Sleep Deprived Podcast - You Have No Free Will - SDP #111

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

the boys talk about airplanes for 31 minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Sleep Deprived Peas in a Pod podcast. Episode 111. 1-1-1. Ooh, multiply that by 6. Why would we do that? Then minus it by 4. 662? And then multiply it by 5.

Okay, hold on, that's going to take a second. Yeah, I checked that. 3,310 yeah i think i hope my mental math is good oh here would you guys would you guys let would you guys be a slave for someone's homework what for a certain amount well i guess for money, would you do people's homework? It depends on how much. So, if I have, like, several assignments to do, will five bucks cut it? No! Absolutely not.

Unless I really cared about you. What? So you don't really care about me? I would do that for, like, a friend in need. Like, I guess if you specifically really needed it. Yeah, I really need like like i guess if you really like you specifically really needed it yeah i really need it man i don't trust you i don't believe you what's your homework anyways panda yeah what's the home uh advanced uh calculus i think i could

do it but see the problem is i haven't done it in so long that it would just be kind of annoying like i'd have to like like it might take an hour just to remember how to do it yeah panda what i can offer you is you can i'll uh you can pay me and i'll ask chat gbt to do it that's it's actually a good idea that's what you should do scam people i mean honestly chat gbt is probably probably a huge tool for people right now in college. Are they checking essays for ChatGPT in high school? I know in college they do check now. See, like you could, but there's a lot of ways that you could really get at it. Like in my opinion, like this would have changed my life because I'm a huge cheater on homework.

I would fucking love to like basically write the whole essay, but then just go in and change some of the words. Like if you do that, like add your own personal flair to a template, I think you could get away with it in a lot of scenarios. Yeah, like it's kind of like when you turn English into French and then French into Chinese and then Chinese into German and then German back to English. They will never know. They will never know you stole it. It might sound really bad at that point but yeah, they would never know they will never know you stole it it might sound really bad at that point but yeah they would never know yeah i feel like at that point like uh you know you're probably writing like uh frankenstein was frankenstein was big dead guy came back from the dead banger rang bass

banger rang bass oh yeah and that's why Mary Shelley wrote Quest for Fire go ahead sorry I'm gonna set you on fire okay I'm sorry

no not for any reason well I do have a reason it's for fun guys uh really messed up we did a very censored gardic phone video so guys we've gained 300 because of that what a way to frame that so like you're saying we scammed them we scammed them yeah unfortunately that's why you need to censor more so we can get more money we've really gone off the rails in the gardic phone videos like i think when we started we would draw like a dick here and there or maybe some blood now it's literally every drawing every drawing has a dick or pump exploding head in it yeah i can't keep more comical things to

work with every video will or every drawing will have you know something horrifically vile in it well how do we spice it up what how do we spice it up like well you can spice it up in other ways for example there's uh cayenne jalapeno that's boring carolina reaper boring you're calling the carolina reaper boring i am a habanero kind of guy i don't think you could handle the carolina reaper dude wow that's like really mean and presumptuous i well it wasn't mean and presumptuous of you to call my idea boring no it was mean but it wasn't presumptuous because it is boring. Ooh! Let's fight.

I don't think it was very mean or presumptuous, man, of me. I think it was presumptuous, but not mean. I don't think it's presumptuous. I think I was mean, and you were presumptuous. I don't think you could eat a Carolina Reaper. Why not? I have before. And you're okay i'm

standing we're okay i mean it was spicy but i have a pretty high spice tolerance so we eat a lot of heat a lot of pepper okay so it looks like the uh the carolina it looks like the Carolina Reaper. The Carolina Reaper. It's like the spiciest pepper. One of the spiciest peppers. It is pretty up there, yeah. My friend would eat this Carolina Reaper jerky all the time. Really? Who? It would be pretty good. I'm not going to say.

My friend George. George? George Tinkin. Tell me about George. I might know George. George Tinkin is Tell me about George. I might know George. George Tinkin is a licensed biologist. He performs botany on railroads. I was going to say something like that.

Yeah, fair enough. I think I know George. Really? Yeah, I think George i could definitely see eating a carolina reaper but you i can't see it you're actually being a jerk i think you should prove it to me right now man i don't have one okay because you can't eat one so you don't keep them stuck i don't like what do you even mean like i could obviously eat it would it be spicy yeah i mean like i i don't i think you would like cry like

a little baby i might tear up a little bit yeah i think you would uh straight up you cry so i don't think i i don't know about like i don't think so on the floor but i would probably maybe tear up like eyes of water like like i don't know there's been moments where you just want to go up to someone and say to them. Right? Mika, surely you agree. Honestly, I can't relate. No. What were you going to say?

Neither can I. Because there's never been a moment where you're like. No, dude. There has absolutely been a moment. You've either had road rage or someone fucked you over so severely. There's definitely been a moment like that. I don't believe that. Same with you, Astro. There's definitely been

a moment. You're right. I think there are some people where it would be funny if they did it. Yeah. It's fine to say that. I think that is fine to say. I don't think you should say it. Really. I think Hitler should say it really i think hitler should have killed himself yeah i mean he's a he's an exception that's what i'm saying

there are exceptions yeah but like as a general rule of thumb i don't think you should be going around like saying that to people yeah i mean i agree yeah panda i don't know i think you could go around to anyone and say it. You could. You could also go up to people and pull down your pants and just shit all over and then get on the ground and roll in it. But it doesn't mean you should. Isn't that beautiful, though?

Sometimes I think about it. If I really wanted to, I could punch a wall for no reason. My hand would hurt. I would break the wall, or maybe not but i wouldn't be that bad for other people i would be like if you really wanted to do that i would advise against it because you hurt yourself but i would support you no no but what i'm saying is like that human spirit of knowing you could do anything even if it's so stupid as like punch someone in the face

for no reason well i don't support that but i think no no i'm not saying i'm not saying you would do it or should do it i'm saying you could and the fact you could is beautiful i guess because we we feel programmed in our day-to-day life like i shouldn't punch this person in the face but you really could if you wanted to for no reason you don't have to do it for any reason at all you could just do it yeah that's true isn't that crazy to think about i mean sure like we have free will yeah like you could punch your screen right now you would like it would destroy it your hand would hurt completely pointless but you could do that and that's insane i could right but like why would i you know? Just to test the will of humanity.

Because who knows, what if you're just code right now? Like right now you're telling yourself, I can't break my monitor. That's a good impression. I think that's a good impression of me. I'm just kidding. I think I probably could break my monitor if I really gave it a good punch. Dude, we should all try it right now. Exactly.

Like, we need to break free from the programming. I think he's right. Like, I feel like a robot. What if we all, like, broke our computers right now? I'd be down to give my monitor a little punch. A punch? Yeah. Okay. Are we all going to do it?

Dude, I'm kind of scared. How hard are you guys going to punch? I'm going to punch, it? I'm kinda scared. How hard are you guys gonna punch? I'm gonna punch like... I might break mine. I'm gonna punch like I'm imagining I'm going through it, you know? So you're gonna break it? Yeah, I'm gonna break my monitor.

Because I think we all have the capability to break it. If we really want to, we could punch it as hard as we possibly could. Yeah, I think we probably could. Are gonna like hold hands and do it together i don't believe that you will yeah i wasn't going to i was just gonna pretend oh my god i was really gonna do it were you i did i really i would genuinely if you guys did it with me i would like you actually would i'm very easily influenceable surprisingly enough i actually never would have thought that so if me and mika said uh

i don't know do do fentanyl you would do it honestly yeah no you would not that's no but not that's that's a biased question because I kind of want a reason to do that anyway. Really? Yeah. Wait, but are you okay, dude? No. I got some stickers today. Okay.

But they're really cute. Tell us about your stickers, man. I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well. I want to know what drugs you want to do. Dreads? Drugs. My mom gave me a hypothetical about dreads. Okay.

She said, she was like, how much money would it take for you to have to wear dreads for like a month? And I said $100,000. Do you think that's reasonable? I think that's a lot of money. You think you'd do it for less? I think that's reasonable. Yeah. No, I think rock it pretty reasonable

see for me like i i feel like i i don't know i i just i feel like it's i just wouldn't but but back to the drugs comment like what drugs you want to do like actually i think um i don't know like realistically maybe not very many, but I think, you know, in an ideal world, maybe a little a little needle. Really? Like heroin? That's so bullshit. I don't believe that. If I was planning on going out. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

That just makes sense. Like the grim conversation nobody wants to have is that if you're going to die, you might as well end it with a bang. Exactly. By being high as fuck. I agree. Feeling as euphoric as possible. What if you have a bad high and that's just how you die? That would be really sad. That would really suck.

I'm really into like Y2K or yeah, Y2K shit recently. Like, uh, like I want to have like every, I want all of my technology to be translucent and I want to put like little gir every, I want all of my technology to be translucent. And I want to put, like, little girly stickers on everything. Is that fucked up? No, I think that's pretty cool.

I wish my phone had, like, a little notch where I could put charms on it. Like, you know, those little. Yeah, dude. There was a movement in 2000, like, in Japan. Everyone had charms, charms like all over their phone dude yeah i have a charm on my um on my key ring because i can't have one on my phone yeah yeah but i have a little thing that i on my my keychain as well dude i forget what that movement was called this shit's so cool though yeah man i uh i also like stickers i have a cable box where i started putting i so far i only have one sticker on my cable box but it just makes it it

just makes it feel better to have a sticker on it i think anything could just become instantly better with a sticker dude can we show my can i send you an image of my bookshelf and we can show it on the screen yeah i have i have a so i have like these bookshelf projects i have two big bookshelves that cover like they have all my nerdy shit in them and i cover them with stickers and i have one of them is fully complete it has stickers from top to bottom on both sides and it's just better it made the furniture better hell yeah like as a kid when you put a piece what do you put a sticker on your nintendo ds and then you look back at it when you were 15 you're like damn that was so cringe like i ruined

the nintendo ds i put a sticker on it but now that i'm in my 20s man i'm like damn no that was actually cool honestly i'm not the biggest fan of putting stickers on things i just gotta say it oh no they're cool no they're cool by themselves but then what if they start peeling and crackling being a residue you're right you're right that's why you get goo gone what's goo gone Well, no, they're cool by themselves, but then what if they start peeling and crackling being up in the residue? You're right. You're right. That's why you get Goo Gone. What's Goo Gone?

Goo Gone, it gets off a little sticker residue, and then you can put a new sticker on there. Oh. Yeah. You could get Goo Gone. But then it feels weird afterwards. No, not really. It's a dick. No, you could remove it with the Goo Gone. That's the purpose of the Goo Gone.

So you're telling me it'll feel completely the same as it was you can remove anything with goo i can remove you with goo gone you can remove goo gone do it right now okay that's gonna take a bit um while he's removing you with goo gone panda um you can just get high quality stickers you know those things aren't gonna go anywhere like you can get vinyl stickers and you can get okay but but what if it looks like what if you okay let's say there's a show you love right now like uh i don't know well what's like what's a show that you would regret liking big mouth loud mouth whatever oh that's really you get that you slap that on the back of your nintendo switch so whenever you hold it people can see you have a big mouth sticker on the back of your Nintendo Switch. So whenever you hold it, people can see you have a Big Mouth sticker on the back of your Switch.

And it's high quality. And then what? You try to peel it off? No, no, no. If you want to take off the Big Mouth sticker, you can use Goo Gone. And you have to trust that you're going to have good taste about it. Like, for example, I could have put an over-the-garden Garden Wall sticker on my Nintendo DS when it first came out, and I would not have changed my opinion on that at all. Because that is still a banger show.

Wait, what show? Over the Garden Wall. I've never heard of that. Wait, wait, what if it became problematic? Then what? Then I would use Goo Gone, but I can't speak to Over the Garden Wall. Exactly, there you go! That's what I'm saying, stickers cannot be permanent. Yeah, but you can remove them there you go but that's what i'm saying sneakers cannot be permanent

yeah but you can remove them with the goo gone yeah like that's the whole point of the way i haven't prepared now i'm gonna start scrubbing it on you all right but see this is i think this is a big psyop i love this word because you are shilling on you're shilling back who gone so hard right now it's insane You sound so internet sometimes You're shilling Gugan bro This is a psyop You're shilling Gugan You're shilling Gungan

Psyop I think stickers could make anything better You know like you're having a bad day Okay not anything No I do think it could be anything You know having a bad day You slap one onto your forehead You uh having a bad day okay not anything no i i do think it could be anything you don't have a bad day you slap one onto your forehead you uh sure no bad example on it you can slap it on some dog shit

it wouldn't make it better all right how about this this is another con of stickers what if you accidentally misplace it or like it's angled, which everyone does because no one's a perfect robot. No. It's slightly off angle and then we have to take the whole thing off. It's already like lots of it's stickiness. It has dirt and hair on it. Let me ask you a question, Panda. Let me ask you a question, Panda.

Does life always go according to plan? No, but it should. But so that's a question, Panda. Does life always go according to plan? No, but it should. But so that's the thing, Panda. It should, but it doesn't. And that's a lesson that you need to learn. And you can practice that through stickers, you know? I think if your sticker becomes uncentered and tilted in the wrong way, that was the plan the whole time, man.

Exactly. What about Legos? What about Legos? What about Legos what about legos what about them with precise stickers you have to make it perfect and if it looks off it looks terrible it looks that's just that's just the way she goes you know what can i say that's not the way she goes he's kind of right it is annoying but but that's why you just got to be careful you know that's just part of life man sometimes life doesn't go how you want it to go.

Sometimes life doesn't go how you expect. And you know what? That's just something you have to live with and own up to and make the best out of a situation. I feel like that's a defeated mentality. I cannot allow myself to think it's over. But Panda, it's not a defeatist mentality if you are content with the fact

that something has not yeah honestly in a way you are have been defeated more by letting the emotions get to you yeah no because you learn from it and that way you make sure it never happens again therefore you truly win it's like you lost the battle but you won the war but you can you already thought it wasn't going to happen and then it did so yeah and i don't think you learned anything yeah and you can keep like you can always learn even if things don't go your way, but if you accept it doesn't go your way, then it's like you're not stressing about it, you're just chilling, you know?

I'm just imagining Mika and I as these old, wise sages. We have these long white beards, and Pan is down there, and he's just pissed off. Oh, this little baby with like a bib yeah just accept life for how it is little panda oh god you're not i must strive for better panda life is a life is a raging river and you cannot win against the current. Life is a raging boner. Dude, honestly, see, I don't believe that.

I'm not some Magikarp floating down a stream or a waterfall. I'm a fucking Gyarados. I'm a legendary. I'm a mega evolution. I cannot allow to flow with the currents. I make my own current. If you're a Gyarados, then everybody else can be a Gyarados too.

That's not true! You everyone that's not true well what okay but how about this you think you're so good what happens when the shiny gyarados comes down the river damn you will limit you you catch this is why it's pointless this is why it's no you're a gyarados you're not a pokemon trainer you just admitted that yourself this is why you can't compare yourself to others man yeah you can't compare yourself to others dude that's everyone's great in their own way well yeah i think no one is special but everyone is greater no no no i think it's true mika okay so you're gonna tell me the guy walking down the street with his dog is better than mlk tell me that oh maybe in some ways. In some ways. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I'm saying I think MLK achieved greatness

and was a remarkable human being. Way more than anyone else that is walking down a street. Yeah, but maybe the guy walking his dog is better at, I don't know, Overwatch. You know? I'm better at Overwatch than Martin Luther King Jr.

Yeah, you could probably... If you had a 1v1, you'd probably beat him. Yeah, that's fucking right. At least there's that. Here's what I'm going to say. No one is special, but at the same time, everyone is the main character of their own life. But some people are more main character than others.

I like to be a side character, honestly. Is that okay sure i mean that's your choice man you could flip-flop like some that's what i always thought i always had this theory like what if god every day picks one person to embody to be the main character like today i'm gonna be this guy going to having a car crash but surviving that's like the one day he embodied that person that's why i felt weird today yeah so he just jumps through bodies yeah i could see that happening honestly i could see people taking turns you know with like the 15 minutes of spotlight thing that no that's too many minutes man one minute he'd probably give you like a second of it yeah there's a lot of people

to go around man there's a lot of spotlight to share and he'd probably fuck you like a second of it. Yeah, there's a lot of people to go around, man. There's a lot of spotlight to share. And he'd probably fuck with you too. He'd give you like a bad power. Yeah, man. You heard what... You hear about what God did to the... God did? Didn't he ask someone to like sacrifice their child for him?

Like their baby? He does a lot of fucked up shit, man. Yeah, man. Guys, this is so unholy. Please stop. Well, Panda, we started off the episode by multiplying 1, 1, 1 by 6. Yeah, but Panda did subtract 4 and then multiply by 5, to be fair. So it was a very...

The state didn't last very long what it what did we end up at three three ten yeah something like that seven seven seven a little piece of heaven you're five five five then i'm six six six dude uh i was browsing tiktok the other day okay and uh this guy came on my feed, and he was like... He came on your feet? No. On your feet? Oh, my God.

He came on your feet, Mika? Okay. I can't even laugh. He's going to cut it out anyway, so just continue. This guy came up. This guy appeared on my... Dude! This guy appeared on my tiktok okay and uh anyways he started like waving a crystal in front of me crystal map no dude he started waving a crystal and he was like

i'm gonna heal you of your negative energy okay and i didn't watch the whole thing because the video was like three minutes long that's way too long for a tiktok yeah at one point this is why this is relevant he put the numbers five five five five five on screen oh and i was wondering if either of you knew why that was significant zip code yeah he just posted his ip like a dumbass yeah just dock somebody dude and then he started asking like the archangel michael to like come down and bless me did you feel good after that not really did you feel worse no okay well that's good then i guess archangel michael's just kind of a okay guy doesn't really make you feel any sort of way well i thought it was weird that he

asked him to bless me because i hadn't even sneezed um so panda's feet are now completely gone from the goo gone i'm gonna work my way up the legs but like panda are you okay with this because like i'm gonna keep going yeah you know i did uh i did have giant feet so this is okay, you know, I did have giant feet, so this is okay. And you know what they say about giant feet? Big heart. Well, not for long.

Well, it probably would make sense. If they do say big feet makes you have a big dick, that means you probably have a big overall body, so you probably do have a big heart. Yeah. heart yeah and anatomically speaking which of us has the biggest heart i thought you were gonna say dick i really did for a second no physically which of us has like the biggest anatomically sized heart i guess schlatt he has the biggest body out of us three you word that's not true i have the biggest heart because i love everyone i you know based on the things that you say on the pod i i just see a lack of heart damn dude no no he's completely right i was just i was just lying right then because i have such a tiny

heart he like frequently says he wants to kill people see like the thing is like everyone thinks it's a joke everyone thinks haha panna it's very funny but what if i'm not joking what if i'm seriously a psychopath and this is how i go about it um i'm uncomfortable astro can you hurry up with the goo gun i'm i'm to his knees now but it like it might go into the patreon episode gotcha dude uh you know what i saw if i was so sick the other day what a hospital full of patients no i saw this guy who uh i don't even know what i'm are you just making shit up on the pod you would never do that no i would you would never lie and make shit up right no i would never okay because i was on a walk yesterday then i saw

optimus prime can you believe that dude what was he doing on a walk well he was like trying to like flirt with the other cars but i think he got embarrassed because he realized that they weren't also transformers like he was trying to talk to his cars, but they weren't talking to him back. I felt pretty bad for him. Do you think optimist prime trying to talk to cars is like the equivalent of us going back in time and talking to, talking to like the first vertebrae?

No, I think it's like us trying to talk to a doll. Mika, I think it's goofy trying to talk to Pluto. Whoa, damn. That's weird. Do we, we've talked to this before. What is goofy? Mika, I think it's Goofy trying to talk to Pluto. Whoa. Damn. That's wild.

We've talked about this before. What is Goofy? Is he a cow or a dog? Have we talked about this? Maybe. A cow? Yeah. Doesn't he have udders?

Bro, he does not have udders. What kind of fan art have you been watching? Dude, I remember in a video, I was like i was like goofy is a dog or cow or something and everyone was like no he's effing not but he fucking is one of them he's not a cow maybe we could we could just check right now okay how about that okay but like that's just that if he's a cow like it's over he is a tall anthropomorphic dog that doesn't make sense though why is pluto stupid what why why is pluto not the advanced upright dog like like goofy actually that's a good point like why is why are there smart dogs and then why is there pluto i ask the same about humans all Like, why is why are there smart dogs? And then why is there Pluto?

It's the same about humans all the time. Yeah. Like, why are there gorillas and why are there humans? I think it's like, isn't it? It's just like that. Yeah. Goofy just evolved. Yeah.

Which kind of makes me wonder, like, how did the Transformers evolve out of cars? It probably started as like a little calculator and then it evolved into like a microwave and then a car that's how inventions work right yeah i could see that but but like uh i don't know it just feels like such a long scale of time to go from a calculator to like a transformer yeah pokemon's crazy yeah i'm missing no missing no what i'm saying no what well join us on the patreon segment where we're gonna talk about all the really fun what what do you mean no it's 30 why do you always do this let me get to 30 minutes and i do this big way they're like like, no. Because the pod, you know, it's got to be like around 30 minutes after the cuts and stuff, you know?

What? Since when? That's just how it goes, man. I just want to talk about evolution now. Okay. Yeah. Let's talk about evolution. Over on the Patreon section.

That was like one minute later or not you are actually you are actually evil that was your most evil act mika you might have the small start okay let's talk you let's talk about evolution here for with everyone panda the floor is yours take it away floor the fluoride's mine. Fluoride's always mine. I was given fluoride as a baby. Now I can't menstruate. I thought it just makes your teeth strong. No, no, no, no.

You become stupid. But it gives you a big dick, right? Oh, yeah. That's fine. Honestly, I wouldn't know. Not that I don't have one. I just don't know if it was the fluoride or just me on my own.

What do you mean, you on your own? You know, like you trained it? No, I don't know if the fluoride gave me the super willy or if it was just myself. Is that what you call your dick? The super willy? Asher, what myself is that what you call your dick super willy i sure what do you call your wiener i don't i don't have a name for it i don't i certainly don't call it super willy

super willy what about you mika i don't think i have a name for that i call it shamu and then when it pops out it goes That's pretty good Yeah What about Lil Buddy? No that's just sad How's that sad? That's just like No one would take it seriously No no no

It's different when you're at a urinal Where you're like come on Lil Buddy No that's really I would hate that If I was peeing and someone to my right was like come on little buddy i would come on little buddy i would quicken my urination i feel like by the urine is probably the worst place you could talk just in general yeah yeah if anyone talks to you in the bathroom they're a psychopath i want to ask about that have you guys used urinals do you ever ask the person next to you? Have you ever?

I've never used a urinal. Ever? I always use my pants. Okay. What about a person next to the stall, then, when you're taking a shit? Nope, I've never used that. You are so full of it, dude. I'm full of shit, yeah.

It's because I shit in my pants. Wow. you are so full of it dude i'm full of shit yeah that's because i shit in my pants wow and on that note follow us over to the patreon section of the podcast discord server you get a minecraft server you get two exclusive shows um uh and a girlfriend yep you get laid baba booey baba booey