Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #5

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

the boys talk about airplanes for 21 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can we get hype? Can we get some hype? It's fucking 2 in the morning. What do you want me to do? Can we... Are you... Did you come here like completely fucking plastered too? No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! Dude! I just... Stop it! Okay, no, dude. Dude, I just... Stop it. Okay, I started recording. Okay, a panda is so stupid, and I'm here to expose it. Fuck you. I'm going to do the intro.

I'm going to do the intro to the podcast now. Wait, do we have a theme song? Hold on. Can I do a theme song? Play the theme song, and I'll intro the podcast. Hey, everyone. I got to get the lyrics. I got to get the I gotta go okay all right I'll wait ready yeah ready wait can I get a rap beat so that provide me with a rap beat I'm doing the fucking

intro wow imagine everyone rock mayor come to the slew Mary. Welcome to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. My name is Schlatt. I'm joined today by Mika. This is going to be a great time. We're going to talk about all the stuff that's going on today. Concrete slabs. What? A panda. Tell us about the concrete slabs. I misheard everything you just said. Tell us about the concrete slabs I misheard everything here I it did not tell us about the slabs the slabs let me tell you what happened yesterday okay I was coming home from school and this wait wait wait

wait I have a question yeah what school do you go to moon university okay okay continue i was coming home from moon university and uh it was a two it was a four lane road eight lane road four lanes on each side sorry can i just interrupt yeah yeah go for it is is the university on the moon no it's just it's called moon universe wait wait i have. Wait, wait, I have a question. Yeah. I have a question. Is the moon on... Is it Earth's moon or another moon? So there were two right turn lanes going right,

and I was on the right turn lane, and some dog of a woman was on the left side of the right turn lane. Wait, wait, wait, I'm lost. You're telling me on the moon there was a woman... No, it's not on the moon.... the right turn lane. Wait, wait, wait. I'm lost. You're telling me on the moon there was a woman and she was a dog? This is on Earth. Oh, this is on Earth.

Two right turn lanes, right? Both turning right. One lady's on the left side. I'm on the right side. She's a dog. She's a dog? Yeah. She's on the left turn lane.

She makes the turn going right and she turns from the left lane of the right turn lane into the right side of the right turn lane and almost crashes into me. And so, you know, I lay on the horn for a good 10 seconds, but then I get a better idea.

What can I do to get inside this woman's mind? I thought you said she was a dog. What can I do to get inside this bitch's mind? Whoa. This story sucks, dude. What car do you have? I drive a 2009 Honda Accord.

Thank you. Of course. I'm still confused. Like an actual dog? You didn't really elaborate on the dog woman. Were you just being derogatory? Yeah. That's really mean.

I'm sorry. I think you should apologize. To who? To you? To the woman? Apologize to me. I'm sorry. First and foremost. Yeah, apologize to she doesn't apologize to me i'm sorry first and foremost yeah apologize to ask now apologize to mika mika please accept my apology i did not mean to spoil the podcast for you and now apologize to that woman no here's what i did we pulled up to the. We pulled up to the stop. We pulled up to the red light.

And it turned green. And we both started accelerating. And I made it my mission for the duration of the time we spent on the same road to go the exact same speed as she was going. And so, you know, we started out. We were going 40. What? and so you know we started out we were going 40 what a panel left and region okay we were going 40 keep going i caught up to her and then i maintained the same speed and i was looking straight ahead i had her in my periphery

and slowly but surely you know if you you can do this to people like right next to you too walking down the street you just go the same speed as them and slowly but surely, you know, if you, you can do this to people like right next to you too, walking down the street, you just go the same speed as them. And slowly but surely we went from 40 to 35 to 30 to 25. She just kept slowing down. It's a, it's a mind game. That's what I'm saying. I guess the point of this is. So I actually wanted to tell a story that happened to me.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So this was yesterday. I was coming back from school and I was going down this four-lane – no, eight-lane highway. Right. Yeah. Wait.

What school do you go to? Moon University. Right. Okay. Yeah. And so I'm going down two right lanes here. She's on my left. This dog of a woman.

Dog of a woman. Right. Dog of a woman. This dog of a woman. Dog of a woman. Dog of a woman. I take a right. And this bitch, she starts following me down the lane. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. Okay, I'm going 40, and she goes right on the left of me.

Again, dog of a woman. And I slow down. 35, she goes 35. 30, she goes 30. 25, 25 she goes what i'm trying to say is it's all a mind game yeah you know what i'm saying i feel that i have a story do you gladly share i need something to vent about um so i was in a uh i i'm currently in a podcast where um there are three other members you know what i i forget honestly sleep deprived is it i am sleep deprived yeah sleep wait was that a question for me no i think it's called the sleep

sleep deprived podcast oh okay um never heard of it but sounds and so one of one of the members was No, I think it's called the Sleep Deprived Podcast. Oh, okay. Never heard of it, but it sounds good. And so one of the members was being fairly respectful. Okay. The other two were being incredibly disrespectful. Who's he talking about? Okay, so I was the one that was being respectful, and you're saying you're being disrespectful. Basically, the moral of the story is you should treat everyone with dignity and respect

and never refer to people as animals. Mika, can I say something about you? Just off the cuff? Okay. You're a dog of a man. What's up with you, a panda? I don't understand why you're degrading animals. Like, why can't they be at the same level as humans? Oh, fucking furry over here.

Hey, hey. Fucking furry over here hey hey i'm not furry i'm just saying okay can we talk about something for real i got a real conversation yeah it's been six months shut the fuck up okay i didn't use no southern accent okay let's let oh fuck a drama okay hear me out it's been six months since we recorded a podcast yeah a lot has changed it's been many moons you know mika and i we have been drastically declining in sub growth but schlatt and a panda oh you guys kind of blew up tables have turned over the past six months now we're the small guys and you're the big boys that's i mean that's not true but yeah well a panda you're the big boy how's it feel big boy i'm the big boy okay big boy

did you get any big boy toys um get some bionicles give you a raise get some lego minecraft sets i got bionicle toa nuju that one what the hell is that that's a Bionicle. Toa Nuju? That one? What the hell is that? That's a Bionicle. The yellow one. Back in the day. I didn't play with those. The Toa.

I wasn't no Bionicle boy. I'm sorry to hear that. So anyways, Panda, what's new in your life? I just cut my fingernails. How about you yeah sam i had a hangnail i had to had to rip it out it hurt a lot yeah

you ever get a hangnail yeah Yeah. You ever get a hangnail? Yeah. You got one? It's one of those days. Oh. One of those days. The key is you can't rip it.

You have to tear it. Babe legs. You gotta let her rip. So, um, anyways, Zipanda, what's new with you? Um, so how have you been, Mika? Um, well, I asked you first, so. I answered. He's got you there, no i with what what what excuse me what did you answer with uh i don't remember oh my god what is this conversation? Welcome to Sleep Reprived

Episode 5. Keep all of that in. What? Wait, we're starting over again? It's me, Schlatt. Oh, hey, Schlatt. Well, so how have you been, Mika? Can they just keep asking that question over and over again?

It's really good. It's really good content. Let's just keep doing that for the next 10 minutes. I'm going to go to bed. I mean, I'm just trying to get a, you know, trying to get a rapport out of a panda. Are we talking about porn?

Um... This is so bad. It cut out. All I heard was porn. So I'm just... This is so bad. It cut out. All I heard was horn. So I'm just... How's your internet connection, bud? What do you want? Are you on Comcast?

Are you on Cox? You on fucking Cablevision? Can you say Cox again? Cox? No, we can't it's pg-13 it's a pg-13 podcast i can't say it okay say it one more time please no guys can we um can we do something do an exercise can we do an exercise in attention span real quick yes we pick a topic yeah let's do it and we all we pick a topic we pick a topic one more time we pick a topic and then we all talk about it and have a nice discussion i like that idea you know i i liked it when mika asked me how I was through like well I

was trying you know cuz let's pick him again cuz we never really got a good answer it's gonna be a fucking nightmare to edit let's get it let's get on a topic let's do do me a favor here let's do you your boy Schlatt a favor. Hey, I got a question. Yeah. When are we getting paid for this shit? Huh? You know, we sit through these. We're getting paid?

For hours. And we don't get a cut? Tell you what. Once. All right. We can get paid. We can start. We can make shirts.

We can get sponsors. But you guys have to commit. Okay? Okay. This has to be a thing and then all right we all have to we all we all we all have to make video what's so funny what are you fucking laughing about we all have to make videos promoting the podcast on all of our respective channels drive the viewers drive the emails to my inbox from anything besides dollar shave club oh man i actually already emailed dollar shave club last night for this

they're like pretty on board for being our sponsor i'm sorry for laughing i just thought your little um your little stutter there was... I stuttered there by accident. Making fun of retarded people now. Okay. Wow. No. We're going to get... We have to commit to the podcast,

and then the orders will start coming in. We'll start selling merch. We'll start shipping product, and we'll start making that cash, and that's when the money starts, okay? But it's a team effort. What's the product? We can't say that on stream. and we'll start making that cash and that's when the money starts. It's a team effort. What's the product?

We can't say that on stream. Wait, this is streaming? We're streaming right now? I'm sorry. My mind is a little bit fried. It is 2am. Wait, did we start yet? Have we actually started?

Wait, did we start yet? Wait, have we actually started? Wait, did we start yet? What's a topic we can all have a nice conversation about? Can we take Buzzfeed quizzes? Your Minecraft video. My Minecraft video. That was a good video. Thanks dude. I appreciate it.

How long did it take you to work on that? It took three months to write the script. Wow. On and off. On and off. I was writing it since, like, March. That's crazy, dude. Yeah, and then the editing took... The editing was the quickest job.

It was mostly just finding the right words to say. That and recording footage. I had a folder that was 150 gigabytes large, full of just Minecraft footage. Some of the footage you got, like of the aerial shots, was incredibly smooth. How did you do that? Were you in

creative mode? I was flying in creative mode, and I turned off all the graphic interface thing, and I turned on cinematic mode as well so that that adds like smooth pans and aerial shots it's pretty I also noticed your Minecraft gameplay seemed pretty good were you wearing enchanted armor no but I was drinking a lot of Mountain Dew and I had like the gamer goggles on that they they sell you at

games GameStop I don't know what you're talking about well let's make fun of Susan Wojcicki I think she's really hot so yeah it's porn pg-13 i mean like if we're not talking about it directly like talking about what's happening can we talk about a panda's hentai addiction that's what we're getting to right just put a black bar over mika's face. He won't be part of this one. Fuck, I can't believe he... I can't believe his internet died. I can't believe he lost connection. Where did he go? Oh my god.

To the podcast right at the wrong time. A panda. I wanted to hear what Mika said. Tell us about hentaihaven.org. That's not what I use. You don't? I use a Twitter account. Shit, I mean, that's what I use.

You don't watch hentai. You don't watch hentai. You don't watch hentai. I'm going to be real honest. I don't know how you could beat your meat to a good hentai. The fuck? To a good hentai? No, to any hentai. You said...

That's what I meant, any hentai. Like, I can't get, like... How do you beat your meat to hot women? It's a drawing. It's just a little weird to me. I can't personally find myself. They're both flat. They're both on a screen.

It looks like I'm fapping to a cartoon. You know what I'm saying? I mean, it looks like it. I can't get down with that. I can't get down with that. I personally like the animation. You're going in and just analyzing it, like rating the animation out of 100?

Yeah, I'm more about the plots than the actual things that go on if you catch my drift. Oh, he's cultured. Oh, yeah. Wow. What's your favorite plot line that you've seen so far? Well, there's this one where these big ogres, they come in and they're in a dungeon. And then there's this one girl. Oh, my God.

Is this Goblin slayer they're really big and weird tell me what happens i don't want a panda what what what what do the ogres do? Oh, God. All right, so one's at the front and one's at the back. And it goes like that for half of it. Just slamming hard. I love how this is the most talkative you've been all podcast.

And it's about a hand sign. I got a lot to say about it. People think I'm kidding. I watch that shit religiously. That's not something you should be bragging about right now. Oh, no, I'm proud of it. He made a rap song about it. Can we play the rap song? Can we not?

Let's play the rap. I'm going to copyright strike this. Play the rap song. I'm fucking copywriting it. I'm coming back into this conversation. Mika, you're back! And I hope there was nothing inappropriate said while I was gone. Yeah, totally wholesome.

We didn't talk about anything weird. How were you when you were gone? I, um... Pikachu fucked my wife? Oh, he's gone. Yeah, I can't wait for the call to see it. Is that Pikachu fucking this year? yeah can we from the coffee that you can How are you? Feeling great now that we kicked a panda off the podcast. That was really loud. So what did you think?

Stay calm, stay calm. Don't make any sudden movements. Can we conduct the rest of this podcast in sign language? More is good. Listen, I'm just thinking about A Quiet Place. I saw that movie a few weeks ago. It was great.

I saw it also. Would you think... I didn't think the whole silent movie thing would work well, but shit. Well, for starters, I feel incredibly guilty for buying popcorn. I actually I have this thing where I like to go into movies not knowing anything at all. So I just heard the title and knew it was good because people were telling me to go watch it right so i you know i just bought my regular popcorn going into the movie expecting

a fun time and then five minutes in i'm like god i have a popcorn story so i went to see it and the kid in front of me it was like some middle school date and they were they were sitting in front of me the dude got a huge thing of popcorn but he obviously came to the same conundrum you did where he couldn't fucking eat it so he was like squishing it against i'm not kidding squishing it against his teeth so it would like crumble in front of his mouth and then he was just like swallowing it it was fucking disgusting it was the worst why did you it? Because he was right in front of me. This is really in-depth. And I had to listen to him do it.

Because you can hear it crunching against his teeth. And he did it the whole movie. Oh, bad times. Good movie, though. Great movie. Yeah, I think it's a good movie. I'm really happy for John Krasinski, too. Yeah, he's came a long way.

Jim from The Office getting some respect yeah especially because yeah like he has the type of like personality where you feel like he'd be typecasted yeah like he would never do anything again after that yeah it's nice that he's actually making his own movies yeah no dude i got uh i got five guys before a quiet place. Dude, I had five guys today. Did you? Yeah. What'd you get? I got a burger. Really? You got a burger at five guys?

A generic cheeseburger, yeah. Dude, they put two patties in it. I know. They stuffed the bag with french fries. A little weird how they got peanuts out in the open. I don't know about that. What happened? You go to Five Guys?

I see Five Guys every weekend. Does that count? In what context do you see Five Men? They have the best meat, that's for sure. Yeah. Yep. Juicy. Crazy how mika just lost connection again