Sleep Deprived Podcast - SCHLATT IS BACK! - Sleep Deprived Podcast #70

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

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Hey everybody, welcome back to episode 70 of the Sleep Deprived Podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Um, we, uh, guys, we, we messed up. We're really sorry. We're changing and we're growing. We will never, uh, ever explicitly mention what occurred on the previous episode, episode 69. But reintroducing Schlatt to clean up the mess.

Hey, everybody. What's up, everybody? It's me, Schlatt. Schlatt's back on the Sleep Deprived podcast, baby. Wow. I listened back to what you guys did on the Sleep Deprived Podcast, baby! Wow. I listened back to what you guys did on the 69th episode. And I mean, Jesus Christ. I mean, the way you...

Never mind. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Oh, no, it's fine. It's great to see you back! Yeah, it's great to be back, everybody. It's great to be back. We really appreciate you coming back. We told Shalette not to hint at what we said on the podcast, but you kind of did it anyway,

so it's kind of concerning. Well, it was brutal and unnecessary. Yeah, but you're not supposed to move away from it. Well, well, well, well. Moist, you have to cut this out. I feel like you keep coming back to it. We're asking you to move away from it, and you keep coming back to it. Once the people understand what happened, and I'll be dropping

little tiny hints throughout, they really will not forgive you. And I will be the one to retain full equity of this project going forward. Let's... I'm drinking boba boba balls. Boba

balls in my mouth. Dude, I had boba the other day. It was torah or the purple one taro so taro yeah i'm drinking it right now but it's old it's day old so that the little boba balls suck oh fermented bubble tea it's like bubble tea wine uh-huh i asked for extra bubbles and half sugar that shit was bossing. Yeah, it was busting. I had some... What's the name of the green melon? I'm having a brain moment.

Watermelon? Is it honeydew? No one said honeydew. I said honeydew. Oh, thank you. I had some honeydew slush with pineapple jelly at 30% sugar. Chef's kiss.

30% sugar with pineapple jelly? Yeah. It was real good. That doesn't even mean, man. It was real good. Listen, we're getting sidetracked. I had a genius idea I wanted to ask you guys about, okay? Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. So, a genius idea i wanted to ask you guys about okay uh-huh

okay okay so so i've got a business proposition for you guys so you know how logan paul and ksi are doing their whole prime thing and it's like an energy drink no and okay well they are they're doing their whole energy drink thing and it's flying off the shelves like like hotcakes and we're not sponsoring it but yet we're still talking about it promoting it what is what's with this mika okay i'm getting to it trust me okay so listen it seems like energy drinks right now is a very lucrative business however the problem is energy drinks do not fit in with our brand because we're sleep deprived we're all about sleep so what would be a genius idea drinks that put you to sleep benadryl do you want to sell do you want to sell benadryl is what you're saying

i'm saying what if we had a drink that tasted good and with and like you know it was like good and it put it like not it like knocked you out instantly. You just fell asleep. So you want to sell prescription medication? Well, you put it like that. No, but like it's like picture this, right? You drink it. You just fall asleep instantly.

Whatever you're doing, it's like five seconds. You're out cold. Eight hours. Five seconds? Talk about out cold. Five seconds. You're out cold. Don hours. Five seconds? Talk about out cold. Five seconds, you're out cold? Don't we want to keep them sleep-deprived so that they watch more? If they sleep, then, I mean, that's like a lot of time taken out of the day. Well, I...

Okay, it was a dumb idea anyways. I'm just kidding. It was not important. Yeah, I mean, honestly, after... Put simply, Mika, after what you specifically did last episode that I got the footage of...

Oh, yeah, the footage. Why'd you even record it? We normally don't record video. Yeah, he actually recorded it that time. I mean, it went everywhere. I don't know, Schlatt. I mean, you said... The... Okay.

Let's put it in the list. You don't need to list what was... But after that happened, after I saw the video of you... After I saw the video of you, I just can't take anything you say seriously. You're like, oh, yeah, I have a great business idea. Dude, you recorded that? That was like the dumb i have a great business idea dude you recorded that

that was like the dumbest thing i think i've ever seen like if you're gonna do something like that like fine go ahead and do it have it have a what do you mean go ahead and do it have your fun fine that's okay i'm pretty sure i saw you there too, man. No, that's not. No, listen. Go and have your fun. That's not what it is. Don't record it and then try and pass it off as episode 69 of the podcast. Of course, we're going to have to put the kibosh on that, dude. You know, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I saw you there too. Oh, no, you didn't.

No, you didn't. I thought I was not there. I thought I was on the left, yeah. I don't know if you remember this, Mika, but I left the podcast, and you guys begged me to come back after this episode took such a gruesome, grisly, deadly turn. I saw the footage, Mika. You can't pass this off on anyone else. You were the main perp.

What? Oh, yeah. Mika, you were a pimp. Ben and I didn't do anything. Yeah, I... I can't remember. Well, I mean, I don't think you guys are completely... No, no, we're innocent.

That's not true. Relative to what Mika did, I was pretty innocent. Why do you guys keep passing it off on me? Relative to what Mika did, the rest of us are not about to be tried for a crime. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Listen. I did no such thing. I plead the fifth. Oh, you're

like Trump. Yeah, he did that like 200 times. Dude, uh, yeah, so. I plead banana. I plead banana. Did you guys see? I plead banana. Is he a minion? Yeah. I plead banana. I plead banana. Trump minion. I plead banana. Did you guys hear? I plead banana. Is he a minion? Yeah. I plead banana. I plead banana. Trump minion. I plead banana.

You guys think he had anything, like, despicable that was found? Didn't he have... I don't know. Did he have anything despicable? You motherfucker. That was a good one. Maybe he had something bad. I heard he had the

nuclear launch codes in his house but that's none of my business i think it's pretty funny what are the codes what is a nuclear launch code you need to like put in a password does he get like a text message on his phone from like one of those numbers that That's like five. Yeah. Five digit number. No it's like. USB key. Your nuke code is 82009. It's just a text on his phone. Yeah.

They give him a sticky note. He just like puts it on his computer monitor. Like. The technician comes by. Yeah man don't forget. We left it on the fridge. It's on a fridge magnet uh it's on a sticky note here on your desktop just don't share it with anyone all right have a good he would so share with so many people be like look what i got look at this look at this i i tell them this is real i tell them it's real you can try yourself well i think

that's why he took it right that's why he took documents to flex it to show it off that's totally something he would do be like yeah like hanging up on his fucking wall like look at this i stole this from the you know you know how logan paul had like the charizard chain trump would have one of just around his neck yeah did they find anything at his at his place i think they might have but they're not stating what they've found oh so we don't even know if they found anything yeah yeah not yet but uh i i think the reason he took well the theory goes that he took a bunch of documents because normally what happens is the president out of honor of the last president will be like here you go man you get clearance to some classified documents but then uh biden was like no trump not you so then trump was like well goo goo gaga i'm gonna take this shit anyways and

um yeah i'm pretty sure that's what happened i kind of like that's what we are catching him for it's just like taking some documents. Like, oh no. Well, hey man. It's not that big of a deal. They got Al Capone because he spat gum on the sidewalk. Is that a joke or are you serious? No, man. He spat gum on the sidewalk. Yeah, Mika,

now that you bring that up, it's kind of interesting why you would leave on the b***h as well. Why did you do that Mika? we're uh I think we're straying to b***h with okay okay okay

alright alright so all I'm saying is I'm glad to be back we're glad to have him back Now that you're back Things like that won't happen again You were like the glue Holding us all together

Exactly I'm very sick, I'm ill You know what would probably help you? Oh, the fucking Benadryl drink You're trying to sell? No, man. No. And then five seconds later, you conk out?

No. You know what would help you is this awesome news that I think it was Panda just told us five seconds before we started recording. Uh-huh. Kung Fu Panda is coming back, baby. Might just be the best segue ever. Wait, what is coming back?. This might just be the best segway ever. Wait what is coming back?

Kung Fu Panda. Kung Fu Panda 4 baby. Starring me. A panda. Yep. You're probably wondering how I got into this movie. Well let me tell you. Dude what are they even gonna do?

Pooh? His name's Pooh, right? Poe? It's not Pooh. I think it's Poe, yeah. Well, Pooh, he's not that interesting of a character. Isn't it just Jack Black? Oh, shit. Just being Jack Black? Yeah, that's honestly all of his roles. He's just being himself. Like, that's gonna be Bowser in the Mario movie, too.

He's gonna be like, Oh, that sucks. Yeah, you forget about that? You forgot about that? Yeah, I in the Mario movie, too. He's gonna be like... Aw, that sucks. Yeah, you forget about that? You forgot about that? Yeah, I didn't want to remember that. I still like Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong, though. Yeah, I think that's fun. I think that's good, too. I really can't see Mario as, uh, whatever that guy's name is. Chris Pratt?

Yeah. I cannot see that. Like, is he just gonna talk normally? Yeah. Mario doesn't talk. I don't that. Like, is he just gonna talk normally? Yeah. I don't really see it either. What even happened in the last Kung Fu Panda movie? Because I remember one and two fairly clearly, but I don't remember three at all.

I didn't even know there were that many. I think I saw the first one. But there's a third? I think? How much Kung Fu can be had? I think I saw the first one. But there's a third? I think. How much kung fu can be had? I think he reaches enlightenment. He starts floating and shit. Really? I think so. So maybe in 4 he's

like a god. That'd be pretty cool. Just in creative mode. Yeah, instead of having to fight someone, he just bans them from the server. He moves them to a different voice channel. That reminds us,

that reminds all of us, of the party we had in the Patreon Discord server. Oh my god. It was pretty good. I've never seen Mika dance like that. Well, I saw him, that little jig he did after

at the 69th episode was a little rough. We're getting a little bit too explicit with what happened in episode 69. And I would really appreciate it if we could stay covert about it. Here's what we can do. Moist consensus for everyone else and the Patreon listeners, they can hear

what Mika did. They can hear that you fucking with pointing out of it like something out of DayZ. You fucking started with the

as the you did do that and then and then mika verbatim said i just did a thing right after and then the cops were right behind you and you went, they're right behind me, aren't they? And then he tugged on his collar and was like, this is awkward. Yeah, so why did you do that? Listen, maybe it's hold on god bless you all right continue mika uh well maybe at some point

okay hold on give it another god bless you all right continue god bless you let's just just hold up a little bit. Yeah, no worries, man. I think we're good. All right, well, I was saying maybe at some point in the future I can elaborate, but I don't think right now is the time. You're growing, you're learning, you're adulting. That's like the worst fucking word ever.

I'm adulting. Dude, I just thought the worst fucking word ever. I'm adulting. Dude, I just thought of the best word ever. Fladorable. What the fuck, man? Fladorable. Pretty good, right? That was pretty fucking good.

What does it mean? It's like the lady. Fladora? Fladorable? It's just it mean? It's like the lady. Because you know, fladora? Fladorable? It's just fedora. It's not fladora. Shut up. You're kidding. It's not called fladora. You don't wear a flora. It's a fedora.

Wait, you thought it was called a fladora? Yeah, it is. Are you... You're joking. Panda. I'm serious. I'm 100%... Panda, no. You're joking. I'm serious. I'm 100%... No, you're telling us you're joking. You are literally the purveyor of meme culture on YouTube, and you

thought it was called a flodora? Thanks for the title, but... I thought treadmill was called a treadmill as well. What? I thought that way for a long time. No, I just thought that's what it was called. Like, you know, Flodora, Treadmill.

I don't know. Why is it called... Oh, it's called Mill because it's like a mill, but... So, here's a question. Do you have reading ability? Can you read things? You know that one video of Lil Pump where he's like, I don't really read, so I like pictures. You like pictures?

Go on? Yeah. Yeah, I don't read. Oh. You know, like, in my entire life of being in the school hell system, I've never read a single book. What? I always spark noted and I never read that shit, ever. I always spark-noted. I never read that shit.

Ever. But you can read, right? Because you're reading the spark-notes? Text to speech. Did you read the instructions to figure out the text to speech? Yeah. So you know a good 20 or 30 words maybe yeah i know like a few big words like

astronaut and firefighter and and fladora i can't believe that that's a joke right yeah it's a joke yep it's a you were like i'm making this new word, guys, fladorable. That is so unbelievably awkward and embarrassing. Well, that was awkward itself, pointing out that it's awkward. That's the most Marvel thing you could have done, dude. You could have just let it go. That was awkward.

So, I just did a thing. Fladora. Come on, guys. You're telling me you've never done that with a word before? Not that bad. Not that egregiously. That's not even that bad, though. Flodora? That sounds like it.

That sounds like fucking Fedora. That's a major mistake. That sounds like the same fucking thing. It's way off, man. You're like inserting a whole consonant. It's an L! That's a lot of tongue movement! Floodora,

Floodora, Floodora. It's so much longer! It sounds the fucking same! It's one letter! I will grant you that, you know, the consonant L being like a liquid, it does have some semi-vowel

properties, I'll grant you that you could be forgiven you know because it could be considered a partial vowel rather than a consonant but at the same time it is a whole you know consonant and you're not even using it in like a syllabic even is a consonant syllabic? Did you say continent? What's a continent? I can't tell if you're joking, Panda. Dude, what is a continent? P.O., tell me. Oh my god.

So, um... So, it's actually a consonant. Yeah, what is that? Yeah, so a continent is like... Cats that are incontinent. Oh, like Pangea. They can't... No, no.

No, if a cat is incontinent, he's not in a continent. He shits everywhere. He can't control his bladder so that's what i was gonna say like a land mass no that's consonant oh you mean like the table of contents no so like oh constants no no no so like a consonant is like uh you're constipated mika oh that makes a lot of sense oh no, no. I'm talking about compliments, dude. Like, you know, you tell someone that they look good. So the Constitution was signed in 1787.

You're thinking of the Declaration of Independence. Wait, what are you decorating? We're not talking about compliance? No, because we'd be in trouble if we were talking about compliance. Because we are not compliant. We do not really hold up to any of the tax codes or stuff. Which is actually scary because the IRS added like 87,000 new employees this week. Oh, yeah.

Do you think they're going to do anything? Yeah, they're coming after you. Me? Yeah. Why? What reason would they have to come after me? There's going to be a lot of people that aren't paying taxes because of what you did last episode.

Mika, I'm trying to save your ass right now and I have to put all my money into this. I can't pay my taxes. The cop walks up to the that Mika left on the ground and he gets a call from another cop and he's like, what is it? And then the cop is like, you need to see this

for yourself. And he doesn't tell you. He doesn't tell him what it is. You know? Do not call me awkward ever again, bro. You know? You know what's happening? Yikes.

Grimace emoji. Grimace? Sorry. Grimace. Grimace. Fuck you guys. I'm out of here. What?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, man. No, no, no. I'm out of here. No. We won't do another shit ever again. We just got you back I can't leave That was a really awkward moment though

That was so awkward Bro it's just banter It's not that deep We're not so different you and I We're just being silly We're having fun I say Flodora You say whatever that was

You need to stop saying fladora you don't get to keep saying that why i i'm kind of on the fladora train at this let's go dude language evolves it changes it does it does yeah i don't want to i don't want to be an old man yelling at a cloud i'm on the fladora you guys you guys have no idea how like you're changing my worldview by telling me this word is not how you say it like that's good this no this is ruining my entire perception of reality and i can't cope with that so i'm gonna keep saying fladora yeah if you gotta call it there's no l in the word there's just not there's just not an l well how come no one has ever corrected me before probably because you like never see a fedora it's

like a once in a lifetime like the the holy fedora man walks into the store you see that like once a once every three years they also might be a little embarrassed you know they might be like I don't want to like put him in an awkward situation I don't want to be in an awkward situation you know flood or right it's like if you say a word over and over again I feel right flora flora flora feel like a real word anymore. Fladora. It's kind of more fun. It gives me a

It sounds like how a jellyfish looks. Fladora. Fladora. Also, just Fladora has fed in it. I don't know what you guys or especially you, but that's not good. Yeah, especially you. Listen, guys, I don't think what I did is, like, you know...

It's not bad. I don't think it... It was okay. I don't think it warrants getting the feds involved. Then what does warrant the feds getting involved? Okay, listen. I'm going to move us along. We're dwelling on this a bit too much,

and we don't need to get into the details. Yep. That was awkward. Guys, we're all just awkward at the end of the day. We're YouTubers. We're the just awkward at the end of the day yeah we're youtubers we're the most awkward people yeah yeah have you guys heard of the rehearsal no no so uh so there so it's this show where this guy he he finds people who have uh situations that they need to like get through so for example in episode one there's this guy who needs to tell his um trivia group that he actually doesn't have a master's

degree so what they do is they they like reconstruct uh the trivia bar like detail for detail like a one-to-one reconstruction of this bar and he like runs through simulation after simulation with like paid actors of how he's gonna like uh tell this person he doesn't have a master's degree and then he uh subtly feeds him information about the the trivia answers and then he like rehearses meeting him and like guiding him through the whole process of the rehearsal so he's like basically masterminding everything and I was just wondering if you

guys have any situations that you would like to rehearse for the future together. I think the rehearsing you should be doing is with your lawyer Why is all of this getting put on me? You're the one who... with the...

Yeah. Vika, I saw you poke your fingers into the... like, putty. Like, a panda and I may have supplied the... No, we... Even if we did, though, it's like, we didn't think you would do anything. Like, we thought it was going to be for a joke or a gag

or a video or something. Yeah, it was just, like, it's like we didn't think you would do anything. Like, we thought it was going to be for a joke or a gag or a video or something. Yeah, it was just like another bit. But then you took it a step too far. And what do you have to say for yourself, man? A new text document says, I am the pinball man. No, you say it. What do you have to say for yourself, man? Oh, right.

Okay. I am the pinball man. Feed me pinballs. I mean the hungry hippo guys. Hungry hippo pinballs. Yummy. Hurry. I have eaten 12 hungry hippo balls.

What the fuck? Where did that come from? Delicious. Guys, we have a Patreon. Patreon patreon.com sleep deprived that i'm now part of again and basically uh we have a bunch of patrons who pay extra money for us to say shit uh and everyone who pays whether it's five dollars or more uh which is embarrassing if you can't afford by the way just totally you can't afford that uh then you don't get access to the longer shots and you really just shouldn't live honestly yeah well i mean no bad timing yeah that's probably bad timing

i eat microwaves you guys are never gonna let this go i told my boss that i think his bones would be like eating compressed pop rocks and one day i will have a taste. It's going to be haunting me forever and ever. What? Dude, we're reading the Patreon. That was an unhinged crazy message that that guy sent in anyways. Well, you know what's even more crazy? What's that? Russian Gabe said, who got the Zaza when it smells like Zaza? Wow. My gooch is a scratch and sniff skin sticker.

Says, I welcome the spirit into my home as I become a vessel and servant for so long as I live. Oh, great one. And Mika? Go on, Mika, say the name. F-word drinker. Oh, dude! F-word! That comes out of everybody's ass. You can say it.

F-word drinker. F-word drinker. I would like everyone to say something nice about my friend Kanye West. He's a huge fan, but can't access his Patreon account. Well, that's a shame. I love Kanye West. I think he's the greatest artist of all time, and I think everyone has a little bit of Kanye in them. He's all right.

I agree. He's all right. I gotta start sneezing again. Huh? Huh? Huh? Baba Booey! Baba Booey. Christ bless you.

Thank you. Baba Booey.