Sleep Deprived Podcast - Sleep Deprived Podcast #9

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

the boys talk about airplanes for 24 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. Hey, what the hell? That's Schlatt's role. Yeah, I'm usually the guy that says it. What the hell? Well, go on, do it. Alright. Hey, what's going on guys? Welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. Ah, it's weird now. No, hold on, it's weird now. It's a little different, I gotta admit.

What's the problem? After a panda did it, I don't feel like you doing it is is cool anymore oh so i just lost the job so i just lost the job huh you're firing me from my own podcast i don't think you lost the job it's just the vibe is after all the work i've done i'm out of the group huh no no no you're you're fired you're fired. It's like that thing that president says. Can we talk about the Hillary Clinton thing? Stop. The video.

There's a video of her spitting phlegm into a cup that we watched before this. Panda linked it to us. And she's just giving a speech, and she's coughing coughing and she goes... And then she pulls up a huge glass cup full of water and then she... Spits two... She spits two globules into the cup. Globule. And I don't know what they are. It's my favorite video. Why is it your favorite video?

This is completely unpolitical. This has no... We are not attaching any political commentary to this whatsoever. It's just a very weird personal choice. Explain yourself. Please explain why you like the video so much. It's, it's very, it's special, you know. I got a bunch of cereal delivered to my house today guys because I'm doing a

making a video where I review cereals and put them in a list and I have a list here and I want I want to gauge your opinions okay I think Cheerios is like a C grade cereal fuck you

just absolutely fuck you why i i just think that's abhorrent what's abhorrent about it cheerios are like god's gift to mankind you know you eat them when you're a kid yes they are they no they're not it doesn't matter you have to realize that you have to realize that C is decent. This isn't me saying that I hate Cheerios. This is just me saying that Cheerios are C. Are you saying they're boring? They're just decent. They're average.

Well, they are. They're objectively boring. It's just grain. Can they at least be a B? No one picks a C tier in Smash is the thing. You have to acknowledge that. I feel like it could be a B. Yeah? No, I don't think

they're a B. I think you specifically targeted me with this attack. I think you tried to make me angry just now. You're trying to piss me off. You don't put Cheerios in milk. Oh, I don't even eat them with milk. I just eat them with my bare hands. You eat them dry. You shovel your hand into the big-ass box

they always come in. Yeah, you put them in a plastic baggie, and I do that with Corn Flakes. Oh, my God. I got Corn Flakes on this tier list, too. I mean, that is an E tier. What the fuck? What? Corn Flakes are terrible.

You're a real piece of shit. And you know what? They come in even bigger boxes. They come in even bigger fucking portions than Cheerios do. Well, because they're for people who got to eat in the morning and stuff. I'm off to the factory. Got to eat some cornflakes. That's how people sound like in the morning. I'm off to the mines gotta eat

10 servings of cornflakes today with water in them I put water in my cornflakes the water is the best part what are you talking about I bring a little ziplock baggie and take cornflakes in them

I just shovel out of the little ziplock baggie as the elevator goes down into the rock. Then I come out with my pickaxe and I start swinging. Also another one that I think will be a little controversial. Do you guys enjoy Wheaties?

Oh no. What are Wheaties? That's grandma food. It's grandma food. Wheaties F. like yeah what are weedies that's grandma food it's grandma food it's grandma food weedies f well this yeah they got a weedy i mean i only know weedies i've never actually eaten weedies i just know them from the athletes they so frequently feature on the front of their boxes so right now this i got delivered a big box of weedies and there's serena williams on the front and not only do i not like the idea of eating wheaties i also don't like tennis so this is a real problem

for me tennis is for rich people the only people that play tennis are like rich harvard graduates you know that's true that's so true and then guess what then guess what sound they make when they hit the ball. What? What do they say? What do they do? Do they do that? I thought it was more. No, hold on.

I thought it was more of a. Well, it depends on the tennis player. I know for a fact Serena. I know for a fact that when Serena Williams hits the ball, she goes like this. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Somebody's gonna loop this and make it

into like a weird sensual video. You know what Venus Williams does? Oh! It's the same sound. It's the same sound. No, it's like a ah! They make's more of an ah! It's the same sound. No, it's like an ah! They make the same sound. They're twins.

Ah! Hi, Mika. What? Ah! Sorry, go ahead, Mika. Ah! This is a hell of a volley we got going. Sorry, go ahead, Mika. This is a hell of a volley we got going. It's so quick, too.

Like, they're almost asynchronous. Yeah. Are you guys playing with each other? Yeah. Yo, I'm serving. Ready? Yo, that was out. That was out.

No, it was in. We keep a volley going. We keep a volley going. Hit it, hit it, hurry. Hit it. Dude, it's not even. Oh, it's. Ow! Oh, that one's out.

I'm gonna need some toilet paper. My point. 15-0. You know what I think we should do right now? What's up? We should just role play like a serial mascot meeting. Wait, can I do my Count Chocula impression? Yeah.

Ah, ah, ah! Why does he sound like that? That one just doesn't make sense. No, that's what he sounds like, right? No, I just don't agree with that. Should I do it again to make sure? Yeah, I mean, we'll we'll no I won't do it I'm sorry

I think it's for the best what's that Jamaican stick with the apple you know what I'm talking about no no no that's cinemon that's cinemon what's that Jamaican stick with the apple it's funny you say this because like i was really obsessed with cinemon for like like a solid two weeks

yeah did you stan him did you stan cinemon yeah his name is cinemon and like his whole shtick is that he has, like, he has a feud with, like, his apple counterpart. Like, the evil apple. Cinemon. Jesus Christ. Do you guys remember the Airhead commercials where the kids' heads would, like, explode? Mm-hmm.

Used to give me nightmares. That stuff's creepy. Do you remember the Capri Sun commercials? Oh, yeah. That stuff's creepy. Do you remember the Capri Sun commercials? Oh, yeah. You step on it. Yeah, where the kid jumped on a blown up packet of Capri Sun. And then the kid next to him fucking got, he just popped. Oh, man.

What? Yeah. Oh, you don't remember this? There was a Capri Sun commercial. You remember the fruit roll-up commercial where the two kids are hanging out and it's like Ben and Gary and Ben like shoots Gary in the head with a gun? What?

Yeah, that one happened. That's not... No, that didn't happen. That's real. That didn't happen. Yo, remember when there was this episode of Ben and Jerry where Ben like tells Jerry like... Like...

He like... Ben goes oh do you guys like have you guys ever had this fear of that you're on the toilet and there's like a serpent monster that'll come up like genuinely wait you have a fear of thinking about if you're on the toilet no like like, I'm having a Hillary moment. But like, when you're on the toilet, when you're sitting on the toilet, when you're sitting on the toilet and you feel like there's a serpent on the toilet. Am I right, guys? Am I right, fellow memers? Don't say that shit when I'm drinking. Can people in the comments comment down below which cereal we are?

What cereal am I? I think you're Wheaties. No. That is not Wheaties, bro. I'm at least like Cocoa Puffs. You think you're Cocoa Puffs? Nah. I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Nah, dude.

Nah, I think you're Kix, bro. You're Raisin Bran. You're Captain Crunch, Shlatt. That's who you are. Ooh, Raisin Bran. I'm notuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Nah, dude. Nah, I think you're kicks, bro. You're Raisin Bran. You're Captain Crunch, Shalette. That's who you are. Ooh, Raisin Bran. I'm not Captain Crunch. Raisin Bran? There's no way I'm Captain Crunch.

You're Captain Crunch. No, I'm not Captain... If I'm Captain Crunch, then I'm oops, all berries. Nah, you're just the yellow ones. No. Just the regular ones. Don't you dare fucking tell me I'm just the yellow Captain Crunch. I mean, you have his jawline.

That is a lie. That's a lie. I have a very defined jawline. You do kind of look like Captain Crunch right now. The resemblance is uncanny. I am not the yellow pieces of Captain Crunch. It's a one for one, dude. All right.

At least give me Crunch Berries. Did you guys ever just take the frosted side of the mini wheats and then throw out the rest of it? What? Oh, you're doing a Hillary Clinton impression? That was good. No. No. You just...

Because... So I'm actually getting on a flight soon. Oh. No, like, you just, because, aren't, aren't like, aren't like me. So I'm actually getting on a flight soon. Oh, my God. I'll be flying somewhere, spending some time there, and then I'll be flying back home. Spending some time where? You didn't specify. I'm not going to tell you. Oh, okay.

So we're not good enough. You don't see us as friends? I just wanted to let you know that I'd be flying soon. But it's not as enthralling if you're not going to tell us where you're going. I know, I know. Can you tell me? Yeah, I'll tell you. No, you did this last week!

I'm pretty sure this is just part two in the saga of you trying to reschedule your JetBlue flight. So yeah, I have a flight coming up and I'm wondering whether or not I should wear like a gas mask or something, you know? Like, because things are getting kind of tough. I just want to make sure I'm being safe. I think you should wear two hazmat suits before you walk into the plane. Two of them? Yeah, I mean, the first one,

get a second one just to be safe. Right. It's like an extra layer of penetration. I think each finger should have its own hazmat suit. Yeah. And your head should also have a hazmat suit. Really? Yeah.

You know what? Maybe a third layer just to be safe. Third layer of hazmat? Yeah, just another one. You could get a different color. It could be like a blue one. Hazmat suits are only yellow. They only sell yellow hazmat suits.

No, you could get a custom one, I'm sure. I know John Hazmat. CEO of Hazmat Inc. Well, he's friends with Peter MSNBC so like you think they could come to some kind of deal maybe I want to just shout this out Peter MSNBC has ripped us off for two years

he hasn't brought us a single ad deal he has been ripping us off Peter MSNBC consistently for two years only OGs will remember Petereter msnbc i i unfollowed him on twitter i couldn't you did yeah i couldn't deal with him anymore i think he doesn't bring us anything who's that who's that that was who's peter msnbc who's that john hazmat is not gonna like this no he won't enjoy hearing this oh john i had a good hazmat joke not going to like this. No, he won't enjoy hearing this. Oh, John. I had a good hazmat joke. What happened to it?

You want me to say it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Among Us. You guys want to see what I bought yesterday? Yeah, sure. Can you turn your face cam on?

I will when I get it. That's cute, man. I hope you look really pretty in that. I'm going to look so cute. Can you give us a cat impression? Yeah. Oh my god. That's the most unsexual cat noise I've ever heard in my life.

Do it again. Wait, wait, wait. Are cat noises supposed to be sexual? Do it again. You're becoming like a cat girl. You know, it's got to be like. You sound like cats that are like 20 years old. Like they're dying.

This is a grandma's cat. She's had him around for years. John, I need sustenance. Garfield, you fat cat. Oh, hey, we forgot to say this. The podcast is now on Spotify. We totally forgot to mention at the beginning that the podcast is on spotify you're joking it's a joke wherever you can get audio wherever you can

get audio i mean you you can now just search up sleep deprived and listen to it maybe give us a review or something but it's all up there now no that's a lie it's actually not a joke i would never bow down to my corporate overlords and put our podcast on Spotify. That is disgusting. No, it's on Spotify. It's on Spotify. No, no. We asked our buddy Raymond Spotify to help us out.

And Raymond was like, oh, yes. And his little Swedish accent. He had to go above Peter MSNBC's head. Yeah, he did. To get it on there. And you're just going to disrespect him like this? He strong-armed him. And this is how you repay him, huh?

I don't like Raymond Spotify. I just don't like him. Say you're sorry to him. No, I don't like him. I'm not going to say sorry to him, okay? In my eyes, he's evil. Jeez. I've never had one good experience with him

what's your aversion to Spotify huh well Raymond I was at a party one time and I was hanging out with Raymond and he kind of looked at me and he looked down at his cup and he went and he spat into his cup he spat into his cup like Hillary Clinton circa 2016.

I want her to spit in my mouth, dude. What? What the hell? Wait, Astro, spell eye cup. Okay. Hold on, let me. I'm thinking. Eye.

See. Wait, what's? You. I See Wait, what's you? M My god word guys hold on I I got it I got one that'll work Shut up. Shut up. Hey, Astro. Yeah? Do you want some ABC gum?

I sure do. Hell yeah, dude. Let me get some ABC gum. Awesome. Okay, my mouth's open. Here you go. Here, I'm putting it in your mouth right now there it is there it is got it now it's in you flip an idiot you didn't see me take that gum out of my mouth what you know what do you know what abc gum means oh no it's already been chewed! Oh! But it tasted so good!

You got gorshed. I know, that's because it's juicy fruit. Oh, I love juicy fruit. Yo, wait, you guys are looking like UpDog. What's UpDog, Mika? Astro, I don't think you realize what you just said here. What's so funny, guys? No, you don't realize what you just said.

What? What did I do? We're gonna have to cut this part out. What's up, dog? We're gonna have to censor this. What's up, dog, guys? No, see, you should look under there. What's under there? No, no, no no no no

no why are you guys laughing I'm gonna say it again you're gonna do it okay look under there stop playing games with me you wanna take me on huh

stop playing games with me I'm sick of your tricks I will take me on, huh? Stop playing games with me. I'm sick of your tricks. I will take you on. I will take you on. And then John Arbuckle comes in and is like, Yo, guys, that's pretty poggers, bro. My favorite Twitter account is the sleep-deprived YT Twitter account. That's true. It's a shame we had to go

through samantha twitter to get that page hooked up yeah i hate dealing with samantha yeah samantha's oh she's a piece i mean she's she is friends with john hazmat so like i don't know but see john hazmat is associated with raymond spotify and that's where i i don't know. But see, John Hasmat is associated with Raymond Spotify, and that's where I don't like him either. It's just a bad intertwining circle of friends. It's just we have to because of Peter MSNBC. Like if just John Hasmat was there, I would have a good time. But then Raymond Spotify and Samantha Twitter have to show up,

and the whole party just goes downhill. Anything else you want to say about Samantha? Might as well get it out. No, I mean, we should get it out. No. I'm done talking. Never trust someone named Samantha. What happened?

All they do is lie. What happened to you? All they do is lie. Eat hot chip. All the Samanthas? All the Samanthas. They're a hive mind. They're evil evil there's probably

a samantha watching this right now dude yeah stop i don't not the samantha that watches us or follows our twitter all the other smiths though i disagree i think samanthas can be pretty cool i i have met i have yet to meet a good sam. You haven't told us what happened. That's true. All the Samanthas I've known have been... I have a question. What's your question? Schlatt, where are you going on your plane ride?

I'm not telling you. Just why not? No. Please. I can't tell you, man. I told Panda, and he said something in response that I didn't like, so I'm not going to tell anybody anymore. It's just kind of ruining the vibe, man.

I know it is, but I just regret it. It just feels like you're holding something back from us, you know? This all started when Panda did the intro. Yeah, it's true. intro yeah it's true yeah panda so we're gonna blame it on me right okay it has been off it has been the vibe has been off after panda kind of ruined the whole intro of the show by doing it himself i think we need to reset so that i think you need to reclaim your title man i think you need to do the you know what i'm I'm gonna do it. Yeah. I'm gonna do it. You need to do it. Yeah. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. This is the ninth episode of the Sleep

Deprived Podcast in a row. My name is Shalat. I'm joined by all these guys. Brought a tear to my eye. There you go, buddy. Thanks, man. Good work, man. Guys, how does this sound? It sounds awesome. How does this sound?

The S-tier is the Eggo cereal, you know? Kellogg's Eggo cereal with the waffles. It's like we're on a plane, you know? With the waffles. You know the waffles cereal? Love that one. That's awesome, S-tier. Hello, I am your server for today.

Would you like water or orange juice and I have the bisque off we just ran out of this can I have the peanuts You got Cheez-Its? I don't want Cheez-Its. We are about to hit the ocean. This whole time, the podcast took place on a plane. Uh-oh, I got to drink all the water. Hey, we're in the ocean, plane. Oh, uh-oh, I gotta drink all the water. Hey, we're in the ocean, guys. Wow, cool.

The cabin's filling with liquid. Oh, no, Hillary's on the plane. All right, guys. What do you say we get this plane back up and running, huh? Yeah? Yeah! Woo! Oh shit! Woo! I didn't know we were amphibious!

That was like our little trans- that's our little transition sound. So I figured like we could transition between the segments, you know, with a little like, blang. Like a sitcom, you know? They're like Jerry's. Hold on, I can add to that. Okay, yeah. Three, two, one. Oh, God.

Honey, I'm home. Yeah, you guys want to hear me shred? Oh, if it isn't John MSNBC. What's the deal? Honey, what's the deal? With these Cheerios. You can't eat them. You can't put milk in them.

What am I supposed to do? Here's Wonderwall. I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies you've been living in. And if you do not want to see me again, I will understand. I will understand I will understand I hate country Did you guys know that?

That was dubstep Did you know that? What? Listen, I'm trying to tell a story I wish you would step back From my house, my friend. You could cut ties with all the lives you've been living in. Dance break.

Did you know that in Wonderwall, he got inspired to write this song after he saw John Arbuckle go, Whoa, that's pretty potter. That's the end of the podcast.