Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #34

Episode Date: September 5, 2021

the boys talk about airplanes for 36 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda donda episode 30 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah sorry what were you saying chelat hey everybody welcome back to the sleep deprived Yeah.

Sorry, what were you saying, Schlatt? Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast, episode 34. My name is Schlatt. I'm joined here by AstroZist. Hey, what's up, guys? That's it. AstroZist, we're the only two faced persons here.

We have faces now. You put your face. What's that all about? I'm profiling you. Guys. I decided to come out of my mom's pussy with a face. And now I'm here with it. And I'm showing the world.

And yeah. So what do you look like? I'm really hot. Really? Show a picture right now. And make sure to use the FaceApp version. Wow. Thank you. Oh my god. I'm shlicking.

I'm shlicking off. Shlicking? What's that? That's Shlogy's basic attack move. That's how Shlogy jacks off. He's shlicking. I'm slapping my knee. I thought that was what girls did.

Oh, you're right. Actually, it is. Yeah. So you're shlicking? I'm shlicking off. Well, I mean, no. I guess I'm not shlicking off. Can I shlap your shlick?

I'm shlapping. I'm shlapping off. Shlap your shlick. So you did do the face reveal. What was that all about? Why did you decide to do it now? This is the most serious we've ever been on the podcast. I decided to do it because I wanted to get more views.

Really? Yeah. Woo-hoo! Congrats. I'm raking it in. Did that work out for you? Yeah, my views went up tenfold on twitch jeez wow so i'm oh wait oh so you're streaming with face cam though i yeah i put my fuck yeah dude yeah people like i gotta

say they do and i'm gonna make clickbait thumbnails i'm gonna put 100 in big font on the on the thumbnail with red arrow that's big and Face. You're gonna Wojick? Oh shit, yeah, look at that. You're getting a hell of viewers on Twitch right now. Yeah. You're gonna content-aware scale your thumbnails now. And luckily, since I face revealed, now a panda

is going to face reveal. Oh, I don't think so. So let's see it. Here, I'll post put in a face and I'll pick the face of me wow oh wow okay

aren't I just hot I'm schlicking I thought this podcast was a bunch of men yeah I didn't know how else to put that a panda A bunch of... Men? Yeah. I didn't know how else to put that, a panda. Wow.

You are something. Congrats. Look, I'll address the elephant in the room. I was so lucky to be born with these big boobs. Holy shit, man. Knockers. You look a lot like that. Oh, fuck.

You look like, I hope this isn't awkward, Panda, but I mean, you look a lot like me and Malkova. Like, strikingly similar to me and Malkova. You do, yeah. You've got the same misshapen ass, too. Wow. You sound a little flustered, Schlatt. No, I mean...

No. You want to know something funny? The first nude I ever got was from Mia Malkova. Really? Just her big fat tits in my Twitter DMs. Oh yeah. What'd you respond with? Nothing. Alright Mika, your turn. For what? It's time to show your face.

My face? Yeah. Yeah. Hold on, I have to find it. Okay. Oh my god god this fucking guy and now we got a you know we got a whole fucking day i guess infinite time all right i uh i found a picture you want me to you want me to send it in the chat yeah yeah let's send it man all right here it is.

Damn, you fish. Which one are you? Are you all of them? Are you Sandy Cheeks? Why don't you describe what I put into for our audio listeners, I showed a picture of myself,

and it's the entire cast of SpongeBob SquarePants. Wow. You are multifaceted. I never took you for a Mrs. Puff. Well, I'm not so much Mrs. Puff. I don't really believe in Mrs. Puff. Oh. Which part of you is Mrs. Puff?

Because I feel like each of these characters represents you in some way. Which part of you is Mrs. Puff? Because I feel like each of these characters represents you in some way. Which part of your body or personality is Mrs. Puff? I don't believe in Mrs. Puff. We don't really talk about her. We don't talk about her. Never mention her again. Why is Squidward giving me the fuck me

eyes? He's really not. He's just kind of looking kind of like... Those are the you want some eyes, dude. He's looking sassy molassy, you know? He's looking a little... He's got one eyebrow raised. He's like, oh.

Interesting jest. What? No. What the hell? What? What the hell's going on apparently a panda says that squirt word's gonna have sex literally look at his face if you for the listeners his eyes is raised up and he wants he has a big fat penis in his hand we're not gonna show that

we're not going to show that. What are you saying? We're not going to show that. There are several diseases on that thing. And I can't believe it. I can't believe Mika had this on his device. What the hell is going on? Look, that lump looks like a star.

I literally don't even know what image you're describing because it's not the image that I posted. Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda, Donda. So, Panda, it's time for you to talk about Donda. Let's address the real elephant in the room. What did you think of Donda? Oh, my goodness gracious.

Donda was awesome i fucking loved this album and uh you did because he's the goat everybody knows everybody listening right now knows kanye west is the goat man he should be president he should be the president of the united states am i right come on guys let, guys. Let's go. Woohoo! Yeah! Nobody clapped. Mika, come on. You at least have to agree. Um, this is awkward, man. It is not

awkward. It's factual. You're freaking out right now. You're kind of freaking out a little bit. He's gonna be in the White House with a big booty bitch. And that's the only way I want my... No. Why did you like the album though like you're not answering the question yeah you're just freaking out like a because he's gonna be president and i and i love my future president but what about like did you

like did you like the songs did you like the music no mika mika he's going to be president dude 2024 you know the baby voted for him we're actually we're actually pleased to uh welcome kanye west onto the podcast he's gonna become president 2024 kanye what do you have to say about this george bush doesn't care about black people. Wow, Kanye. Well, I mean, Kanye, he hasn't been in office in like 20 years. Remember when he dodged those shoes,

though? Oh, that was sick. Dude, I fucking love him for that. Wait, George Bush dodged a shoe? Two of them, man! Two whole shoes! Back to back! Someone threw a shoe at him? Yeah, somebody got up, chuckged a shoe? Two of them, man! Two whole shoes! Back to back! Someone threw a shoe at him? Yeah, somebody got up, chucked a shoe at him,

and he fucking, like, instant reflex just dodged away as if he was a spry young man. And then he threw another one, he dodged it again, he, like, teleported behind him. Was it the Yeezys, though? I mean, it was, like, 2001. I don't know if that existed. No, the Yeezys didn't exist back then.

Was it the Jordan high-top fade F290? 9 or 9 or Delta Bravo? No. Yeah. No, I think it was. Oh, you think it was? Yeah, that was. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So, Mika yeah how was your day what so you're gonna vote for Kanye no no I'm not

we got one guy voting what about you Mika are you gonna vote for Kanye uh I'm gonna say no. Why? Slap. Level with me here, okay? Big guy. You're gonna vote for Ye, right? I don't vote.

I don't vote. Why not? I... What if a panda ran? Would you vote for him? No. Really? Not just to support your friend? Your best friend? I could run this country so well. What would your policies

even be? Dude, there's so much shit I would do. Like, first of all, we don't need school. School's so fucking useless. Who does their homework? I want everyone in the replies to talk about how much they don't do school. School's so fucking useless. Who does their homework? I want everyone in the replies to talk about how much they don't do their homework. Because nobody does it.

Nobody does their fucking homework. It's so pointless. We need to get rid of it. We need to get rid of it. Same thing with fucking vegetables. I know Astro eats fucking vegetables. Any sixth graders in the comments? Vegetables are disgusting. We need to get rid of those too.

We don't need homework. We don't need school too we don't need homework we don't need school we don't need vegetables my teacher is so stupid yes literally free free candy free pops barack obama made school lunches taste like shit i thought it was michelle obama oh it was her yeah fuck that i'm. I was thinking of... God. Well, what's wrong? Google Obama. You know Obama has a hospital named after him? The Obama Hospital. No, no, no. Look up this one.

Everybody look up Obama Kundu's Hospital. Okay. Wow, I'm on a list. Oh. Oh, wow. Okay, yeah, this is... I'm having a lot of fun looking at this. Isn't it great that we have this? This is so cool.

It's doing well. It's doing well. Yeah, it's doing really well. People really like this hospital. There's so much to like. We've been doing great things at this hospital. Damn, Obama. Hey, Panda.

Yeah, what's up? Could you beat Jake Paul? Dude, 22 people. Yeah, I could. Awesome. This guy's terrible. And I'm referring to Jake Paul, because I could beat him in a fight. How would you overtake him? I'd give him a wedgie, because he looks like he might just stop if I did that.

I think he would destroy you. I don't think so, actually. I think I'd give him a big ol' wedgie, and then I'd slap consensually his big ol' butt, and he'd start crying. Speaking of wedgies, Shlod, I heard you got new pants. Yeah. All right. Before we started recording, I was just buying pants. This is awesome. I hit the purchase button, I just said I just bought pants

I did not expect Mika to fucking bring that up But if you must know I was on oldnavy.com And I bought a pair of pants What? What? What time did you purchase these pants at? Like what time approximately? Like 20 minutes ago

Okay why? explain yourself freak i wanted pants okay jeez man what the hell what kind of pants are we talking like what kind of are they oh my lord what what is going on no sweatpants bro were sweatpants, bro. Cut it out, Mika. Cut it out. They were sweatpants. Yeah. Wait, you bought... Hold on. You bought sweatpants?

Yes. Okay, wait. Now we need to talk about... You fuckers are crazy. Donda, donda, donda, donda. Donda, donda, donda, donda. Donda, donda, donda, donda. Donda, donda, donda, donda.

Donda, donda, donda, donda. Donda, donda, donda, donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. This is going to get a copyright strike because of that no as long as we don't do it for more than 30 seconds in a row we should be good i mean apparently drake is dropping a new album on fr. I looked at the cover. It looks really corny and just bad.

Oh, that's the one with the fucking pregnant emojis? Yeah, so it's basically the album is called Certified Lover Boy. And then it's just pregnant women emojis. Wait, Drake is pregnant? No, the album cover has women that are pregnant as an emoji. Drake makes women pregnant. You know what also makes women pregnant? Manscaped.

Your balls. Your nutsack. When it smells as good as it does with Manscaped's ball toner. Yes! That's right, gentlemen. Today's episode is sponsored by Manscaped. Again! They came back to us because, you you know they came crawling back on all

fours because they just they got a whiff of my fat fucking nutsack and they're like oh my god what's he wearing and then i'm like i'm wearing your bald toner yes bald toner oh bro listen today uh you know it's back to school time everybody We want to make sure you're packing the essentials you have. You need to get the best year yet, especially if you're going off to college. You're doing your own thing. You need some grooming because God knows mommy's not cutting your pubes anymore, you know? It's important. You got to be doing that shit yourself.

And, I mean, what's the better way to do it than with a manscape product manscape's got a bunch of new products they get the lawnmower 4.0 they sent it to all of us now we have it uh it's it's fantastic i i used it uh i used it every day we replaced it i replaced it with the 3.0 that I previously had. I'm using it right now. He's using it right now on his nuts, on his fat, big, luscious, succulent nuts. Yes. Sorry, just loving this right now. And listen, do you hear him nicking his balls? No, I can't hear a thing.

Did you hear AstroZist cut his balls? Oh, no, that was sorry. I fell over. He just fell over. He didn't cut his balls open? Oh, no, sorry, I fell over. He just fell over. He didn't cut his balls open. That wasn't the nut trimmer. No, the nut trimmer's doing fine, because you know what? The nut trimmer features a cutting-edge ceramic blade

to reduce grooming accidents thanks to their advanced skin-safe technology. Whoa! It also allows you to shave your pencil down. What is that in the brief? That one's for a panda because he's got a small little dick. It allows you to shave. Donda, donda, donda, donda, donda, donda. The Lawn Mower 4.0 also has a 7 000 rpm motor a new multi-function off and on switch can't that

it enables a travel lock so you it's not turning on when you're on the airplane going to college leaving all your folks and it's got a spotlight on it a fucking spotlight it's good actually they call it a spotlight it's just an led it's one LED. But it's a 4000K LED. But holy shit, if you needed to, you could light up a prison yard with it and find the guy who's trying to run away. Don. Did I mention the shiver is waterproof, too? What? Oh, my God.

You didn't mention that. No, I didn't. You mean I can drink while using it? Yeah, you can. Basically, we're plugging the performance package 4.0 it's got it's got the trimmer it's got the weed whacker which is their uh ear and nose hair trimmer which i also use it works whacking they got bald deodorant they got bald toner that you spray on your nuts when you're about to get sucked uh it works well my girl likes it plus two free gifts performance boxer briefs and the shed travel bag which is basically just like a little leather bag that uh

takes all your stuff while you travel i use that all the time as well uh well thank you guys so much for sponsoring today's episode you can get 20 off plus free shipping with the code sleep deprived at manscaped.com. That is 20% off plus free shipping with the code sleep deprived at manscaped.com. Gentlemen, we hit ROI last episode. That's why these guys are working with us again. It is super kind of them to be supporting the boys as our podcast continues. I mean, that was the whole goal, you know, to get the boys making making money and the boys are making money when you guys are spending money with our code and that makes us all so happy and that you know that's really what it's all about supporting the

boys us for eating in particular he's eating now a panda is finally able to... You're feeding me. You're so full. I'm so hungry. So, again, this year, graduate with a degree in clean balls. From Manscaped. Manscaped.com. Code SLEEPDEPRIVED. You'll get some discounts. And thank you guys so much. Thank you, guys. Now back to

Drake. What's with that pregnant woman thing? He's pregnant. He uses Manscaped. Drake uploaded a song on that album that's just like, it's the sound of the ball trimmer 4.0. He said, I feel like

we could recreate it right here. Yeah, let's make the song. Okay. I cut my balls in. I get my balls sucked in. Future coming in. Ball toner on the dick. Yeah.

This isn't part of the ad. This isn't part of the ad anymore. No, it's not part of the ad. This isn't part of the ad anymore. No, it's not part of the ad. No, this is just us. This is experimental music. We're not sponsored to say this. Jesus Christ. Dude, fucking Dr. Seuss is back.

What? He goes on this ad, they go, New Year, new you. Might screw around and attend Smooth Balls University this fall. Who writes this shit? That's crazy we're lucky that guy they're lucky they make they're lucky they make decent products because i mean holy shit yeah otherwise we'd rip this apart yeah no it's unique it gives a character yeah uh fellas go for the valedictorian of ball trimming. I was going to read that. Why is it written like that, though?

Join the two million men worldwide who trust Manscaped. Wow. Yeah. Do you think they're going to hear us tearing into their writing? No, I don't think they care. It's because we're making them so much gosh darn money. We are so rich. Hey, after you guys are done buying Manscaped products google obama kundu's

hospital and look up all the people obama bombed 42 at least 42 42 yeah that's what i'm seeing i i read 22 that's even worse yeah a genuine question how is drake like how do people still like drake i don't know dude i don't know he's ass it's because it's trash well i mean i don't i mean there's that but then also he's like actually a predator you know he is well i mean because you did you hear about the whole millie bobby brown thing and like that other girl he was like taking pictures with no i don't know about that um who's millie bobby brown she's the actress are you serious right now yeah she's the am i supposed to know who millie bobby brown is it sounds like a name generator she's the girl who sounds like an

american girl doll bro like what am i supposed to she's in stranger things basically and then she was also in the new godzilla movie oh is she i think i do know about that she's 11 in she's like she's 17 now but then like drake was taking pictures of her and like being in her dms and like sending her really weird texts like when she was like younger than 17 even i can't remember how old she was but yeah he's like actually sus as hell. Okay, I hate him now. I hate Drake. He also tries to do drill. And he's from Toronto.

It just sounds kind of weird. What does it sound like? It sounds like an American trying to do drill. Trying to do a UK accent. Is drill just like UK rap? Listen to war. Kind of, yeah. Okay, let's all take a three minute break. Listen to war. Kinda, yeah. Okay, let's all take a three minute break to listen to war.

Donda. Donda. Kanye, though, he's so much better than Drake. He claps him. Every category. You're a simp. I don't give a fuck. What do you mean claps

he claps why isn't there a Kanye clap yet oh my god you're right maybe there is let's look it up Kanye clap we should start that cause Drake sucks

I've seen this gif around. It's not him standing up like Justin Bieber or Drake, but... It's, uh... He's clapping like this. See? Kanye approves. This is good. We should use this from now on.

We should use this one instead. I like it more. He looks like he's happy and clapping to a beat there. He looks like the goat. Meh. Mika, was that you? Yeah, that was me. through a beat there. He looks like the goat. Miko, was that you? Yeah, that was me. You tricked me. I thought it was a real goat.

Yeah, that was really good. What else can you do, man? What else can you do with that mouth? What else can that mouth do, though? This is one of the things it can do. What that mouth do? Let's see that mouth move Did you just shart? No

No I was showing you What other noises I can make Sounds like you were showing what your ass do Show me what that dream ass does Shut up I will kill you Oh my god Show him what your ass do. Show him what that dream ass does. Shut up. I will kill you. Oh my god.

Do you understand? No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, do you understand? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No. No.

I'm sorry. Shut up. Listen. Okay. Okay. Don't ever say that again. I'm sorry. Shark Tale or Nemo? Nemo.o actually no shark Nemo fuck you now tell you fucking

you're so stupid and I hate you well I'm rubber and you're glue so whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you where Where the fuck is that from? Well, I'm a bullet and I'm fucking going right at you. Where's that from? So what are you going to do now? I'm holding up a mirror and it's going to go right back at you because... I'm a fucking tank. I'm pretty sure the bullet just goes through the mirror. You're dead.

Actually, I just imbued the bullet with psychic powers and it has more energy than 10 nuclear bombs. Okay, this is ridiculous, guys. You're right. Let's stop it with the hypotheticals. This is ridiculous, guys. This is going too far. Would you rather have two Dondas or games?

Stop it, Mika! Listen, there's no Dondas left. Would you rather have two more Dondas or you can have infinite bacon? Would you rather Donda with more bacon? Don't joke about Donda. Would you rather have bacon with Donda? Don't joke about Donda. She was a good woman.

Don't joke about Donda. Okay, I was a great woman. Would you rather have games, infinite games, or bacon, but no games? The narwhal bacons at midnight? Narwhal with bacon. Tad picking narwhal bacon The narwhal bacon's at midnight? The narwhal bacon's at midnight? I think so. All right, you know what? I think someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,

asked Resist. A panda. What? If you apologize now, we'll walk away from this. Yeah, Panda. I apologize. It's time for you to apologize. Apologize right now.

I think it's time for you to apologize. I'll never apologize for my true beliefs about Drake being ass and Kanye being the GOAT. You shouldn't apologize about Drake being ass. You're right. I shouldn't. He produces so much mid. So much

mid. He's got an entire mountain of ass. I could out rap Drake any day. He sucks! Um. Alright, dude. He's just bad. He's just not good.

You can feel that. No, no, no. He's just not good. He's not good. You can feel like that. It's okay. We have some Drake fans. Okay. OVO boys.

Slad! Slad! Are you a Drake fan? No, I don't even listen to rap. I don't get it. Okay. Alright. What's your favorite? That's not true. You listen to rap. I don't get it. All right. What's your favorite? That's not true.

You listen to the story of OJ and the epic rap battles in history. Wait, how does that one go? I forget. How does that song go? Wait, it slipped out of my mind. How does that song go? Yeah, Mika, sing it. I don't know the lyrics.

Mika introduced it to us, didn't he? No, I don't know the lyrics Mika introduced it to us didn't he no I don't think that a live rehearsal I mean I can google the lyrics do you guys think OJ is innocent yeah no yeah totally I have no idea

no he didn't do it I don't think he did it where's the evidence that's dude you're now now you get it bro yep it took us like 34 episodes but we're on the same wavelength now are you talking about orange juice yeah i just got that now i'm not black i'm oj okay i bought some artwork for one million a few few years later, that shit worth 2 million. A few years later, that shit worth 3 million. What? I can't wait to give this shit to my children. It's Logan Paul buying CryptoPunks.

It's him buying the most expensive Pokemon card and getting scammed. And punching glass. I can't wait to give this shit to my children. I feel like there are better things you could give your children than, like, crypto. No. No, just not possible. I'm just not convinced.

I don't... Seems like a good gift to me Imagine being 10 years old And it's Christmas day You go downstairs And your parents are like We got you 100 Froge bucks

Why do the parents sound like the kids Oh right okay We got you 100 Froge bucks Oh my god Oh my god Oh right okay We got you 100 frog bucks Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god

Is that Shlogy That's not That's Shlogy That's the kid that woke up on Christmas morning So happy for his crypto punks Or whatever the fuck Wait use that voice again i don't think i can i completely forgot it is it like this i don't know

you you make you make a you make a weird voice do right now you guys seem to be so confident why do you sound like that? Well, you know, it just happens. Alright, Shalai, your turn. Um, hold on. He's buying pants again. Hello? What the fuck? What the fuck? Bro, stop that shit.

What the fuck? Oh my god. You need to stop. Relax. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Are you that hot single lady in my area? Donda. Donda. Donda.

Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Hey, everybody. Who is that hot toots? Yeah, I know. Is the door unlocked? Yeah, I keep it unlocked just so she can come in sometimes. Who was that?

That was Donda. It's Kanye West's mom. It's Donda, bro. I got her in here. remember when this podcast used to be good no no don't say that we're evolving you know never before arguably are are we evolving no we're going back. Yeah, just downwards. I feel like before there used to be some structure. No, I don't think there was. So, Panda, you're coming back to streaming, eh? Yeah, I'm going to be streaming at twitch.tv slash a panda.

And you should give me a lot of money, everyone. And I'm not going to be shoehorned or whatever the term is to play minecraft uh i don't know what i'll do i'll stream with astro though yeah we're gonna stream together we're gonna stream minecraft no we're not gonna stream minecraft what's the appeal to streaming for you money do you have fun playing games uh i have fun looking over to my other monitor and seeing a donation and then going back to playing the game yeah i respect that thank you is there some do you feel like there's more you can do streaming than you can making youtube videos or is it

kind of like well you see the money come in live and it kind of motivates you right then and there to to keep being nuts what if no one donated what if no Don the dick in your ass. Dick. Dale Don the Dom. Owner of the Dimmsdale Don the Dom. So Panda, do you like dick? Kinda. Okay.

Who here doesn't like dick? Exactly. who here doesn't like dick exactly I'm gonna start doing that when no one responds I'm just gonna exactly exactly so Mika how was your day it was not bad I was working

on some music before this oh Mika why don't you take the floor about the music that you make for like five minutes? There's not really much to say that's five minutes worth, but I'm working on a new project. And hopefully it'll be my best one yet. I'm going to stream it. Thank you. Stream Alex Unknown. stream it thank you it's stream alex unknown also uh if you stream on twitch or youtube none of my

music will trigger copyright because i don't select that option when i use my distributor so a panic and i can dual stream minecraft listening to Blue Shell by AlexUnknown. And then when we upload the YouTube video, we'll put Schlatt's face on the thumbnail for views. Do it. It'll be like we're collabing. Do it, man. Oh my god. Exactly.

Stream AlexUnknown. Thank you. I'll be here all weekend. Donda? Donda? Donda? Donda? Donda?

Donda? Donda? Donda? Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda. Donda Dewey. Donda.

Donda Dewey. Donda Dewey. Well, bye.