SmartLess - "Bill Hader"
Episode Date: May 8, 2023Things we discuss with the insanely talented Bill Hader: Portal-to-portalA hat on a hatPot roast for breakfastNut allergiesHow high can you jump?Did your parents listen to Charo?It's Sma...rtLess - here we go!Please support us by supporting our sponsors.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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wait two pieces of business right up front okay let's go business one Jason
Bateman just recently won the Screen Actors Guild award we couldn't be happier
this is gonna air months months yeah I get it but it just kind of happened
recently and it was really exciting I little tear I got welled up I was so
happy and so proud I'm just trying to chase you what do you got four of them
now I got for who's keeping score who's keeping score yeah that's right shit
it's so far yeah yeah well we're we're trying and I wish my hair looked as good
as yours this morning you did you get up early would you have a call back or
something by the way slept in our new merch shirt it's so comfortable oh that
is the merch store is up isn't it yeah it's yeah here's what I say about our
merch sleep in it don't sleep on it you know I mean oh my god are we paying you
extra for marketing no all of this stuff and these are just the tops of headsies
yeah I call them tops of headsies wait and then the other order business is Jay
had an emergency root canal yesterday yeah why did did you not feel it coming
on why did it was it was whenever I would crunch on something that didn't
crunch you know like a like a like a popcorn pill that doesn't well put no
pills if you really come down and like I need this it will collapse sure but you
know a bacon bit oh yeah or bacon bits are you eating like that would send me
into down to my knees well you eat so many nuts and by the way insert joke
here but but and also nuts here but but you you do you do eat a lot of nuts I
do and seeds and sometimes seeds don't don't collapse either on a heart so
anyway it's hard for me to go down on nuts to the seed the seed is stored in
the nuts right the seed is stored in the nuts yes yes I see I hear what you did
so it was all of the sudden so yeah so I had a bad a bad bite on some overly
fried rice a rice kernel that was fried up too hard in the pan so that took me
down a Sunday and then I had to get in there Monday and so what they did was
that was that pre-sag awards yeah was that it was it was I managed to fumble
through my acceptance speech with a hurt tooth I got skills you know pain
tolerance just kind of grit what was ever what was left of your teeth and got
through it I did so you so in a sense you acted like everything was okay I was
up there for acting excellence yes yes no one was the wiser Sean and so so then
so then I sit in the doctors the dentist chair yesterday morning and and he
he said yeah you're gonna need a root canal and I said when do we do that he
goes well we can do it today if you want to and he just stared at me and I
stared at him and he blanked and I blanked and he wondered if I had you know
the stones to actually go for it and I was like let's do this and he's lean
the chair back and you yeah no and when they started drilling and about 45
minutes into drilling right when I thought I was through the worst of it he
then gives me a play-by-play says okay now I'm gonna slice out the root or no
no he says now I'm gonna remove the nerve oh god you don't need to tell me well
like I just pictured this you know large animated angry red worm that he's gonna
slice through and pull out and I just it was just so dumb of him that's a lot of
nerve yeah was it was it I think a lot of nerve really oh shandy are you
getting a fax did a fax just come through Sean what happened listen we got
away at Sean's doing some reading is it okay should we pause it printed on my
printer okay let's turn all the devices off everything's on silent do you think
people are do you think people are just like butt printing you what's going with
their butts sorry I butt printed you nothing that's an emergency comes through
the fax anymore Sean no I got a phone call I got a phone call hang on a
second guest will's not done well we can kind of said but I got a phone call
from our friend Conan O'Brien yesterday I saw I missed it so I called him back I
don't don't even speak his name to me and I texted him I guess it's about the
holidays next year because everybody he's working on the list already sending
out the group photos from everybody you know this motherfucker I guarantee you our
guest was at that party guarantee we're gonna we're gonna open with that so I
said sorry I missed your colon he goes it was a butt doll even my ass hangs up
on you it is a problem about having your your your name be be starting with an
a yeah all the but all right I get all the but tiles from people all the time
all the time anyway what's even more pathetic is that you called him back hey
man you didn't leave a message you want me well we had been we had been texting
and then so I figured that he was like sick of texting so he just wanted to get
to phone so it's like no I didn't didn't want a longer conversation and I've
been kind of shitty I'd sent him because he'd been texting me this thing and I
and he was like can I ask you to the bubble I go yeah man I go I'm a very
busy person wait he was inviting you to something else yeah he's doing this but
you know his Easter jamboree you couldn't even get that out you are talk
so quick today Willie who says jamboree how do you have that word ready you
know what I just noticed after how many years now will that when you laugh
really hard you hold your left eye as if it's going to pop out it's just the
left eye that's loose I think right you just hold right underneath the eye
you're drifting I think that's my that's the one so it'll fall with a real big
laugh gang this week's guest is one of my favorite people and talents here we go
he is able to make you laugh or cry he can act or direct he also writes and
produces ladies he's a Gemini an avid reader and allergic to peanuts sounds
like I catch peanuts peanuts peanuts that better he's been a part of 50
movies and a lot of TV in fact there he's received three Emmy Awards three DGA
Awards three WGA Awards but the three daughters he has are his favorites guys
he's a lover not a hater ladies and gentlemen it's Bill I think I bet you
I've got to be the best at the intros can we just yeah when you were saying I
was like oh it's very well as always improvising them I take time and I
shape I shape that's what's the worst part I think that's the most damning thing
is that you actually put time in that hi Bill hater how are you guys so Bill
did you go to Conan's Christmas Party I did yeah I did were you invited the
year before as well I was yeah yeah those are intense how many years has he
been having that well I mean wait everyone has had that house oh you guys
were that were you guys there when the couch caught on fire I've always been
there yeah yeah when the couch he's inside and he's talking and you know
when Conan's had a couple two glasses of wine because he's like when I was a
rider and then behind him is couch caught on fire and it wasn't a bit and
we're all like going Conan the house some fire and he went oh wow it was very
sweet wasn't he was he head writer went by the time he left I know I love Bill
haters on the phone and we're talking about Conan no but no I think Conan he
had to be like one of the top writers on the show yeah I don't know if he was
ever head writer but he certainly is I don't know I think I think I think Jim
Downey was always the head writer when he was there Jim Downey man I couldn't
book him Bill what's number one on my list here fascinating wiki page by the
way have you read have you ever have you ever read your wiki page have you ever
edited your wiki page no no well have you ever read your wiki page don't lie
yeah I've read it before sure haven't you Sean I have not yeah Sean read it
years ago I have no idea I think you can get in there and change it right didn't
we change the rose once yeah Kimmel used to change the rose right yeah we
we yeah we wrote we wrote on the rose wiki page that he he's a he's a I don't
think we called him a cum crier but we said that he does he does cry after he
ejaculates right but it stayed there for a good day or two I think we told him
about it on his birthday okay hey Bill yeah we're interested in comedy as a
kid
this is a German interview with you the class clown in Germany the clowns are
very sad wait Bill you know what I can't help thinking I'm so sorry to bring
this up but every time I see you and we're all fans that is is the story of
Megan Mullally seeing you and calling one Michael yeah and like saying hey you
need to see this guy is that true I was in a I was at a class I was a like a
class show at Second City LA and her yeah brother-in-law Matt Offerman and I
were in the same show together and she saw me and it was like you know she's
from Oklahoma I'm from Oklahoma so anytime you meet someone else from
Oklahoma you're like you know there's a mural of them someplace you know it's
always like oh my gosh you know and she was like you're really funny and that was
and I didn't think so but had you auditioned for SNL before or no no no no
I didn't have it and she was like you're really funny and I was like oh thanks
and I was working as an assistant editor on Iron Chef America wow I know I
couldn't get the main thing is a lot of like Bill get the lights you know right
yeah yeah yeah assistant editor was like Bobby Flay electrocuted himself can you
take that out you know yeah so now so Megan Mullally was that close to Lorne
Michaels that she could actually pitch I guess so I think she had just hosted
okay and so she called him up and then I got a call from I was in my edit bay and
Lindsay shook us call me no way like I work I hey is Lindsay shook us and she
was Mark you know Marcy Klein's like yeah she was brand whisperer yeah yeah
and she said hey you know Lauren like to meet you blah blah and I was like
Lauren Lauren would like you to come and wait in the hall outside his office at
1 a.m. and then meet him at 4 30 yeah met him at 4 no that's 100% what
happened nothing makes me more nervous about the auditioning process than
waiting to go in I went in I was just sitting there and then I sat in that
outer office on the ninth floor for four hours and then someone came in like hey
we're gonna go have dinner now and I was like with Lauren and it was like oh no
no no just you and me and then that's like awkward small talk very nice
people and then yeah I finally was at dinner with who is that dinner with I
was just Lindsay and oh my gosh I forget the other person but it was one of his
assistants and then this is like 2000 early 2005 and then I and then I finally
go in to see him and he goes do you know why you're here and I said oh make him
well he says she saw me he's like you know I was on a boat once with a guy and
he was funny the way that Bill Murray is funny and I thought to myself I know
Bill Murray and then it was like do you want to hang out tomorrow and watch the
show and I was like sure and he was like all right and you know who and then you
know who hosted the next week when I did my show was you Jason me when you
hosted the first time the first was I that was when it was Tuesday night
riding night of when you hosted they made the cast some of the cast members
and people come and watch me perform no way because I remember early 2005 that
was like what like January February yes yeah how do you know that will that
will because I have a fucking crazy and I was sitting there going to go yeah we're
writing that Jason Bateman's hosting this week and you know we got to get back
so hurry come on you got to like because he needs a lot of writing yeah I had a
sketch group and my like sketch slash audition piece was in the middle of the
show and Lindsay shook us around the back and was like just do that sketch come on
but here's my question though it's like it Megan so Megan made this call to
Lauren Lauren called you but did you have any aspirations to do that or were
you just like sure I guess I'll show up because somebody called I always I came
to LA to be a director those were always my heroes you know I was like
writing directing and then but I you know I mean back especially late 90s
early 2000s it was still like had to be on film you know I mean video didn't look
as good as now and I had no money so a way to be creative was a friend of mine
said oh do you want to take classes with me at Second City and we'll just mess
around and and it was really fun but it was always like so when I got on SNL I
was so envious of the Lonely Island guys that they were making short films yeah
yeah so I was like well can I go hang out while you guys are making those so I
can because that's my world that's what those were the digital shorts for
Tracy yeah for Tracy I remember Bill I remember early on when you came on the
show like early and we're at an after party with your folks it must have been
one of your first shows do you remember that we were sitting outside my dad lost
his mind over will my dad really there was huge there were huge are his parents
were huge arrested fans remember that bill yeah my dad goes no fucking way
well holy shit and he kind of had will up against the wall it was at that place
that's right across the street from 30 rock on 6th Avenue exactly yeah yeah
bill good and I was going dad dad dad dad relax and he was like no fucking way
you're gonna my face bill yeah I remember bill and bill was like new and
bills just kept going I'm sorry man I yeah you know and I was like that
like right there were your pairs were super nice oh it made me it I was gonna
have a panic attack because I heard my I was had my back turned this is back when
I smoked so I was having a cigarette that's right and I was and behind me I
hear will our net bill senior and I was one time my mom went over and sat at
Lawrence table and I look over there and Paul Rudd was like he kind of goes
bill are you clocking this and I turn around and my mom is sitting at Lawrence
table in between Marty short and Steven Spielberg
over there and I'm like she's coming with me I'm sorry come on come on you know
just like oh my god it's like they're all so short were you
they're so tiny they're all so tiny were you I would imagine they're not even
there in front of them yeah exactly were you confident that you were that you
were a comedian and were able to make a living in comedy given that you were
kind of just wanting to be a director and go that route and then all of a sudden
you find yourself with a job as a comic it were you did you feel like great well
let's do this now are we like oh they're gonna find out yeah I don't know what
I'm doing yeah yeah I was I mean to have that those people who were in there when
I showed up you know I was really intimidated you know so I was like they
all had second-city you know groundlings I mean I came in with Jason and yeah
comedy Chicago man and I just was like I don't I remember my first table read just
going I wrote a thing with Will Ornette sorry Will Forte and it was it was so
bad and I just remember looking in the middle of it over at Tina Fey and she
just had this look on her face like you know I was I was so I was very I was
incredibly incredibly crippling insecure and anxious I would say the first four
seasons but but it's almost like you were made for the show though because like I'm
sorry to keep harping on the same point but it's like you you got this call but
you could also you had all these characters inside of you and a lot of
that's you know I find it rare in a lot of sketch shows that people have so many
characters like you or Mike Myers or Dana Carvey or whoever that that just had
them but did you even know that you had those characters in you no I didn't know
no a lot of that was like you know you make fun of people you know you do
impressions of people at school right you know things like that but never you
know I don't know you guys are probably I don't know I was not the funniest of my
friends in high school so it wasn't like I was known as a funny like my friends in
high school when I hang out with them I'm like the eighth funniest guy right
everyone you know how to cherry pick I know how to you know what I mean yeah
half my shits all will our nets yeah Bill you know what makes me think of it is
is our mutual friend and all of our friend the great Pete Serif in which
when he used to do that 15 impressions but it's all of made-up
characters is one of my favorite things so it's not it's fake famous you guys
both do an Alan Alda the kills you both do now well that's what people say Alan
Alda was like we got to see Peter Serif I know what this is pretty insane but
but bill it remember but you know it does make me think though like you did you
talk about the film you did you in the lonely island boys started making video
you were in there and working with those guys pretty early I mean in fact the
summer after a lazy Sunday you guys were making hot rod was a June change it was
a June July or August well that was September hot rod was August September
2006 that's fall 2006 that's just that it came out in seven yeah it came out in
seven but it was shot and we shot it in six yeah cuz I remember I went up to my
friends wedding in Toronto but I had to go really I was really sick I just we
just want I just showed it I just watched that movie with my kids and their
favorite part is you yelling babe babe babe which one is that hot rod I've not
right remember there's that scene bill we were shooting it was you me Danny
McBride and Yorm but you and Yorma were standing in front of me and and fuck I
forget what happened I kept going like what about the little one we'd all
break up and I was like okay we gotta stop we gotta get one but what I was
gonna say was you did you got on you started making videos with these guys
really early and fuck I love the one that you guys did that fucking always
kills me I think holds up is that dear sister oh yeah those I mean to be clear
those guys wrote and directed all those it was kind of like they would come into
my office and go hey Bill you want to be in this and I feel yes cuz I just wanted
to be around them shooting stuff yeah but you're a vital part you're yeah that
dear sister one was I think something fell through and that was a thing they
had done before so they're like oh we're gonna recreate this thing we did once
before and that was at a hotel across the street from 30 Rock and all I
remember from that one is that we started shooting it at like midnight no
way and then it was done on Friday night and then it was done like seven in the
morning Saturday morning and I walked out and I had the choice to like to like
go home and try to sleep or do I just go to 30 Rock right now and just hang in
my dressing room until we started rehearsing it was awful yeah I don't
know but it was like it was you and Wig and Andy and Fred and Jason were cops
at the end and then Shia LaBeouf Shia LaBeouf and Fred and Jason you guys
ever seen that sketch do yourselves a favor it is the Lonely Island guys
incredible just incredible I'd love the timing of the editing of that sketch is
unbelievably funny yeah it's very good it's a masterclass in timing yeah I got
to see that and we will be right back
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back to the show so Bill did you did you think that you had a fastball when
you started was was there did you think I'm gonna do impersonations or I'm gonna
be the straight man or I'm gonna be crazy like what did you think like your
Vincent right by the way your Vincent price fucking kills thank you yeah a lot
of stuff was the writers would kind of I was someone who really needed the
writers I was always impressed with people like Fred and Kristen and these
people who just write for themselves yeah you know and you were like man you
guys are just so confident you could do that I really need to go into a writer
and go you know and sometimes it was like well Bill what's a voice you do you
know it's anything and and like a lot of people I kind of came in and my heroes
and things I liked was much more weirder and kind of stranger and a lot of I
learned the term hat on a hat yeah it was like I was like you can't just do a
talk show it's got to be a talk show that's inside a man's ear that's on the
you know whatever it was very money Python explain explain had on a hat for
the it's kind of like a joke on a joke so a perfect example was I did a sketch
because I could do a tauntaun impression it's so funny and Mike Matt
Murray one of the great writers on the show said what if you did that they're
banter and we so you so and we had Natalie Portman was hosting so it's like
oh what if it's you teaching her how to do different Star Wars noises as part of
her SNL audition and then I said what if I do it is Peter Falk so what that thing
alone is me as just an acting teacher yeah that's enough uh-huh but adding Peter
Falk was like can you do like two seconds of it on a hat oh no it was like so
yeah this is a job
now listen the tauntaun comes from the landed horse
come over here will holding his eye Luke Skywalker is gonna have to ride him
across the icy and and and and I just remember Seth Meyer is going like hey
buddy hey buddy can I talk to you for a second how it's a little bit of a hat on
a hat and I go what and then I did it at dress you're never gonna believe this
it died as well as we I could hear my footsteps I could hear myself put in
a glass of water down it was like so quiet you can hear the e-train you hear
someone cough in the alphabet streets and I was like oh god this is bad news
and uh and and I went in there and I just looked at me and he might not
mimicked you know putting a hat on top of another hat and I was like okay and so
it didn't make it yeah I think that is so funny was Natalie must have been dying
when you were doing yeah she I think she seemed to like it I don't know and then
and then we did I remember Dana Carvey hosted we did a thing called the
casems where he was Casey case and I was the son JC case him and the whole thing
was that we had a terrible relationship and it was me coming to the house at two
in the morning and he was like who's out there I'm Casey case I'm like it's dad
it's not a burglar raccoon it's me your son JC case son get out of here dad
here me out son I want nothing to do with you and it was this very intense
family drama you're always asking me why won't you get a job why will you won't
you stop doing drugs and what recording orders had more number one is Mariah
Carrey with 11 but seriously son I need you out of my house and that played to
utter silence I've got more silence because the audience was going wait did
he wait what you know what I mean and so and yeah we were just I would have been
on Dana and I were going Dana and I were like why didn't I wrote it with John
Mulaney and we both were like why didn't that work well do you guys ever have
discussions about well because the dress is what eight and then the show is
obviously yeah and 30 but is there a do you ever say well but the audience at
eight is weird and it's different let's just trust that the 1130 audience is
gonna love it at home and and it's like it's not I wish there was a science to
it but it I do remember if the dress was hot that was bad if dress was really
hot I remember pollers saying like oh hot dress that's bad and I was like why
what oh you know and then yes right it's like if the dress is hot then weirdly
you get like it's a superstition thing you get really confident and then when
you go out to do the live show it's like go shot go shot I was to say for my
sister Tracy like when you say dress is dress rehearsal oh sorry that you do
before the pre-show live show sorry I have extra sketches in the dress yes so
there's a cut go ahead it doesn't work gets paired out yeah so dress rehearsals
at eight o'clock we do a whole show plus like I remember that three or four
extra sketches and then we go into Lauren's office and stuff has been cut
and then the stuff's been rearranged and rewritten and then that's the live show
and this is after a brief conversation with the host who gets to chime in I'm
not sure to what effect about what they would like or not yeah and I'm not sure
if they're listening I think and it's Lauren eating popcorn going yeah I mean
if you want to look like a fool we can do this you know I once I once my
brother-in-law played golf once yes years ago and he owned a golf club and
the question is are you gonna rent her own are you gonna catch is you know and
then you we would do those Vincent Price sketches and if you between dress and
hair and like someone wouldn't do something you know old-school impression
and Lauren would be like what if John Hamm played Herbert Marshall and you're
hearing the band playing you're hearing the live audience be put in and you're
like I don't know if the audience is gonna know Fred McMurray and it's like
how about James Mason anybody could you do if I imagine you when you're working
on an impression if I imagined you in front of a mirror alone just like making
faces and doing sounds is that is that is that about the extent of it like is
it a real private kind of or is it kind of a little here and a little there like
sometimes in the car sometimes in the car you do it around people and then it
kind of comes out and it's like whoa that's not a good do you still do that
bill or I mean do you still oh yeah yeah it's like it's just like yeah it's like a
my dad does this to where it's a it's called appropriation where it's you
know when you're nervous around someone you start to talk like them you know and
I've done that since I was a kid like a very socially anxious and then you start
to mimic people's accents as a way of being like hey I'm like don't you know
like we're all good you know it's like we're part of the same tribe don't kill me
yeah don't don't kill me so yeah you start to talk like people or whatever and
then and so I think that went itself to being able to do voices you know when
you were growing up in Oklahoma did you do that with like did you have a did you
gravitate towards friends that had the same sensibility and we're kind of yeah
you know I'd like that or were you like oh yeah and like we weren't like weird
outcast no he was trying to ingratiate himself with murderers and well that too
I mean yeah I mean I kind of wanted like oh I just wanted like to get to know
everybody yeah no but like my best friend is a writer on Barry is like one of
the big writers on Barry and we've known each other since we were 15 or so wow we
still right great show and you're great yeah congrats so working on a
bridge from SNL to Barry what about do you remember the moment where it started
to become clear to you that okay my life is changing and going to change and I
gotta kind of get my knees bent and be ready for what can be pretty uncomfortable
which is fame and recognition and responsibility and and and approaching
your dreams what did that feel like when Barry came out or like when after SNL
ended yeah I mean to move away now from SNL but I guess it must have started
there and and feeling like maybe I can now leave and see if I've got what I hope
I have and try it out there yeah that's that's it's nerve-wracking when you I
mean because I remember when I left SNL I did like interviews about it like I
went and did like Charlie Rose and I did these things about you're leaving SNL
and the attitude and everything was like well maybe we're never gonna see you
again you know nice knowing you that's the rest great no one knows there's you
know and it was like maybe that's it and so yeah it was I wonder what that batting
average is what do you what do you think the percentage of cast members that go
on to you know careers that you can you can still make a living with I don't know
I mean yeah I have no idea I mean I I try to I think it was for me it was like
you know it's like if I thought of like what makes the plane stay up in the
air I would go crazy yeah you know so so I just was like I'm just gonna move
forward and block out any sort of because I'm very sensitive to other
people's energy so it is hard when you see you know agents or executives are
like hi you know wait am I out I mean wait what was that
and so I'm very so I I do kind of like put my head down and just keep moving
forward and try stuff it was pretty cool to see you start taking roles that
weren't necessarily starring roles they were these really cool supporting roles
in in these really fun movies that had these great big stars leading them and
I was like this this is it looks like you're building this foundation that is
gonna be around for a long time and then when Barry happened and especially the
directing element I was just like so excited for you and then talking with
you afterwards and finding out about your original passion which was directing
I just was so excited for you that that has all come true I mean thank you very
much jumping around a bit but I mean it was that always a goal for you and that
some of these to the extent there was any strategy that some of these these
career choices were meant to point you in that direction and finally land
something where you could be somewhat of an auteur yeah I mean I think it was
always wanted to do movies and then and then you know I'd written some scripts
and then I was did some acting jobs and then but I didn't really have a lot of
faith in myself it was kind of like you know it's like you dream of a thing but
you don't you know I don't know if I can do it feels like the universe wants me
to be this thing right and I'm kind of going well maybe I'm not right for this
other thing and then honestly I had a beanie with HBO they had seen me in a
movie called Skeleton Twins and they said oh you should yeah we were interested
in you being like that kind of acting in a show for us not like sketch and I was
like okay cool and then they know you meet this guy Alec Berg maybe you guys
come up with something so Alec and I sat Alec Berg came up with with the show
Barry and it was when I went into the meeting I talked about Alec about it or
anybody and they went who do you think should do the pilot Michael and Bartos
like who do you think should do the pilot and I was like I'll direct it and it was
just silence and like if you were directed before I was like no no but I
can do it and Alec Berg to his credit kind of looked at me I didn't talk to him
about it or anything and he went yeah yeah he can do it yeah I got no he'll be
you can do it and then that's great and then he told me afterwards that he was
driving home and they called him going all right can you really do it or you do
this yeah cuz that's a big for Tracy that's a very good you tell me though at
one time and maybe that you said that Alec said to HBO yes if Jason Bateman
can direct anybody can is that yeah that is a quote that's yeah well that was a
t-shirt they wear over the DJ that was a tee and the DJ said the DJ said yeah we
let him in as a as a bit they said they said yeah yeah into the DJ also at
South by Southwest when they give you your key cards yeah before seasons it's
like if Jason Bateman that's what guys this I hope this is a joke no it's gonna
be it's a big long joke and they're giving you awards and they're giving you
jobs because at the end it's gonna be we're gonna do a big reveal when you're
like 60 yeah and by the way when Jason 60 he's simultaneously gonna weigh 60
pounds he's whittling down you know and now we can even have the nuts so it's
just the cardboard so it's gonna be 60 pounds and then we all go it was a fucking joke
Jason do you ever have that happen though when people look at you and they
go oh actor and actors directing if they don't I'm they can always be sure that
I'm doing it I'm sitting there going what what am I yeah but both you
guys are smart dudes and you know what you're doing and you've been around a
lot and as you know from the little directing that I've done it's it's a
much more about understanding what it is that you want tonally and what you want
that to be and also you guys have succeeded in it it's not like you tried
it and failed but still it doesn't matter because my idea of what a director is
and looks like is completely opposite for me it's just like your idea of what
50 would be when you were 12 has nothing to do with what I feel like and look
like at 50 or you know like you also know like even the greats as you know
there is a certain and I say this out of you know with a tremendous amount of
respect for all the great directors that have come out is is there's that thing
of like they have to keep it special and keep it exclusive and keep you out
because it they're not doing it to punish everybody else but it's also to
maintain that respect and that level of thing it's like this guy's a great
director and you could never do that and there's a little bit of like well you
did it no you're just a human being as well and yeah it's not so scary just a
bit yeah a little bit and there is and of course there are great directors but
you guys are both very accomplished good directors and you that's how you become
a great as you keep doing it yeah and also just sitting around a set and
absorbing what everybody is doing to create this fake world like it's hard
what these crew members do is insane insane it's really really and it's not
just the director as you guys know it right there everybody the costume
department look how many actors show up on the first day of principle
photography and they're like okay let's get started I think no no we've been to
this we've been doing this probably a half a dozen times already basically yeah
it's always yeah people kind of thinking like well you know I mean it's also I
always have a thing where you have an idea and then you go out there and you
see all these people busting their ass away from their families yeah in terrible
conditions for at least 12 hours trying to make you right you're trying to make
your idea happen you know I mean I'm like I sit and I look at that I feel like
such a responsibility to you know have my shit together and and as we know as
actors that's the worst is when you have a director that doesn't know what they
want and they're certainly and it can be this and you're there for I mean I've
worked on shows where I did a show on a movie where we did reverse splits because
we kept going so late through the week so by Friday we started the day on stage
at 1 a.m. yeah shot until 3 p.m. on stage because a director because a director
was just like I don't know what's reverse what's reverse splits okay so like for
Tracy that's a big treasure yeah so like if you start like so you have to have
like a like certain people have to have like 12 hour turnarounds meaning like if
you work from 7 a.m. and you you shoot until 10 p.m. you got to start the next
day at 10 a.m. right give people 12 hours you get 12 hours of rest which
includes driving home which is exactly can't negotiate you got to negotiate
that no but I mean early on when you're starting that's let's not even get into
portal to portal I mean what are you talking about a portal to portal is like
the goal like you got portal to portal wait now we're gonna start getting into
Downey's deal I mean Downey's on stage for 45 minutes before he's out yeah it's
anyway you go to so like if you start at you know Monday at work at 7 a.m. and
you end at 10 p.m. and then you have to go okay now we have 10 a.m. and then they
go to tell one now Wednesday you can't start until 1 p.m. and then you can't
learn 1 p.m. it's gonna roll back even more so it's basically a director
shooting 18 to 20 hour days and you got to get people there turn around it just
keeps pushing pushing pushing right so so you're ending your work week Saturday
Friday for in the afternoon yeah Friday and you're like yeah yeah yeah and it's
solely because someone doesn't have their shit together yeah shit and then
director's defense they never see any other director direct so they don't know
that they're not getting it done that they're not doing it well it's you know
actors crew members everybody sees multiple directors and then if you ever
get the chance to direct you can cherry pick from all the good ones exactly do
the stuff that the bad guys did Sean go ahead jump in it's a quick I wanted to
say Bill one of the first times I was ever introduced it introduced to one of
those hysterical bad lip reading things was you somebody sent it to me years
ago and they're so funny I think there were Star Wars ones or something yeah
and and and they make me go so I never seen that and I want to know are you
done you're done with the subject we were on yeah directing okay he loves he
loves it he's just goes 180 on unbelievable he got it it's okay it's
fine you've pissed off the guest Sean no no it's okay we can talk about bad
lip reading no I always wanted to know because I know I've never met anybody
who I know who did it how I just got a dumbest question the world but I'm
always interested in knowing how do you do it did they just run the tape and you
ad lib or the guy who does it is a genius and he he just you go to his house and
he's done it already oh wow so you just you just oh you just it's you are it's
just oh okay watching it going okay so he's done it already and so you're
trying to mimic it's so funny they've done and it's really that guy and it
kind of just took off and now they do it for people in Congress and like I don't
know how they yeah I have no idea anyway that's all I want to know now what we
move this around in the episode I mean there's a whole Sean section that is
after we say he's like a make-a-wish kid he'll just go I was wanting to know how
didn't you and when we give him a t-shirt every once in a while we're just
building the steam with the juke row up with a dog
now with with Barry where are we with where are we with Barry as we as we
talk I know by the way sorry no offense to make a wish obviously it's an amazing
and yeah you have to say that everybody knows your job okay well we don't you
know we get lots of letters from people let them let them write just don't read
them well you're right yeah but so where are we with with Barry are we in
production out of production the thing with Barry I'm just waiting for Sean to
come in yeah it was really funny he doesn't think of any questions until
you're actually talking your parents listen to Charo believe me it's exactly
like that no but I think that's funny I like that no we just did so we're doing
editing season four and how high can you jump I'm just curious these are the
things seem like you could long legs you could jump high anyway depression you
were talking about depression you're really into the you're really into the
thing you were talking about but I just wanted to take you out just to satisfy
this my own itch and so that's right depression has affected your family for
how long and and and you do like tater tots I just want to get that and now a
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now sorry I have night terrors and now back to the show wait so so you're
you're editing we're editing and we just did reshoots last week we did three
days of reshoots so I'm in this weird place of like did these reshoots and
now I'm back in the edit bay plugging in what we reshot and the anxiety of like
oh please tell me this works you know yeah and seeing how it plays out and
going but then it's also that I'm also at that phase where really smart friends
and people who have worked on the show or people I know writers or former editors
I will send them the episodes to be like how's it feeling haven't been sent
anything you know I well you know I just I don't think so didn't you take now I
feel like it hasn't been on for a while didn't you take a break was there a
break or a COVID thing or something yeah well we had to for season between
seasons two and three yeah yeah and then I shot I've been waiting no I've been I
did three and four pretty much back to back huh yeah because of dr. Fauci dr.
Fauci yeah because of Fauci because he wanted to do I keep going what's the end
game what did he want to do he wanted to take over the planet what do you think
the Emmys what I say you you too Jason and Will were the two people the Emmys
that pointed at my face and went mouth why are you wearing a mask I remember you
wearing a mask I remember yeah Jason you were going why like malving are you sick
stay away from me and I was the reason was because I was shooting and it was a
thing of like if you get covered we shut down for two weeks lose all our
locations people got to go home we lose crew yeah so I walked in and I was like
there's literally no one with a mask here you were the only one I saw Bob Odenkirk
and he's like do you have COVID Bob Bob Odenkirk and Bill so we were doing
brother Solomon and oh my god I was on a yeah and I know what you're gonna say
Bill's on a recumbent bicycle okay yeah and so so we got the scene it's me and
and and and wig and he kept having this thing and and but Bob was so obsessed
with Bill and he goes oh oh oh my god buddy oh look at Bill on the recumbent
and he says look up in the sky and Kristen wig is giving she's giving a
performance where she has to cry you got to cry you remember this yes she has to
cry and give this emotional speech and the joke is that while she's doing this
the brother Solomon are watching me as this weird guy in a recumbent bike well
he he was Bob was being one of the broson because Kristen was giving this
amazing performance and he was like cut okay Bill what you got to do and she and
our net was like hey Bob can we please acknowledge what she was doing this
amazing work and he was like oh my god where did they find this thing did they
invent this bike this isn't real is it oh my god it was so crazy it was so crazy
it was like he's drawing on all this past pain pain and Bob Bob obsessed with
Bill on the fucking bike and I just I really have respected our net for being
like hey can we just acknowledge and then you're going to prison is another
Odenkirk film that was incredible that was a great work yeah yeah it was a good
but my very first audition for a movie was I auditioned for some part in that
movie no way and Bob I remember reading with him and he took my sides away and
he goes don't worry about these just talk to me oh really I was so scared I was
so anxious I was so anxious because I was like he's a legend and the mr. show and
everything and I was I was so terrified and I never auditioned before and I did
the like by rote and a mirror like you know I did everything you know and what's
the most money what's the most money you've ever spent in one trip to
Trader Joe's sorry about this bill on that while we're on food I want to I want
to hear about your peanut allergy when was the last time you had a real I want
to know when you had a real blow-up with peanuts how did Marty Short said you know
Bill usually people when they talk about their allergies it's so boring but when
you talk about it but what I do have a not allergy I do have a very bad how do
you know what happened my mouth gets it just happened to me it just happened to
me about a month ago I was entered I was doing it I was moderating Q&A with
somebody and we went and ate beforehand and I ate lasagna I'm at you know a
little Dom's and I eat lasagna and then suddenly my mouth goes numb and my
throat starts to go go up and I go in the bathroom and I see I'm getting a
rash on the side of my face and I go and so I ran in and there people are still
talking and being going I go to the bathroom I ran down to there's like an
Albertsons there something run inside find Benadryl take it in the aisle took
like three of them and then went back and I just I just I had no EpiPen so I
just did some Benadryl texted my doctor they were like okay you should be fine
okay we're gonna put in a prescription here whatever and we were just figuring
it out and I end up still doing the what would nuts be doing in lasagna it was
vegan it was vegan vegan cheese it was cash I'm out okay it's not unusual in
Los Feliz for actors just to be taking drugs in the aisles available that is
true I was there was a bunch of other people and they're like you too man now
so I don't remember when we were at the Dodger game and I and I eat tons and
tons of peanuts I don't remember you getting nervous that I was near you
with peanuts yeah you're not one of those no no it's not like the dust or
something I have to like ingest it yeah yeah it's all right it's no fun no no
by the way by the way Sean just very discreetly under his thing wrote down you
just give me a lasagna he's just wrote it that's just gonna have for like like
lasagna Garfield oh no I'm free you know what you know what Sean said to me by the
way the other day this is totally true Jason I haven't told you this yet either
Sean the other day just goes you know what I had for breakfast this morning
I had a pot roast for breakfast and they go what just out of the blue what
yes with mashed potatoes and then I had ice cream nine in the morning what are
you being executed you being executed I mean we were at a meeting the other day
we were to meet in the other day and they made us a cake this is a cake that
had our smartless pictures and names and stuff that was on the frosting on top
just like is a gift like a sort of ceremonial like yeah it was kind of fun
little thing and and Sean left the meeting with the cake full cake no hang
on a second hang on a second walking out before the meeting started Sean cut
into the cake and started eating it at the table his own table 30 people they
made a cake for us and a business meeting he was like well it would be rude
not to have a piece so he starts eating it and then he took it with him in his
car but he left he came down out of CA with this cake with his own fucking
face on it but he lives he lives with his husband and a dog that's you said
you'd have half of it done by the end of the week that's got his god diabetes
he's not eating the cake so it's all Sean so Bill Bill what's your current
temperature no no Sean serious question how much of the cake is left this is not
that night he had more and that morning the next morning right Sean there's five
days later how much I kind of wanted it done like if you're an adult and you have
all the cake you can eat why wouldn't you eat it right are you self-aware when
that's happening Sean are you like you have guilt you have shame no shame no
you know what I think it is like I just can't stop I think we grew up with
nothing anytime anytime I'm like oh my god free cake free cake tell me how much
of the cake is left it's gone is it really yes well that was a week that was
you shit pig almost a week ago shit pig yeah you just know I get that I don't
know I get it I get it I do get it where it's like we're just gonna leave this
here come on I know there is a lot of that and there's a lot of waste and what
we do um final question how high can you jump if you really want to jump high
how high by the way here's the other thing Bill you work with our group with
our old dear friend on Barry Henry Winkler oh yeah I love him I love him
Henry's so sweet he's the greatest the sweetest yeah he's always like like you
doubt his sincerity he's so damn nice does he still leave his ringer on on his
phone while you're rolling does he do that no no he doesn't we had we have a
blooper wheel that's dedicated from the first couple seasons of domestic to
Henry's phone going off in the middle of a scene it by the way usually during
his own dialogue so he'd be doing yeah he'd be doing a courtroom scene going
what do we have to and then ring oh my god hang on a second oh it's Stacy hold
on Jason we have a great blooper of Jason going go ahead and take that one
just take it Henry he's so sweet Henry one time we were doing a thing and you
know my character fought in Afghanistan and in three takes in a row he said
Vietnam yeah really I have him on my phone and when Barry was fighting in
Vietnam that's not right hold on and then every Friday it's like Henry that was a
great take where you had to have a you know mental breakdown that was really
good he's like you got me there I have this chocolate bunt cake from Jersey
City in the trunk of my car he is absolutely the greatest amazing work
and I think he gets very anxious about his dramatic work but he's such a good
dramatic actor and he really will go where he need you know he's not afraid
or whatever but it is funny how much he he'll have that moment and then he you
know turns it right on you know this season especially goes through a lot of
stuff but when he do that and then yeah he'll offer you sweets such a talent you
know he was one of the guys when we were first doing a rest of development and I
was living in New York but coming out here to do it and I'd be oftentimes you
know I was friends with these guys a little bit but you know whatever I didn't
have anywhere and he and his wife Stacy would invite me over on Saturday
mornings and I would go over there and just you know have breakfast with him
and with the family all the time he was so sweet I know they were so generous
oh yeah we pretty much every month go and have breakfast like once you know
like and it's and it's great and he is kind of like so how are you doing like
outside of everything how's your life how's this how's this feeling like he's
just I always walk away from those feeling you know better but I want to
grow up in his house well you remember back then back then it was like when
his son Max was still in high school yeah and and his best buddy was Jonah
Hill and those guys were still in fucking high school when I was there like
this is like 2003 like the fall of 2003 all was it yeah yeah those guys were
still in high school him and Jonah and they were like oh man we love a rest of
development and they were they were like fucking 17 you know or if that so
weird anyway yeah 2003 Sean wanted to know have you ever had to put snow tires
on he just he texted that in he said just please ask him I'm so glad you got
it in time that's a great question can you build because I'm such a massive
hammer I'm such a massive fan can you do just I know you're not a singing monkey
here we go can you do Vincent price just a little bit because it's so fucking
funny oh thank I'm trying well the thing I remember the John Mulaney's first
night of riding at SNL he the Seth Meyers said oh we maybe we should bring
the new guy in and help him Vincent price and we were riding a thing and it
was Fred would play Liberace and I'm Vincent price and we're arguing yeah
and and we're arguing is as you do right still with you yeah yeah so he's
well with you this is this by the way this is this is in 2008 when people are
still really excited with Vincent price and Liberace and as Lauren said I like
to sketch but why now but Liberace and they're talking and we're like oh what's
that thing Vincent price could say to Liberace after he burns him or something
and and and John Mulaney came up the line save your sassia sides for your
windowless bars
Fred would yeah Liberace was always him talking about like a prince who had
given him a jewel or something yeah and anyway Jack Nicholson John Malkovich
all of them I fucking love all of them oh thank you very much yeah but the and
then yeah that line always we were just like whoa but like what about that what
it like are there ever gonna be another vehicle where we can see you do your
impressions or is it just there's a chapter clothes like Camel or something
they'll be like like what I want to Camel like not too long ago and you have me
do all the Dateline people right because I watched Dateline a lot like all the
Dateline people so I did them and but yeah usually it's like you're at a party
or something and you know you know who loves like it comments yeah yeah calling
it you know loves impressions is Larry David yeah yeah he loves Shawn just did
some work with him his mind when you do an impression of anybody can you do Larry
David wait who would you who would you who would you who would you trust to do
you oh man everybody does I mean yeah I mean Fred does a really good meme which
is does he really his impression of me everybody's impression of me is like hey
then what's going on and fell and then his impression means I've always just
discovered a super famous band you know I started listening to his Bruce
Springsteen you always walk into my office and you're like you know he's
an almond brother pretty good do really quick do Jack Nicholson watching
Dateline I don't know if I do Jack Nicholson oh we're doing to a Jack
Nicholson but you know oh you know who Larry David likes is a Burt Lancaster Burt
Lancaster when he there's this this guy told me a story this made Larry David
laugh really hard was a guy worked for Burt Lancaster and he brought him some
chowder for lunch and he said that Burt Lancaster looked in the bag and looked
up at him and he went oyster crackers you forgot the oyster crackers
you know that's it's always fun I do it do it on set and it gets old fast no
actually nothing I've never had setups in between shots feel shorter than when
I worked with you on on Paul you're yeah it's just so fun to hang out yeah we
were do you remember when they blew up the house and Paul yeah yeah and they
said yeah you guys are gonna stand right here okay and we went okay and then me
and you were looking at each other you know what I want to go stand with a
special effects right the guy standing behind a barricade where we were standing
was a giant car or something land like massive debris landed where we were we
were like this isn't fun no yeah that was my god wait a second I love that
you're telling us because Jason doesn't remember and he by the way he he never
would have told us that story never never comes up now he also were you
there when the guys made us drink jalapeno stuff I like the like the I
think you're aren't you with us I might have been there's me and Simon Pag and
everybody and they're like hey you guys are Hollywood people you know like we
were in New Mexico and they were like oh these loud Hollywood people and they
were like hey here drink a shot of this and it wasn't it was pure jalapeno
juice it's not alcoholic because I was like oh I don't drink and they're like
that's it was jalapeno juice and we had to run and get milk and stuff it was a
way of like get the fuck out of here starting to sound familiar that was
like that was like that was fun let me tell you what was fun Bill was this
chat we could do two full episodes we haven't gotten into any of your of
your incredible voiceover work and all these animated films too I mean it's
it's on and on and on you're an incredible talent multi-dimensional or
whatever it is you're you're that and well done good to see you dude I'm
calling you for Dodger game soon yeah please all right have a good day bud you
but thank you bye bye bye bye all right I don't think there's anything that guy
can't do yeah that was funny stuff man it was dramatic he acts writes directs
produces high quality person friends I'm just kind of blown away that he went on
SNL and then just had all those characters like what are the odds of yeah
let's take a chance on Bill Hader and then you got all this stuff inside of
yeah it's so funny he's always got it's funny that he said that that he does that
appropriation thing because it is you see that in a nervous thing yeah where
he's just like oh and he starts doing the voice while he's I do that all the
time with I'll take people's laughter I'll start laughing like them yeah for
some weird reason and that'll be like my new laugh for a few weeks I think it's
like a common human thing I do find that I just yammer and yammer and yammer when
I'm socially uncomfortable I will I'll do the opposite of what you think you
would do which is just shrivel and go into a corner and be quiet I should just
start talking I just start speaking whatever I'm thinking of in my mind yeah
I mean I see I notice you at parties and you kind of do on this I see you talk
into somebody when you're engaging with like another person and you're just
talking at them and you're like asking them and you're just fucking and
they're thinking like oh at first they're like I get such a trace of
Bateman and then they want to fucking kill themselves do you blah blah blah
and you're like you're going but the question it's like the show you're
asking questions and it's on and on I know and and I just often they have a
look of what I would describe only is disgust yeah my family kicked me out of
the house a couple days ago but you know what Jay you with all that work on your
mouth that you've had you're talking so beautifully and I'm glad you finally got
that to fix which one was it called I think it was a bye then repeat it again
and say hi look at what will harmonizing I didn't love it it was too
early well my god you're kidding Smart List Smart List is 100% organic and
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