Sleep Deprived Podcast - Grimace Takes Over - SDP#115

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 31 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey everybody welcome back to sleep deprived podcast episode 115 hey yeah let's go he's in a pod really excited today yeah really excited today we have a lot to announce about our brand um today we're going to be announcing the opening of our theme park that we've been working on for, gosh, it's probably been three years now. Yeah, maybe at a zero, 30 years. In fact, 40, because technically I had the blueprint ready before we started even talking about it. Yeah, like 400 if we consider our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents. Our ancestors, our past lives. Yeah.

Yeah, a lot that went into this. If you subscribe to Buddhism, too, God knows how many times we've been reincarnated into this wheel. Yeah, hit that like and bell on Buddhism real quick. Yeah. Guys, let us know if you're a Buddhism fan. Down below, let us know if you fuck with Buddhism. Yeah, let us know if you fuck with buddhism yeah let us know if you fuck with siddhartha you know shout out siddhartha man yeah shout out siddhartha gautama you know

the best ever saitama you know i already forgot anyways what you want to announce the thingy-majiggy? Yeah, we're going to have a ride for each of us in the theme park, including Moist. So we're going to have a panda ride, Mika ride, Astro ride, Schlatt ride, of course. We've got to get the money. Yeah, that'll be a sad one, because we're thinking that'll be sort of like a movie ride.

You'll kind of live through the life of Schlatt from birth until his death. Yeah. So you might come off of that ride crying, but it's a moment of experience. You know those, like, American... Go ahead, Panda. We've all test-rided it, and we...

I love riding, you guys. So it is really weird. You actually do ride us. The carts that you sit in are modeled after our real human forms, which is sort of disturbing. It's disturbing at first, but it actually provides a really unique experience, because where else can you ride a panda? Yeah, well, for mine, it's just like my head and then like my

mouth is open you made it more sexual than it needed to be what you're riding your head and your mouth is open and we're just like sitting on your mouth i was not thinking of anything okay at all like you're just warping i am yeah i am warping it for community effect yeah no my my mouth is just open and like it's like those memes of like oh how other girls laugh how i laugh and then i'm like the how i laugh so it's like an attack on titan mouth oh yeah you sit in there and then my teeth are like the handrails. That's pretty interesting. Yeah, mine is actually like just a try to survive ride.

You have to sign a waiver before you go in. And it's sort of like a game of Ultimate Chicken Horse. There's just saws, flamethrowers you have to dodge. Dude, that sounds pretty good. Panda, what's your ride my ride is that one episode of spongebob in bubble world or a glove world where you go really high into the sky i thought they go down below you do isn't the glove world episode like the one where they go to the deep well that's because spongebob got lost yeah but

also it's supposed to be up well see originally he didn't like go on a ride to get lost he i can't remember exactly how that happened i think he like missed he slept too long on the bus or something but there are like roller coasters in glove world that like go all the way up that is really fun yeah i think there should be like a real life glove world but um yeah mine mine is just like a classic like crazy teacups ride but like really really fast and amped up so that you get really dizzy oh yeah does it make sense now why the mouth is open yeah it makes sense i i don't like roller coasters i think that um i think they're like i don't you know it's okay if you like them obviously like some people

find that fun but i think a lot of people just trick themselves into enjoying it that's my personal theory yeah i'm not a fan of them either like i i'm i guess i'm like the odd man out here because i will explain to me explain to me why you like it because i feel like the human body is not meant to experience the velocity at which a roller coaster flies you around like i i went to a a roller coaster park recently and by the end of it every single person in our group had some sort of infliction. I was nauseous. Two people had headaches.

One person was ready to fall asleep. The human body is not meant to experience the way these things shake your brain around. I found a newfound respect for NFL players. NFL quarterbacks, dude, their brains like hitting the ground. It's just not good, man. Yeah, I mean, I can't speak to the safety on roller coasters. I just can speak from my personal enjoyment of them. I just love the feeling of weightlessness you get from them. And I really, yeah, I love that. It's like a momentary like you're so absorbed by adrenaline and fear that you just like there's nothing else you can really think about rather other than like what's going on yeah that's exactly it you you ride up you like go up to the peak you know where

it's like it's slowly reaching you up you're like okay this is cool i'm up above and then immediately you know it drops you and there's just this immediate this is cool i'm up above and then immediately you know it drops you and there's just this immediate rush of wow i'm going to die yeah and then like a second later a second later you're like well if i die there's literally nothing i can do to do about it at this point so i'm just gonna like clench my entire ass and just try to survive yeah you're kind of putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Imagine if it went off the rails or something.

It happens. It's a great thing to tell somebody who's scared of roller coasters. You could die. It does happen. You could. I'm just putting myself in a dangerous situation by ever even going on one. That's the thing.

It's like if people ask me, like if my greatest friends are like, hey, I want to go skydiving. Like I'm not going to decline. Like I was ready to go on any ride and I did. But the whole time I'm just thinking like what kind of mind would I need to have here to enjoy this? Because this is just unsafe you gotta be an adrenaline junkie i think it's good for people i honestly it should be a means of therapy i think anyone who's like feeling down should go to a roller coaster park you know what i mean because it gives you like a sense of like you want to cling to your life a little more yeah

kind of like it makes you want to cling to your life a little more yeah kind of like it makes you want to cling to your life a little bit because you you experience what it might feel like to experience maybe a cruel heart yeah maybe i'm just like missing that part of my amygdala but like i don't feel like too much like i'm about to die it's more just like you know i'm gonna let go and whatever happens happens you know well you ride more and you get used to it but then it's still just like it's not fun like i feel like the whole time i'm just i'm grimacing like i just the most they're flying me around the most fun i've had on uh roller coaster is uh the i think the tigris at bush gardens where it like goes backwards and apparently it like is calibrated to like I don't know some like heart thing to like make you on the verge of a heart attack

I don't know and then uh there's like this manta ray roller coaster at at sea world I mean fuck sea world but like the roller coasters do go hard i don't support the animal portion of it but um it's basically i want you to imagine like a grabby claw like you're grabbing for like a plush from like an arcade machine so you're strapped into like a grabby claw and so you you fall out of the claw 90 of the time no you don't fall out but you're like facing the ground and your like limbs are dangling and then uh another one, I went on the Matterhorn. No, no, no. I went on Thunder Mountain

12 times at Disneyland in a row. Have you ever heard of the Euthanasia coaster? Yeah. Yeah. Some PhD candidate designed a roller coaster that would just kill anyone who rode it. Yeah, I'd give it a shot. And then write about it on yelp yeah yeah i don't think you'd have a chance to write about it afterwards given the the uh the outcome but yeah you basically it would shoot you all the way up

like as high as you can go slowly and then straight down like 90 degree angle and then just loop de loop after loop de loop like seven times in a row. And apparently that would just kill you. But it's designed to be a fun death if you like roller coasters. Panda, what was this about the Grimace Shake? Dude, you've seen Grimace's Ass Shake? No, I haven't. They have a whole Grimace factory

where they line up millions of Grimaces and they milk them to create this. They like to eat their fatty. Yeah, they shake their fatty and they go Ronald Kuhn and you get all the milk from the Grimace and then they take that and they boil it down to create this berry juice they've been putting in the McDonald's shakes.

Dude, what? What did I just hear? You just heard lore, man. Straight from the sword. Straight from the tap. Once you see Grimace start shaking, you can't go back. Straight from the sword. Straight from the tap. Once you see Grimace start shaking, you can't go back. He loves to shake. Is this a new item menu or something?

The Grimace shake? Yeah, dude. Have you heard? People are dying. Oh, yeah. It's all over TikTok, dude. Are you serious? Mm-hmm.

I think I was the only person to drink it and was completely fine. This just looks like... Yeah, I tried it as well. But I've heard that person to drink it and it was completely fine. I tried it as well, but I've heard that some people, it's latent. You won't feel anything, but then two weeks later, your skin starts turning purple. And then you look in the mirror and you're grimace. It's been two weeks.

It's about to set for you. This just looks like lean. Dude! What kind of lean looks like that? What lean has whipped cream at the top? Well, I mean like... Drinking lean with whipped cream and a cherry at the top? It's kind of genius.

It's kind of hard. I feel like if I were to try some lean, I'd put some whipped cream and a cherry on top. Yeah, I'm going to get a job at McDonald's just so I can put lean in the Grimace Shake instead. I mean, I swear, if you put this in a styrofoam cup, it's just so i can like put lean in the grimace shake instead i mean i swear if you put this in like uh like a styrofoam cup it would just straight up look like lean but it doesn't have the consistency of lean because it's like an it's like you're right you you would have to like double do a double take a double take yeah yeah but it looks the color of it kind of i i guess lean is oh shit dude did you know that grimace is a tooth a tooth bud

or a tongue bud what are those things taste bud what yeah he's a he is i always thought he was like a mcnugget well i googled it because like what the hell is that thing why what is that why is it purple it has a nug shape, you have to admit. A grimace? Yeah, I mean, that's a shape of a McNugget. Deformed McNugget. Come on, man. That's McNugget shape. They have a lot of

merchandise where he's featured with McNuggets. So I think that's the intention. But you're saying he's a... What'd you say he was, Panda? He's a taste bud. Is that in the official lore? i'm pretty sure yeah i don't know why it's purple though i don't know what taste buds are purple yeah have you heard of uncle o'grimacy i have not dude you guys got to google

uncle o'grimacy this was the original grimace man this he was the mascot for the shamrock shake but then the uh the guy in the costume like came out in support for the ira base he looks like a no and uh and so they stopped like advertising him altogether but that's why that you know we got the shamrock shake now it is i haven't had a shamrock shake in years but i really want to get one also this looks like the grinch but a grinch baby he looks like weed he looks like a butt he's fucking awesome i kind of like bring him back grimace yeah i don't know of any taste buds though that are so like erect for lack of a better word what do you mean for like there's no better word you can think of i don't know like like uh i don't know of any taste buds that are so like pointed upwards i don't know like yeah i feel

like when they're pointed upwards i feel like taste buds are flatter but here we have grimace and uncle grimace just like very like uh you know pointed i mean out of all the modern mcdonald's mascots that are still thriving around and doing well grimace has to be the coolest one right definitely yeah like i mean the hamburglar is super lame that is really lame i don steal anything, you steal burger. Yeah, like, I want to support a thief, just in theory, in principle, but like, look at that guy. He's a total dweeb.

Here, I'm gonna... Why don't I put a picture of all the McDonald's mascots on the screen, and I'll put it in chat as well. I'm gonna put it in chat as well. I'm going to put it in new members chat because that's just the tab I have open.

What were you going to say, Panda? I was going to suggest we should rank all of the mascots. Captain Crook, dude. Wait, Panda, what were you going to say? Go ahead. Oh, shit. I forgot. A Hamburglar indirectly promotes stealing so like i feel like if you steal food from mcdonald's that's like kind of their fault

because they promote yeah yeah you have an excuse right yeah like here you have a mascot who steals fucking burgers yeah like it should this should be okay yeah i agree i i think that sends a bad message to the customers of mcdonald's um as well as i mean birdie is just a freak i mean i don't know what birdie is that's like a dejected like rejected sesame street character hold on that thing's terrifying uh we're nuts where the heck did this image and i mean ronald mcdonald nobody likes ronald nobody likes the main character right yeah i uh go ahead panda okay you go ahead i don't like ronald mcdonald someone should do a super cut of us going no you go ahead and i want to know how long it is yeah probably like five minutes to be honest maybe four minutes oh man i think way

longer geek he looks like such a nerd if he's a loser they really just all don't compare to grimace they struck gold with grimace i i don't know what happened with the rest of them i like grimace i do like the the mayor i don't know what the mayor dude he's just a hamburger head it's kind of cool oh man have you seen officer burger or whatever his name is no officer big mac officer that guy fuck officer big mac you know who's actually like really awesome also yeah a cab um fuck officer big mac you know who's you know who you know who's being protected by officer big mac who mayor mccheese yeah okay i don't like mayor mccheese anymore that's what yeah that's what i'm talking about i don't know if you've heard about this but mayor mccheese was on epstein's flight log

it's true i actually hadn't so yeah i don't know all of his flights and anytime you bring it up to mayor mccheese he always denies it he's like that's not me i was there for business but what kind of business like you wouldn't go there for business not a good look once again i'm a bit out of the loop i'm afraid you know under my rock but i'll have to look into this i mean just based on what you're saying though don't really care for mayor mccheese anymore wait wait wait wait wait but but look But look at the Hamburglar shoes, though. He's kind of got drip. He does have the drip nice kicks on.

Those are some cool sneakers, yeah. You know who is like a hidden gem in the McDonald's cinematic universe? Who? The moon guy. The moon guy? Yeah, the jazzy moon guy. You know who I'm talking about I do

yeah I do I wish we could bring back the moon guy you know who we shouldn't bring back? we shouldn't bring back that creepy happy meal what? who? you know the creepy happy meal? the creepy happy meal

yeah it's like a happy meal with eyes and a mouth and limbs. No, I don't know that guy. Look up Happy Meal mascot. You've definitely seen this guy. Okay, Happy Meal mascot. Oh, God! You've seen that, right?

What'd that mouth do, though? What'd that mouth do? Yeah, he's a certified freak, but... The freak week is long past. Fuck that creepy guy. When did this guy ever arrive? This must be after or before my time. I feel like I never have seen this guy.

He went in and he went out. Yeah, this must have been a very short-lived experience. I don't like this guy at all. I don't like the teeth. You know what it is? He's kind of minion-esque. Did this come out of Indescribable Me? I'm'm pretty sure yeah that everyone was trying to make minions around then i really really don't like the teeth they're like pretty unsettling the minion era is not going to age

well i was thinking about this the other day i i can't imagine a time like, the early 2010s will ever be nostalgic for anyone. Yeah. Because it produced, like, all of the most garbage shit ever. I mean, we say that now, but... I know. That's what I mean. Like, eventually, there is going to be, like, this nostalgic period. And it's just going to be depressing.

It's going to be Gen Alpha pining over the 10s. Yeah. And that's where it's going to lose me. That's where I'm going to officially become an old man. I'm nostalgic over it. I'll admit it. Remember when everyone used to wear Uggs? Yeah, that's not nostalgic to me.

That's depressing. That's the most depressing reality I can conjure in my head. Does nostalgia have to be fondly? I think the undert... Usually, right? Yeah, the undertone of nostalgia is there's some sweetness to the feeling. Yeah, it's sentimental. What's bad nostalgia? Evilness?

Who could invent that? There probably is a word for that B. I don't know. I guess I would just say I look back at that time in contempt. Trauma, yeah. I have Uggs trauma. And Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

I know that isn't that early. They still do that, right? They still do that, yeah. But I remember it was such a big deal. It was such a thing. You're just describing White Girl Starter Pack 2012, I think. I know the White Woman evolved. The Snow Bunny's evolved into a new being.

What kind of being is that? I don't know. They don't do it anymore. I mean, some people are probably rocking some Uggs. You know, you put the yoga pants on, get the Uggs on, and got the Abercrombie and Fitch top. I think Uggs had a brief comeback recently or at least like a couple years ago that's like i don't know anything about

fashion but that's like the one thing i'm i know i'm right on the uggs suck i feel like drake would wear uggs oh yeah drake type of guy to wear uggs, 100%. I feel like, I don't know, the only place you could wear Uggs is in a completely sterile environment. You basically need to live in a bubble home and never leave. In the middle of nowhere. In the middle of nowhere. Like a liminal space, like a purely white room, to be honest. Remember when iPhones were really tiny and they had that white band around them?

See, this is actually why i brought it up i was looking at old iphone design like the original iphones and like looking at what the apps looked like and stuff and when i look at it i don't have nostalgia for it like when i look at when i look at y2k aesthetic i'm like oh it's like really cool and then even when i look sometimes at like slick modern design of today, sometimes I'm like, oh, it looks cool. But like early 2010s iPhone, like it just looks like shit. Yeah, I'm gonna be real with you. Like looking back on it, it does fill me with like it does fill me with memories for a time

gone past and like, you know, simpler times when I was a kid. But I think all the people saying like oh yeah the old iphone like widgets and apps like looked so cool they had so much character i don't know i think they looked really awful like we've like swung too far in the opposite direction you know like the pendulum took us from the far left to the far right of like design and uh now everything is like i i suppose like too sterile too clean like we don't need to go back to how the iphone was originally like it was so disorienting and messy to look at you're just like a centrist i'm not a ui centrist i think i think i think

things should be cleaner for ui and it should be easy to navigate that's the whole point of ui but like how things were originally it was just complicated and convoluted and like just made my eyes bleed after looking at it for too long it was ugly well what about the youtube that was built into iphones and ipods and shit yeah that was interesting like a little tv app yeah it had like a tv image yeah yeah. Yeah, I think the TV idea is cool. Like you can bring back the TV app design idea. That's crazy.

People are going to grow up not having even known that was a thing. That like iPhones came with YouTube. Yeah. No, I'm not saying you don't have to like... I'm not saying you don't have to like i'm not saying you don't have to like bring back cool varied design but i'm saying like it doesn't have to be like the

hyper realistic 3d imitation design it just doesn't work in that context i think you know sorry i'm ordering a grimace shake oh yeah for sure yeah ordering a 2010 iphone yeah cool man i'm just looking at at these mcdonald's characters have you seen the fry kids the fry kids no these are kind of cool i kind of like the fry kids oh shit they got pops of them they got the pop vinyl figures of them funko mcdonald's funko pop scuba mcnugget oh why is there funko pops for everything like some things just don't need a funko pop yeah i think the fry kids are cool though i mean we need a funko pop like if there was a sleep deprived series right of course because i mean that would be that'd be good for humanity but yeah but everything else is just stupid.

How come we've never gotten like a U2s or a Funko Pop? I've tried. Nobody likes this. They've tried sending me some like Carl Jacobs, George Not Found Funko Pop bullshit. What do you mean? Like they were just sending you samples?

Here's some of our greatest work. They were like, do you want this for free? And I was like, no. Wait, they were trying to send you Carl Jacobs Funko Pops? Yeah. They were trying to send me the Dream Team Funko Pops, but... Why the hell would they even want that? Yeah, what's the point of that?

Why didn't they offer you like a Ramy or something? I think they knew I was a big fan of Carl Jacobs. Yeah, that makes sense. I forgot you had that stage of your life. But I'd be taking that away from all the poor kids out there that really want one. That's true. And that's, it's very, honestly, a very moral act of you.

You know, setting aside your huge addiction to Carl Jacobs. I mean, you were like a big fan for a while. I remember you had like the carl jacobs foam finger what like when we were recording in person you had that foam finger with carl jacobs face on it like carl jacobs number one i was wearing the carl jacobs sweatshirt too yeah it was almost embarrassing how much you were into carl jacobs listen dude just because just because you don't like someone that's so entertaining, hilarious, and funny like Carl Jacobs, doesn't mean you can put me down.

You memorized his tweets. We would be out at parties and stuff, and you would just quote Carl Jacobs, and no one knew what you were talking about. It was just hard to be around you. Yeah, I mean, I would always try to plug you guys in about like all the the carl jacob inside jokes and memes from reddit but you guys yeah panda i i want to support you and i i feel like you know whatever makes you happy like i'm i'm all for it but i did feel a bit uncomfortable when we were in public and you were like wearing a mask of Carl Jacobs face yeah and you made everyone refer to you as the one true carler that was weird just because you

guys are quackity stands all right it doesn't it doesn't matter we can all like each other equally just cuz I well look let's just say I'm I'm glad that that stage is behind us because you know obviously nowadays you don't consume as much Carll jacobs right and i mean thank god ever since carl jacobs didn't have a bad opinion ever on anything i just got over him do you think if mr beast burger adds curly fries he'll name them carly fries that's good he already has a carl jacobs menu item though that would be giving him too much power i would i think we should axe the carl jacobs menu item though that would be giving him too much power i would i think we should ask the carl jacobs burger whatever hey it's not a burger it's the carl's grilled cheese thank you very much it includes two hamburger top buns that are flipped upside down with cheese in

the middle oh right yeah thanks these burgers are done what yeah then they stopped beast they stopped beast burger i don't think they did I'm about to go beast mode I'm just that was a good one I'm just saying let's rename the Carl grilled cheese to like the yeah who who

name it like you can't even name another one name it the Astros I don't want to be involved Astros space cheese you and then just make it the astros i don't want to be involved astros space cheese you and then uh just make it the carly fries the carly fries i'm gonna think they're like named after i carly yeah like it doesn't it's too carly is its own name so it's kind of confusing it's one stone we could uh integrate like fuse carl jacobs with iCarly like have them morph into like they share two halves

of the same body and then it's like oh cause I'm Mr. Beast I do crazy wacky inventive stuff I fused two people together and they got 10 million dollars so it's like half curly fry half straight fry

that'd be pretty cool like imagine if mr beast cut two people and then fuse them together i think we're close man i don't know i think we're gonna get there mr beast is gonna pull up and be like uh i turned someone into grimace to celebrate the new grimace shake says mr b steinder mr burger mr burger mr burger i think you should just name the new Grimace Shake. Says Mr. Beast Steiner. Mr. Burger. Mr. Burger! Mr. Burger. I think he should just name himself Mr. Burger. He should go full in

on Mr. Beast Burger and just become Mr. Burger. And he should name his first name Berg so he's Berg Burger. Berg Burger? Yeah. I've always had this idea that uh have you guys heard about the spaceship shit

where if you pay like $4500,000 you can go into space yeah for like 5 hours you don't even really go into space though you just like go up into like the upper echelon of the atmosphere I think Mr. Beast should pull his crew and play Among Us in space.

I've always thought about that. How has there not been a YouTuber that hasn't played Among Us in space? He should take it a step further. Wait, are you talking about they're playing the video? No, no, no. They're playing Among Us in real life in space. Oh, okay, cool.

For a second, I just pictured all of them in space huddled around computers on their laptops. Just playing them is not important. I think that's a great idea. Yeah, that would be kind of a mess. I don't know. I think he's probably scared following the whole submarine thing. He probably is a little scared to get inside of any vehicle

that ventures above or below oh yeah that's right he was supposed to be on the submarine right yeah apparently mr beast uh got invited to go on that submarine it's almost like this billionaire guy who was running this submarine company was trying to take people out maybe he was the one the one savior of humanity wait well did the submarine get magnet humanity. Wait, did the submarine get magnetized to the side of the Titanic? What?

Yeah, like, was that the reason it wasn't able to move because it got, like, magnetic connection to the Titanic? It imploded. Wait, how exactly did that happen, though? Did it just sink to the bottom? No, it imploded. What do you mean?

I want you to imagine crushing a pop can really quickly. How? How does that... With all the materials that you use, surely that wouldn't happen, right? Yeah, one would think. Yeah, carbon fiber is such a great material. You know, what if this is like the new Tupac thing where people think these guys are actually still alive? You think he's kicking it

with Kurt Cobain? Maybe. Tax fraud. Maybe they're just like, they committed a crime so they needed a way out. I think that's giving them too much credit. Yeah. Come listen to us speculate more about this conspiracy theory over at the patreon section of the pod

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