Sleep Deprived Podcast - Joe Biden Joins The Podcast - SDP #97

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 27 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey hey everybody sleep deprived podcast it's me schlack and i'm here on the sleep deprived podcast with episode 97 of the sleep deprived podcast joining with me today is mika hey everybody happy to be here great uh well what are we going to talk about today, man? Well, I think we should first just address the elephant in the room. A panda is away today. Yeah. But we got an amazing guest in his absence. Please welcome.

Very amazing. I'm very epic. Epic as fuck, one could say. Okay. I actually did not know he was. I booked Trump. Wow. I would not you know yeah I did they say are you know sleep to pray fuck yes I love the sleep to pray

fuck as it's fucking good he's a fan I love him I did it pay him I can is not an amazing sorry he talks a lot no I just want to quickly make clear. Sit down. Sit down. I'm not calling him an amazing guest. You're calling me epic. It's epic.

It's amazing. You said I was epic. You said Donald J. Trump is freaking epic. I literally never said that. You didn't say that. I literally never said that. Mika, why would you say that if you didn't believe it? I didn't say it. I don't believe it i didn't say it i

don't believe it this is the problem with the liberal media they say one thing and then they say another i told melania that is the fullest shit that is true donald thank you that's very true hey uh trump yeah it was good man is it okay if i touch you down there? Yeah, you can touch my penis. I mean, you could joke me. I've been gooning with the penis. Sometimes we goon together. I like to goon things.

We can goon together. We could goon. Okay, are you into Goatsy? No, not really. My nanny and my son. My son loves Goatsy, but I don't really like it. Your son? Which son? I mean, obviously not.

I don't know their names to be honest. I kind of forgot their names. I'm just running a country. I have a presidential campaign. There's added more important things I need to talk about. All right. Well, what would you like to use your platform here on the Sleep Deprived podcast to talk about? Well, I had this other thing I want to talk about.

I want to talk about Justin Roiland. Man, I am so glad that guy is going in jail. I fucking hated that guy. Yeah, he sucked. That guy was terrible. And also, this is a message to all my ops. I'm going to kill you, bro, with this blicky. I'm going to slap your face in half.

What? What? Trump, do you have anything nice to say like something wholesome like do you like uh what's your favorite food uh yeah as true i like your only fans i've been a two three seven we weren't supposed to talk about that uh that's how I met Trump. I met him on my OnlyFans. You did? Great stuff. I get the special treatment. I get the special treatment. He gave a lot of money. Wait a second.

Hold on. Wait a second. I just tried to go see the OnlyFans, and it's not there anymore. So I took it down just for Trump. Oh. You took it down. I'm the cash cow. I got a lot of money.

I got lots of money. I made more money than you, to be honest. So I was able to buy his whole supply, the whole supply. I'd spend all my money. I mean, I don't keep my money. Do you think I keep it? Money's made to be spent, Donnie. I don't know.

Money's made to be spent, Donnie. Don't call me Johnny. You hoard it? Only my homeboys, only my gangster G disciples can call me homeboy. Okay. Okay. I don't think I said that. Did I say that?

I don't think you said that. I don't think I called him. I don't think I called him homeboy. Cause I'm the Don. I'm the doubt of the new era. Right. Don, you're getting a little weird.

I have a, I have a question for you, Donald Trump. Would you, Donald Trump. Would you rather be a squirrel or a mouse? I'd rather be stacking up cash. I mean, I want so much money. I'm going to count all the Donald Bills. I got Benjamins.

I got Franklins. I got all of it. I don't have time for these stupid questions. What I like about this podcast is when you guys talk about airplanes because I'm thinking about buying an airplane. So why don't you guys talk about that? Okay. A genuine question.

Do you prefer JetBlue or United Airlines? I prefer a private jet. I don't take poor people airlines. Yeah. That's a good point. What's your favorite thing to do in a private jet, would you say? I like to zerk off. Not even zerk off, zerk off.

I like spanking the chicken. So true. What is zerk? Who's zerking? Okay, wait, hold on. This is the second person on the podcast who has said zerking off. What is zerking off? Zerking off, man.

No. What does that mean? I think you need to try it. What do you mean zerking off? Zerking off, man. No. What does that mean? I think you need to try it. What do you mean zerking? What is the difference between zerking off and zerking off? I'm zerking right now. You're not zerking on the podcast.

I'm watching him zerk. Please do not zerk on the pod, man. We're doing a one-on-one. It's making me uncomfortable. Guys, I'm a little nervous. How am I doing? Am I good? Am I good? Am I being a little cringe? Am I being baseless? You're just fucking horrible, dude. You're being super cringe. Fuck you, hashers. Fuck you.

Fuck you, Mikasakis and Jay Slatsy. I can see you guys. Maybe someone else should get on the pod, huh? How about that? I'm tired of this guy. This guy sucks. I know another guy. I know some guys know i know some guys i knew some guys who is fucking loser all right yeah call him up oh man that was rough well i'm glad we got him out of there oh that is not any better that is not any better. That is not any better. Joe! Wake up, Joe! Wake up! Joe!

What is that? Joe, what were you dreaming about, man? What were you dreaming about? You're on the Sleep Trap podcast. I was dreaming about fucking big broody bitches with fat titties. Okay. Why does Donald and Joe act the exact same way? I don't know if it's a coincidence. I've been spitting too much time around Donald's.

He introduced me to Hentai. Are you allowed to say that on my time out, man? I need my medication. Yeah, why don't we get a shot in you? Hey, Joe, what kind of medication are you taking? Anytime you see me on the screen in front of people, it's actually just a deep fake. I'm in bed sleeping most of the time. What kind of medication are you on, Joe?

We actually have an in-house pharmacist. Adderall, Advil, anything. Here's the deal, Mika. All the ads. Anything, all the ads. Any ad I see about a drug I can take, I do it. I'm on 50 Zans right now, Mika Sokos. 50 Zans. now mikusakis 50 zans dude nice you ever um you ever

go up and try to perk what have i tried a perk have you tried a perk no i'm off the perks so joe this is an anti-drug podcast we don't we don't talk about that here biden i actually have some like genuine questions for you about like policy in america and i think you're sure fat go fat um yeah so i saw a clip circulating of you saying that you know you're like in favor of socialism for america i was just wondering if you could speak to that. Here, can you give me my flashcards? They're over there.

I need to get them to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me have a grab for you. Okay, okay. All right. I love socialism and everything of that nature. I can't read this shit. I want to go to bed.

You just woke up. I want to play four-day with Donald. I want to play four-day with Donald again. this shit i want to go to bed i want to play fort i want to i want to play fort day with donald don't want to play for donald again i don't want to be here no dude okay before you go we genuinely i have like a genuine question for you is it okay if i ask you what what so so this is like the perfect opportunity for me to ask you i don't know how many more guests we're going to have on the podcast and every time we've had a guest i ask them this question and i figure since you're like the most powerful man in the country um i would just ask you i would just throw it out there weak it's no man he's a soft boy okay well i'm soft on the inside my my e-girl mika my e-girl just dumped me it's okay man you i bet lots of you can change my username-girl mika my e-girl just dumped me that's okay man you i bet lots of mika i changed

my username to suicidal mika it's it's over i mean it's not too late to turn back like you didn't like use a black banner did you mika mika mika mika are you saying i should go on demon tam right now on what should i should i be on demon time right now demon tam i don't know what that i don't know listen you're the most paula tame and paula listen this guy's off his rocker dude listen you're you hold the highest seat in the in the country i just want to ask you this question okay so you know world hunger right now fuck that i don't give a fuck about that sometimes i talk about pertaining to care about that type of shit but i don't care about it at all i mean okay i appreciate your honesty but like okay hear me out so we have a plane right

and the plane it has like an in-house kitchen that makes burgers, and you can fry up some patties, give them some toppings, put them in between two succulent buns, and then you throw them out of the plane and deliver them to the people down below to feed them. It's a good idea. What do you think? I think you should shoot me in the head.

Hey, man, listen. Let's not go there just yet. I want to die. Well, I know. I want to die. It's very, it's overwhelmingly obvious. I'm so tired of living. I'm the oldest man in office.

I know. I know. And, you know, you do raise a good point that shala jay shala i want to kill myself i'll be all in front of you i get that and maybe it's time for a younger candidate because uh you know like the two people who are probably going to run next presidential cycle will both be over 80 which i don't think is great for the country, you know? I agree. Yeah, just being honest, it's not too good for the country.

I mean, look at you. I mean, you lived through, you lived, you were alive during World War II. Listen, guys, listen, folks, listen, fellas, listen, vets. I got several Galax in my pocket right now. I carry so many stiffies on me no you don't i'm a shooter i got shooters joe i don't know man i think it's time for your for your granddaughter to take you to bed joe i need more percocets yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna take another percocet and i'm gonna leave this thing let's let's call up another guest? I think we should call up another guest. Let's call up another guest.

I know another Joe. I know another Joe we could bring on. Who's another Joe? Hey, what's going on, guys? Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Hey, Mr. Rogan. So you guys are trying to compete with me, I heard, right? No. No, no, Joe.

We don't compete with me i i heard right no no no joe we don't we don't compete with you yeah you run you know intellectual podcasts for smart people and we run you know sleep deprived i'm also associated with many gangs that could take you out swiftly okay what you are i didn't know that actually i got so many shoes just like by the mean by we were in the same coup can you so some of them like can you identify some of course i can that that's classified i can't write out my g's my homeboys so so joe go ahead astro i'm sorry like i was hearing about this all meat diet you were going on yeah it makes my poops hard yeah it makes my poops hard as a rock. They look like Lincoln logs. You could probably stack them like that, too.

Wow, that's crazy. Hey, can Jamie pull that up? Jamie died. Jamie passed away a long time ago, and I really wish you wouldn't bring her up with me right now. Is that true, or are you on DMT right now? I might be on DMT. I might be lying out of my ass right now. I probably smoke 40 Zoobies right now. You're not even going to hit us with one, Jamie, pull that up.

Like, not even one, just for old times' sake. Jamie died, Mika. And now you guys are laughing. You guys are laughing over a dead human being. It actually sounds like him. What do you mean, that is him? What do you mean it sounds like him. What do you mean that is him? I am Joe Rogan. That's actually Joe? Yes.

I actually am Joe Rogan. This is so disrespectful. You need some alchemy. Astro, I heard you're a vegan. No, Astro, I heard you're a vegan. I'm going to put you on 50 prescriptions of alchemy. You're going to eat the alchemy and It's going to coarsely your veins. You're going to feel better, rejuvenated, strong.

That's what we're going to do with you. That shit probably tastes horrible. Wait, Schlatt, haven't you had elk meat before? No. Have I talked about that? Chase Schlatt, are you a fan of my work? I think you watch me a lot, right? I saw you live.

I saw you live. I saw you live. I saw you live. You did? Yeah. You did? I came to one of your shows. Did you come to one of my shows, or did you appear in one of my shows? I was on the second floor.

Did you feel a little precipitation? I felt a little precipitation in the air. Okay. My gums were kind of smushy more than usual. Might have been me. Might have been me more than usual i gotta say i love what you do though like i'm a big fan of of your work i'd love to come on the podcast sometime yeah i don't know if that's gonna happen okay no that's cool no that's fine that's fine holy shit i get the whole like you know like you need to separate you know work and friends and life

and all that i totally get that well i don't even know, like, you need to separate, you know, work and friends and life and all that. I totally get that, Joe. Well, I don't even know if I would call you a friend. You see, I have a Spotify deal. I'm only allowed to accept the biggest of the biggest guests. No, I've got a top 30 podcast for comedy. Oh, yeah. Well, I got a top one, buddy, buddy, buddy.

I got a top one podcast. We got Jordan Pearson. We got Joey Diaz podcast we got jordan pearson we got joey diaz we got everybody we even we've had everybody joe can i be honest with you i think i think your podcasts and your guests are kind of corny i think you're lame kill yourself wow i think you're lame man i think you're lame fuck you lame fuck you I was giving this podcast publicity I said fuck you I was giving this podcast publicity You poor scrub trash I was giving you publicity

And now you guys are treating me like shit You guys need this I was going to promote the Patreon too I was going to promote the Sleep Deprived Patreon The $5 tier, the $15 tier, and the $69 tier But now I'm not going to do that anymore Go take some more ivermectin Yeah you still take that iver that anymore. Go take some more ivermectin. Yeah, you still take that ivermectin?

Don't play with ivermectin. Don't play with ivermectin. Really? He actually talked about that in the show I went to. You actually talked about that. Remember that when you said that joke? Can you say that joke you did uh i i don't think i can i've said it may i've said many jokes i can't repeat now okay why not he's scared well because you know that the twitter the

twitter liberal mod mob will come after me and they'll end my spotify you're scared of you're scared i'm not i'm not scared i just don't want to lose my job, and you know I'll lose my job. I don't think you will, honestly. I think you can say whatever you want. Yeah, just like I'm going to say, I love a panda. I love the YouTuber, a panda. And he's honestly my favorite member of the podcast. What was your favorite video he made uh uh

well I'm gonna have to get to you on that cause there's so many good ones there are so many great ones of his oh no I know I know believe me I just just asking you know like does any come to mind like quickly off the top

of your head yeah like a short one maybe all right it's the beginning days you know You know, like, does any come to mind, like, quickly off the top of your head? Yeah, like a short one, maybe. All right. Towards the beginning days, you know? Oh, man, I can't think of it. Maybe a meme? Maybe a meme one? Oh, you must be thinking of Machu Palu, right?

Yeah, I love that video. I remember that one. I mean, like, it was, I'm thinking more of, like, early 2018 type stuff, you know? Yeah, like, biggest video on... Like, January 7th, 2018. There was a lot going on in 2018. Yeah, no, it's crazy that, like, almost exactly three years later... A bunch of people started the capital it's fucking crazy did that happen on the same day ghosted it was almost exactly that happened on

the same day but do you think that a panda started a domino effect leading to the capital riot i mean he might have he might have i can't for certain. There could have been one guy out there that watched his Big Brother video and instantly wanted to be vicious and evil. Right. Joe, fuck you. Wow. Fuck you. Fuck you, Astrocyst.

You think I can't say your name? I'm going to say Astrocyst. Yeah, how about that? You can say it. It's free publicity. Yeah. No, fuck. Can you say my name too, actually?

All right. Jamie, cut that out. Go. Jamie, cut that out. Ghost Jamie, cut that out. I thought he died. Are you off the DMT now? Is it coming off? I'm getting off. I'm getting off the DMT.

That'd be a really funny episode. I'm just really pissed. Let me be clear. DMT. Oh, shit. Oh, wow. I didn't even invite obama yeah did you let him in a panda knows a lot of famous good people uh unlikely no he does i'm in his room right now i'm touching his shit why would you do that that's disgusting some fucking evil that's why hey schlatt i heard you

talk a lot of shit about me want to talk about that you talk a lot of shit you talk a lot of shit about me you talk a lot of shit about number 44 you got it all wrong sir i don't i don't do that anymore right why is that is it because i Norg? Are you switching up just because I'm here? No, I don't make Obama jokes anymore. Listen, Jay Schleier, I got shooters. Okay. You better watch out.

You better watch out. I get it. I won't make any more jokes. So, Obama, you won a peace prize right i don't know um yeah i did that's ironic you won a peace prize so i was thinking everybody always look i know look i've watched your podcast maybe once or twice you guys love making the middle east bombing jokes so peter's gonna cut that out okay that was an accident having that hospital you know accident

that was an accident i i i was swiping on tiktok i was swiping on tiktok on the ipad and i accidentally slipped on the nuke button things like that happened vine back then obama you're slipping up so yeah i mean i'm getting older jee jee this fucking chris i'm the president like cut me some slack um i i just figured you know since you have experience winning like a peace prize do you think i could win a peace prize with my idea where i guess it boils down to we have a plane that makes burgers on the plane and then we toss the burgers down to people down below for them to eat like what do you think about that you don't make a mika soccer stuff that's a very good idea i'm gonna send that to joe my

vice president and he will get back to you he will get back to you he's the president now you senile fuck all right see now he's the senile one okay i'm just trying to be nice then he's got like five like two months left to live you're shooting on him my friend um thanks for um you know signing off on my idea no no no problem no no problem no problem if you want instead of planes we could uh send the burgers on drones oh that that's a great idea like put little bombs in them yeah that'd be really no i see i don't really want to do that i kind of was just thinking we would feed people like food. Like to eat. Let me be clear. I have precedential AIDS. Wow.

Can we get a panda back? I miss a panda. Yeah, hold on. Give me a second. Although it is, you know, like, I think we should recognize here that we've done something pretty incredible. We've had a podcast with four of the most influential figures in history. Hey, what's up, guys? I mean, easily four of the most important people in the 21st century.

That's actually a good point. Panda, it's pretty funny. The moment you left the podcast, we had four of probably the most insane guests no i know podcast could ever want obama obama's currently touching my shit right now he's what rubbing his he's rubbing what are you talking about he's rubbing his balls over my room but i'm gonna sell all that stuff for money so i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say anything like normally i'd be mad but come on guys it's fucking obama he was in the same room as you? He's in the same room as you? Yeah.

Joe Rogan, Joe Biden, even Trump. All four of them? Yeah. They're all in the same room? Where's Trump? Put Trump back on. Hello? Hello?

What's up, motherfucker? What's up, bitch? Hey! Wait, panic. Wait, panic panic and how did you find these people how did you like get in touch i'm sorry i'm sorry you called for the don and you're trying to talk to me no i'm i apologize how did a panic get in touch with you well my son balin he loves watching his videos he loves watching the Ugandan knuckles he loves he got it this one I gotta meet the president created this

meme because it's fucking epic so I get it with God took to them and he was like he was like panda I love your videos they're epic they are awesome and then they started connecting they like being foot naked paid a lot of footnate and they play a lot of fun together melania watches over them they play fortnite they get a bunch of squad w's have you played ninja before i mean you know ninja you have ninja like the streamer ninja no the fucking samurai yes mika the ninja you kind of got you whatever man shut up go like i don't know shut up this should be mika have you been the president that's true get his ass i've actually never been the president i don't think i could ever

become exactly let the big pants talk i have big pants well i was just gonna say those big pants um i've been eyeing you down there in the backside. You got quite the dumping. Okay. Okay. That is sexual harassment. I am now going to cancel you. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm going to cancel you. That is unacceptable. Don't post about me on Truth Social, please. I won't do it. I'm going to recover. Truth Social, when Truth Social hears about this, you are going to die. That's going to get seen by tens of people.

That will be the end of you. Yeah, like 50 maybe. 50 people maybe. Yeah. You're about this. You are going to die. That's going to get seen by tens of people. That will be the end of you. 50 maybe. 50 people maybe. Yeah. Here's the thing. They're radicals. They're going to blow you up. They're going to fight you.

And they're going to cut you into millions of pieces. All right. Maybe I like that. I don't mean to be rude, but you're kind of like harshing Armello. Can we get a panda back? What if I don't want to give him it? I kind of want to steal this blue Yeti. I want to keep this blue Yeti and give it to Baron as a present.

You can't just steal people's shit, dude. I can steal his shit, and he's fine with it. No, he's not. You didn't ask him. Yes, he is. He's definitely fine with it. Where is he right now? What's he doing with it?

Look, the liberal Obama is doing so much worse than him he's rubbing his balls on over his shit i'm not doing any of that okay yeah but that doesn't mean you can steal his yeti mike that's just that's theft you see you're a liberal you are a liberal it's just a problem this country whatever man you're a loser. I rule winner. You suck. I win everything. No, you don't. Hey, I almost won, but the election, oh, you know what? The election was, don't let me get into it.

I'm going to get into it. No, it's probably better if you don't. Yeah, it probably is. It probably is better if I don't get into it. Yeah, because you're a loser i am a winner give us a panda back come on so uh you guys like my friends they're great trump's kind of an asshole yeah no he is a little yeah they're a little you know them it's cool you know yeah that is yeah that is pretty like impressive that you know like four extremely powerful people i mean there's a few more i

know but i'm sure we could save that for the patreon segment because they're in the other room right now i can bring them in and you know the patreon segment is coming up yeah that's true it is coming up we do have a patreon guys uh patreon.com sleep deprived for just five dollars a month for the low price for the embarrassing low price if you can't afford it that price will get you access to the extended episode of every single episode of the patreon true i'm drunk i'm so cheaper than a lot i'm so sorry i'm sorry guys it's okay i'm just absolutely wasted right now you want to talk about what you had to drink on the Patreon section of the podcast?

Yeah, sure. And spoiler alert, it's something crazy. Uh-oh. You don't even want to see the guests. Are you sniffing jinkum? We'll find out on the Patreon section. Bababoo. Bababoo.