Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #48 ft. Jack Manifold

Episode Date: January 16, 2022

the boys talk about airplanes for 38 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

holy shit everybody welcome back to sleep deprived podcast episode 48 starring hassan hassan is here everybody hassan piker what's up hassan hey it's me i'm based what's up hassan hassan tell us about your four billion dollar house that you just bought. Yeah. So. Hassan, I think there's a little bit of a mess up on the audio there. What do you mean? It sums a little off. I think maybe the

the gain? What? Hassan, I heard you were a socialist. Is this true? Are you a communist, Hassan I heard you were a socialist Is this true Are you a communist Hassan Yeah Sorry I couldn't hear you can you say that louder Yeah Hassan what are you munching on

Mr. Dogs What's Mr. Dogs You're munching on dogs Hassan What the hell tested you know that is something I'd expect from someone who has a communist stop this bullshit can we stop this is a fucking game put your mic down and let's have a real conversation about policy stop eating dog come willy on in here eating dogs i'm still gonna be having

billions of dollars and you don't even want to talk about politics with us wow let's talk politics how many months does it take uh for you to fart around your significant other i'm never doing that no you can do it eventually one day no no no one day you're gonna move in together you're gonna be in bed and you're gonna be in pain because you need to fart like you you're gonna be in agony because you need to fart and you'll be like i i need to do this if they don't love me after this then that's on them i'm not with the right person i'll be honest honest, like, I've been together with her for three years. We live together. I wait till she's asleep till I start farting. But then when she's

asleep, then it's on. Wow. That's so pussy, Astro. Come on, dude. That was a little bit. Yeah, you're a little bitch. Dude, I would rip ass so hard. You know what? That's why you're single. I know. I'd burn a hole in the bed, Schleck. You know what? That's why you're single. I know.

I'd burn a hole in the bed. You don't understand. And if you don't like me for that, that's on you. Just like Jack said. Jack? Wait, who's Jack? Wait, hold on. Jack Manifold?

That's you? No, no, no, no. Yeah. Oh, hey. No. Hey, man. We thought you were Hassan for a second. What the heck? Yeah, we have similar properties, like Yeah. Oh, hey. No. Hey, man. We thought you were Hassan for a second. What the heck?

Yeah, we have similar properties, like having lots of money and big muscles. Right. And lots of women love you. And that right. And you're a communist. Yep. So, Jack, what have you been up to recently, man? It's so great that you decided to join our podcast permanently.

Yeah. So you guys have been asking me for ages. In reality, here's what happened. We were both on a Minecraft server. And then I said, I have to go. I have to go do a podcast. And then Jack was like, can I please come? And I was like, Jack, aren't you streaming?

And he's like, I'll end it. Oh my god. And so he did. Well, I appreciate that. And he showed up to the Sleep Deprived podcast, probably thinking, in all honesty, he probably thought it was Chuckle Sandwich. You got trolled, dude.

I was struggling to figure out which one of you was slime-sicle I would say probably Astro-Zist is the most like slime-sicle of us what is that supposed to mean? don't worry about it I can see that honestly

so who's the Ted? um I would say I'm probably the ted wait who am i oh thank god i think i think that's the ted i think i'm the ted a bit of the ted man scott the editor man i saw him grow up you're so cool scott the editor what who's that the editor of the sandwich oh saw him grow up. He was so cool. Scott the editor? What? The editor of Chuckle Sandwich. Oh, Scott Post?

Yeah, our editor is from Britain or something. He was the first... I was the first person he ever edited for. Really? Yeah. And we poached him from you. Yeah. You took him in under your wing. I'm actually working on the same thing with your current editor.

I'm actually going to steal him too. Yeah, Joe Schlapp has a thing where he steals all my editors. Yeah. Every time I send Wheatskins footage and he's like, I got to do this thing for Jack. I'm like, don't you forget who treats you good. I had to raise his pay significantly to compete. Did you really?

yeah 50 bucks is tough we keep our editors down here I was paying him in Twitter exposure up until now no that's a bit too much too you can just pay them by following them on Twitter and they put like editor of Jack

Manifold. In their bio. That's big for anyone. Fucking responding to you. I won't lie if anyone does that who isn't my editor. I have a legal team for that. You do? Oh shit.

I'm taking people down. Really? And Hitman. Can we cut that part? No. No our editor Moist he just doesn't even edit these anymore he just puts them in the timeline and then just hits

render they used to be he's gonna roll his eyes right now but these we all know these episodes been getting longer and longer no we love moist though we do love moist we do love i love them so hasan i don't know if he knew this but but actually everyone who comes on this podcast is a permanent member they they actually can never leave yeah yeah there's

like three past members in this group yeah pyrocynical just kind of sits in the group the last person to message this group chat was pyrocynical yeah he's he's just a part of the group he's not he's has not shown back up to any of the podcasts but he just is in here yeah but technically he is supposed to be showing up for the podcast so we actually dock his pay yeah we dock his pay that's why i'm getting papers because renowned communist hassan piker i'm a big fan of that all right right we split all the pay equally that's big that's big i can buy another mansion with that. You can buy more Mr. Dogs. Wasn't that the craziest thing?

Twitter ever cancelled someone over? Buying a house? Hold on, he's about to buy a car. Let's see what's worse. It's fucking wild to me. They were like, this guy put a roof over his fucking head and then he got mad. Hassan's totally going to buy a Lamborghini

or something just to get training again. I guarantee guarantee you just to piss him off because it helps him well yeah cancellations are just a little uh there's a little ploy i see what hasan's doing oh yeah yeah this is like me a year ago exactly like it depends what side of the internet you're on but there's a certain side of internet where getting cancelled helps. Mm-hmm. Can you believe he buys groceries? What a communist prick. Hate that guy. I think the point was that he wasn't- I think the point people trying to make is like he pretends to be communist but he buys a fucking home. I'm like I- I don't think people in communist nations don't have homes, you know?

Hmm, interesting. You say you eat food, yet you're a communist. I didn't realize we had ben shapiro on the fucking podcast oh we've had ben shapiro on the podcast multiple times hypothetically let's say i am a poopy boy i bet he is a poopy boy. I bet he shit himself before. Let's talk about that. Next topic. Ben Shapiro shit himself or nah?

Absolutely. And he would never admit it. Oh, no. His pride's too big. Didn't that other girl shit herself? Yeah. Oh, she did. She fully fucking did. Her name is Caitlin Bennett, I think.

And her whole platform is like... Is that the gun woman? Yeah, that's the gun woman. How deep into it do you have to be to show up to a campus with an assault rifle and be like, this is to prove a point, but really you're just making everyone extremely uncomfortable? Sorry. I don't know. Why don't you ask Hassan?

Hassan, you've, uh, I believe you've sparred with this woman multiple times. I have? Oh, right, yeah, of course. Hassan, you ****. Fuck's sake, man. You know, I've decided I don't want to play the role of Hassan Piker anymore. Speaking of

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Yo, I'm wearing the ball deodorant right now. You are? Dude, same. I am, man. Wait, you lathered up before this, Hasan? 100%. I always lather up before every big performance. Oh, my God.

Hasan loves lathering up. Dude, we're going off script already. I love the ball deodorant. I love the ball toner. I love everything in their Manscaped performance package. I love it, man. I love it. They make my balls smell good. They do. This V-Day, it's

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They do not. They have never listened. They just look at the return on investment they get from our code because people actually use it. Sleep deprived, by the way. Wait, your code's actually INSERTCODE? No, it's sleep deprived. You'll get 20% off plus sleep deprived. Oh, right. Okay. Sleep deprived.

You'll get 20% off plus free shipping. Do not talk. Do not read. Post to talk about why clean balls are so important on Valentine's Day. Jack, could you do that part? Yeah, of course. I'm a guy. As Hasan Piker, I have suffered from some stinky balls.

And let me tell you, it has been a turn off with the ladies. I hear it's a jungle down there, Hasan. And it is. But with the new Manscaped care package, let me tell you. The Joe Rogan experience. But let me tell you, women, they love me now. As you can see, Hasan Piker popular with ladies. That's because I started spraying that deodorant on my stinky

balls and I started shaving it's no longer a jungle down there trust me there's no chips to pull up from there Jamie the performance package 4.0 for Manscaped is the best thing every guy needs these aren't even funny anymore hold on can we just

can we scroll start can we look at a different one they sent us? Jamie, Jamie, pull up a picture of Hassan's balls. Thanks. Oh, please. Oh, my God. There's Hassan's hairless balls. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Wow. Those look great. Jamie, pull up those chimps. They'll rip your fucking hairless balls off. Pull up the chimps. Oh, should we do maybe the back to school brief that one was pretty good oh here we go here we go here we go this is good this is good today's episode is sponsored by

friends at manscaped uh the lawnmower 4.0 also has a 7 000 rpm motor a new multi-function on-off switch that can engage a travel lock and gives you ability to turn 4000k led spotlight on and off when needed for more precise shape uh wait i thought there was going to be something funny what if these have never been funny they have hold on have these never been funny they've always been funny no they've always been funny. No, they've always been funny. I think we just maybe matured a little. Maybe we matured a little. Maybe we did.

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No, I'm not saying that. It's just a question. You have a hairy cock? Like the I'm not saying that. You have a hairy cock, like a shaft? Gross hair on it? No, it was just an open-ended... I think you just admitted something. No, it was just an open-ended question. Let's wrap up this ad read before we go into that.

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We wouldn't make fun of a product that couldn't stand on its own two feet. Exactly. Okay, so Jack Manifold just confessed to us here that the shaft of his cock has a lot of hair on it, apparently. I'm a soundpiker. How much hair? Not much, just a bit. That's even worse, I think, because then it's just like a few scragglies. Yeah, like enough to make someone uncomfortable.

So you run the razor over your shaft? Oh, jeez. You run the razor over your shaft? Not to my pleasure, but, you know, it's a necessary act. Seems a little brave of you, to be honest. You're so brave. That is such a terrifying thought. Your shaft, your cock has like a jacket. And you do this for socialism? It's got to stay warm somehow somehow i'm a cold guy i i recently found out that

your feet shouldn't feel like ice cubes really my feet are like ice cold all the time what do they feel like well i don't know but apparently not that wait i've heard of a sock is that bad if i take my socks off i just have ice cold feet. You might have poor circulation. I think I do. I only realized that like the other week, like last week. Huh. I'm sure one of the boys here could give you a nice foot massage. I'd be so down for that. All right. A panda.

Panda. You guys always- When you guys have these scenarios, you always come to me. Why? Because you're willing to do it and you love feet. That is not true. You like Because you're willing to do it and you love feet. That is not true. But I'll do it. Okay, we didn't say suck on them.

He's squirting some manscaped ball blood into his hands. They work great on the toes. Can I ask you a genuine question, Hasan? So, okay, I've got this idea, right? So we have this problem. I want you to imagine it. It's called world hunger. Hypothetical.

Now, hypothetically, let's say that there was world hunger. And let's say, hypothetically, I came up with an amazing solution. Well, I know exactly what the fuck this is i can't believe you're saying this so we get a plane right and it's it's not just a regular plane it's like a special plane it's got kitchens in the back cabins been doing this for 40 episodes we've got a special line of chefs cooking hamburgers And then now the plane is modified to have cannons that shoot the burgers down at the people below to feed them It's called the burger plane. What do you think?

I have a lot of respect for the burger plane. I think- What the fuck? Thank you. What is wrong with you? No, what I don't see the problem, right? There's burgers being made on this plane and we shoot them down to the people it is highly Logical and that thing comes out of the plane. It's gonna split apart by the time you know it's just mince No, now you ever right I I demonstrate to you a bit a piece of UK law alright I Use this I bring this to the court, alright? British law, alright? Because this is real. At Alton Towers,

famous theme park, there is a restaurant called the Rollercoaster Restaurant, right? Huh. Your food is delivered to you on rollercoaster tracks. They make your food in the kitchen and it's delivered to you on a rollercoaster track. You don't say. Burgers!

Like a mini one? Burgers do loop-de-loops at this place, right? What? What? So you're telling me you couldn't find them out of a can of these burgers? These burgers are going upside down, man! That is the worst Photoshop ever. Alright, yeah, I recognize that this isn't the real image, but... The plates are

like the size of their chest. This looks like a sushi restaurant. You know how they have the conveyor belts or whatever yeah except it's just everything there this is a real picture no this looks amazing this looks like from shark boy and lava girl it does like it looks so fake i've never been though like i've never been i've been to alton towers but i've never been in the roller coaster restaurant so i imagine the food quality is not great but the concept is very intriguing okay but the burger plane would be gourmet like right well that you see that's the difference isn't it exactly there would be no like skipping cutting corners with the burger plane astro does not understand physics because he says the burger is going to fall apart

in the air but like at that high of an atmosphere it's going to be frozen when it leaves the plane and like it's not like we can't wrap it or something and then it's going to burn up no but here's the thing there was a CSI Miami episode about this where

someone shit out of a plane and it froze and then impaled someone and killed them are you serious? This might hurt people. So I'm saying the burger would freeze and then it would not do what you think it would do, which is feed people. It would kill them as they become a killing machine. As these frozen pieces of hail rain down on the impoverished areas. No, I think that we would have.

You're a serial killer. You guys, what you are. Literally. You're a serial killer. guys what you are literally you're a serial killer listen here i'm hassan parker right i'm educated exactly the difference between shit is shit upon leaving like the atmosphere right will will burn up and and cook so it will be it will not be a an ice spike by the time it Earth. It will be a readily cooked meal for those in need. Oh. Do you think it'll be pretty warm and, like, delectable once it gets down there?

Yeah, 100%. Because it will burn up in the atmosphere and cook. Wow. I like your thinking. I like your thinking. Oh, this means we don't even have to cook it ourselves. Exactly. You just shoot down a raw patty, and then it cooks itself as it flies down holy shit that's all yeah and it'll be perfectly flame grill

oh you're so smart hassan hey that's what they know me for where did that in my muscles and house i'm gonna subscribe to you now on twitch you deserve it you need the money thanks man i do need the money i'm glad we're really supporting a small streamer like hassan what can we say you know i i deserve it so i'm pushing such great ideals as communism where did you go to school you know i went asl uh no no, no, no, that's, uh... He's a student of life, Mika. I went to Rutgers University, B.A. And...

What the fuck are you talking about? Wow, you recited that right off the top of the dome. You didn't go to Rutgers. That's amazing. I went to Rutgers, man. You did not go to Rutgers. Yeah, I did. You should check my Wikipedia if you don't think I did,

because it's cited there. I mean, we here, we went to Moon University. It was pretty chill. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we all went to Moon University. Oh, how was it? What goes on there? It was pretty chill.

What's the culture like? It was pretty chill. Ah, right. So, like, what did you study? Quidditch. Babes. Sex. With your mom. Babes.

That's fucked up, man. Don't you ever fucking joke about that again. You're lucky I even came on this shit podcast, alright? So, fucking... What? I spilled beer everywhere. Fuck! I spilled beer everywhere, man!

Why is Hasan being so rude to us? Nah, fuck you. I thought Hasan was humble. Obviously he's not. Obviously Hasan has some work to do. Hasan, what the fuck? Hasan, I thought you were educated. Hasan meanie.

Hasan, you dumb fucking idiot Stupid head I spilled more in the process of cleaning up the fucking beer and this time on me. Did you just crack a beer bottle? Oh my god Hassan do you have an alcohol problem that you want to talk about no man it was it look i had a couple bottles here and i spilt both of them and and now clean them up i'm on my hands and fucking knees with paper towels you're doing two at a time you fucking like edward 40 hands bro what is going on you don't need a type for this podcast, man.

I got two hands. That's fair. I need to go get more paper towels. He's got that beer hat. You know, like the one at football games where it funnels beer into your... Yeah, like Brian D's mom from video game high school.

D's? Good one, man. I fucking hate this podcast. But that's none of my business. I'm thinking of the Kermit gift. I gotta be honest. Thank you. You guys remember the Kermit meme?

Oh, yeah. That was a good meme. Wait, Jack, that means we can play Beerio Kart. We can play Beerio Kart. Say that again? Sorry, I didn't have my headphones on. You got beer on your switch?

Dude, it's... You know what that means. I'm going to say it for the third time now. We can play Beerio Kart. You want to play Beerio Kart? You want to play Beerio Kart? Yeah. You know Beerio Kart? I don't.

I saw you play Mario Kart with someone. This is real, by the way. They went, have you ever played drunk Mario Kart? I was like, that's a thing? And they're like, yep. And I was like, oh, okay, what is it? And they're like, nah, it's just fun, man. You just got to do it.

And they never told me what it was. I think Beerio Kart, you have to finish an entire can of beer during the race but you can't drive while you drink it so you can you gotta pull over you do you have to stop you have to completely break so what what you could do maybe at the beginning is chug the whole thing when the race starts or you know you do a lap you take a big sip, all that. It actually sounds like a very good and skill-based game. I feel like there's a lot of strategy involved there. Can you play it? It's only with other

people, right? You can't play it with bots, I'm guessing. Yeah, it's with other people. That sounds pretty fun. You wouldn't win against bots because they're not going to stop to drink beer. They're not going to stop to drink beer. They're not going to stop to drink beer. The bots don't understand.

They love drunk driving. This is a question. Do you think BeerioCart is a bad influence on our children and encourages drunk driving? Yes. No. I'm glad we got that cleared up. I think it's a good point. Do you think drinking is fun, Jack?

Do you drink frequently? Yeah. Underage? I'm not underage. UK laws. You drink under the age of 21? Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, I'm 19 years of age, but in the UK you can drink from 18, so, you know.

That's really irresponsible. I think they should change that. Why? Why do you think they should change that i just don't think little children should be drinking i'm not a little child i've been drinking how long have you been hold on how long have you been drinking for no i'm gonna tell all right let me tell you about uk drinking laws before i you better say one year look uk drinking laws technically make

it legal to drink from the age of five under the right circumstances genuinely under the right circumstances you can legally drink from the age of five in the uk what are the circumstances so um your pair like your parents can allow you to drink. It's like parental discretion. So from the age of five and up, a parent can go, yeah, they're in my house, they can drink beer, and, like, that's fine. Is that why British people are like that? Is that why they're all so fucking stupid? No, but that's real, though.

But, um, let me, wait. Oh my god wait actually though i don't know this has got an iphone water mic you got to take it with a grain of salt for the for the audio listen nah we're not but anyway anyway yeah so i probably i've been drinking since i was like 15 would you say that drinking from such a young age has like changed anything or no because i didn't drink much until i was like able to like go out and drink so you can't drink like outside your own home so like i would have like a beer with my dinner like you know

like it wasn't like i was drinking much though i think i told you that about this once like british culture is just like a group of likeyear-olds going into a field with a bottle of vodka and drinking. Honestly, I remember when we left school, our leaving school party was, let's all go to this field and get hammered. I didn't go. I slept instead. I wasn't about that. I just remember everyone doing it and hearing the stories afterwards.

Like, some girl tried to set a guy on fire and shit. Holy shit. Oh, my God. The UK. UK scenes. Not a lot to do in the UK, huh? Not where I lived. There was nothing to do where I lived.

But don't you guys have, like, Tesco? Yeah, we have Tesco. Sure, yeah. You don't go on trips to Tesco? Like, because I know people who just, like, go to Target. And they're like, yeah, I went to Target today. With a huge smile on their face. Like, okay, you went to Target.

Congrats. Tesco's chill. You can get a meal deal for three pounds. That's good eating for three pounds. But, like, otherwise. I've heard good things about the meal deal. The Tesco meal deal is pretty banging. I'll give you that.

Three pounds. You can get a sandwich and or a wrap. A side, which is either a crisp packet or like a chocolate bar, and then a drink. That's a meal. Oi, mum, I wanna go to Tesco What about, Hasan, have you ever

had the Tesco pizza? Uh, not specifically Tesco branded pizza, no. I heard that shit's really good. Ah, I've never had it. I'll have to give it a try. Sorry, can we have it together? Yeah.

Fuck, dude. I'm glad we had that moment, man. Me too. Hey, Hasan. Yeah. Do you think the alcoholism contributed to the male pattern baldness? I think incest did, I'm sorry. I don't mean to interrupt but incest did Is this how you're applying the jack?

No! Applying the jack is... Is Hasan balling? No. Wait, are you calling me out for being bald? No, I would- no, I love you, Jack Manifold. Is this like below the surface? Is this below the Hasan Piker like shield? Are you just calling me out for being bald? No, I would never, Jack Manifold. Is this, like, below the surface? Is this below the Hasan Piker, like, shield? Are you just calling me out for being bald?

No, I would never do such a thing. I have my hair cut, so that's why. I purposely choose to get my head shaved. Why do you do that? We love your bald head. I always have. I don't like having hair. I gotta do shit with it.

That's why you're so fucking cold. No, my feet are cold. Not my fucking head, man. Actually, I think there's there's like a study or something like the feet and your head being cold or is it i will say definitely this sounds like the biggest read all the studies they did about me dude dude stop what the fuck he's studied up oh my god no it's true that like don't you fucking don't you fucking play the victim here, bro? No, I'm not playing the victim. I don't. I just know this shit. I've been following you for years, man, and every day you'll be liking that weird following.

You muted, bro. Dude, how are you guys gonna... I'd be like, oh, he's my friend. There's a reason we all muted you, man. That's what I'm saying. You guys all muted me. So how the fuck would you know? He fucking likes hentai on his public timeline. Used to.

He was one of those fucking people. Actually, I still kind of do some things. Those fucking people make me, like, genuinely just sad. Like, it just makes me sad. Now he can't have an account anywhere. He gets banned. Like, genuinely. Like, this isn't even a bit.

When I see someone, like, publicly liking hentai, I'm like, that's just fucking sad, man. How fucking desperately horny are you? How destitute. How destitute of you. Yeah, sad, man. How fucking desperately horny are you? That you have this fucking like... How destitute of you are you? Yeah, no, no, but like you sat there and you're like, you can't just privately enjoy that shit. You gotta let everyone know that that's like your thing. Yeah, Astro.

Fucking sad, man. Astro, it's so sad. This is why everyone muted you, apparently. Everyone. If you guys muted me, then how would you... You guys are making shit up, because if you muted me, how you guys are making shit up because if you muted me how would you even know shit we muted you because of it no that's not why i did you because of it here's the thing because you kept getting banned and then we kept following your new accounts and having to re-mute you because you kept liking hentai.

Maybe that's why you get banned. It was good, though. You fucking retweeted it sometimes. That was my first account. Quote tweeted it. Sorry, I just had a fucking heart attack because I opened Twitter and I saw it was trending. I'm like, oh my fucking god, I went on one Jschlatt podcast and it's already fucking happened.

Episode isn't even out yet. It's all good don't worry guys yeah it's weird when you trend randomly isn't it yeah like there's no context to this it's i'm looking through it it's just a bunch of shit it's just oh because they implied i was gay earlier that was it on the minecraft server they just kept trying to make out i was gay because i just kept saying how much i didn't like penis which is weird because i like i was saying i didn't like penis but they just kept twisting me do no i don't no i don't that's the whole point but like i think a dude could give a better blow job than most oh a million percent a million on his first

try too oh yeah no a million percent you get you a million percent. You get two of them in a room. One dude who has never sucked a dick and has no intention to. And then one girl who's been sucking dick for years. You get that lady from the Call Her Daddy podcast. I guarantee you the dude would do a better job. Hello? No, no, I agree, man. No, no, no, I agree.

I reckon dudes be sucking cock, dude. I agree, too. I think. Like, I don't know, but I think. Well, they'd understand. I know. Guys would understand better. Because.

Yeah. Women, they'd grab it like a worm and start bending it, twisting it. No one has ever touched your penis. They will. When they will, they'll just be waiting. You guys are mean as shit. I'm sorry. So anyway, Jack, which testicle are we chopping off?

Oh, if I had to lose one? Yeah. Do I have a minute to assess? This isn't a hypothetical. This isn't? Oh, wow. Oh, wait. Do I have a minute to, like, assess? This isn't a hypothetical. This isn't? Oh, wow. Um, oh, wait. Do I have a second to, like, assess and, like, look? Eh, 20 seconds. Okay, shit. Hold on.

Mika, get the saw. Okay. I'm losing the right one. You're losing the right one? Yeah, one time I thought the right one had a lump on it and it didn't and and very bluntly the woman who inspected my testicle to to check if this was a lump just went no that's your testicle and i was like no i know i'm aware she like she like hold on you

brought your you brought your cock to a lady just to any random lady she's a doctor she's a fucking doctor but like i went i went into the doctor's office i was like hey i think i found a lump and i was like you know i was fucking like like a bit shaken by this yeah and then she's just like no that's your nut sack yeah she just touched both my nuts and she's like no that's your testicle as if i wasn't like aware i should have two like I'm like, no, I know. But one of them feels like it has a lump. Does it not? And she's like, no, it's just your testicle.

And I was like, oh. Wait, no. I mean, you need to check. No, she did check. She checked and she's like, no, it's just your testicle. And I was like, oh, that was really embarrassing to just be told that that is just my testicle. Yeah. But are you sure?

I'm pretty sure, but like, still like, hey, if I gotta lose one, might as well lose the one that might be problematic, you know? I see, so this is like a preemptive measure for you. Yeah, just in case that lady was wrong and it wasn't just my testicle, let's just get rid of it. So we're helping you out by chopping it off. Yeah, 100%.

You know, you have had the best perspective out of anyone we've brought on here. Yeah, every time you try to chopping it off. Yeah, 100%. You know, you have had the best perspective out of anyone we've brought on here. Yeah, every time you try to chop them off. Well, when we try to chop them off, they get mad, but you're just, like, happy to do it. Well, again, it's preemptive, man. I mean, we could take both off, you know,

buy one, get one free. No, no, I feel like in the long run, I'll miss it. Alright, well, Mika's gonna cut that off now. I do not do the cutting. No. Oh, right, you just get the long run, I'll miss it. Alright, well, Mika's gonna cut that off now. I do not do the cutting. No. Oh, right, you just get the... Oh, stop! Pick Schlatt, not me!

Okay, Schlatt and a panda together. Cut it off. What? Cut off Jack's nut. I haven't been listening to the podcast. Cut off Jack's nut. You want me to cut off Jack Manifold's nut? Yes. Like, it's fine. Can we just, like, get on with it if we're gonna do it? That's my

move. Like, I just wanna kinda get it over with. I'm just gonna sit here in anticipation. Let's just sit on it. Let's just sit on it for a minute. I don't really wanna sit on it. Like, if we're going to have to do it, then I think we should just do it. Like, I'm not saying like, hey, we should cut off my ball, but like, if we're going to, let's just do it.

Okay. Jack, why are you so adamant about this? No, I'm not. You guys told me it was going to have to happen. You guys went in, you're going to have to have one removed. You want someone like Dami Mami to show up and... Like... Like you guys said...

What? What? Forget about me. like but you guys said what what I just rang the reset bell we're gonna reset the podcast okay we're gonna start from scratch everybody welcome back to the podcast episode 48 Yeah! You like that, Jack? You like that, Jack?

I kinda like it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Woo! That was fucked up. I was a little rude of you to do it like that. I got that out of my system. You're a one-man show, Astro. Thank you.

All right, we're good. We can end it now. Can we end the podcast? Do you want to end it? Jack, are you done with us? I mean, is this how generally long the podcast is? We've gone like 40 minutes. Yeah, around that.

Oh, okay. Sick. I mean, we could go longer if you want. Just say no, though. Wait, are you telling me to say no? Are you done? You got places to be, Shlatt? I want to put this thing in the microwave. Hey, don't fucking do shit with it, man. I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna put this thing in the microwave I don't fucking do shit with it man I'm gonna eat it

I'm gonna eat it I don't do fucking shit with it man I eat all of them I eat all of the testicles I would've agreed if I knew it was like You're gonna do some fucked up shit No that's the whole point I cut it off so I can eat it

I'm gonna microwave it And then I'm gonna season it And then I'm gonna eat it You're fucked man I'm okay This is like almost worse than a gonna eat it. You're fucked, man! I'm, okay. This is, like, almost worse than a panda liking hentai publicly on Twitter. Bro! Baba booey. Baba booey.

A month! Baba booey. Say it, Jack. Baba booey. Thank you. Baba booey. Baba booey.