Sleep Deprived Podcast - MIKA RUINS THE PODCAST - Sleep Deprived Podcast #58

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

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everybody welcome back to the slate the prime podcast episode 58 yeah i would clap but i'm playing sonic mania and i'm chasing after a master emerald i'm sorry i started while panda was in the bathroom and we were waiting to record i'm sorry you're playing a game while we're recording the podcast yeah it's not used why this reminds me of elvenry second time this is the second time wait i mean do you not take it do you not take this seriously no no i take this very seriously we're like a no no no no no no no no no it's just panda was in the bathroom i'm sorry i need to focus i'm trying i'm at mock three okay i'm chasing i would have been in the bathroom for like three minutes okay but panda panda i'm gonna need you i really did not know you would be back so soon okay i'm sorry how long do you think

it's gonna go pee yeah i mean it's really like a quick thing and the fact that you booted up your game and even now when we started the podcast you're still playing it okay you know what i'll pause i'll pause how about that would that make everyone happy well it would make me even happier if you shut down the fucking game because we're recording your job now. Okay, but... You're at work. Mika, what would the patrons think? What, you get the game

and you get paid game? Wow. Guys, I'm really sorry. I've clearly let this go to my head a lot. You stepped over the line, bro. Your head's all big now. And I hate that about you. And I hate that about you.

Like a real emote. Listen, if you want to discipline me, I will accept any punishment. You could paddle me. Okay, now it's getting a little bit... You could make me eat slop. I ran out of time. I lost the match.

You're still playing! Dude, you said you buzzed! I'm done. It's gone. We're done. It's over. I put it away. I put it away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What character did you pick? I picked Knuckles. This fucker is still fucking playing

the game as he says. He's shutting it down. He's shutting it down. You are such a fucking hypocrite. I'm sorry a such a fucking hypocrite I'm sorry, okay Listen oh my god, that's a $15 offering. That's three times value Are you playing clash Royale? Oh my god, that's a six times value 199 I love when Shlap plays games the right clus. Three chess keys and 30,000 coins. You know, Asher,

we're the only people that take this actually seriously in a dignified, sophisticated manner. I think we should have been playing games earlier. I don't know why

somebody didn't think of this. We should always play games on the podcast. Okay, for real, Schlepp, I think people want you to talk about... Frick, I lost my bubble shield. You suck.

You actually suck. You're legitimately playing a game. I cannot believe that. We're done. The level of entitlement. Listen, we were recording Gmod earlier. I was Knuckles. I guess I just method acted too hard.

I never left the character, okay? Mika's been spiritually addicted to Sonic the Hedgehog recently. Like off the podcast, he'll DM me at like 3 in the morning. And it'll just be like a Sonic AMV he found from like 2006 YouTube. He just can't stop. No, I didn't. You mind explaining that? I didn't find the Sonic AMV from 2006.

He's been making them. I made them, yeah. I made one. Oh yeah, I saw that. Fuck. You saw it and you didn't like it, Panda? Bro, you like none of my tweets. Do not go there.

This is a drama filled episode. Maybe if one of our one of our fucking members wasn't playing a game during the podcast openly admitting to it saying it stop and then god this is falling apart listen i'm sorry i it's not it's not gonna happen again that's just a lie i know when you're lying i know when you're lying how do you when you're lying. How do you know, man? Because you're still fucking playing it.

I'm not. Literally right now, I'm not. Yeah, that's really... How can I... Alright, listen. I owe you an apology. I'm sorry. How can I make this up to you? I'm gonna paddle you. Take your clothes off.

Alright. You did ask for it. Okay, I'll get the slop. A panda prepared the slop. Disable your bubble shield. What is slop? The bubble shield has been disabled. It's time to insert our slops inside. Slop probably has like

microplastic. Like, have you seen what they feed pigs? Like, it's just like it's food that has the plastic on it and the pigs eat it. What? There's microplastics in like everything. No, yeah, there's microplastics in us. There's probably like a pound of plastic in us right now. What are microplastics?

There's just like little tiny little pieces of plastic and food who cares yeah i care man i mean it's a big deal pretty bad it's plastic it's pretty terrible around plastic why do you care if you ingest a little bit well like yeah and you know how like baby boomers got poisoned with lead and that's why they're like that? That's why they're like that. That's why they're like that. So, yeah, I mean like... Well, I'm poisoned with microplastics and all I got was based.

Maybe I need some more. Maybe I want to be like a turtle. I want to have one of those like six-pack plastic rings around my neck that slowly chokes me. You think turtles would have evolved by now to grow past that shit? That's what I'm saying. Eventually, deer are going to evolve to move away from

cars. You are talking about a prehistoric beast that has only encountered this problem in the past 50 years. No, bro, no, bro. Evolution. It's been around for billions 50 years. No, bro, no, bro. Evolution. It's been around for billions of years. No, no, no. Evolution. It's speeding up.

Evolution can be really fast when it wants to. It's speeding up, man. How could it be fast when it wants to? Deer are going to start developing like armor. They're going to have like knight's armor around them to protect them from getting hit. I know they kept breeding, like they had wild foxes and they kept getting the nicest ones

and breeding them over generations to the point where they were like dogs and they stopped smelling like foxes and they were really nice and submissive and shit. Okay, well that's different because we were like forest breeding. But they were evolving. But foxes did not evolve from I mean dogs did not evolve from foxes.

That's what I'm saying. I'm saying these people, these sciences made them develop mannerisms like a dog. Which wouldn't have happened in nature. Okay, that's sick. I actually would love a fox pet. That would be so cool. Apparently they don't stink either. I guess normally they smell. What does the fox say, Mika?

I just got whiplash. You didn't. Sent back to 2013. Hey, wake up. Wake up. Gangnam Style's on. Dude, I fucking loved Gangnam Style. When Gangnam Style first came out, I loved that shit

so much. It was so good. It was amazing. It wasn't even size best song though oh you know that song snoop dogg i think it's like daddy hangover no hangover was with snoop dogg no there's another one that's like i got it from my daddy daddy's the best one daddy's that one's so good doesn't he have like uh points to his music or something like he's making a point i have no idea about gangnam style yeah like political message yeah because i'm pretty sure the whole thing was that like gangnam is a part of korea that it's like very wealthy people will like walk around there or something and they're

kind of like detached from reality because they're so rich and stuff oh damn my favorite song by him is dear american you ever heard that one oh yeah that's a good one that's a good one it goes kill those yankees kill them all slowly and painfully kill their daughters mothers daughters in law and fathers that's how it goes this is a a bit? No, it's actually a bit. This is bringing up the logs, man. This is like the Xbox 360 voice chat logs. Or exposed. No, but that fucker got up on stage

and sang that shit. That was funny. Yeah. Who did? Who are we talking about? Psy, dude. Psy's bass. Before Gangnam Style, Psy had a couple of interesting songs about Americans. Yeah. Yeah. Anti-Iraq War.

He got it from his daddy. Oh, wait. Daddy? From my daddy. Did you guys see that thing of George Bush talking about the war in Ukraine? Yeah. And then he... Yeah, he was like... Yeah, I did! He slipped up. Yeah. This shit's crazy. see that thing of george bush talking about the war in ukraine and then he yeah yeah i did he

slipped up this is crazy the worst part is you just hear like 100 jeff bezos laughs in the background it's like everyone laughs it's so terrible like imagine being like so like detached from reality that you like laugh over an invasion that killed like hundreds of thousands of civilians have you seen his paintings it's so funny i have george george bush yeah yeah like you know george bush will go on ellen and they you know they shake hands and they have a good time and then he shows her his paintings that he's been working on and they're fucking terrible let me pull up the Putin painting. Oh, my. It looks like he's having a stroke, man. And they just give him a pass, you know, because he's like, it's cool now.

He can paint. Go ahead. Dude, this is actually kind of hilarious. Wait, why did he paint Putin? Why did he do that? Because he loves him, man. I mean, let's be real. From leader to artist is much better than from artist to leader

true we know how that went last time yeah is it bad that i actually kind of like this painting yes yeah i kind of feel it like it's disturbing and, like, funny in a weird way. I just like it. I don't know what to say. I know. I would have liked it if it wasn't him that made it. How about this? Yeah, he painted that.

It's Putin wrestling a bear. Dude, I cannot lie. Why is he painting Putin? I don't know. He's obsessed. That painting's kind of hard. Can we agree on that? That's kind of hard.

That's kind of hard. I like the bear a lot. Yeah, dude. should commission george bush to paint their album cover he's on fiverr action bronson album cover dude what if he actually is on fiverr just like undercover he doesn't reveal his name what if someone has actually commissioned george bush without knowing it he just has like a DeviantArt profile. XX underscore Georgie. He just makes Sonic OCs. Have you done that thing where you type in your name and then put in Sonic character?

It works. It works all the time. Oh hey, I got one. Do you guys want to see it? Yeah. Okay. Moist, feel free to put this on screen. For our audio listeners, I want you to imagine Shadow the Hedgehog, but a woman with cat ears

and also emo sideswept bangs. She probably smells good. She probably smells good. She probably stinks good. Dude, can you not? Can you not say that? Are you not thinking it? No. Look fat.

Look fat. You know that one robot? I think it's in Sonic Adventure. It's like a red robot. Uh, yeah? I think it's in Sonic Adventure. It's like a red robot. Uh, yeah? I stand that character. Dr. Eggman? Oh, not Dr. Eggman.

Um. Okay. I see. okay i see miki you took this conversation to a place i didn't want it to go and now i i'm not going to be the one who pulls it out of this you didn't hold oh i mean you started off the podcast talking about Sonic did you really think we wanted to talk about this again you were playing the game it's kind of a soft subject man so

even you were the one who brought up like the your name Sonic thing and then you posted the photo of you and yeah and like the AMVs and the discord and like the hentai last week that you sent me your name Sonic thing and then you posted the photo of you. Yeah, and the AMVs and the Discord and the hentai last week that you sent me. What? That did not happen.

I just think it's too far, man. He sent me that too, Astro. He didn't send me that. Come on, bro. He sent that to my dad. I'll forward it to you, Penta. There you go. Do you see it? It's disgusting.

Oh, I see it. Yeah. I could look at it all day, but I don't want to. Yeah, I mean, I don't like it or anything. I just have it on my desktop wallpaper, but it's just, you know. It's like an anime. It's like a wallpaper engine thing. It's like a...

Yeah. And it switches out. Yeah, it's random. Yeah. I don't... There's too many photos in the folder like i can't even i don't even know but like it cycles through yeah so like i only jacked off to it once but it was like by accident because my window closed i was like no it was like a really hot

woman right before right and that's why it was really not a dick it's not my fault that you know it switched right to the Sonic hentai. Yeah. And I mean, I had to finish there. Yeah, I had to finish. I was at the point of no return after looking at the woman on the wallpaper. And it felt so good, so I did it another time. But that was just happenstance.

I just got unlucky twice. Listen, near-death experiences, huh? Who's had them? I almost got hit by a truck. Oh. Yeah, I was running, like sprinting full speed. Okay, why were you doing that? Were you late for something?

No, my friend and I were just running around the neighborhood. And I just was an idiot. I was young and I ran into the street. And my friend called my name like right before. And I turned. And literally I just felt like the truck just brushed past me. And when I turned around, I was like an inch away from this truck. What? Dude. Yeah.

That's pretty metal, man. That's like actually pretty traumatic. He saved my life, maybe. I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't have died, but it was probably going like 30 miles per hour. That would have killed you. Yeah, that probably would have killed you. Yeah. Big truck. That would have worked.

How tall were you? That would have got the job done. Maybe I should've kept running. No, I'm glad you didn't. I'm glad you're here. Dude, you're like Crossy Road. You know the game Crossy Road? Yeah. Well, think about it.

I mean, like, if one of us died, we'd split the money in three ways. So, like, our path would go up. It's like that scene from The Joker. Or, I'm sorry, The Dark Knight. With starring The Joker, where they all are doing the heist, and then they all kill each other one by one.

Because The Joker told them to, and then the prize money gets higher. But they all think, oh, yeah, you're just going to kill him, but you get part of the piece. Holy shit. That just sounds like the only one left. And then the Joker was number 67. It sounds to me like you're just describing Squid Game. I got it. I really don't know what to do with this guy.

I really... Are you done? Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if you have three windows up playing a different Sonic game on each one. I'm not. I'm really not. It's despicable, man. We waited a whole week

to record. The second we started, you're playing Sonic. It just sucks, man. It does suck, man. It's kindicable, man. We waited a whole week to record. The second we started playing Sonic. And it just sucks, man. It does suck, man. I mean, it's kind of unfortunate. Have you heard of this character called Christian? I've heard of that. But I've never looked too deeply into it. Mika, what...

Alright, so say your favorite your favorite franchise is sonic right mine mine is pokemon no way shut up you could not name five that's so much five pokemon five snorlax uh uh Sonichu Hold on, Charmander, Charizard Mega Charizard You can't name ones in the same What are you talking about? That's cheating Squirtle

Don't do starters I don't know what the fuck a Gen 1 is What is a Gen 1? It has to not be a Gen 1 What's a Gen 1? What the fuck is a gen 1 it has to not be a gen 1 it has to not be a gen 1 what's a gen 1 gen gen 2 through 8 what the fuck is a gen 2 it can't it can't be a mega evolution either he would never guess mega evolution yeah it also cannot be a dynamax or a gigantamax you'd never get it you'd never get any of that mu2 mu2 is gen 1 i thought listen i thought it was gen z no mewtwo is not gen z no mewtwo is gen alpha he's

yeah i'm pretty sure he's like part of the silent generation he saw some shit dude the new generation is generation alpha it's gonna suck so bad to grow up in generation beta all right grookey grookey all right yeah Okay but that's a starter So you can't Oh my fucking god Thwacky You're literally looking at Wikipedia There's no way you conjured up

Thwacky in your head just out of nowhere What are you talking about I know these My favorite My favorite franchise is Pokemon Okay where are you going with this Schlatt Sobble I know these. My favorite franchise is Pokemon. Where are you going with this, Schlatt? Sobble.

Sobble. That's just another... Why do you guys hate on Sobble? Let me keep going. Let me keep going. Sobble. Sirfetch'd. Wrong. That one's fake, actually. It's actually a first-generation Pokemon. Sirfetch'd is.... That one's fake, actually. It's actually a first-generation Pokemon.

Sirfetch'd is... No, that's part of the Galar region. But it is technically a part of the first-generation line. That's actually a good point. Clobbopus. That is fake, bro. That's not real. You're just making stuff up at this point. That's your porn username. Clobbopus. That is fake, bro. That's not real. You're just making stuff up at this point.

What are you talking about? That's your porn username on Pornhub. Clobopus? Spell Clobopus. How does that... It actually sounds so terrible. Clob. Clobopus. Clob.

If I look this up on Google, am I going to regret it? Nope. First name Clob. You're going to see Clobopus. Clobopus. You're going to see Clobbapuss. Clobbapuss. You're going to see something terrible. Wait, this is a real Pokemon. He's actually kind of cute.

I'm a fan of Clobbapuss. He's like a little- Of course you're a fan. He's a little tiny octopus wearing boxing gloves. How could you not love him? I could kick it like a soccer ball. I'm Clobbopus now. All three of us tell our favorite Pokemon to Shalette

and he has to pick the worst one. Okay, that'd be pretty cool. Frick, man. I don't know. Pikachu. No, it's not Pikachu. Dude, you can't pick Pikachu. That one's off the table. That's a Pokemon. No, it doesn't count. I don you can't pick Pikachu. Why? That one's off the table. You can't pick Pikachu. That's a Pokemon.

No, it doesn't count. I don't know, man. That's hard. Like, it's either Umbreon or, like, Porygon 2. I don't know. Oh, I like normal Porygon. That's a good Pokemon. Porygon 2.

I prefer Porygon 2. All right. No one cares about this. I'm locking in Porygon 2 i prefer porygon 2 all right no one cares about this i'm locking in porygon so many like two people care about all these pokemon like what if we just talked about the the lion thing again like again just run back to this all right globule here we go no no we we got to put on a good show we're like we we we're we got to take this seriously now okay yeah oh yo oh we have to take this seriously now we said i i knew you'd react like that and that's why i said that but we got it you're a troll you're literally trolling my podcast no we genuinely you think you're so funny dude yes man tell us a fucking joke

seriously oh i think you're a funny troll tell us a funny joke okay i have a funny joke okay okay ready all right all right time flies like an arrow fruit flies like banana no that was funny come on i got a joke mika how about this one this is my classic this is my class all right tell this to everybody tell us everybody i love this one it always works it always works and legitimately like whenever someone's like tell me a joke i always say this one you probably heard it already uh maybe i don't know until you until you said it i wouldn't there's two bears they're in a bathtub they're taking a bath together one of the bears goes guys I'm sorry but no no the visual is so funny he's got these two bears in a bathtub

so alright alright so the one bear says the other I would appreciate it if you could I'm trying to listen to the joke it's fine I would like Schlatt to say the joke. One bear goes, pass the soap.

Oh my god. Okay. And then the other guy says to him, he says, he says, What does he say

the first bear the first bear goes pass the soap pass the soap right so what does the second bear say the first guy says pass the soap

the second guy goes he says to him the second guy or second bear the second bear he says to him he says he says no soap radio

wait what I don't even get it He says, no soap, radio. Wait, what? I don't even get it. Holy shit. Just imagine two bears talking to each other. It's so fucking funny, dude. The bears in the top. Oh, my God.

Wow. You could have ended it right there. That shit was awesome. I actually don't get it, though. That was probably one of the best jokes I think I've ever heard in my life. Oh, wait, no, I still get it. Okay. Why did chicken cross the road? Why?

Because! Because! I like that one. I have a genuinely... Okay, hold on, hold on. Let me... Hold on, hold on. No. No.

We're good. We're gonna pivot right here. We're gonna change gears. We actually have to change gears. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, wait, wait, wait. Nah, sorry, man. Time's up.

Wait, wait, wait. Time's up. Where... Miko. This better be good dude oh okay um the past present and future walked into a bar future it was it was tense yo i love history it was that's so funny um no no so yeah all right all right man no it's that's cool go back to sonic or something what do you call a blind dinosaur wait i can't read this do you do you think it's so what

what would a vegan zombie eat Do you think a saurus? What? What would a vegan zombie eat? Grains. Okay, that sucks. That was not too bad. Okay. All right. All right. Okay.

Okay. All right. All right. Can we change gears all right can we change gears now can we change yeah we we all right let's we'll change we'll change so guys on our patreon at patreon.com sleep deprived which by the way after after this podcast is over you can go and subscribe for the very very low price of uh five dollars and the podcast extends itself by, like, double. It's magic. You put money into the machine, the machine doubled the podcast. Exactly.

There's some other cool perks that you've got to go to the site to check out. There's more? I mean, it's all worth it. It's all so worth it, and it's embarrassingly cheap, and, like, if you can't afford it, that's kind of sad for you.

Like gas. We do have a tier on there where we ask our fellow patrons to send in a message for us to read out. And this time, Bill Clinton on Patreon wanted us to read out, Bill Clinton did nothing wrong. His name is actually Bill Clinton. That's cool. Yeah, I think it's the real guy. Yeah, I think it's him. And. Yeah, I think it's him. And side note, we got way too many of these messages.

I mean, we really have had a crazy amount of success on the platform. And that's all thanks to you guys. But this also means that we have to read one message a month. So that is the new normal, I think. Because we'll be spending... One from each person. We'll be spending like 30 hours on each episode doing the messages, if not. So you get one message a month and we'll read one per person, Bill.

Yeah. It would be really annoying if a bunch of people just donated to make the list even longer. Yeah. That would be really annoying if a bunch of people just donated to make the list even longer. Yeah. That would suck. That would be so annoying. And sometimes we won't even do what you say. Like this guy JustaBluetoon wants me to meow like a cat. But I won't.

I won't do that, actually. Owned. And so you just got scammed out of $25. That's funny that he wanted you to say that because because in our in our discord channel the only people who can talk uh he said for me to to pass on like he wanted us to say team fortress 2 deserves better okay well now we we literally just said the rules and you've just broken them. So, what are you even up to, man? My ass hurts.

My understand... Oh, okay. Nazo the Ultimate wanted you to say that. Yeah. Stream Alex Unknown. You gotta say the name of the person who's saying it. Paper bag said you. Logan Gordy

says stream Alex on there. Thanks, Logan. The new text document said 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0. Anyone burger. What does that mean? I don't even know. I really don't understand

what the appeal of us reading these fucking messages is. We're only going to read competent ones. If you say A-O-MOMO, what the fuck is that? That makes no sense. We're not going to read that. It makes zero sense.

It just doesn't make any sense sometimes. Like, high-gun group chat. I don't even know what that means. It's gibberish. It doesn't make sense. It really is, and I feel bad that you got scammed. Yeah, bitterly, I would appreciate if someone said, Ayo, Momo.

Don't know what that means. You just got scammed. Panda just said it. Wait, did you actually? I'm sorry. I actually blacked out. No, I'm sorry. I blacked out. I swear to God. You probably were playing fucking Sonic.

I was not playing Sonic. I swear to God. I was not playing Sonic. I was not playing Sonic. Is that all of them? Are we done? Now we're in the patron only. Alright, yep. Follow us over into the patron only part of the show.

Baba Booey. Baba Booey.