Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #21

Episode Date: March 20, 2021

the boys talk about airplanes for 35 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. It's episode 21, and you know what that means. 21, 21, 21, 21. This makes perfect sense why no one listens to the podcast anymore. Our ratings are going down, they're tanking, we have nobody watching the podcast anymore, and this is why. This is because I can't get a word in without you guys playing some. Mika's got some soundboard every other episode.

He plays MP3s more than he even talks. What the heck? You can't. What the heck? What's up, Bluestone? All we need to do is get our MLM scheme set up so that everybody in the comments sends the podcast to 10 of their friends. It's perfect. It's true.

No, we should have them send it to 21 of their friends because it's episode 21. 21. You stupid. I'm not. Yo, do a Joe Biden impression. Make him say that. Will you shut up, man? Yeah.

What's nine plus ten, Joe Biden? 21. This is just some random old man impression. I don't even know what Joe Biden sounds like. I don't even watch him. 21. 21, man. Malark, you know, he would get that question wrong.

I knew a guy called Corn Pop. Have you seen my leg hair? We're going to Myrtle Beach. I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? Did you make that up? No, no. Old people go there, and then they rot and die.

Oh, like Florida. Finally. Did you say like Fortnite? it's probably in florida no it's in it's in the carolinas somewhere i think or something florida's cousin yeah it's i mean you get there either way you just got to go south you know the armpit of america that is not true i thought i thought that's what they called pittsburgh oh, wait, Pittsburgh, like pit, like normal pit. No, because there's a lot of pollution and in general the city is

very dirty. Oh. Yeah, it smells like shit. Sounds to me like they should really clean up their act. 21? 21? You know! Oh.

Who was that? Hey grandpa No go on Schlatt sorry to interrupt No it's No It's alright It's okay old man come on here sit down Here's a glass of warm milk

Will you shut up man The answer is 18 Wait Donald Trump's in this old fuck's home? Joe Biden's old rogue. It's 18. It's 18. Trump, where have you been, man? You haven't been on the news.

I tell Joe Biden every day, it's now 21, and he doesn't listen. He doesn't listen. I feel like Joe Biden smells like fish sticks. What do you guys think? I feel like he smells like the inside of a Nathan's. You know, the Nathan's. It's a Nathan's. You're just making shit up.

No, no, no. What are you talking about? Nathan's is a hot dog place. They sell hot dogs. Is it right beside Jake's, the place that sells pizza? No. How did you know that? Well.

Who the hell told you about Jake? Well, see, the truth is, I am Jake. Oh, my God. Wait, you're Jake from Jake's Pizza? Yep. I'm Jake from Jake's Pizza. Honestly, man, you gotta switch up the sauce. Well, shut up. Because...

Wow, Jesus. I'll fucking go to Tom's Hot Dogs or whatever. He comes from a long line of Jake's. They've been making that sauce the same way for years. We've been making that sauce the same since the pterodactyls were picking up little... little... babes from the ground. making that sauce the same since since the pterodactyls were picking up little little from the ground 21 listen nathan's is a real place and it had an arcade in it i think i think

there was an arcade in every single nathan's they'd have one and you'd go in there and you'd play the the air ski hockey or whatever and you'd get a hot dog that sounds really nice that sounds really nostalgic honestly better than jakes yeah better than fucking jakes yeah i'll have you know

my ancestors were around during when the uh the medici's were making medici's yes there's some fucking italian feels like it's more offensive to say it italian than than italian no straight up but yeah we were around since the seos were assassinating the medicis we were around since the Ezios were assassinating the Medicis. We were around since Blackbeard roamed the seas. Did you ever see Tony Soprano? I don't know who that is, but the point I'm trying to make is

I've been making the same sauce that my ancestors made during the Black Death. You know, they were in the pizza store, coughing up blood onto the pizza. Oh. That's the secret recipe, actually. It and nathan's could never put blood in their hot dogs so no it's against regulatory standards it's completely illegal well maybe grow up hey grow up jake i have a question for you yeah do you happen to know who jake from state farm is 21 anyone that's my secret a panda there's so many secrets first there's a lot of secrets writing what the hell i just wish someone would take what the uh jake dynasty does with their pizza and would just would just spit in my food all the time i want when i when i when i get food

i want you to take it out back and then spit in it like i just like i was just really rude to you or something you know you ever uh you ever want that like you for someone to spit on yeah yeah like the no like the part like the waiter just goes back into the into the into the kitchen with the food and he goes yeah you like you give the waitress a hard time yeah yeah the waitress she's like really hot and i. Yeah, the waitress, she's like really hot, and I'm like, yeah, fuck you. And then she's like, fuck you. A fat Lunky in my coffee. Yeah, and then she moseys on into the kitchen, and then she goes, fuck this guy.

What is a Lunky? What is a Lunky? It's not a word. I think you meant Loogie. Loogie. Yeah, you meant Loogie. I keep messing up words. No, that has to be a word.

I'm looking this one up. Lunky is. She hops up on a Lunky. I keep messing up words. No, that has to be a word. I'm looking this one up. Lunky is... She hops up on a Lunky. Lunky Kong. Balunky. Lunky Kong. Lunky Kong's power is just spitting loogies into your coffee. Oh, my God.

That's disgusting. And then the food comes out, and then I'm like, thank you. This is exactly how I want it. You know? Thank you. Thank you. And then you give This is exactly how I want it. Thank you. Thank you. And then you give it a nice little... Smells delicious. It's viscous.

I am so ready to bite into this five-star Wagyu beef. Thank you so much for bringing it to me. Hey, I'm sorry I was mean to you earlier. And then you're like, you you know I just really regret those things that I said you were the nicest person I've ever met and I want to tip you $5,000

that's how you really get them to feel bad about spitting in your food you just pull a fast one on them and start acting nice all of a sudden and then you still just like eat the spit food anyways because you like it. Mmm. You just bite into it and you can

feel that something just isn't quite right. Like the mouth feel is just... You bite into it, it goes like... Yeah. Oh man. Couple pieces of hair. Yeah, that's nice. Mmm. There's that crunchy part, it's like... Oh my god.

Crust. Some crust in there i fucking hate raccoons me too i hate them i i hate this social media trend of like girls setting their profile pictures to like raccoons or whatever the fuck other animals who the fuck does that this is specific. I've never seen a girl do that. These fucking trash pandas. They're beautiful creatures. Don't compare them. Scavengers with opposable thumbs. Feral beasts. I relate with them.

Ferrets. I relate with them. Like, what's the possums? Possums? Yeah, possums are cute. They suck. And every edgy girl will, like, set their profile picture to them and uh and be like oh i'm i'm like a possum i i'm like a possum name one fucking person who has done that at least one

person who's listening to this is feeling really embarrassed about the fact that yesterday they changed their profile picture to a possum i was like yeah i'm like a possum who is this person fuck raccoons they're all ugly beasts okay and i'm tired of they are the charade of seeing them on the feed on tiktok on twitter and pretending to accept them into my society explain yourself they're beasts i just did they wallow in trash all day and steal shit well and they go that's part of their charm i bet i bet that's how they sound would you eat a raccoon i would not eat a raccoon i'd throw it in the fucking trash and then let his relatives get him wow it'd be like that plankton family reunion where they're all just like grass

look around crabs that's weed it's weed yo that's the dream blunt rotation right there plankton relatives plankton's extended family nah dude they are weed Plankton's extended family. Nah, dude.

They are weed. Plankton is weed? Yeah, I think, like, plankton is the marijuana of Bikini Bottom. What? Absolutely not. They don't smoke plankton in the show. What are you talking about? You know how, like, the nematodes are crack? Well, like, plankton in the show what are you talking about like you know how like the

nematodes are crack well like plankton what what what are you talking about like if anything the krabby patties are crack i mean everybody can't stop no no no like the the this is no no no the kelp shakes are crack yeah oh that's true hold on a second the things that turn you green and like you just can't stop anyways but I'm like wasn't it confirmed that the nematones were a metaphor for crack and like all the Spongebob characters were metaphors for like

drugs and like mental illness what? I've heard of the seven deadly sins huh? yeah Mr. Krabs is greed Spongebob is lust Spongebob is lust? greed spongebob is lust yeah spongebob is lust yeah pearl he does have a lot of holes pearl is lust no she only has one hole spongebob is because he thirsts for squidward all the time. What's Squidward? That's true.

Squidward would- Depression. He's probably like Ego or whatever. Or whatever. Oh yeah, he is Ego. No, I think he is Ego. I think he's wrath. Ego's not one of them. It's envy.

He always paints himself. I don't know. I think he is wrath. Like, because he's mad all the time. Yeah, because he's like, he gets angry all the time. I think Plankton is wrath. Well, I feel like Squidward gets mad a lot of times justifiably, if that's a word. Yeah.

His life sucks. His life sucks. SpongeBob treats him like shit. Yeah. Everybody treats Squidward like shit. It's like that thing, that saying, where as a kid you always rooted for Jerry, but then you realize how much Jerry just fucking sucks me and it's and like tom is just like gotta clean up after him and you just kind of feel bad for tom you just kind of feel bad

for squid when i was a kid i was just like spongebob but now that i'm older i'm just like like Squidward. So true, Heath. Thank you. Licks lips. TBH true. This is such a TBH true moment. I just want to say, like, you're right. Squidward probably isn't Wrath, but I don't think Plankton is Wrath either, because he's literally marijuana. I think he's like meth.

You think Plankton's meth? He just fucking sucks. think plankton's meth he just fucking sucks wait it's just meth you know the bubble the bubble pipes in spongebob yeah oh why why can't a plankton just fit in there the pipe is the size of his whole body he probably has to like like imagine if you wanted to smoke from a pipe and you just had to, like, bring something out that was the size of your body. Oh, he micro doses. That's how he gets it. He just does dabs.

Yeah. I'd watch him do a bong rip. Wait, here. Yo! Yo! So what You doing plankton This is that illegal plankton That's kind of messed up dude

The back of chum bucket plankton That is a living plankton And you just killed them I'll do it again I want to know if I tell you a secret Will you keep it Plankton and you just killed them. I'll do it again. I Want to know if I tell you a secret will you keep it? Fight fight fight fight fight What do you guys think of that song oh no, I think it's fucking terrible If I get angry I'm gonna start up a riot like people on Capitol Hill

I think Anthony Fintano compared it to death grips. So he did to fill you in schlatt Machine gun Kelly and corpse made a song together. Oh, really? Yeah Can we get a live day walker yeah let's do it right so you want me to listen to you want me to hit play on it yeah can we get a live reaction okay put your motherfucker in the face and i see somebody talking with the mouth full of teeth i want a break go fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight if a pussy wanna say shit they don't fucking stop me facing no not getting better i can't change it i'm not brought out of payment i'm about borrowed time i can't shake it up I'm not out of payment. I'm about to borrow time. I can't shake it up. Blackout.

Me and these pills be on a fucking first name basis. What the fuck is this? Wow. I'm going to start up a riot like people on Capitol Hill. That's not Wholesome 100. What's the genius annotation of that? Oh, it was about the riot on Capitol Hill. I want to make music like that, man.

I want to get on a billboard. What's it going to take? Well, first you got to be really nice to everyone. You have to let Corpse tell you his secret. You have to keep it. before he stomps a bitch what if i what if we meet on capitol hill and then then we do some talking you know there's a fight fight fight fight fight fight i'd love to come i just got to record my among us 600 iq video first you're gonna record in the middle of the podcast okay I'm done

sorry I gotta go stomp someone's teeth in hi what's up what do you guys think of these corpse lyrics I think these are bars personally okay it says she sucked me and I do not give her bands I feel like twitch staff clip that and that's on cat girls are ruining my life Did he say poggers in there? Make a stack Pepe laugh Oh god

Make a stack Pepe laugh Make a stack Pepe laugh Oh god dude Make a stack Joker burning down Oh, God, dude. Make a stack, Pepe. Joker burning down his share of the cash in Dark Knight. Pepe laugh.

He had a cigarette in his head. Make a stack, Pepe. And then Bat Sages. Batman Sages. I was like, she's awkward. I do not give her bids. Batman. I bought a printer today boys Tell us about

Your printer I got a laser jet Okay It's the one that uses toner Instead of ink I think Because they're more Efficient okay so Ink jets use ink Okay like colored ink and stuff and laser jets use toner and toner is just black it's just black and white so you can't print in

in color but you can print many more per you know the amount of toner you know it's more efficient and also they're they're just cooler man i got a laser what what's that what sounds cool to you i got a jet or i have a laser jet dude laser jet big printer has their hand around your neck big printer no listen man i got toner i got toner for days all right that shit's a. You got scams. Nah, ink's a scam, bro. Ink's a scam. I think it's both a scam. They're both a scam.

You think it's both a scam? Yeah, fuck them. Suck my dick, bro. I hate printers. The ink is worth more than the printer. It's probably the same with the toner. No, well, they're both worth nothing. They just put little chips in it so that the printer's like, I can't use this one.

This isn't Hewlett packard i definitely think saying you have a laser is more cool than saying you have an inkjet yeah but like i have an inkjet myself and let me tell you when i'm in the skies with jet blue like i'm happy that i have an ink jet propelling what are you talking about they don't let you bring a printer on let you bring printers on jet blue i have no never been on a jet blue are you serious on a jet blue i have have you been posing this whole time because i mean no swore the secret oath that you've been on a JetBlue plane. I have been on a JetBlue plane. When we started this podcast in 2017, man, we both swore that we had been on JetBlue. What the hell's going on, man?

Okay, let me explain. We've caught you in the act, I think. In 4K. When I... Nice. When I was... 21 weeks ago when we made the podcast i had an inkjet printer and i went through tsa and they were like hey is that an inkjet printer and i was like yeah that's an inkjet

printer and they're like man i feel so bad for you that it's not a laser printer so you know what i would say that's true no that's what they would say yeah and then they like put me through the they put me through the x-ray thing the x-ray person stopped me they were like it was like i was like hey what's the deal they were like i see you got an inkjet printer i feel bad for you just get on your plane and get out of my sight no no shot they let you on with that no shot they let you on that's ridiculous bro well well i needed to print things on the flight oh shit what did you need to print print things on the flight what were you trying to print corpse lyrics you couldn't remember him. Make a stack, Pepe.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! I tell her, give me space.

She like, no way. That's a red flag, bitch. Olé. Bars? That's bars. No, I'm not gonna lie. That's bars. I like this one. Make more than your dad, but I know you wouldn't get that no i would get that

that makes sense wait what that doesn't make any sense why wouldn't i understand what no the lyric is make more than your dad but i know you wouldn't get that but i would get it because he's because you know his dad no because he's he's a billionaire. He's the elite. No, he's not. He did this with no label. True. It's true. He's not the elite.

I will say something that's really stupid I've been seeing is like in his Twitter replies, there'll be people who are like, Kelly Uchis got more streams than you loser. Like. Who's Kelly Uchis? Is she part of the Uchiha clan? I get it. Any Naruto fans here? I love Naruto. Can we talk about Naruto for a second?

Yeah. Do you guys like Naruto? No. Yes. Oh. Hey, fuck you. I've never watched it. Okay. I don't watch anime watch some of the plot in like

30 seconds without ever having seen it one two three okay well there's this guy five right and he wears a headband and he goes and then he does some well 23 24 to get a grammy on my balls twitch my nuts give her bands i feel like clip that 12, 23, 24. Get a Grammy on my balls. Pepe left. Twitch mod on my nuts. Give her bands. I feel like clip that.

This bitch finna give me whiplash. Took my fucking breath away. I'm finna take that shit back. Hinata? Bitch, you cappin' and you big mad. Big mad. I'm just fucking trappinpping getting cat girls and some big bands pull up causing havoc jack spidicey how i whip that make more than your dad but i know you

wouldn't get that but i get it i get it will you keep i get it but you get it see that i get it but he gets it i thing. I get it. But he gets it. I get it. But I get it. Well, I mean, to be honest, your Naruto plot summary was more disappointing than those x-ray apps you would get back in the day. Oh, come on, bro. The worst things ever. It was so bad that it brought you back to the days of those fake x-ray apps that you'd put your hand under and it'd like show a png of a skeleton you remember those fingerprint like you you get you and your crush to put the fingers on

the screen and it tells you whether or not you're compatible what yeah you don't what you don't remember that i've never heard of that well surely you you did the one where where you'd pretend to drink like a beer. You'd hold the phone up and you'd get plastered in algebra. Shit. And then you do the high frequency noise, which annoyed the fuck out of everyone and made nobody laugh. The teachers couldn't hear it, though, because their ears were

old. Old people. Let's talk about that. Good mythical Morning. Dude, Reddit and Link are old. I'll tell you that. Their ball's been tied up for years now. Reddit.

I didn't say Reddit and Link. I did. Reddit and Link. I did Reddit and Link. We're making fun of everyone's names today. Good Mythical Morning. I'm Reddit. I'm Reddit. So dumb. I'm Reddit. So dumb. I'm Reddit.

Who knows more? Rhett from Lincoln Reddit or Reddit? Wait, hold on. Who has more knowledge? Reddit or Rhett from Lincoln Reddit? God. What are you trying to say? Someone else, please make it.

Who has more knowledge? Link from Reddit? Zelda? Yeah! Isn't his last name like Mc... Donald? No.

No, it's like Reddit McLinklin? What are you talking about? Just making shit up. McLaughlin. Reddit McLaughlin. Copy-pasta. Reddit Mick, what did you just say about me?

Mick up, though. This podcast is too derpy. Shut the fuck up. I know, Astra, you're epic-facing right now. You're like... No, I'm awesome-facing. You're waffle-computering right now. No.

You're waffle-computering. I'm table-flipping guy. I'm sitting... I'm spitting out cereal guy right now. Table-flipping guy? Oh, man. I'm spitting out cereal guy right now. Oh, man. I'm spitting out cereal. What time does the bacon narwhal?

Okay. The narwhal bacon's at midnight, dude. You know where I heard that? Where? From fucking Lincoln. Lincoln Morty? Yeah. Lincoln Morty?

What? For Reddit, Lincoln Morty. This doesn't even make sense anymore. I don't understand it. Did you guys catch the new season of Reddit and Morty? Come on, Morty! We gotta get into Reddit! Reddit!

You've got to... Reddit meme. I don't have any upvotes left. You've got to moderate advice, Animals Morty. I'm going to take a break. Rick, that's an updo. I need you to upvote my posts on r slash all.

I heard Rick from Rick and Morty. They were going to do a Costco crossover at some point. No shot. Don't get me started about this. I saw Costco. I went to a Costco for the first time today. You did?

And it's just a bunch of... Coming of age. Don't clap, because I feel bad. I literally just bought, like, a two-gallon tub of balsamic glaze. What the fuck is that? You put it on a salad. I don't know why I bought it. That's what happens when you're really mean to the waiter. That's what happens.

That's what happens. A Costco to someone in Iowa is basically a Disneyland. It's this big excitement, but then you go in and everything's $12. I'm pretty sure they just make everything $12. Like one apple is like $12. It's bullshit. No, man. Costco is wholesale. You get a lot of apples. Everything's $12. Everything.

Yeah, but you get a little piece of it. No, no, no. Not a little piece of it. You got a two gallon thing, you said, of balsamic glaze. Two gallons. I went into the produce section, and there was shit like just like a couple kiwis, and it's like $12. It's like organic. They like grew them themselves in the back. Costco employees, they just – look, they're paid well, okay? This is what happens. They are paid well.

I do respect that. They got good benefits. No Costco employee has ever complained. You know what happens if they do? What? They feed them the hot dogs. Oh my god, that's how they make the hot dogs? They take the ex-Costco employees and they put them in a machine?

They churn them. They grind them up. That's why they taste so good. I love consuming the working class. Where does Nathan's get their hot dogs? I don't know. You think they grind up their

employees? You think they'd be grinding up their employees? That'd be pretty bad. They get Kirkland brand.irk wait isn't kirkland the costco brand am i mistaken well so i feel like if everything at costco is 12 dollars like don't they sell phones like couldn't you just go to the costco be like hey i'm here for my 12 dollar phone that's true i didn't think of that i should have tried it yeah but then it'd be an android yeah you'd get like 40 of them gross what the heck you can't say that about androids okay can i just say every time i post on our twitter people make fun of me for posting from

an android they know which one's you because it says Twitter on Android. I hate Androids. I spend $1,200 a year to get the newest, best iPhone. And? No, that's it. Well, is it worth it? No. Well? But sometimes the phones come in fun colors like aids red i love aids red

what what what that's what it is yeah wait what aids red on the apple phones they have aids red phones yeah you didn't know that it supports aids I didn't know that yeah it's what you buy a red phone it goes towards AIDS research okay rocks that's what Steve Jobs said no I don't think he does no I don't think he had that yeah i think he had oh no he had hey pear he fucking had i got a pc too bitch hey pear he had pancreatic cancer he had pancreatic cancer i remember that when he was just like hey apple step right in i got things to invent i'm an innovator baby change the world fortune 500 for you kiss the girl kiss the girl i'm a pimp you're a nerd i'm slick you're cheesy beating you is apt to easy i make the product i make the part of the artist i need to bring up some basic

i'm just a kid for each day i grow some more you blow jobs you arrogant I give away your network to AIDS research. Oh my god, it was Bill Gates! Bill Gates, Bill Gates! With mommy and daddy, I'm finding my way. Oh my god. Bill Gates gave his money away to AIDS. Bill Gates.

Wait, Bill Gates has AIDS? No, Bill Gates gave away money to AIDS research, is that how it goes? Yeah, I give away your net worth to AIDS research. Come on, all you little toys, you still can't touch that. I phone, I pet, I pwn, I smack. A man uses the machines I build to sit down and pay his taxes. A man uses the machines you build to get a virus. To browse Fred.

To go on slash P. What's slash P? Slash P? Is that what you said? Yeah, slash Peter. Oh, that's the 4chan board for Peter Griffin. No, yeah. Slash P.

I wonder if there's a subreddit. Yeah, a family guy board to 4chan. Lois! Lois! Peter Griffin green text I'm Brian That did not I'm Brian

Is Brian deformed and falling onto the floor? Wait fuck no that isn't Brian that's Stewie No I looked up if there was a Peter Griffin subreddit and there is Guys I'm gonna post on the Peter Griffin subreddit Can you upvote it? Sure

I'm gonna reply to it I'm gonna post on the Peter Griffin subreddit Can you upvote it? Sure Family guy funny clips I'm gonna reply to it Okay, guys On r slash Peter Griffin You have to upvote this Make it the most upvoted thing on r slash Peter Griffin Please do I just posted it

I just got an email User Asterisks replied to your post. Big Keanu Reeves. Cyberpunk sucked. Among Us highlights. Holy shit. Is that Chris? Is that Chris?

Is this an actual shot from the actual... This is... is this an actual shot from the actual this is oh yeah i love that image this was posted to the peter griffin subreddit with uh with with super peter as the title and it has 12 upvotes describe the image for our spotify listers super peter peter has his legs spread open but not enough to release his little snake and his upper thighs are darkened for some reason implying maybe that he was smoking out of his ew no i think that might be the implication. He also has a blonde pompadour and is spouting a master's degree in the background. Lois, I'm a Reddit snoo.

Hey, Lois. I think the podcast is over, by the way. Yeah. Oh, Schlatt, you're supposed to talk about reddit this time I mean discord we'll do it next time who cares bye bye