Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #54

Episode Date: March 6, 2022

the boys talk about airplanes for 31 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mika hold him up Prepare to put the elixir in I don't feel like it No force his mouth open to Panda He's so heavy he's so large Okay I'll do that Ew oh wait he's moving Bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop

Bloop bloop bloop bloop That's the elixir going in He's back Oh my god! What was that delicious concoction? It was c***. I love you. Everybody, welcome back to Sleep Deprived Podcast episode 54.

Yeah. I'm back. It's all echoey. I'm in a new setting new location new podcast uh the graveyard guys why'd you why is jacking off the first note for this podcast i thought we could talk about it okay go for it all right well jacking off is when you put your hand on the thing

and then you go up and then... No, you gotta say it, dude. Penis. You put your hand on your cock. I'm not comfortable saying that. Mika, you take it. You're not comfortable saying that and yet you're comfortable putting that

as the very first topic for the podcast. I think we have to say... We have to have a little disclaimer. The penis has to be erect. Well, I mean, you could jack off without it being erect. It just wouldn't be a good thing. Can you come off soft? Is that a thing? Yeah.

Really? You can come soft? Yeah. Have you? No, no. Well, how would you know that? I didn't know that. You think I would know that? I didn't know that You think I would know that I know all about the cock That you can cum soft I think you can

I think if you try really hard enough you can get it done Should we make a focus group? Yeah we can work on it We should find people and make a subreddit And watch them interact with each other What do you think Kanye West would Think of what you're saying right now? Have you guys seen his penis?

No. Are you going to share it? It's out there if you really want to find it. I don't. I'm going to look for it. What does it look like? It's kind of hard to see. It's a little obscured but I guess it's on the lengthier

side, maybe. I can't believe I'm a little obscured, but I guess it's on the lengthier side. Maybe. I can't believe I'm looking this up. It's old. It's pretty old. Here it is. No, that's not the image, Astro. I get it. He's a dickhead. Astro, get your money up, not your

funny up. I can show you guys. Not'd love to see not mine not mine but dude this is awesome i'd love to see the penis wow that does not look real at all that's not it is it does not look real it's real doctor photo Why are there like 19 watermarks on it? No, it's not a real photo. Who would watermark a cock? Dude, Anthony Fantano said it was real, which means it must be real. How does Anthony Fantano know it's real?

Because he's an old Kanye fan. Yeah, he can cross-reference it from when he's seen it in real life. Dude, you know what else Anthony Fantano has seen in real life? Your cock. No, the new starter Pokemon. He has? Yeah. Dude, you know what else Anthony Fantano has seen in real life? Yorkop. No, the new starter Pokemon. He has? Yeah. What are they called?

Fuecoco, Quebblecop, and Fornicus. Quebblecop. Did you say Fornicus? Yes. Fornicus? Yeah, Fornicus. Is Quaxly the one named Fornicus? There's's no quacks so you're thinking of quebel cop okay see i would have thought that quebel cop is named fornicus because since he has the pompadour like he he's probably like you know like desired pompadour i

don't think you saw the starters man no like he's got that hair you you know? The JoJo's hair. No, Quabalcop is bald. It's a bald ape. Quabalcop isn't bald. I think you might be thinking of Fuecoco, the one you mentioned. No. Like... Elden Ring. What's that? I hate to say this. I don't give a shit about elden ring what i've never played it

i don't play video games it's just not something that that excites me anymore no i i don't play video games either then you're lying because you're playing elden ring no i'm playing elden ring is what you've been saying no yeah but like. But, like, I don't play any other games aside from Isaac. That's all I do. You play Isaac all day, bro? I don't play Isaac all day. I occasionally play Isaac. You keep backfiling every time he says it. Jesus Christ.

You're full of lies. I don't play video games except two. And maybe a little Minecraft here and there. That's three. You said, I don't play any video games, and you've listed three video games. Well, no. To be fair, also I play on the Switch. Oh, my God.

You love video games. No, I don't. I barely play them. You might be the biggest gamer on this podcast. That is not true. Name a bigger gamer. You kind of sound like a gamer. Name one bigger gamer.

You. No. I don't play video games yes you do I'm gonna check your steam information don't do that modern warfare 2 he's played modern warfare 2

recently yes he did I saw it last night when I was playing Elden Ring his steam thing came up it was modern warfare 2 what do you have to say for yourself cut it out don't cut this out moist cut it out no don't cut this out moist i don't let the people know i don't play video games yes you do

schlatt plays video games i don't i literally don't i literally don't jackbox jackbox yeah i have not played that game in exactly a year actually oh jam, stop using your claws on me. No, no, Schlatt, don't you play that game, you know, the one where you're a truck driver? Oh, truck driver simulator? Yeah, don't you play that? Yeah, I do play it sometimes. Well, so you play games.

But I haven't played a game in like three weeks, I'm not going to lie. February was a very dry month for me. Oh, you were sober and soft? No, I definitely was not sober. I have a drinking problem. Were you soft? Oh, I just killed Bloody Finger and Noridius.

Yeah, I was soft and I was jerking off at the same time. Mika, are you playing the game right now? Let's go, dude. No. What did you just say? say sorry talk about your alcohol addiction no no what did you what did you just say are you playing Elden Ring as we're recording the podcast

no no that'd be really like irresponsible that would be not only would it be you are you are that wouldn't even be irresponsible it'd just be like rude and like dismissive of of the job we have mika is playing it right now it says it on steam do you even care about the podcast oh my god yeah summon i'm i'm not playing elden ring i just have

it logged on mika tap in so do you even care about the podcast tell me that right now you care about me mika because i'm about to take i'm about to take all your money i care about the podcast i'm literally looking at my audacity waveforms recording as we speak i i don't have it what monitor is it on huh i only have one monitor is that true true? Yeah. That's sad. I feel bad for you. Why? I don't think I could survive on one monitor. I don't have the attention span for two monitors.

Sorry, Schlatt, you were about to say something. No, no. Oh, that's crazy that you care about how the podcast is going because you're playing Elden Ring. I'm not playing Elden Ring. It's really nice of you man. It's really nice of you to play Elden Ring during the recording. You don't even care about us man. I'm not playing Elden Ring.

You know what? Fuck you guys. I'm doing the fucking ad read. I'm doing the fucking ad read. Because no one cares. Wait why? But it's like way too soon. And I'm not playing Elden Ring.

I'm doing the fucking ad read. But it's like way too soon. Don't even act likeen Ring. I'm doing the fucking ad read. But it's like way too soon. Don't even act like you care, Mika. We're like 10 minutes in, bro. I'm sorry. You know that if you were paying attention to the fucking recording and not playing Elden Ring. During the one job you have. Actually, we usually record 20 minutes into the podcast.

No, we don't. Introduction. Splish splash. I was taking a bath and I noticed I have beautiful balls. What? Was that the ad read or just you? No, I'm doing the ad read right now. That's the first sentence.

Our friends have manscaped. Well, are they our friends anymore? The global leaders in below the waist hygiene are turning men's shower dreams into their favorite routine with the all-new Ultra Premium Collection. This all-in-one hygiene skin and hair bundle is designed to upgrade the everyday man's shower routine from head to toe to ball to cock to nut to dick to tip. It does not say that.

Shut up. No way. They actually wrote that. So you can save big by going to manscaped.com for 20% off plus free shipping with the code sleep deprived. Sleep deprived 20. It changed. Oh, sleep deprived 20. I'm being told it changed.

Who's paying attention now, Schlatt? Ooh. Talking points. Do not read host to talk about his slash her personal use of the products or a funny shower story i have a funny show oh you can go ahead of panda i have one too that i can share so i love legos when i was younger. Did you actually find that funny, Shalette? No. You know, Shalette,

I'm not liking your energy right now, man. Well, maybe if someone didn't fuck up the whole vibration of the podcast, it wouldn't be an issue. Then who would that be? Who did that? Oh, you know who it is. You know exactly who it is. Who?

Astro. Oh, my God. Astro, what the fuck is your problem? Astro, what the hell, man? You fucked up the fives of the whole podcast. I have a funny shower story. Mika, you can't hop in this, Mika. No, I can because he falsely accused me of playing Elden Ring.

I'm gonna check Steam if you actually are, because I don't- You literally just said, oh, I beat the fucking boss or whatever. You actually said that. The Blood King Fell Lord. Anyways, Astro, what's your funny shower story? just said oh i beat the fucking boss or whatever you actually said that fell lord anyways astro what's your funny shower story i i just jacked off while i was soft and then i came do i have you on steam funny shower story man i do um a pan and i'll send you my steam after this how the fuck do you not my steam i want all the viewers to know this it never came up i don't know man it's deeper than black and white mika there's a lot of gray area here man's gonna love this ad um my my funny shit my funny shower story is this one time I was in the shower, and then I was sucking up the water into my mouth and spitting it out to make fireworks. Yeah, and then I slipped and cracked my skull.

Anyways, guys, get 20 20 off plus free shipping with the code sleep deprived 20 at manscaped.com what do you guys think kanye west thinks of uh shampooing do you think he has any funny shower stories i think he's got a funny pete story that was a pretty sick segue what the fuck was that music video i think it was fucking awesome he's like yeah i made this song then he goes and hires an animation company to do a stop motion thing of him killing another man it's honestly badass it is pretty badass i wonder how pete thought i think the general opinion is that what he did is psychotic, and he needs help. Yeah, but have you ever looked at Pete Davidson?

I just want to do the same thing to him. Yeah. Kind of relatable. I have looked at Pete Davidson. He's, you know... Let me just explain it to you this way, Mika. Let's say you're married to a woman for years, and then you divorce,

and she immediately hooks up with Pete Davidson. How would you feel? I would feel, like, pretty bad about it. You have multiple kids, and now Pete Davidson is your baby daddy. Don't get me wrong, I would... Wait, no, how could Pete Davidson be my baby daddy unless he's on the plane? I never thought I'd hear you say baby daddy. Yeah, say it again, Schlatt.

It's all right, man. Listen, I'm not going to listen to you, anything you say anymore, man, because you're not even taking this podcast seriously. You're just playing fucking Elden Ring. I'm going to make that stop-motion animation about you. I'm not playing. And then I'm going to bury you.

Okay, I'm not playing Elden Ring. Okay, I'm not playing Elden Ring. Nah, you're playing with my heart. Okay, let's ignore the fact that I have a crippling addiction to Elden Ring. And let's just all take a chill pill. Schlatt, I'm sorry I hurt you with my addiction. This is what

happens when you're an addict. Now hold on, I gotta dodge these bears. You're guilt tripping. You're guilt tripping me. You are gaslighting right now. Hey, Mika, what is your experience with fighting the Erdtree burial watchdog at the minor Erdtree catacombs? Oh, okay. a lot of difficulty with the Erdtree Burial Watchdog at the Stormfoot Catacombs, and also

the... The Dragonkin Soldier of Noxtella? No, I haven't fought the... He seems like an optional boss, so I actually passed through him, but I'm actually going through Limgrave and trying to fight all the bosses. I just cleared the Weeping

Peninsula, and I definitely did get the Burial Tree Watchdog at the Impaler's Catechum. Oh my god, shut the fuck up. Dude. What do you think Kanye West would think of what you just said to me, Schlatt? I think Kanye would love it. He'd add

onto it. He'd be like, also, find God. Yeah, that's true. Find God. Why did he say that? That's so funny. He said it twice, too. Find God. Come back to me when you've found God. Dude, he's literally on another plane. Who would say that to their person?

To their employee? To their person? To their person. Bro, my mind's broken. Stop. Anyway, Mika, how was Rinala, Queen of the Full Moon? Oh, I struggled a lot with Rinala, Queen of the Full Moon, but actually I came back last night with the golden halberd. So, Schlatt, I heard you moved.

Heard you moved, big guy. Mr. Schlatt, heard you moved moved hope you didn't see any flying dragons what i'm hanging with my cat jambo can you tell us without me no can you tell us about moving you killed me last time anyways why the fuck would i care well we had to we didn't kill him. We didn't kill you. You died. Yeah, you fell off of a semi-truck.

Yeah, you fell off of a semi-truck on the highway going 70 miles per hour. It was camp. Shut up, man. Shut up. I feel like tensions are a little high. Yeah, you're kind of sounding like the magma worm Makar right now, man. Let's tune it down you sound just like scaly miss begotten in the morgue you sound just like miranda the blighted bloom right now dude stop saying

these fucking astro if you played elden ring you would know that miranda the blighted bloom cannot talk as she is a plant okay whatever man stop mis man. Stop leonine misbegottening me. Is that the plant with the pink on it? No, it's the plant that shoots the poison. A panda? Shut up, you bell-bearing hunter. It's in the Tombsward cave. Whatever.

A panda, you are the kindred of rot. Oh, I think I know who that is. I don't know. I feel like he's more... Stone Digger Troll? Wait he's more... Stone Digger Troll? Wait, I beat the Stone Digger Troll. Oh, so you do play video games.

Elder Ring's the exception. Elder Ring's the exception. Can we just make peace with Schlatt and bring him back? Schlatt. Schlatt. Let's get Schlatt a maiden, huh? A maiden? Yeah. Did you say a maiden? Yeah, let's get Schlatt a maiden, huh? A maiden? Yeah Did you say a maiden?

Yeah, let's get Schlatt a maiden We can dress up a panda real cute What? What? I mean, if Schlatt's gone, I'm actually gonna play Elden Ring Oh my god, please Please no Astro, how does it feel to know you falsely accused a man

And, like, derailed the entire podcast? What? That was you! How? No you are maidenless I feel like there's been a lot of fighting this episode and I'm like not here I'm like not feeling it right now I'm like not really feeling it

I'm like really not feeling what's happening right now I'm like a liar I need not feeling what's happening right now it's like a lot for me to handle it's like a lot for me to handle right now I'm not really a big fan of what's going on right now oh my chakras are really not

winding up right now my legs hurt the rocks aren't really connecting well really not lying down right now. My legs hurt. The rocks aren't really connecting well. I feel better on the 13th moon. You can't trust them Scorpios, girl. I feel better after beating Rinala the moon. Hold on, let me rub this

healing crystal on my crown chakra. Hold on, let me rub the ceiling crystal on my crown chakra! I wish Schlatt was here to hear this. Oh, man. Yeah, whatever, you're maidenless. We just alleviated tensions right there. Yeah, Schlatt, come back! I don't think Schlatt gives a fuck about the podcast.

Yeah. You're probably right You know This is so funny Schlatt wants to talk about You know what If he's not gonna respect my Elden Ring addiction I'm gonna reveal some dirt Okay

Sing it Mika let's sing it I'm gonna do it to this grungy soundtrack. Here we go. A schlad accuses me of playing Elden Ring, which might be true. But I caught

him tweeting while we were recording the other day. Yeah. He's on Twitter when we're recording. What a hypocrite. Yeah. I gotta check this out.

That is really not jiving with my crown chakra. Wow, that was beautiful, man. Thanks. It came from a place of, like, rage. And also hurt. You guys clean behind your ears?

That's kinda gross, man. It's kinda gross. It's kinda gross, dude. It's like the guy version. It's kinda gross, dude. It's kinda gross, dude. Can you use that voice and can you say, hey, can I get a pack of magic cards behind the counter?

Hey, can I get a pack of magic cards behind the counter? Can you say, last night I just defeated the Dragonkin Soldier of Noxtella? And start off by saying, I'm Mikasakis. Bro, I'm fuckingika Suckis bro I'm fucking Mika Suckis dude with the deuce give me five with the deuce who says that with the deuce who the fuck says that

I don't know Stewie Stewie Griffin bro Schlatt really just left he actually is gone yeah that's what I'm saying, dude Oh my gosh Schlatt, you're like really messing with my ground

You're like really messing with my ground I'm on my bed right now I don't care Schlatt Have you heard this entire conversation? Come on, bro What? Say that again you're like really distant he sounds like a minion he's got minion syndrome you think we would ever get blowjobs from a

minion like oh yeah dude no the means would stand on top of each other so he could get it done. Oh, because they're so short. Yeah. Slatt's back, everybody. What we want. Now he's the purple minion. Slatt, we have to talk about the new Minecraft episode we recorded.

Oh, yeah. Wasn't the movie supposed to come out today? Really? Yeah, some Minecraft movie was supposed to come out today. There's a Minecraft movie? Well, no. That's the thing. It didn't come out.

You dummy. You dopey. Oh, wait. That was like three years ago. Are you serious? Yeah. Okay, what was the Minecraft movie about? Dude, it didn't come out.

They announced it three years ago and nothing happened. That's the thing. So they didn't say anything about the plot? Yes. They didn't give any other info except the fact that it would come out on march 4th but like what's it about oh my god no no i'm not asking that i'm asking like what happened to it did kanye west have something to do with this i really i really i really i just really can't today okay i really can't today i really can't today, okay? I really can't today.

I really can't today. I really am at my ends meet today. I can't do this right now. I can't do it today. There's a lot to deal with right now. Chakras are out of mind. I think Mercury is in retrograde, which is why my chakras are like this today. No, I could believe that.

Because if Mercury was in retrograde... He said Mercury. He said the word wrong. Oh, ho, ho, ho. Let's see, that's so... Oh, ho, ho, ho. No. Brian?

If Mercury was really in retrograde, a lot of bad, chaotic stuff would be happening. We would all totally go crackhead. Oh, ho, ho, ho. Oh, my god we're like acting like a bunch of dragons hold on wait hold on i hear him can you ask him if mercury is in retrograde is mercury metrograde i knew it i knew it. Come back on the podcast. Yes. All right.

Good. Welcome back, Ben. What up, Ben? Welcome back. Yo, Ben. Ready to see you, buddy? Benji, Benji. Ben, ass or tits?

Oh, he knows what I'm all about. No for boobs. Wait, no. Yes for tits. No for butt. He's thinking. Give him time. He, no. Yes for tits. No for butt. He's thinking. Give him time. He said yes.

No. So he's a butt guy. Oh, okay. Based. What do you think of the Kanye music video? No. Oh, he didn't like it. Yeah, no, he didn't like it.

I kind of liked it. Well, actually. Depends on the dog. What were you about to say, Schlatt? I was going to say, waitatt? I was going to say... Wait, what was I going to say? What the hell? What the heck was I going to say? It sounded like you were going to say I was an ass guy.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say Astro's definitely an ass guy. Yeah, and you're right. I think Mika's a tits guy. I think Mika's just one of those fuckers. I think Mika loves tits. M. I think Mika's just one of those fuckers. I think Mika loves tits. Mika loves titties.

Big titties. I'm actually a face guy. I love nice faces. I'm actually a personality guy. I'm a personality guy. I'm a personality guy. You know who else is a personality guy? You know who else is a personality guy you know who else is a personality guy

you know I'm a face guy shut up dude stop I respect the whole package oh my god really here we go I know that people are messy and not clean

and that's why I Accept people for who they are You do that way too well So you like messy girls? No. So you like ugly girls is what you're saying. You like it when they drool?

Wow. That's so cool, Mika, that you're accepting of all people. I guess that means you're into Hillary Clinton. I can't say I'm into Hillary Clinton. Maxwell Gislaine. Gislaine? No, definitely not. She's pretty vile.

You said you respect all women. I have standards, okay? I have standards. No. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran.

Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran. Bran.

Bran. Bran. Bran. We should actually talk about the Minecraft episode we recorded, though. Oh, yeah. It's coming out. Oh, dude. We're going to hit a thousand subscribers

we're gonna hit a hundred thousand subscribers on the channel today or like this has been the best thing ever you guys saw how many views the skyblock episode got i mean it did so well we're doing it again and we're probably gonna phase out the podcast let's be real yeah fuck this shit. I think people would get really sad and upset to hear that. Fuck them. Oh no. My podcast isn't aligned

to my chakra. Chakra. So, yeah, thanks everyone for... So, guys, we did it. Thank you all so much for 100,000 subscribers. We are actually going to cut the 100,000 plaque into four pieces and scatter them across the globe.

One of us will have each of them. And we're going to... We should. And we're gonna I think it was a viewer who gave us this idea, so thank you. And yeah, we going to wear them as amulets.

Then one day, we're going to reconnect the pieces. We're going to put all the fourths together, and that's going to summon a portal. To where? To being done with the podcast. Once they all get united, then the podcast is actually over damn

we should expedite this we should i'll request the plaque tomorrow dude that'd actually be sick yeah schlatt like heart to heart how do you feel about this podcast? Mika, you know what I think? I think to him it's a waste of time. I'm going to end the podcast. Believe it. Believe it. believe it believe it no you want me to be honest bro this is something we've been doing for i mean before any of us were uh we're on the map and uh it's so good to see that we haven't changed anything we're still us four we're still doing the same shit we used to and now people are starting to like it more and youtube's starting to show it to more people so i am happy about it i'm really pissed off with

you mika in particular but the rest of the guys are all right i'm all right do you think how yeah listen you should stop you should stop talking in my podcast thank you how can we make amends maybe just fucking close well i mean mika if you want me to be honest first of all you can close eldering but second of all it all kind of started when we did that first episode and you left after six and a half i was like so excited to start this podcast with you and then i remember we were filming it and then like i was so excited i was like yes this is gonna turn into something beautiful and you're like oh i have to And I thought I genuinely, unironically thought it was a joke because I didn't think you could fuck me so hard.

Damn, Schlatt. Well, when you put it that way, I'm sorry. I feel a lot of remorse and regret over that. Yeah. But it's cool, though, because we just hit 100,000 subs. Let's go. Let's go. Let's get it. Let's's get it sleep deprived forever code deprived

sleep deprived 20 deprived gang forever deprived deprived on three one two three