wait. He goes to work with his dick out dicks out mr crab i'm not gonna lie like he doesn't give a fuck he fucking slaps his big

dick down on that little fucking ship he fucking slaps it down next to the cash register all right ready for work i've never seen it so maybe it's really small maybe it's just one of his tentacles panda do not do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not. Remember that what you have not had was once a month. Are you a Zenyatta fucking voice actor? Say that again. I always need more.

I need more money. I need more cash flow. I need more everything. I'm not content. I could never be content. I'm going to kill one of you. This is okay. Just kidding. Dude, have you guys been hearing about this mulch?

Malt? The new malt? No, mulch. Malt? Malt. Malt? Why? What's so special about the mulch?

Malt. Malt? Malt. Malt? Malt. Malt? No, mulch. Oh,? Mulch. Malt? Mulch. Malt? No, mulch. Oh, malk.

No, mulch. I got it. No, it's malk. I'm good. Continue. Is that a Pokemon? Malk? No, it's spelled backwards.

That's cum. Dude, where did the L go? What? I'm going to put the L on your forehead. Fortnite dance, gritty. Mika, did you know that ekans backwards is snake holy shit i did i fucking my brian my mind exploded i'm fucking v sauce do you guys want to talk about pokemon for a second yeah you want to know my favorite one oh yeah whismur split open but you gotta admit mika whismur got us a lot of money

he made a sacrifice yeah i would fuck him every day if it made us that much money that um that's it he's a pokemon that moment really messed with me what yeah it messed up whismur even more it messed with my bank account turning my numbers up yeah yeah uh for for context for our audio listeners and for those of you who don't know that we do game videos on youtube um yeah we do we game yeah we were playing gardic phone and i i drew a whismur because i just really like whismur and uh the worst possible thing that you can imagine. Dude, you cannot fucking pull this shit again. You cannot draw like the most wholesome thing and

just expect us to not put a dick through it. If you draw a fucking cute teddy bear, it's getting a dick in it. It's getting a dick on it. That's just how it works. That's just the law of the land. Dick through and out. Maybe Whistler liked it. Yeah.

I really don't think so. But yeah, some good news. I have two of them now, which is cool. You have two? I have two Whismurs. Two Whismurs in a sandbox. I caught a Galarian Zapdos. That was

probably the highlight of my week. I caught a Galarian Zapdos. That was probably the highlight of my week. I caught a Galarian Buttdos. Ooh, Mika, you can't take that. Buttdos. Take that, Mika. Buttdos. Butt. Um, yeah.

Well, you know, it is what it is. No, it actually is fucking cool. You gotta do something about that. Yeah, you gotta beat me up now. Beat me up. I don't think I have it in me to beat you up. Mika, you gotta fucking do something about that. You gotta beat me up now. Beat me up. I don't think I have it in me to beat you up. You gotta fucking do something. That was embarrassing.

You know what? Please do something about that. I will let it pass through me like water. No. No. No. You're not Buddha. Let's all just...

Let's make up. Let's just... Hug? Come on. I'm sure this is your fucking fault. You called a cut ghost. It's just a bird. It's just a bird. It's. Come on. I'm sure this is your fucking fault. You called a cut ghost. It's just a bird. It's just a bird.

It's a cool bird. I'm sorry. It's a cool bird. It's a cool bird. Mika, I've... Mika. Tell me everything about Zapdos. I'm not bothered. Zapdos. He's lying. He's fucking bullshit. Mika, you know that fills you with rage.

Makes you pissed. pissed honestly not really you know i'm just it is destroying your core hey guys hot chips huh hot chips hot chips what are your what are your favorites um dorito dorito hot chip that's a good one are we talking sweet chili eater that's a good one too actually that's a good one maybe that one can I steal your answer oh no that's totally yours I wasn't even thinking about that one

no I want to share okay fuck yeah we can share it like a hot chip yo what do you guys think about Takis? That's just radioactive. Don't get me into Takis. I actually really like them.

You say that like you've been addicted to them as a drug. The exact opposite. Don't get me back into Takis. I really enjoy them. My first time trying them, because for the longest, they didn't have them here in Canada. So, I only could have them when I was in the States. And I would eat, like, a pack of Takis every day. Like a chain smoker.

Yeah, pretty much. Dude, a pack a day? I would inhale them, yeah. Dude, that's so much sugar. Are your lungs okay uh maybe i do get bronchitis pretty often but it's like when you're it's like inflammation of your lungs yeah i gotta show you these these things i guess you're taking instead bronchioles they have these things called e-talkies you just you smoke them you just smoke the it's like an electronic taki so it like it's not

it's not as bad for your lungs basically you gotta try wait wait wait wait i'm sorry i'm sorry are takis a hot chip because apparently cheetos aren't a hot chip wait you're right fucking thing takis are a pseudo puff they're not they're not they're no it's a pseudo puff because it's not full puff the taki is rolled it's a chip that has been rolled into a cylinder. Okay, so how about it's a rolled corn. It's a rolled corn. It's a rolled chip. I wouldn't say chip.

I would say rolled corn. I think you can call a Taki a chip. How about a rolled puff? It's not a puff. It doesn't have air in it. It's puffy in a way. Not in my opinion but like i respect yours okay takis definition kind of similar to like is a hot dog a sandwich that shit fucks me up

see like that's like a semantics thing like no one's gonna call a hot dog like a sandwich but i guess because it's not one well ah it kind of is I mean just I'm ready I'm going into this we're gonna do this yeah yeah alright so what about a burger that has two buns connected to each other that's a sandwich right wait wait wait two buns

connected to each other what do you mean by connected like the top bun and the bottom bun are connected on one of the sides. Does that make sense? That's not a sandwich. Well, let me ask you this, Astro. When you go to Subway, do you get a sandwich?

No. What do you get then? I get a cookie. But can you get a sandwich at Subway? Nope. Never seen them. Isn't Subway known for their their sandwiches that's the whole thing sandwich that's an ice cream shop so the bread in a subway sandwich is i didn't do it i'm innocent i'm like oj oj is innocent i think it's fair to call a hot dog a sandwich and i think it's fair

to say oj is innocent the glove didn't fit. I mean, if the glove fit. I mean, have you seen that one video where someone was interviewing him and she was like, this is OJ's... This is a joke of OJ's and he basically pretends to stab someone and he smiles. That what?

Yeah, he's really unlikable for that it was a little funny he wrote a he wrote didn't he write a book that's called like it was something like if i did it here's how i would have done it basically like he's fucking crazy he's really like unlikable, seriously. Are you fucking kidding me? Let me double check this. If I did it. I didn't kill anybody, but if I did, here's a 30-step guide. Oh, sorry. Okay. The book is called...

The book is called... I... Wait. You gotta be kidding. He did not write a book called I fucking didn't kill them, but here's how I would have done it. Well, I need to double check the name here. I'm snacking too much.

The book is called If I Did It. Confessions of the Killer. It does not say Confessions of the Killer. It does not say that. It does. It really does. It's called If I Did It. it does not say confessions of the killer it does not say that it does it really does if I did it

confessions of the killer no the killer there's only one the well it gets even more fucked up if you start looking at the cover of the book for our audio listeners it's in huge caps uh it

says i did it and then there's a tiny there's a tiny if it doesn't there's a tiny if in the eye no it fucking doesn't then underneath it says confessions of and then in bold and a different color the killer he did not call himself the killer yeah i'm not going around saying i am the killer from that night he's not saying that shit okay i'm gonna put it on this on the screen and uh you can i don't do not believe you i'm gonna put it in craig bot channel i'm gonna literally shit myself you're being serious i'm being serious there's no way he made that book. He was framed, dude. He was framed. Yep. He was manipulated.

Here. But be honest. He's got Riz, though. Wow. Confessions of the Rizzler. He's just, I don't know. I just don't like him. I thought it said idiot instead of I did.

You could make it say that. Idiot. that idiot oh yeah so this isn't by him so this isn't real yeah that's by fred gold yeah fred goldman has it out for him yeah goldman's been uh like his joker his whole life yep i think i actually think she's carter or something it's like unanimously thought that he actually did do it right well not by that court and that's the law of the land hey what other hot chips do you guys like um cheerios that one's pretty good. Kool-Aid. That one's good, too. Bologna. That one's pretty good. Nipple.

I've never heard of that one. What's that one? Nipple. Oh, yeah. Nipple? That's a Gen 1 Pokemon. Yeah, only Gen 1-ers will understand. You know, I actually get Gen 1ers now. I do too, they're fucking right.

I don't know if I'd say they're right, but like... No, they're right. Like, this new Pokemon is literally just a fridge. Yeah, teacup? Fucking teacup? Literally, dude, a magnet? Dude, that's like a fucking rock. Pokemon has fallen off. Are you talking about Poltegeist?

They hate Pokemon. They're just like, oh, let me look at my keyboard. Oh, there's a Pokemon. I actually like Poltegeist. Remember when they used to be creative? Like when they attached two arms to a rock? Geodude? Or those five eggs.

Five eggs. Imagine how hard that is, Mika, drawing five different eggs. Yeah, Mika. Or an upside down pokeball like that's fucking genius pokemon isn't like that anymore there are no other birds like pidgey yeah i think you guys are right actually like uh this little worm with the horn on its head yeah ditto is magnificent ditto's genius i literally i couldn't have even thought of. I couldn't even, I could live again another 80 years.

You know what? I'm sure they did it again with Muck. Oh my god, you're right. And spell it backwards. Yep. Come! I'm telling you, that's the genius Pokemon doesn't have anymore. They don't make creative designs like that. Dude, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking get like that Star Wars guy, the guy that cries when he sees the newest trailer.

I'm gonna start getting like that until they fucking the guy that cries when he sees the newest trailer i'm gonna start getting like that until they until they fucking make more pokemon like gen one we need more charizard when's this time they get charizard oh imagine if they're like a mega evolution for charizard or gigantic oh my god like four forms special movie yeah like five forms like a form every year like that would be fucking amazing and only only for charizard only for him fuck you know i kind of do respect the the star wars guy who was crying at the new trailer like you're talking about the back in the day like way back in the day yeah oh yeah he's cool he's cool yeah but no he's not allowed to enjoy he can't fucking enjoy things okay he needs to be very

jaded and bitter about everything and suffer like me yeah a fucking warjack guy how dare he can't fucking enjoy anything I think there's an epidemic of people enjoying things yeah what's up with that I wouldn't know anything about

that yeah I'm just depressed people enjoy things nothing of it What's up with that? I wouldn't know anything about that. Yeah, I'm just depressed. People enjoy things. They're not a thing of it. So, Mika, I have a question for you. All right, I've got an answer. I don't know if you do. I might.

Maybe. You sound like Joe Pera. I do? Do you know Joe Pera? Yeah, the comedian who does like the old person voice. Yeah, talk really slow like Joe Pera. I guess I could give that a try. Pete Pitt, have you seen Joe Pera?

I don't get the reference. This is fucking crazy. Go on YouTube right now and search Joe Pera and just listen to his voice for five seconds. There's this guy whose whole shtick is that he's a young gentleman who sounds like an older guy.

Mika, you should just copy him. I can give it a try. Oh shit. Okay, so we got more substance Joe Pera. Holy shit, we're fucking huge. What the fuck? I see Schlatt in the comments. See?

One month ago. I love you, Joe. Who is this guy? That's funny that Schlatt likes that. I used to watch this show that stopped airing, but it was Bill Burr's show called F is for Family. Oh, I see on that.

I really like it. He does a voice in that show, yeah. He's really funny. I've seen him, and I know him from Conor O'Malley, because Conor O'Malley is my favorite comedian. So I've seen some clips of Conor O'Malley doing skits with Joe Pera. Who's Conor O'Malley? He's fucking awesome he's fucking unhinged that's the best that's the best guy out there is he worth looking into

yeah yeah but you might be like disgusted can you talk like Joe Pera again um well I'm a bit shaky with my impressions, but I can give it a go. Can you put... Now that I heard him... What? Now that I heard him, I want to hear what it sounds like when you... Can you put his voice up to the mic so I can give it a shot? Sure. Okay, well, thank you.

Anybody in the back? What's that? Okay, do it. Well, anyways, Astro, I think you had a question for me. That's pretty good. I'm making it right now. Yeah, I got a question for you. Let's hear it.

Um, so, does Kanye have an evil nemesis called Khan-oh-no? Damn. Damn. Damn. That was hard. Actually, probably.

Speaking of Kanye, I saw on the news that he's, like, recording his new album in the middle of some desert. What? Yeah. I think he's a tattooing. Bro, this is a fucking Jawa. I just saw a picture of him, pretty much. I just saw a picture of him, like, sitting on a really big chair in the middle of the desert.

Bro, I think he's Kubas. It's kind of giving John Wick. Bro, I think he's Sarlacc Pit. Yeah, John Wick had to do this whole, like, spiritual journey where he went out into the desert and just, like, met with, like, one of the original assassins or something. I'm shaky on the lore now, but... Do you think it's gonna sound like, like, in the sand? Like, it's gonna start out with, like, the sand blowing in the wind, and then Kanye's gonna, like, appear and just start rapping? No, I think he'd start monologuing like, the sun.

Jesus brings me the sun. Jesus in the sun. Yeah, I think his next album is going to sound really spiritual. It's going to be fire. I mean, fire. It's going to be fire.

30 out of 10 can I like Kanye now I mean you're entitled to like what you like oh well people of mine are going to get mad at me oh yeah oh actually you're not allowed to enjoy things shut the fuck up yeah I mean gen 1 you know

yeah gen 1 Sarlacc Riz well if you like what you hear, follow us over to the Sleep Deprived Patreon. Joe Pera, you're my idol! For $5 a month, you can get extended episodes,

sign my nipples, a Discord server and a Minecraft server, and bonus shows with higher tiers. Well, thanks everyone. Baba Booey. Can we throw roses out? Baba Booey.