Sleep Deprived Podcast - The Apandah Show - SDP #102

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 29 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

hey guys welcome back to the sleep to fight podcast episode 102 i'm not your host none of us are hosts this is a communist podcast now we are all equal no i am a capitalist i am mr beast wait never mind i just saw the patreon numbers i'm also a capitalist yep welcome to the club yeah number go up i go happy yeah welcome to to episode two of season two. Schlatt is still dead. Probably will be for a while. Forever. And now it is known as the Panda Podcast.

Welcome, guys. You know who it is. You know who it is. Yeah, it's me. You can't just do this. I can do it. Who's going to stop me? I guess you're right. Mika, are you going to stop him?

I mean, I would like to stop him, but... What can we do to stop him? Like, I could use, like, physical force. When this goes out, I'm going to change the title on the YouTube version to the Appanda Podcast. You better not do that. I'm going to do that. Honest, like, genuinely, I would be pretty upset if you did that. Viewers.

Wait, it might get a lot of views. Viewers. Viewers. Viewers. View lot of views. Viewers. Viewers. Viewers. Viewers like you. Viewers. Scrubs. Worms.

Viewers. Mr. Panda Podcast, go ahead and tell us what you were going to tell us. Is this a last name podcast? All right. So I'm going to update you guys on my computer lore because you guys know how bad my computer is. You guys always make jokes about it it's actually really you make you make me you make me feel so bad when i can't do a recording because god forbid something on my computer out of my control happens well should

we uh should we give some context for let me let me give a little bit of context a panda's computer for at least like two maybe more years has been screwing up many of our recording sessions. We will be ready to report. That's not my fault, though. It's not like I said, computer, fuck this up. So it's not your fault to an extent. It's not your fault, but you could fix it so it doesn't happen in the future.

I know what you're going to say. You're going to do the nerd voice. Yep. Look, man, when you download the sketchy shit that you download, shit's going to go down. That's what I'm saying. You're clicking on little porno links little hot booze here in my area asshole in my area click here you know that's what happens you're right i have to admit it you're right i did a virus scan and oh my god dude i had the entire the entire internet on my computer seven 7 million files. I had like 12 viruses.

I had Trojans. How does this happen? I had severe viruses. I don't even feel safe with being in the call with you. There's like a fucking Trojan going to Discord VC into my computer. I don't even pirate R in real life like that anymore. What? I don't understand what that means. Mika, you know what it means.

No, I don't. You're going to have to spell it out for me man okay well every what r no a r r i cosplay as a pirate with my pirate friends and so you don't pirate r anymore yeah i don't do that pirating pirating computer role play of other software i call my buds the software you're no longer in the caribbean plundering british ships transporting gold to spain or whatever for trade you're just you're off that mika mika would you be a pirate would i be a pirate yeah uh honestly seems like it could be kind of chill at some points but as long as it's like a one-piece pirate scenario,

then I would be a pirate. But if it's like an actual real-life pirate scenario, I would not want to be a pirate. Wait, guys. If you guys could have any double fruit, what would it be? I don't know what that means. I only know the gum gum fruit. I would get the big butt fruit.

It's not a real well that's not what no there's not a big butt fruit no what about big booba fruit booba fruit actually there is actually there's booba fruit ivankov yeah mika is there booba fruit um i i there's this one one piece character that can give people boobs that's not real it is it is fucking real impel down is when you meet ivankov the revolutionary you gotta watch real anime like evangelion shut up oh my god if you. If you could make a power from a gum gum fruit, what would your power be? Big boob. Honestly, I like Luffy's.

Wait, actually, never mind. That's a spoiler. Cut that. You just said Luffy. What's the spoiler? Isn't that episode one? He gets the gum gum fruit. What's the spoiler about that?

He has a power up that does a lot of crazy shit. Yeah, but you didn't say it. You just said Luffy. Honestly, I'm going to keep all of crazy shit. Yeah, but you didn't say it. You just said... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, I... Fuck you guys. Fuck all of you. I'm trying to...

I know there's some One-Piecers out there that are watching it, and they love it just as much as I do. Some One-Piecers? And I don't want to even think of spoiling them. I don't want their minds to wander. I'm going to spoil it right now. No, you're not. Who the fuck is that? know whatever whatever if i had a gum gum fruit power i would want the power to uh to like things

uh yeah that's a good one no actually if i had a gum gum fruit power i would want to speak every single language on the in the universe in the galaxy kind of nice just like a google translate out of your mouth yeah like wait can i do anything like can i just do one that gives me like a million dollars and like have like six sex all day long i mean you don't choose i guess the fruit chooses you man well you sometimes you can sometimes you can choose the fruit like uh spoilers spoilers oh my fuck you know what you actually in the last episode you were like we're gonna talk about anime i talk about anime

for some reason i talk about the goat anime the peak anime the best anime one piece and i get shit so you know what let's talk about marvel wait let's talk about fucking epic deadpool and the self-aware meta humor guys are you guys tired of self-aware meta humor and like tv shows and like adult shows you gotta break the fifth and the kind of the seven isn't that what we're doing right now like we're breaking the fourth wall right now like no no i'm breaking the sixth wall just think about it right like are we actually a podcast where it's like we're we're just like people talking or are we a podcast where we we follow a narrative because a lot of people have been talking about like how we have lore in and stuff like that and how we're like a big arg like an alternate reality game but right now we're talking about it as if we're just regular people on a pot you

know what i'm trying to say should we drop like a couple pieces of lore just for the wikia writers yeah why not uh so okay a panda's computer after uh having found after being found with 12 viruses is actually probably more is actually now like the catalyst for like the uh like the ai zombie plague yeah well i'm actually um panda's mother and i gave i gave birth to him 1980 when the microphones go off me and esther like mommy mommy mommy i'm like son go back to your room if you don't do your homework i'm going going to ground you. Do you want mac and cheese tonight? Do you want mac and cheese? Get down! Sit! Did you just fucking hit me?

No, that was the win. I saw that. Actually, I'm just kidding. I actually like this. Wait, what? What did you just say? No, Panda, what did you just say? Mika, look, I always interrupt you,

and I just want you to say what you're going to say. Yeah, you always do the same. You're like, no, what did you just say? Mika, look, I always interrupt you, and I just want you to say what you're going to say. Yeah, you always do the same. You're like, no, after you. It pisses me off, Mika. Why don't you just say, fuck you, Astro, Panda, even Schlatt. Just like, fuck you. I'm speaking now. Yeah, we need some aggressive ability here coming out of you.

All right, I'm going to get aggressive. I'm going to get real aggressive. It just doesn't work you're incapable of it no that's okay we love that about you hey can you say something mean say something mean to me say something mean to you yeah it's real like the realest thing they come out just super mean honest okay i saw what a panda was describing earlier and you hit him i did i oh mommy oh mom i did that i'm not doing anything okay real talk like uh genuinely what kind of parent would you be uh i would be the one that i would i would abort i would abort them let's say we're past that right oh i would still abort them here's what i do i get my i get the fetus and i trap it to a rocket and i send it to the moon first fetus to the moon fetus like that's that's

gonna be a guinness that's gonna be a guinness book of world record yeah no one's ever done that no one's ever done that No one's ever done that I've got a question for you guys Would you rather have a paper cut Wait I actually took a note of this Can someone like hum while I'm finding my note You're edging me You can't just say half of the sentence

And now I'm just sat I just sit here and I'm sad I should have brought up my notepad Can someone someone hum something? I can't do that. That's really impressive. Oh, okay. I found it.

Okay. Corpse. Corpse reveal. Corpse on the pod. What's up, Corpse? Would you rather have a splinter or a paper cut are you fucking kidding me would i rather have a what would you rather have a splinter or a paper cut i feel like this is a squirrel mouse shit no no no no no this is a good one i feel like this is a very nuanced like it is i have a discussion question yeah let's hear it good one i i honestly i think a splinter is better because taking it out feels really good no no no some splinters are some

splinters are so tiny you can't take them out you just end up ripping your finger open just trying to get a splinter i'd rather have that than the paper cut have you ever had a fiberglass splinter yeah i actually yeah see there was there was one time as a kid i dude great story here i was walking around and i went to i was like hey what if i went and just like hit that uh stop sign up there as hard as i can and i jumped up like fucking lebron james yeah you know that's what happens when you're like 13 jumped up like lebron james slapped it as hard as i could and that whole day i had fiberglass on my entire fucking fingers and palm and it sucked yeah man i this one time i was uh oh actually uh you hitting stop signs reminds me like someone once taught me how to like fake uh hit myself with a

stop sign so like you walk and then you like it looks like you hit your head but you put your hand up like at the last second to make it look like you're like ow my head but really you just hit your hand on the stop sign and i think the same thing happened to me but i the thing i was trying to you to get the fiberglass all over you maybe i taught you that i would dude i once had a fiberglass splinter stuck in my hand for like honestly a month probably and everything was just super super frustrating and difficult like typing on the computer was difficult and like painful and the worst part is like i couldn't see it it was like invisible so i couldn't pull it out but just think about it dude like every time

you're typing on the keyboard you're like split you're like fracturing the fiberglass splinter into tiny tiny parts and now you just have like a you have like a fiberglass like party in your skin yeah definitely a paper cut i'm i'm i'd rather get a paper cut i don't know though there's some good splinters like a big one and then you get to pull it out and it's so revealing you're like oh yes but, yes. But so like I once I was on a dock and I was like, you know, jumping into on a what? I was on a dock. Oh, Asher has been on a few of those. I don't get it. I love dock.

Get it? I love doc get it no not really okay continue with your story yeah I was on a doc sorry no it's okay it was a pretty big one okay dude what you know what you're doing

what I don't know what you're doing what are you doing now i don't know what you're talking about why are you giving us adjectives for a doc like that matters oh it was a girthy doc huh were you writing the doc no i was standing on it i wouldn't that's awesome that is a huge doc i don't know what you're talking about, dude. Whatever, dude. Continue your story about the huge dock. Anyways, so... What are you docking about? I don't...

I ran off of it, and I jumped and did a cannonball into a lake, and my foot was really hurting, and I found out it's because there was a giant pencil... Not a pencil, but tech decks. It was a quarter the size of a tech deck. I'm not really doing it justice. I still don't understand what's happening.

You landed on a tech deck? No. I don't understand what the story is. Basically, what happened was when I jumped off the dock, I must have slid my foot over the wood. And so like this inch long and like maybe a quarter of an inch wide splinter got stuck in my foot. So like they had to take me to the hospital and like the doctor extracted it.

But did it feel good and relieving? Honestly, no. felt like i felt like shit the whole time well at least you got to experience a big doc yeah i mean i mean yeah so i plugged us into chat gpt uh i did this with my friends the other day and it's kind of entertaining. I've kind of described all of us with many words, and then I ask them hypothetical questions, and they give us answers.

Okay. So I asked with the three of us, how would we survive on a deserted island? Okay. And it said Mika would be the leader of the group. Is that accurate? Using his eloquence to come up with creative ways to survive. Eloquence.

I would be the morale booster, keeping everyone's spirits high. I agree. And then Panda would be the mischievous goblin who would take people's resources at night. Dude, I would so do that. Wait do that all right wait let me tell you guys about this i'm sorry i gotta interrupt you but i gotta tell you this one amazing story i had this one friend he was like my best friend and we were on this minecraft server and he had so much diamonds in his base and i just stole it all i stole it all and i sorry no you're making

a fake story for the pod people all the podcasters do that all the time i actually believe you a panda no dude and he i told him like dude you got hacked or glitched or something someone someone stole from you but it was me and i and i it felt it felt great do you feel like remorse first no not at all that was i felt awesome i was like i just got free diamonds without having to do anything just a little social engineering and i got the diamonds have i ever told my oh sorry no no go ahead man have i ever told everyone my story about uh about uh getting exodia no man i've never told that on the pod i don't think so. I think age 13 and below, I would classify myself as evil, like a panda levels of evil. But I got it all out of my system.

Yeah, that's right. There was this kid down my street who had Exodia, like all the pieces to Exodia. If you know anything about Yu-Gi-Oh, it's like the best card. It's worth a lot of money. It like wins the game immediately. Yeah, it's like the best card it's worth a lot of money it like wins the game immediately yeah it's like uh it's five pieces so there's a left arm right arm two butt cheeks two legs and a head a unibrow leg sorry yeah and a big old oh wait isn't there a body too is it five pieces oh there's a body all right it's it's actually four legs yeah three legs i had one big one in

the middle basically uh it's it's if you assemble all the cards during the game you win the game right and so it was a coveted piece i was kind of into trading at the time so i would try to you know go down the street scam kids out of cards and try to like get the best cards and you know that kind of thing that's evil man yeah no i was a little piece of shit so i really wanted to trade with this guy. So I was like offering everything that I could, you know, like decks of cards, like anything I could to try to get Exodia.

And he ended up making a deal with me. And it's like the saddest thing ever in retrospect. He said every day that I hang out with him at his house, he would give me one piece of Exodia. Oh, no. And so I did that for that whole week i hung out with him after school for five days straight to get all five pieces and after the fifth day after the fifth day i never talked to him again dude you are a legend my respect for you has gone up so much rule no that's awesome that's awesome dude that's some sigma male shit no it's

not you are witnessing a sigma male i've been on the i've been on the receiving end of that like okay so i've maybe it was you no it wasn't it wasn't yugOh related, but like same hat kind of situation. I was like, I was not the sharpest tool in the shed. And I brought like my Super Smash Bros Melee game to like summer camp because I wanted to play it on the GameCube. And that was fine. Like that was cool. But this one kid who was there, he was like, I was telling him like I was having some trouble getting mewtwo and like beating mewtwo in a fight and he was like i can beat mewtwo for you um just like loan the game to me and like oh no that's the worst mistake to make yep he's like next week when i'm here like i'll give it back to you so i was like okay here you go so i gave him

my super smash bros melee disc oh and dude, I'm so dumb in retrospect, like, because of course he can't get me Mewtwo if he doesn't have my memory card, right? Mm. And that's... So he took it. He took the game, and I never saw him again. That is...

That is sad, man. Yeah, you never lend people your games. I mean, lesson learned, I guess. But I would do that. I would do that also. I would go to people's houses. I mean, lesson learned, I guess. But I would do that. I would do that also. I would go to people's houses. I remember I went to this one kid's house. Sorry, you would steal people's games?

No, I would persuade them into giving it to me. Damn. I had this one kid who had an entire Game Boy Advance collection. But it was like, you know, we were getting a little older. And I was like, come on, you'll never play those. It's like for kids. It's like for babies can i have them and like i kept reciting them and he gave them to me and i still have some dude you definitely have that part of you locked away inside of you like nine tails naruto yeah you are naruto dude i was like

kind of a little piece of shit like 12 years old you were the goat you were a legend well you know that's behind me that's behind me now you know i could i could have learned from you man what you're describing sounds straight up like the awesome actually like dude this actually sounds so fun i was actually saul goodman i was 13 year old saul goodman oh my god dude wow how do you sleep at night are you okay like a baby I feel really bad about it oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to like push your buttons about it

yeah I'm gonna cry this is where the fall off happens Asher you need to embrace me and be like I did that and I want more I want power I like the feeling it makes me feel good no it was messed up man no no it wasn't homeless people you know why because dude the reason they fell for it dude they fell for it because they're losers because they're stupid and they fell for it like worms they were like 11 beneath your boot you outsmarted them you outplayed them so you earned it you earned it who gives a fuck these are just 10 year old kids

you outplayed them no they were just being trusting dude we're like grow a mustache yet man like come on we're like the we're like the angel and devil on your shoulder right now it's like one of us is like oh yeah man you know the shit mika that tricked those kids that's definitely our role in the pod i'm definitely the devil you're the shit. You tricked those kids. That's definitely our role in the pod. I'm definitely the devil and you're definitely the angel. We should do a fusion dance into one person. It's just like a normal Joe. Wait, that means I'm the fucking centrist. How does it feel, man?

I'm going to rebrand. I'll just be Limbo. Is that cool? Limbo? What the fuck is Limbo? So Panda is hell. Mika is heaven. I'm limbo is that okay no that's just like it's like a spot between both where you're still deciding things that's

like when goku dies and he's like and he runs on it why do you have an anime reference for everything today dude come on you know what i'm talking about you know what goku means that big hairy guy and he's like hairy guy he's all hairy aren't they all hairy is this the is this the part where goku has to like run on the road yeah yeah wait is goku hairy he has arm hair right he had a big tail then he ripped it off why isn't he hairy tail he does get hairy when he turns into a big monkey he turns into a big monkey yeah he's a he's a what what's his race of people called it's a uh oh my god he's a dude i can't i'm thinking of a namekian like that's no no no he's he's uh saying no

yeah saying aren't they saying yeah yeah they are saying oh yeah what am i saying dude dude stop saying it wrong you know you're saying it wrong it's saying bro if you watch if you watch goku he's like i'm going super saiyan pissing me off so'm going Super Saiyan Yep And then go to Can you say that again? Sorry, sorry, go ahead I'll be Dragon Ball characters

I don't know any of them Can I be the cat? What's the cat? Beerus He talks like this Okay, I got that, easy Hey guys, it's me Beerus Did you say you're going to be Pickle Rick

No I'm going to be Pickle-o I'll be Krillin We're going to talk about You can pick anyone to be And you're choosing Krillin Yeah I sound like Krillin Wait do the

Beerus What The cat I sound like Krillin. Yeah, I sound like Krillin. Pimp squeak? Wait, do the beer-a-bulbin again? How do you do that? What? The cat. The cat. The cat. Bulbo.

Dude, you sound like a middle-aged dad right now. No, dude. I want to be Vegeta. What's the cat voice? Okay, is that the cat voice? I'm Vegeta. I'm not. Okay.

Is that the cat? No. I'm trying to get into character. How does the cat sound again? Maybe you should have studied Dragon Ball.? No, I'm trying to get into character. How does the cat sound again? Maybe you should study Dragon Ball. All right. I'm Goku. Hey guys. What's up? Shut up Goku. I'm stronger than you piccolo Gonna ignore me Wanted to marijuana. I'm the prince of all Saiyans and you're ignoring me

Mika I mean piccolo piccolo yeah let's do marijuana uh piccolo i listen man i gotta go take care piccolo sounds a lot like mika sakis i feel like he's not trying enough okay you want me to try i i gotta go take care of your son that's more like it that's more like it. That's more like it. That's the Piccolo I know. You're a terrible father. You're starting to sound like Trump again. Every impression of you. I'm Vegeta.

I'm the prince of all Saiyans. I'm Vegeta. I'm Vegeta. The come of age Vegeta. I'm gonna blow up a planet. I'm the prince of all Saiyans. That's me. I'm gonna turn into a little monkey.

You know I love the Saiyan race. The Saiyans, I mean. Great people, great people. When they go Super Saiyan, oh my god. They got the blonde hair. What the hell is that? Wait, do they have blonde hair? They have black hair.

Well, when they go Super Saiyan, they go Super Saiyan. Yeah, they're blonde. And then when they go super saiyan yeah they're blonde and then when they go uh super saiyan ultra instinct they have ultra instinct is white gray hair ultra instinct i thought it was like a video game no that's it's like it's it's like when goku goes ultra instinct they go super sa Saiyan and then they go Ultra Instinct? No, no, no. They go Super Saiyan, then they go Super Saiyan God, then they go Super Saiyan Blue, and then Vegeta goes Super Saiyan even bluer,

and then Goku goes Ultra Instinct, but then you have the non-canon ones where they turn into like a red monkey. And then they can... No, then they can combine together into Vegito or Gogito. And then you have

Broly. Broly's the goat. Asher, I know you've seen Broly's ass. Who the fuck is Broly? You know Broly's ass? He's this really jacked guy who's got this green energy about him. Oh my god god i have seen broly's

ass he like picks people up and like throws them on actually broly is really good broly's fucking sick oh he's really have you guys ever played dragon ball fighters oh my god you're one of those mika mika don't tell me you're one of those one of what you're one of the dragon ball fighters people what do you mean one of the dragon ball fighters people what do you mean one of the dragon ball fighters people it's such a good game it is a good game it's it's a good game it's so good and broly is really fun to play in it he's just like this giant guy who like stomps on people you know i wish he stomped on me astro dude have you seen his ass like this is impeccable you can play it like the bongos but

this is more than a bongo man this is a full-ass drum kit uh anyways so did you when uh did chat gbt ever tell you more things about what would happen when we went on the island do you want me to get like ask it a different scenario we could ask it it one more. Yeah, let's do it. How about who would win in a fight? Okay. Panda or Mika. Sure, let's do that. Can we do another one after this one? It would depend on the circumstances of the fight. If it was a physical fight,

then Panda would likely win due to his disgusting nature. Dude, what did you put for me? You must put like disgusting, goblin, gross, stinky, smelly. However, however, if it was a mental battle, then Mika would likely win due to his high intelligence. Fuck.

What did you put for me, dude? Okay, what else should I ask it? Okay, ask it this. If we went on a moon mission to find moon rocks and we got stranded on the moon with no way home who would eat who first and

be the only survivor and who would eat everyone else and who would like lose their mind and just eat everyone I think I already know the answer I'm pressing submit. Mika would probably be the only survivor as he is the most wholesome and kind person

of the group. He would attempt to ration out the food and water to everyone even if it meant that he had to go without some. Astro and Panda would probably eat each other at the same time. As Panda is a gremlin and Astro is a skeleton that needs energy

to survive i cannot believe you put me as a goblin gremlin disgusting imp creature holy shit that answer was really good you would just win because a pan and i eat each other at the same time that's pretty funny you ever see those uh you ever see the symbol of like the snake eating itself or like the two snakes eating itself yeah oroboros yeah oroboros you guys are in oroboros much like a human centipede anyway if you want to see more of this great chat gbt content and maybe some more little stories check out the patreon sleep deprived or patreon.com slash sleep deprived five dollars a month to get more pod get a a discord. You get a Minecraft server. You get cool shit. Baba Booey. And sometimes I'm censored gaming videos. And also

if the total amount goes below like 10,000, we're quitting. Just saying. I'm killing myself. We will not be doing any more pods. Baba Booey. Baba Booey.