SmartLess - "Allison Janney"

Episode Date: September 26, 2022

Figure skating champ, Allison Janney rolls between takes on your favey poddy. We learn some hand-to-hand combat, how to smoke around a bird, and Jason teaches us to cry with crystals. It’s an all new SmartLess, viel spass!Please support us by supporting our sponsors!Fanduel Disclaimer: 21+ in select states. First online real money wager only. Refund issued as nonwithdrawable free bets that expires in 14 days. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit FanDuel.com/RG (CO, IA, MI, NJ, PA, IL, VA), 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text NEXTSTEP to 53342 (AZ), 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-9-WITH-IT (IN), 1-800-522-4700 or visit ksgamblinghelp.com (KS), 1-877-770-STOP (LA), 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY), TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), 1-800-522-4700 (WY), or visit www.1800gambler.net (WV).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm going to pass it to one of my co anchors there and we have any news, Jason. Today there's a single alert on the 405. You're going to want to go ahead and take surface streets. Try some pulpit or the canyons back out to sports

with Sean. Hey, your sports Sean. Does anybody want to guess my middle name? What are you doing, dude? You're supposed to be the sports guy. Sorry. You know, when someone throws you the ball, you don't drop it. Well, I could talk

about traffic. I don't know about sports. Well, that's the joke, dingy. Dallas, Dallas Cowboys and the Bears are playing this Saturday. Okay, I'm going to pass it to you. Well, we're just talking about how Sean is the problem. We

never have this issue when your guest or my guest. It's just we always start right on the line. You know, it's not just me. It's not me. It's not me. I'm always on time. No, but it's your vibe. Yeah, vibe for sure. Yeah, things are

just disorganized in your life. You know, no, and it's they're not like his answer is just, no, no, they're not. But wait, I want to say about where we're all going tomorrow. We're all going together. Yeah, I heard we're going to we're going to

be in a place where you can be a part of the sneaky culture. You're sneaky culture. I was so shocked because it's I'm a day of life and I texted well. I was like, I think I already know the answer. But just, you know, we're all going. I can't

imagine you want to go. And he's like, Oh my God, I'm so excited to go. I was like really awesome. So listen to what this is is Hollywood Bowl out here in La La Land is this big place where the outdoor or the or the orchestra is La La Land. Just a

couple of years ago, they played each summer. The LA Philharmonic plays the Hollywood Bowl and then the winter they go inside. But during the summer, they played Hollywood Bowl and then they run three movies each summer or three or four and

they drop a big screen down and it's usually some big, huge cinematic film that's got a big orchestral score and they drop the music out and the symphony plays the music while they still keep the music or the dialogue in the sound effects.

And I'm like, Oh my God. I mean, I'm sorry, listener. I will send each of you your minute, your minute hour. But what I'm trying to sometimes it should be the listener should know that sometimes when we're in a social setting and you know what

I mean, I'll look over Jason. I'll see him talking to somebody, especially somebody who's new to our circle. And I'll see him talking about what they do. And I'll be like, This person is really struggling, but they're also a big Ozark fan. So

I'm excited. I mean, we fuck me. This guy gets to the fucking point. So I'm excited. But Jason, Jason, I should say this. Also, I'm glad that Jason's driving because I'm going up to the Jason. I'm driving with them. I'm their

kid. You're glad I'm driving. Why are you going out tomorrow night? You're just going to get all banged up. No, just so that you and I can because I don't want to deal with parking at the bowl. Like that was one of my big thoughts. Well, Sean was

nice enough. Now, Listener, you know, there was parking with it was another step that I didn't think you had, but I'm excited to go. By the way, the other thing I forgot to tell Well, Jason was my massage in the Bahamas. I can't believe I

haven't told you about the massage in the Bahamas. To what? Who me or Will? Oh, sorry. Massage in the Bahamas. Okay, sorry. Okay. Yeah, you said that a little quick. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm almost like you. I'm not going to

say. No, but I've never had this happen in my entire life Okay, yeah, no, so so we splurge were like, you know, hey, let's get hey, let's get misogynist So I had this woman who was very very strong a lot stronger than I am and she Wasn't doing anything crazy or questionable, but she until she she was you know, I was on my I flipped over on my back And she's doing my leg and just rubbing right up against my penis in my balls Well, let's let's let's be a little bit more specific here. She wasn't rubbing up against she the back of her hand was on him

Yeah, gave me some some some brushbys, right? She she gave me brushbys, but literally like no She didn't give a shit about anything. She's just rubbing right next to it over and over again And it's growing a little bit. Hmm. And so I thought well, I don't want to give her the wrong idea But anyway, it's like it was almost like medical like she didn't care. I'm gay Yeah, I think she knew that and that's why she was giving you the drive-bys Yeah, I didn't get any of that and she had just worked on my wife So she knew that maybe the you know, she's she ought to mind it with her with with you She didn't she didn't have to worry about safe zone. Yeah, she thought there's no way this guy's gonna be

offended or aroused or anything like that and then sure enough here comes your But if you're rubbing up against it wouldn't you be like maybe I should switch my hands around maybe she's dead Oh, maybe the back of her hands are done. How about you not get an erection? Okay? I know I couldn't I know I Started just Scotty know that that you were aroused by this. He was in them. He was right next to me. It was a couple thing with another woman doing Okay, okay, here's what here's here's I'm glad you brought this up because I want to bring this up as you can imagine I take issue. I feel like every week's just become me with my grievances, but we are thinking about a new title the couple The couples massage nobody wants that That's the worst. Well, no, I didn't that's just somebody hearing me because this is what I do

But sometimes when I'm getting massage, I'll be like You know I catch myself. What was that? What was that? What sound was that? What do that mean? Like like falling asleep at like to the point where I'm like, oh, yeah I do that too. You know, and then you're slobbering and stuff. Who wants to do that next to somebody else? I think the couples massage is way overrated and then we offer couples massage. That's a deterrent It's a deterrent especially when you're laying next to me and I I'm I like to give a lot of feedback Because I feel bad that they don't know whether they're doing good or not and so I'm I do a lot of I can't imagine Yeah

Yeah, you do not you don't know you don't. Oh That's crazy a lot of stuff like that and my whoever I'm we're partnered with often times. It's my wife They get upset because I'm disturbing their Often times. Oh, that's got it. I do a lot of those. Oh, that's got this is a great transition I do a lot of I do it like real cutesy though. Oh, look what you're doing Look what you're look what you did good for you. Are you generous? Okay, here we go our guest today is a very close friend of mine and also good friends of all of ours actually She's an extremely gifted actress having won an Oscar fairly recently. What but I swear her voice is almost as busy as she is

It's everywhere. You hear it in duck tails finding Nemo the Adams family minions over the hedge so many documentaries medical commercials Her voice is fantastic. Also turns out. She was actually a very serious figure skater in real life I can't wait to ask about that the first few years of her career was spent with roles in tiny plays and she was ready to quit numerous times We've all been there until Aaron Sorkin I've got her in one of those tiny plays. I've got an audition for a tiny little show called the West Wing Please welcome the absolute best in the world ever. It's Allison in the world Listener. Oh my god. I was so nervous. I was gonna have to look at nothing listener Great like what do you call that kind of hat?

She's got a hat with a big feather on a pillbox hat with an ostrich feather Probably not a real ostrich feather. So everybody calm down It's not a real ostrich feather and a veil and there's a netting in front of your face. What's that called some net? It's it's a veil. Okay, it's a veil with dots on it. So it looks like I have big black acne But I don't know what like moles like moles like big moles beauty marks or I'm just gonna pull these down for a second to pull up my veil and put these back on I just wanted for effect you to see what I just came from to come to talk to you three handsome You just came from this place. All right. Go ahead. Take it. I can't hear what you're saying. So go ahead and say something nasty

Oh my god, look at you Look at you. Okay. Why do you look at this stunning? Okay. Well, where did you just come from? Awake? You well very good. Yeah Funeral scene and I'm doing that you had Kristen Wiig on on the program not too long ago. Yeah, that show we're doing for Apple It's an Apple series as yet Tie it's an untitled project and we're doing a funeral scene today and This is a 1968 Palm Beach

This is what a lady looks like at a funeral in 1960. Do you have to you? Does your character have to cry at this wake or were you happy about the death? Okay, so That's why I chose to wear these so you don't have to cry Dark sunglasses actors are lazy guys. We're all very very lazy people. It's hard I'm in a wool dress. It's outside. It's hot It's hard. Are you here? Are you in, California? I am in, California I'm in right now in a base camp with all the trailers in a parking lot. Oh, you're in the trailer. I'm in my trailer Yeah, look at that pop out. She's got a nice one there near that. It's is a very nice trailer

It's the nicest trailer I've ever had I usually get I think when I did your movie Jason I was in a honey wagon. Wow and cut that out a second easy to cut that out This is a shot that's well worth taking and let's let's see a honey wagon is smaller than a regular Didn't you tell me that you were to you took a pee wash your feet and brush your teeth all at the same time, right? Isn't that how small it was? Hey, so now are you one of those actors? Have you ever had them blow the camphor into your eyes so that you can get some Tears going yeah, I you know what after a certain amount and you know I did a movie with Tony Collette called the way way back and she

She can bring the emotion like nobody's business and she had to do it over and over again at a certain point. She was like Bring it in. I can't do it anymore. And I was like, thank God I was so glad to see someone I respected so much do it because you should be able to Listen to this little trick here, Tracy is a tube filled with like menthol crystals in it And and the makeup artist will blow through one end and ruining show business for a lot of people right it irritates your eyes So much that you start to cry and then they go, okay quick roll it and you're Tell them how this sausage is made. Are you crazy? I once made the mistake of having them do that when I had my contacts in and a crystal got under with my contact

And I I mean literally the director was like, please you have you can't be that emotional Jason have you ever done it? Like have you ever gone on set and actually blown people? Yeah. Well, what do you mean? Oh wait, I'm just trying to get a sound bite. I'm trying to get a sound bite out of you. I'm trying to get a gotcha sound bite out of you Wait Alice. Okay. So wait, I did not know a couple things about you and I'm knowing you for 75 years I didn't know you really were a figure skater. I had no idea. I can't believe you didn't know that's like Who's how's you gonna know that? It's like it's never come up. It probably came up with a junket for itanya, right? Which we met Jason and I met at the junket for itanya. I mean not itanya

Juno that's where I first met you and okay and fell in love with you and Sean I fell in love with just all throughout our emerging career is doing art during you know West Wing and Will and Grace right and will do you remember where we met? When we when we fell in love Uh, yes, vamp. Wait, wait, where did we meet? He doesn't remember. I'm very trying really Jesus Christ, I only met you once and I'll never forget it. Yeah. Oh show them a picture of your child You're not gonna remember it's okay, and it may not have been you I might have been wrong It might have been it might have been it might have been Patrick Wilson

Oh, is that who you get? Do you ever remember you you've been to the Soho house in New York City, right? Sure. Yeah Well, it was a long time ago, and I met you there at the the bar at the Soho house I was there for my birthday, and you just happened to be there, and I met you so it's about 20 years Oh, 25 years ago. Was he was he probably 20 years 25, but like at least well actually 25 30 15 I don't know but I Interrupted because we're talking about skating and I did I know I was sick of talking about it No, I know I'm it's okay. I don't mind talking about because I really I did want to go to the Olympics

That was my my dream as a young girl. I was a really I was a great athlete in in school I played field hockey lacrosse ice hockey everything. I'm just I'm very athletic and of and I decided to oh I know why because my father was in commercial real estate in date in Ohio and Kentucky and Cincinnati and he owned a A you know building that housed of an ice rink So I got you know my little lifetime membership card and got free ice time and all of a sudden I just became infatuated with with skating. It was literally

To it's the only time I've ever been when you're so excited I was so excited to put my skates on it could hardly get them on fast enough to get out on the Really and were you I bet you were great. I was very graceful, but I'm very very Tall so you're ice skating figure skating is an acrobatic sport. Yeah, you can't you know I can't get this six foot frame three times around Triple, you know, I should have been an ice dancer. That's what I should have been But something happened when you were a teenager that made you stop. I heard or something. Oh We don't talk about it. I mean when I almost died

That is what you're great. You're the fuck. I'm sorry When we talked to her about some of her relationship failures I didn't know that and then we'll roll into politics and religion. Can I talk to you for a second? What is that? What about the outfits Allison tell us about your favorite? Answer this part first what I just say it's a story that anyone who knows me well knows the story So I'm surprised well two of you don't know this but I I went through a play glass window when I was 17 And I like lost three quarters of my blood. I almost died and it was pretty Brick and traumatic. How did you get through that? Why did you get go through a window? Did you not see it? I?

Jason goes for fun. No, but I mean it's those horrible, you know At a party when someone goes walking right into one and usually they bounce off of it But you went through it. I did what I you know, the the awful part is there was a game going on with And and the girls the couples and the girls had balloons tied around their ankles and and the object was to pop Everybody's balloon so you were the only couple left with your balloon unpopped Yeah, and I was cheating because I had a strapless long gown on and I and I tried the balloon up around my knee So no one could get pop my balloon. I mean, I've been a cheater. I'm such a cheater Well, it takes a lot to admit that but so wait, how does it send you through a play glass window though?

Well, then one someone who was trying to pop my balloon kept Furiously trying to step on my balloon instead stepped on my dress and it ripped and fell off And I was there for the party with parents and kids and everybody was there And I just graduated from high school and and my dress was falling off I didn't have any bra and it was strapless dress and I'm a very small-chested woman And so I held the dress up and I ran to get inside and there was a porch with, you know Some doors open some clothes and I I hit it and then the glass fell on top of me on my leg And I the band was playing right next to me and I was I was like keep playing keep playing don't don't play

I was so embarrassed and then I turned around and I I said, oh my god I saw blood all over my my finger and on my neck and everywhere and I said I'm supposed to now I'm supposed to scream and then I am gonna faint and then I'm gonna die And that's what as my actors had was like I'm these are the things I'm supposed to do right now I'm supposed to scream right and then You know it was like a Fellini movie or something being on the ground and seeing all these people come with cocktails and cigarettes Leaning over me looking to see what was going on with my blood and people it was crazy Oh my god, so you couldn't skate anymore. No, but my skating, but you know, it was it was it was good

I was not meant to be a figure skater At all, but I well, what about that injury wrecked your skating career? Well, I lost a artery my cut tendon in my lower right leg and my foot doesn't work so well anymore Oh, no, you couldn't you couldn't walk that off This is why we hired well our net it was real it was cheap and he he keeps it light and We will be right back. All right back to the show Wait one time. I was my sister was out here. Okay, it never goes well when such with one time my sister Okay, go ahead man

One time I was with my sister to stop light got it in In Century City and we're watching this girl She must have been 14 15 years old rollerblade what and she was it was on a long hill And she couldn't stop herself and you know when you want to see something and she ran she rollerbladed right into a movie poster And the glass complete at a bus stop and the glass completely shattered What was the movie do you remember? No, I don't remember it would be better if I had the movie ready, but I think it was like, you know chipmunks something about the Shattered glass and she ran over there to help her and she was like that you didn't my sister couldn't stop laughing

I was like, oh my god, this boy. She turned to sit tell the band to keep playing No, she ended up being totally does that when they have this their first instinct is to tell the band might my sister My sister was laughing only because she knew she was totally fine because my sister was a cop and she was like Oh, the girl's gonna be totally fine. She was it looked way Tracy was a cop. Yeah, she's a cop. Yeah, we learned that. We learned that very late. Well, we were on stage for that We learned that when she hogtied Bateman in the back of a man You know, you know Allison I know I I don't want to I I did have a little figure skating in my time as well

Oh, here we come. I did I do well. I did I did it as part of the cinema. I did a I did a film I made a oh, yeah, figure skating picture called Blades of Glory. Yeah, he did all of his own skating and I didn't do all my own skating I didn't do all my own skating but of the four made of of me and Feral and Amy and John heater. I did the most of my own skating. Wait, did you know? Did you learn to skate just for that movie? Okay, you play hockey, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, at a very high level go ahead Golly, so it wasn't a weird that all that figure skating I mean

I can't be the first person to say this and then you win an Oscar for a movie about skating. I mean, it's just I know it's crazy Allison It's nutty. It's just nutty. I couldn't believe it And I actually got my skates back out and got on the ice and I thought that my character might They might put in a little scene where she skated and so you saw that, you know She wanted her daughter to succeed succeed where she had failed and then that part was so great Did you did you come up with the bird and the oxygen tank or was which one was because I love I'm obsessed with that role I tell you I I've never smoked so many cigarettes in my my life and and

Every scene I kept saying maybe this scene she doesn't smoke and Craig Gillespie the director was like no you're smoking You're smoking in every scene and then we get to that final scene with the with the bird and the bird handler was like You're not you can't smoke around the bird. You're not allowed to and Craig was like. Oh, yes, we are We're smoking around like there was a huge fight about it and I said To the prop guy said what do you do you have one of those those things those um, you know Things you stick in your nose and the canister the oxygen and yeah the action tank. Yeah, yeah, but I can't what's it called? Yeah, I got it on the top and he did exactly

Exactly Jason. That's exactly what he said and and that's how that came about that of course It made sense that my character would have emphysema after smoking for yeah, what about Craig Gillespie that guy? What a genius. He's amazing. He's pretty he's but I gotta say Jason You are been one of my favorite directors, too You are I there's no one more fun to watch on a set than you you you love I mean at least it seemed to me you love being in that position and just don't love it You just are able to handle anything that comes your way. You're such I had so much fun working with you on that

Listen you guys why don't we all do I have proposed that we all do a sitcom I know you guys were talking about sitcoms recently on the yeah, let's do it great So we just make let's make news right now Okay, so what would the concept what would the concept be? How could we best utilize what the three of us do and you do and what would that concept be? Okay, well, let's let's let's um, I think you're already halfway there with the outfit on right now the funeral outfit Yeah, okay, so I'm a boxer right now. I'm like a young. I'm like the young. No, I think you know So I've got well. I've got you being a luggage porter at a hotel

Allison owns I own the hotel. She owns a hotel and she's got three of us working there Will you're just you're doing a lot of luggage care. You're in charge of VIP relations Jason. Thank you I'm ballet. I'll do the ballet. She's Jason's like the mater. D. I agree Wait, listen, you're still in the luggage department. What are you on the ballet? Okay What's a valet do you mean the car parker or the guy that's taking care of our cars the concierge stuff parker But you fill in whenever wherever it's necessary. That's right You you you're on room service duty or you kind of jump around

It's a multi-cam. We need to you gotta be at the front desk. We have to have the front desk So Shawn you need to be front desk and Jason your concierge. I'm sorry. I have to I do like Jason's concierge Let's put Shawn with an old-timey operator board. We've got a plug-in the little little phone We can't get cameras in there. I can't get Shimada in there Well, what did we decide you were I'm the bellboy because a real young seeming just very sort of boyish Yeah, the big back. I'm cutting people off. They want to agree with me. Go ahead. Who wanted to So Allison we get burrows to direct it, right? You think you can make his deal? Please I've never worked with him I want to work with him so badly. You've never worked with James Burroughs. No, I've never worked with him

I've never worked with them. I'm very I'm sad about that didn't do any moms. No, no, no moms Who did the mom? Jamie widows the fabulous Oh my god, we love Jimmy widows. I love Jamie. Yeah, okay, so but wait I want to talk about your career because like you I've heard you talk about it before like the the agonizingly long kind of You know slow start in your career and what it took for you to get to where you are talk a little bit about that because Up until West Wing, I mean did Aaron Sorkin really see you in a play and just go oh, that's her for West Wing Is that how it worked? No, I think he's you know, I didn't he was I wasn't given that part I was up against a lot of very

talented ladies Yeah, but I think what sealed the deal for me is that Aaron saw me in primary colors Oh, yeah, and he's such a Mike Nichols fan as am I and I love Mike Nichols so much He was always so generous with me and He put me in that movie and that Prattfall I did was a big That just won me a lot of points. I love that now now Did you like are there roles you were up for and didn't get along the way or even now looking back

You still wish you would have gotten them or does it all make sense now? I Was a lot there. I mean I was trying to think of a joke like you guys always think of something I was like no hold hold. We don't it's hard when Sean throws as much crap at the wall You know, oh, yeah, I know okay, so I I auditioned for the part of Roz in You know Frazier, are you your friend Perry Gilpin got that part? Oh, yeah

You're both and then I auditioned for a third rock from the Sun and Kristen Johnson got that part So there were a lot of things I didn't get and then you want to work with burrows on both of those. Yeah Think about all the things think about all the things he doesn't like me think about yeah Well, there you go think about all the things you would not have been available for had you booked one or both of those Yes, well, I know and you know, I think it was meant to be that West Wing was the one that was meant for me And I mean it as my friend duly Hill says if it's not yours, it's can't be yours Mm-hmm. I gotta write that down doesn't sound bright He says it better than I just said it yours it can't be yours. I don't know it's some way of like it's just

Okay, everything's gonna be all right. Everything is happening the way it's supposed to happen This way you didn't have to hear a toss salad and scramble day all the time You know what I mean? You got you got a freebie on that What a bonus Toss salad and scramble Okay, so but wait so but growing up growing up your parents when did you go to the Royal Academy of drop of school? Whatever for theater the Royal Academy of Traumatic Arts I went there when I went to the neighborhood Playhouse in New York City

And they gave me a fellow that got a fellowship there to study at Radha and it was so funny to go all the way there and My teacher is American and every student in the class is American. So it was a great experience But it seemed kind of funny. I thought I was gonna be there with I did a summer program at Radha when I was when I was 18 Yeah Would did you have a lot of Americans in your class? There was a lot of dancer mime or what were you doing there? Do you guys want to see my dance belt

Oh, I'm wearing no for theater. Yeah, did you do what Shakespeare monologue did you do well? Oh I think I did something Something from Lear, I guess Wait, wait wait from King Lear. Well, I think my sander or Demetrius or something from I'm trying to think sorry What's that Jason? I was just when you're done. I want to talk about you've done Shakespeare question mark Well, no, I mean I did it add to you had to do it at I did she was there for real I was just there for a summer doing a doing a program there No, my thing was a summer thing too. It wasn't a whole it was like six weeks

And you know what here's the thing that really that really stuck out for me one was I had a teacher there and kept saying something something to the effect of like Hit hit the back row the back row and I was like, okay, got it got it So shout and then and then the other one was What was the guy's name? He was a this is like 1987 or eight and I did All the stage-finding stuff. I really it was that was fun Yeah, yeah, so which I still do a lot of that so wait but then didn't you do didn't you do Boarding school was that before the Royal Academy?

No, no Allison. Thank you. Thank you. Well, thank you. Well Allison is this not my interview. No, sorry In fact, you can go up move your microphone just the whole arm of it just all the way to the right So Allison you're so you're in boarding school. Yes. Yeah, but is that before the Royal or after the Royal? That was way before that was that was high school dude. That was high school man I can't keep track. I don't know. I graduated high school and I mean, whatever 77. Where was where was boarding school? Where did you grow up? I grew up in Ohio, but I went to boarding school in Lakeville, Connecticut. Oh Was that fun? Wait, what school is that hotchkiss? Oh, you went to hotchkiss. I did That's where my eventually became like a school for a lot of like problem kids. It's it. I went to non-Hochkins

Sean save it for hypochondriac. Okay, no one understands that joke It was very high level but well above My my intelligence. No Allison. I knew a couple kids who'd gone to hotchkiss and like this is in the 80s and my Impression was that were they'd been they'd each been kicked out of other like one had been kicked out of Chote At the other what you know what I mean? It was kind of like that. Really? Yeah, but I Know Allison Well, I would imagine that you get sent so many tasty tasty things. How do you decide? Don't be so gross the way you described

So tasty tasty, but how would you describe the characters that she plays? Fantastic scrumptious I'm just delightful. Just delightful characters. Just anything that doesn't we don't have to picture you licking your fingers, dude How would you decide you go? I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna really mash this metaphor out How do you decide what you want to eat? You know, God, which Like if I had chicken last night, I don't want something different I got you sure if I want, you know, like I just did okay, so I finished mom And then what I did was I went to do this movie Lou

Yes Vancouver where I play it's a pretty Different kind of role for me and I I don't want to give away although the trailer does have some pretty I had to Let's just say I had to learn some hand-to-hand combat. Okay, so that's what I want to ask about because I just saw it It's fucking fantastic and language. You saw the movie. It was fantastic. Yes, and you and you It's a role that you've never I've never seen you do anything like this before. What does that mean? What's it? What does that mean the role? Because it's kind of like a tough like it's the female Liam Neeson. I like to think yeah for sure You're but guys, but guys, she's kicking ass like crazy

Really, and I read somewhere that you train with like Charlize Theron and Halle Berry's guy Aaron, you know that like yeah, right and Daniel Bernhardt I don't want to give away the ending and I won't yeah, and and but the last scene one of the last scenes The butler did it. What? One of the last scenes you're on a beach and you're kicking the shit out of this guy and I'm going wait that has to be Allison it can't be the stunt person and he and he buries your face in the fucking sand and kicks the shit out and you kick the shit I'm like oh, yeah, what? Oh, yeah, I've got a lot of anger. I've seen a lot of anger under here. I'm so physically Violent as you must have hurt yourself just a little bit

I did I have some I definitely had some bruises This was something you know It's one of those things you guys have been talking about this when you see a script and you see it's nighttime a storm You know I was approaching and I'm like I'm out But but I did it this time and this was all this whole whole movie takes place during this massive storm that that hits the Lopez Islands, I mean those San Juan Islands I thought of that too when you were when I was watching I was like it raining in every scene Yeah, every single and and and wind machines. So in every scene. I'm like going

Well, you know screaming my line. So I ended up having to to loop a lot of them after the fact because I sounded so I To sound kind of cooler to have my voice registered down. Yeah, you know, hey, where are you going? You know to be but instead of going So the nightmare continued you're shooting nice So you got rain and then you had to ADR the whole thing and had to ADR a lot of it and we also shot it in during one Of the worst heat waves in Canada. Well, I don't know Yeah, that's something terrible. It was and nobody in Vancouver has air conditioning. No, it's like you don't need it

But it was pretty brutal. It was brutal. It was brutal on the wildlife in in Vancouver Yeah, but I worked with them a journey Smollett who was so game and great and so fun to Act with and I couldn't have done it with someone who would have been, you know, oh, it's so wet and muddy I can't you know, she was totally let's get in the mud together and so that was fun to do like a total It left for me and I was really amazing that and now I'm this lady and you know, it's it's fun to keep Shaking it up and playing so somebody wants to wants to grab you just make sure you check out what she did break before and off You the opposite exactly. Yeah, but really I was so impressed. It's such a good movie

And I was like, wow, look at you go and now a word from her sponsor and Now back to the show What were you doing with Mark Manchaka my other favorite person in the world down down in Australia? Maybe were you? No, I was in Thailand. Yes, Mark Manchaka is so I just love him so much my god for listener If you watch Ozark, he he played Russ Langmore the red-headed guy with the beard Oh, wow. That was a Julia Garner's Uncle yes, I think yeah, I should know that

He's extraordinary. I went to do this movie called true love with John David Washington who is Just the most extraordinary. I'm a big fan of lovely talented generous kind man and and Manchaka was on it. We kind of were a duo two of us and you didn't go out at night at all with Mark Did you? Oh, no, he hates to have negronies. Yeah, hates going out after work. Yeah, we had Thailand We went to Thailand It was it was also very a very hot location and we traveled all around to Chiang Mai and But I I think the sex capital of the world. Oh, huh a little strange You keep saying I think you keep saying I think it is like and then you and then why are your fingers crossed?

Yeah, why are you crossing? Jesus, it was that sounds great. I'd love to work in Thailand for a while It was it was the people there were so lovely and friendly, but it too was incredibly hot What I want to know too. I'm gonna go back to the early part of your career and say and ask you What are some of the like earliest things that you watched as a kid and we're like, man I want to do that. You know that you remember Carol and Carol Burnett is on this show. I'm doing on this Palm Beach No way. Oh, really? And I am now wordle friends with her I'm so excited we do wordle every day and that's great. How is you know, will will our nets got real strong wordle skills

What are your wordle skills like? I've tried to do Quortal and I can't do it. I can only do wordle and I'm not very good at it But it I haven't gotten I think I've gotten mostly in the the five out of six Will won't even talk to you now. Yeah, let me let me let me just say this because we've talked about it a few times I'm on a chain with a couple other people that Jason had to jump ship on because I get it tail between his legs We and we do octordal which is eight boards octordal, quartal, wordle And then we do and then we do the score of all three combined every we do it every day

We've been doing it for almost eight months now every single morning and today. I had a 77 this is why I've quit go ahead start Good God, which is which is really tell us all how you could have got a 75 or That's why I quit guy just so now everyone's gonna hear it. I mean this fucking guy Here's my score. Now had I done X Y and Z I had a such a 50-50 on Quortal and I could have anyway doesn't matter I could have had how long does it take you to do in the morning? How much time do you spend on it before you start your day about ten minutes to do all three really? Yeah, yeah

Wow, thanks me forever to just do wordle. I do too. It takes me all day I look at it in the morning that I go away from it. What takes longer is reading Will's excuses wise score wasn't even lower That's what it really is. Scotty. Scotty knocked it out of the park the other day He his first guess was craze and then twice and the word was twice That's that well, that's just good guessing good guessing amazing. What's your first word will I can't tell you He can't tell you that come on. I can't do it. No, you should go with I did vowels for a while I think it's all about consonants. You do. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna try that tomorrow Twist turns out twist is a good one

It's not because no it's not Wait, so you watch so Carol and so you watch Carol Burnett growing up and that and that Inspired you to want to do that or like what made you really well I wanted to have my own Carol Burnett show when I was watching, you know, that was my dream I just thought that's what I want to do. I want to yeah, did you tell Carol Burnett what she means to you? Yeah, I had dinner with her the other night and I just I told her how much I loved her and I you know Is that the first time you met her? No, I've met her before but I've never worked with her like this and gone out to dinner with her and I had to

Do a scene with her in this where I guess I can't give it away. Um, don't don't give it away. Don't give it away No, I'm leave that to Sean. Yeah But I I had to do a scene with her where she doesn't say anything and I am the one who talks the whole time, so It was she literally says nothing. So it was you where'd you guys go for dinner? We went to the palm you did. I love them. Yeah, we went to the palm and we all had and Carol Oh my god, it's so great. She has a specific drink She likes to have and she has these cards printed up with a little a picture of her You know pulling her ear and her drink

The recipe for a drink and she gives it. I hope she's not mad that I'm telling you this Or she's not listening I guarantee she's not listening and she gives it to the waiter and so I got a copy of it That's pretty awesome. So whatever drinks she wants you just hands it to the waiter the same drink always Oh, oh, she's the carton. So she so wherever she goes. Yeah. Oh, that's fantastic. It's very specific It's like a cosmo, but what she likes it bubble gum bubble gum pink colored with a little bit of Quantro and it says all these exact amounts and everything it's kind of you know what you know It's great about that if you know what you like. Yeah, you just just ask for it. This is what I like I bet she's got her her cartoon up there on the wall, right her little

What do you have them anymore at the new at the new palm changed owners and it changed owners too Yeah, you know Steve Martin used to have cards that said if somebody came up to him He just would stop them and hand them a card and say this is proof you've met me Instead of a picture So you wouldn't have to take a picture or sign anything he just hands them a card Oh my god, I want to have this pretty good and he would leave the house with just a bunch of those cars I have I had my photo. I had one of those you know those

drawings on the wall at the at the old palm on Santa Monica and Mitch Hurwitz and I went we used to know the we used to go there so much. We knew the old Mater D And we said this guy said Rick and we said we what we want is because we'd seen one from like the 70s That was buried in the back. We were like we want a version of what we saw we want Our heads but on babies bodies that are wearing diapers and then they're sitting on a cloud And he said great, where do you want it? We said we want it right by the front door and he went right there Anyway, so when they close it when they when they just demolished the old one

That's a while ago now that they demolished that They sent it to me the palm sent it to me and I've got it in my office a piece of wall Yeah, a piece of wall from the old palm with with that thing on it I wonder if the one and if the new york one's gone, too Because I was up there with I because I did nine five with them With dolly parton and we got ours up on the wall there at the palm But I I guess that's gone too now, but no one sent that to me That was such a good show and you were so good in it. I love that dolly was in the stage version of nine to five

She well, she she was part of she was a collaborator on that version that I did with stephanie block and megan hilti Um back in 2010. I didn't know you were in nine to five. What a way to make a living Oh, I wish I would have seen that what that joke coming Did you guys read about that huge storm that's heading our way? No, well, no, they didn't say it's heading our way. They said that it's there's a potential for it Oh, oh, right. You're talking about the yeah, the big mother storm that's going to rain for months and months huge like There's also supposed to be an earthquake. That's the the big big one not just the big one the big big one When is that supposed to happen? That's uh, we're over too. We're over now

So you're talking about that article that was like in the LA times or the times in the new york times It was about massive massive rain coming our way like, you know, six inches of men Yeah, but but but hang on. Hang on. It's not you key. That's that's misleading. It's not heading our way They said it could that is something that is that is possible within the next like 20 years, right? Yes I read that you may just seem like it's kind of that we got to look out by thursday Don't don't bother washing your car I didn't mean to do that. I am a little bit of an alarmist. I guess it just Alison, where would you go if california was no longer inhabitable? Where would you live?

Um, I'll tell you what I'd get my niece my niece patra and her boyfriend. They both fly planes They have their pilot's licenses and they um, I wanted to mention my niece is Amelia air pet rescue She flies pets from rural areas to urban areas. You're saying petra flies pets Petra flies pets for Amelia air rescue, but she's they fly planes So I get in the plane with them and we take off and go we can cut that plug by the way It needs to be paid for Alison Amelia air rescue Amelia if I was on that plane, I'd be petrified. Oh my god Well, but where would you ask them to fly it to where would you like to live if it wasn't Los Angeles, New York?

Maybe upstate New York. Um, and you know, I like Upstate New York very much. I love Burlington, Vermont area Lake Champlain Oh way upstate. Yeah way upstate like adirondacks type stuff Uh, yeah, but more on on the Vermont like grand isle um, um in the lake Champlain area I like Burlington, Vermont. I think that's gorgeous. Also the lake george area is fucking stunning I watch um, I watch this old house every sunday still and they had they just had saratoga springs on I thought that was real pretty That's beautiful. Um, like george is a little bit south of the adirondack. I mean, it's right there And then you go up north and you get to platzberg, which is at the top

Yeah, and then you can take the ferry across from platzberg to Vermont. That's right. Oh, is that right? Oh, yeah, that's my country But um, now some kind of joked about like what you do on your days off and like what I know we gotta let you go But I I want to What do you what is it that you do like it's it's friday? You're you're not working. You're not working till middle of next week It's friday. What do you what are you like? All right? I'm gonna this is my plan for the next couple of days other than just getting on the couch and watching a tv show. Well I'll tell you I do um

I have uh watercolors. I like to do put a little um like What do you call it a still life together and do watercolors. I have knitting I like to do I also have a full gym. I have a trainer. I love to comes over and and and we work out together Um, I did just adopt a new puppy. So I have four dogs now and uh, that's Uh taking up most of my life is training this new puppy that I got so you're a home body You would love being at home. I love I'm kind of but I kind of feel like I I didn't think I was I thought I used to like to go out all the time, but now I just hang out at home. I'm really a very

I hang out at home with the dogs and I'm happy And that's what I love too, but I want to be invited to things, but no one ever invites me and I just Because you at our place Yeah, we guys invite will bring his cards and and show bring some chin chin. Yeah, I would love that I never get invited Let's do some tarot card readings We're gonna do some taroing. Yeah, and then uh, my mom does a lot of knitting. She does a lot of uh, I've got needle point things. I'm oh needle point forget me. Yeah. I know all about it

My mom has bored us her whole family for years about it And we have to do yep Amazing feeling. I think that's a great thing. I will say she's listening my mom listens to it. She loves it But uh, and she's great. I have a feeling that needle point is something I'd actually fall in love with too I think so too like the the the monotony of the kind of and then it's it's a monotony of the story about it The knitting though is the thing that saved me through many family holidays when I was Things were stressful and you sit there with knitting and you could be in a room for a with who it's the most calming Thing to do and then those needles are handy in case one of those family members starts to really run their mouth

Exactly. Yeah Alice and janny we love you you have to go back to work In your trailer I really just let me tell you one fantasy I have when I listen to you because I listen to your show all the time Okay, it's a family show. Just keep the fantasy music But I have a fantasy of going on a road trip with The three of you a road trip to anywhere

I would just be the bad. I would just laugh at everything you say You should come on the road test next year when we go back out on the road. I want to be if I could just I'll do craft service or something or we're gonna get your we're gonna get your knees We're gonna get petra and her boyfriend to fly the plane for us. Petra can fly us anywhere we want to go We'll fill the plane with petrol And oh my god, you're so you guys you're so quick Everybody's jumping in on the fun. Well, it's fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. I'm petrified You know that was enough. She's in

Oh, everybody's in. Um, all right. Love you, honey. We took up too much of your time. We love you crazy I have to go back to my funeral now. I'm so happy and now I'm gonna I gotta go cry But tell wig are you gonna see wig go tell wig you were better than she was her birthday today Not that what's your birthday? Tell her we say I had a birthday. Guess what? I got a birthday present for you. The guy say it was the best. I was better than you No, just say that you were the best the best episode But play it off just and she and say how was it just go? I don't want to say anything and then say let me finish Of today. There you go. And she'll go. Oh you

Oh, we do. No, I would do it like do it for real. Just go. How was it just go? Yeah, it was I don't know and just be like so you drop, you know really really lure her in Okay, what are you just going? I feel kind of back. They said it They said it was the best And then just that's the hammer, you know I'm totally doing that. I'm totally doing it. I'm gonna nail it too. It's gonna I'm gonna reel her in and Of course you are because you're an absolute killer. You're a killer, especially in the hat. God, you're a killer. We love you I love you guys. I will say happy birthday. We love you. You're a mega talent. It's so great to see you guys. Love you, sweetie

All right, we love you. Bye Bye. Love you guys. I'm just gonna click out. I'm gonna leave. Yes, or slam it or slam the laptop. I'm going to leave leave Have either one of you fellas worked with that incredible lady? No. Yes many times. Yeah, you have Yeah, she's been a friend for a long time like she'll if you want her to do You know, she's always there for you if you have like this great part and you just You see her in it and you're just like I wrote this for you or I have this for you in mind She's like, yeah, definitely, you know, she's always kind of there and she's great. She's a good good friend

She's again one of those people who is No matter what the thing is, that's right. She's always great. Yeah, never sucks There's only ever actors. Yeah. Yeah that that they always hit it. No matter what the John Goodman syndrome Yeah, John Goodman's that way. No matter what John Goodman's in. He's always amazing. And then there are a few people Now she's in there. We'll just we'll like we'll let's create a little file Um, yeah, Allison was great though. Um, and and I love that we all kind of know where I know will you don't know her as well But I don't really but I feel like I know her. Um, she's just the best. There's a reason why she works all the time is because She's the coolest. She's just really down to earth and cool

Yeah, what do you guys got the rest of the day? I'm gonna go eat something. I had two bucks. Wow. Hang on a second. I can't stop the presses Really? Can we guess what it is? Oh, yeah, but did you hear me? I'm listening. It's 542. Yeah, you're in LA Can you go for us? It's going to be today is going to be uh, he's gonna make homemade pizzas on uh, french bread loaf He's just gonna take some pasta sauce and pour it on top And he's gonna grate the cheese himself to make it seem like he's really doing something

And he's gonna put in a toaster oven like I'm really creating something Uh, and while he's waiting for it, he's gonna have four bites of ice cream. Oh my god It's shot. Is that is that close to what you're having? It's kind of don't say it. Don't say yet. Don't say yet. Okay um You are See now as you're saying it's kind of close Uh, you have leftover pasta from a restaurant you went to And you're gonna reheat it

Or you you're gonna go pick up from a pasta restaurant. You're going to pick up Italian food. That's exactly right From uh, is it mariano's or whatever marino's marino's. Yeah, best Italian restaurant. Yeah Is there gonna be garlic bread involved with this? Absolutely. But last night I had did I tell you I I'm not making this up I had two boxes of mac and cheese Oh god Anyway craft mac and cheese craft macaroni cheese. Was it extra cheese? No, just the regular just the regular I'm sorry about eating. You know, we had that debate a while ago. We had sorry You can go ahead. You know in canada we call craft. They call it's called craft dinner. I'm not kidding

Yeah, forever. It's called in the craft macaroni cheese is branded as craft dinner. So Right and the thing I don't understand is growing up. They're like feeds a family of four and I'm like it feeds I need two boxes of it feeds a family of four super models. Hey, do you Do you Remember we had the debate about the about the checks mix and the bugles Yes And um, Jason, do you remember that? No, I don't think so

Yeah, that's not surprising. I look at that vacant look on his face. It's unreal. That must have been a year or so It's just like we get one of those motel signs. It just says vacant So we had a debate about bugles and and and it turns out checks mix and bugles are made in the same factory We had a thing and then they sent us all the bugles. I will say when the bugles are incredible I I can't get enough of those bugles. I love the regular and the ranch flavored ones. They're all good You're about to get a box. So I just want to say to all the people of america and canada, I guess And uh, wherever you bugles are available. Go grab them because they are fantastic Okay, what if the what if bugles were spelled instead of b u g they were spelled b i g here it comes

You mean Oh my god Oh, it's so lazy, but we'll allow it smart Smartless is 100 organic and artisanly handcrafted by rob armjurf Bennett barbaco and michael grand terry SmartLas