Sleep Deprived Podcast - The Worst Movie EVER - SDP #104

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

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ahem oh it's Seth Rogen Seth Rogen Seth Rogen Donkey Kong hey everybody welcome back to the sleep deprived podcast woohoo

Mario mamma mia little Lou I like how he calls Mario Lou yeah I actually like that it's kind of cute it's like a bit of lore right Little Lou. I like how he calls Mario Lou. Yeah, I actually like that. It's kind of cute. It's like a bit of lore, right? Lou!

Can you echolocate me? Yes, I am a bat. Like, I'd be creaking. What? Like your bones? No, I'd be creaking my chair be spinning around are you is your gamer do you not have a gamer chair you like sit in a rocking chair like an old man you are a gremlin

wait wait wait do you guys have gamer chairs no i used to though and that shit is like not good for you i don't know why someone would buy one it doesn't look comfortable anytime i see like a gx racer the other one they just don't look comfortable to me you got to get that ergonomic chair honestly recently i've been thinking it might be worth my money to spend a fuck ton on like a like a really expensive like herman miller yeah i i've also dude uh my friend has an eames chair which is um he got it for free which was nuts because his family business got it and it came broken but not even like too broken for it to just not work and uh they were like here you go you can just have it and honestly it was the most comfortable chair i think i've ever sat in hell yeah oh wait i just remembered i had to ask uh i had to ask panda about something

what have you seen the amazing book moby dick by herman melville no well basically like the author recounts his story of being at sea like in the first part of the book the author who's called ishmael is like in a small seaside town and he's sharing a bed with like a man named uh what is it mika queequeg right um it's queequeg right yeah i don't know basically what i wanted to say is that i just i felt saddest of all when i read the boring chapters that were only description of descriptions of whales because i knew the author was just trying to save us what i knew the author was just trying to save us from a sad story you know like just for a little while yeah right right you agree with me right i know i agree i i agree

i totally agree yeah what did you what do you think about that panda i don't what what does it have to do with anything why are you talking about moby dick in its sad chapters i was just wondering what you thought about the book I thought you had read it I'm sorry yeah I was just trying to be honest I'm being a Moby Dick right now can you just say one honest thing to me

right now like just for once that's my last assignment for you Panda have you read Moby Dick for once. That's my last assignment for you, Z. Panda, have you read Moby Dick? Whoa, Mika! Mika Zakis and Mario, welcome to Mushroom Kingdom. Panda, have you read Moby Dick? Well, I've not

watched Moby Dick. Is he Trump now? It's Mario Trump. Yeah, Panda, it's pretty funny. Like all your impressions kind of morph into Trump at one point. If it's a female voice, it turns into Marge. And if it's a male voice, it turns into Trump. Listen, we're going to talk about the Mario movie, but I also have some thoughts on Moby Dick.

No way we'll talk about Moby Dick. No, I was just talking about Moby Dick. Yeah, I was just wondering what you thought of this. Like, Astro, I definitely like echo your thoughts and like just circling back and piggybacking off what you said. Of course. I felt saddest of all when I read the boring chapters that were only descriptions of whales

because I knew that the author was just trying to save us from his own sad story just for a little while. Yeah. God, I'm going to cry. Is there an inside joke I'm not getting? Did you guys call before this? We're like, all right, let's make Penelope stupid.

Let's talk about Moby Dick. No, it's... He doesn't know Moby Dick. It's a very boring book. It's just worthy. It's worthy of talking about it. I feel like I need to write an essay about it. I feel like I need to write an essay about it. I feel like I need to write an essay about it.

I don't know. I'm sorry. Because it's boring. Well, you know what? Nobody is willing to share this opinion, right? Like, everyone's just like, Mubby Dick, amazing book, great. No, it's boring. And that's why it's so sad.

Like, there's descriptions of whales. Like, he's just trying to save us from his own sad story just for a little whale. Wild. Yeah. Yeah. Like, for me, I would say this book made me think about my own life and then it made me feel glad for my charlie looks up the waves cut off is this a copy pasta a sharp intake of breath black a long silence then end credits i have a copy of the script I can share, but I figured this is what you were looking for.

So, for the listeners and for the... No, no, no, you shouldn't. I honestly think you shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't? No. No? No, because it's not good. Anyway, Panda, Mario movie?

Wait, wait, let's talk about Moby Dick a little more. Would you guys cut up Moby Dick and eat it? I have a Moby Dick right here for you. No, I'm talking about the whale, though. Would you cut up a whale, grill it, and eat it? Wait, you're talking about the whale? Are you talking about the whale? Like the whale or a whale?

The whale Moby Dick. You mean like the whale, like the guy who looks to the side? Like you're talking about that whale or are you talking about Moby Dick? The guy that looks to the side? The guy that hands you the big doobie while he's crying? The whale? Wait, are you talking about the fat guy? You mean Brendan Fraser, 2022?

Really insensitive. What the fuck are you guys talking about look have you seen the mario movie yeah i've seen the mario movie i basically like my thoughts in the mario movie is i felt saddest of all when i read like the boring chapters that were only description of toads all right all right okay we're quoting okay bring you guys talk about what we did no no panda we're gonna talk about the mario movie for real come on man come on so here's my take here's my quick take on mario movie yeah really great really short no plot really fun great characters great animation illumination great studio. I liked Donkey Kong the best. Best character.

Actually, wait, Bowser. 7 out of 10. Yeah, I would... Go ahead, Panda. Mika, I was just going to say, I love when Donkey Kong flexes his pecs and he's like, the people love it!

And he just keeps doing it. Yeah, that was a pretty good moment. It was pretty funny. I moment it was pretty funny i thought it was pretty cool how their whole arena looked like uh mario kong versus donkey kong so wait i'm sorry mario versus donkey kong mario kong mario kong and mika and then i turned to you and i was like my life is like a video game trying hard to beat the stage all while I am still collecting coins. And then halfway through I was like, this is so retro! And I did a

Soy Jack face and I looked at you guys. So you weren't in the theater with me, so I think you I'm worried for your mental health because I was not there. No, you can't deny that I wasn't there because I was and you saw me Soy Jack and it was so funny and you're afraid to admit that it was not there. No, you can't deny that I wasn't there. Because I was and you saw me soy jack.

It was so funny and you're afraid to admit that it was so funny. I will admit, the part where Mario is sitting beside a Jumpman arcade game. I did see Panda Soy Jack. What? This is so retro. Are you guys telepathically speaking well um he was like i just didn't know you were this close like well he was not there he was with us at the i at the theater wait oh here i he was that guy

what he was that guy yeah he was the he was the guy yeah who started he was like out loud in the theater he yelled this is so retro like yeah I've you there was the guy that streaked around the movie theater oh yeah that was you well you guys you guys seem to think I'm Donkey Kong my fluoride stare would you guys say it was Donkey Kong in that movie? Honestly, yeah. I could see it, yeah. Who are you? Who are you in the movie?

Mika is Bowser. You think so? Wait, let me think. Wait, what? How? I don't know, like he's saying good. Peaches. He's calling you an incel, dude. Peaches, peaches, peaches. If you think about it,owser was kind of an incel in that movie oh yeah he was he was uh he was pretty insufferable to watch but he

was like what shut up he was the best part of the movie that's what i'm serious no i'm saying he was like the best character and the most entertaining to watch but you got to admit he's like an insufferable like personality dude he turned a koopa into the skeleton one i like when they were on the mario kart stage and they played the song alex unknown blue shell and like mario hit somebody with the shell and i was like feeling like mario and then he fell off the stage and i was like but he doesn't know how the game goes i i am i will say like it was kind of a kick when the blue shell hater guy which like why did he have such a hate hateful like spite towards mario for no reason like that guy is the biggest hater in the world and then when he yelled out blue shell tip rider yeah when he yelled out Blue Shell. Biggest Bowser tip rider. Yeah, when he yelled out Blue Shell, I chuckled a little.

I was like, okay. Mika was like, reference. I was like. Honestly, Donkey Kong's segment of the world looked fucking sick. I want to live in that utopia. Everyone's just driving go-karts everywhere. That was fucking cool. That part was fucking cool that part

was pretty cool but i think it's pretty funny that you say this because usually you're like very big on walkability and i feel like mushroom kingdom is the place for that for me like uh public transport and walkability is really great but like i think it would be kind of fun if i was just on a go-kart all the time oh for sure i actually i will tell you my favorite uh one of my favorite parts of the movie because this movie was like pretty gorgeous honestly was uh the the scene with all the fire flowers and it's like peach and mario and you know why it's because it reminded me of the bonfire of dreams fromerk. Did you get that vibe? I get you. I see it now.

I see it now. The animation was super pretty, but I definitely agree. The plot was a little non-existent. Would you fuck Kamek with the makeup on? What? Panda. Who?

The Kamek guy. Kamek? Oh, kamek like the wizard koopa yeah like when he like put the makeup on oh yeah dude kamek could get it oh you guys see babam you guys see that big babam guy no i loved that in the yeah i saw that He was in the audience of the wedding. Yeah. And then he grabbed the shell. Like, he's that guy. Yep. That was a cool moment. Because at that moment, I was like, that's so retro.

And I soyjacked. That's so retro. Because it was a reference to Mario 64, right? Yep. Like, that was the King Bob-omb. Hey, but the DK rap, though. That got me. The DK rap.

That was good. I didn't expect that that was that made me that's that made me soy they should make sigma edits of uh i think i could see it one yeah yes oh of all the people in that movie who do you think was the most sigma the donkey kong bowser what you dude bowser was dude bowser was like if i can't get peach no one will yeah but then he's gonna kill everyone then he got turned into a little bitch i think he's a fucking i think he's gonna break out of there in the second movie he's gonna like hit his head against no i think i think mario's gonna empty his one-up mushroom into that jar bowser was the total beta in that movie.

You know who the beta was? Toad. Toad kept saying to Peach, like, I'm gonna save you. I'm gonna protect you. What are you talking about? Toad was a supportive friend. It was a platonic friendship. Toad wanted that Peach. I don't think he did. He thought he could simp into that shit.

But Mario won. Dude, you actually have the audacity to call Toad a simp when bowser was in the movie yeah but bowser's the goat yeah but he's the throat goat because he was singing really well like out of his oh yeah throat i will say like the the peaches song has been stuck in my head ever since i saw the movie and it's been like a week at this point. Me, come, me, come, me, come, me, come, me, come, me, come, me. You want me to sing the Peaches song?

Yeah. You can pull up the lyrics. Can you sing it about Fauci? Fauci, Fauci, Fauci, Dr. Fauci. Like that. Sure. Fauci. All right.

Let me pull it up okay alright alright I got the lyrics pulled up okay this is hold on

I gotta wait for the music. This one is for my one and only true love, Dr. Fauci. Oh, God. Fauci is so cool. And with my star, we're gonna rule. Fauci Understand I'm gonna love you too Marianne

Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci

Fauci I love you Oh Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci Fauci Dr. Fauci I love you. Oh. Fauci, Fauci, Fauci, Fauci, Fauci, Fauci, Fauci. Dr. Fauci. I love you. What? What?

Booster, booster, booster, booster, booster shot. Booster, booster, booster. Whopper, whopper, whopper. Whopper, whopper, whopper, whopper, whopper, whopper. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. Double, triple. I think Jack Black undoubtedly stole the show he's such a nice he looks like such a nice guy every time I see him I'm just like

ah yes memories from my childhood he's probably a piece of shit what the fuck you think everyone is a piece of shit and it pisses me off what if Jack Black is the nicest guy you've ever met have you met him no see like I feel like there's no reason to believe he's good or bad like but but can't can you give people the benefit of the doubt that maybe they're just good what what is the like what is your rationale for saying that it's but i will say school of rock great movie school of rock was great that's a classic i love how jack black does his whole like oh thing he does his what he does his whole thing the huh you know like jack black out of nowhere he'll be

like you hear that right panda every time he does it the mic doesn't pick it up i just hear like this gross raspy sound and like the whole high section of it just gets cut out. Anyways, yeah, so we talked about something that, you know, we think is fun. We think is a little, is a fun time. It has some, it has some little things that, you know, aren't, you know, ideal. Yeah. Let's talk about something that's total garbage. Okay.

This is a segue into what you wanted to talk about, Astro. What? I'm extending an olive branch. You wanted to talk about something. Oh, Duolingo? Yeah. I fucking hate Duolingo. Have you ever used Duolingo, Panda? Yeah. I want to Duolingo. Have you ever used Duolingo Panda? Yeah, I want to slap that

green bird. Uh, dude, I mean, honestly, like, I've seen some pretty good fan art of that bird. Asher, picture this. You got a crossbow and you see Duolingo flying in the sunset. It would be the first animal that I would eat. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Hypothetical, hypothetical,

hypothetical. Okay. Duolingo bird comes to your door in one of those packages okay no like in like a little box uh would you eat it this is the duolingo bird it has like a contract or like why would i do this my first proof of realness yeah because you know it might be like a... You might think it's a fake Duolingo bird, but then you see the paper and it's like, okay, this is the real deal. This is actually Duolingo bird. Would you eat it?

Why would my first reaction be to eat it? Would that be your first reaction? No, no, no. No, this is the plan. Like, the plan is that you eat it. Why, though? Yeah, like, what's the motivation? That's the hypothetical hypothetical that's just the

hypothetical well i wouldn't then i don't think you wouldn't eat the duolingo bird would you just for no reason wait let me preface the bird is dead okay yeah that kind of makes it worse that's like really creepy if you kill a bird to eat it

that's worse the bird's already dead i go to my fucking mailbox and there's just a bird to eat it, that's worse. If the bird's already dead. I go to my fucking mailbox and there's just a dead bird in it. I'm going to be really concerned. But Panda, why is your first thought, if you see a dead bird in a package, why is your brain going, I'm going to eat that? You know what I mean?

That's not the first thought. Do you not eat chicken? Yeah, I do. But the thing is, I don't eat chicken. That's not the first thought. Do you not eat chicken? Yeah, I do. But the thing is, I don't eat chicken. That's a bird. Yeah, but I don't eat chicken that appears in my mailbox. And I have no clue how long it's been dead for or where it's from. Yeah, there could be some worms in there, man. Or some sort of Duolingo disease.

That's flavor, and you know that. Ew. or like some sort of you know duolingo disease that's flavor and you know that ew also uh i i actually like duolingo i do too and i'm addicted to it like i today i spent three hours doing it but like there's like these tryhards in the app who have to get number one every week on the leaderboard and they don't actually progress in the language they just stay at like unit one so they're just doing the same fucking words over and over again for like thousands of xp and it's the most annoying shit oh yeah you can kind of game the system for our listeners who are familiar with duolingo um what you can do is you can like get a double xp boost yeah and then there's on the ladder there's like a there's a what's it called like a lightning round thing you can yeah yeah yeah and you if you finish

it in like a minute 30 seconds you get 40 xp but with the double xp boost you get 80 yeah so it's like if you don't do the lesson so you just like stay at like unit one like never actually progress there you could just like uh get these double xp boosts and then go in and it's like uh what is rojo what is azul how do you say hello in spanish and it's just like you just do that over and over again like all day and like get like tens of thousands of xp and there's just this fucking guy you can never defeat like i'm going through like multiple units of japanese and i just can't defeat this fucking guy who's in first place who's spamming hello in spanish over and over again yeah it is kind of an exploit for sure because the further you progress in the units the more complicated the lightning rounds get yeah but anyway i would i would probably uh the duolingo owl all right so i'm too grizzly right i'm too grizzly to eat the duolingo bird but i never said grizzly okay that is i have never

called you grizzly i would never call you grizzly i think i'm never gonna forget you guys all downvoted my fucking okay presentation i did not i did not downvote it i was the one who supported you i was the one well i know damn well mika downvoted that mika definitely downvoted that yeah well i don't know has that video come out by the time we're recording this yes has it right for two days yeah it's been out how do you do that Astro? how do you do that in your brain? I just I don't know I visualize the days of the week damn if you're wrong

I'm gonna message you I'm gonna be like dude you're so fucking wrong about this for our audio listeners we put out another Jackbox video and a panda just said some horrible grisly heinous things and we called them out on it rightfully so i still don't understand what that means because i've never heard that word used that

way like i know it like grizzly bear but like grizzly is so such a funny word it basically just means that it's vile it's absolutely vile i don't think grizzly bears are vile they're kind of they're not grizzly to you grizzly bears are vile they're kind of they're not grizzly to you grizzly bears are chill i'm talking about like calling something grizzly it just means that it's how do you spell that it's not spelled like the way grizzly bear is um here let me check because i'm actually really bad at spelling things and it's like really embarrassing spell icon you Spell I cup. You can do that, right? It's grisly, like G-R-I-S-L-Y. Causing horror or disgust. Yeah.

I never do that. Honestly, you do. You want me to... You are grisly. You want me to spell I cup? Yeah. U-R-A-Q-T. U-R-A-Q-T U-R-A-Q-T

it's not a word Mika so Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom is coming out you guys excited? Legend of Zelda Breath of the Mild that's so true no I'm just kiddingelda breath of the wild a little bit is item durability i've just never been a fan yeah i've never been a fan of item durability i just don't like it

it also i mean like like the shit like like goes bad and runs out you got to get more armor or something yeah like you're yeah like minecraft basically yeah yeah you can't you can get the master sword which instead of breaking it just needs to recharge when it reaches no durability but i believe the uh shield like the iconic triforce shield i think it can break that's pretty dumb yeah i don't remember if you can get another one but it does kind of like bother me so is that like legend of zelda but basically dark souls um i guess the other way wait you think it's dark souls but legend of zelda no i don't know it's like is it like the because they have like big bosses and shit and like you

gotta fight them and yeah they do have some pretty big bosses. Some of them... Well, I guess some of the bosses aren't big, but you fight on big magical creatures made out of stone or whatever. It's Elden Ring for pussies that think Elden Ring is too hard. Because they're pussies. I would rather just throw the pigskin around with my old man. Okay.

Barbecue some tofu steaks on the grill, you know what I'm saying? The pigskin. What's wrong with pigskin? You don't like throwing a big old spiral across the 20-yard line? Say another one. What's another one? The rock. I love throwing the rock around.

No one calls a football the rock. Some people do. Nobody does that. They do. Comment down below if you actually call a football a rock. Well, nobody here does because none of them go outside,

but Tom Brady throws a sick rock. He just throws rocks at people. Do you think Tom Brady's the goat? Tom Brady's the goat, and I only say that because people get mad when you say that. I think it's Dan Marino. Wait, wait, wait. You actually like football. Do you think Tom Brady is a goat?

Okay, so I think Tom Brady is the best clutch player, clutch player in all of sports ever, I think. Damn. Or, like, definitely football. Like, because that dude, like, could win any game. You know what I mean? Like, he's not even that fit, but he, like, puts in the extra work, and he doesn't, like, fall under pressure. Like, I think a lot of players fall under pressure. Like, they have either the skill or they have the athletics, maybe the pressure like amount like you know ruins them but i think

he just like pulls through and just fucking like it doesn't affect him like it almost makes him play better when he's losing pressure makes diamonds for tom brady what well you know diamonds the old saying yeah diamonds are formed under pressure yeah but he kisses his kids on the mouth so here's a hypothetical for you okay would you rather play like american football on a team full of duolingos and you're the quarterback like the duolingo bird yeah it's it's like a football team full of the duolingo bird and you're the only human are the other teams normal like are they also are they football players are they also duolingo birds they're football players you're getting fucked and also like the duolingo birds like they have the intelligence of like a common owl we're fucked i don't even think we could get them in a line

wouldn't be able to like start a play who's we it's just you on the team man like it's only you it's just me and the duolingo owls don't even play no it's just you and the duolingo owls like they can play but that's true think about this the duolingo owls like they can play but maybe think about this the duolingo bird flies with the football and puts it at the end yeah so you would get a penalty because you need like uh like 13 men on the field so like every play you would try to snap it and you would get a penalty and you would keep going back and back and back until you're at like the zero yard line. I didn't even know it would happen.

I think the other team would start declining it. It would be like an infinite game. What does any of that mean? Decline? Snap? What is that? Okay, so snap is when you say hike and then the ball at the center. Yeah. He throws the ball like he's crouching he throws it like between his legs under his ass and it goes towards you and you you pick it right grab it and then you throw it right

yeah yeah and snap and uh snapping that you that's what snapping is yeah yeah you you haven't described it yet i just did when you snap your boner. Yeah. Right, okay. So the other one you were going to talk about was snapping? I'm going to snap you, Nav. Okay, actually, what was the other one? It's called Moby Dick by the author Herman Melville. What is this bit? Actually explain to me this Herman Derby bit.

It's Moby Dick by the author Herman Melville. It's where he recounts his story of being at sea. Okay, did you guys read this together? Moby Dick? No, we're just talking about Moby Dick by the author Herman Miller, who later went on to design a chair. See, there's obviously a bit that I'm not getting so just explain No, no we can't we actually can't why

Probably no no wait wait wait. I have you are keeping the bit from me Of the bit of the movie So would you rather the Duolingo? You know like you're on a team full of Duolingo and they're human-sized Duolingoingos right they're just as intelligent as owls yeah they're human-sized yeah okay that might help a bit okay so that or would you rather um read Moby Dick by Herman Miller well I don't like it I think it's a boring book especially the chapters where there are descriptions of whales. I guess that's it, huh? Baba Booey. We'll be dick.

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Baba Booey we just added that guys just say Baba Booey Baba Moby Dick