Sleep Deprived Podcast - Elon Bought Twitter. - Sleep Deprived Podcast #81

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

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Hey everybody, welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast, episode 81! What up, what up? What up, everybody? What up, what up, what up? Guys, we have to make a very important announcement at the beginning of this episode. True, yeah, really. Andrew's bladder is extremely, extremely full. What?

I'm holding in my pee, I've been... See, the thing is, I'm so comfortable in my chair, I just don't want to get up and go to the bathroom. And you guys keep complaining about how I need to pee all the time. So I'm just going to hold it. Well, he does it every episode, like literally before. We're right after the record. Sorry I have to pee. No, hold on.

No, sorry I have to pee. No, no. It's the frequency and the timing at which it happens every single time, Pandit. Because we will all have Audacity open, and our fingers like hovering over the record button i'm like all right everybody we ready and that is like your cue that's your cue yeah he's like pavlov's dog like that he knows to piss when you say that when you say ready he runs to the bathroom this is like my period guys you guys need to respect it they don't have a period every week. You know that, right? Yeah, every single day. That's me. Do you know how a period works?

Yes. I've talked to many women. Why don't you explain menstruation in detail? You know, it's when you pee blood. Like you stand up. You stand up. It's when you

of in the cold food of out hot eat the food that's what i'm saying they're very eloquent very eloquent wait i actually have a really important question okay uh this one goes out to everyone would you rather have games, unlimited games? Time out. What is going on here? Oh, what are you about to do? What is going on here? Why? What is this crossover?

What do you mean? I'm just asking. I just have a harmless question. Okay. But now hold on because this is interesting that you're saying this. I don't understand why it's so interesting. No, go ahead go ahead what was the rest of the question so would you rather have unlimited bacon hold on but no i recognize

no hold on hold on i recognize that one or games somewhere where's this from unlimited right now but no games dude this was a bit from an old-ass Inbox episode with Mr. Sark and APL Fisher. Yeah. That's crazy. What a callback. You watched that show too? This is a pretty nutty callback. Yeah.

I just remember it in the dark recesses of my mind, and I thought I would just ask everyone here. Yeah, man. That's great. So do you have an answer to the question? Anyone here can can answer yeah i'd take the bacon really yeah but doesn't that mean no games but there's no games you but you get bacon with no games but there's no games regardless because even if you take the unlimited

games there's no games that's the correct answer the question what yeah and you want to know something fucked up yeah original person who asked this question his name was george or wait matt it might have been matt either way imagine come on man george or matt yeah george or matt those are like the two most like kindergartner names i've ever heard jesus christ we definitely have a lot of mats listening right now and george's consider this yeah probably okay well i'll tell you what when i hear the name george what i envision is like walking into a kindergarten class and i just see like a bunch of like kids picking their nose and like and like coughing that is so like rolling around on the floor that's what I imagine when I hear a George

Apologize apologize to George right now. I'm sorry to George You George, you know, I'm sorry because this is your Samantha. This is your Smith moment Oh, no, I don't have a problem with what I'm not assigning a bad value to these names That's a bad just did it do you think their noses and their kindergartners what's wrong with kindergartners you said he was a kindergartner picking his nose you're implying he's a man that acts like a young kid who picks his own nose that is that's not the negative connotations are obviously there mika okay you're putting words in my mouth i think I'm ready to move on from this topic. Fucking ass.

Jesus. This is exactly what the problem with the liberal media. This is a whole new leaf for you, Mika. And it's one that, you know, I don't think any of the guys on the Sleep Deprived podcast nor any of the cool guys listening to the podcast enjoy. What's gotten into you?

We don't condone this man yeah you you think i'm grr i'm off the rails ah jesus calm down man dude settle i'm gonna blow a gasket oh my god you're gonna blow up the pentagon why don't you kick rocks, bud? Hey! Mika's acting like a real shithead. I'm uncomfortable. I don't like the cut of your jib, pal. Oh my... This podcast is a safe space. This is supposed to be our one comfortable time during the week.

Yeah, for real. And you're really fucking with the chi and the juju and the... My chakras are all in this line. I'm sorry. I'll tell you guys what's going on. It's honestly lately I've just been feeling like I've become a total live for the weekend person.

I'm just like so New guy just dropped. That's the whitest thing I've ever heard. That's the whitest thing I've ever heard. Guy with a podcast who lives for the weekend you're gonna start saying live laugh love and shit you're gonna say i'm high on life what caused the change mika i don't know just lately i've been so like dissatisfied with like with everything man oh come! You like some stuff.

Yeah. I guess I like my friends. But everything else is just really ticking me off, man! I'm gonna flip a lid, bro! Jeez, man. You're really scaring me. What I learned, the cure to depression is having a

six-pack. And until everyone gets a six pack that's suppressed who's to say right that's that's a good point i mean like i like tried that didn't work do you got a six pack you have a six pack got a little bit of one no way yo you gotta show us that right now you gotta post a photo can you stream this right to right to us right now i don't have a webcam but i can take a photo later if you want can you to us right now? I don't have a webcam, but I can take a photo later if you want. Can you take one right now? My phone is charging.

Oh my god. Can you describe it to us right now? It goes to another school. Can you run your hands over your washboard abs right now? Or pour liquid over it? I mean, it's not like that defined. It's like...

I'm just thinking about it right now. Could I use it as a cutting board? Probably not. Cut some celery on it, you know? If I punch you as hard as I can in the gut, will my fist get stopped like an anime character And then you go I mean

Like actually maybe That one maybe yeah Holy shit man You're the next one to be starting to Can I be playing the xylophone You probably couldn't play the xylophone But anyways that's enough about me this podcast well no hold on let's go talk about the let's talk about you a little more in your abs

oh how long have you worked on them well i mean like i've been working out for like a while you know what is your routine and what do you look like when you shower? Well, for the past month and a half, I was doing a six-day-a-week split. Yeah, no, skip that. Go to the shower. Just do the shower part. I would play under the sea with them.

What is that? you want to hear my shower routine yeah more so what you look like and like your general uh genitals yeah genital um situation and um just like like size like girth and um like the way that it moves you You do the helicopter, you know? Okay, guys, be honest here, have you guys done the helicopter? I've done the helicopter, I've tried to do the helicopter. It's something, it's something that's so intrinsically a

panda. Helicoptering your dick. Yeah, I mean, like, Well, because mine's so long, I almost flew away, so I can't do it again you generated a lift that's the lamest place you sound like a 13 year old when you're when you're 15 inches long you know you have to uh make some adjustments in your life, right? I wouldn't know if that doesn't apply to me.

Anyways, we should talk about Markiplier. I would love to talk about his abs. Yeah. What happened to Markiplier? Yeah, so he started an OnlyFans. What? Or he's going to. He's going started an OnlyFans. What? Yeah. Huh? Or he's going to.

He's going to start OnlyFans, and he's going to show tasteful nudes of his butt and dick. Is he actually going to show his wiener? I don't know, but if he does, I really hope it's a POV of him laying on the bed and he's flexing his abs. And then also he's oiled up, and also he's coming everywhere,

and the audio's on on and he goes, Is that too far? You think he could do that peck thing? You know how guys can do the peck thing? Oh, can he do the peck thing? Of course he can do the peck thing. Of course he can. That would be awesome.

That would be great. Do you have any suggestions on what mark should do with his only fans me yeah um i mean like i think it would be cool if he showed like uh i don't like he could build a lego set with his with his car out no that would be impressive no just with his fingers like building a LEGO set, like a regular LEGO build. Like he's naked, maybe? I mean, like, no, he could just be, like, a normal... Why would he put that on the OnlyFans?

Yeah, I mean, what's the point? What's the point of that? I just realized, I watched the Marco Player OnlyFans video where he talks about it, and he says he'd only do it if his podcast reaches the top of the charts. So we're supporting an enemy podcast right now oh that is that's actually a very good point what's the name of his podcast distractible hmm well i'm very i get very distracted i'm distracted right now listening to his podcast why why would i want to listen to that podcast awkward hey guys

if I what would I what should I offer my audience if we got sleep deprived to number one no I wouldn't do an only fans man listen I'm not I'm not like you okay I'm not like you. Okay?

I'm not like you. We're nothing like each other. I am not like you. Okay? What the hell? I'm not like you. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It would be a really wonderful thing to be like Ash Resist. He's a great swell person. Okay well if you can't do the OnlyFans

what about, like, just, like, a couple feet picks? No. No? Really? Not even one? That shit is not happening. Their feet! Come on. Panda would show his feet. I walk with my feet. I keep those things under lock and key and oath and dagger.

Have they never been shown? No. Would you show ankle? I would show a little ankle. Okay, that might be enticing. I don't think that's number one podcast material, though, you know. Oh, okay, I actually have a great idea. You know those, like, hot lumberjack calendars? Yeah, yeah.

You could do that. Yeah, it's like you doing a bunch of, like, stereotypically manly things. Ooh. Like, with, like, a pin-up girl style. Yeah. As a calendar. And it's, like, very, like, flannel and, like, wooden and, like, gruff. And the mutton chops would work perfectly with it.

I can see it right now. No, they would. You're right. You're right. January is just bare-chested shooting a double-barrel shotgun. Shooting a deer? right now. No, they would. You're right. January is just bare chested shooting a double barrel shotgun. Shooting a deer? Yeah, shooting a deer. Like two deer at once, like a collateral.

No scoping a deer? February is ripping the deer apart with my bare hands and blood and guts all over the floor. And then the next month March is you tracking down the relatives and the family of the deer that you killed

on the computer of geolocation april you're just like in a bush with binoculars and like in the reflection you can see like a small little like baby deer oh god by may you have a factory that's just killing deer

like 100% out of me. Like the fucking slaughterhouse documentaries they made you watch in school. They're just on a conveyor belt all getting their heads bashed in. I think by the end, like by November, you look down at your hands and their hooves. And then in December you're just a full-on deer yeah and you know what you know what the calendar should be called it should be called oh dear oh damn okay let's get let's get let's get yeah let's do some market research i think we could do it market research yeah man do i have to take the photos or are these like artist renditions? I mean, like, if we got to number one, we could afford artist renditions.

We could. Also, I'm not as attractive as Markiplier. I'll say it. I don't think I'm as attractive as Mark. Photoshop. Photoshop? No one's going to know. Yeah, you can just put the face filter on every month.

New face filters on Instagram, Schlatt. This one's my favorite. Great job, team. Dude, Facebook stock fell like 30% yesterday. month new face filters on instagram schlatt this one's my favorite great job team dude facebook stock fell like 30 yesterday what happened unsurprising i don't know because maybe like the the metaverse play isn't panning out maybe they had so much money maybe they can't even get working legs in the metaverse right now and uh people are starting to pull out it is so ugly like it's insane that they've been pouring money into it and vr chat still looks better exactly yeah life

looks better isn't vr chat free too yeah yes completely free yeah there someone did a comparison they showed like a final fantasy game on ps2 that cost like $40 million to develop. And it looked better than like the billions and billions of dollars they had put into the metaverse. It's so sad that you can log into like a world right now and there will be like literally six people like in the metaverse at a given time. It's like a failure. it's a total disaster mark if

you're listening this you should be like really disappointed in yourself yeah mark loves this pod mark we need to have a heart to heart reach out to us via our email yeah come on the pod i genuinely believe it's like like this has to be on purpose, right? There's no way they put all this money into it only for it to fuck up this badly. Anyone with one brain cell would know this was an awful idea. Well, I mean, to be fair, man, I've been told straight-faced by people I know and respect that, hey, Schlatt, you know, in 10 years, people are going to care more about your mercedes nft that is inside the metaverse instead of your mercedes that you drive and i was like yeah man no that's awesome that's like that's just the the different type of wavelength that these people are on and uh it i mean i guess it's very easy to say oh man you just gotta wait

for it to pan out you know like it's a long play it's a long play i mean this is gonna be years down the lot down the line but like dude look at nfts what happened there what the fuck happened there they're down like 95 percent yeah of all activity they were selling millions and millions of them a day on open c and now i mean, I mean, no one even says NFT anymore. I think they could go up. I have just this tiny hunch. I think the bricks are. Because crypto has always gone down, and then it goes up again, and then it goes astronomically down. And I'm thinking maybe that'll happen with NFTs.

I think it's possible to see it spike up again again which is why i'm holding the bricks i'm not selling the bricks because i mean if any nft is going to be worth shit it's going to be the bricks i think a lot of it is like sunk cost fallacy like these people have put so much money and time into these whole things that now they're like tricking they're like deluding themselves into thinking it's gonna work out it is kind of sad to think that we will be living in a world where you just clock into your vr headset and then pretend to live instead of actually living let's actually just pretend to live yeah i always thought that makes it so sad i always thought it'd be like so sad i always thought i'd be like tech innovative i'd be like i'd be the 80 year old who would be into the current tech but if they start strapping on the vr like i think that's where i'm out like i'm gonna become the boomer

i'm like i'm not putting that on all day i already feel like the boomer man i already feel like the boomer that's fair i feel like at least one person is gonna hear this in like an archive in 50 years yeah talking to you Samuel and they're gonna be like wow these guys and George these guys sound like such boomers they're not gonna be named that exactly yeah they're gonna have gamer tags they're gonna have Elon names yeah XAE12 is gonna really love he's gonna have a big chuckle listening back to sleep deprived 81 okay so so zorblav and and and clingor and zathura and zathura and maybe uh zelda zelda russian are gonna be listening to this and calling us boomers and laughing at us in their vr headsets and you know what maybe that maybe they will be but honestly if i feel like if we reach a point where um where that's happened where people will really like spend more time in the in the headset

than anything else our world must have gotten real shitty and so it's not even really a world i i want to be a part of anyways well now i think about it it's not even really a world i i want to be a part of anyways well now i think about it it's not even that far off i mean what do most people do nowadays to spend all day on technology do you remember the plot of ready player one you guys see that movie yeah not even talking about the bodysuit part where they have e-sex with the discord valorant girl but uh the part the part where criminal organizations know where you live through the information you give out in the metaverse and then they come to your house while you're plugged into the headset and fire bomb you and you're just gonna be plugged in and if you die in the metaverse

you die in real life damn damn yeah put that in your pipe and suck on it Mika oh yeah suck on it Mika speaking of pipes I heard Elon Musk bought Twitter like for real this time I thought we were going back to Markiplier to be honest some side pipes yeah no he bought it and the first thing he did

was tweet what was it you can be funny on Twitter. Oh, my God. Yeah, comedy is now legal. He had an even funnier tweet, man. He had an even funnier tweet. It was actually one of the best things I've seen in a long time. Elon Musk tweets an article two hours ago or three hours ago from a website reporting on the Twitter people getting fired, which is sad.

Musk has allegedly fired an entire team of Twitter data engineers as laid off employees. Raul Ligma and Daniel Johnson are pictured walking out of the San Francisco office on Friday afternoon. he posts a screenshot of this and he the caption is ligma johnson had it coming with a with a with a fucking zucchini emoji and a and a liquid spurting emoji can you just imagine fucking getting fired and getting your shit posted like to millions of people yeah I just feel bad for the twitter like data people that got fired but with a name like Ligma

there's no way that's his name Raul Ligma and Daniel Johnson and the person who staged a hostile takeover of your company fires you on day one and then tweets your names out making fun of you. Holy shit. There's no way his name is Zaligma. I do not believe that.

I was researching it, and I can't find a source. Some people think it's fake, like they've just been paid off as a marketing thing, like they weren't actually employees. Some people are saying they are employees, and now they're going to sue Elon Musk and make millions of dollars. If they are employees, wouldn't that be harassment like he's just harassing them no yeah but to be

fair the amount of money elon musk is gonna have to pay to these guys he he will make that back the same day he made the tweet so like it's like uh it's like a car company. They don't recall the car because they know that the amount of money it would take to fix the car would be more than the amount of wrongful death lawsuits they'd have to pay out. Oh, yeah. I heard about Ford doing that. Yeah, man. They calculated the price of human life, and then they used that number to determine whether or not it would be a good idea to recall the cars that they knew would kill people. They can't afford it. Pretty morbid.

I had one of those cars. You had one of them? Yeah, I sold it. Like Ford? Yeah. I was pretty close to paying it all off, so I just sold it. Yeah. Nice.

But I mean, yeah, like what do you guys think Elon Musk's Twitter is going to look like? I think Trump will come back. That's probably the best thing that could happen. Like, Twitter's gonna suck, but that's like the one good thing. Dude, Trump's tweets are funny as fuck. He had the funniest tweets ever. Trump, honestly, is like the best poster on there. I don't think it's controversial to say that Donald Trump's Twitter account was fucking hilarious.

Yeah, he's funny on Twitter. Especially now that he'll have no power. Like he's not the president. Seeing the unhinged shit back will make my day a little brighter. Dude, I'm not going to lie. It was a little more entertaining when he had Twitter. And now all I see are just joe biden clips where he like forgets to speak english walks off in the distance to it it's like i don't know i'd rather

have neither of them but let's if we're if we have to i don't know if you agree with that i mean come on trump on twitter that'd be kind of funny. No, no. I mean running the country, Panda. Oh. Dude, imagine having a Twitter user run the country. That's actually so sad. Because that's actually what it is. He's a Twitter user running the country, or was. Well, you know what they say, despite the constant negative press, Kafefe.

I was losing my mind when people were flipping out about that. Dude. I was losing my mind when people were flipping out about that. Dude, Donald Trump makes a typo in a tweet, and literally it's all people talk about for a fucking week. And every other day, Joe Biden does not, shows us that he's incapable of speaking English and remembering things and walking away from like speeches. And no one even bats an eye liberals are fucking insufferable for that four years like oh donald trump got two scoops of ice cream let's run the media circuit for four days like it is pretty bad welcome back to sleep deprived your favorite conservative radio talk show hope you guys are having a good day astro what do you think about immigration no donald trump sucks ass but i don't it's not

controversial he's a great poster he just is he's one of the best posters i'll say it's funny because he was the president just having a president being able to tweet like this this shit we need more presidents like this to be honest well do we i don't know about that one i don't yeah i don't we need more funny presidents i think we need more funny presidents yeah that's that's fair yeah yeah but not like that yeah yeah uh sleep deprived nation i'm saying we need more trumps in office that is exactly hey no we don't condone that. We don't. The Sleep Deprived Podcast has cut

ties with the panda. This is actually a perfect time to announce that we have cut ties with Kanye West. He is no longer an editor of the podcast. He's no longer bound. As you know, he did the theme song jingle that played in every episode.

And unfortunately, we had to go back and edit that out. So it's probably why you don't see it anymore. We edited out all the previous 80 using the YouTube editor. But man. It was really good, though. It was a good intro. It was so good. It was so good.

And those of you who are around to remember it, I'm sure we understand. You'll miss it. But we're actually starting up a new partnership, which is actually great fun to announce, Mika. are around to remember it i'm sure uh we we understand you'll you'll miss it but we'll work on we're actually starting up a new partnership which is actually great fun to announce mika um who we're working with now right oh cool yeah i'm excited to hear who the peas in a pod podcast is going to go with in the future no i mean you're about to make the announcement right now me come on me i i'm uh friends family it's so nice to have you here today um gathered for this momentous occasion i am thrilled to announce that the peas in a pod podcast will now be partnering with JetBlue Airlines

oh shit you will now be able to listen to the peas in a pod podcast on the little media player that comes that's big that's big that's gonna bring in a lot of revenue yeah so we're gonna be

like hidden away behind movies behind TVss even behind kids games to the little like audio behind music behind uh we're gonna be under the podcast category it's just gonna be us peas in a pod yep on jet blue airlines thank you they'll send around little samplers like a little mp like a little iPod shuffle to everyone in the flight, and then it'll always be playing just episode 89. Is the iPod shuffle that square? Yeah, with no screen. Dude, fuck that. That is so stupid.

No, it's actually cool. Fuck you! There's no screen! How do you know what you're doing? Dude, it was like 2005, man. There's no screen! What do you need to see? What do you need to see on it? There's no fucking screen! What do you know what you're doing? Dude? It was like 2005 there's no screen What do you know? Screen what do you need to say dude? It's me the screen You're okay. You're loading songs onto a tiny little box. You have to pick the songs to put on there

What do you need to see? How do you know what the songs you want to use you just have to keep skipping oh my god it's called the iPod Shuffle that's the point of the device I can't right now you are the nano's better if you want to win a free iPod Shuffle head on over to the second section

of the podcast before we transition yes and also it's only mint customers who uh who get the second half of the podcast if you buy comfort plus you'll get a little taste but coach coach flyers do not get uh do not get that part sorry um before we transition i have two things to say one of them uh audio listeners heard it first on Spotify. Audio listeners heard it first, baby. And JetBlue.

Second thing, this is going to be a weird ask. If there are any scientists or physicists listening to us, can you please like rocket like all of the episodes we've ever done strung together in like one continuous loop and just throw that into space and see what happens? Anyways, that's it thank you well that's actually a really cool idea let me call my buddy mark rober and i'm sure he'll make a video on that awesome baba baba booey