Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #51

Episode Date: February 13, 2022

the boys talk about airplanes for 31 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody, welcome back- Can I do the intro? Can I do it? Hey everybody, welcome back to Sleep Deprived Podcast Episode 51! Woohoo! Yeah, man! Yeah, man! Did you guys like our Minecraft Skyblock Let's Play? Should we do more of it? Is it out yet? No, it hasn't been uploaded.

Do you think this is going to come out before that? That'd be really funny. It's like the Discord thing, because as far as the audience knows, it never will happen and never has happened. Yeah, it could just be a bit. They'll never know. No, no, no. I do assure you guys, it could just be a bit. They'll never know. No, no, no. I do assure you guys,

it did get filmed. And I do actually hate this film. It really did. Yeah, it really, really did. It actually happened. I really hate it. Oh, and at the end of this episode, we're going to tell you about it. Yeah, we'll tell you all about it at the end of this episode.

Anyways, guys, 51. The big 5-1. What the hell? Area 51. So what are we going to talk about today? Well, you know, now that we're getting up there in the numbers, I think we should talk about some really mature stuff. And that's why I think it would be great to talk about Nintendo Direct

and making predictions. Because we're adults. Amazing segue. Thank you. I've been practicing my segue skills. Like Paul Blart. Yeah, like Paul Blart, like the creator of segue. Shout out to that guy.

What do you think will happen in Nintendo Direct? Here's what I think. I don't give a fuck. It's not going to be Mario Kart, and so I don't care. Because Nintendo is the dumbest company on the fucking planet, and they don't care about the IP that makes them their most money. And so,

yeah, nothing's going to happen. Nothing's going to get released, announced. Nothing like that. There's not going to be even a cool little gimmick in this next Mario. It's probably just going to be fucking sideways, upside down bullshit again. What if it was VR, though? Like, how cool would that be? It won't be. The Switch can't even fucking do that.

Come on, bro. You're so stupid. I... That'd be cool. You just ruined my childhood, man. Yeah, what the frick, Schlatt? Oh, this is my fault now? Oh, this is my fault now? Oh, this is my fault now? This is not my fault.

This is not my fault. I actually didn't know that Mario Kart was the thing that made Nintendo the most money. I thought it would be like Pokemon or something. Well, I'm just speaking out of my ass, really. But I know that it was the best selling Switch game, right? And it's not even made for the switch it was made for the fucking wii u

okay that's pretty sick that's pretty sick what is sick about that it's you know you're a simp you're a nintendo simp that's what it is maybe a little i uh i definitely do ride for nintendo except sometimes i think they're pretty annoying like when they uh are just so backwards with their mentality about like music and keeping their music off of anything whoa that segway is pretty good big ups on that one that one was a lot better, thanks, man. You're improving at a high rate. I have machine learning. I'm actually not human. Beep boop. I am a cyborg. Jambo, what are you doing, my cat Jambo?

What you been up to, young fella? You been up to anything cool? Doing anything nice for the weekend? Hey, guy. Man, Jambo's so cute. If I had a cat like Jambo, I would take care of him no matter what. I would just, like, make sure he has access to food and water and all that stuff. If I had a cat man

I would take care of him no matter what I would definitely let him into the room and let him eat I'd definitely hang out with him I'd pet him once a week I would make sure he had access to his toys

and stuff and his litter box so true hey he had, like, access to his toys and stuff and his litter box. So true, so true. Hey, Appana, you wanna fucking talk about what you just posted? Not really. Excuse me, man? Are you sure I won't catch Corona? What?

Nah, different bat meat. Appana just posted Batman cock in the discord there's no cock anywhere that is an implied cock what do you think it's like a water bottle asho for your information that's just the Batman logo you don't know

you don't know what's behind that you don't know what's behind that you're both dumb that is obviously the bat know what's behind that. You're both dumb. That is obviously the Bat-Signal. No, Mika, that's what I said. You said it's the Batmobile. Apparently... Did I? I did not fucking say that.

You said it's Batwoman, you idiot. I don't know what the fuck I was saying. You said it was the Wolverine, you fucking moron. Okay, now you're lying. Now that's just a straight up lie. I did not say that. I can't believe you said that. Here, how about this, guys?

Do you guys ever cough and fart at the same time? It's like taking a screenshot. Because I just did that earlier. And, um... What do you mean it's like taking a screenshot? You know how on the iPhone, if you press the off button and the volume button? At the same time? Yeah.

That's what it felt like. You know, sometimes listening to you, a panda, is... I'm not mad, I'm just really disappointed. What's up, freak bitches? Welcome back to another Syncopy Podcast. I need me a freak bitch. Yo, Ash. Don't we all, man.

You my freak bitch. Well, okay, if you say so. Fuck, yeah. What does this imply? What do I do as a freak bitch Well, okay If you say so What does this imply? What do I do as a freak bitch? Like what kind of activities Do I participate in? Mini golf, not normal golf Because that's boring as fuck I fuck with mini golf

I love mini golf I draw the line at regular golf Because mini golf is just a fun time. You know, you go, you play for an hour or two, and that's it. Golf is an all-day thing. Outside, and hot, and you're sweaty. Listen, you've got swamp ass, and you're wearing light khakis, and then the swamp ass starts to form on the actual pants,

and it looks like you shat yourself. Like Trump. Like Trump did. Yep. It's like playing a golf game on dial-up internet where it's like you have to load the next like why would i do that when i could just play mario golf you know yeah so true i've never played mario golf honestly i've heard good things about it you know can't the Chain Chomp play Mario Golf? I feel like I've seen that. The Chain Chomp playing Mario Golf.

Yeah, he stands up on the chain and then his head is like... Erected, yeah. He just gives it a swing. You know? Invisible hands. Gives it a go. Ball goes flying. How does Boo hold that shit? That was tennis. I was wrong. It's tennis. Boo's a ghost. How flying how does that might have been tennis that was tennis i was wrong it's

tennis boo's a ghost how's he holding that shit doesn't make a lot of sense well you know a lot of things about mario don't make sense like boo can hold on to the back of a double dash cart without even touching it like he just kind of like he like you know he's like i just thought he was floating like at the same speed as the car like he adjusts his his speed to go along with the car if that's true then why does boo need a cart like he could just you know that's a good point like he could just enter the race as himself and then he doesn't have to have a bulky cart he like could save space could like he's kind of like ilnam from squid game like he's just of like ilan from squid

game like he's just trying to like live through he's not trying to you did not just make a fucking squid game reference he doesn't want people to know he doesn't want people to know 2022 really good at the game holy shit you said squid game have you guys heard of among us oh dude fortnite battle bus dude i've been playing so much fort. Do you guys want to do squads? No. Please, dude. I'm so good. Oh my god. You won one Fortnite game.

I won so many Fortnite games. I'm actually undefeated. I could carry you all. Look, man. Fortnite's fun as fuck. It's so fun. Can you do the thing where you, like, build a

tower in, like, two seconds? No, I can't. Then I don't want to play Fortnite with you. You're bad. Fortnite, listen. It's fun. Fortnite's for pussies who build like that. I've seen those clips. Like, you shoot at some guy once and then he builds a fucking Twin Towers.

Yeah. That's Minecraft shit. I don't build. I don't like building. But you're at a strategic disadvantage if you don't. Don't you just lose then? You're at a disadvantage, sure, but

I think it's better just... it's better than Okay, that's just ridiculous Shalette. That's just That's just silly. But it's better than other, uh, what are those? Battle Royales? Yeah.

It's better than other Battle Royales. How? Why? It's colorful. You can literally kill Rickick rick morty and sasuke like i i killed a few sasukes yesterday it was fucking that's why you like it that's why you like dude it's it's no it's not meme skins they're content you're a freak whatever you know i'm kind of maybe if i say it enough people will support it but you know since we did a sleep deprived minecraft what if we did a sleep deprived fortnight please i would carry

oh my then everyone could see how bad you are see how good i am i'd rather die so world war three huh dude remember at the start of all this corona shit when everyone I'd rather die. So World War III, huh? Dude, remember at the start of all this corona shit when everyone thought World War III was going to happen too? Am I just crazy? No, I remember that. Oh, dude, I remember that gif of American soldiers walking into an American flag and then coming out the other side as a coffin or some shit. I think Iran actually just posted that on their official state media accounts. Oh my god. There was some country that on their official media posted a full 3D render

of people sending in a drone and shooting Donald Trump. Oh my god. That's hard, though. And it had epic music going the whole time like edm it's kind of funny how other countries just don't give a shit about what they put on their official twitters because like uh didn't uh ukraine post something about putin and they were like what did they say it was a meme it was like that headache meme of the different spots of the head that hurt during each headache. Oh, yeah.

And then one of them was like, you know, frontal pain or like stress, right? And the last one was an entirely red head, just been scribbled red all over it. And it goes, living next to Russia or something. It's pretty good. Yeah, I would say that's kind of hard, especially when they're about to invade you and their military is six times the size of yours.

I'm rooting for them now. That's one of my favorite tweets. There's not many tweets I think could beat that. When you buy a mirror at Dollar Tree. If you read out a caption for a meme, when you buy a mirror at dollar tree if you read out a caption for a meme when they can't see it it makes you sound

like a when you buy a mirror at dollar tree you're turning into the Joker for the audio listeners it's a big fat monkey ripping off Pikachu's head. What?

For the audio listeners, it's Batman sticking his big fat bat cock in the mouth of another woman. It's a centipede's legs getting ripped off one by one. For the audio listeners, it's Kermit the Load. Kermit the Frog. What? Kermit the Load. Kermit the Frog. What? Kermit the Load. Kermit the Load.

Kermit the Load here. I'm gonna shoot a fat load. Mika. Yes? Come here. I'm gonna shoot a fat load on you. No, dude. I don't want that here's my fat load you can shoot a fat load all over me oh miss piggy that was not okay well i'm gonna shoot my fat load on you too

i'm gonna shoot you you guys guys are so crazy. What's going on? Someone help me. This hand on my ass sure feels good. Marge? Marge? Marge? Marge? Marge?

What do you want? Jack me off, Marge No, I I don't think I will Please, no I haven't felt the touch Of a pig in years Ew

Are you calling Marge a pig? No, I'm referring to Miss Piggy Who are you calling a pig? Who, I'm referring to Miss Piggy. Who are you calling a pig? Who's that? That's Miss Piggy. Or Mickey Mouse, I don't know. You're an idiot! Come here, Marge. We're leaving.

This is freaking sweet. Here, can you guys all do a Peter Griffin accent right now? Hey, Peter. Hey, Peter. Hey, Peter. That's Joe. Hey, Peter. That's the same guy, dude. Yeah, they're all the same dude.

That's true. Peter voices Stewie. He voices Brian. He voices that one, the grandfather or the dad of Lois. He voices that one the grandfather or the dad of Lois. He voices the doctor. I think I said that. He voices the mayor. Dr. Pewterschmidt.

Mr. Pewterschmidt. Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt. Hey, Mr. Pewterschmidt. Panda, do you like to sit in your room on, like, Thursday nights and just... Your 19 personalities? Talk to yourself like this.

Mr. Pewterschmidt. Mr. Pewterschmidt. Let's just let him do his thing for a minute. With the deuce, Brian, it's fucking Mr. Pewterschmidt. Instead of sleeping, Panda just talks to himself all night. Who in here is the most like Brian Griffin? That is an

insult, whoever you say. That is very true. Probably you, Panda. Dude, what the... No. If we're honest here, I'm more like Peter Griffin Why

I'm awful to my wife I don't care about kids The lowest Griffin voice you hear in your head Is not real Hey Peter Hey Peter in your head is not real. Hey, Peter! Hey, Peter! When you buy a mirror at Dollar Tree. Mika, laugh at him.

Yeah, man, keep it up. You know what, guys? I'm gonna leave this podcast for another one. People that treat me with respect. What the hell? You're leaving this podcast? I'm leaving forever. Wait, where are you going? What podcast are you going on?

Who knows? One that respects me. Wait, but none of them will do that. Oh, shit. No, I'm sure there's gotta be one out there. No, you think Jamie and Joe Rogan are gonna be like, oh, Panda really loved that When You Buy a Mirror at Dollar Tree you've been laughing at for the past 15 minutes. gotta be no no you think jamie you don't you don't think so yeah they're gonna be like oh

panda really loved that uh when you buy a mirror at dollar tree you've been laughing for the past 15 minutes it's so good how are you not laughing post more batman porn panda no it was oh my god you guys it was not batman poor first of all and the dollar tree thing is funny as fuck you're like jamie pull up uh pull up up Batman Rule 34 for me, please. It's not Rule 34. Oh, my God. Dude, it is Rule 34. It is not.

Do you see a penis anywhere? Hold on. I got to trim some of my hairs. Do we have a sponsorship for today? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That's a great segment. Yeah, funny that you mentioned it.

Yeah, wait. Is it Manscaped? We have two spots this day, and one of them is Manscaped. Whoa, we got two? Wait, hold on. I didn't know we could do two at once. Yeah, let's do them both at the same time. That's actually nuts, because I didn't even realize we had a Manscaped sponsorship, and I started

shaving my nose hairs with the Manscaped nose trimmer. Wow. How do you mention it? I've been holding a razor this whole time shaving my legs while we've been recording. Wait, you shave your legs? Yeah, so what?

Do you really? Sometimes. Can you send me a photo? Okay. Why do you shave your legs? I like shaving all my body hair. He shaves it so I can play with cars on it, so I can play with my...

Yeah, he used me as a racetrack pitch stop can I get a round of applause everybody guys this is what the brief says the first sentence in the brief is can I get a round of applause everybody start clapping this is such a Jeb Bush moment it actually says start clapping Can I get a round of applause, everybody? Start clapping. Start clapping.

This is such a Jeb Bush moment. It actually says start clapping. Today I'm excited to announce Manscaped launched their ultra-premium collection. Believe it or not, it's for your not-so-private parts. I'm talking about a leveled-up hygiene routine with your favorite manly scent. This is an all-in-one skin and hair care kit for the everyday man and covers you from head to toe to ball to cock to tits. Manscaped is trustable. Manscaped!

Now, trust them with the rest. Oh, yeah, the smell of man. Join the 4 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped by going to manscaped.com for 20% off plus free shipping with our new code. New code! Sleep Deprived 20. Sleep Deprived 20. Sleep Deprived 20 is the new code. Do not read. Host to talk about how Manscaped has helped your

confidence or the importance of finding a grooming routine. So a panda can actually talk about this. Why were you unconfident, panda? Look, man, my little hairs, right? My little hairs yeah i look like i looked like dj spit before he was censored and touched up a bit

like it was it was coming out it was disgusting but once i had oh god damn it you fucker just say mans manscaped, dude. Manscaped. Once I had... Come on, man. Once I bought the f***ing razor, everything f***ing fixed itself. Thanks, manscaped. Once I got a pair of scissors, I started cutting it. And then I got manscaped. And it cleaned it up right for me.

It was clean as a baby's bottom. That's such a weird analogy. Who thought of that? It's me. It was clean as a baby's bottom. That's such a weird analogy. Who thought of that? It's kind of weird, isn't it? You did. I didn't make that up. No, that's a thing people say. It was in your head, weirdo. Dude, that's a thing people say.

That's an expression. Listen, listen. You guys all know what the deal is with Manscaped. We love the products. They do razors. They do nose hair. They do ball toner. Like little sprays. Sometimes a little deodorant for your nut sack. But now, look, they've expanded. And it's

time to get ready for some Manscaped Premium Deodorante. No, not for your balls. For your stanky armpits. That's literally what the thing says. Stanky. Hydrating body spray. Have tattoos or issues with dry skin?

Well, this spray-on lotion is designed to keep your feeling skin feeling skin. Body wash. What? To lather you up with their infused aloe vera and sea salt shower gel. Two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. Plus a free gift. A three-step set of lip balm that's made with ingredients such as vitamin E, peppermint, and eucalyptus oil to keep those chappers feeling moist.

Guys, you got to go out. It's genuinely a good product. Yes. You guys got to go out and buy the ultra-premium collection from Manscaped using our code, SLEEPDEPRIVED20. This is such a good deal. You guys have already helped us out so much. There's a reason Manscaped keeps coming back to us and that's because we all like the product.

And we all buy the product. You know what's pretty exciting is we also have a second sponsor on this episode. We do? Yeah, we do. It won't be like this for all the time it's just you know we missed an episode so we got to put two and we did a minecraft let's play instead that's crazy

we actually watched that which is really real by the way and definitely coming it's actually real and definitely coming out but yeah so thanks for being patient this is the one time where well i shouldn't say the one time it might happen the point is thank you for being patient we got sponsored by nord vpn baby yeah now listen i'm the manscape guy i'm the manscape guy we all know this maybe someone else take point okay today we are sponsored by nord vpn and it's very cool vpns are very like awesome you know a panda likes to watch a lot of anime across country. Batman. Sometimes you can only get that Batman

in certain countries. Right, like it's only in Germany. You guys keep going with this, but I never sent Batman. And so for him to watch the Batman. Mika, it wasn't. He puts up the VPN, he sets his location to Germany or wherever, and he watches the batman

and that's great for him and that's healthy for him god and we love that about him i think all of us use a vpn nord vpn i've used a vpn to watch some shows that i couldn't watch in my country and i was like damn it feels like a whole new world has opened up to me. It was pretty liberating. Log into Netflix, watch Squid Game in another country, right, Schlatt? Squid Game? Dude, can you shut up? Love Il-Nam. It wasn't Squid Game, it was Drag Race. What?

I watched Drag Race with a VPN. Oh. So go watch Drag Race today with NordVPN. You can use our code, Deprived. That's right. Just the word Deprived. Our code is Deprived? You're kidding me.

NordVPN.com slash Deprived. Why didn't they do Sleep? Or like, podcast. Sleep podcast. Deprived..com slash deprived. Why did they do sleep? Or like, podcast. Sleep podcast. Deprived. So what do they get if they use the code? Do they get any bonuses? Yeah, hold on. Give me a second.

Holy shit, that is actually hilarious. Deprived. Deprived. You guys have to do this now, man. You have to do this. You have to go to the site. Please tell us. If you go there today, you can get a two-year plan plus one month free and a gift. 30-day money-back guarantee.

Check it out. It helps us out. We can get paid. If you don't get this spot, if you don't buy Notre Dame, we're going to be deprived. Okay? Thank you. One month free. You might as well try it.

Speaking of deprivation, I found this funny thing on the internet the other day that I want to share with you guys. It was on Reddit and it's on this r slash am I the asshole? And for those unfamiliar with it, it's basically people asking if, you know, they're the asshole in a situation. So let me read this out to you. Sure. So this is a 25 year old woman writing about a 28 year old male.

Based. Yeah, pretty based. My husband and I are expecting a baby. As they know, there is a new batman movie releasing on early march my husband is a big fan of that stuff and wants to see it opening day the issue is that our estimated due date is exactly on that day i know that only a fraction of babies are actually born on the exact due date but i've always been very regular on my periods and i have a feeling that i may be one of those cases he says it is important to see the movie the first day because of spoilers

and that even if i end up having the baby that day while he is watching the movie at worst he would arrive a few hours late and it's not such a big deal he says i am being irrational and emotional because of being pregnant i am upset because I feel deprioritized by him. Am I the asshole? What do you guys think? Yes. Listen, if your hubby has to watch Avengers Endgame, then he

has to. Yeah, that's a male boss. I'll be honest, I tuned out in the second sentence because I have ADHD and I'm really sorry Could you read it again Yeah um yes my husband is giving birth And I the wife want to go see Batman Your husband's giving birth

Wait you have a husband Yes my husband is giving birth Yes my husband is giving birth And I the wife want to You are a wife So yeah you're the wife I'm a wife yes want to. Wait, you have a, you are a wife? So, yeah, you're the wife. I'm a wife, yes. Okay, that's based.

And my husband is pregnant, and I want to. Wait, I thought, who's pregnant? My husband. I'm pregnant. Okay, Schlatt's pregnant. Schlatt's my husband. Okay, you're the asshole. Mika, you're the asshole.

Am I greganent? You're very greganent. Wait, why am I the asshole for wanting to go see Batman with that hot hunk? Dude, fuck it, you're an asshole. Yeah, Batman sucks, man. What are you talking about? That hot hunk of man is in that movie? So, I don't know, you had sex with Batman, and Batman is pregnant with your child, but

your husband is not Batman, and Schlatt's Gregnan? I'm fucking Gregnan, dude. Get me out of this. I don't understand. Okay, I don't care if you're gonna give birth to Greg. I don't care if you're Gregnan. I wanna go watch Batman with that hot hunk of man. Wait, so Batman's gonna go to the movie theater, and he's giving birth with Schlatt, and they're

giving birth to Greg from, like, Diver and Wimpy Kid in the theater while they're watching Batman, and you're the husband? Yes. No, I'm the wife in this. You got me, stuff. Okay, yeah, you're the asshole. Is it so much of an asshole move to want to go watch batman while your husband is in like hours of painful labor and obviously needs my support and

like like will feel so isolated if i'm not there and will just like probably be extremely depressed if i miss the birth of our only child the The husband has his priorities straight. It's such an overreaction and such a non-issue. You know what being pregnant's like? It's like holding in a big poo. It's not that big of a deal. Yeah, you just shit it out at the end of the day. What, eight months? That's like no time at all.

Nine, but you know what? Kidding. Slay. Schlatt, you know a thing or two about anatomy? Yeah, man. I know all my way around a... Oh! Around

that. You were very quick to point out that a pregnancy is nine months, not eight. Yeah, of course. I think he really is pregnant. I'm pregnant, bro. I'm Pregante. Is that the name of that pasta sauce? Yeah.

Pregante? Wait, that's Prezzo. Yeah, that's Prezzo. Prezzo has funny fucking tweets, dude. Who's Prezzo? I've never heard of him in my life. It's a pasta sauce. Honestly, I kind of want to push that big belly and see if it goes anywhere else. It's a pasta sauce. Honestly, I kind of want to push that big belly

and see if it goes anywhere else. Like it's like a bubble, you know? Oh my god. Like whatever all went to his head and he turns to a bobblehead. You realize like Schlatt is like days before giving birth and you're torturing him like this.

Imagine getting a big hammer and hitting a pregnant Grig. God, dude. What the hell, man? You need to be institutionalized. Usopp has this giant hammer, and I'm just thinking about hitting Grignan with that. You're the asshole.

That's what I've decided. I think you're the asshole. You're the asshole, Panda. Maybe I am the asshole. I's what I've decided. I think you're the asshole. You're the asshole, Panda. Maybe I am the asshole. I'm getting out of here. Why? I'm getting out of here. No, you're not.

Yeah, I am. Watch me. Watch me. Nope. No, no. Yeah, watch me. No, no, no. Watch me get the fuck out of here right now.

Don't do it. Wait, dude. You haven't you haven't even talked about why you hate discord yeah we're gonna talk about that episode 52 it'll be a year it will be a year of episodes the podcast will officially have been going for a year

I think we should do that oh okay you like that yeah next episode we'll talk about it and also next episode is when we release the minecraft let's play that we literally recorded and we're not joking it's real yeah yeah that's giving birth next episode as well so

buh buh buh buh