Sleep Deprived Podcast - Mika Is Deathly Ill - SDP#137

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 28 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

wait no no why isn't my okay hello microphone I'm keeping my recording same hello this is making it in yeah

are you recording yet um hello okay I'm recording okay awesome hey everybody hey everybody guys i just want to apologize for being so unprofessional dude we're in the middle of the intro you can't say i'm being so professional you're being hypocritical you're still being because i feel so bad. Sudoku? Goku.

Mika, do the intro, Vegeta. Hey, everybody. Wait, I'm not Vegeta. I think you're Vegeta in my mind. You're not Vegeta. You're not Vegeta. I'm not Vegeta. You're more jacked than Vegeta. Okay, do the intro.

Please do the intro. I'm also a lot more handsome. No, I think, well, that's not. And taller. Okay. Mika, why are you sick because hey everybody welcome back to the sleep deprived podcast episode what episode 100 37 137 that's the episode and we want to give a quick little blurb to everyone we have merch out go check out our merch sleepdepart.co

buy it it's really cool and I've seen some people that are complaining like oh it's too boring it's fucking awesome you're boring and also we're gonna do limited drops in the future okay we're working on that no promises but we're working on it there's gonna be wackier shit okay so fucking get your wallets ready that's not a promise but we're working on it. There's going to be wackier shit, okay? So fucking get your wallets ready. That's not a promise, but we're going to sell drugs.

No, we're not. Secondly, I do have a live show, Lilac Boy, January 6th, Rochester, New York, at the Flying Squirrel. You can see my Twitter for more information about it. That's all we got. Let's do the episode. Where were you January 6th? I need to do a quick plug for Peace and Love. I brought bombs

I want to give a quick shout out to Peace and Love what is that? Peace and Love just Peace and Love Peace be upon you Mika that's some that's some wholesome shit I'd like to give a shout out to War and Destruction

yep there's a lot of that going on so current events I'd like to give a shout out to War and Destruction. Yep. There's a lot of that going on, so... Current events! Speaking of War and Destruction, I've been playing a lot of Zero Build Fortnite lately. What? Zero Build Fortnite?

What does that mean? There was an Invincible skin in the shop. I haven't seen Season 2 yet. Oh, fuck that skin. I got marred from Invinciblein is that the guy with the big cake oh no you're thinking of omni-man and they nerfed his cake they nerfed omni-man's cake yeah wait who's what'd you say invincible man is that the one uh voiced by steven no that's mark that's mark his superhero name is just mark no it's invincible here's superman invincible and mark

you're talking about those tryhards they get like the superman or the skin the superhero skin and just make their character all one color so they can blend into shadows and shit oh that's boring yeah i do i heard about this guy whose whole strategy he wears a green alien skin with a green backpack and oh that sucks and then he drops into a tree and camps the tree the entire game oh my god and he's like the highest rank you can be in the game. That's so fucked up. Yeah, but I think it's kind of cool that this game allows for so many different play styles. Yeah, this game's gonna be a fucking... It already is a mess, but I feel like

every decade that goes by, it's just gonna be more and more of a mess. You're gonna log in and it's just sensory overload, you know? I feel like you're gonna be able to play games within the game at some point. They nerfed the asses, though. Yeah, what the hell's up with that? I used to love looking at the asses on the screen.

They added a Chumlee skin? They fucked everything up. Wait, is there actually a Chumlee skin? Yes. There's also a... Are you fucking kidding me? No, there's also Blanka. Booty-licious.

There's Blanka and Sakura's there. Ch Lee from from Pawn Stars is in fortnight and he has a booty licious ass From Pawn Stars Look up some Lee's Rock Lee's brother Broccoli you mean Naruto? Broccoli the food I eat. Oh, this guy. This is the son, right? You mean Chun-Li? Yeah.

Oh, dude, I thought you were talking about Chumlee, man. I thought you were thirsting for Chumlee's ass. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. He talks about Pokemon and Educator's stupid father about not knowing about the rare Charizard. Yeah, he's always the base one that goes over. He's like, no, this is actually a cool cool meme you wouldn't understand it's on the internet worth millions of dollars you dumbass well if you want a memer if you want to be technical about it

chumlee is not related to them he's just the friend of the sun no chumlee is is the heart of the show yeah if there was no chumlee, there would be no... He saved the family, Mika. He saved the Pawn family. He is the Pawn star. He's the star. Have you guys ever heard the expression the water of the covenant

or no, the blood of the the water of the covenant is thicker than the blood of the womb or the blood of the womb is thicker than the water of the womb or the blood of the womb is thicker than the water of the cup what the hell are you no that's this is what side are you what side are you on in that the blood the bloods the blood of the womb is thicker than the water of the covenant yeah sure okay harry potter yeah that's like that actually sounds like a harry potter book harry potter and the blood of the Covenant. No, it's like, so some people, I can't remember the original quote, but some people are like,

oh yeah, family over everything else because blood is thicker than water. But some people counter by saying, no, the water of the covenant because you were choosing to make a a pledge i think it's how you live you know just different people have different lives you know yeah sometimes the family is very important sometimes you don't have a good family you know and so you rely on chum lee i mean if i had a chum lee i would let him in my i would he'd be my son or my dad or whatever he wants to be i would let chum lee walk all over me so you're a blood of the womb person i'm a blood of the chum okay panda are you a blood of the womb or a water of the

covenant person i think i'm eating the chum bucket yeah chum bucket nice i think patrick eats at the chum bucket i've really been thinking about that yeah yeah i think he does m Mika, we gotta address the teeth-thick elephant in the room. Chumlee's ass. Yeah, I contracted uh... No, just whatever Panda had. I remember he bowled up. Oh my god.

Dude, I think kids would enlist if Skibbity Toilet was on the menu. I'm trying not to give too many good ideas to the US military, but if you start list if skibbity toilet was on the menu i'm just i'm not i'm trying not to give too much uh too many good ideas to the u.s military but if you start putting if you make a skibbity toilet ad you'd probably get like a hundred thousand kids like enlisting in the u.s army is skibbity toilet the evil one yeah well yeah you'd be want to be cameraman okay or whatever okay so what the u.s military should do is they should go by osama bin lad is so his head comes out of the toilet

can you imagine Joe Biden goes to the podium like we killed skibbity toilet and everyone cheers we skibbityed his toilet oh my god it'd be like when Obama asked that he got Osama but it's skibbity toilet instead

we got him SEAL team camera they took out sk skivity toilet instead we got him seal team seal team camera they took out skivity toilet and all their men dude imagine uh joe biden is like oh we're gonna assemble the finest seal team to ever exist to take out skivity toilet and then he just drives down to best buy and buys a bunch of son Sony cameras and unboxes them and then puts them in a helicopter and like drops them over like their target I think that you know how like

people are always like oh they're making well this is only you know by terminally online people but they're like oh they're gonna make cat girls a reality like they're gonna make them in a lab like scratch that like put that in the trash let's make fucking skivity toilets we could make those. Seriously.

All of humanity stopped right now. Put down all of their greed. All differences aside. Put all of our efforts towards combining man and toilet. We could figure it out. That's all I'm saying. Can I be honest with you? Can I just be up front with you?

Yeah, be up front with me. If it's a choice between Catgirls and Skibbity Toilet, I'm choosing the Catgirls. You're a fucking traitor. Wait, wait, wait. So are the Catgirls real? Yeah. Like, can I do whatever with them?

You can do whatever you want with the toilet, too. Yeah, but this is like a... Can we normalize saying nya? What the fuck is wrong with you? Can we normalize wearing... I'm going to turn you into a toilet. I'm going to chop off your head and connect your fucking nerves to a toilet.

Are we not far enough? When you open your mouth, all you will hear is flush sounds. You will hear flushing sounds have we not had enough movements to get to the point i'm turning you into a toilet where we can wear cat ears in public what is wrong with you sometimes because this is why your mika stocks are going down you keep saying shit like this yeah the stocks are fucking plummeting mika i have half my state invested in your brand so you can can't be doing this. We never talked about how your brand is just completely controlled by your investors. I just say what people are too afraid to say.

Everyone is thinking about it. You say what your investors want you to do. It's down 5%, bro. Normalize Nya. Your investors told you that. Normalize Glomping. Why don't you say something from the heart instead of fucking stockholders, huh?

It is down 10%. The stock is falling, Mika. I own 24% of your fucking shares. I own fucking 50. Normalize RAR means I love you and dinosaur. Mika, seriously, can we take a second?

Seriously, you gotta stop. The shares are can we take a second? Just seriously, you got to stop. Like the shares are actually like, it's, it's plummeting. Like it's really bad. Like Alex, I know it's like, it's like we need, yeah.

Like we need to fund this. Like I, I'm owning like 30 rental properties in my area. And, um, like I just, I need to get to 40. Okay.

So I'm staging a coop right now. And, uh, I'm staging a chicken coop i'm paying some politicians to see what i only want what do you call what do you call a pigeon uh insurrection a coop a coo a cuckoo So guys, we just had Thanksgiving. Did you guys do anything cool? I f***ed the turkey.

I f***ed the turkey too. Yeah, we both f***ed the turkey, Mika. You know how chickens have that opening in the back? Oh yeah. That's why they want it. They want it. I know what they're doing. I got a silver platter for the taking.

So we're like well past. I got legs to hold on to. Oh yeah, you can hold on to the legs. We're well past a minute here, but I'm still going to censor everything you just said. No, dude, you cannot censor that. You can actually not censor that. It is. I can and watch me.

It is just completely. I'm going to put the stuffing inside and. Oh my God, I'm going to stuff it. We're going to stuff it. We're going to fuck. I'm going to stuff that turkey. is just completely vile. I'm going to put the stuffing inside and Oh my god, I'm going to stuff it. We're going to stuff it. I'm going to stuff that turkey. That is absolutely vile, a panda. Mika, Mika, gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble, Mika.

Yeah, Mika, okay, imagine you have one hand on the turkey leg. One hand on your d***. One hand on the gobbler thing. Oh my god, the gobbler! You're riding it while you're holding the gobbler thing. Oh, I got the gobbler! You're riding it while you're holding the gobbler? I just want to share one tender moment with my...

Hold on, one more thing. While you're f***ing turkey, you're looking in the mirror like Patrick Bateman and you're pointing at the green beans. You're pointing at the casserole and you're f***ing that turkey. You're riding it late at night. You're recording the whole thing. You're pointing at the mash like i'm doing this for you okay what were you gonna say i just wanted to to genuinely know what you guys did on your holiday because i care about you i f**k the turkey it's my love life dude if you care about me support my love okay i i support you yeah what did you do

i just did like a stream where i gave away some games and then um i played this cool game called lottle nuts it's so good is that a thanksgiving game it's a game about the ocean where you just fuck did you not fucking celebrate thanksgiving like a hard-earned american well you see that's the thing astro in canada don't refer to me by my full name okay mika sakas ast, we celebrate Thanksgiving in October. What? Yeah. That's when Halloween is.

Yeah, it's before Halloween. You do shit backwards. You're putting the milk in the bags and then the orange juice in the cartons. I can't make heads or tails of this. Thanksgiving, when's Halloween? Why is milk in bags? Why is the milk in the bag? So this is like a common why is the milk in the bag George?

it could be in the carton we have it in the carton if we have it in the carton it should be in the carton it should be in the carton I don't know I'm just not really a milk guy some people just you know they choose to

have the bagged milk. It doesn't make sense, though, because if you try stacking things on top of the bagged milk... Yeah, but it's just a fucking pile of milk! So, okay, pretty much the bagged milk, the reason for that is, like, it's a matter of economy and it's a matter of freshness. Oh, come on! it can't be that much it's probably fucking more expensive with the plastic the cartons are cheaper it's just shitty fucking

it's recycled shit now there's microplastics well yeah I don't like microplastics yeah that's right I don't drink bagged milk we caught you we caught you you're a fake Canadian I don't drink bagged milk but I don't drink bagged milk. We caught you. We caught you. You're a fake Canadian.

I don't drink bagged milk, but... I don't drink bagged milk. Look at this fucking fraud. This is crazy. I can't believe this. It's weird. I don't know why Canada... Bagged milk. That's disgusting.

Bagged milk. Disgusting. I'd rather have it in a box. I'd rather have it in a box. I'd eat it anyway. I'd drink it anyway. I'd eat it in a can. In a spin can. Just why in a box I'd eat it anyway I'd drink it I'd eat it In a carton In a spin carton

Just why in a bag? Melania I tried some bagged milk Melania Get the defibrillator Melania Melania You got the dub you get

Melania Melania Get the bag Oh yeah Dump it in my mouth Melania Melania Get that defibrillator

Melania Melania Flip me over Flip me over Melania Melania I bagged you Now Iator, Melania. Melania, flip me over. Flip me over, Melania. Melania, I begged you to get your milk. Can we go roll down the hill together? That's the worst thing I've ever heard of him. What did you say?

That's the worst thing I've ever heard. That was fire. Yeah, that was fire. I agree. If I was Melania, I'd be like, phew. Do you think melania enjoys sex with trump no what probably not i have a feeling there's like it could be hear me out it could be really hot to fuck trump oh explain explain you need to explain this because he

he is not a lover trump has like disdain taste for human touch. I don't know if you've ever seen him, like, interact with other human beings. He, like, hates touching people. He eats, like, the same food every day. I feel like to fuck him would be an honor. It'd be like, oh, like, he actually is attracted to me. You know? You're kind of right.

You're saying that because... So you're saying that it's, like so you're saying that it's like a scarcity principle thing yeah like i feel like honestly melania and trump probably never have sex it's just like a status thing right so you're saying that it's like um you're saying like the harder to get you are the more valuable it is not the more valuable but in a way for cred yes I could go around saying like yeah Trump loves me I mean not many people can say that yeah he fucking hates everybody he's a hard tough guy

like if he likes you then you gotta feel a little special you know what that sounds to me like that sounds like a forced scarcity capitalist mindset because you're a liberal. You are a fucking liberal. I'm going to, you know what?

I'm going to fucking tie you up to a tree. What? Yeah, the giving tree. Dude, do you think you ever fucked the giving tree? Oh my God. What is that? It's a giving tree. Well, because you know that tree literally does everything for the man.

Like literally the whole life he's there, right? I bet Shel Silverstein had a fucking B-side panel that he didn't leave in, where he's like, you know, he's like... I'd fuck the giving tree. I would too. Yeah, it could give mad head. I think it has a fucking... I think it has a mouth.

It does not have a mouth. It has a mouth. Shel Silver mouth shell silverstein was shell service he was fucked in the head sorry do more panda like we could do more like you know that one colorful fish with the colorful scales dude stop oh dude that thing is and it's colorful so it looks cool just uh so look okay shell silverstein would definitely appreciate the commentary that we're having on the giving tree if you've never heard shell silverstein's solo music it's fucking deranged she's like talking about like fucking and sucking like yeah well we've we've talked about this on the podcast yeah okay sorry i mentioned something we've already talked about you know what mika

i'm gonna fucking burn you alive how about that uh you know what i've i'm i'm at peace with it all right i'm just kidding i'm not I'm not going to burn you alive. Just do it. If we were to burn you alive, where would you want us to put your ashes? Under the giving tree? I think somewhere special to me.

Okay, like your ass? No. I'd be burned. We could leave the ass behind and then we could put your ashes in the ass. How about this? We get your ashes in a little plastic bag and we spread it out at Disneyland.

And then we snort it like Coke. No, I would want to be somewhere special. I'm not going to lie. I would do Coke. Would you guys smoke someone's ashes? Yeah. That's a pretty big honor. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, honestly lie, I would do coke. Would you guys smoke someone's ashes? Yeah. And that's a pretty big honor. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, honestly, if I die around you guys, this is the only qualification. If I die around you, or just out somewhere, you have to cremate me, and then combine me with cocaine, and snort me. Is that fair? I feel like, uh,

genuinely, give it 300 years i think people will be bored enough to do that you're probably right like i just find you would snort smarties and like every time you just go out i'm like why the fuck are you doing that like that hurts what what's the purpose he's just like don't know. I think it looks cool. Yeah. I feel like the post-nasal drip on that has got to be gnarly. Post-nasal drip? Yeah. I was going to say something. I'm sorry.

Say it. I don't remember. Okay, now you have to say something else. The first word that comes to your head. Mika, first word that comes to your head mika first word that comes to your head i'm too sick for this panda first word that comes to your head porn too it's still porn oh porn too okay that's different no that's different astro first word that comes to your head dicks toy story oh Story? Oh my god. A Toy Story movie? Wait, I have one idea. Can I say mine?

Okay, you say yours and then I say mine. Okay, Toy Story, but there's adult toys like a... I was gonna say that! God damn it! Guys, this is an idea. Somebody should animate this. Yeah, dude, imagine it's like a talking flashlight. I mean, Woody could go in and out.

Woody is... He is called fucking Woody. It's perfect. Why could I see this being something greenlit by Seth Rogen's? Yeah, well, it's because you know why? It's based off a fucking sausage party, Panda's favorite movie. I love sausage parties. I think sausage party changed your entire life, dude. You need to put respect on sausage party name.

Once you see the comment with the comment, it's going to start talking. Dude, changed your entire life, dude. You need to put respect on Sausage Party name. Once you see the condom with the cum in it, it's going to start talking. Dude, it's not good, man. Have you watched it? Have you actually watched it? No, I haven't. Does he do the laugh? I don't think so.

Oh. Yeah, but yeah, there's a cum on the road, and then a condom on the road, and it's like teeth is cum. So when it starts talking, it's really fucking awesome. Imagine the main character. So when it starts talking, imagine like, imagine the main character of like the fleshlight toy story is like, I'm done with these toys.

He comes one last time and like Lucy, the fleshlight and then throws her in, in the trash. And the whole movie is about them going through the system with comments. Why doesn't Andy want me anymore? Well, you're... He's fucked you a hundred times. You're just

worn out, Lucy. That'd be kind of a cool story. You're too loose. Yeah, like a flashlight. It learns about acceptance and stuff. True love doesn't come from Andy's acceptance. It comes from

within. I actually think that's pretty sweet. Actually, yeah. Let's do this. Let's make this movie. And then Buzz comes out of nowhere. It's like, yeah, your insides are filled with cum. But instead of Buzz, it should be like a different character, like a vibrator or something.

Like Buzz the vibrator! Because it buzzes oh my god this is genius yeah yeah the only the only love we can depend on is the love we give ourselves guys buzz the vibrator and what are you fucking kidding that's perfect uh-oh what happened to craig what it just, left and joined. Eh, it's fine. Okay, cool. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut.

I was just, I didn't mean to cut off the bit. Isn't that perfect, though? It is. I mean, what about the dog slinky? Dog slinky? Is its name slinky? Yeah, it is. Beads, anal beads, then.

Yep, like a slinky anal bead thing. I was thinking cuffs. Okay. That's good too. That's actually really good too. What are other things? The pig. The pig can be the butt plug.

What a dirty fucking pig. Oh, they probably talked to him like that too. Dirty fucking pig. Dirty fucking pig. Woody's like, you dirty fucking pig. Yeah, there's a scene where Lucy the Fleshlight has sex with the fucking pig and Woody's watching.

He's crying. Worst thing I've ever heard in my life. What about Bogey? We are truly reaching limits of violence. Dude even i'm pretty sure we've come up with five legendary bits this episode i'm pretty sure we're like on our god shit right now never ever i never thought this was humanly possible we have achieved like a new level i'm sure you can imagine this okay toy story 7 it opens up like this. It shows Andy's

older now, and he drops a glass, or a jar, a mason jar, right in front of the camera. And then Woody A little blood drips down! No, no, no. Woody starts talking to Bo Peep, like, blah, blah, blah. And then Andy's like, I need you, and he grabs

Bo Peep, and then he grabs Bo Peep, and he puts it in the jar. Buzz comes out of nowhere, and Andy and Buzz are like, we need to save And he grabs Bo Peep. And then he grabs her. Buzz comes out of nowhere. And Andy and Buzz are like, we need to save Bo Peep. And she's banging on the glass. And then Andy just grabs Buzz and he's like. He's like. Infinity. And beyond.

Infinity and beyond. And he. Fucking drowning. Yeah. And then Mr. Potato Head's like, I don't know, he says something funny. Yeah, he has the quip at the end, you know? He's like, that's gotta hurt. Just something like that.

And then his wife comes out of nowhere and takes his mouth and is like, stop talking. And he's like, some of my friends are coming over today. And then he's like stop talking and he's like my friends are coming over today and he does a goon session so where i'm struggling to connect the dots if this is a story about self-love and self-acceptance like wouldn't it defeat the purpose for, like, the toys to have to be rescued? Well, no, because at the end, Woody realizes that he enjoyed the whole process. And he willingly gives himself an act of self-love to the main character, Andy, at the end. And says, you know what, Andy? And he gets back in the jar.

Can you be practicing? Like, I don't know the answer to this. I just want to pose this from like a philosophical point of view. Well, in this world, Bo Peep takes set, like Bo Peep will fuck Woody and Woody will fuck Andy and then Woody will fuck himself. So it's self-love and it's love, you know, combined. Everyone gets to fuck.

It's like just a big orgy. It's a big point of origin. are you saying a big or it is a big are you saying that loving someone else is an act of self-love are you saying that loving someone else is an act of self-love no i'm saying uh they're going to receive love you know like they're going to love fucking and they're going to love being fucked i suppose like if you really break it down if you really think about it. Yeah. And in order to be in a place where you can receive love from someone, you must first make peace with yourself and love yourself. That's why there's a scene where Woody masturbates.

Because otherwise you don't realize that you are worthy of the love you are being given. And you can only realize you are worthy of the love you are being given and you can only realize you are worthy of love once you have reached a state of acceptance for who you are as a person you know what mika i actually i really like what you're putting down and i want you to guest direct the scene where woody jerks himself off because i think that your philosophy here is going to really shine through in that scene when he's masturbating. Wow. Reach for the stars. If you like what you're hearing. Reach for the sky.

Reach for the dick. Join us on the Patreon section of the podcast. Reach for the tissue. For $5 a month, you get extended episodes, bonus shows. How would Sally the vibrator talk? Hey guys, I'm Sally. Hey guys. Discord server.

Minecraft server. I'm sorry. He's fucking his ass with me again. Baba Booey. Maybe I should quit. Like Sally stutters a lot. Like hey. Yeah.

Baba Booey. Baba Booey.