Sleep Deprived Podcast - WE TALKED TO GHOSTS - Sleep Deprived Podcast #80
Episode Date: October 25, 2022the boys talk about airplanes for 30 minutes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Guys, welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast, episode 80.
Audio listeners heard it first.
Wow.
Episode 80, everybody.
We are getting old, dude.
We're going to get cancer and arthritis and bone spurs and gonorrhea.
Yeah, and gout.
My bladder.
Classic.
My bladder's already ruined, bro.
Yeah, Panda has to take five minutes before we hit record on every podcast now just to go to the bathroom.
A whopping five minutes.
You could have done it any other time.
I wait at the exact time so I don't have to pee during the pod.
You want me to pee during the pod?
Your bladder only holds an hour worth of liquid?
You're letting me out pissing.
Your bladder only holds an hour worth
of liquid? We don't even record this
for that long, man.
I'd be drinking. Sorry you guys don't drink water this for that long man I'd be drinking
a penicillin
you're drinking your own pee
yeah it's not even that you go
to the bathroom that like you should be
able to go to the bathroom that's fine
but
that's stretching it a little bit
the thing is though it's like
we like wait like we
have 30 minutes between recording my god game in the podcast
dude so i was eating for a while like we all took a break i always wait towards the end so i have to
pee during the pod that's understandable you want me to pee during the pod you want me so like if
you pee 30 minutes earlier does your bladder only hold enough pee for an hour dude i'll just be i will be
uncomfortable the whole time i'm i'm fucking i i i must be a camel dude because holy shit i can go
for well i i just i just have a bad bladder days yeah are you drinking any water no okay well that
makes sense just diet coke so you. So you're like a cactus.
I have little challenges with myself.
When I'm on the road, I'll see how far I can drive on the highway with my eyes closed.
I'll time myself.
And I'm around 11 seconds, which is pretty impressive.
And then when it comes to the bathroom.
Impressive is a word to hear.
When it comes to the bathroom, I'll see how long I can go without peeing.
I'll see how yellow and orange I can get.
Have you guys ever illegally pissed?
Bloody?
What does that mean?
Illegally pissed?
Like you pee in a park or like you pee in the bushes or something?
Oh, you got to be careful about that.
Like if you get caught peeing in a park, like that'll be on your record forever, man.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've known people. You get like a sex offender charge because you pee in a park. One'll be on your record forever man really yeah I've known people you get like a sex
defender charge because you peed in a park one time I peed on
someone's sidewalk why
would you do that
because you can't hold it because you
just can't hold your piss you're like my
you're like a dog
yeah I was just running around on the
sidewalk and I made like a line it was like
he just stops wherever
he is and his leg just lifts up.
Panda, do you need to go to the bathroom again?
Yeah. By all means, take another minute.
You know, Panda,
needing to go to the bathroom frequently
can be a sign of diabetes.
He might be diabetic.
Oh, shit.
I should probably pee again then.
I should probably start holding in my pee then.
Do you ever get numbness or tingling
in your extremities?
Yeah, in your balls? Do you ever get a numbness?
Your hands and feet and fingers?
And balls specifically?
Sometimes my balls do tingle.
Do your balls ever have a nice warm fuzzy feeling?
Like someone's...
Like a ghostly entity
is cupping them and warming them
for you doing the trope again no we're not and i i don't i don't really like that bit to be honest
with you all right it was a ghost it's a ghost it's a ghost a ghost it's a ghost a ghost that's
the new trope so guys sleep deprivers happy ha Halloween. It is Halloween. I was just going to say that. Thanks for the segue, Panda.
No problem.
It's Halloween time.
It's spooky season.
I think this video will be coming out.
This is the last.
Actually, we will have an audio version of the next episode coming out on Halloween.
But this will be the meat and potatoes of the Halloween series we do.
And guys, what are you being for Halloween?
Who are you dressing up as?
I'm going to dress up as Mika.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
How are you going to dress up as me?
Well, I'm just going to kind of hammer myself so I'm really short.
So I look like a little goblin. What the hell?
I'm gonna like cut off
my legs. Yeah. So I'm
really short just like
extremely short because
you're short. Is Mika
short? Yeah he's
three feet tall. He's three feet
tall? I think
we have like canon established
heights like we talked about how tall we
are in one of the earlier episodes.
Yeah, Mika's three feet tall.
I'm kind of surprised you missed that I was
three feet tall, Schlatt. And then I'm going to stuff a bunch
of pillows in my shirt.
Oh, yeah.
Because he's
rather wide.
Yes. Rather wide. Guys, honestly, I don't know what I'm going to dress up as.
Can you guys help me?
I'm Patrick Bateman.
I'm dressing up as him.
All the red flags are going on display.
What do you do?
Just put a suit on?
Yeah, I have a suit.
I have all of her people's glasses,
the raincoat, and an axe.
You got a business card?
You got to have the business card ready.
Oh, yeah, I got the business cards.
There's some spots that sell the replicas,
and I definitely did get them.
Nice.
You're not going to, like, do anything.
You're not going to, like, reenact the movie or anything.
Oh, what?
What do you mean?
You smell like shit
I don't need to be dressed up as Patrick Bateman
To do that kind of shit
That's a normal Wednesday
What?
You reek of shit
I smell like shit
Why don't you get a job?
Why don't you get a job?
You know, you do kind of have like a Patrick Bateman
look and energy to you.
Yeah.
Let's see Paul Allen's card.
Do you have a business
card, like just a personal
business card? Oh my god.
The tasteful
off-white coloring. It's going to be hard to unwind
him from this. Yeah, I think he's kind of
fixated on this one right here.
A panic. Give him a hit in the back.
Dude, I'm the gay guy in that movie
who was like, that was about to kiss you.
What?
In the bathroom? Yeah.
I almost killed you, I think.
Yeah, but you didn't because
you really, you really, you love me.
Right. That's really cute, guys.
Yeah. I mean, I can give you a big smooch too, Es love me. Right. That's really cute, guys. Yeah.
I mean, I could give you a big smooch too, Astro.
This is getting a little weird now.
I might have herpes on my mouth, but that doesn't matter.
Yeah, let's just stick to no smooching for this episode.
I can't leave it. Oh, that's right.
We're in a pandemic.
We're in a pandemic.
Because I want to fit in.
So I think for Halloween, I'm going to go as Astro'sist.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Because you're going as me, so I think it's only fair to go as you.
That would be fun.
So you're going to dress up as a really tall, handsome man with a chad-chiseled face and big pecs, right?
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to...
Start an OnlyFans.
No, no.
I'm going gonna have to i'm gonna have to like like i'm gonna have to eat like a lot to like get to like you know what i mean yeah a lot of protein to get as strong as me
i'm gonna i'm gonna have to put on like a lot of muscle a lot of muscle a lot of lean muscle
yeah then i'm gonna have to like get leg lengthening surgery because since oh yeah so
so that so that it's longer than my dick because my dick is about as long as my leg well since you
don't want it to be too well since i'm three feet tall and i need to get to like nine feet tall. I've got like a lot of, I've got a long ways to go.
And then,
uh,
I'm going to have to like grow a mustache and like,
it's gotta be like,
kind of like,
um,
like a greasy looking.
Sexy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hair everywhere.
Like all everywhere.
Hair can grow.
It's there.
Remember, I've been growing out hair on my nipple, like long as i can so it's about a foot long make sure you get that oh my god oh i braided
just make sure that make sure you get that that's really important how many people you think braid
their pubes or like their armpit hair do you think a lot of people do that no really that's a really weird question any normal person would ask if they know it's not
dude the viewers think about it all the time i'm sure and they'll testify for me
i think no one no one will testify you've never wondered?
no that's a lie
it's just not something on my radar panda
it's just I don't
you know what
you tried and you couldn't and you're embarrassed
but that's okay Mika that's fine
holy shit
like I've tried
what?
I can never do it though it's not the same consistency
as normal
hair like like like like I twist it a bit you know yeah yeah like spaghetti
like when you get a fork and spaghetti and you sorry we expand it what are you
gonna be for Halloween I don't know yeah I need your guys's help for that um
could you go as like a my little pony yeah yeah i which character are you most like which character would you go as a panda the derpy one
the derpy one what derpy who's that it's yeah derpy who's eyes just look in different directions
so derp dude you had the funko popo Pop, I hear. Yeah, I did.
I should get it again, to be honest.
And why is that?
I should twist its head again.
So, Panda, in order to go
as derpy hooves, we're gonna need to, like, start
training you to walk on all fours right now.
Oh, okay.
You don't need to make that noise.
You want an apple in my mouth, too?
What?
Can you do the pony kick that's just Scooby Doo
that's not Scooby Doo
that was 100% Scooby Doo
I'm gonna be Scooby Doo
yeah
you still have to train to walk on all fours for that
that's fine
if you would walk on all fours
would you walk on your knees or would you would walk on all fours, would you walk on your knees, or would you, like, walk on your feet, if that makes sense?
Like, with all fours.
Like, hands and feet, or hands and knees?
Depends how horny I am.
What?
You know what, Mika?
We would get, like, those inflatable...
Mika, how about we get an inflatable horsesuit
and like someone's in the front someone's in the back you you can choose honestly i don't care
oh i want to be in the back okay you know fine astro you'll be in the back i'll be in the front
is this like you could be in the front but i i already said i was gonna go as astro's
for halloween oh so you don't you don't want to share a costume with me
Are you afraid of farting it and I'll stink it up
That wasn't like my first thought but like stinky
I am this is probably the most vile epic like the most vile thing we've ever recorded. All you want to do is talk about shit and farts and fucking Stop it! Stop!
Oh, guys, ew.
I fucking hate this.
Why do I still record this podcast?
You suck, man.
Sorry, guys.
Say something wholesome. You got anything fucking good in that brain?
Yeah, I love cats. Okay, that's something we could work with cats cats cats panda any favorite cats
what this this is going terribly guys i like i like grumpy cat
that's so fucked up. Grumpy Cat
died, dude. He did.
Why do you have to turn it into a negative gross thing?
That's not gross.
You're saying Grumpy Cat's
gross? Grumpy Cat's beautiful.
It probably rotted. It died in a long way.
Grumpy Cat
pioneered, dude.
Grumpy Cat was the first internet cat,
man.
I don't know if that's true. There was Long Cat. Pioneer, dude. Grumpy Cat was the first internet cat, man. Yeah.
Maybe...
I don't know if that's true.
There was Long Cat.
Impact fought cats.
Remember Long Cat?
There was...
Ceiling Cat.
Monorail Cat.
Yeah.
Monorail Cat.
Neon Cat.
Grumpy Cat's gotta be...
Puppy Dog Eyes Cat.
Yeah, I'm glad Grumpy Cat died.
Fat White Cat.
Can I have Cheeseburger Cat?
I'm gonna slap the shit out of you.
I think Grumpy Cat just had a bad attitude.
Man, fuck you.
Shut up.
Do you guys know what the world's first meme was, actually?
Yeah, it was the war guy that they paint on the ships, right?
I don't know.
I'm talking about the first internet meme.
Oh.
Do you know?
Have you heard of it?
Probably internet cats. Oh do you know have you heard of it probably internet cats so you know
yeah it was actually like a 3d gif of like a 3d rendered baby just dancing oh oh my god the
dancing bit oh i know it yeah yeah i've definitely seen this before yeah so uh i can't save it and
send it to you but basically for audio listeners it's listeners, it's like a little 3D rendered baby moving its hips from side to side and then pretending to play guitar and then lifting an arm and jumping on its legs.
So it's a baby dancing.
It's a baby dancing, yeah.
You want to know what really makes me happy when I search for this?
The first article that comes up is the iconic dancing baby has been
remastered and minted as an nft wow how much did it sell for every i don't know i don't know hold
on let me let me find this out but it really says something that every fucking meme from back then
nyan cat they deleted the original one of the original videos like charlie bit my finger was deleted and minted
on the blockchain like what the fuck man the obsessive girl or whatever girlfriend meme that
girl did one too i feel like that meme's so forced i feel like that's like industry obsessive
girlfriend yeah that's like industry plant meme it was so back in the day though it was like any
video like that would have shocked people. Yeah, definitely.
YouTube was just like Smosh and Fred. Yeah.
Charlie Bit My Fingers leaving YouTube after $760,000 NFT sale.
That is sad.
What if for Halloween, one of us went as Charlie Bit My Finger, one of us went as Nyan Cat,
one of us went as the dancing baby, and one of us went as the obsessive girlfriend of us went as the dancing baby and one of us went as
the obsessive girlfriend okay mika you go as the baby yeah you're the dancing baby can i be no no
i'm nyan cat okay you're the dancing baby okay so then what would panda and astro be
uh i'll be the obsessive girlfriend i'll be logan paul with the alien hat
is that a meme kind of you can't just force a meme dude that is so mean that is i'm kind of
just forcing it meme you kind of forced dude disaster girl a meme from a photo of zoe roth
in 2005 looking at a house on fire in her neighborhood sold last month in an NFT auction for $500,000.
Neon Cat sold for $580,000.
Jack Dorsey's first tweet sold for $2.9 million.
What a waste of money.
Can you imagine buying that?
Imagine saying, yeah, I i paid two million for a tweet
you know what's so funny like you can look at the graph of open sea sales and traffic and it is down
by like 99 oh yeah i mean it's completely dead at this point it's kind of sad so how much do you
think that that 2.9 million dollar jack dorsey nft is worth now three cents probably
i mean honestly like if you think about it you would have to pay me to like accept that kind of
nft because like that's like an extra five minutes i have to use my computer's electricity and that
that's going on my electricity bill to like receive your meme you know logan paul he had an nft for six hundred thousand dollars and now it's ten dollars
i like your reaction just laughing looking looking back in hindsight the fact that people
would spend that much money for literal childlike drawings of things.
It was really something else.
Yeah.
That's why I bought bricks.
I bought bricks, dude. Bricks were cool.
Bricks were cool.
How much are all your bricks worth now?
Oh.
Have you ever checked?
I actually haven't checked in probably like half a year
live reaction here i go live reaction of the bricks let's see what the floor price is
how much did you spend you think roughly oh oh you know over 9 000 got it um oh good one good
call back okay so the floor is actually higher than i thought the floor is
around 0.3 ethereum uh which i mean it could be nothing which would mean i would lose everything
um i i probably lost many thousands of dollars though like easily maybe even more than that
yeah that's the scariest thing of all so 0.3 ethereum that's like 400 bucks yeah which isn't
bad but i do have a lot of them and i bought them for probably more than double that you know maybe
nfts will go back up you want to see the the biggest l of all time we bought this for a meme we bought this for a meme on the otk channel a loot a loot bag what is it
god fucking knows dude it's the text documents and the floor price is less than one ethereum now
and uh it's like 15 ethereum dude oh no it was really bad yeah what is this it's just like a notepad document
yeah exactly yeah for our audio listeners it's like literally just a black square that so here's
bag number it's just a text document yeah and it says mall fate root studded leather armor of skill cap
of power and so on there's like like five things and it's just text on a black background so the
way that these are supposed to work is that um is that you you get this open source thing,
like on the blockchain,
where it's all original and stuff,
and then it's up to other game developers
to work in all these items into their game
so that people with the NFT
can use their items that are in the text document.
But all this project was,
was the text documents themselves.
And to this day,
I don't think anyone has ever built
something off of this project.
Which is really
kind of sad.
Because why would
you build something off of someone else's
project? Oh,
great. I'm making this game
that incorporates
this blockchain thing. Now I have
to add Fate Root's studded leather
armor of skill
into the game. God knows how many fucking items
you have to add.
Yeah.
Just make your own shit.
You know, this actually makes me want to buy some.
You should. It's only going to go should. It's only going to go up.
It's only going to go up.
And that's the same thing I say about gambling.
Yeah.
I mean, dude, I almost struck it big.
If we recorded that CSGO video for a little longer, I would have been swimming.
You were going to win, dude.
I would have had a butterfly knife fade, dude.
Come on now.
You would have had the op one. I forget on now but i had the the op one i
forgot that's called the dragon breath or something the op dragon lore dragon lore i always wanted
that so this this um real popular nft project recently is called the ladies and uh oh yeah
yeah and look look at this art it's it's literally just like the big tech corpo art style being sold as NFTs.
Ew.
Ew.
It's actually ew.
It's kind of repulsive to look at.
They are.
All of it's repulsive, to be honest.
That's why I went in on bricks.
That's why bricks are still up.
Still up on bricks, guys. Br are still up still up on bricks guys
bricks are off i thought you said that they were down please buy the bricks please buy the bricks
so you know what's funny is that this was gonna be our halloween episode
oh yeah right it's the scariest thing of all i lost ten thousand dollars I lost $10,000!
Yeah.
BitConnect!
Remember that? Remember BitConnect?
Yeah.
You know, since we should do something in the spirit of Halloween,
I am very happy to do a seance with you guys.
I've been training.
Like, in my seance powers,
I'm actually now a registered
psychic. Um, so if you guys have any like relatives or people in the afterlife that
you'd like me to communicate with, I can do that for you. Okay. Uh, my grandfather. Okay. Um,
okay. Um, I'm going to need to get a hold on him.
I'm in my mind palace searching through the afterlife.
What is your grandfather's name?
It's just Paul.
Paul.
Okay.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Okay.
If you replay the tapes, you'll see that I said that before you told me.
I lied to you.
It's Ralph.
I just fucking caught you, dude.
This guy's a fucking faker.
He's a poser.
You're not a real fucking psychic.. It's Ralph. It just fucking caught you, dude. This guy's a fucking faker. He's a poser. You're not a real fucking psychic.
This is actually so funny because I'm getting a Paul who was your biological grandfather.
Wait, what?
Wait, I thought it was Ralph.
Nope.
So it turns out your biological grandfather's name was Paul.
Oh, no.
Yeah. He's communicating with me. grandfather's name was Paul. Oh, no. Yeah.
Oh, my God.
He's communicating with me.
He's telling me something.
I don't even know if I want to know.
I don't want to know what he's going to say.
Are you sure?
Because it's pretty juicy.
Okay.
Let's hear it.
Is it Paul?
My grandfather's name is Paul.
Okay.
Yeah.
What does he have to say?
Oh, really?
Are you on the phone with him? no no okay okay now i'll tell mika mika i have one i'll do michael jackson well hold on i'll do yeah hold on no yeah i'll tell
him like are you sure what oh my dude no you've got no that is way too... Paul, you are a riot.
Okay.
Okay, have a good one, Paul.
All right, sounds good.
Talk to you later.
No, I'll be at the barbecue.
What?
Why are you guys...
Are you flirting with my grandfather?
What's going on here?
All right, Paul, I gotta go.
They're getting a little...
That's my grandfather, man!
So, Astro, I have a message for you from Paul.
Okay.
He says,
he says,
he says, up dog.
What's up dog?
What?
What?
Oh, oh my god!
Paul, you son of a bitch!
Whatever, Ralph was a better grandfather to me anyway. Yeah, that's... oh oh my god oh you son of a bitch whatever Ralph
Ralph was a better grandfather to me anyway
yeah that's
can you do Michael Jackson next
okay sure
guys I'm this is wow
I'm in the spirit realm
and there is no Michael Jackson
here I think he's still alive
what the hell
can you tell where he is oh yeah Tupac do Tupac and there is no Michael Jackson here. I think he's still alive. What the hell? Wow.
Wait, what about Tupac?
Can you tell where he is?
Oh, yeah, Tupac.
Do Tupac.
Okay.
I think he might be alive.
Yeah, I'm not sure on that one.
No, he's here.
Yeah, he's here.
I knew it.
Oh.
Wait, he's in the spirit realm?
Yeah.
Okay, what does he say?
I'm kind of, like, intimidated to talk to him.
He's, like, really cool.
He's bleeding out from a gunshot.
Oh, that is too soon, man.
He died in the 90s.
It's been like 30 years.
Dude, his album All Eyes on Me is so good.
Tupac is kind of a banger artist.
Yeah, Tupac is actually one of the legendary artists of our generation.
I guess the previous generation.
Can you do Queen Elizabeth?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, I've got her.
What do you want to say to her?
Sorry.
Okay.
Yeah, tell her sorry.
I'm communicating with her
with my mind. Yeah, it probably takes a while
for her. She's gonna slow.
It's like a fax machine.
Okay, she...
She has a message.
She says...
Make sure you do the
British accent for authenticity.
Okay, should I just...
Schlatt, this one is for you specifically.
Why you transfer all of your money into
Mika's bank account?
No.
That's what she said. No.
That's what she... So...
Mika, Mika, I can hear her too.
And a panda's.
I don't think that's what's going on, guys.
I...
I think it's pretty clear she wants you to split your money with all of us.
Why would she say that, though?
She doesn't even know you three.
Hey, we had a long-lasting friendship with the queen.
I hid it back in the 80s.
She knows me.
She knows me.
We met back at that island.
Whoa.
That's crazy.
You were there?
Yeah.
Anyways, that'll be $50 for the seance.
Uh-huh.
Can I...
Mika, I'm going to be honest.
I think you're a total bullshitter.
No, I'm not.
I'm actually a trained registered psychic that I just psychicked.
I psychicked you right now.
You don't even know the terminology. You're just saying psychic. No, I don't. I just psychicked i psychicked you right now you don't even know
the terminology you're just saying no i don't i just psychicked you dude i mean i do know the
terminology like i take 50 from like either the the like sleep deprived funds or like
or like you can pay me out of pocket. Like, it's really all up to you.
So,
all right.
We'll get,
we'll,
all right.
How about this?
We will take all the money from the Patreon this month and we'll give it to you.
Okay. Wait,
hold on,
hold on.
That seems fair to me.
I don't know about that.
I don't think,
Panda,
any say in that?
No,
I,
Panda,
Panda agreed to it as well.
We co-opted. Wait, I do think I did. I don't think I did? Any say in that? No, Panda agreed to it as well. We co-opted...
Wait, wait, I don't think I did.
Yeah, hold on here. So then we have
three votes to one vote
asterisk. Looks like all the money's going
into Mika's account.
Excellent. Oh, this is funny because
I changed my name to Mika.
Well, I have two votes on the board.
This is how we set up the board.
Because I'm fucking based.
I'm going to kill myself, Mika, and then you talk to me in the afterlife no don't do that
no don't kill yourself you're too hot
can you not anyway if you want to see it if i kill myself or not
come through to the Patreon episode, guys.
We're actually going to talk about Halloween stuff.
And Astro's going to kill himself.
And we'll have a seance there.
Patreon.com slash sleep deprived.
30 more minutes of this beautiful podcast. You are from a past life.
Hope you're doing well, bro.
Hope you're doing well, bro.
Bababoo.
Signal coming in and out.
Guys, you gotta say bababoo, you guys.
Hope you're doing well, bro. You guys are not saying bababoo. Everybody needs you. Baba Booey. Sigma coming in and out. Guys, you got to say Baba Booey, guys. You guys are nuts.
Baba Booey.
Everybody needs you.
Needs you.
Everybody needs you.
You know, I get comments mad at me.
Ooh, nani, nani.
I get comments mad at me when I don't say Baba Booey.
So they're going to be pissed at you guys when you guys don't say it.
Hey.
Hey.
No bitch in my body.
No bitch in my body.
No bitch in my body.
New beginnings.
New beginnings.
New beginnings. New beginnings New beginnings
Like I bought the sun going down
Time to start your day
Can't get being laid
No you need the money
If you're gonna survive
Every night
Every night
Every night
Every night
Wait guys guys guys guys, guys.
Hold on.
Guys, listen to a panda.
What is the panda singing?
That is really awkward.
Baba Booey.
Shut the F up.
I don't want your conversation.
Me can say it.
Rolling marijuana.
That's a cheap vacation.
But every day, shit. Every night cheap vacation. But every day, shit.
Every night, shit.
But every day, shit.
Every night, shit.
Night, shit.
Night, shit.
All my life.
You know, one of my celebrity crushes was Nicki Minaj.
When I saw that Anaconda video, I was like, goddamn.
Baba Booey.
That's a great idea, Panda.
What?
Baba Booey.