Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #19

Episode Date: March 6, 2021

the boys talk about airplanes for 32 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. We're 19 episodes in at this point. I mean, what can our podcast do at this age? Yeah! Can we buy cigarettes? Yes. We could... Own a gun?

Own a gun. Can we do a lottery ticket yet? Can we get a lottery ticket yet? Yes, we can. Oh, baby, let's go. We could play Powerball. We could play Powerball. I'm winning the one million.

We could go to a casino so long as there isn't a bar, right? Did somebody just moan? Yeah, Mika, what the fuck was that? Did you moan? I heard somebody moan. I didn't moan. I was too busy clapping. Slap, were you moaning?

That was not me, dude. That was a panda. No, a panda isn't back yet. I don't even know why a panda's talking we canonically killed him last episode oh yeah young thug i think we've had enough with you i've had enough of young thug on this what's the problem with young thug you guys are thugging young thug on this part what his thuggery you guys can't stand the thuggery. I've had enough of you talking in third person. Yeah.

Want to kill him, guys? I think it's time for a change. Oh, yeah? What are you going to do to me? Mika, what are we going to do to him? I'm holding him right now. Hey, man, let go of me. You've got to let go of me right now. He's squirming. Hurry up.

I'm squirming around like a fish. We're go of me! We're gonna tickle your stomach. Tickle him! I don't like that I'm not- I'm not a big tickle guy. Tickle him. Hurry up! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him!

Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him!

Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him!

Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him!

Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him!

Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him!

Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! Tickle him! and put the feather on your nose i'm gonna drop him hurry up he's too heavy this is bad optics okay just kill him just kill just don't kill me again he's still talking i bash it in i don't know how he did it bash him again there it is

another one i'm gonna take this a panda seed yeah and i'm going to Kali ma through young thugs chest cavity mmm plans were where the a panda seed into his heart wait did you get a gun just to hit me in the head you can't talk right now you're kidding you're dead that's my god I'm a ghost I'm ghost thug young thug oh god. We got gug? Fucking gugs in the podcast now. God damn it.

We need to get the Long Island medium. Okay, water the seed. Water the seed. Just water the seed. Just water the seed. I was going to say I have the Long Island medium on speed dial for future episodes if you need them. Oh really? Wow.

I'm going to water the seed now. Okay, sweet. Oh, I can see him popping out of the dirt. Look at that. Oh, God. Ew. Hey, guys. Hey. Put on some clothes. Panda, you're back.

I'm back. What's up? do you remember anything no not why am i why am i in young thug's body oh you gotta i mean there's a zipper on the back just undo that okay so uh do you remember your name or anything, a panda? Uh, no. Because we do. Oh, we remember it. I think I do remember being petrified of people not wanting to know what that is, though. People not wanting to know what your name is? Stuart Wilson!

Stuart Wilson! Stuart Wilson, age 29, Lithuania. Oh, it's coming back! No, no, stop! Moist, cut that out! Cut it out! Moist lives with his guardian. It's coming back. No, stop. Moist, cut that out. Cut it out. Lives with his guardian. Lives with his guardian.

Wow. I never told any of you this. Works at Sears. Works at Sears, the failing business in Lithuania. Sears. How many work at Burger King? You've been working at Burger King? That's a lie.

You've been working at Burger King. You've been working at Burger King so much better than Sears. So much better. Listen to me, Stuart. We've been working at burger king that's a lot of working at burger king so much better we've been following you around you ain't no burger king you work at sears bro we've got he works at the last i'm gonna be unemployed soon i'm gonna be unemployed soon he's he he'd be working at the door at the at the uh the broken automatic door doesn't work, and he has to stand there and just pry it open for everybody that comes in. But, I mean, it's not too hard because no one ever walks in. When someone does come in, he's got to go,

hey, welcome to Sears. I'm Stuart Wilson, age 29, and I'm from Lithuania. But then the person's like, well, we're in Lithuania. I thought I was in Point Nemo. Point Nemo? What? Point Nemo. What the hell is Point Nemo?

What? The loneliest place on the earth. What? You guys not know Point Nemo? No. No. So Point Nemo is the point on the earth that is furthest away from all land. So it's in the water?

Yeah, and I was born there. How'd you get out? Like, how'd you survive? Would you just drown? I had to morph into an eel and I had to swim up to the top and then I became a pelican. And then I flew to Lithuania. Wait, you went from an eel to a pelican? See, this is a callback to the Young Thug song where he's like, we glide like pelicans.

Yeah. This is where it all comes from. Dude. This was the long con? It's gone in circles. You pretended to be Young Thug for an entire episode just to tell this joke? Pretend? That's it?

That's all we get out of this? Yeah. Oh, man. I just sniffed. I just sniffed. I just sniffed. Did you hear that? Ooh. My passageways are not very clear, which is why I bought a essential oil diffuser.

Oh, no. Oh. Yeah. I bought an essential oil diffuser. It was hundreds and hundreds of dollars. You got to get some shungite, man. Yeah, I would get shungite. Put them around the La Casa

But again it's just too expensive Vagite Shungite Did you say vagite Yeah What's that That's not what you said You have vagite and then Ash was like you got shungite

No I didn't say I did not say shungite I did not say shungite no i didn't say i did not say chungite i did not say chungite like big chungus i didn't say chungite hold on guys i'm gonna be right back i gotta check the new q drop oh the new q drop what does that what in the diddly do is a q drop we asked him to tell us what the q drop was before we started recording, but he didn't tell us and he's actually gone now. So I guess this is a good chance for me to ask my question. When you bought your diffuser and your essential oils, did you or did you not buy the starter kit and tell 10 other friends about your essential oils? No.

See, I didn't do that um which which you know it kind of gets rid of the whole point right because like if you don't you can't get the full effect if you don't tell 10 friends and get the starter pack and also sign them up to uh do the same program yep yeah um so i mean i So, I mean, I... Hey, guys. Could I... Do you feel yourself lacking spirit and juice sometimes? All the time, man. All the time. Do you lack juice?

Juice? I like the juice. You feel like you don't have much juicer in you? I got no juice. No juicer? You can juice me up. Boy, do I have the thing for you. I got this essential oil diffuser from this company, and I got juices that you put in

it in the water, and then it blows out smoke. What do you think? You like the smoke? I don't want no smoke, dude. I don't want no smoke. I know. You don't want no smoke. No, I'll take you up on that.

I want a smoke. You'll take me up on that offer? I want one smoke. you just got to tell 10 friends about it and then you're good hold on mika yeah no i told him i told him i can't he counts towards me well he's already gonna do it you know oh my god we just hacked we just hacked it bro am i just got two in one of a bidding war you just so three people can just tell each other Over and over again Why has nobody thought of this? And I'll put my VPN on

I'll pretend to be another guy Oh my god Yeah I'll be from Vietnam Oh my god I'll be Iceland Okay hey Iceland do you want this new smoke technology? You want to smoke? Yeah

You know what no you don't deserve it Okay. Hey, Iceland, you want this new smoke technology? You want to smoke? Yeah. You know what? No, you don't deserve it. Why not? I think I'm German. I think I have the German VPN set up. Hold on. I'm changing my VPN. Damn, I can hear his router. Your router's loud here i can change your vpn for you okay okay

i hate that noise so much man you know how you do it so well okay do with me i i can't no i'm not even going to we can try we can try i'm not doing it i don't like it mika okay astro astro i know you got this what i'm too embarrassed i don't think i can snarl from the snarl yeah what what vpn are we on right now i'm sure what i'm in America. Oh! Shit! Oh my god! That was actually really good.

That was a good one, dude. That might be better than pandas. I mean, Stuart's. I'm sorry, man. He did a good swirl. Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah, dude. I'm the alpha male dude i'm the alpha male i'm a sigma male we are on par no no you're a little beta male you're a little i'm the sigma

male i'm the quiet i'm the quiet silent uh that's not a sigma wait is the sigma male aren't sigma males people who have ascended through uh through all the waves unlocked the third eye they basically don't like they're just doing their own thing and don't give a shit about anything else right they buy essential oils they buy essential oils and don't refer 10 other people big chungite big chung a sigma male is the type of person to dox you, Stuart Wilson. Not because they want you to go through harm, but just because they want to. Wait, are you calling me a Sigma?

What does that make me? You're calling me a Sigma. I guess so. Astro is a Sigma. Mama Wilson didn't raise a Beta, so what am I? You're a Kappa. You're a kappa. You're a kappa.

Dude, I love Twitch. Dude, I know what I am. I know what I am. I know what I am. I'm a ligma male. Oh, my God. What does that mean? Get him.

Say it. Say it. Say it. Come get him say it say it say it say it what's a ligma male tell me ligma nuts we got him oh my god i'm more i'm more of an up dog male mika i look i fell for it too many times. I can't. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice. But I am an updog

male. I doubt it. I don't think you are. It's a new breed. So, you're a dog. Yep, not even human. Can you woof for me? Can you give me a go human can you woof for me can you give me a good don't love for him don't love for him please don't please love for him oh you want me to woof for're clear, you want me to like...

Okay, snarl. Go like... Snarl, but howl at the same time. Yeah. That's what you want. And do a 360 as well while you're doing it. A 360 no scope. Yeah.

A 360 no scope snarl howl off gibraltar you want like the overwatch map 180 backwards shifty okay okay i can do that um yy double double y ladder stall fakie fakie willie g willie g shot i can do that i can do that yeah all right all right here we go Give it a go Whoa 18th episode That's what you wanted right

Did you guys hear about Daft Punk Yeah It's not funny it's sad It's not funny there's nothing funny about it Did you guys hear about Daft Punk? Yeah. Yeah, I heard about Daft Punk. It's not funny, it's sad. It's not funny, there's nothing funny about it. I miss Thomas Bangalter and Guy Manuel de Homem Cristo. What? Those are the worst names I've ever heard.

Those are their names? Those are their names. Bro, they're lucky they went with Daft Punk, holy shit. Technologic. Techn shit. Technologic. Technologic. Technologic. I kind of miss how they looked like Among Us characters. Damn.

They were ahead of their time. It's not, I mean, it's not too bad, right? I mean, because once they're gone gone you leave room for another techno disco duo to uh take their place you know oh maybe even an industry plant perhaps an industry planted duo with weird french fucking names what about a quadruple a quadruple? Yeah, I'm just throwing that out there. I don't know. Quadruple? With one person from Lithuania. Right. You get Stuart Wilson in on there.

What do you get when you get Stuart Wilson and a bunch of other insane little people? Are you calling Lithuanians little? What the hell, man? No, I'm calling you guys little. What? I'm taller than you.

I'm not little. Okay, okay. Schlatt's big. We're all taller than you. I'm big. We're literally all taller than you. I'm 6'3". How tall are you? Mika, how tall are you?

I'm 6'1". Yeah. Ooh. Not bad. I gotta say, not bad. I'm six foot. Ooh. Ooh.

Wow. Getting down there. Now, say, not bad. I'm six foot. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Getting down there. Now, Appendix, say your height. Say it. So, uh... Stewart? Sneeds, feed, and seed. Am I right? He's scared to say it. What? I'm not scared. He's scared to say it.

He's 5'7". I am not five seven five seven not too tall not gonna lie uh i'm almost a foot i almost got a foot on him i mean what's your industry plant guys what's your daft punk industry plant let's think about this well one of them's got to have like anime hair to appease all the weeaboos. Of course. I can do that. They have to start each song with like a anime character quote. Like a little soundbite.

I will be the best! Yeah, and then the hard techno starts. Technologic. Technologic. Technologic. Hard it. Break it. Beat it. Unlock it. All your base belongs to us. and technologic. Hard it, break it, bed it, boot it, feed it, bod it, unlock it, eat it, bod it, eat it.

We're pretty good at this. What is the group called? Wait, hold on. We got the first person, right? He's got anime hair. That's me. Who's the next guy? Twitch streamer. We get Nick Merckx. Or like Ninja. twitch streamer we get

like nick marks or like ninja we get ninja we get ninja we get ninja on the podcast and he's just flossing the whole time that's good actually they only perform on new years eve

they like that i'm not seeing enough movement he'll be the hype man god actually character i'm i'm glad we mentioned ninja because uh ninja's actually on the podcast tonight uh so we can turn the title and thumbnail hello ninja we put him in the basement can you hear him he's oh yeah he's i mean he I mean, he's away from keyboard tonight, but... I mean, he's in the Discord call. He's in the Discord.

Don't worry about what that means. I'm gonna go shut him up real quick. Yeah. Ninja goes monkey mode when he's tied up. Who would have thought? Why? You know what I'm like? Oh!

Not enough movement i'm glad we got ninja here because we can use them for clickbait um because our episode with slime circle did well but this also means we have to canonically kill ninja uh next episode so do we want to like it's true you want to like theorize how we're gonna do that like in full detail yeah no um mixed mixed response to that one i feel like we've gotten away from the point of today's podcast which is our new daft punk i'm the got ninja who will die next week during the show we should probably legally disclose that this is not the Ninja that everybody knows, but a different one.

Yeah, we never said it was Tyler Blevins. It was just Ninja. No, we're not killing Tyler Blevins. We should hang Ninja on a cross. We just perform. we take a crucified dead ninja yeah yeah it's on the stage just like watching above us we drop him from above slowly he's like a disco ball yeah oh fuck that's terrible you see him trying to floss oh my god we just hear it we're just here during the song you just got enough

movement oh man that's terrible why would we do that to him? Yeah, we don't have to do that. That'd be awful. Maybe we'll do that next time. Alright, third member of Daft Punk. Let's go. Who's the Twitch streamer? Okay, so we have Ninja, we have Mia's anime.

Mika, who are you going to be? So wait, I'm a Twitch streamer? No, that's Ninja. Okay, gotcha okay gotcha gotcha we can hang you up there too if you want no I don't want to do that they can all be on crosses

somebody has to pick them up to move them around cause they're all in a cross. Oh, my God. That's so dumb. Wait, okay. Skip me. I still need to think about it.

What about you, Stuart? What are you going to do, Stuart? Okay. I would be a very small little rabbit minion type creature. What the fuck? And my voice would be like. During the show, he self-crucifies himself. Wait, the minion?

We should crucify the minion. Fucking hammers his own arm into the wood. God damn it. I want to be just a dude who gets up on stage and just starts jerking off. Oh. With my cool helmet. Wait, nothing else? Just the helmet?

Yeah, just jerking off. And then when the music goes harder, faster, stronger, that motivates me. Oh my god. Just start jerking. My dick just gets harder and harder. And then we put you on the cross. Okay, so Mika, what are you going to be?

Why is this episode called Crucifixion? I don't get it. I don't get it. This is so fucking dumb. I'd be a mechanical keyboard. What? What? Like, that's it. I'm just a mechanical keyboard.

And then some Redditor walks up and just, like, types on it, and he's like, these aren't holy pandas lubed. You need a split space bar on these holy pandas or else the lubricant doesn't quite give you the same mouthfeel. Are those Cherry MX blues or reds?

Because I think the browns are better. I don't like the tactile. He's breathing really hard. I don't like the tactileness of the blues, but I prefer the soft, subtle bump of the browns. What?

You haven't spent $500 on a keyboard you haven't built? You haven't soldered your own keyboard? I have custom keycaps. That's his cousin. Just like some renter. It's not about the money.

It's about the lubricant. Dude, I bet Joker would browse Reddit. It's about building a mechanical keyboard. Yeah, and then he crucifies himself. Oh, jeez. Yeah, and then he crucifies himself. Oh, jeez. Wow, that's just not funny. There's nothing funny about crucifixion.

Kill, fuck, marry. No, we're not doing this. Okay, yeah. We're going to do kill, fuck, marry. Yeah, we're going to do that. Okay, I're not doing this. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to do Kill Fuck Mary. Yeah, we're going to do that. Okay, I got one. Yeah? No, don't say it.

Kill Fuck Mary. Don't say it. Big Chungus. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Harambe. Ugandan Knuckles. Oh, my fucking God. I would fuck Big Chungus.

Yeah, I would as well. He's got those Chungus love handles and I want to hold on to them. Oh god. Oh look, man, I'm not fucking Ugandan Knuckles. He's annoying. He's annoying. He's not annoying. What do you mean?

I would kick him. He gave me a lot of money. I'd probably marry i marry gun knuckles i would probably marry harambe i think that's a good thing i think he's the lover of the bunch well he just he's an angel can i say something the other day on stream a panda and i were talking i'm starting to believe that a panda doesn't know the English language. Wait, you guys stream? Yeah, we stream together. We're kind of the best duo on Twitch.

Where can we tune in? Twitch.tv slash AstroSys. Twitch.tv slash AstroSys and Twitch.tv slash a panda. Yeah, we're the best duo on Twitch. How often do you stream? All the time. Every day, 24 hours. Wow, people should follow you.

Yeah, both of us a lot. And give you money. Yes, yes. Yeah, a lot of that. We were hanging out and he said of that but we were hanging out and he said he said that and we're making out we're like he said he said that we were what the fuck he said that we were fornicating and i said what we're not having sex and he said no fornicating like fabricating he thinks that fornicating means fabricating it does it doesn't mean that. It does. It does not mean that. It does. In a way. It means sex.

Go easy on him. Like, English is his second language probably. It's true. He's Lithuanian. True. I forgot about that. Yeah. Well, we're fornicating then.

We can fornicate. My first language was goblin. What does that mean? Yeah, what? It's like. My first language was C++ and it goes something like c out greater than greater than c++ saying hello world system.out.println

i'm coming at the rocket nothing you can do can stop it. I'm in your lap and in your pocket. Hey, you're gonna shoot me down when I got the rocket. Your cortex just doesn't impress me. So go ahead, try turning test me. Stop it, man. You see too much of the next bit. I thought you could do it. Let's see if you can stop it. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. Different from the days of bothoth as the Vista. That's what the Terminator told you. Who won?

Who's next? You decide. You decide. Rock on, Mothball. Pick, rock, paper, scissors. This is a clip for our Sleep Deprived Vivo channel, which is real. I saw that.

Yeah, who made that? Shout out to you. What the hell is Sleep Deprived Vivo? Someone goes through our episodes and clips when we make a rap or a song and they put it on that channel. What? That's actually really funny. That's awesome. Guys, subscribe to that channel.

We don't run it, though. We don't run it. Actually, maybe. Maybe we should hijack it. Maybe we should do some hacking. For every view that you give, you have to give all of us a dollar. You know what? We've had this beautiful idea.

We're actually going to start a cult around investing in index funds actually so we're gonna sell some courses right some courses we're gonna sell yeah well it's a money-making scheme okay sorry dude you're not i know i can try okay look here's my here's my thing when it comes to investing advice online everybody says oh, oh, this isn't financial advice. I was going to say that. That's some pussy shit. That's some pussy shit. I was going to say that.

Listen, I don't trust anybody online who gives investing advice unless they're trying to sell me a course as well, right? If they have a course, that's how you know they're legitimate. So I say we start a course. Why is it silent? Why are you guys not making any noise is it because if they're selling a course then they have a product that they want to entice you to so they need their advice to be good what like why why do you only trust the people that sell a course

oh okay yeah because that means they know enough that That means they know a lot, so they put it in a course. I also only trust people that sell courses. Yeah. So we're going to sell a course on that note. We're going to sell a course, and all the course will say is buy index funds. Yeah. Okay. That's genius. The sleep-'ve been this fun yeah Stuart told

me recently that he invested in index funds and how's that going for you going quite well you know I have a mansion in holy what nice dude yeah let's put that up guys Lithuania Point Nemo, Germany, Iceland. Those are all our VPN locations. That's crazy. You guys can come by anytime. Dude, aren't you glad you dropped out of high school to invest in the stocks? Yep.

Wait. Oh, shoot. They found you you've been selling too many scam courses it's not a scam it's not a scam it's not it's literally not a scam we could tell that we literally could put a sentence behind the paywall and all it would say is invest in index funds. And it wouldn't be wrong. I mean, tell that to the police. Damn, they're going for it. Yeah, they found it already.

That was quite a fuck. Can't get away with anything these days. Nope. You know, the other day, can you stop? What? that was really rude did you just sorry i was uh let's try and forget about that let's just put it past us all right so the other day stop doing that jesus christ what the hell man god i'm trying i'm trying to say the other day i i can't i can't we're done we're done i'm getting this close to just saying baba buoy and ending it all okay get this thought across day i was trying to sell stewart wilson a green card and he bought it from me for twenty thousand

dollars and i gave it to him and it was literally just a green slip of cardboard. And he did. He did do that. Why are you laughing? You got scammed. Yeah. See, it's just what happens when you make all your money on stocks. You can just afford to fall to schemes like this time and time again, Stuart. And it wasn't even to live in the United States of America. It was a green card to spend on V-Bucks.

Yep. I told him if he gets this green card, he can have as many V-Bucks as he wants. And he just fell for it. I did. He's right. I did. And that's why you're a Kappa male. Dude, I thought we already established that I'm a Suggma male. No, you're a kappa male dude i thought we already established that i'm a

sugma male no you're a ligma male no i'm a sugma male i'm sure you're a sugma male now you changed it you can no you guys i'm sure you guys are a little bit curious what is sugma alice no, man. I'm a Sugandese man right now. I'm a Sugandese male. Oh, a Sugandese. You know, I don't think I've heard of that one before. Yeah, I bet you haven't. I'm a Joe male. I'm a Joe male male oh man someone's gonna find this on youtube like 20 years later when it hasn't gotten a view in a

like a decade and they're gonna be like joe male all right shout out to joe in california shout out to Joe in California. Shout out to Joe in California. Yeah. Baba Booey. Baba Booey. Baba Booey. Wait, before we end it. Hey, what? You can't just butt in like that.

When the first Baba Booey comes, that's it. That's the middle of Baba Booey. But it's really important. Like, weren't we supposed to talk about, like, how much you hated Discord? Oh, fuck that. Next episode. Baba Booey. Baba Booey. Baba Booey. Baba Booey. important like weren't we supposed to talk about like how much you hated discord oh fuck that next episode baba booey