Sleep Deprived Podcast - Mega Kanye - SDP #143
Episode Date: January 23, 2024the fellas talk about airplanes for 29 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Hey, what is up? Welcome to episode 143 of the Sleep Deprived podcast.
Yo.
Yo. Astrid, you want to hit us with the shout out segment?
Shout out.
Shout out.
Who am I shouting out?
Do you have any? Do we not do the little shout out thing do you have a shout out to do
damn it's almost like you're auto-tuned now shut up shit
it's marshmallow marshmallow i love what you do. Thank you.
The cake is a lie.
You sound like Dream.
You sound like Dream when he does autotune.
When he sings.
You are my test subjects.
Welcome to Aperture Science Laboratory.
I'm hearing Gladys.
Can you go like,
Imagine if Dream had a low taper fade.
Imagine if Dream had a low taper fade.
Oh my God.
Imagine if Dream had a low taper fade.
Have you guys ever watched Dick Figures?
Dick Figures, I love that.
What is that?
I like these animated stick figures when they talk. The viewers are going to go crazy over it. But
there was this one episode where Red
he's one of the main characters. He's like
Hey Blue, how you do?
Sounds like that.
Hey Blue, how you do?
Hey Blue,
how you do?
Hey Blue.
You know what that reminds me of?
It reminds me of an ASDF movie or something.
You know?
My anus is bleeding.
So how's everyone doing today?
Good.
Terrible.
Bad, I mean.
What's going on, Panda?
You know, I've just been thinking about all the Joes in the world.
Well, what kind of Joes are you
thinking about? Swanson.
Yeah, there's Joe Swanson,
there's Joe Rogan, there's Joey Diaz,
there's Joe Biden, there's
Joe Mama, there's Joe Schmo.
There's so many Joes.
I feel like Joe's got to be the most common name ever.
Damn, yeah.
Joe Blow, Joe Bloke.
Joe Schmo.
Joe Moe.
Those guys, too.
You can't forget anybody.
Joe Brony.
Isn't that isn't like the Kung Fu Panda guy?
I'm not familiar.
I just think of Joe Brony as being a Joe who happens to be a Brony.
Who's Joe Brony?
Cup of Joe. There's so manyony. Who's Joe Brony? Cup of Joe.
There's so many Joes.
Who is Joe Brony, Panda?
You know, Jabroni.
I think of that as being like J-A Brony, like Jabroni.
Can I say that?
Is that like an Italian thing?
Yeah, I'm 30% Italian, and I'm banning you for that.
Jabroni.
A stupid, foolish, or contemptible person.
Loser.
Jabroni.
I feel like there's more Joes.
Para.
Joe Para.
Joe Montana.
Who's Joe Montana uh 49ers quarterback do you think do you think joe
biden yeah can't forget joe biden do you think all the joes of the world have a secret joe covenant
like a secret like like a secret joe pact Oh, Treader Joe's?
Trader Joe.
Joe Budden.
Joe Budden.
Joe Budden.
Yep.
Betrayer Joe.
Do you think, because so I have a friend who he got invited into a group chat by people who shared his same last name,
and it became the council of, or no, they shared the same last name and it became the council of or no they shared the same full name and it became
the council of x y like his full name and i'm just wondering if like you know people in general are
invited to these councils of people who have the same full names as each other and we're all just
not being honest and not telling each other that we're all in these councils. Joseph Stalin.
Don't forget that.
Joseph Gott.
Jonas Brothers.
Joe
Joe from
The Office Season 8.
Joker.
Joker.
Joker.
Joker.
Joey with two eyes
Jacking off
J-O Joe
Do you guys have like a list?
Did you guys get invited to the Joe council?
And I wasn't invited or something
Yeah our names are Joe Joe
Joe Joe
Joe Joe's Bizarre Adventure
You sound like a Nardwar
Joe Joe G-I-Joe G-I-Joe JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. You sound like a Nardwar. JoJo!
G-I-Jo!
G-I-Jo!
Why did you say that so fucking loud?
I tell you, there's so many Joes in this world, it's not a joke.
There are so many Joes, it's not even funny.
Jo!
The book of Jobe.
The book of...
Jo!
Do you think there's a Jo not yelled joe not yelled and a joe yelled and it's different
so like you could you could whisper joe and it is someone else's name compared to like joe if you
scream it joe joe joe walsh you made that one up no no joe dimaggio oh that one guy with like the really strong chin joe joe
part of zoe z like a tiktok yeah that's not real joe pesci uh joe like a kangaroo
damn
did we say Joe Rogan yet?
yeah that was one of the original ones
that's one of the original Joes
the one of the founding Joes
all Joes are descendant from
Jope
I didn't want to think about Jope
but yeah I guess that qualifies
how many Joes have been listed?
There are so many Joes.
I mean, we've listed every Joe.
Come on.
This isn't a problem.
What about Joe Creary?
Joe Keery?
No, you looked that one up.
Did I say Cup of Joe?
Maybe.
Oh, wait.
What about Joe Bartolozzi?
No, you're looking these up yeah no you would never
know who that is that's not even a real person joe on this joe joe what about uh joe ice cream
joe ice cream yeah that's not you gotta quit it with this man joe ice cream i think we should
take all the funds from the patreon and commission a soft core pornography i think so and it should
be of the cult classic netflix animated uh adult cartoon has been hotel. Yeah, we should commission someone
to draw us fucking has been hotel
and use the Patreon funds to do it.
I was thinking that too.
I was kind of afraid to say it,
but I'm glad you brought it up.
Yeah, it's been something
that's been on our minds for a while.
Who's this hour?
Mika, you were the one who told us
to do this in the first place.
That is just completely fabricated.
You were like, mm-mm-mm.
I love that.
Yeah, you did go mm-mm-mm like you wanted it, like you were going to eat a burger.
That one pole dancer spider.
Yeah, and so what we're going to do is you're going to see a lot of begging from us.
We're going to be putting out tweets, YouTube community posts begging for money because we're
really down bad.
Just know it's going to a good place.
We're making a softcore porn.
The most you're
going to see is some boners.
That's about it.
Maybe a little beatboxing
because we've been practicing that.
Maybe, yeah.
Do you want to do a little bit?
You have that really cool Thanos beatbox
that you can do.
Before you guys get into the beatbox,
I would like to not be included.
Holy shit, dude!
Everyone knows you don't want to make a softcore porn.
Ba-boom!
Sorry.
He actually does.
Mika messaged me right now.
He said, I love the Hasbin Hotel characters. And I do too. I actually does. Mika messaged me right now. He said, I love the Hazbin Hotel characters.
And I do too.
I do too.
We love them.
Maybe we've gone too far with these bits.
Maybe we need to bring it back and appreciate the good old times.
Get back to standards.
What does that mean?
We need to be a little more
PG.
Wholesome. Adult.
Let's start.
Panda, how was your day?
Terrible with this news.
Are you talking about the
softcore porn news, or?
Both.
Mika, how was your day?
It was okay. I think I'm getting sick though fuck man i'm really sorry to hear that hey it happens you know what are you gonna do
his name is little yachty but he's not that little yeah what's up with little you think
you'd want to be called big yachtyy. Yeah. Or Huge Yachty.
Ginormous Yachty.
I mean, think about it.
Would you rather have a Tiny Yacht or a Big Yacht?
Giga Yachty.
Yeah.
He needs to change that.
Omega Yachty.
I like that.
Sigma Yachty.
Colossal Yachty.
Dark Yachty.
Evil Yachty.
Different Pokemon evolutions for Lil Yachty. Yeah. Level X Yachty. Dark Yachty. Evil Yachty. Different Pokemon evolutions for Lil Yachty.
Yeah.
Level X Yachty.
What is it called when they do their like, not Gigantamax.
Mega.
Mega Yachty.
Mega Yachty.
That's pretty good.
Yachty V-Mex.
Yachty V.
Shiny Yachty. Shiny Yachty. good yadi v max yadi v shiny yadi shiny yadi yeah yo i caught a shiny yadi really don't know yeah do you want to trade for your uh for your shiny kendrick no my shiny Kendrick is off-limits. But you can have my shiny Drake.
I have multiple of them.
It's funny you say this, Mika, because I had a baby Keem that just evolved into a Kendrick.
So I'm willing to trade that.
Well, you had a baby Keem? I would have put an Everstone on that, dude.
That's a cool one.
Yeah, but the Kendrick's sort of the meta.
But it's a one percent chance
for an egg to hash into a baby keem like that's such a rare event well i'm trying to get it i'm
trying to get a six god right now oh okay that makes sense you're going for the six god evolution
that's really hard they're they're flying type because of the whole you have a fully evolved
six god no you do not really yeah bullshit you know what i got it from a
wonder trade too i i don't believe that i traded someone a macklemore and a mystery trade and i
got they got fucked they got fucked they got fucked in that trade you fucking got it one day
i traded my slim shady and i got back a low pump. Dude, I keep catching M&Ms.
I don't want them.
I have more M&Ms.
Dude, I caught a Machine Gun Kelly the other day.
It was all I was seeing on the route.
It was all I was seeing.
I would release that into the wild.
Yeah, believe me, I did.
My inbox is full of Machine Gun Kellys.
It's, like, really annoying.
That's a bad look.
God. Yeah.
You know who the worst you know who the
worst one is though um like i keep getting these like tom mcdonald's near pallet town
what happened to pallet town
they i don't know they're just infested with tom m Tom McDonald's. And it's like I keep releasing every single one I get because I don't want them.
Hey, I'll take them.
What are you going to do with them?
I'm just I'm a huge fan of that one.
Will you trade my Chris Brown for your Tom?
No, I don't.
I don't know.
I would release that.
I would release.
I've had I've had him for so long. I need I need some trade. I would release that. To be honest. I would release that. I've had him for so long.
I need some trade. I need something back.
I don't...
You should release it, Panda.
I don't know who is going to want to trade with you.
I can give you my Kanye.
Okay.
Yeah, you can have that.
That's great.
I already have like seven Kanyes.
One of them is a shiny.
But do you have Mega Kanye? I don't have Mega Kanye. one of them's a shiny but do you have mega Kanye
I don't have mega Kanye
I've been looking for mega Kanye do you have mega Kanye
I have
I have mega Kanye
dude you know what was
you know what though I do have
both of the legendaries right now
I do have a Tupac
and a Biggie
Pan has been real mad at me because i've been holding on
to my shiny uh jpeg mafia and uh i i refuse to trade it to panda well i'm i'm not i'm not
if panda gets an mc ride i'll trade i i'm not that mad anymore because i i've actually caught
a devon hendrix which evolves into a jpeg mafia so this is it's okay all right that's maybe but
if you get an mc ride let me know because i will trade for mc i happen to i happened to have hatched
a shiny mc ride a shiny one yeah okay i can i'll give you my my jpeg mafia for that that that'll
be perfect because i've been holding on to a danny brown and i'm just really excited to to
you know have them have their passives go yeah don't they have a combined evolution they do yeah
they're a tag team oh yeah yeah they're like a duo um they have a passive one is like scaring
the other is the hose and uh which one is the hoe no no the hose plural danny brown
has that one and then jpeg has this danny brown is the hoe no no his passive ability is the hose
and then jpeg has scaring and then when you combine their passive you get scaring the hose
and it gives them both uh plus 50 boost to their attack and special attack so they're really good sweepers okay i don't know
how to say this but i got a you know miles the other day what and he can clap pretty much everyone
dude what yeah that's a really good one did you get that oh my god hey panda
do you want my
shiny calcultesta
I just got it
no I
I think I'd get a whip
and I'd start beating the shit out of that pokemon
why
it's a really good one
do you want my shiny cal no you know i'll give you one better
i will put a cow to your cow a fully loaded caliber
all right all right well hey keep it in the back of your mind because i got a couple of
calico chests for you what do you think for you. What do you think of these?
What do you think of these new Pokemon from this next generation?
There's like an Anthony Fantano that evolves from like.
From a baby Anthony Fantano.
That's not even a rapper anymore.
That's not a rapper.
I just don't know what I'm going to. I don't know what I'm gonna do with it
if you guys could have a team of like people
but like Pokemon who would you have
okay okay
let me think
okay real talk
probably like
like a Jeff Bezos
you know
okay so we're taking this like...
What gen is that?
That's the...
It's the spinoff one they did.
That last gen spinoff one.
The Legends Amazon.
Oh.
I didn't know...
I didn't know they were doing that.
Yeah, so I would probably take him
because he just has a lot of money.
Is it Legends Amazon Music?
No, just Legends Amazon.
I'm really confused.
It's like it's it's almost like introducing Digimon to Pokemon.
I'm very confused.
Yeah, they've got kind of wild with the with the designs lately.
OK.
Yeah, yeah.
Who else are you including?
Probably Tetsuo the Iron man okay sure yep uh third pick would probably be
um we'll do lamar jackson okay and then fourth pick uh jack frost fifth pick uh we'll do Mika
I'll have you on there
actually last two picks are just you Mika
I'm just going to have two Mikas
oh okay
okay that makes sense
Panda
geez you really put me on the spot
yeah
I just
can it be fictional
yeah hold on wait that's not fair
fictional well we're including any gen okay okay then i want hoelander on my team okay yeah i want
trump on my team wait no i want trump i already i already got him he's a the Mew You can have Biden, Biden's cool
No, no, no
He's sleeping, he's resting
He's been at the Pokemon Center for a while
He's like fucking Snorlax, he just rests every fucking second
Look, I'm taking fucking Baron
If you're having Trump, I'm having Baron
You're taking Baron?
But how can that be?
Doesn't Trump evolve from Baron?
I think Baron evolves from Trump Wait Yeah that beat doesn't trump evolve from baron i think baron evolved from trump wait yeah wasn't that
trippy isn't it how does that work you gotta watch tetsuo the iron man yeah i have batman
dude your team is like full of op ones you're using legendaries you can't wait so you want
me to have an Everstone
mid Pokemon on my team?
No, but you should pick your favorites just based on
because you like them, you know?
You can't have six Arceuses.
Well, Panda strikes me as someone who would
have six Arceuses.
That is true.
Panda seems like a very meta player.
Do you know what happened one time? One time I had my DS
and I got Corrupted and I lost all analysis all my legendaries dude that was so painful i used to uh i got an action replay
in uh sixth grade or maybe it was fifth grade and i would sell arceuses to people down my street
really yeah i made legitimate money from it like it'd be like a dollar but yeah it was a hustle
like i would just i would give them an an arcade, say give me a couple bucks.
Then I would go get Taco Bell or a pack of Pokemon cards.
It was great.
You owned these streets.
I owned those streets.
I respect that hustle.
Thanks.
I've always been a grinder.
Panda, who else are you adding?
I'm adding the Grindr app.
I was thinking about the Grindr app just now.
People don't believe me when I say I downloaded Grindr as an accident.
I believe you downloaded it.
Mika, do you genuinely think I was downloading it to get dicked down?
I mean, what's wrong with getting dicked down?
Getting dicked up is better.
Okay, that's true
so you like being the top i like being verbal lace
sorry you you like being verbal lace what is like being verbally laced oh shit maybe that's
what his name means like verbal verbal lace he's lacing you with drugs verbally. Yeah. Wow.
Smart name.
No, but yeah, I like being chained to a bed and then my boner pops out of my pants.
Really?
Yeah.
While I'm being sunk to and while the m'lady is undressing.
M'lady?
Okay, I believed you until you said m'lady.
Or m'lady.
You want the m'lady to like sing? The m'lady. You want the m'lady to, like, sing?
The m'lady.
You want your m'lady?
So, like, are you, like, tipping your fedora?
No, I'm just being super classy.
M'lady.
I don't think that's classy.
That's Reddit.
Dude, if I...
Every person I say m'lady to, they start flustering.
They start fanning their face.
I am getting a little red.
M'lady.
Oh.
M'lady.
It has a ring to it.
M'lady.
I'm bringing m'lady back.
I'm bringing m'lady back.
Yeah, I want to bring some of these things back.
You bring m'lady back, I'm bringing XD and Derp back.
Mika, what do you want to bring back well i am i have been very pro xd for a very long time to be yeah i want that to
come back you know i think xp as well well let's not go that far let's ease into it no i think we could do XP. I think we could do colon 3C as well.
I like that.
Colon 3C?
Yeah.
What the fuck is that?
I think we could also do greater than.
Did you say you're playing Tetris?
I'm playing Tetris.
I'm going to play Tetris.
Do you want to play me in Tetris?
We can't.
I know.
Bro, I know you're not talking.
We can't keep doing this, guys.
If you're going to play Tetris, fine.
You know what?
I'm going to play Suika game.
Wait, Panda, can you play me in Tetris?
Do you have Tetris effect?
What's that?
Oh, it's Tetris on Steam.
No, I don't have that.
God damn it.
Goat activities right here Goat
What animal would you guys be
Like if I could be any animal
Yeah
A house cat
Oh wait no
Yeah no a house cat
Wait can I pick a human
I guess humans are animals
Trump
Why do you want to be trump i think trump gets
fucked does the fucking gets sucked does the sucking he walks in the room and everyone just
bows down and he just he he lays burgers upon the peasants. You know, he unsheathes his massive dick and burgers fly from the sky.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I think that's the single handedly the worst description of Trump I think I've ever heard in my entire life.
What was wrong with that?
I think it was.
Well, there was nothing wrong with it.
I think it was just like way too much to take in all at once like i feel like i need to take a shower you know
panda do you think trump's a bottom or a top uh i have no idea power bottom he's a switch
no he's not fucking moving in the bed yeah Yeah, she does all the work. Exactly.
He would be sitting there like,
give me a kiss.
Let's do it again.
Give me a kiss.
Give me a kiss.
Give me a kiss.
Get on top.
It's time for a ride.
Why does give me more?
Give me more a song?
Why does that sound so familiar? Give me more.
I feel like he says,
here comes the pain train.
She sits down. Here comes the pain train, you know? Like, she sits down and he's like,
here comes the pain train!
Here comes the pain train!
Here comes the pain train!
I know you like the dick.
I know you like the dick.
Marijuana.
Marijuana.
Marijuana.
Marijuana.
Marijuana.
Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. Marijuana. wow
mika what you
mika what you eat
lasagna
like just lasagna
that melania trump has cooked
yeah or
or okay so you don't know if she cooked it or maybe she's in it Like just lasagna that Melania Trump has cooked. Yeah, or...
Okay, so you don't know if she cooked it or maybe she's in it.
You don't know.
I feel like I would take the risk then.
If there's a risk that I'm going to be committing cannibalism,
that's not a risk that I want to take, you know?
But you do cannibalism for anything?
Mika, seriously, if i had like a
billion dollars in my hand yeah you would eat someone right for a billion dollars yeah that's
that's so normal see that's the devil whispering to your ear that's
i think for a billion dollars i would have to consider like I would have to consider like,
I would have to consider how much good I could do with a billion dollars.
Okay.
What about like a thumb?
I, well, you know, I feel like cannibalism is already context dependent, you know?
True.
Is that true?
So people eat people for free.
That's a good point.
Is that weird to say that cannibalism should
be context dependent like what if there's a survival situation you know where someone naturally
passes away would it not be the right thing to do for the benefit of the group for them to survive
to eat that i agree the alternative is they all die yeah and. And like, is it, is not the goal of, of, of our kind to, should not the goal of our kind be to maximize benefit for the most amount of people and to reduce suffering and to make the world a better place?
I just want to eat people.
I don't want to, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that.
I don't want to do that.
You know who I would have on my Pokemon dream team?
Who?
Chair.
Chair?
Chair, yeah.
You want a chair on your team?
You want a chair on there?
Yeah.
Bed.
Soup. iPad. chair on your team but only you want a chair on there yeah bed uh soup ipad um name the something else on your desk crunchy roll crunchy roll and uh warm socks that's what i say warren buffett no and actually i want to swap chair for snacks so to reiterate that is
bed warm soup crunchy roll snacks warm socks and blanket that's what i want on my pokemon team
oh shit we're at the 30 minute mark well i just want to talk about like it's crazy how humans
know how to like reproduce you ever think about like like like how do we know like what like why
do people even want to reproduce okay so here's what i think right these things like both feel
like really good like what if we did it like together we combined it then it would be like
really really good wait wait wait but
here here's where i'm getting it though like it feels good yeah but that had to evolve that way
to feel good so we would have children but why why did it evolve that way what what what's the
benefit of having offspring because because like uh like beings like wanna like continue to exist
like every like thing like why. I don't know.
Exactly.
Everything just
wants to exist and spread
into the next generation.
That's what I'm saying.
That's got to be God. That has to be God.
You think that's God?
God's real. Right there. I think that's the six.
What would God feel like?
Laughing to the bank like, ha, ha.
Yeah.
Flex on swole like, ha, ha.
I think it's that our energies want to continue to circulate and continue to exist.
And maybe it is God, you but that energy that energy is definitely
there there's an energy there damn but i don't understand that like how would our bodies know
that giving energy to another being would happen if you want i think it's all subconscious moral
and life philosophy follow us over to the Patreon section
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yeah I was thinking about that too
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