Sleep Deprived Podcast - WE'RE ADDICTED TO TIKTOK - Sleep Deprived Podcast #63

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

the boys talk about airplanes for 26 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everybody, welcome back to Sleep Deprived Podcast, episode 63! Yeah! Yeah, baby! Yeah! Yeah, baby! Guys, I'm so tired. I actually want to just crawl up into a ball and roll away like a little roly-poly. Grow up!

What are you, some kind of baby? Roly-poys are fucking cool. What, do you want your little milky? What the hell are you talking about? I'm just saying. Do you want your little pacifier? Oh my god. Do you call it a roly-poly astro yeah i

called that i bet mika calls it a pill bug oh see i actually do call it a little pill bug roly-poly sounds so much better roly-poly bro it's not by choice this is just how i grew up this is how i grew up wrong maybe i need to roll up into a ball and then go somewhere yeah well go to and switch your fingers yeah yeah man would would you guys roll me around if I was a roly-poly Mika I'd roll I'd really open a blunt and I'd smoke you that Mika pack hits different dude would you still love me if i turned into a roly-poly i'm thinking of the image of the guy turning into a bug in his bed that's a classic one you don't like uh no i don't know in the bed check this image out one of the greatest images

of all time whoa that's actually really cool um for our audio listeners it's like uh it's like a gigantic it's a beetle in a bed like i said it's pretty much exactly what astro said but the beetle is like gigantic it's like seven feet tall that's way too big for a beetle imagine cutting him open he'd be all juicy and shit oh he'd be like one of those TikToks from China of the dude with that fucking orange. Dude. And he cuts the orange open and a literal pool full of juice comes out. Have you guys been seeing those TikToks where it's people covered in white powder like flour or something and then someone takes a knife and like pretends to cut their mouth open and then they spit out like eggs and egg yolk what the fuck no i haven't mika i

haven't seen that you know it's tiktok has decided that's what you need to see and what you want to see that's no dude tiktok just shows you random shit sometimes no no no well yeah maybe it does send out little feelers from time to time it does it does every now and then every now and then i'll get you know like a really buff man dancing and then it's like tiktok what is oh yeah that's just a coincidence that's that's just a feeler yeah yeah let's see if he likes this one if he changes mind i'm like no and i always hold it and go not interested after watching it yeah sometimes shows you like a big fucking balls like throbbing just random just a feeler yeah yeah and you know what it's just a feeler and you can you can take pride in that that you know like you're not into that yeah right like

you're beating the algorithm at its own game yeah dude imagine if the youtube algorithm was like tiktok like what what no i'm serious what what what if bro yeah it'd be so much better well i will say like tiktok is kind of perfected it really has and watch retention dude i i like sit down to to watch tiktok for like five seconds because i'm like okay i have like five seconds to kill i'm like waiting for my food no it turns into two hours like it's actually it's terrible it's too good and then you go to youtube shorts which is the closest thing you're talking about a panda and i just see Family Guy clips and Reddit TTS videos. Yeah, YouTube Shorts is awful.

They got a long way to go, in my opinion. It's kind of... See, the thing is, YouTube Shorts, they don't send you feelers like TikTok does. Yeah, no cock and ball. No, they don't send you feelers. They lock you into the Family Guy clips once you watch one of them. Exactly. Yo, I fuck with the Family Guy clips, so I'll be watching the South Park ones

and the frickin' Morty ones. They're good, but I'm telling you, the algorithm is all about the feelers. I'm gonna open my feed right now. This is how much it costs to own a 2012 McLaren MP412. It's just a car.

Oh, Andrew Tate. Here's Andrew Tate. I have a picture of my father on the screen. Just failed on stepate. Here's Andrew Tate. Just failed on step one. I identified me incorrectly. Seems to be the problem. Clip from House MD. Ludwig clip. Oh, my God.

It's terrible. It's terrible. Any cock? No, no. And you know what? That's what makes it a good feat sometimes. You know, like those little feelers. Those big feelers. Big. know like those little feelers those big feelers big those big thick feelers i actually um i i got a feeler like just today

i got a feeler no no no it's not last night man wow that's good oh that's pretty rude man um as you're saying mika yeah so i i was uh i was i was getting a feeler earlier I was getting a feeler from tick-tock and It was this guy who was like super like just just stunning just like muscular, okay, like lean shirtless and

He started like dancing on a bar and like he did like a one-armed Handstand on a bar and like was like able to like move his legs and stuff while he was doing that it was nuts He showed his nuts No, but needless to say I hope I get more videos like that in my algorithm Yeah, I got a feeler the other day that was showing the recipe for napalm. Very strange feeler. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Can you recite it? Is that legal? I love seeing TikToks of really sad... Because they added the photo compilations one now, right? Yeah, they did. So you just add photos and it scrolls. I love seeing TikToks with really sad music and then just pictures of suburbs.

That's actually so true. It's like, dude, your life is so hard i'm so sorry i'm so sorry you hate the sub i mean if i lived in the suburbs i would be catching feelers yeah i have a lot of feelers it's like just an image of austin texas with that like 12 to sing beside your bed. Oh, dude, fuck that audio. I hate that shit. That shit really fucks with me. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah, man. And it's just fucking something. I hate that audio. Speaking of catching feelers, is anyone feeling excited for the 4th of July? No. No. No. Great segue, dude. Thanks, man.

Fuck 4th of July. I've been working on it. What do you mean, fuck 4th of July? Waste of time. Loud. Wasted. What? Boring.

Ew. America was born on that day. Fuck America. I'm moving to China. We'll all be going there soon. I'm moving to China. We'll all be going there soon. China will be moving to us soon. Do you guys have any plans

though? Are you guys going to do anything special? There's a burn ban in effect. It's even more illegal to send off fireworks now. Burn ban. You can't even... It's even more illegal to send off fireworks now. Burn ban. You can't ignite anything. Because it's so dry.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Because I live in a desert. You probably can't even smoke a cigarette. No. Yeah, you flick that thing and it's over. Yeah. No, I flick that thing. Yeah.

Yo, this is what Texas would be like right now. It's a gif of Spongebob and Patrick just drying up and dying. Guys, would you guys- Oh, go, they're both crustaceans, so that makes that choice easier. Gosh, I think I'd rather be Larry the Lobster. Yeah, 100%. He just seems like

more of a down-to-earth, chill, free-spirited guy. He's poor. I was gonna say, he makes no money. He's having fun. He's having fun. He's having fun. He's living his best life. He stacks no paper. I've never seen Mr. Krabs depressed.

I've never seen Mr. Krabs depressed. He's always happy. He's like, yippee, money. He's happy, bro. Money, money, money, money. He might be even happier than Larry. Dude is probably. Yes.

The dude lives in a huge anchor. No, but... Yo, that anchor is tight as fuck, dude. Have you seen that shit? Have you ever seen Larry the Lobster's house? Have you ever seen Larry's house? No. No, because it's fucking almost.

He doesn't have one. Look at this image of Mr. Krabs. You think that's happy? Nah, bro, that's out of context. It's out of context, bro. There's a beer right there. For our audio listeners, it's just a picture of Mr. Krabs

looking extremely depressed it's like green light he's sitting on his bed there's like a bottle of alcohol like to his right he's like this is a real episode by the way I'm pretty sure his wife is dead you know I she is and you know why he's sad

it's because he's a slave to capitalism exactly no eat Mr. Krabs Mr. Krabs actively sad it's because he's a slave to capitalism exactly no no eat mr crabs actively benefits from capitalism he benefits from it dude yeah he does it and spongebob doesn't he's working seven so why why would he be very happy no spongebob is so happy with his shitty job. Spongebob likes capitalism too. Spongebob loves capitalism, dude. No, he doesn't.

Yes he is, he's a wage slave, dude. He goes to work, comes home. No, he buys into it. You guys are so uninformed. Then why did he picket the Krusty Krab in that one episode? That's true. Because TikTok sent him a feeler. With that suburb shit. that's what squidward's getting

all day at work i used to wake up in my bed in the morning that's what squidward gets bro dude if you think about it squidward is kind of black pilled like absolutely absolutely he does that even mean who's red pilled in spawn but who's the red character dude i'll tell you who's actually red pilled the tattletail strangler remember him yeah Remember him? Yeah. You're gonna have to explain that. This guy's got a don't tread on me sticker. Audio listeners, that's a picture of the Tattletail Strangler with disgusting hands holding a Bitcoin.

That's actually, this is a picture of all Bitcoin users. Yeah, it's just drops and tanks. I found an awesome andrew tate tiktok who the fuck is andrew tate you keep you don't have to explain that it's got 11 you don't know andrew tate no i've never heard of him bro wait panda you don't know him no how do you not you do not you must just not use tiktok dude i use TikTok all the fucking time. It's bad. No, no, you don't use TikTok. This guy looks like Pitbull, bro. He looks like Pitbull? Like Mr. Worldwide Pitbull?

Yeah, he does. You saw his $50 Discord access. Actually, we do too. Guys, I had an idea. What if we made a role in our server that's like ten thousand dollars and that's so you can actually type we should um we should do a very expensive tier that lets you post in like the memes channel or something that's what i'm thinking like really expensive yeah guys we gotta we gotta think about how we can uh how we can get our funds up.

And Panda, I think you had the awesome idea of selling pet rocks or pet trash. Yeah. Pet trash? Okay, so my theory was, you know the rock in a box thing that made millions of dollars? It was just a rock in a box? No. Okay, well basically, I want to do the same thing with us we just slap our faces on it but it's like trash or grass or wood easy and you guys grass yeah dude that's actually genius if you think about it like touch grass we'd be selling grass

like a service where you could send grass to other people then they would have to leave their home yeah that's actually pretty smart i want to send grass as personal on twitter we dox them and then send grass you know what that's kind of like it's kind of like um inappropriate gummies that i won't mention on air and it's like hey haha i just sent you a bag of of uh and then the thing but it's like a gummy so it's like oh i just sent you a bag of, of, uh, and then the thing, but it's like a gummy. So it's like, oh, I just sent you grass to touch because we're pals and we're laughing. We're talking about the penis gummies, right? Dude, you said that like the last week you said penis like last week. No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did. I saw a clip. Oh yeah. I saw a clip of you saying penis. No, I didn't. I did too. Anyways, I like your idea of penis last time. Yeah penis. No, I didn't. Anyways, I like your idea of... You did say penis last time.

No, I didn't. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. Here's the clip. Mika, have you ever said penis before? I can't hear it for some reason. Oh, you can't hear it.

I can't hear it. No, it's because I put in my microphone and it's been... You can hear us just fine. I can hear you for some reason, but I can't hear my internal audio right now. Mika won't say penis right now, but when the podcast ends,

he says the most terrifying sentences ever uttered. So, listen, guys guys I think we should. It is literally the shit that should play when you hear that weird ass creepy song on TikTok. Anyways. Anyways.

Anyways I was thinking I was thinking we should do like a sub box like a sub box Subscription service And Mika's like, penis Penis, penis, penis Cock, cock, cock, balls I don't, smegma

I don't do that, I never say that Mika, say it Mika, say it on the Patreon segment Will you say smegma in the Patreon segment? Uh Mmm I guess the patreon segment will you say smegma in the patreon segment uh i guess maybe i don't know all right subscribe i guess you'll have to our best ed yet yeah so actually speaking of the Patreon, we had a...

Someone wanted us to talk about cringe moments we experienced in online games or any context online related. I feel like every single gamer in voice chat is annoying. There's, like, never a good interaction. Dude, so I was, like, playing fortnite earlier today and i was under the impression that a lot of adults played fortnite like i thought it was a game that yeah i thought what what gave you that impression i just thought like it was a game that that adults played and like had fun with as like i'm playing fortnite but um I got into a lobby I've ever heard in like creative mode and like everyone on the mic must have been like six or seven yeah and they were just like they were just doing

that six or seven year old thing kids do where they like mouth breathe into the mic and like talk to their siblings who are watching them play yeah that's that's that's totally not a kid thing that's all every adult does that dude okay well maybe adults are mouth breathing too but like there's like a special way kids do it and they do that like that kid cough anyways i i felt really cringe so i guess that's my cringe did you did you try to talk to him hell no i just muted them and like moved on with my life they probably needed your callouts man you threw damn mika you threw you threw for the no man i was trying to get the dubs wow hey panda yo i heard you finally fixed the worst computer ever designed for use.

I did. It took a long time. I had to clone my HDD to my SSD, which took like a week. What? And I had to change my motherboard. What? And I had to get a new monitor because it stopped working. What?

I had to double clock the RAM. I actually did. I had to do that, although I had the same RAM as before because it stopped working. What? I had to double clock the RAM. What? I actually did. I had to do that, although I had the same RAM as before because my RAM is still good. You switched around the GTI. He died. I had to change my graphics card. I had to get drivers. And then you hacked into the mainframe.

Yeah. I found out. Here, if any viewer out there knows about this, for some reason, if I plug too many USB devices into my computer, my Wi-Fi stops working. I'm going to tell you what it is. You had like 30,000 viruses. No, I didn't.

You did. I had like six. You're browsing like... That is more viruses than you should have. I have zero now. That's six too many, Panda. Maybe if someone gave me torrent links, I didn't have viruses. That's six too many, Panda. Maybe if someone gave me torrent links that didn't have viruses, this would happen.

Do you just click all the ads on the side of the websites? No, I download pirated software. Right, so maybe if you torrented the software, you wouldn't get viruses? Is that what you just said? No, if someone gave me good torrents that didn't have... Maybe torrenting will be the safer way To get software for free

No, I'm just trying not to get viruses from that shit Because I always get viruses from it Panda, what have you torrented? In Minecraft What have you torrented in Minecraft? Like hypothetically, what did you torrent in Minecraft? Literally everything Except games

So what are we talking like? What do you use to edit? Vegas Like, hypothetically, what did you torrent in Minecraft? Literally everything. Except games. So what are we talking, like, what do you use to edit? Vegas. I have, like, every Vegas. Why do you have every Vegas? Because some of them don't work. So hypothetically in Minecraft... Because you torrented them. Nah, bro.

Are they, like, they consistently don't work, or you just open random ones until one of them works? It's all different. One of them just doesn't open. Another one is super slow and bugs as fuck. The other one just isn't good. Okay. Some Vegas's, the upgrades get worse.

It's very interesting. I'm on Vegas 16 right now, and honestly, it's fine. That's what I'm recording this audio with right now. And honestly, it's fine. That's when I'm recording Saudi with right now. You're recording with Vegas? Why are you? That's weird. It's easy. You just press one button. It's the same way on Audacity.

You just press one button. Yeah, but with this way, you can record it while also making a video. So it's a lot faster. So Panda, our editor, Moist panda my um our editor moist uh-huh who's our editor he pays for his adobe suite oh oh i see moist you pirated too no no i'm proud of you bro i'm proud of you bro everyone here's too afraid to pirate.

He's not. He's not. He's paying for it like a law-abiding citizen. And here you are. Here you are. Dude, I would rather end it all than pay for anything Adobe. I can kind of see that because Adobe is a pretty terrible company. Yeah.

And they gouge. They kind of suck, man. I'm not going to lie. What do you mean? Adobe is my terrible company. Yeah. And they gouge. They kind of suck, man. I'm not going to lie. What do you mean? Adobe is my favorite company. Is it actually? They leaked all my passwords and email. Oh, I see. You were being sarcastic with me.

Yeah. Dude, remember in 2013 when they had 38 million accounts get breached wait did they actually yeah you know you know what company has never had anything breached has always been there for me since the beginning has never let me down he's gonna say epic games nope hit film express that is literally free software yeah yeah it's free panda take notes i would be honest with you panda i also pirated sony vegas hypothetically in minecraft thank you i did i did i did yeah this is the sleep deprived podcast it's not the the breaking laws and and destroying the pillars of society podcast i'm gonna turn it like right now oh my god i'm gonna do it right astro are on the new wave

i'm downloading seinfeld right now well i mean while they while they're breaking the law uh miki do you want to read some of the patron suggested, uh, little things that they want us to say? Yeah. I was joking. I do not pirate software. Panda. You want, you want this torrent link to Sopranos season three?

Yeah. Let's, uh, let's go for it. On the Patreon guys, there's a tier where you can tell us to say whatever you want. And, uh,

why did you, what do you mean? Am I in a bathtub? I just heard like bathtub squeaks when you were like you were asking me if I wanted to read the thing. So, our patron Milksock3 said, Sing I Ain't Got No iPhone. How does that go? Should we make it up?

I don't know. I don't think I've ever heard... Oh! Oh, you know it? This is some flip note Hatena shit. Oh, okay. I ain't got no iPhone. I ain't got, yeah, I ain't got no iPhone.

Oh, shit, it was I hate myself and I wanna die. What? I hate myself and I wanna die. I ain't got no iPhone. Yo, shout die. Yeah. I ain't got no iPhone. Yo, shout out Flip Notes. My heart is breaking, digging suicide. I love Flip Notes.

Flip Notes is fucking awesome, man. Flip Notes is fucking awesome. That's when they actually made a song about suicide because of not having an iPhone. And thank you for bringing up that great memory, Milk Suck. Classic.

Mika, you want to hit the next one? Yeah. Nazo the Ultimate wants us to sing the Reese's Puff rap song. So, uh... Reese's Puff. Reese's Puff. Peanut butter chocolate flavor.

Let's go! Wrong part! Peanut butter chocolate flavor. They make the morning time epic. Pickle says, yo. Yeah, they say they make the morning time epic. What says yo Yeah they say they make the morning time epic What's that pear that packs that punch The unique taste so creamy with a crunch P, B, and C Is what I'm thinking of

Do you know these for real I know them R, double E to the E, X, S And it only can be found in my Reese's Puffs You can only be found Peanut butter, chocolate, grape, one step, grape, one to come can only be found... Peanut butter chocolate, great one-step, but one that can buy the money, it's a one-time epic.

One-time epic. Yes, sir. R-E-E-S-E-S. Yes. E to the U, double Reese's Puffs. Oh, I thought that was... Yeah, that's just five of them. No, they say bald at the same time.

Don't worry. We did that perfectly. Pickle says, Yo yo i already said that one ginger that's 25 for that pickle yeah ginger guru says hey siri what is unit 731 here's what I found oh that is not good that is a horrible human atrocity

beyond my comprehension Haywix says I was circumcised with Windows sniping tool Haywix says I was circumcised with Windows sniping tool Snipping tool Oh my god

You're gonna get on my ass about that It's not a sniping tool Maybe if you keep pirate in Windows they'll snipe you Hey Panda Can you pirate some... No, this is too mean. I won't. Some bitches?

Say some bitches, weren't you? No, I wasn't going to say that. You were going to say bitches. Say penis right now. Say penis. Say penis. I wasn't going to say that at all. Say penis.

I think we should move into the patron Mika I think you should say penis In the patron segment Alright guys Patreon.com If you pay us any amount of money It is embarrassing if you can't afford it But the podcast

It doubles in length and we're about to do that Right now Thanks for watching Bye