Sleep Deprived Podcast - Rich people are INSANE - SDP #119

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 28 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey what's up everybody welcome back to the sleep deprived podcast episode 119 that sounds right maybe yeah on 119 119 baby we could just make up numbers at this point there's so many yeah or i guess you could say episode one of season season 27 or season four oh sorry yeah episode one of season four hi everybody how's everyone doing today What is up dude I am doing great Mika Dude that is sick I'm doing so fucking I'm freaking

I'm so hyped to record What about you Panda Panda Panda Panda Oh Mika Prop him up I think he's sick panda oh mika prop him up i think he's sick

panda you okay here let me give him some medicine oh hey guys sorry that was that was awkward i don't know what got into me hey panda how you doing welcome back to life man do you guys think semen's ever been used for anything medicinal yeah probably let's look it up you know has semen ever helped anybody

you know i know i just asked the question but have you guys heard about that scorpion juice that's like really expensive no let me lookika, have you heard of the scorpion juice? Well, I know that scorpion venom is used for medicine. Yeah, and it's made with scorpion semen. So there you go. Is it actually? No, it just comes from the stinger. I'm just saying things. That shit's really expensive.

Yeah, what I heard was there's like scorpion venom that comes from the stinger that is worth like hundreds of dollars per milliliter. Really? Because it's like, yeah, because it's really hard to harvest. And because the scorpion itself, like it has like, I guess, a period of time where after it stings you with venom, it has to like regenerate more venom. And it produces only small amounts at a time so oh i mean it'd be easy for me i would just negotiate a better deal with the scorpion well if you could see the thing is if you could make a scorpion farm then you could really start raking it in exactly that's what we should do oh that's a good idea sleep deprived should just become a scorpion farm yeah that would be really awesome we should try to think of the most immoral thing that we could do because that

would probably make the most money because no one else is willing to do it like we should harvest like like uh baby blood oh and then sell it but like what would why because no one else is going to do it old people love young blood other than they get transfusions yeah there's that billion have you guys seen that billionaire that uh is like taking his young son's blood to like stay youthful dude what yeah there's this billionaire i don't know how old he is he's in like his 40s maybe or like he's like 50 and he has like an 18 or like 17 year old son uh-oh panda's turning into a villager in minecraft i'm sorry like the golden apple um you he takes his son's blood and like injects it into himself and he lives only on multivitamins.

It's really creepy. He looks really weird. He looks like Data from Star Trek. Is it working though? That's the thing. I don't know. He has all these fucking machines in his house. He's strapped up to them like Darth Vader

and they pump in every little scientific chemical they can find. know he's just obsessed with this crap i think it would be really funny if he just like gets cancer here's here's my whole thing with this like i feel like if there were like readily available and like convenient ways to maintain your healthiness and like your youth for longer it's like sure but if you're spending like 20 hours a day to like extend your life by three hours is it worth it yeah are you really extending your life it sounds like you're wasting it i thought yeah well because like you could just be doing better things and like like i understand like you know spending an hour a day

exercising or like trying to eat a little better but when you're like strapping yourself up to the fucking machine to get an x-ray every day and like you get out and you're like you only eat vitamins and like raw chicken like you're like wasting your whole day like he should have one day at least where he eats like a burger king whopper yeah like it's just sad with uh honestly like on the fitness grind it is recommended you do have like one cheat day at least yeah you gotta have a cheat day it's it's just better for like compliance to the program you have set for yourself to eat healthier but it's also just like better for your body because because your body needs to know that you're not starving pretty much. Yeah, they say when you're dieting, a popular tool,

and hey, I'm not a doctor, so don't listen to me, but a popular way is diet for five days of the week and then a day or two on the weekend, eat a more normal calorie amount. And so that keeps your body regulated. I don't know if that's true, but I've heard that. No, it is true from what I've heard as well also not a doctor but yeah it helps regulate your appetite and your cravings for like junk and stuff it's just good i don't know that guy just freaks me you should put a picture of him on this freaks me out we should put a picture of him on the screen he's he's pretty

terrifying his face looks like it's made of rubber what's his name i don't know his fucking name nobody nobody cared about him until he started fucking strapping himself up to the darth vader machine and and eating like 900 vitamins a day and pills so panda okay you got let's say you have two billion dollars are you doing the darth vader vitamin regimen dude i feel like it hasn't really helped him that much like maybe his body but like but like his face, his face looks his age. Yeah, he looks like a freak. He looks like simultaneously 60 and 20. It's kind of creepy.

I heard about this. He's not quite a billionaire, but he sold his company to PayPal for, I think, 600 or 800 million. And he's been spending $2 dollars a year in order to also appear youthful and he has this video on youtube where he like goes through his routine so he uses like a bunch of lasers he uses like a bunch of vitamins and like yeah yeah yeah they love lasers like they're gonna get cancer they're like strapping them they're getting an x-ray every day and like putting lasers in their skin like they're gonna get cancer at like the age of 50 like it's over yeah man i don't know if it's worth it yeah billionaires do it's just really funny the a

better use of that much money i think you guys all can agree is a submarine because that like you can see underwater and explore it's really funny how every single person with a high net worth was invited to go on the submarine somehow high net worth was invited to go on the submarine somehow like mr beast was invited to go on the submarine oh that would have been an awesome video i think we can do even better we could we could we could uh spend our multi millions on like a spaceship they do like throw us into space they already do that but oh they do that throw us into space they already do that but oh they do i mean well they don't really go into space they're like all these billionaires like uh obsessed with uh space tourism which is never going to be a thing where like you spend like five hundred thousand dollars

and you get in a spaceship and you go like just a little bit higher than a plane for like five minutes and then you go back down that shit sucks dude they should put the thrusters on full in like a spaceship and just like launch and leave the atmosphere and keep the thrusters going and just like not turn them off yeah until they like run through the atmosphere you guys think in this decade we'll go to mars i don't think so honestly in this decade i don't think so personally i mean like what do you mean by go to mars like a human yeah like humans will be at mars they'll be walking on mars they'll fuck on mars they'll eat on mars they'll do everything on mars i don't know maybe there will be a more strong

like cold war between uh the u.s and, and then we'll have another space race. That could be kind of fun. And then China will beat us there. But then we'll pretend we won. If I'm not mistaken, I feel like NASA wanted to send a manned mission by 2030-something. Yeah, we just don't have the funds. We're putting 90% of money into into war right now so yeah can i be honest with you um like why do we care so much about going to mars when earth is

so fucked up right now i think that's why i think it's like it's another one of those billionaire dreams it's like i want to make enough money so that i can go live on mars like by myself away from all these poor people can Can we make Earth good first? Can we fix the problems here first? They're making New Zealand really cool. What? Every billionaire has a bunker in New Zealand. Do you know that?

Once the apocalypse happens, all the billionaires are going to move to New Zealand. It's going to be like a 1,000 population billionaire bunker town. It's going to be awesome. Dude, living living living on panda would you rather live on mars or would you rather live on venus oh that's such a stupid question no it's not i don't explain after wait but isn't venus just gas no is it it has uh it's it's hard you can like stand on it can't yeah it has a rock surface i think but here's so basically go ahead panda mars you'd rather live on mars that's the only right answer so here's why you should live on venus here's why here's why I'm going to tell you why you should live on Venus. Here's why I'm going to tell you you should be living on Venus, dude.

Okay, so it is very hot on Venus. That's true. But if you're high enough in the atmosphere, it's actually like, it's basically Earth temperature. Like you could go outside in nothing but like an oxygen mask. So how do we stay up there then? Are we just always strapped to like a spaceship? We would need like we would need like floating cities like in bioshock infinite basically honestly that might be easier to do than colonizing

yeah what if we fall off then you die for sure then you die yeah that's a good point but but it's like okay think about think of it this way okay like imagine you just go outside and nothing but like a t-shirt and undies and like an oxygen mask in the skies of venus and you can just like enjoy a nice leisurely stroll in your floating city it's also much closer to earth so it'd be easier to like ship water and like food and stuff and it would just be like much easier to ship building materials or like if and stuff and it would just be like much easier to ship building materials or like if there's an emergency you're closer to help you're literally just describing like skyblock in real life yeah versus mars is like much further away it takes much

longer to get there every single like space would need to be like modular like you could have a soccer stadium outside in venus but on mars you would have to build like a whole like soccer dome that's insulated from the atmosphere and yeah you would like constantly be inside you could never go outside unless you're in like a space suit you know but mika it would be so much money to export water from the good old US. Meanwhile, Mars, we have the caps. We can just melt that shit and get water.

Yeah, but do they still have the caps? Maybe. I'm going to be an Earth conservative. I'm going to stay on Earth. Well, yeah, of course. That's the ideal, to stay on Earth. I don't know how the technology would work to keep these uh these buildings afloat in the atmosphere of venus

it seems tough i don't know actually solar power yeah what if you just had like a bunch of propeller hats taped to the bottom of like your floating city that's fun yeah we can all be attached to those like uh fan mechanisms that those youtubers build we can all be attached to those like fan mechanisms that those youtubers build you know those guys who like sit on a chair and it has a big fan on it and they just fly in their like local town what i've never you haven't seen those no oh they're pretty fun there's one where like a bird lands on a guy while he's doing it it's just like you're just strapped up to this giant fan basically and you have a parachute above it and you can just like fall i for there's a word for them i figure

what they're called is it a fan chair that sounds like some cartoon shit like it is literally cartoonish that sounds like getting a magnet and putting in front of a truck and then it moves the truck yeah when you fly in the fan chair do you make like like cartoonish noises they should they look like uh what what's the fucking guy that uh is it evil kenevil yeah they look like evil kenevil they should all be wearing an evil kenevil outfit with a big cape you go like yeah that would be fun we should have like uh like uh air cops that sit in those things and follow the flying cars air cops yeah like people are in flying cars you know flying cars are like exist now we're all like moving around and then you have like uh

no i'm saying like in this hypothetical world and then the cops they have to sit in the fair in the fan chairs and follow you around that would be fun They should just have like one cop assigned to each flying car and like they just have like rope that they hold on to kind of like a sled. Your car is the sled and they have a giant megaphone. They're just following you around all the time.

Yeah, it's like I want you to imagine a bunch of like Santas except the reindeer is a flying car and santa is the cop sitting on like the the chair fan the fan chair you just like make a you make it like an illegal left turn he's he like puts his megaphone on he's like hey that was illegal is he obama panda would you rather be a would you rather have a flying car or a fan chair i'd rather have a flying car mika i'd rather have a flying car that's the car it can fly wait can the flying car also be a normal car well no it's a flying car yeah it's but there's no

wheels on it no there can be wheels on it but like just yeah that's the dumb that's the dumb part right there's it's just a plane why do you even call it a flying car we should all just get a plane everybody has a harrier from mw2 how are they gonna like uh control traffic if everyone is in a plane all the time, you know? They don't. It'll be a libertarian dream. People in the sky can fly wherever they want. It'll be beautiful. Fourth of July is going to look a lot different. What with all the flying cars crashing into each other.

It would be awesome to shoot off fireworks at people in flying cars. Try to hit them with them yeah i feel like if if people were in flying cars the incidences of like people shining lasers into the night sky would oh my god i would be doing that every night are you serious yeah fuck those fuck those flying cars that's so irresponsible we're staying on the ground the ground is where it's at so irresponsible i'm getting a rpg rocket launcher like that kai stream and i'm shooting them down i'm getting a bow and arrow dude if you hit a guy at a flying cover the bow and arrow that would be fucking awesome that's kind of like the that's like the future in the past

mixing right there i would support you until the day you die i would visit you in prison that would just be super fucking cool panda imagine you just shoot your bow and arrow into like a flying car's tire and the guy driving is like ah got a flat tire and oh yeah would you fletch your own arrows panda or like would you just like like how would you get the source these arrows dude actually mika here's the thing i changed my mind i think i'd get a slingshot like uh oh hell yeah like bart usopp usopp usopp yep. So would you shoot like walnuts at him? I'd shoot everything I could find. I'd shoot animals, I'd shoot... Animals?

I'd shoot pretty much anything. Nah, man, some squirrels, they'd probably make a pretty mean dent. I actually don't think so. You can leave the squirrels alone. You need like a denser object, like a rock. Well, what's an animal that's as hard as a rock? An armadillo, I'd get an armadillo. Yeah, maybe an armadillo or like a rock well what's an animal that's as hard as a rock an armadillo i get an armadillo yeah maybe an armadillo or like a tortoise oh yeah tortoise don't fuck with me when i got my

tortoise on me a tortoise slingshot would be crazy dude tortoises will straight up like bite your fingers off it they won't let you shoot them they're too slow they're too slow dude have you ever seen a tortoise or like a snapping turtle try to snapping turtles are different but aren't regular tortoises they're like kind of slow i don't know or do they start do they save all their energy for that snap of the mouth i don't know dude i i like i i'm pretty sure they they just really go for you man they don't hold any punches back. Do some turtles come fast? They come really fast. When they see a hot turtle, they come

right away. When they see a big booty turtle? How do you think? Do you think like a Oh my god! Jesus! Alright, let's pause for that one second. Mika, put that in the plastic baggie. Okay. I got another one that in the plastic baggie. Okay. I got another one.

We can analyze this later. That's the tortoise coming out. What were you saying, Astro? I don't know. I think I was talking about hot-ass turtles or something. Do you think turtles, like, instead of seeing a hot ass, they just see a cool shell? They're like, damn,

that's a hot-ass shell. That's the name, dude. I want to hit on that if i was a turtle i'll be looking for that turtle rump you can barely even see him well actually like whoever has a bigger rump i could see it because uh i was watching this dinosaur show with my friend called uh prehistoric planet and they were talking about how uh like triceratops they would have like very colorful uh you know like what are they called frills penises oh no dude they would have very colorful like uh you know the iconic triceratops like cone head and apparently like it was used to attract mates and stuff as on top of being defensive and they found that out because they found there was like a bunch of pigmentation on like the bones or

something so it's like i wouldn't be surprised if a turtle would like be like damn that shell is hot you know how like uh like birds when they mate with each other, they like do a little dance and like show off like their cool feathers and stuff to try to allure a female? Yeah. Do you think back in the day cavemen would helicopter their dick to try to attract a female? Dude, no, I don't think so. I think so. We can't rule it out. We wouldn't know.

Yeah. You have to think about that, Mika. I guess there's no way to know for sure actually it's not a bad idea that's what i'm saying like it would be pretty entertaining to watch exactly like i would be amazed if i just got back from hunting uh hunting some meat i come back to the cave and i see this guy helicoptering his nine inch long like i'd start to think twice about which cave i should be going in more it seems like maybe maybe a caveman helicoptering is like you're his target audience you know you know yeah maybe the helicopter the caveman wouldn't

even know what a helicopter is true he'd just be spinning that shit he'd just be spinning it maybe he would think what do you think it would be like there's no frame of reference to base there's no wheel yet there's no turntable there's nothing spinning a tornado i guess yeah it would be it would be a tornado you know a world i'm gonna do the tornado yeah dude i feel like uh i feel like cavemen already knew how to use clothes at a certain point. Yeah, but they don't have fucking helicopters.

They're like, oh, I'm doing the snail dick. What I'm saying is if a caveman has if cave people have the capacity to wear clothes then perhaps they know that some parts are meant to be kept private. I don't know about that, Mika, i they have clothes on because they're cold but what if like they just

like being naked or they yeah a lot of a lot of tribes still are fully naked most of the time think about it you're born naked so that's like the right way to live how you're born i guess that makes sense when like okay was it when did like people start clothing themselves not out of warmth but out of like decency and i mean decency i mean like like uh you know so yeah it probably wasn't thought about about it like that for a while but yeah who do i what do i know yeah like were people just being naked before religion or was it like a religious thing that was like cover up you know probably before religion you think i don't know covering up before religion like define religion because i feel like you know humans forever have

probably been uh you know they look at something they haven't seen before and they're like holy fuck like that was the act of some sort of deity i mean i feel like any kind of religion yeah then not just the abrahamic religions religions pretty pretty damn old i would think yeah dude you know what's nuts to think about like speaking of cavemen i feel like they probably had so much room for imagination back then because like imagine this it's pitch dark you can't see anything except for like the galaxies and the stars there's like zero light pollution so you can actually see like the milky way galaxy when you look up at the sky and there's like shadows moving around in the night and your

eyes are playing tricks on you people probably had like negative five negative five as their prescription because like no they don't have glasses they don't have contact lenses they're probably coming up with some wacky shit i think okay people were stupid dude like they didn't they didn't have iphones like they didn't even like know what math was and like i don't know like i figured that shit out when i was like five you know maybe there was one came in that knew what math was and he was trying to explain it to all of them but but then the guy with the helicopter dick comes in and everyone's more interested in him they're like woo

then they start caring see that's how that's how it works the people that bred were the hot guys with the big helicopter dicks not the math nerds I feel like the math nerds would try to like by the winners i feel like the math nerds would try to

measure the radius of the helicopter swing yeah probably and they're just like shut up dude you know it's a scary thought dude imagine if uh like cave people are as smart as we are today just like they had more free time yeah they probably had iphones and shit like realistically how much could our brains have evolved between now and like what like 20,000 years ago that's a drop in the bucket evolutionary speaking like what if a cave like what if we're just as smart as cave people we just have like more tools now i mean the world is so messed up i mean yeah our brains probably weren't much different from what they were back then you know we just have the technology

that we were born with and our ancestors were born with and so on you know like it's not like they were actually dumber they just didn't have as much resources yet that's what i'm thinking but anyway the helicopter dick guy was probably awesome to be do you think about how fun it would be like after a long day of work you got a big old giant sloth and you're cooking it on the fire and then everyone just starts helicoptering their dick around after eating a great meal it'd be fucking awesome is there a cave painting of, like, penis? Penis cave painting. You know, there's a hieroglyph of a penis. See? They knew.

Oh, my God. I'm seeing some cave paintings right now. Now, before you send this, yeah, think carefully about if this is something I can put on the screen. It's a cave painting. It's a cave painting. I mean, you might have to pixelate it but look at this it's kind of like high art it's in craig thanks if you're telling me that guy's not

helicoptering his dick around i don't know i don't know what he's doing i mean that thing is fully erect whoa that's huge and for some reason the animals are really erect that's huge. And for some reason, the animals are really erect. That's gotta be what it is. That's gotta be a wiener. That's a wiener. Like, that's not poop or something. Just a guy in four antelopes pooping out in the field. This really says a lot about society.

I freaking love cave paintings. They're so cool. What if that guy was a furry i think that furries are are older than we think man there's you know egyptian cave paintings it's always like cat people the owl people furries might predate man maybe we were furries first i think furries are pretty ancient as well you know I feel like for as long as time itself there has been an urge for people to become one with animals

I agree they had rock dildos that's so cool really? yeah dude I would have used a bone this is what I'm saying I feel like cave people are just like exactly the same as us just like working with less tools well i mean yeah they are i mean it's not that long ago

like our brains are pretty much the same how many years ago was this uh how old are our our homo sapiens like i don't know i don't fucking know. Like 10,000 years ago? Well, I know homo sapiens are very... We go back. No, they're older than that. I feel like we started doing civilization shit like 10,000 years ago. Yeah. Isn't that when we invented agriculture

like 10,000 years ago? Yeah, I think so. Maybe. We're really dumb, so don't listen to us. Imagine being a human that invented agriculture like you just cheated life dude it was probably fucking crazy that's like when the iphone came out for us man you know i feel like there's probably one guy trying to explain to everyone

like look we don't we don't need to kill animals and go look for them every single day we have all we need right here and everyone else is like no that's stupid and then he proved it yeah shut up dude shut up dude and then of course two years later apple stole that product and then released well if you want to listen to listen to us talk more about things that we don't really know too much about follow us over to the patreon section where the podcast magically doubles itself in length you get well it doesn't magically you have to get our hard labor it's our labor to give money we deserve more money give us more money money money we're going on strike just like sag after and you better give us more money yeah give us some money and join our discord server join our minecraft server get extra shows

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