Sleep Deprived Podcast - WE ARE SEINFELD - SDP #130

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 30 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo. Can we just do that as the intro for the pod? Yeah. Yo. Yo. I show the meat. Show the meat. To make you feel complete.

Complete. What song is that? You've been singing it. It's kind of fire. It's called I Show the Meat. No way they named it that. I Show the Meat. I think it's silly when a song,

like the title is what the lyrics are. You know? Because it's like a spoiler. You haven't even listened to it yet. You already know what they're going to say. Like fact? Yeah. Like fact, yeah.

It should have been called like animal song. You know? So you don't know what... Yeah, well, he uses that word as well maybe little creature i like when song names make absolutely no sense and have like no connection to the actual lyrics you know yeah so wait what if we should probably do an intro oh yeah uh hey everybody welcome back to sleep deprived podcast episode 130 hey woo yeah guys i have congenital herpes so we want to talk about panda panda sounds

like they're in a sewer and um they they've been talking about how they have herpes uh panda are you in a are you in a sewer like are you a are you a creature i just fucked a turtle you what i fucked a turtle was it good though no yeah before before we started recording this podcast we spent like half an hour trying to figure out if panda sounds i'm such a villain man i'm so evil i'm so sorry for the inconvenience mika no no i'm not i'm not saying it i'm bringing it up because it's like it's funny because like i can't tell if you sound better or worse than before. Yeah, that's... Okay, that sounded like you shat into the mic. Yeah, I'm sort of...

My mind is broken on this issue. We went back and forth on whether or not Panda sounds good in the mic, and I've decided that I just don't... I just don't know. I don't know anymore. So the comments, you need to tell us, does Panda sound normal?

I don't know. Comment down below, iridosaclitus. What? Iridosaclitus. What is that, dude? Isn't that an MF Doom lyric? What? Iridosaclitus.

No, that does sound like an MF Doom lyric. He would say iridosaclitus. You know the iridosaclitus kid? Come on, guys. I don't know. I cannot believe you guys don't know what the Iridociclitus means. Have you guys heard the new Jezebel

Gebergably Geberger? What? Have you heard the new Jezebel Gebergably Geberger? What, dude? Everyone's talking about it. The new Jezebel Kaburga Blee Kaburger what dude everyone's talking about it the new Jezebel Kaburga Blee Kaburger you've never even heard of it I've never heard of this in my life what is this

surely you've heard of Jezebel Kaburga Blee Kaburger burger see Panda knows well for people who don't know what is the Jezebel Kaburga Blee Kaburger well it's the newest installment in the Jezebel Kablerger Bligablerger? Well, it's the newest installment in the Jezebel Kablergerble discography. What?

It's Jezebel Kablergerly, man. I don't know. Whatever, next topic. The Jezebel Kablerger? You seriously, like, wait, what, Banner? No, the Jezebel Kablerger. Oh, I thought you said it hurts when you pee that is so weird i don't remember saying that wait you said that didn't you oh

that's that's disgusting panda's playing games mika panda's playing games in the pod and i can't take it anymore panda's playing well i can't take this anymore because you're talking about jezebel whatever whatever it's jezebel gebergably they released geberger this year come on man the intro track quarter pounder jezebel geberger what have you ever picture a big mac in your head wait what is jezebel geberger's last name jezebel it's gebergably gebergably okay gebergably really released an album called geberger i'm getting that right yes yes that was this year what does that that mean, though? I don't understand. You'll have to listen to it, but Jazz About Gumburger by Gumburger is one of the albums of all time.

Well, what genre is it? It's a... It's Gumburger. Giblin. Giblin. Giblin? Whoa! What is that

panda what is oh is that jessica burger boy well panda hold on is that copyrighted music lettuce i hope it isn't because i'm just gonna have to put like i'm gonna have to be able to burger blade i show me tomato lettuce panda if you're playing copyrighted music i'm just gonna have to mute like everything and put like deep fried cheese curds lettuce tomato mika would you eat the burger that I just lined out for you? It depends. Is it Jezebel Gabliga Burger? It's a Jezebel Gabliga Burger special. Double Gabliga Burger. Mika, I can't do this anymore.

What, Mika? What panda? I mean. Mika, I can't do this anymore. Panda? Mika, I can't do this. What can't you do, panda? Panda, no.

Mika, I love you. Oh god thanks man wait this is really good this is really good this is a good segue because you guys love each other i was recently looking up on pinterest uh the top 10 countdown to having a new husband by friday wait what and so panda i'd have some advice for you because you have a new husband and so i this is just 10 things you need to do to make sure mika is your husband by friday are you ready yes number 10 respect what he says number nine come on man number nine come on it's Come on, man. Number nine. Come on. It's only 10. Number nine. Tell him how important he is in your life. Tell Mika how important he is. I love you, baby. Thanks, man.

Number eight. Tell him how much you need him in your life. I need you, Mika. Number seven. Pursue him. Number seven, pursue him. Oh, I already am. Okay, this one's really important. Don't correct him or make fun of him ever,

especially in front of others. Your tough guy is much more sensitive than you think he is. Don't be a bone digger. Unearthing past misdeeds and throwing him in his face. Okay? Do you understand? Mika, I love you.

Okay, good. Number five. Don't talk down to him. He's your husband, not your child. Even if he does act like it sometimes. Eat your broccoli, Mika. Mika, do you like that?

No, not really. Number four. This one goes a little too far. Maybe don't follow this one specifically. It says, touch him physically. One caress can last a long time and will really get his attention. You really don't have to do that, Panda. Like a sweet boy.

Wait. Is that okay with you? I'm sorry. I'm making you uncomfortable. This has to stop. Wait, number two. Number two. We're almost done.

Number two. I'm going to use this on Astro. Eliminate the words why, never, and always from your vocabulary. Wait, why would you eliminate why? I don't know. I think this might be misogynistic. Number one, think about what you're going to say and divide it by 10. What?

I got that from romanticquestionspinterest.com. Thank you. Wait, what was that list for? this is for getting a new husband by friday but uh show the meat to make you feel complete and honestly dude there's like these other ones it's like it says it's date night a q a with your loved one and it's but it's so blurry like i can't read it like the first one says uh the the first big the first ooh the first ooh i ever boosh what the first oh the first cd i ever bought oh okay what's the first cd i ever bought take a guess mika uh um i actually feel like maybe i might know this oh you know it oh you know it do i let me just say it's a double g alliteration

gigity gigity blue good burger jezebel go burger please panda what was the first cd you ever bought dude i'm too young for cgs but imagine if the cd was japanese yeah thing japan yeah it'd be naruto it would be naruto i'll be real you know what sucks i think i was the shit i think I have something because most people have thing Japan-itis, right? They see a Japanese thing and they're like, oh, that's cooler.

You could look at a rubble, literally desecrated land and then if you put Texas and Japan on it, people would be like, oh. But I have a different problem. I think everything in Japan comes from Naruto and i can't break it like like yeah i have thing naruto like i was looking at statues and i was like oh i think

this inspired the the two-tailed beast matatabi and i'm like oh my god i need i need help but i mean i wouldn't be surprised if a lot of inspiration from Naruto or for Naruto came from it. I don't know. In the same way that probably a lot of legends and fables are probably inspired by whatever culture the culture is writing from in. Did that make sense? That's deep shit.

That's deep shit. That's deep shit that's deep shit bro panda yeah here are 55 reasons why i love you number one number one the way honorable list panda 55 reasons that's a lot of reasons the way you stand by my wife wait side the way you stand by my wife. Wait, side. The way you stand by my side. I love that about you. The home poo. The big, the brisk poo. I can't read this.

Is it like 20 pixels big? Can I show you an image? Yeah. You better put it on the screen, Mika. They've been eating your ass up in the comments. I try to put everything on the screen.

The comments have been wholesome now. Are they wholesome now? I'm kidding, Mika. The comments have been really good. Hell yeah. Yeah, I think the comments on the last video were pretty nice. Thanks, everyone.

They were nice comments. Thank you. Just kidding. Now they're not funny. Now they're not the same copy and paste comments. Do you think when Tony Hawk looks down at a tech deck, it's like when God looks down to a human? Probably.

Think about it. Tony Hawk's one of the celebrities everyone loves but you know he's like killed people i don't think i don't know yeah no no when you see a guy that's that chill you know he's like ripped intestines out of people why can't he just like be chill chill you know he probably goes like that yeah no one's like that, Mika. I don't know about that. I think there are some people that are pretty chill. They're just lying or hiding.

I saw this clip of Tony Hawk landing his last... I don't remember what the trick was called, but it was like... 900? Maybe... No, it wasn't a 900, but it was like a really awesome trick. He's famous for that 900. It's crazy. Yeah. Well, after he landed it, he broke down crying because.

What a wimp. No, I think he was just very like in his feels and passionate about like what. My God. You know, what a baby. He should quit. He should give up. I mean, really? that's so pathetic. I'm sorry.

I thought it was pretty cool to see. I was like, yeah, you know what? This guy has lived like a long legacy, lived a long lifetime trying to land all these. He's like 30 million. He's in his 50s for sure. Dude, like I kind of think the idea of his signature trick the 900 is really funny like it's really dog-brained like the rest of the like skaters you know they're doing this crazy shit they're like flipping the board in technical ways and tony hogg is just like no i spin and he just starts spinning so for those who aren't

familiar you're talking about like spinning 900 degrees yeah like that's just such a like he could have come up with something cooler like maybe he holds up like a rock sign while he does it like what's the trick just spinning but if you think about it it's like kind of hard to spin 900 degrees on a skateboard but he's like all the way up in the air like i don't know just like get it, man. How many rotations is 900 degrees? That's one, two, three? Almost three. Almost three?

I think it's two and a half. Two and a half? That makes sense. Yeah. No, maybe, like, two and three. I don't know. Math, whatever. I mean, how...

Because it would have to be, like, either one full rotation or half. Because otherwise, he's, like, going to fall off the board right i guess he fell off do you guys think schlatt is like an orangutan like an orangutan no he's like bigfoot oh that's pretty good i just i picture like an orangutan in my head like just kind of walking around i think he's got oh sorry hold on i think he's really what yawning that's so professional man are you sorry hey man yeah i just i've had like my third can of like, it's a really sugary drink. It has 28 grams of sugar. Oh, yummy. I had three of them today.

Fuck, you need nine more? Maybe. But honestly, like it's kind of like making me crash. And like, yeah. Do you want to hear something cool is it a jezebel gebergably song it isn't a jezebel gebergably geberger song um you should uh listen to their album called snail core deluxe snail core okay so what are you gonna show snail core by jezebel gebergably geberger is jezebel gabler gabli sorry thank you um i saw this cool thing

on also on tiktok um someone was making an argument for like why chihuahuas should not be classified as dogs anymore no that's so funny but it kind of makes sense so bad for them but it makes sense when you start thinking about it because i think like uh one of the classifications for like determining whether something is a part of the same species is if it can like successfully reproduce and uh are chihuahuas having bad fucks now well it's just like for example like a chihuahua could just not it would not work with many species of dogs because they're not big enough. I always think about that shit. How do they make the dog

breeds? Can you imagine a chihuahua fucking a German Shepherd? That's insane. You gotta be weird to breed dogs. You gotta be a freak, right? You gotta be a weird guy to breed animals. You like watching them fuck. You like watching dogs like pipe. It's weird, man. Yeah, you ask a guy what his career is like i put two dogs together and i watch them find me i make

them fuck what the hell kind of job what is his job his job position dog fucking expert dog sex what how does that happen dude i have to tell people like imagine bringing your dad to school day my dad my dad breeds dogs. It's a fucking weirdo. I guess they would, he would just be a dog breeder. I guess when you put it that way, like it is,

it does, it is a bit unsettling. Yeah. But I, I guess to like bring it back to, yeah, like a Chihuahua would not like just because of its size, it could just not happen with a German Shepherd.

What if they put it on a swing? You know, but then it's like... Go ahead, go ahead. I just, it's so fucked up. Like, these people are playing God. They're making these two beings fuck. Like, they're playing God. Like, that's what it is.

They want to feel like God. Is that fucked? A little bit. They want to play God. That's what it is. want to feel like god is that fucked a little bit they want to play god that's what it is that's part of the argument because like because like uh without intervention what you said the art that's part of the art is that what you said i didn't say that no i didn't say that i did not say that i was trying to say something did i pretend that panda said that because that was funny the art yeah no i was saying uh without like human intervention you like you can't have them reproduce so

do you think it's not naturally occurring? You know what I mean? So it's like, that's the argument. I think that they literally tape like a chihuahua to the to the back of a German shepherd because there's no way it could reach. Like, do they hang it by a string from this? I don't know. I don't know how they do it.

I don't know what they're doing. It's sad. And you think this is art no I was probably trying to say the argument and then like yeah read dogs it's my job

it's not weird you're weird yeah that's it that's pretty much what I wanted to share I just thought it was interesting that's about it too Mika i have a question for you okay let's hear it um burger or like mr crabs um what's the context for this question like what like you're eating him like at a restaurant it's like a mr crabs fondue i'd probably choose a burger because i don't want to eat mr crabs if you guys had to

eat a spongebob character which one would you eat sandy a squirrel don't don't make it weird i can imagine you hunting a squirrel in your neighborhood and fucking like eating it like on all fours in the ground like someone comes out and they look at you and you turn your head to them like really slowly and you're like chewing dude honestly maybe squidward oh yeah

is that messed up to say no honestly maybe squidward sounds really good oh sounds really good oh sounds really good squirty squirty

well what about you guys what about you Astro I'm just thinking about Seinfeld like Jerry Seinfeld he's been on my mind a lot lately the character in Spongebob he probably makes a guest appearance. Yeah, that one episode

where he's in the salty splatoon. Yeah, he's like, what's the deal with Spongebob? Remember that one? No, wait. He was Jerry Springer? What's his name? Jerry. Jerry.

Jerry. Jerry Springer? he's like why is the is that is the squid you know that guy yeah like i didn't know jeremy seinfeld was like i didn't know he was a guest on spongebob i'm just not a three monitor guy, Jerry. I just use two. Two monitors? There's no point if it's two. You need three. Why does he talk like that? And then Kramer opens the door. You ever seen Kramer open the door? Slowly?

Methodically? Well, he likes to slam it open and then just say something. That's kind of how I feel sometimes. Our podcast is like Seinfeld. Is Kramer Kramer? Panda, you're K kramer i don't know shit about isn't he annoying well no dude you just called me annoying no you're the good parts of him like what i think i'm elaine and mika is george and panda is kramer and schlatt is seinfeld i think being called there's a guy called seinfeld And Mika is George. And Panda is Kramer. And Schlatt is Seinfeld.

I think being called George... Wait, there's a guy called Seinfeld? Dude, that's a good thing. The main character's name is Seinfeld. The show's called Seinfeld. It's about Seinfeld. That's his name. I can't believe you just called me George. Gary Garfield. Well, Mika, you just called me George. Jerry Garfield.

Well, Mika, you have to be somebody. I don't want to be George. That's good. You're Schlatt's right-hand man. I don't want to be Schlatt's right-hand man. I want to be my own. You want to be his left-hand man? I don't want to be his left-hand man either.

His left-hand's probably cleaner. When you shake someone's hand, it's kind of gross like they've touched stuff with that i always just immediately think about masturbating like no like not me but like i think they're they've probably done it yeah yeah exactly like you're touching their their that hand that's weird i can't touch people dude it's so scary they've touched their dick with that like viewers think about that like every handshake like they've touched well not every not every handshake 99.9 i don't know maybe not even that many i mean maybe 80 their own dick there are a lot of lesbians their own pussy oh okay you're counting pussy i i see. I'm just saying, like, every hand has touched something nasty,

and you're touching that hand. So you think pussy is nasty? No. I get loads of pussy. What are you... I just caught you. Okay. You caught me.

Mika? Yo, man. Favorite chocolate? Um... Favorite chocolate... It's kind of hard to choose, actually. You're my favorite chocolate. I really like recent.

What? What? If you were in a box of chocolates. Yeah. I would pick you. Thanks, man. You know what? I appreciate that.

Dude, actually, it's kind of hard to choose a favorite chocolate. I feel like there there are a lot of good chocolates out there i like milk chocolate i don't know as a general rule of thumb that's pretty much it panda chocolate hot chocolate hot chocolate chocolate's good have you seen the the entry like the sleep deprived wiki? No. No. That shit is so funny.

What's on it? It has like, like someone has created like a sleep deprived wiki, like a fan wiki. And like it has like all of our lore and it's like way too fucking accurate. Really? Yeah, like it has Panda as Stuart Wilson, age 29, Lithuania. like i don't even know how they got that that's a throwback um and it it has like power scaling like like we have like abilities like we're fucking naruto characters it says panda's abilities are minion speak incompetent winner and master impressionist it says you're capable capable of speaking in the language of minions can you give us a a taste

wait panda you've done you've done better than that before what was that yeah that was not a minion uh how would you guys know that's very insulting you know there's different minion dialects fuck dude honestly that does not insulting you know there's different minion dialects fuck dude honestly that does not even sound like a dialect of minion that sounds like a totally different language you're right i lied it's actually zoidberg oh that's that master impressionist ability i see you activated that panda does have really good impressions like that that part is 100 accurate wait does have really good impressions. That part is 100% accurate. Wait. I have a good Peter impression.

How does the incompetent winner ability work? Can you activate that at any time? Does it take a lot of chakra? Could you go to the store and get a lottery ticket and then use that ability? Or are there limits? It's usually for Mario Party. Oh, you just use it for that?

Yeah, it's only that. actually is like a really funny parody parody of like a power system in an anime that one might be more of a passive ability it's like you can do this amazing thing where you can have a like perfect luck but you can only use it for mario party but, I don't think you're incompetent. Like, I think you know what you're doing. You know? Especially in Mario Party, I feel like... What? I'm a secret mastermind. Yeah, well, I feel like you do have, like, a plan going on.

And you just kind of, like... You just keep it to yourself because you want it to be a secret. You don't want people to know your true potential because you know they would be a secret you don't want people to know your true potential because you know they would be afraid of you holy shit i'm like doofenshmirtz but smart holy fuck me that that was eloquent yeah are you into me i mean i was trying to i told you you would have a husband by friday can i be honest with you? Can I be honest with you? Yes. I'm not into you.

I'm sorry. I don't take no for an answer, Mika. Sorry, man. I'm just not into you like that. You heard an elf on the shelf. Elf on the... Oh, he is there looking at me. What are some of your powers, Astro?

I'm curious. Artistic prowess. Nice. That's true. Yours is seance. Oh, yeah. I do remember there was one episode a long time ago where I spoke to ghosts. How do they have this lore?

Wait, maybe you're writing this. No, I'm not writing i'm not writing it i didn't even like i guess i was aware of the wiki but i never like scrolled on it you go by the name jake no it says in the gta gameplay video you stated that you were created in a laboratory and reveal your name is jake is this true dude honestly i don't remember any of that oh maybe i like someone could write anything about me on the wiki and i'd be like i'd be like okay maybe i don't know yeah probably said that in episode 13 who knows isn't that a wild feeling to think like someone can just like put it on a wiki and say you've said

it a long time but this is why we need references this is why we need sources do they have a source for that this is why we need discord moderators yeah do they have a source on that on that quote they don't have a source but they say that you can do a great impression of tony the talking clock and timmy the elf i don't i don't know who either of those characters are can we hear your impression of tony the talking clock please i don't know who that is it says that you could do a good impression of tony the talking clock hold on maybe i do know who this is come on you know tony says tony the talking clock oh this is a don't hug me i'm scared character yeah i know who this is but i i don't know i don't remember his voice okay if

you don't remember tony the talking clock can we hear timmy the elf dude okay can we hear santa it says you can do a santa claus impression that's such a funny impression to bring up can you imagine you're like applying for saturday night live like okay what impressions can you do i can do a killer santa claus i can be santa oh i could be your santa it says you can do jacksepticeye top of the morning laddies i don't know yeah pretty good i sound a bit like tony the talking clock to my ears but yeah it's hard to switch out of the character once you clock into Tony you can't clock out once I've got this talent it's just a little hard to you know

the talent has become me the talent has started to control me that was an awesome statement the talent has become me that's like a Marvel movie yeah that's like iron man opens his fucking suit dude i came to a stunning revelation the other day i found out should we use this for the patreon section oh you're right a little we should a little more a little treat well if you like what you hear follow us over to the patreon you get episodes. We've got a whole backlog of them. You get bonus shows,

a Minecraft server, Discord server, uncensored videos. Yeah, Baba Booey. Baba Booey.