Sleep Deprived Podcast - WOULD YOU RATHER - SDP #129

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 29 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Podcast, episode 129. Hey, we have a special episode for you today. We are going to be doing a full episode of Would You Rather. So we asked you guys on Twitter for your Would You Rather questions, your burning, hard-hitting, logical equations. And Mika is going to be our host, reading the questions, and then we'll all answer. Yes, absolutely. These were viewers submitted from our viewers and listeners over on our Twitter at Sleep

Deprived, so hit us up there in case you want to participate in the future. This one, I really like this question. First one comes in from Joe SF. Would you rather be a squirrel or a mouse? Oh, my God. I'd rather shoot myself. Yeah, same. Are you kidding me?

Why don't you want to answer that question? I'd rather be a squirrel. I'd rather be a squirrel. Jeez. I could be a flying squirrel. I'm actually very torn on this one. If I'm actually going to sit here and think about this stupid revolting question um i think i think that there's benefits to both i feel like a mouse honestly might actually be a better life because you can get in like the nooks and crannies like

you can go inside houses and like live off of other people's you know food and and stuff i feel like it would be fun to just have like a tunnel like inside somebody's wall and you're like hanging out with your family and you like go and you like chew on a wire and you die i think that's like a fun like more of a exhilarating life so for me i'd pick a mouse you know i agree actually like it's like you're you're probably a lot warmer in someone's house like if you're a squirrel you have to live in trees when it rains and shit like exactly yeah pretty much uh this one comes in from dr don i okay i will say i have a squirrel deck in magic the gathering i want to build a mouse deck and i have been wanting to for like two years now is there a mouse commander yeah there are rat commanders and mice commanders.

Are there mice commanders? Unfortunately, they're just rats. See, I don't... That's not the same. Like, I know, but it's the best we can do. All right. All right, this one comes in from Dr. Don Kedich, PhD. Would you rather have dinner with Schlatt or $250,000?

$250,000. I would take the $250,000. Wait, guys, let's think about this. I mean, the ability to talk to Schlatt is pretty big. He would have a lot of knowledge, and we don't get to talk to him very much. Yeah. Yeah, because it's not like we can ask him anything, anytime. No, we can't do that it's not like we can just dm him like at any time to like ask him whatever we want so it's like this would

be a really good opportunity you're right to say the dinner of schlatt yeah wow good yeah i mean we could learn so much from him that we could make all that money and then some yeah i think the knowledge you would gain is much more valuable than actually 250 000 i mean that's nothing change dude that's baby change yeah this one comes in from bisco monster energy fem cell a panda fan daughter or sanrio cotton Candy Vape Incel Mikasakis Fan Son? The second one. I thought that was someone's username. Sanrio is cool. That's why I'm picking the second one.

I'm picking a panda because I'm awesome. I respect that, a panda. That one's awesome. Okay, this one comes in from Animal. Longtime artist of the show. Would you rather find a shell in your laundry or someone else's sock? A shell? Yeah.

I think like a seashell, yeah. I guess I'd rather have a shell than somebody else's sock. Yeah. That would be kind of scary. I honestly would have an anxiety nightmare i'd be like what the fuck how did this sock get here dude uh recently i did laundry and i i don't know if i just had a brain moment because it was like a public washing machine and dryer i don't know if i had a brain moment but i might have like i don't remember if it was my sock or someone else's but you you came home with an extra sock yeah i think you

still have it no no i i would have kept it and tried to find a match yeah yeah or i'm trying to fit it over my hand maybe it's like a canon event do you ever lose socks like i hate that shit sometimes i i get my laundry out of the dryer and i there's just one sock unaccounted for and it's become it becomes like a side quest in my life like legend of zelda like i have to like i'm just like constantly searching for this one sock no if that happens i just give up and i wear mismatched socks yeah i mean that's how i've had to do it there's i have a couple socks that aren't matched panda what were you saying i have no idea word this one comes in from Path Reacts.

Would you rather be famous for something you didn't do or have your greatest achievement go completely unnoticed by the world? My greatest achievement completely unnoticed by the world. Yeah, I think that's a good question. Would you rather be famous for something you didn't do or have your greatest achievement go completely unnoticed by the world it depends like maybe my greatest achievement is that uh i'm a really good archer but then i could just prove it i think my greatest achievements are already unnoticed so it's just

like my current life so i'll just take it i think there's an interesting like moral dilemma here because it's like i i think i'd be an like uh emotionally annoyed for like the rest of my life that i'm famous for something i didn't do yeah i don't like that would not be satisfying i feel like it would be go ahead panda it could be really cool though like maybe people think you killed someone yeah that's awful like no no no like uh you know like uh someone bad if you're just describing you're describing me uh being in jail for like like no no like they didn't do it well it's not proven but everyone thinks it you know i see what you're saying oh you're talking about that uh

that that football player but if you're famous for it if you're famous for it couldn't they put you on trial because they would want to investigate no i honestly i i kind of see what pan is thinking i leave the country and never come back remember that guy that that football player that strangled or supposedly remember famous or something he didn't do yeah right innocent that's fair um i would rather have my greatest achievement go completely unnoticed yeah i mean if i'm speaking honestly sam i think that's already how i live yeah i think it would just be like uh too difficult to like you know every like i feel like i would i would be very unhappy if i was famous for something i didn't do yeah yeah thanks path would you rather eat shit or die from starry die for what shit like you just die or you eat shit oh um i it depends

on when you're asking me this question i think i could pick either one i think right now i'm feeling i'd rather eat shit but ask me tonight i might i might pick die dude i'll eat shit today please please eat shit every day I'll eat shit and it'll be my greatest achievement and it'll go unnoticed please keep eating shit wait wait wait to go back to the greatest achievement one what if your greatest achievement is something

so awful that you don't want people to know yeah I mean it could be are you implying that you murdered because it kind of seems like it well maybe I love eating shit but I'm really embarrassed for people knowing I love eating shit. But you probably should have talked about it, because now I think you eat shit. There's a lot of layers to this question. There's a lot of layers here.

The eating shit one? I think that one's the greatest achievement one on that path. Ours are like onions. So we're all eating shit, I guess, right? Yeah. All right are like onions. So we're all eating shit, I guess, right? Yeah. Alright, next question. Oh, come on. This one's from OfficiallyPuffDG. Would you rather have unlimited bacon

but no games? No! No! Bacon, fucking, I don't know, video games. Shut up. Games. Next one. Bacon. Okay, this one, you guys gonna love this one this one's from ivori rosewood would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more games or games unlimited games

but no more games next skip i'm gonna kill you would you this one comes in from you don't know me die die die would you rather that was really good thank you would you rather scare the hose at the goon sesh or never be able to jelk the sampha ever again i would rather never jelk to sampha again that's my answer what if i just don't want to do that in the first place i can just listen to sampha what was even the first place? I can just listen to Sampa. What was even the first... This question was so deranged, I forgot what it was. There was like five internet words. Would you rather scare the hoes at the goon sesh?

Okay, I think a goon sesh already inherently scares the hoes. I don't think... Well, no, if you have a goonette. If you have a goonette. Okay, i guess you could scare your gunet i think if you're having goon sessions you should keep that to yourself you might be scaring the hose already um and the second option is never jelk to sampha again yeah first of all sampha isn't real secondly i yeah i already don't do that so yeah i guess that one yeah i can just listen to, I already don't do that. So yeah, I guess that one. Yeah, I can just listen to Sampha.

I don't need to jelk to listen to Sampha. I still think it's impossible to listen to Sampha because that's not real. But yeah, I'll pick the second one. Word. Okay. Panda? I still don't understand. I'll pick the second one.

Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. This one comes in from Evie Forth. Would you rather be the or the so the then the eat apple or eat the cinnamon toast crunch? This is super lore and important. Cinnamon toast crunch. Cinnamon toast crunch.

Cinnamon toast crunch. I agree. That's a locked in. Easiest question we've done yet. Ooh, this one's a good one. From Sarawara would you rather be deathly allergic to your favorite food or have to eat your least favorite food once a week deathly allergic to my favorite food because i think like i can go without it but i really don't want to eat the shit i hate like every week there's a lot of good foods out

there like it's all honestly it's like hard to even pick what my favorite food is like i think i can get by without it whatever it is panda i don't even know what i hate the most shit i don't know if it's that's not food to some people it is also you said you'd eat it earlier that was that yeah that was serious however yeah i think you're eating shit every week if you pick that one i feel like i feel like you could get used to your least favorite food through the mere exposure yeah that's true about bull testicles you guys eating bull testicles every week i mean maybe maybe you can put in like dressing or deep fry it yeah fuck off i'm just not gonna eat my favorite food i'll just eat pizza or something i think i think i'll do the favorite

food one yeah there's so many bad foods yeah okay um gosh uh would you would you this one comes in from gabriel mb underscore underscore would you rather have a would you, would you, this one comes in from Gabriel MB underscore underscore. Would you rather have a, would you rather have a skip dialogue button IRL or a backlog? A backlog button? My life is like a video game. Okay. So what's the backlog button? Is that like you have a recorded like history of everything everyone's ever said to you?

Uh, oh, um, I kind of interpreted it as like a go back moment button like you can go back and like did it say backlog maybe maybe that's maybe it is like a record of everything i feel like it'd be more of like a record um honestly i don't think the record would really be like that important like yeah that's what you would get yeah i think that record would really be, like, that important. Yeah, that's what Twitter users would get. Yeah, I think that actually would just be, like, more stressful than it would be fun. I think so, too. But I think, like, the skip dialogue button would be fucking awesome. Like, I could just, like, skip so much shit.

I would choose the skip dialogue button as well, because I feel like i would stress out over everything everyone has ever said to me yeah i think that one would just be like neutral because i don't think i would really use it i'd get the other one because that way like if i ever forget something i can just remember that's actually a good point and you could you would always know the truth that's true yeah i'd still do the skip one. That's a good question. This one comes in from Graham slash Mimi. Would you rather be allergic to most vegetables, most fabrics, most animals, and most bodily fluids, or most

hygiene products? Oh my god, that's a lot of options. Definitely not animals. What were some of the other ones? Vegetables, fabrics, and bodily fluids. Bodily fluids? Like, even my own? Probably, yeah.

That's a pretty horrible one to pick. Yeah, I think it's the hygiene products for me. That's the one you'd pick? I would be allergic to hygiene products if I could. Then you can't, like, brush your teeth. But it says most hygiene products. Like, maybe you can find something that works for you i'd pick fabrics i think i mean if you but it's like grouped together go ahead you're allergic to your bodily fluids that means you're just in constant pain right yeah that's the that's like definitely the worst one to pick

honestly okay actually hear me out i might actually pick animals because I could just take allergy pills. Oh, okay. Never mind. That's fair. I thought those were all grouped. Because there's really only one animal I want to be around all the time, and that's a cat, or my cat.

And I've known people who are allergic to cats that just take allergy pills. So I kind of just defeated your question with epic logic, Ben Shib both style i i interpreted the question as like you're allergic to vegetables fabrics animals bodily fluids or hygiene products oh yeah i pick vegetables is that how it was written uh yeah i think i would still pick the first one actually i think being allergic to most hygiene products would just be really annoying. That's fair.

If we're able to choose then I would pick like... I'd pick animals. No, I don't know. I like animals. Yeah, but it's like... I'm not really coming in contact with animals other than my cat. And I could just take an allergy pill. Or just deal with it.

I want to get a big puffy face or something. Big puffy penis. All righty. This one comes in from Taryn. Taryn Bubs. Would you rather have a really small room with a big bed or a big room with a really small bed? Small bed. Small room with big bed.

I think having a big bed is very important for sleeping. If I'm in a small bed, I'm just so uncomfortable. Yeah. I think... I don't really need a big room either. I would choose the big bed as well. Especially for a room that has my bed in it. I'm fine with just having a room that's just the bed.

I could sleep on the floor. Male living spaces panda which one are you choosing i'm gonna choose a small bed i could sleep on the floor if you put a blanket on the floor i could sleep on it that's fair yeah i respect that answer i do i'm still going with the big bed i I need good sleep. All right, let's see. You would not believe how many games, unlimited games or bacon questions. No, I actually do believe. This one comes in from Salsa. Would you rather have a nine-foot pickle

that you can summon at any time or jump really high? Jump really high. I would jump really high. What the fuck am I going to do with a pickle? Yeah, I think the pickle... Is it a sentient pickle? Is it Pickle Rick? I'm not sure.

I think it's just nine feet tall. Okay, so hear me out. What was the second option again again just so i know for sure you can jump really tall okay so i i the pickle is interesting because i think you could start a pickle company i think you summon the nine foot pickle you chop it up you jar them you just start selling it and then when you're ready you summon another one and start a pickle world hunger yeah i give just nine foot pickles everybody yeah i'm going with the pickle it seems like a superpower probably yeah i feel like i could jump into a bank or something or if i i don't know if i jump into a rob a bank and i go

to jail i could just jump out of the jail really high and then rob again and keep doing it yeah that's how it works there's just no ceilings in any building. But you could go outside. I guess. I mean, how... Yeah, I guess in the jail instance, you're right. You could jump out when you're outside. There's a lot you can do with the pickle. The pickle is just...

I mean, it's sort of like a JoJo stand, too. You just have a pickle with you. But is it the same pickle? Like, if you cut it and you resummon it is it going to be cut oh shit so you have to cut it sell it and then people eat it they think that they've eaten it but before it comes out you summon it again and it just reassembles all of the pickle that's a lot of work yeah that actually might not be that good of a business maybe i'd take jumping i'd take jumping yeah this one comes

in from a little bug would you rather have fingers for toes or toes for fingers fingers for toes i don't know yeah i would rather have fingers for toes aren't fingers just kind of like we basically would just be monkeys right yeah pretty much like i value my hands over my feet how about you panda yeah i was thinking how the hell would I wear shoes, but I could be like a monkey. That's kind of cool. Yeah, we could swing around and shit. That'd be awesome.

I would turn my house into a jungle gym. I would just swing around. That'd be sick. Dude, that'd actually be pretty sick. You could be like a special operative. You think the CIA would contact me? I would just be like a special operative you think the cia would contact me i would just be like their monkey man absolutely that'd be awesome uh this one's from globs would you rather have a cut on your tongue for the rest of your life or a hangnail for the rest of your

life oh god both of those suck the hangnail is really annoying because i think if i have a hangnail i like have to rip it off yeah like it's you know it's just like such a but the tongue cut would hurt i actually can't i don't that's so tough dude it's weird because it's a it's a different kind of tough because the hangnail is annoying but that's that's it it's just annoying like it doesn't hurt but the tongue part hurts. I mean, it's also annoying. Maybe the hangnail, and I just try to get used to it. Where is it? Can I pick?

Can I cut off my finger? I think if you cut off your finger, then you get a hangnail somewhere else. If I can pick where the hangnail is, and I put it on one of my toes toes I think that's the best option or maybe it's random so you have like a 50-50 chance that it could be on a toe or a finger and I would just hope for it to be on a toe

it seems to me like it might be random I just really hope it's on a toe because I think I could ignore that more than a finger plus it'd be so gross like people would just see your fucking hangnail all the time if it was on your finger what is a hangnail? oh I'm not misinterpreting what a hangnail all the time it feels on your finger what is a hangnail oh i'm not misinterpreting what a hangnail is right no i i just have not i guess i have not known what

a hangnail is i have oh wait that's a hangnail i would take the hangnail oh wait i have hangnails all the time i thought a hangnail was like your nail is partially off and it's just not all the way cut off that's not what it's actually it's just the things on the sides of the nail i guess so yeah like i have one right now same no okay i was thinking like when it gets all infected and yellow and it's all in pain and shit oh oh that would suck that changes things i think i would still pick that though i mean you could manage it with like medication and stuff the tongue is just so fucking annoying it would make eating and drinking suck every time i would do the hangnail still yeah i'd probably do yeah i'll do the hangnail uh this one comes in from

oh okay this is not a would you rather question this one comes in from Covey would you rather spend Covey Covey Covey would you rather spend a day as Mika or have to live in Canada for a year I'd spend a day as Mika

that would be interesting I wouldn't want a fucking whole year up there holy shit i'd die canada that's fair that's that's understandable but i mean a day in the life of you would be kind of interesting do i do i also get to like like do actions as if i'm you like like that basically i just jump into your body for a day. Theoretically, you could totally fuck up my life. I wouldn't fuck it up, but I might do a little trolling.

I might move your sock drawer. So you wake up the next day and you're like, what the fuck? Where are my socks? I don't know. I'd get you on a deserted island randomly in the middle of nowhere. And then once we transfer bodies, you'd be like,

what the fuck? Where am I? That's horrible. That's like the worst thing you could do. It's trolling. Yeah, I would jump into the ocean and then transfer back and you'd wake up drowning. Drowning.

You'd be at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. We do a little trolling. We do a little trolling. We do a little trolling. I would handcuff my legs and feet and I would put a bag over my head and I would transport myself to the middle of the desert. And then you'd wake up in the middle of the desert completely tied up. Damn. And next to you would be an alarm clock that never stops.

But you can't turn it off because you're all tied up. Understandable. No, I'd probably just like, I don't know, like maybe draw like a dick on like the back of one of your shirts. I'd get you a tattoo. Oh, a dick tattoo on your forehead. Dude. I'm glad this isn't a real thing that can happen. Let's do it.

This one comes in from YNTax. Would you rather fight a chimpanzee with both arms behind your back or step on a cockroach that is on the verge of dying? Cock your back or step on a cockroach that is on the verge of dying? Cockroach. Step on a cockroach that is on the verge of dying. What the fuck? The first option is so much worse. That's probably the most lopsided one we've had.

I feel like stepping on a cockroach, I mean, you're doing it a favor. It's a little gross, but I mean. Yeah, you are doing it a favor. Not really even? Like, are you wearing, can you wear shoes i i'm i i don't know i guess if you can wear shoes this is literally not even a negative this is like a this is like fun well i think the the elephant in the room is like chimpanzees will murder you dude yes and your arms are tied behind your back there's no way i'm surviving that you're just

getting mauled the first option is getting mauled and the second option is stepping on a bug you're fucking kidding me get mauled or step on a bug yeah i'll step on a bug damn all right uh uh would you rather hit the gritty uncontrollably at random or hit the nene uncontrollably at random? Can I get an explanation for what the gritty is again? Is that the touchdown dance that Justin Jefferson does? Okay, I like that one more.

Yeah, me too. I would do the gritty as well. Yeah. Okay, this one comes in from coin would you rather have 100 appear in your pocket every time you put a finger in your butt for six seconds at a time or one time only take 500k tax-free up front finger butt money is not taxed can be anybody's finger must be in for six seconds taken out reinserted okay hold on what what do i get for putting the finger in again 100 maybe that one i do the other one i'm gonna

do some math what's the other one 250k 100 500 000 dude i think you could make more i mean you just have to uh put put it in your butt. Yeah, actually, you'll probably get used to it. What? You would have to put it in for 5,000 times. 5,000? Oh, okay, 500. Yeah, you're right. That's still not that bad.

I think I would just be sitting there all day just putting my finger in my butt. I would do that for like a year, and I would just be sad. I mean, dude, would just be sad I would just stop doing everything I'd quit everything I would literally throw my computer out of my fucking window and I would just sit in my living room fingering my ass

for like a year and I would be fucking sad can I cut off someone's finger and just leave it in my butt I do that well you have to reinsert it. You have to put it in for six seconds, take it out. You guys would never hear from me again. I would be fingering my ass all day.

You would never hear from me again. Can you imagine? You're just like, okay, honey, time to go to work. See you later. Have a good day. You just lock yourself in a room. Fingering at your ass. Do you have to stick your whole finger in?

I think so. I think that's fair. Yeah. I would take the 500k. Really? Yeah. You could literally make like millions with the fingering.

How long would that take though? Can we get a math on how long that would take no it's not six seconds per right yeah but it's it's the it's the time commitment it's like it's i don't need i get to finger my ass and make money i don't need that much money you guys are just here to put in fingers in your ass that's what it is listen that's what it is i i would just rather take the 500 i mean not that i would know but i imagine sticking your finger in your ass doesn't feel that good what it's the male g spot bro that shit feels great i think uh six seconds you get a hundred dollars in in in a minute you could

make what is that a thousand dollars a minute wait really okay no six hundred dollars a minute six hundred dollars a minute yeah you know what fuck it i do it you just get used to it you just would you doesn't have to be my finger can be someone else's finger it can be but why would you so if i did it if i if i fingered my ass for an hour straight every day that's thirty six thousand dollars a day oh yeah fuck i'm doing that if i did that for a year hold on if i did that for a year that is 13 million dollars so if i just finger my ass for an hour a day for a whole year i have 13 million dollars i guess you could do a lot with uh you could do a lot with that like you could donate to a lot of charities. It's not like you need to keep the money.

I'm figuring my ass. I'll finger my ass, bro. You would just get used to it. You really would. It might feel weird at the beginning. It's like with anything. Once you do it enough, you'll get desensitized. You won't be sanitized, though.

You will forever smell like shit, though. You could clean your ass. I feel like your finger would always just smell like bubble. You can also clean your finger. Yeah, but if you stick it in like a million times, there's no way, like, no matter how much you wash it, it won't smell like butt. Well, if you enjoy our conversations about fingering our assholes you can get more of that in fact double that uh 60 minutes of podcast greatness every week to your doorstep to your computer plus a huge backlog of it over at patreon.com sleep deprived five dollars a month

gets you all that plus a minecraft server a discord server uncensored gaming videos where you could maybe see a picture of somebody fingering their ass and more so patreon.com slash suit deprived head on over there baba booey double it and give it to the next person baba booey