Sleep Deprived Podcast - Mega Kanye - SDP #143

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

the fellas talk about airplanes for 29 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, what is up? Welcome to episode 143 of the Sleep Deprived podcast. Yo. Yo. Astrid, you want to hit us with the shout out segment? Shout out. Shout out. Who am I shouting out? Do you have any? Do we not do the little shout out thing do you have a shout out to do damn it's almost like you're auto-tuned now shut up shit
Starting point is 00:00:38 it's marshmallow marshmallow i love what you do. Thank you. The cake is a lie. You sound like Dream. You sound like Dream when he does autotune. When he sings. You are my test subjects. Welcome to Aperture Science Laboratory. I'm hearing Gladys.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Can you go like, Imagine if Dream had a low taper fade. Imagine if Dream had a low taper fade. Oh my God. Imagine if Dream had a low taper fade. Have you guys ever watched Dick Figures? Dick Figures, I love that. What is that?
Starting point is 00:01:26 I like these animated stick figures when they talk. The viewers are going to go crazy over it. But there was this one episode where Red he's one of the main characters. He's like Hey Blue, how you do? Sounds like that. Hey Blue, how you do? Hey Blue, how you do?
Starting point is 00:01:41 Hey Blue. You know what that reminds me of? It reminds me of an ASDF movie or something. You know? My anus is bleeding. So how's everyone doing today? Good. Terrible.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Bad, I mean. What's going on, Panda? You know, I've just been thinking about all the Joes in the world. Well, what kind of Joes are you thinking about? Swanson. Yeah, there's Joe Swanson, there's Joe Rogan, there's Joey Diaz, there's Joe Biden, there's
Starting point is 00:02:15 Joe Mama, there's Joe Schmo. There's so many Joes. I feel like Joe's got to be the most common name ever. Damn, yeah. Joe Blow, Joe Bloke. Joe Schmo. Joe Moe. Those guys, too.
Starting point is 00:02:31 You can't forget anybody. Joe Brony. Isn't that isn't like the Kung Fu Panda guy? I'm not familiar. I just think of Joe Brony as being a Joe who happens to be a Brony. Who's Joe Brony? Cup of Joe. There's so manyony. Who's Joe Brony? Cup of Joe. There's so many Joes.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Who is Joe Brony, Panda? You know, Jabroni. I think of that as being like J-A Brony, like Jabroni. Can I say that? Is that like an Italian thing? Yeah, I'm 30% Italian, and I'm banning you for that. Jabroni. A stupid, foolish, or contemptible person.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Loser. Jabroni. I feel like there's more Joes. Para. Joe Para. Joe Montana. Who's Joe Montana uh 49ers quarterback do you think do you think joe biden yeah can't forget joe biden do you think all the joes of the world have a secret joe covenant
Starting point is 00:03:38 like a secret like like a secret joe pact Oh, Treader Joe's? Trader Joe. Joe Budden. Joe Budden. Joe Budden. Yep. Betrayer Joe. Do you think, because so I have a friend who he got invited into a group chat by people who shared his same last name,
Starting point is 00:04:01 and it became the council of, or no, they shared the same last name and it became the council of or no they shared the same full name and it became the council of x y like his full name and i'm just wondering if like you know people in general are invited to these councils of people who have the same full names as each other and we're all just not being honest and not telling each other that we're all in these councils. Joseph Stalin. Don't forget that. Joseph Gott. Jonas Brothers. Joe
Starting point is 00:04:33 Joe from The Office Season 8. Joker. Joker. Joker. Joker. Joey with two eyes Jacking off
Starting point is 00:04:47 J-O Joe Do you guys have like a list? Did you guys get invited to the Joe council? And I wasn't invited or something Yeah our names are Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe Joe's Bizarre Adventure You sound like a Nardwar
Starting point is 00:05:03 Joe Joe G-I-Joe G-I-Joe JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. You sound like a Nardwar. JoJo! G-I-Jo! G-I-Jo! Why did you say that so fucking loud? I tell you, there's so many Joes in this world, it's not a joke. There are so many Joes, it's not even funny. Jo! The book of Jobe.
Starting point is 00:05:20 The book of... Jo! Do you think there's a Jo not yelled joe not yelled and a joe yelled and it's different so like you could you could whisper joe and it is someone else's name compared to like joe if you scream it joe joe joe walsh you made that one up no no joe dimaggio oh that one guy with like the really strong chin joe joe part of zoe z like a tiktok yeah that's not real joe pesci uh joe like a kangaroo damn did we say Joe Rogan yet?
Starting point is 00:06:09 yeah that was one of the original ones that's one of the original Joes the one of the founding Joes all Joes are descendant from Jope I didn't want to think about Jope but yeah I guess that qualifies how many Joes have been listed?
Starting point is 00:06:25 There are so many Joes. I mean, we've listed every Joe. Come on. This isn't a problem. What about Joe Creary? Joe Keery? No, you looked that one up. Did I say Cup of Joe?
Starting point is 00:06:39 Maybe. Oh, wait. What about Joe Bartolozzi? No, you're looking these up yeah no you would never know who that is that's not even a real person joe on this joe joe what about uh joe ice cream joe ice cream yeah that's not you gotta quit it with this man joe ice cream i think we should take all the funds from the patreon and commission a soft core pornography i think so and it should be of the cult classic netflix animated uh adult cartoon has been hotel. Yeah, we should commission someone
Starting point is 00:07:25 to draw us fucking has been hotel and use the Patreon funds to do it. I was thinking that too. I was kind of afraid to say it, but I'm glad you brought it up. Yeah, it's been something that's been on our minds for a while. Who's this hour?
Starting point is 00:07:43 Mika, you were the one who told us to do this in the first place. That is just completely fabricated. You were like, mm-mm-mm. I love that. Yeah, you did go mm-mm-mm like you wanted it, like you were going to eat a burger. That one pole dancer spider. Yeah, and so what we're going to do is you're going to see a lot of begging from us.
Starting point is 00:08:01 We're going to be putting out tweets, YouTube community posts begging for money because we're really down bad. Just know it's going to a good place. We're making a softcore porn. The most you're going to see is some boners. That's about it. Maybe a little beatboxing
Starting point is 00:08:20 because we've been practicing that. Maybe, yeah. Do you want to do a little bit? You have that really cool Thanos beatbox that you can do. Before you guys get into the beatbox, I would like to not be included. Holy shit, dude!
Starting point is 00:08:34 Everyone knows you don't want to make a softcore porn. Ba-boom! Sorry. He actually does. Mika messaged me right now. He said, I love the Hasbin Hotel characters. And I do too. I actually does. Mika messaged me right now. He said, I love the Hazbin Hotel characters. And I do too. I do too.
Starting point is 00:08:49 We love them. Maybe we've gone too far with these bits. Maybe we need to bring it back and appreciate the good old times. Get back to standards. What does that mean? We need to be a little more PG. Wholesome. Adult.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Let's start. Panda, how was your day? Terrible with this news. Are you talking about the softcore porn news, or? Both. Mika, how was your day? It was okay. I think I'm getting sick though fuck man i'm really sorry to hear that hey it happens you know what are you gonna do
Starting point is 00:09:34 his name is little yachty but he's not that little yeah what's up with little you think you'd want to be called big yachtyy. Yeah. Or Huge Yachty. Ginormous Yachty. I mean, think about it. Would you rather have a Tiny Yacht or a Big Yacht? Giga Yachty. Yeah. He needs to change that.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Omega Yachty. I like that. Sigma Yachty. Colossal Yachty. Dark Yachty. Evil Yachty. Different Pokemon evolutions for Lil Yachty. Yeah. Level X Yachty. Dark Yachty. Evil Yachty. Different Pokemon evolutions for Lil Yachty. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Level X Yachty. What is it called when they do their like, not Gigantamax. Mega. Mega Yachty. Mega Yachty. That's pretty good. Yachty V-Mex. Yachty V.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Shiny Yachty. Shiny Yachty. good yadi v max yadi v shiny yadi shiny yadi yeah yo i caught a shiny yadi really don't know yeah do you want to trade for your uh for your shiny kendrick no my shiny Kendrick is off-limits. But you can have my shiny Drake. I have multiple of them. It's funny you say this, Mika, because I had a baby Keem that just evolved into a Kendrick. So I'm willing to trade that. Well, you had a baby Keem? I would have put an Everstone on that, dude. That's a cool one. Yeah, but the Kendrick's sort of the meta. But it's a one percent chance
Starting point is 00:11:05 for an egg to hash into a baby keem like that's such a rare event well i'm trying to get it i'm trying to get a six god right now oh okay that makes sense you're going for the six god evolution that's really hard they're they're flying type because of the whole you have a fully evolved six god no you do not really yeah bullshit you know what i got it from a wonder trade too i i don't believe that i traded someone a macklemore and a mystery trade and i got they got fucked they got fucked they got fucked in that trade you fucking got it one day i traded my slim shady and i got back a low pump. Dude, I keep catching M&Ms. I don't want them.
Starting point is 00:11:47 I have more M&Ms. Dude, I caught a Machine Gun Kelly the other day. It was all I was seeing on the route. It was all I was seeing. I would release that into the wild. Yeah, believe me, I did. My inbox is full of Machine Gun Kellys. It's, like, really annoying.
Starting point is 00:12:03 That's a bad look. God. Yeah. You know who the worst you know who the worst one is though um like i keep getting these like tom mcdonald's near pallet town what happened to pallet town they i don't know they're just infested with tom m Tom McDonald's. And it's like I keep releasing every single one I get because I don't want them. Hey, I'll take them. What are you going to do with them?
Starting point is 00:12:32 I'm just I'm a huge fan of that one. Will you trade my Chris Brown for your Tom? No, I don't. I don't know. I would release that. I would release. I've had I've had him for so long. I need I need some trade. I would release that. To be honest. I would release that. I've had him for so long. I need some trade. I need something back.
Starting point is 00:12:50 I don't... You should release it, Panda. I don't know who is going to want to trade with you. I can give you my Kanye. Okay. Yeah, you can have that. That's great. I already have like seven Kanyes.
Starting point is 00:13:02 One of them is a shiny. But do you have Mega Kanye? I don't have Mega Kanye. one of them's a shiny but do you have mega Kanye I don't have mega Kanye I've been looking for mega Kanye do you have mega Kanye I have I have mega Kanye dude you know what was you know what though I do have
Starting point is 00:13:18 both of the legendaries right now I do have a Tupac and a Biggie Pan has been real mad at me because i've been holding on to my shiny uh jpeg mafia and uh i i refuse to trade it to panda well i'm i'm not i'm not if panda gets an mc ride i'll trade i i'm not that mad anymore because i i've actually caught a devon hendrix which evolves into a jpeg mafia so this is it's okay all right that's maybe but if you get an mc ride let me know because i will trade for mc i happen to i happened to have hatched
Starting point is 00:13:52 a shiny mc ride a shiny one yeah okay i can i'll give you my my jpeg mafia for that that that'll be perfect because i've been holding on to a danny brown and i'm just really excited to to you know have them have their passives go yeah don't they have a combined evolution they do yeah they're a tag team oh yeah yeah they're like a duo um they have a passive one is like scaring the other is the hose and uh which one is the hoe no no the hose plural danny brown has that one and then jpeg has this danny brown is the hoe no no his passive ability is the hose and then jpeg has scaring and then when you combine their passive you get scaring the hose and it gives them both uh plus 50 boost to their attack and special attack so they're really good sweepers okay i don't know
Starting point is 00:14:51 how to say this but i got a you know miles the other day what and he can clap pretty much everyone dude what yeah that's a really good one did you get that oh my god hey panda do you want my shiny calcultesta I just got it no I I think I'd get a whip and I'd start beating the shit out of that pokemon
Starting point is 00:15:19 why it's a really good one do you want my shiny cal no you know i'll give you one better i will put a cow to your cow a fully loaded caliber all right all right well hey keep it in the back of your mind because i got a couple of calico chests for you what do you think for you. What do you think of these? What do you think of these new Pokemon from this next generation? There's like an Anthony Fantano that evolves from like.
Starting point is 00:16:00 From a baby Anthony Fantano. That's not even a rapper anymore. That's not a rapper. I just don't know what I'm going to. I don't know what I'm gonna do with it if you guys could have a team of like people but like Pokemon who would you have okay okay let me think
Starting point is 00:16:15 okay real talk probably like like a Jeff Bezos you know okay so we're taking this like... What gen is that? That's the... It's the spinoff one they did.
Starting point is 00:16:32 That last gen spinoff one. The Legends Amazon. Oh. I didn't know... I didn't know they were doing that. Yeah, so I would probably take him because he just has a lot of money. Is it Legends Amazon Music?
Starting point is 00:16:49 No, just Legends Amazon. I'm really confused. It's like it's it's almost like introducing Digimon to Pokemon. I'm very confused. Yeah, they've got kind of wild with the with the designs lately. OK. Yeah, yeah. Who else are you including?
Starting point is 00:17:06 Probably Tetsuo the Iron man okay sure yep uh third pick would probably be um we'll do lamar jackson okay and then fourth pick uh jack frost fifth pick uh we'll do Mika I'll have you on there actually last two picks are just you Mika I'm just going to have two Mikas oh okay okay that makes sense Panda
Starting point is 00:17:35 geez you really put me on the spot yeah I just can it be fictional yeah hold on wait that's not fair fictional well we're including any gen okay okay then i want hoelander on my team okay yeah i want trump on my team wait no i want trump i already i already got him he's a the Mew You can have Biden, Biden's cool No, no, no
Starting point is 00:18:06 He's sleeping, he's resting He's been at the Pokemon Center for a while He's like fucking Snorlax, he just rests every fucking second Look, I'm taking fucking Baron If you're having Trump, I'm having Baron You're taking Baron? But how can that be? Doesn't Trump evolve from Baron?
Starting point is 00:18:24 I think Baron evolves from Trump Wait Yeah that beat doesn't trump evolve from baron i think baron evolved from trump wait yeah wasn't that trippy isn't it how does that work you gotta watch tetsuo the iron man yeah i have batman dude your team is like full of op ones you're using legendaries you can't wait so you want me to have an Everstone mid Pokemon on my team? No, but you should pick your favorites just based on because you like them, you know? You can't have six Arceuses.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Well, Panda strikes me as someone who would have six Arceuses. That is true. Panda seems like a very meta player. Do you know what happened one time? One time I had my DS and I got Corrupted and I lost all analysis all my legendaries dude that was so painful i used to uh i got an action replay in uh sixth grade or maybe it was fifth grade and i would sell arceuses to people down my street really yeah i made legitimate money from it like it'd be like a dollar but yeah it was a hustle
Starting point is 00:19:23 like i would just i would give them an an arcade, say give me a couple bucks. Then I would go get Taco Bell or a pack of Pokemon cards. It was great. You owned these streets. I owned those streets. I respect that hustle. Thanks. I've always been a grinder.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Panda, who else are you adding? I'm adding the Grindr app. I was thinking about the Grindr app just now. People don't believe me when I say I downloaded Grindr as an accident. I believe you downloaded it. Mika, do you genuinely think I was downloading it to get dicked down? I mean, what's wrong with getting dicked down? Getting dicked up is better.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Okay, that's true so you like being the top i like being verbal lace sorry you you like being verbal lace what is like being verbally laced oh shit maybe that's what his name means like verbal verbal lace he's lacing you with drugs verbally. Yeah. Wow. Smart name. No, but yeah, I like being chained to a bed and then my boner pops out of my pants. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:33 While I'm being sunk to and while the m'lady is undressing. M'lady? Okay, I believed you until you said m'lady. Or m'lady. You want the m'lady to like sing? The m'lady. You want the m'lady to, like, sing? The m'lady. You want your m'lady? So, like, are you, like, tipping your fedora?
Starting point is 00:20:52 No, I'm just being super classy. M'lady. I don't think that's classy. That's Reddit. Dude, if I... Every person I say m'lady to, they start flustering. They start fanning their face. I am getting a little red.
Starting point is 00:21:09 M'lady. Oh. M'lady. It has a ring to it. M'lady. I'm bringing m'lady back. I'm bringing m'lady back. Yeah, I want to bring some of these things back.
Starting point is 00:21:21 You bring m'lady back, I'm bringing XD and Derp back. Mika, what do you want to bring back well i am i have been very pro xd for a very long time to be yeah i want that to come back you know i think xp as well well let's not go that far let's ease into it no i think we could do XP. I think we could do colon 3C as well. I like that. Colon 3C? Yeah. What the fuck is that? I think we could also do greater than.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Did you say you're playing Tetris? I'm playing Tetris. I'm going to play Tetris. Do you want to play me in Tetris? We can't. I know. Bro, I know you're not talking. We can't keep doing this, guys.
Starting point is 00:22:11 If you're going to play Tetris, fine. You know what? I'm going to play Suika game. Wait, Panda, can you play me in Tetris? Do you have Tetris effect? What's that? Oh, it's Tetris on Steam. No, I don't have that.
Starting point is 00:22:22 God damn it. Goat activities right here Goat What animal would you guys be Like if I could be any animal Yeah A house cat Oh wait no Yeah no a house cat
Starting point is 00:22:38 Wait can I pick a human I guess humans are animals Trump Why do you want to be trump i think trump gets fucked does the fucking gets sucked does the sucking he walks in the room and everyone just bows down and he just he he lays burgers upon the peasants. You know, he unsheathes his massive dick and burgers fly from the sky. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:13 I think that's the single handedly the worst description of Trump I think I've ever heard in my entire life. What was wrong with that? I think it was. Well, there was nothing wrong with it. I think it was just like way too much to take in all at once like i feel like i need to take a shower you know panda do you think trump's a bottom or a top uh i have no idea power bottom he's a switch no he's not fucking moving in the bed yeah Yeah, she does all the work. Exactly. He would be sitting there like,
Starting point is 00:23:47 give me a kiss. Let's do it again. Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss. Get on top. It's time for a ride. Why does give me more?
Starting point is 00:24:11 Give me more a song? Why does that sound so familiar? Give me more. I feel like he says, here comes the pain train. She sits down. Here comes the pain train, you know? Like, she sits down and he's like, here comes the pain train! Here comes the pain train! Here comes the pain train!
Starting point is 00:24:31 I know you like the dick. I know you like the dick. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. wow
Starting point is 00:24:50 mika what you mika what you eat lasagna like just lasagna that melania trump has cooked yeah or or okay so you don't know if she cooked it or maybe she's in it Like just lasagna that Melania Trump has cooked. Yeah, or... Okay, so you don't know if she cooked it or maybe she's in it.
Starting point is 00:25:09 You don't know. I feel like I would take the risk then. If there's a risk that I'm going to be committing cannibalism, that's not a risk that I want to take, you know? But you do cannibalism for anything? Mika, seriously, if i had like a billion dollars in my hand yeah you would eat someone right for a billion dollars yeah that's that's so normal see that's the devil whispering to your ear that's
Starting point is 00:25:37 i think for a billion dollars i would have to consider like I would have to consider like, I would have to consider how much good I could do with a billion dollars. Okay. What about like a thumb? I, well, you know, I feel like cannibalism is already context dependent, you know? True. Is that true? So people eat people for free.
Starting point is 00:26:02 That's a good point. Is that weird to say that cannibalism should be context dependent like what if there's a survival situation you know where someone naturally passes away would it not be the right thing to do for the benefit of the group for them to survive to eat that i agree the alternative is they all die yeah and. And like, is it, is not the goal of, of, of our kind to, should not the goal of our kind be to maximize benefit for the most amount of people and to reduce suffering and to make the world a better place? I just want to eat people. I don't want to, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that.
Starting point is 00:26:47 You know who I would have on my Pokemon dream team? Who? Chair. Chair? Chair, yeah. You want a chair on your team? You want a chair on there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Bed. Soup. iPad. chair on your team but only you want a chair on there yeah bed uh soup ipad um name the something else on your desk crunchy roll crunchy roll and uh warm socks that's what i say warren buffett no and actually i want to swap chair for snacks so to reiterate that is bed warm soup crunchy roll snacks warm socks and blanket that's what i want on my pokemon team oh shit we're at the 30 minute mark well i just want to talk about like it's crazy how humans know how to like reproduce you ever think about like like like how do we know like what like why do people even want to reproduce okay so here's what i think right these things like both feel like really good like what if we did it like together we combined it then it would be like really really good wait wait wait but
Starting point is 00:28:05 here here's where i'm getting it though like it feels good yeah but that had to evolve that way to feel good so we would have children but why why did it evolve that way what what what's the benefit of having offspring because because like uh like beings like wanna like continue to exist like every like thing like why. I don't know. Exactly. Everything just wants to exist and spread into the next generation.
Starting point is 00:28:33 That's what I'm saying. That's got to be God. That has to be God. You think that's God? God's real. Right there. I think that's the six. What would God feel like? Laughing to the bank like, ha, ha. Yeah. Flex on swole like, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:28:55 I think it's that our energies want to continue to circulate and continue to exist. And maybe it is God, you but that energy that energy is definitely there there's an energy there damn but i don't understand that like how would our bodies know that giving energy to another being would happen if you want i think it's all subconscious moral and life philosophy follow us over to the Patreon section of the podcast where we will dive headfirst into this deep philosophical question
Starting point is 00:29:31 you also get extended episodes you get bonus shows and yeah yeah I was thinking about that too hey guys we're back oh Baba Booey
Starting point is 00:29:46 Baba Booey

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