Sleep Deprived Podcast - Panda Is Deathly Ill - SDP #134

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 28 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey everyone welcome back to the sweet tribe podcast episode i don't know mika do you know what episode it is yeah i think this is episode 134 134 panda has ebola guys i got covid after making fun of fauci for so much finally finally got to fucking rams my asshole i should have gotten the water vaccine it's just a matter of time also uh heads up to our listeners if you hear power tools it's because someone is renovating the fireplace i'm in mika's house and i'm fucking sawing the walls down. Yeah. I unfortunately had no control over when the renovations would be. When I would show up with a chainsaw

and saw your walls down. Yeah. What did I do wrong? You deserve it, man. You deserve it. I got Pfizer. I got Johnson & Johnson. I got all of them.

You have been desecrating Fauci's name for years. Fauci is getting his payback. Dude, you don't understand. Such a bitch. He's going to dismantle you. He's going to take you down atomically.

Maybe I got the antidote. I guess I would. Once you overcome COVID, then you're immune to that specific type, right? Yeah, so you're immune to Fauci. Fauci's come now. What a fucked up man. What a gross guy.

What a fucked up day. I'd slap Fauci. You'd slap him? I'd slap him. He didn't do shit for me. Mika, would you slap Fauci? Be honest. him? I'd slap him. He didn't do shit for me. Mika, would you slap Fauci? Be honest. I don't think I would. I don't really think he deserves it.

I'd be like... Wait, so you're telling me after what Fauci did to Panda, you wouldn't slap Fauci? Mika, I got COVID-20, bro. Do I not matter? This really matters. I'm coughing up a storm. No, you matter, but I don't really see how

Fauci had anything to do with it. Because he's a fucking failure. He did nothing for me. Fauci is a fucking op. You know what Fauci's mom said when he flushed this thing? Get rid of this. Oh, yuck. Why does it look like like that she tried to put it back in the

womb after it came out oh put that thing back let it cook a little longer you know what happens to everyone i hate dream bam he's a weirdo and then you know what happened next um just the roiland bam loses his job how she see, you're fucking next, bro. Holy shit. When I put all my energy into one person, it's over. Do you think you're prophetic? A pathetic?

No, I would never call you a pathetic, man. Might as well be. I got COVID-20, guys. I just, I'm really worried for you, you know, I think you didn't deserve what Fauci did to you, you know? Yeah, are you... Are you saying that you have, like, a spiritual link between people you don't like and yourself?

I think so, too. There's more people, but it gets worse. There's, like, a whole universe of people in your head that you really hate and you're just you're tearing them down psychologically prince philip prince philip for example prince philip but everyone knew that one everyone knew prince philip was was shitty and dessert i was ready to die You could have lived for an extra 40 years. Who are some other people that you really hate? I don't really hate. However, if I talk shit, it's like my death note.

They get fucked somehow. Do you think you'd ever open up for people getting paid to talk to talk yeah like commissions like like a twitter artist but for like yeah actually do you do commission work because i would i have a few people that'd be genius yeah i should do that that's a lot of money right there five hundred dollars and i'll give bad juju to somebody well there's some people I've tried it with and it just doesn't work. Oh, shit. That sucks. I know. Honestly, I love you. So if you hit somebody, it's probably... Oh, now you're just saying that just because I can use my

powers against you. Don't, please. You know what this was? I got COVID-20 because God had to... I don't even know if i got i got covid 21 okay uh panna i think you're really funny like honestly you might be the funniest person i know in my whole life real talk like at least like top three uh i think i think you have a like really high uh comedic genius like you're one of those people that's just witty. That's not true.

Yeah, no, you're witty, dude. Literally, you just conjure something. You have the perfect fucking thing to say, and you just drop it, like fucking mic drop. It's fucking insane. You're so quotable. It's true, Panda. You do really just come up with those

quips one by one. You are the most quotable person i've ever met that's true what's the whole thing i've said dude we'll fucking have to shit on our channel is your shit fucking like gooning and mewing and all that shit like you fucking started the wave you better renew dude you're fucking fauci dance in that fucking video you really that's my favorite bit in my whole fucking life yeah panda you're the funniest thing to me in my life and look where it got me yeah fucking rich sorry yeah i'm sorry yeah you are really you are really poor and you have covid

can we get more patreon dollars we're gonna be changing that we got plans viewers we got we got plans and mika you are the kindest fucking person on the planet you are the kindest person i know you are so selfless and so empathetic and and so fucking talented musically gifted best musician i know i mean seriously you are fucking you are genius thanks man i appreciate that and i'm gonna i'm gonna fucking kill you both right now with a gun i appreciate that yeah well panda i think that uh yeah you're like a really clever funny silly guy i think you have a huge heart fuck yeah yeah i think you like you like shield yourself with like a 20 layer coat of irony but i think you're just a genuinely good person and uh very quotable

i don't know what you're talking about do you have a dick? And you have a big ass dick! I have a big dick. Yeah, you got a tripod. You ass fucking dick. Guys, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. When you take out that dick, you literally have to roll it out like red carpet. Yeah, when people need to stabilize

a camera, they just ask you to use your tripod. Damn, Mika. You thought it'd be like that dude i think covid made your dick bigger i think it did holy shit would you guys get cold i guess no i guess most guys would get their get covid if they get their dick bigger it's just temporary i think that's a valid reason not to take the vaccine we are anti-vax by the way astro i think you are like one of the most puke do you hear that power saw did you just did you just fight oh sorry i'm cutting down when i yeah i'm cutting down your wall yeah i'm gonna tell you what I think about you while you do that.

No, don't do that. I don't want to be perceived. Well, you know how I feel about you. Thank you. I'm going to cut down your walls. Do it. Yo. We've been waiting, like, I think, like, since March or February.

No, yeah, since, like, March to have this stuff renovated. What the hell? Yeah, it's been a long time coming. Well, hey, I mean, you know, chainsaws cost a lot of money. So it took me a while to get the funds, but now that the Patreon's up, I can afford a chainsaw. I'm willing to cut down any of your walls. I didn't know you appreciated that so much. I'm willing to cut down every wall you ever live in.

Could you actually make the house half as tall as it is now? I'm going to give that house leg extensions. I'm going to put a metal rod in that house. Dude, do you think like a house surgery is i gotta let my cat out panda do you think house surgery is possible like you know how people break their legs to get a metal rod inserted could you do that with your house hmm well you know those people or have you ever seen have you seen a truck carrying a whole house uh yeah i have actually yeah so it can't be that different from that you know dude the first time i saw that i was actually like extreme i didn't

know it was possible i was like what's going on here like i didn't know you could just move a house with a car, or with a truck, I guess. I'm gonna move all of you with a truck. Whoa, whoa! Hold on, the globule's gonna come out! Do you think, uh, given, like, Panda's recent size changes,

he could move a house with his dick i don't know like does his body grow too like how does it work it's just the dick but i mean panda is your dick big enough to like lift a house well i do suppose you could inflate it and then like a balloon stuff in it yeah that's like fucking spongebob when he's inflating his arms or that one that one sandy that one episode where sandy's sucking up um it's so crazy that that people don't remember that episode where sandy gives uh patrick a sloppy toppy like no one ever talks about that that That was a literal episode of season one. Wait, what episode was this? Season one, episode

13, Patrick goes over to the dome and gets domed. You don't remember that? I try to fuck. Sure, Patrick! Shut up. She fucking gave him sloppy toppy. They didn't cut it out. It was like two minutes straight

of sloppy toppy. And didn't cut it out. It was like two minutes straight of sloppy toffee. Yeah, and then it immediately cuts to the boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Two hours later. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I actually totally forgot about that. I thought it was like a deleted scene. Yeah, no, that was real.

They just aired that. It's crazy. Steven Hillenburg was fucking ahead of his time. I didn't realize it made it to air steven hillenberg isn't that that one tragedy can i can i make fun of you yeah kick him in while he's down i heard your yeti mic i heard you i heard you press that yeti mic button because i was coughing real bad but it's so audible i just i i had to put it out because i know that fucking yeti mic button

like that sound like it's so recognizable my friend has a yeti and he's always fucking pressing that button is it the mute button i yeah it's just a big ass fucking button on it that says mute and it's lit up you fucking press it and it makes that click it's just a big ass fucking button on it that says mute it's lit up you fucking press it and it makes that click it's been a while since i've had a yeti i still have one but i don't use it for the for the recordings i had one for the longest time um i had it for like three years after it broke basically the usb USB insert got like really fucked up somehow. And I just like couldn't plug it in. But theoretically, it could work. Do you think if I stuck like a USB into your ass, like it would download some information?

Um, I don't know. I don't know if that's how DNA works. That'd be so cool. Yeah, imagine in the future, people don't even need to like how DNA works. That'd be so cool. Yeah. Imagine in the future, people don't even need to like reproduce that way. You just stick a USB somewhere and you get genetic information and then you just combine it in a computer. Do you think if Panda had a baby right now, it would be born with like COVID?

It'd be born with many things, diseases and deforms syphilis yeah many problems do you pass down hepatitis to a baby oh actually i think you can but let me double check can you pass down like um like big dick yeah is that genetic can you pass down like a cold like the sniffles dude yeah you can pass down hepatitis b to your to your baby damn yeah wait so mika let's say um some kid his whole life had blunt force trauma but not enough to kill him just enough to traumatize him it could be afraid of like rocks and this person goes on to have a child will that child also have that fear built into that kid uh i don't think so because i think that's more of like a conditioned fear i think you don't think

i could go into the genome and the genome the the new child genome the g-spot that's a good question the g-spot guys I'm watching this season of Rick and Morty what? you've been watching the old Rick and Morty? no the new one

with Justin Roiland? you know what's crazy? I actually think it's better without Justin Roiland really? yeah you don't think there's any bias here? Nico, what are you talking about? It does

I mean, remember what Panda said He's prophetic, right? So, I believe exactly what he says about Justin Roiland I think this is objective fact Bozo lost his job Lol what he says about Justin Roiland. I think this is objective fact. Bozo lost his job. Lol.

I think we need to bury him so he becomes Justin Soylent. Not like soy drink, but like soy oil. No, that was good. That was good. Thanks. Do you think Justin Roiland's ever taken roids?

Justin Roiland. He looks like it. Does he? Is he ripped? No, no, no. He just looks like the failure. A roids failure? Like someone who took roids and it went wrong?

Yeah, like it went wrong. Like when you get a hair transplant, but it goes wrong. I love, he just looks like a failure. Imagine just saying that to somebody you care about. You just look like a failure. He looks, I don't know. When I look at this guy, he looks... He looks like that one friend that would always take things too far and doesn't know limits

like yeah yeah like you're playing punchies and he starts making you bleed and shit he's like i'm not done yet it's funny you say that he actually does look like one of my um old friends from childhood growing up and uh we were playing on the trampoline and this friend and my other friend the justin roiland friend he like tried to he tried to bite my no he said that my friend bit his eye which is just not possible yeah justin roiland just looks like a mistake yeah he's just an abomination of a human being. It's a waste of life. I can't believe stem cells and blood vessels and everything was compiled to make that. There's so many people that can't be born, and yet, for some fucking reason, the world let him lose.

You know what's crazy? The world could be way worse right now. Yeah, if there were more justin roilands popping out of the pussy yeah how much go ahead panda no go on mika no no you're you're in the middle of it i will slit my throat go on i was gonna ask uh how much of Justin Roiland do you think is nature versus nurture? Oh, it's got to be 50-50. It looks like it's... No, no, it's all nature. It's all nature.

I don't know. He's been out in the fucking woods. Like, maybe his parents are nice guys, but I don't know. Nice guys? No, they can't be. I think that Justin Roiland seriously is a creature. Like, I think at night, he roams through theams through the streets, like, on all fours. You think he's, like, literally nature?

I think he's 100% nature. I think he's a part of nature. I think it's nature's mistake. Damn. I feel like he has a really dark secret. Like, I feel like, obviously, this is conjecture. This is not real but I feel like he's fucked an animal before

oh my god well I think at night he fucking goes out like on all fours like honestly I'm imagining him like pardon me but I'm imagining him ass naked and he's just running around on all fours and he's just consuming flesh

like he's just eating people i think he's like a wendigoon or whatever oh yeah one to go yeah i think uh he's gonna be forgotten like to the sands of time but he's gonna live on and he's just gonna be wandering the woods and it's gonna be like bigfoot people are gonna to see pictures of people are going to see him and take pictures of him they're going to be like what is this creature like thousands of years from now no one will know what rick and morty is or justin or anything but they'll just see this this fucking creature wandering around yeah they don't know where it's from or why it's there but he's just cursed to wander around naked naked and free and people are gonna look totally different too so he's not even gonna look

like humans oh yeah he'll look just a weird creature yeah dude it's sort of like uh he'll basically be like the pyramid because you know how like all the rest of the technology is hidden underground and like we haven't found it yet because like obviously they were using like fucking space technology to make

that pyramid and justin roiland will be the last remaining remnant of our techno dystopian world it'll be the only thing that we can show for our generation after we get swept by a you know natural disaster i actually believe that to be honest yeah i think a lot of people who are really wealthy right now they're gonna upload their consciousnesses to the cloud and then they're gonna try to live on in the internet but then people are people in the future are just gonna be really annoyed with them after there's like an economic revolution holy shit yeah they're gonna like trap them on a desktop or something. Holy fuck, that'd be so sick. They're gonna trap them on a USB somehow. Imagine you just have like Elon Musk's consciousness on like a little program on your desktop and you're just like fucking with him.

Like he's like that fucking like little like flash game where you fuck with the interactive buddy. I think there's gonna be bounties. People are going to hunt for these, like, super wealthy consciousnesses, and they're going to wear them as necklaces around their... They're going to wear them as USB necklaces around their neck, and it's going to be a flex. It's like... Well, that'd be so fire.

Yeah. A necklace. Elon Musk is my Justin Roiland. Like, I don't even have any real hatred for any other billionaire obviously whatever Elon Musk is the one just purely because he annoys me

there's no good reason I just find him annoying yeah he's like Iron Man in real life what do you mean he's actually Marvel I love when people say that he's like iron made a real life what do you mean he's actually a marvel i love when people say that he's uh he's he's robert downery jr he's uh he's iron man yeah they totally like uh

because he totally is i mean look at him he he's you know what honestly he kind of is like iron man Iron Man, if you removed the charisma, charm, handsomeness, added funny, because he's so funny. Funny, yeah. No, I'm saying you add it, because he's hilarious. Let that sink in. That's what?

I'm just saying we could let that sink in. Yo, Astro, did you bring the sink for the renovation i am cutting down all your walls you won't have anything left okay do you mind if i let that sink in i'm gonna let that toilet in um astro panda is your refrigerator running bitches don't run panda and i do not own a refrigerator together i i have my own refrigerator and I do not own a refrigerator together.

I have my own refrigerator, and Panda has his own refrigerator. I've actually done that. Our refrigerators have stopped talking. I would not refer to it as our refrigerator. I have my own. Oh, that's because you own full custody of your fridge now. I own full custody of my

fridge now. We're having sort of a dispute Mika we both want custody over our fridge well my fridge I should it's also my fridge half my fridge

the fridge doesn't even like you the fridge doesn't even want to be the fridge doesn't know what it wants the fridge doesn't know what it wants now The fridge doesn't know what it wants. Oh, great. Now the fridge is crying. You got the fridge crying. The fridge is a bitch. I've actually done away with fridges. What do you do? Do you just throw it outside?

No, I just salt everything and I keep it in a wooden box. Dude, I had a mini fridge that had a bunch of ice in it and I unplugged it and all the ice melted and water went everywhere that actually really sucks man i'm sorry yeah you know what panna you can keep the fucking fridge i have better things to do i'm gonna explore myself i'm gonna i'm gonna get into cars

now no microwave is ever going to want me because I got this fridge attached to me. I'm going to go to the strip club. I'm going to get jet black hair, spiked frosted tips in my 50s. Fuck you. I don't need you. Joke's on you.

I'm going to go on Fridge Tinder and I'm going to find some other fridges. You wouldn't. Yeah, once I find out about little fridge over here they're not gonna want me it's kind of um it's kind of like generous of fridge tinder to add like a filter of like people who already have fridges i can't believe it's a deal breaker for some people yeah isn't that ridiculous yeah it's like so what you have to take care of a fridge you know big deal you just set it in

one place and leave it alone and it just runs yeah you just leave it in a dark room and let it just sit in there just don't open the freezer uh panda when uh when fridge goes over to your house just don't open the freezer just don't open it nothing in there what do you have in the freezer astro it's a bunch of just a bunch of cow meat that's just cow meat i love beef i've been eating a lot of beef that's beef in there wait are you actually eating beef now no but i mean yes i yeah it's not human in the freezer sorry chainsaws running again yeah it's okay you haven't been using that chainsaw's running again. Yeah, it's okay. You haven't been using that chainsaw for anything else recently, have you? Those are ketchup stains. Because I've been cutting tomatoes.

My knives are dull. I didn't know you were friends with chainsaw, man. Yeah, we go way back. You know, speaking of chainsaws and cutting houses down, I started watching this show called the fall of house the fall of the house of usher have you heard of it usher like the guy who made bieber yeah the guy who made bieber holy shit there's this i'm sure he's ever sitting in his bedroom going like bieber i made you um fucking made clown yeah maybe if he's like really like petty yeah that'd be so fucking lame

yeah anyways there was this scene where usher goes around with thor's hammer and is smashing the walls he's making holes in the walls because there's this cat that keeps scratching him wait usher's putting holes in the walls yeah Yeah, just like how you're cutting my walls down, Usher goes around and is like... Hey, just to be fair, you signed the waiver, okay? You said I could cut your walls down, so you can't complain. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little breezy now, though.

I don't really know what I'm going to do. Well, you're one with nature, just like Roiland. Yeah. Just keep your eyes open around 3 a.m. That's when he comes around that neighborhood. Are you going to install a roof? Nope. Okay.

Because I was going to say, if you were going to install a roof, I could get used to crawling around on all fours real quick. Be careful, because Royland, he's known to attack from the sky. Like a hawk? Like a fucking hawk. He will swoop down and he will get you i'm just saying man i i would i would hate to lose you to roiland i feel like roiland uh maybe maybe it's like a threat on both air land and sea and i think we need to get the military

involved i um i would honestly use a nuke for that one instance i think roiland is worth using a nuke on as long as it's a direct hit otherwise it's not gonna do anything because he's so fucking powerful he's like a cockroach he just keeps coming back up yeah what's the whole thing about nuking cockroaches they can survive yeah yeah roiland is just like a cockroach yeah justin coyland justin cuckland cuckland soylent so it's a fucking i'm looking at him right now i've been staring at him this whole episode it's really unsettling who just he looks like an alcoholic. Well, he's gotta be, right? Yeah. At this point.

No, I think he probably has been, right? That's one of the reasons he was fired. Okay, that makes sense. I think he would drive an RC car around during the Rick and Morty recordings and he'd harass people with it. Wait, that's something you would do? That is something I would do. the Rick and Morty recordings and he'd harass people with it. Like a little child. Wait, that's something you would do?

That is something I would do. Wait. I think you're jealous of Roiland. No. I'm just kidding. What was the reason I hated him again? He crawled around on all fours naked and tried to eat me.

I think you didn't like his voices oh yeah there's another i thought he made like the same jokes over and over again or something yeah something like that yeah he's that guy well if you want to listen to panda talk about harassing people um head on over to our patreon section where you get extent for five dollars a month you get extended episodes um a patriot a discord server minecraft server um uncensored videos and there's other tiers where you get bonus shows and stuff a lot of people have been really enjoying it lately i might i might add it's the best it's the best patreon ever everyone ever has been saying wow this shit rocks my dick got bigger i'm smarter now and i'm fucking awesome yeah if only you gave money required

you would be a better person because right now yikes and i hear a fucking awful person so you should change that