Sleep Deprived Podcast - SLEEP DEPRIVED ONLYFANS - Sleep Deprived Podcast #61

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

the boys talk about airplanes for 25 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody! Don't interrupt me! I'm sorry! Hey everybody, welcome back to Sleep Deprived Podcast, episode 61! Why does no one clap anymore when I'm clapping? I'm clapping, I'm clapping! I'm just doing a library clap. I'm not, because I'm different. I'm different and cool. He is different and cool and based.

Guys, this is episode 61, but it should be episode 69, because oh my god god guess who's on OnlyFans? Honestly, I thought it was a joke, man. Everyone thinks it's a joke too. I decided I don't have enough money and I need to take more of innocent people's money and so I opened up a Femboy OnlyFans and you can look at my ass for $10. There's nothing innocent about that, Astro.

You're not going to be... This is not you taking money from innocent people this is taking money from the literal bottom of the barrel they're great people i love the only fans people kind of a a huge play of you because like imagine having the confidence to pull that off. Like, couldn't be me, man. Could be, though. It could be. Yeah, you could start one.

Well, I mean, no, I don't really want to. I'm just saying you're very confident. You know what, Mika? I think you have a future in this business. I see it. Let's shift the conversation back to Astro here. I think we should all start one. We should all start an OnlyFans. I know.

But let's be real. OnlyFans.com slash AstroZist? Is that just you straight up just selling porn now? Is there dick? I'm not showing. No, no dick, no no balls but lots of ads asshole do you spread do you spread for me if i give you 15 dollars maybe for a little extra there might there could be some goatsy i don't know it's gonna take a lot though i haven't gotten

any messages like that but i'm waiting for like some freaky messages you know only had one guy message who was like, hey man, can we be friends? Well, dude, now you'll have to deal with a whole bunch of people sending freaky messages like how they do with the other creators on OnlyFans. Yeah, I can't wait to see some small cocks. Yeah, so what's the weirdest thing? I mean, what are the conversations like? Have you had any with your biggest fans? It's just people saying, can we be friends? And I don't respond to them.

Do you think any of those people asking, hey, can we be friends? Do you think any of them know who you are on the internet? Or are they just people who randomly found you on OnlyFans? That's what I'm also wondering too. Because I mean, I've gotten a, you know, not a ton, but a decent amount. And some of the names I just don't recognize at all. So maybe it's just random people finding it in the algorithm or people are too scared to use their actual name. Is the OnlyFans algorithm good? I have no idea. Probably better than a YouTube algorithm.

I don't use OnlyFans. Like I've never used it before until you know opening one myself so i don't know how this shit works would it feel better or worse if these people were people you had no clue who they were and they found you through only fans or they were people who had been watching your videos for like years and years and just never interacted with you until now they were like i'd rather i don't know them yeah just i get that yeah just five years of watching you getting to know you parasocially through your videos and then and then they're just like hey here's my cock do you like what you see oh god man yeah no it's cool though

it's sick i heard money i heard something about only fans the other day uh and it was that uh the the top models have like people who they pay who are like in these cheap countries that do all the messaging that's awesome so like they hire people to act like them and look at all the messaging. That's awesome. So, like, they hire people to act like them and look at all the cock photos and, like, send back pay-per-view shit. Oh, my God. Yeah. Damn, that means those people, like,

sexting just some guy in, like, Mexico or something. Exactly, dude. It's some dude, obviously, who's, like, getting to act out his Discord fantasy of actually pretending to be a girl. You hear that? If you want that and get paid, it came from us.

Yeah. I'm hiring. We should start a company that offers people to chat on your behalf. Oh my god. Honestly, that would probably work really well dude i'd give people the big like trust issues so like they wouldn't trust anyone with anything you just sign on all these big creators and you just talk to whoever you want but if you're not

really talking it's just some dude in india yeah awesome i mean i would feel like pretty awful for uh scamming people you know we're, like, promising them, promising them, like, a service, but at the end of the day, like, if, if, uh, if we could avoid looking at pictures of people's, um, sensitive areas, you know, like... Asshole, penis... Cocks, it's cocks. You meant to say cock. Mika, have you ever said penis before?

Um, I'm sure that at one point, like, for scientific reasons, I've had... You meant to say cock. Mika, have you ever said penis before? Say cock. I'm sure that at one point, like, for scientific reasons, I've had. Can you say weenus? I mean, like, probably not right now. Mika, weenus is not a private part. It's just the elbow. Okay, weenus, okay? Weenus.

There, okay. now can you say papaya uh where is this going man are you trying to like deez nothing what are you doing i'm trying to i want to i want to be able to clip the audio and make him say penis like in a youtube poop well now that you've told me i don't think i'm gonna do that. Well, Mika, whenever you say P, you're fucked. Just know that. All right, listen. I'm not gonna say that letter for the rest of this... Now the comments are gonna hold you to the...

Wait, say my name, Mika. Wait, what's my... Finish your sentence. What's my YouTube name called again? Mika. Mika. A handa. Wait, what's my YouTube name called again? Mika? Uh. Ahanda?

Oh, I don't think that's what it's called. I'm just going to replace that letter with huh. For the rest of this hodcast, I'm not going to say the letter huh. I mean. You just said podcast. You're fucked. No, I said hodcast. No!

Okay, listen, I'll say. You said hod? I said podcast you're fucked no I said hot I okay listen I'll say hot I said podcast I said I support my friend if you just said we got him someone edit that shit together someone edit and make him say penis I had good intentions I was gonna say like well well, fine. Since I've said it at this point, I might as well just keep saying it. But I was gonna say I'll say it if you give $10 to Astro's OnlyFans. Yeah, let's

all give $10 to my OnlyFans. If we got like every person watching this to give $10, you would have like a lot of money. You like, a lot of money. You would have a lot of money. Oh, I forgot to mention, our editor, Moist, subscribed to my...

Oh, my God. Did he? Yeah. He just, like, it was one of my first subscribers. What did he say? Was he the one that was like, can we be friends? Yeah, he sent me his and he said, hey, wanna talk?

Damn, you got me squeezing my stress cat. What? You got... I got a stress cat and I'm squeezing it. Like a real cat that you squeeze? No, it's like a... Probably hard to cat, you know? Yeah, what the that you squeeze no it's like uh probably hard to cat you know

yeah what the hell no it's like uh it's like a little orange blob that's filled with like squishy sand and i just give it a little squeeze and it looks like a cat it does look like cat but it fits within the palm of my hand oh wow that's cute i have a stressed baby oh like a actual baby yeah just punch it sometimes you ever like get your thumb and just stick your thumb in like mush it in the spot yeah yeah yeah looks like the fucking ring from elysium you can fill it with water and it's like a little pool uh-huh little fountain sometimes air bubbles come up and it makes a little spring. God. It's fine, they're like made of rubber, you know.

Yeah, they are. You can find them on a balcony, they'll bulge recover. Those things are indestructible. I feel like evolution kind of fucked up. Like, how is that the last place to like, harden? Is it where your brain is? Is it where your brain is? Yeah.

Like, that's the last place to harden. Well, because, you know what? I I figure like this is just a wild guess but maybe like your brain gotta like your brain has gotta get bigger so like your skull has gotta get bigger with your brain I just feel like that's such a severe oversight by god

well I mean they didn't have the internet back then what were they even doing they didn't know what they were doing back then was 9-11 before the internet what was the internet i don't know that's like the 9 19 somethings right not i mean the internet was technically invented in like i don't know like the 70s or something but yeah but nobody used that shit yeah no one was using it until like the 90s i would say do you guys remember going on mini clip and then like

literally 50 of the games were just your obama and you have like uh or you're like george bush or something and you have a gun and you're just like trying to rescue your captured wife yeah no i know what you're talking about. There were terror games, you know? Yeah. It was like training you for the military, like all the youngins. When you did well at the game, it was like, it was like, good job, soldier, sign up here.

Flash games were a sign up. You just went to GoArmy.com. I didn't play that, but I played Snail Bob. You know Snail Bob? Snail Bob? No, I don't know. I don't know what that is. Snail Bob is propaganda, man. What the fuck? Shout out to people that know Snail Bob.

Shout out my bobbers. I don't know, man. I don't know who Snail Bob is. Pretty big propaganda. Put this guy on the screen. No, don't put Snail Bob on the screen. Can you please not put Snail Bob on the screen? Can you don't put Snail Bob on the screen. Can you please not put Snail Bob on the screen?

Can you please not put Snail Bob on the screen? Oh my fucking god. This is exactly the problem of this country. The censorship nowadays. Can't say anything. Well, you can say whatever you want, just not Snail Bob. Please. It's a slippery slope.

Starts with Snail Bob. Goes to Bob Biden You saw him fall off a bike today What? He fell off a bike today Dude I need that Someone make an edit of the happy wheels music in the background

We gotta throw this up on screen Check this out How the fuck is he riding a bike i don't know i feel like they must have wound him up like a little like a little child child's toy you know yeah they gave him a shot in the back for sure bro how the fuck did he fall off of that like he's keep what's a complete stop oh my god he did what the hell is the easiest that's the easiest situation to get off a bike like he had he'd done all the things right he just couldn't take his foot off of the pedal so for our audio listeners what what we're seeing is joe biden came to a kind of perfect rolling stop it was like

actually pretty good form uh he stood still for like a solid few seconds and then he just started leaning over and fell. And then his brain collapsed. I'm guessing he had those pedals where you put your foot in completely and it kind of like glides onto him. So that you can pedal easier for elderly people. But his foot got caught in that and then he couldn get off, and then he just kind of fell sideways. Well, you know, it's a good way to go. He was around the people he loved. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Dying on the pavement. God bless America.

You know, let me tell you about pavement. Okay. Okay. Okay. Roads are something that I just hate with a burning passion because... Go on. Go on. Oh, I said uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, okay.

Because, like, the cost to install roads is, like, relatively cheap at first, but then, like, decade after after decade it just becomes exponentially more expensive to maintain them so like i think uh there was this study that showed like a lot of america's spending actually just goes to maintaining the roads and yet they keep building more and more roads and paving things and uh it's like bankrupting cities at this point so what so what do we do i don't know dirt dirt road dirt dirt let's get some let's get the romans back and they can build our roads because those fucking things last which all we need to do is just build a bunch of one-way tunnels like elon musk underground what's the problem a bunch of one-way tunnels like Elon Musk underground.

What's the problem? Dude, he is so smart. I love one-way tunnels, dude. He is so freaking smart, man. He, like, this underground system is genius because people can get to places faster. But, like, I've got a few ideas for how we can make it a little better. So, like, we've got like the end the individual like car tesla right um you know you're going at high speeds down there what if we put some rails just to make sure we could secure the car to something make sure it doesn't really like

you know doesn't like uh wiggle around smash into the walls explode you know yeah yeah and like what if like we connected some of those cars together so that it was like a bit longer so that like i don't know more people could like get to places without having to worry about traffic it just makes sense you know and then like what if we made it so that like those like cars were actually bigger so then like more people could use it and then more people could just be in the underground tunnels and save a lot of time and traffic mika you're so boring man the less the less seats that are in a car the more fun it is that's actually this is an objective truth the more seats in a vehicle the less fun it is airplanes are the least fun you clearly have never been on a battle bus

you cannot say that airplanes are the least fun they are they're the least fun because the whole process of flying is just is just terrible man like it's just the whole experience of of getting on the airplane doing the security shit oh it gets it gets delayed all it dude everyone i know who's been flying this weekend has had something break or go wrong or gate or like the plane doesn't have enough employees to run and so it gets canceled or something like shit's going down damn damn i mean it's funny you say that because i was at the i was at uniqlo the other day trying to find a shirt and uh yeah there was this uh this woman this like british woman who was like hey do like, hey, do you know where the men's underwear is? We lost everything on our flight.

Wow. Yeah. So, shout out to her. I hope she's doing okay. Trains suck. I hate trains. Trains are awful. You ever been on a train in America? They suck. I was on a train once.

It was fun. Well, they do suck in America, though. They do. And everyone's like, oh, why can't you just be like the Japanese train system? Japan is literally the size of one of our states. That's a good point. You think we're really going to get a fucking train that goes a million miles per hour from new york city to los angeles well you'd probably have a lot of stops in between but yeah why not

because it would be months and months of our patreon money to fund it it's worth it it would be uh it would be Snowpiercer. Snowpiercer? What the fuck is Snowpiercer? Oh, dude, Snowpiercer's amazing. Astro, do you want to tell them or should I? We can both explain it. Snowpiercer is a movie about how humanity has died out, but the last survivors are on this train that just goes in a circle.

What? How does the train go? It's a perpetual motion engine oh yeah some some scientific sci-fi bullshit and uh all the poor people live in the back of the train and uh they eat cockroach bars as their only sustenance yeah and they try to move their way up the train and as they go further and further up you know the classes get higher and higher and then there's just like one rich guy at the front who just gets to eat like really nice dinner this is like representative of like society and stuff

bro i soy jacked pretty hard when i saw it we just made like the best comparison to society i've ever seen man like this is kind of crazy if you think about it because it's real oh man hey guys i think we should read some of our patron messages sent in to uh to us by the viewers on our patreon patreon.com sleep deprived everybody let's do. Let's do it. Let's do it. We have a show after the show as well. Once this podcast is over on YouTube, you can come watch it, and it basically doubles in length. Wow. It's hot.

It's usually better, to be honest. It actually is. No bias. Anyways, our great friend Bill Clinton on Patreon wants us to say Bill Clinton did nothing wrong. I'm glad you said that. I'm pretty sure we've read that message like every single time we've done a message.

Well, you should stop fucking sending it then because he does it every time. All right. Mika, this guy wants you to say something. Have fun typing out that link. Yeah, he said so so astro took a screenshot of the comment and this guy naso the ultimate wants us to wants mika to say the word terrific in a certain way and he linked the video but there's no way to click on the video because it's a link it's also a google drive link like if i go to that link can

i like install a virus or something yeah you're just gonna spend five minutes typing it in it's just gonna be a picture of a dick okay really we can do some more while we're while we're waiting um winston tanius wants me to say. In my opinion Obama should pull a Putin. And run again in 2024. Because that is best for our democracy. It's a great thing to say. I think Obama could come back. I think he could.

Expugaloo says. I hope everyone is having a nice night on the pod tonight. It's definitely late at night when we're recording right now. Thank you, man. And we're always sleep deprived. And then he said, Except you, Shalette. I hope a plague falls upon your crops this harvest season.

I don't really understand why he'd say that. I mean, given what's going on right now in the world, people aren't having access to wheat. That's kind of insensitive, man. That's kind of fucked up. Yeah, what the hell, dude? That is fucked up. Who needs everything speaking?

Jesus Christ. Check your wheat, bro. So Darcy wants me to say, if you could so kindly recite to us your favorite passage from the Bible. And off the top of my head, this is very easy. My favorite passage from the Bible is Matthew chapter 18, verse 6. If anyone causes one of these little ones, those who believe in me,

to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung on their neck and to be drowned in the deaths of the sea. What? Wow, that's really inspiring. Just my favorite Bible passage, Mika, that's really inspiring. Just my favorite Bible passage, Mika. That's all.

I don't know why. Can you say it again? I don't know. You know who else's favorite Bible passage? A panda needs to say, I want to eat a big juicy coconut. Wow, you do? No.

You know who else? You know who else wants to eat a big juicy coconut? My mom! I love Muslim Man. He's so funny. He is good. He would freak the fuck out. He'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he would do that. FaxG says, you need to tell me I've been a bad boy. Subscribe to my OnlyFans and maybe I'll tell you that. Ooh, yeah, you need to pay 15 bucks for that, though. Yeah, that's going to be another thing. It'll be a little audio clip. Hello? pay 15 bucks for that it'll be a little audio clip hello hey okay yeah yeah I yelled it out. Oh, let's do it again. Do it again.

Terrific! That sounded like a dub for a shitty anime. That's kind of what it sounded like. Moist, maybe cut this part out. I have a genuine question. So... No, you can't see it. Okay, sweet. All right, Moist, censor that so that everyone can wonder what I said.

And let's just... We'll move on. How about that? I can't believe you said that, you fucking freak. It literally wants me to say, Yo, Momo, so I can freak my friend out. That'd be great. Fuck you with that shit. This is the same stupid shit.

It's like, it's my friend's birthday. Can you say happy birthday, Emily? Can you say happy birthday, my friend, Emily? It's never their birthday. She loves you. She loves you. Say I love you, Emily. Say I love you, Emily.

Fuck you for that. Fuck you for that fuck you for that why don't they say happy birthday to us it's our birthday exactly it's my birthday it's my yeah how about that yeah man frederick says i realize that i have no humorous cell in my body so i just want to say c c don't even say it it's not funny if it's not funny we don't we don't have to say it and then hoaxes uh says i love jacob't he said I love Jacob Sack the most paleolithic name I've ever heard, man. He looks like an 80s character from Stranger Things, but bad. He looks like he's dressing like he saw the show and he really likes it, but didn't quite get it right. Yeah, fuck him.

Fuck him. Did you see his wingspan, though? Can you send me a free link for your page? Or just DM me all the photos. I mean that. Yes, master. I didn't even pay 10 bucks. You didn't even pay anything for that.

I usually have to pay for that. Alright, boys. I think we're done with this podcast. Follow us through the next episode on Patreon. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.