Sleep Deprived Podcast - Gym Maxing - SDP #132

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 29 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey what's up everybody welcome to the sleep deprived podcast episode 132 yeah hey panda i'm done with this negative nancy talk mister we're putting you into the corner we're wrapping you up like haven't you guys heard every conversation that we could even have with each other like are you guys sick of this it's a problem no no they love this they love this and they love giving to the patreon and they love commenting how hot we are all the comments on this one are going to be about how hot we are like 500 yeah we have all been jim maxing haven't we oh yeah i've been jim halford maxing i've been watching this is the office over and over again and I've been studying the way he

turns to the camera I'm really good at it want to see me do it right now yeah see that was pretty good actually I know where did you learn how to do that well I've been watching the office I've been gym maxing dude uh for real though panda was saying before we started recording that that he's been gym maxing isn't that right panda yeah i've just been eating creatine pure no water i've been chewing it it sounds kind of like just the cinnamon challenge but with protein powder yeah you're you're suggesting yourself to a youtube challenge every day yeah why don't you mix it with water or like into a smoothie or like yogurt or something that's what b-e-t-a-s do b yeah i gotta i gotta i had to spell that out yeah yeah no it is it does i gotta be if i if i keep doing this then i'll adjust to it and then i could do

a cinnamon challenge easily i mean think about it think about it this way imagine if a strong buff man died from eating cinnamon imagine that that can't be me that won't be me i'm gonna do the ice bucket challenge on you right now the ice spice challenge what's that i'm gonna dump uh cold ice spice on you fuck what if we just combined a bunch of prehistoric challenges, like the ice bucket challenge with the cinnamon challenge? So you dump a bucket of iced cinnamon water on someone. What if I combined your body with Panda's, like ripped your fucking limbs off, and stapled them onto Panda's back so Panda looks like a big spider?

That's cool. I'd probably find a way to kill myself. I wouldn't allow that. I'd caress your chin and we'd live forever he'd pick you up with his eight arms four of which are yours yo uh what are your favorite um panda what protein powder do you eat like what brand poop poop do you hear that that isn't. I said poop. I'm just going to admit it. I said poop. Yuck. There probably is protein in poop, right?

Oh yeah. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know either. Dude, Mika, I've been poop maxing. Poop maxing is real. Yeah, you just eat a lot of 5 or 1. Yeah. Think about it. Your body's like 70 water if like on if you sit in the sun a lot yeah you'll lose

like 80 of your weight think about that is so smart mika have you ever thought of this because i know you're like a literal doctor oh my god you're like a superhero. Have you thought of this? I actually haven't. I have been water maxing lately, though. Oh, what's that? I've just been trying to stay on top of how much water I'm drinking. Like a water bulking. Yeah, that's more like water bulking. The first thing I do when I wake up is drink two glasses of water.

That's awesome. I just imagine you just waking up really quickly and just chugging those down it's actually you're a gulper i am a gulper yeah you're a swallower but if i don't uh start my day with two glasses of water i just feel really like awful i'm gonna replace that water with like sprite, Sprite. Is it, like, Sprite with sugar in it? Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be a lot of sugar.

What they say about McDonald's Sprite is true. It is better. But I've heard it's the straw. It's the straw science. No, it's not. I had a paper fucking straw. What? And it was still good? was still good oh my god fucking paper straws i'm still on that shit i genuinely believe that shit paper straws are

just a waste of time i had a roller coaster life with it at first i was like bullshit you know i was like really reactionary i was like oh this fucking sucks and then then i started coming around to it i said i still got a little thicker you know like they've made them a little better i'm like okay maybe i can can deal with this but now after like four or five of them i'm back to it fuck the paper straws man yeah i don't have a strong enough opinion on paper straws i just uh i just take the lid oh. Oh my god. You're just strawmanning right now. You are centrist. You are centrist maxing.

Yeah. I'm a straw sitter. You know that cheesy head guy? The mozzarella stick head? The one whose head is splitting into five different parts? Yeah, that's you.

Yeah, honestly. I'm usually, my head is split in five different ways on one particular subject or matter. Damn. So you have five or six different possibilities of which you could take every thought. Pretty much, yeah. That's genius. I think I'm goingcdonald's tonight just because like we we talked about it now and uh now that you brought up like the mcdonald's sprite i'm

like considering it but usually i just get a coke zero with no ice you know that scene in oppenheimer where he goes out to the lake yeah and he's like imagining all the numbers flying by well he sees this really smart guy the guy with the white hair that's you what albert einstein bitch that's you dude let's talk about that albert einstein dude when he appeared on the screen in that movie i fucking laughed yeah they put they got this guy that looks like a little Einstein. He looks like Einstein's cousin or something. And he's Einstein in the movie. And when Einstein's head turns towards the camera and you see it,

oh my god, I just started laughing. Do you think Einstein Jim Maxes? I think he dick Maxes. He's that one image where he's like, where do you work out? The library. I think he E-Maxes. He's that one image where he's like, where do you work out? The library. I think he emaxes. What's an emax? EMC squared.

Damn. Yeah, that's right. I remember that one. Go ahead, Panda. I just want to say, Mika, I completely agree with you for not wanting ice in your drink. Getting ice in your drink, first of all, you get less drink. Second of all, it's annoying. It's loud. Oh, yeah. Third of all, it's probably dirty fucking

water. Yeah. Ew. You get less drink. Did I say that? I don't know if I said that already. You do. Then the ice starts contaminating the drink, so it's not completely the drink anymore. It's water mixed with the drink.

It's just a bunch of bullshit. And they always give you that. And you get, let's drink. Counterpoint, though. Yeah. You can take them out and chew on them. You could take all the ice, put it in your mouth like Patrick Star when he's full of snowballs in that one episode,

and just think about how cool that would be. But I heard from dr fauci that's bad for your teeth no no fauci doesn't know what he's talking about he really is i have a really bad habit i'll chew on all the ice like whenever i get a drink that has ice in it i will crush all the ice but uh recently i I chipped my teeth. No! Yeah. Which one? The front. Are you going to get grills? No. Oh, that'd be sick.

No, I got it filled. I'm not going to share the story of how I chipped it because it's like really embarrassing. Dude, can you seriously get a diamond tooth? I was like, I was joking around with my dentist. I was like, he was like um oh yeah if it was a bigger chip we'd have to like whatever replace the tooth i was like can i get a gold one dude that's not a joke you should get like a diamond encrusted one like take the podcast funds because we're rich and and buy a diamond encrusted tooth yeah maybe if schlatt if schlatt

gives us a raise yeah maybe schlatt gives us more than one percent of the patron i'm just kidding dude he showed me my teeth x-ray he was like oh yeah your showed you your teeth no sorry my dentist that's your dentist yeah he showed me uh in in between like you know in between filming videos he put on his dentist hat and he showed me my x-ray. Dentist hat? Yeah, he was like, by the way, your bottom teeth are fine. But I noticed there's a bunch of lines here. I don't know what those are.

But I have a really bad feeling that at any point, my entire bottom row of teeth will just like obliterate because i've been chewing ice for like my entire life like it looks like uh when you see cracks in the pavement that's basically like all my bottom teeth i looked up dentist hat and it came up with this drippy hat i just posted it in the craig bot channel put them on the screen miko okay would you cop he's not gonna put on the fucking screen let's real. He never puts it on the screen! This is me to fuck off. What do we pay you for, Mika? We literally pay you!

We fucking pay you for this! I have started putting things on the screen. I think we should give this job to a factory worker in some random country. Yep. We could do it with india and um with fiber we could outsource this podcast editing overseas like companies do imagine

like a factory editor of sleep deprived editors no it's just like a great idea dude we should fucking get we should do that what's fucking stopping us we could be making videos every day it's like a conveyor belt with like stations with people at computers and it's like the sd card gets passed down so it's like every every worker does like one thing on the edit somehow people should respect us you know our viewers should respect us because if you know we're real because if we weren't we would be putting videos out every hour we should just do a tiktok reaction every hour we'd get rich we would literally make infinite money dude our last tiktok reaction was a one out of ten if we just kept doing that we'd have a million subscribers literally if we just fucking posted drivel like just didn't you like tried like five percent as hard and posted every hour a 20 minute tiktok

reaction oh my god we'd be rolling it out we should actually do that if we just did that for a year straight we could retire oh my god we could retire mika we need to do this something i don't understand is um people in the comments will complain non-stop about tiktok reactions but they still are like the top performing videos so it's like yeah it's very funny um the comments we receive like in terms of complaints like we'll do a like if we do a video game that like no one wanted and it gets like no views the comments like this was amazing but then if we get one that you know like a one out of ten they're like oh another guardic phone i'm gonna kill myself and you're like all right yeah well i think people need to understand that we do want to play like you know

fun a variety of games like that's what we want we want to have fun we want you guys to have fun too but we also need to keep the lights on like we and also some of this some of that shit is actually fun too like videos that we're doing a lot of like uh i don't know like a lot of like like garter phone like jackbox those are actually still fun yeah i know I know what it is. What is it, Panda? It's Contrarians. I know.

I know how these people are. Yeah. Been there, done that. Fuck you guys. You guys like Minecraft. You guys like Roblox. You like all these popular games. We know.

Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Yeah. Honestly, can I, this might be a really controversial opinion, but things that are popular are actually good. Not always, but most of the time. Most of the time, yeah. But I mean, if you think about it, technically all the time,

because it's popular to people, people are liking it. If it wasn't good, would it be so popular? Which is not to say that things that are not popular you know no i actually disagree now because there's an illusion of choice what is like like like there's a lot of the things that are popular are forced into people's faces and they don't have another option like what like you're like it like coke i i can't fucking yeah yeah like coke i wish i could express this better. But Coke is good.

Coke is so mid, bro. There's so many drinks better than Coke. Let's be real. The thing is, you have all this stuff propped up by money and whatnot, whereas a lot of ideas that don't have any money can't actually make it. Oh, yeah. I'm not saying that things that are not popular are not good there are a lot of things that are criminally underrated but i think you

can that's what i'm saying though like the the competition is unfair like it's unbalanced so stuff at the top is is there a lot of times unfairly kind of like it's probably a bunch of channels way funnier than us but we're we're getting all the money we're getting all the views like you know it's for them like think is jerry seinfeld the funniest comic no yes no that's a good point he's the most famous comic ever i wonder how many people are like that but just like popular things like because you know everybody everybody has something popular they hate but there's probably like some guy out there that just likes everything popular just because it's popular like yeah

like that's based marvel that's fine that's most people i guess what i'm trying to say is like i'm not saying if something is popular or the most popular it's like the best but i think if something is popular it like meets it it meets like a certain benchmark for being good otherwise it wouldn't be so popular yeah i suppose because i mean someone had to enjoy it yeah yeah but did you see um did you hear about digital circus this thing that just like exploded the amazing digital circus yeah i have no clue what it is but i started getting a bunch of nihilistic memes with one of the characters looking at their dinner. And I saw on YouTube,

this video was posted a couple days ago and it has like 30-something million views already. Yeah, I mean, I respect it. I respect independent art. What is Digital Circus? It's like a clown character and they like wake up in this fucking you know creepy toy world and they're like oh shit where am i you know and it turns out they're like stuck in there jumbo josh and yeah with jumbo josh and

fnaf freddy damn and then sansale. I kind of want to check that out. It's sort of like a Has-Been Hotel, like MySpace, like a Newgrounds parody type beat. I'm going to check that out. Sounds pretty cool. It's like a Papyrus Undertale. Dude, did you know that Papyrus is named after a font? What font is he named after?

Do you know gaming? Papyrus damn yo what are your guys favorite uh favorite exercises when you're gym maxing i'm just really curious lifting heavy stuff like if there's a big rock i'll try to lift it up because imagine walking around and seeing a rock and not be able to lift it up pussy shit honestly fair like you ever see a rock you can't lift up and you're like fuck i can't lift this rock but you know what i should daryl daryl could lift up the rock i love daryl i didn't have that uh i didn't have that urge but when i got really into breath of the wild i would like go for a walk and i would see like a rock and I would try to press the A button with my thumb on a controller that wasn't there because I needed

to lift it. Astro, the question was, what's your favorite exercise when you're gym maxing? Oh, I've just been I've just been walking. I've been walking and jogging. But I found out that there are certain muscles in my body that are like fucking strong like i'm like ripped and then there are muscles in my body that are so weak they're like little tiny they're like the they're tiny little shrivels little nuggets what kind of ripped muscles do you have for some reason you know when i go to the shoulder press i can only do like you know 40 pounds or like 30 pounds but when i do like uh uh the lower back thing i can do like 200 fucking pounds and then when i do like the leg thing i can do like you know a lot like 180 pounds and then i but

then i go to the bicep curl and i can only do like 30 pounds it's crazy that does check out though because if you if you think about it like um the shoulder press is not really something you do in your functional life like you're not lifting things i'm not a monkey with your shoulders yeah or you're not curling things with your biceps so usually those are the most underdeveloped and like when you stop gym maxing they're usually the first muscles to start okay so it's actually really common like what i'm experiencing so you're saying yeah yeah sweet that's awesome now i'm not scared anymore i'm ripped in those areas because i carry the

channel okay let's hear a bunch of jokes, funny man. Alright. Why chicken cross the road? Why? Okay, that was actually funny. That laugh I just had was genuine. They got me. I think what's unfair is you're specifically funny to me.

But Mika didn't laugh there. Mika laughed laughed I heard it Mika you laughed I did not laugh no I think Panda I find your jokes funny but Mika doesn't you have to find a joke that makes Mika laugh

see that made me laugh again not Mika you gotta find a Mika joke it's been good man I wonder why. It's been good, man. I wonder why. Mika, what type of stuff do you find funny? Wait, Mika, do you ever laugh? Sometimes.

Fuck, dude, if I could get Mika to laugh, I would feel better than ever. Actually, let's try getting Mika to laugh. Whoever makes him laugh wins. Okay, you go first, then I'll go. We'll do best of three. Alright, Mika. Floppy vagina. See, he could be laughing, though.

Maybe he just has his hand over his mouth. Mika. Yeah? Do you remember that one time where we were in the living room? We were playing Jackbox. And you said this Jackbox the living room we were playing jackbox and and you were you like you like uh set this uh

this uh jackbox answer in and it was so funny do you remember that what was the jackbox jackbox answer i don't remember do you remember i don't remember but i remember the moment it was so funny remember Remember that? Yeah. If you could do an impression of when you were laughing then, what would it sound like? I don't know. Come on! I thought that would get him! Fuck!

That was close. Mick, who's your favorite comedian? Wait, he's smiling though. I got him to smile. My favorite comedian? Yeah. I actually don't watch a lot of comedy so i wouldn't be able to know tell you like a comedian by name to be honest is it my turn what was the joke there i'm just trying to understand mika's comedy we're trying to get into his psyche

yeah okay well let me try a joke this one's gonna get mika mika you ready i'm ready um why do you have to watch out for ninja's farts why mika are you ready yeah they're silent but deadly but deadly right right yeah he's smiling i got him to smile again i'm getting close we might crack this egg panda hit him with your most intense joke we need like a pun like we can't rely on potty humor or anything we need like pun you're right it's only us that finds poop funny hmm okay mika yo um so i was like looking at you you know yeah i was like looking at you like down down the hallway right yeah i was me getting you like peeking like me peeking like peak meek yeah

that was my funniest joke that didn't work you can imagine this you take a time machine and you look outside you see a meekasaurus that one is good see he could be laughing right now like we don't know

okay Mika what if I have been on meat this whole time and you just don't know exactly what's invisible and smells like carrots invisible carrots a bunny fart Mika likes wholesome innocent things

something like that okay mika yeah what happens when you make a bean and onion casserole um you make dinner good tear gas really oh man wait how what's like the like what's the process that makes that hey mika oh chatterfang squirrel general i love that guy that guy's sick hey mika what do you call a ghost fart um what a spirit bomb okay okay a horse walks into a bar why the long face yeah why the long face mika you're making this very fucking difficult i'm gonna be honest you won't laugh at anything man i i don't know if i've ever heard you laugh hysterically you don't have fun no i i have fun it's just like it's on the inside i think i think there have only shit dude that like... It's on the inside. I think... I think there have only been... Bullshit, dude!

That's bullshit. It's on the inside. Oh, he just laughed! He just laughed! He just laughed! I win. I did it. I win. You win. God damn it. It's been like a very select amount of people who have heard my true...

my genuine laugh when something is actually... I'm not gonna lie. I have heard you my true like uh my genuine laugh when something is like actually i'm not gonna lie i have heard you laugh like that yeah what was the joke well i i can't really think of any moment in particular but i mean don't you guys know where it's like more situational like for me i don't know if jokes really get me but it's like the situ like situations will make me laugh or like no i mean i think that's i think that's kind of the same for for everyone just at like different intensities yeah like it's more like a situational thing like someone could do something that's not even very funny but like in the moment it's like very funny or like someone could just like

like i could find someone just like funny versus like some people i don't find funny i don't know if that like does that resonate yeah i mean sometimes in real life i'll see fucked up things happen and i'll laugh yeah i'm not gonna lie i have i have a little bit of a weird humor like that too like well i think like um like if it's like kind of fucked up but not like horrible like it's like it's like very funny like just seeing somebody like like fail you know like one time i was at the at a goodwill and this woman uh was like buying like these glasses and she was like talking about like how much she loved them like she was like oh i'm so happy to get these and like she just fucking dropped them on the ground and they all shattered and she just went that was the one i wanted like out loud

and i i fucking think about that and laugh all the time it's it's because it's like yeah it's like so sad but it's not life-ruining you know it's like funny you know what i mean yeah i don't try to rationalize it sometimes i just find fucked up things funny well i don't rationalize it like in the moment but afterwards i'm like thinking about it you know i might have gotten being i don't know i mean like there's definitely like such a thing as like laughing when you're like in a tense or uncomfortable situation no like nervous laughter yeah i definitely have like a nervous laughter like response and uh what when was he nervous laughing in the forest yeah i think about that all the time like that's crazy yeah

no there there have been like moments where i've like actually gotten in trouble like um at uh a funeral someone asked me to speak when i was a kid and i started making like jokes on the that's crazy i mean like honestly the the p the i don't even want to call it the audience but like the people who were attending the funeral were like laughing i don't know maybe sometimes there is like such a thing as like appropriate comedic relief and like a very depressing situation yeah that actually probably was a really good moment oh i can think of an example like if someone i don't know someone just jumped off a bridge and someone made a joke after like um uh well that was on fault.

I don't know. Just something like that. I'd probably laugh if there if there was a good joke to something that just fucked up happened right before my eyes. I'd probably laugh. I probably couldn't control it. I'm going to be honest. Yeah, especially if it's like a nervous type of laugh, like just to self soothe or something.

I don't think that's what it is. I think it would just be funny to me. Oh, OK. Maybe I don't know. Maybe we're both different. I don't know if I would laugh at a tragedy. No, I'm I think that's what it is. I think it would just be funny to me. Oh, okay. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe we're both different. I don't know if I would laugh at a tragedy. No, I think I'm fucked up. Well, everyone is different.

I don't know. Like, I'm not going to judge you. Mika, if you jumped off a bridge and someone made a joke about you and I laughed, I hope you would judge me. Um, like, why am I jumping off this bridge? Um, you dropped your chatterfink squirrel general card oh i would go straight into the soup for that card i'm jumping off dude world war ii guys love world war ii that's all i think about world war ii and the roman empire true yeah but did you ever have people who would like come talk about world war ii at your school

i was in world war ii damn i i killed millions of nazis in my past life that's pretty based dude i had an idea for a video game what if it was like you could become all your past lives and then gain like an ability from them you know it sucks my mom genuinely believes in my past life i was kurt cobain so i only got like i only got so much time left you know it's crazy people make so many jokes about him killing himself but they don't do it to anyone else does anyone that's because that's because he's punk oh okay like you know what i mean i i seriously think that though there's a bit of a punk element to it you know like you can be a little subversive

because that's how he would have been hey patreon yeah patreon patreon segment oh do we have to say the fucking thing yeah we gotta do the segue okay well the podcast is funnier for the next 30 minutes.

So patreon.com slash sleep deprived. Baba booey. Yeah. Follow us over to the patron section. You got extended episodes, um, uncensored videos, a discord server,

Minecraft server, bonus shows. Uh, yeah. Baba booey. Uh, boo.