SmartLess - "Emma Thompson"
Episode Date: June 29, 2026Have you been working on your faces in the mirror all morning? It’s Emma Thompson. Barney’s, Boredom, and Haggis. “Get in the ice, you’re gonna love it!” On an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe t...o SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So hello, everyone, darling listeners.
It's Emma Thompson here, calling you from Blighty, the shores of Great Britain.
My microphone is propped up on, well, actually, one of the boxes has got my quite posh cards in that I recently invested in,
which had my name in tiny little, really sort of delicate letters.
And I felt it was sort of quite, I just thought it was classy.
Anyway, I may be wrong, of course. I often am. So the books are Truth and Repair by a woman called Judith L. Herman, author of Trauma and Recovery. You may be getting a sense here. Then there's Getting Over Your Parents, which is a very important book for anyone who is human. And then there's On Being Nice, which, of course, is a very important thing, but don't take it too far. That's what I always say. Oh, there was one other thing.
Welcome to Smartless.
I'm an actor and I have to be on camera today.
Oh.
Here, have you been working on your faces in the mirror all morning?
Yes.
Yeah?
Let's see. Surprise.
Surprise.
Let's see surprise.
Wow, great.
God, that's so good.
Now, one with the mouth closed?
One with the mouth closed?
Still rolling?
So, Sean, you shoot today.
That's how J.B. directs.
Yeah, I do right after this, actually.
J.B., is that how you direct actors?
Still rolling, still rolling?
And one with the mouth close?
Okay.
Good, good, good.
By the way, Ben.
Don't look right at the camera.
Don't look right at the camera.
Still rolling?
By the way, I just got that note.
I'm not even kidding.
Sean, can you close your mouth in the scene?
No.
I swear to God.
No.
Was it a dialogue scene?
Did they just want you to stop talking?
No, it was just like my character.
It was like, I can't believe what you're saying.
Like, I was just like, are you serious?
Like, kind of, I was serious.
I was like, and she's like, can you do it with your mouth closed?
Could you?
Could you do it with your mouth closed?
I tried.
I tried.
But you're like, I have dialogue.
They're like, yeah, we know.
Just mouth blows.
Yeah, I'm just propping my mouth to talk.
And you're going to go on background.
That's going to be your cue.
And just try thinking your lines on this take.
Here we go, everybody.
Wait, you know, I was doing this scene once years ago,
and Eli was there.
We were in France.
And I had to this long shot.
I'm walking down the thing.
And I get to the end.
And Eli goes, bro, your legs are really wide apart.
Okay, your gate's really wide.
And I go, oh, okay.
And I had to do it like five more times.
The whole time I'm just thinking about it.
I was walking.
Close your legs.
Which is the worst.
That's the way you walk.
I could do your walk in two seconds.
I know.
I know I walk.
Oh yeah,
you're a little bow-legged.
Yeah.
Like you just got off a heart.
Well, hang on.
This is not an excuse to just pile on.
I'm very vulnerable this morning.
I think I'm actually bow-legged.
I don't think, Will,
you're bow-legged.
You just happen to swing your legs around one another when you walk forward.
It's because I have long legs.
You do have long legs.
I was thinking about you watching all the hockey this weekend with you filling up
that goal crease.
Yeah.
You know, you need a tall guy in there, right?
Get that shoulder up into the high corners.
Well, back in the day when I played,
it was much more about getting on the ground
stacking the pads.
Oh, sure.
You know, stack in the pads.
Instead of a butterfly.
So, Will, with you being a Toronto fan,
are you keeping it with Canada
and rooting for Montreal?
I sure am.
Yeah.
I'm all the way.
Yeah.
And Sean, who's your pick to win this cup?
Between the two, between Canada and...
Over there at the...
Well, it looks like it's going to be Vegas.
Which is a little air.
It's a layer afterwards, but it's pretty exciting.
Will you stick, a couple of years ago, or three years ago,
Will had me record my picks.
Do you remember that?
Oh, yeah, for the Stanley Cup.
Yeah.
And so every week I would record the picks and why they would win.
Sean, I'm going to give you three guesses
what the name of the team in Las Vegas is called.
The hockey team.
Okay, let me ask you this.
Does it have something to do with the city itself?
It does not.
Yeah, it really doesn't.
Yeah, they're not called the chips or the cards.
Yeah, no.
What about...
It's Elizabethan.
I'll give you a hint.
It's Elizabethan, or it's like...
Well, I mean...
Kings, the Kings.
Are they close.
That's close.
I mean, it could be any of those...
The Golden Knights.
The Golden Knights.
The Golden Knights.
All right.
I tell you who's golden.
Oh, here he comes.
Will's got a lunchekeye.
You guys like a segue?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, she's golden in that,
I mean, you know, she's obviously won two Golden Globe Awards
and been nominated for like 11 or something.
Wow. Yeah, yeah.
And won two Academy Awards of the five that she's been nominated for.
Oh, no. Wait a second. Five nominations. That's...
And in fact, she's the sole artist thus far to be,
to have received an Academy Award for both acting and screenwriting.
Acting for Howard's End.
Screenwriting for Sense and Sensibility.
Emma Thompson.
Well, Emma Thomas.
Guys, it's just Emma Thompson.
I can't even get into her credits.
It's Emma Thompson.
Emma Thompson, no word.
Hello.
Incredible.
Hello.
Hello.
I'm nice to see you.
I literally didn't understand a word of any of that.
I love the people.
Oh, my God.
Three guys talking about hockey, it's fascinating.
I love your refugees on the floor in the background.
Yeah.
Oh, can you see them?
Yeah, sure.
That's my daughter and her boyfriend.
They can't hear you, which is just tragic.
is that all they can hear is me and they're used to me, so why don't you give them a chair to sit on?
They're going.
Why don't you can?
They're going.
Now, where are you?
Are you at their house or your house?
No, I'm in my office, actually.
I was looking behind Sean, he's got a very posh kind of array.
Oh, you should see it when it's a tax the awards back there.
There's awards.
There's like loads of statues and portraits and photos and books.
It's a mess.
And Jason's got like some sky, which is good.
And Will is in deep darkness, which given the fact that he's giving us kind of vampire voice,
it also works, you know.
It's all making more and more sense.
Yeah.
Now, we were making fun of Sean the other day because he had one of his awards behind him.
And I moved it.
For some weird reason on their Zoom frame, usually includes any awards that one may have won.
you don't have any awards behind you
and you've won tons.
Where are they all?
Yeah, where are they?
The Oscars are in the Levertree
because that just keeps them in their place.
The Globes and the Bafters and all that
are on a very high shelf somewhere
where I can't see them.
I don't know.
I think that's very British.
We have a friend that has an award
and she keeps it in the bathroom as well
and puts the toilet roll
on one of the extended limbs.
It's a holder.
Yeah.
That's taking it even further than me.
You know what?
I think that maybe you ought to go the other way,
which is have a table right in your foyer
as you walk into your place with a spotlight.
Yeah.
And just lean into it.
You know what I mean?
So they know what they're dealing with.
That's it.
Or you just put them in the doorway
like just so that when people come in,
they just trip up over them.
I'm so sorry, this is my Oscars.
Sorry.
I'll just move them.
Right this way.
Yeah.
Just on the floor.
Do come through. Do come through.
Would you like to freshen up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then have copies of them in the toilet so they can't get away ever.
And then another, you know, just have them everywhere.
Yeah.
So people just go, I need to leave.
Why not lean into it?
I think that that's a good idea.
Where is your office?
Are you in England or New York or Los Angeles?
I'm so in England.
But it doesn't feel like it today.
Actually, everyone is experienced.
a trauma, a London trauma.
So I'm in London, North London,
where I've lived all my life,
I've lived on the streets since I was six years old,
so that's 60, that's 16.
That's cool.
Yeah, weird, quite weird.
Anyway, suddenly, we got a heat wave,
which obviously has nothing to do with climate change.
Right.
No, it's all the hopes.
Why would we even suggest that?
But it's 35 degrees in London.
And, you know, things are just dying in front of you.
pets, household, appliances,
flour, everything is just wilting.
It's like, you know, Dracula's walked into the town.
And there's not a lot of air conditioning either, right?
We just can't, we don't know.
We don't have air conditioning here, don't be ridiculous.
Or ice.
We have three hot days a year.
Or ice.
But they're 36 degrees.
Or ice.
Right?
Although that's coming.
Emma, why is that?
That's coming.
Why is it that Europe, on the whole,
somehow sort of all made a consensus decision.
Take on Europe on this.
That carbonated drinks don't taste better with ice cubes.
I mean, it seems pretty clear that they do.
That's just objectively true, right?
But yet you have to ask for ice with a...
I sound like an ugly American here.
I apologize.
No, you're just obsessed with ice.
Americans have always been obsessed with ice.
You're obsessed with it.
I'm sorry, but you are.
When I first arrived in America,
and ice was just brought.
You were practically put in a fucking ice bath when you were right.
We were so excited about it.
Get in the ice. Get in the ice.
You're going to love it.
You're going to love it.
Everything came with ice.
You know, chicken parmesan came with ice.
What's going on here?
This is mad.
You're not obsessed with it.
And we don't have that obsession
because we don't have probably as much money
and our refrigerators are not as big.
and they don't produce ice.
We all get fridges that say they produce ice
and within a week they've broken down.
So what do you do to beat the heat?
You just lie face down on the pavement panting.
Stay still.
Hoping that some dog will come and whittle on you
and cool you down.
I mean, we don't have methods.
But here's the thing, you just kind of,
you just take it.
We don't need to always be in our perfect comfort zones
at all times.
That's the whole point of life.
There are things that happen.
in their days where you're hot,
and you do,
and there are days that are cold,
but it is true that in this country,
I'm Canadian, by the way, Emma, so I'm with you.
I know you're Canadian, well, darling.
But I think you guys are used to extreme temperatures
and we live in a temperate zone.
Yes.
And we're really not used to it.
And now, because of climate change,
look at my face.
I mean, I'm the same color as one of the stripes in my shirt.
It's tragic.
But, you know, it's like, we're just not used to it.
And it's quite, it's really weird.
Yeah.
Actually.
It's so hot.
How was it last summer?
Last summer it was super hot there too, right?
Europe had a huge heat.
Super hot.
And I was traveling on the tube.
Were you there?
I was there last summer.
He was doing his play.
Oh, man.
It was so hot.
And, and, like, to everybody's point, there's no air conditioning.
We were staying in a place that had an air conditioning.
But there was, and we were rehearsing in a place that was like a greenhouse with no air.
And what about the theater, Sean?
Did the theater have air conditioning?
No air conditioning in the theater.
No.
What?
No, there's no air conditioning in our theaters.
Come on.
Because we've never needed it before, and we haven't adapted yet to climate change.
I want to, Emma, you're talking about taking the tube.
What's your experience like when you take the tube?
Are you, in London, are you approached constantly and mobbed by people asking you questions?
No, no.
No, not at all.
Nobody takes any notice on the tube.
They're all looking at their phones.
But my guess is that when they do recognize you, it's something.
very charming and respectful
and they say which movie that they love
and stuff like she's a respected actor
as opposed to like a celebrity
like you see a celebrity out it's like
it's like a giraffe has escaped the zoo
and you've got to get a picture of it on your phone
yeah yeah you're right
I'm very lucky I think because it's the same in Europe
people have a relationship with
I don't know what it's like for you guys but you know
you must have this Jason that people have a relationship
with a particular role that you might have played,
or maybe a couple,
and we've done lots and lots of different things.
I think if, for instance, you're sort of an action hero,
I can imagine that for somebody like, I don't know,
Schwarzenegger, or Stallone, or Bruce Willis,
you know, then there's a very specific response every single time.
But for me, you know, I can pass,
not necessarily unnoticed, but certainly,
It's never been an issue, actually.
What's your least favorite kind of interaction with a fan?
Like when you're with your family or, I mean, because it's like there's some,
I always get embarrassed if it ever causes, like, a scene.
In other words, grabs the attention of others that might not otherwise know who I am or notice.
You know, like, it's great when it's just sort of.
mellow and quiet and
passing, right?
Yes, I mean, it's lovely and people will just
pass you and still keep walking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They go, love your work, bye!
Yeah.
It's lovely.
But when you're sort of buying
sausages with your daughter,
you don't really want them to come up and go,
can I have a selfie?
Selfies are interesting, aren't they?
How do you guys feel about those?
Right.
How do you feel about the,
do you feel that they're intrusive?
at all, what do you think?
Well, no, but what I have noticed is that
in the old days, it used to be
autographs, and if you didn't have a piece
of paper or a pen, then it was
just, hey, nice to meet you
and like your work, and it was a night.
But now everybody's got a phone, so even
if you don't want an autograph, right,
slash picture, you still sort of feel
obligated, well, I better take this, you know.
And so people kind of line up a little bit.
Anyway, I don't mean
to sound like I'm complaining. Do you ever say no?
No, never.
And I've been with people.
I don't, I mean, never is probably, I might, I'm sure I have, but I don't.
I do when I'm with the kids sometimes, when I'm with, when I'm with, if I'm with the kids or with the little kids, and if it's an adult asking, I'll say no thing.
I've never said no to a kid.
I have said that.
Yeah, but I've said sometimes.
I'm the same, Will.
I wouldn't ever say no to a child, but sometimes if I'm with the family, I'll say, would you mind awfully?
I, I just, I'm with my family.
And what's so interesting to me is that every time I have said no, and it's quite rare,
people have taken it so well because they seem completely to understand.
So in a way, I feel like they know what they're asking for,
that what they're asking for is a little bit, kind of, it's a lot to take a photograph
with somebody.
I have some famous friends that they say no all the time.
They never say yes.
And it makes me so uncomfortable that they're like, I just feel like that's a mess.
Because it's such an easy give in a way.
Right.
It's an easy give.
Have you ever gotten, hey, can I get a picture really quick?
And then they hand you the camera?
Because that's happening to me.
Right.
They want you to take a picture of them with their family.
Yeah.
Many times.
I've also many times got, oh my God, you're,
and then they say the name of a completely different actress.
So I have the choice.
I either say, yes, I am so-and-so.
I would love to give you a photograph.
or I say I'm 20 years younger
or I say, or I'm 20 years older
or I say no, she's dead actually
but then I just kind of move
gently on through.
You know what's funny?
I had the other day I had, I was sitting at a restaurant
and I had two interactions in a row back to back.
First of all, I had a woman come over and say
when I was sitting with my sister and my brother-in-law
and our buddy Eli, Canadian Eli,
and he said, this woman said,
so sorry to bother you
and I know that you're eating
and then proceeded to sit down on the bench next to me
and begin the conversation
at which point I was like well you're not that bothered
Did she grab a fry?
Then she left
and then this other woman came over
and she said my friend is a fan
but I'm sorry what's your name
and Eli goes Jason Bateman
she said thank you so much
she walked away
J.B I forgot to tell you that
it was so good
it was so good
I had a really wonderful
one. I was in Harry's Bar in Venice, which is, you know, the original Harry's Bar, and it was very
night. It was years and years ago, and a woman came up, she was in the other room, and she kept on
peeling off these massive smiles and grins at me and waving. And I thought, okay, so she must
know my work happens, is it? That seems fair enough. I'm in Venice. It's the festival, blah.
Anyway, she came over as she was leaving and said, I'm so happy to see you in here.
Oh, thank you, thinking, why?
And then she said, you know, I still wear those shoes.
I wear them all the time.
I love them.
You were so right.
I was wrong and you were right.
And I'm thinking, shoes.
And then she said, you remember, I'm staring at her thinking,
I can't work this one out.
I haven't made a film about shoes.
Have I?
Anyway, she said, you remember the fifth floor in Barnys?
So she thought that I'd sold her a pair of shoes
In the shoe department at Barnies
And she was thrilled to see me in Harry's bar
Because clearly that meant I was doing quite well for myself
Do you know what I mean?
That I was like in the same
I was in the same arena
As a woman who buys shoes on the fifth floor at Barneys
And that that gave her pleasure
And she needed to convey that to me
Which was very kind, I thought actually
And I said, I'm so glad they still fit
Good for you
Amma, do you miss Barney's
like I miss Barneys?
I do.
I miss Barney's a lot.
We were just talking about the other day, I miss it so much.
We were admitting to terrible shallowness,
but I do.
I really do.
By the way, both New York and L.A.
You're sad.
I miss them both.
Yeah, both places.
I love those places.
I love them.
What happened to it?
What happened?
How would it go belly up?
It's because people shop online now, right?
Is that right?
Yeah, yeah.
Everything, yeah.
I have to go to the shoe, right, direct to the...
shoe department at the point.
Oh, no, you just walking that man,
so you're walking the back way there on, like, what is that,
like 15-night Street?
You can walk in that back door.
I was talking about Los Angeles.
And there was one downtown, too.
Well, the original on 17th Street.
Yeah.
Oh, guys, keep saying numbers.
Same numbers, Mark.
Ah.
And we will be right back.
And now, back to the show.
Wait, Emma, so, listen, let's go back.
Let's go back.
Let's go back.
I love...
Let's start the interview.
This is a question.
This is where the answer.
You guys.
You guys, Emma's here.
We're the worst interviews of all time.
I'm so sorry.
And you're realizing that in real time.
And your regret is evident.
We...
So I didn't know that you were...
That you started...
Well, I started, but you were in the acclaimed footlight sketch group at Cambridge,
which has seen a lot of great performers.
So you have a history of sketch comedy, which is so amazing.
I didn't know that.
That's cool.
Oh, yeah.
I did that for years.
Would that be like the British lampoon type of thing?
Sort of, yeah.
It's an equivalent to sort of the lampoon in a way-ish.
But it's more of a sketch.
But, you know, it's like SNL.
SNL is basically what I would think of as review.
Right.
So back in the day, in the early part of the 20th century,
review was huge in our country.
And it was basically a collection of sketches, songs.
You know, just a kind of review.
Like a variety.
And a variety show, yes.
And that's what we did.
It's completely dead now.
We don't have review anymore.
But SNL is a form of review.
It really is.
It's sketches and songs and music.
You know, it's little bites.
And I started doing that absolutely.
With Hugh Lorry and Stephen Fry.
Yeah.
Did it for years.
In fact, I was going to be a comedian.
That was what I wanted to be because I admired Lily Tom.
I never knew that.
So greatly.
She's great.
And Jane Wagner, you know, the signs of intelligent life in the universe.
All of her beautiful characters.
Yeah, incredible.
I love that.
That's what I wanted to do for a living.
But you are still doing it because anytime there's a character that lends itself even slightly to comedy,
you take that and you expand that and you're always freaking hilarious whenever you choose to be.
Excellent timing.
That beautiful British dryness.
It's just, oh, it's so good.
I was going to ask you, these guys are going to make fun of me,
but I'm a massive Harry Potter fan.
Oh, no kidding.
Show us the wand.
I don't, I'm going to have it.
I really do have a wand.
But you as Professor Sibyl, right?
Professor Sibble Shulorloor, yeah.
Yeah.
That was...
She said, fatigued.
Speaking about, like, characters and, like,
Lilletamlin and Jane,
and all those things that Let Tomlin,
when I saw that it was such a,
and this is a compliment,
such a big character in a world that has big characters
with the, you guys, if you haven't seen it,
she has like Coke bottle glasses, like literally this thick
that make her eyeballs this big.
And she's neurotic and she gets possessed.
And it's such an incredible character.
How did you trust that that was,
that your choice to come in on the first day,
we talk about this, a lot of them.
With a huge swing.
Which a huge swing was going to be,
how did you trust that?
You don't really do.
How did you come up with the character?
Well, it's written in the books.
That she has those glasses?
I think she's definitely nearly blind.
Can't see anything.
And obviously deeply neurotic
because she can see sometimes
whether people are, you know, have the grim or not.
So, I mean, honestly, in my quite long career,
given the fact that I'm good 10 years older
than all of you guys,
I have done many, many parts.
and I've spent about 30 days on Harry Potter in my whole life.
So it's kind of a strange thing to talk about because it's become such,
this is this huge phenomenon.
And that's a lot of the time that's what people are very sort of drawn to that.
People stop, yeah.
I mean, I'm also, I've also seen saving Mr. Banks like 20 times,
and I've seen sensibility and remains of the day.
No, no, I wasn't getting at you.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just that...
Just to make sure.
You know what it's like, guys, when you decide to play someone.
You just have to fling yourself into it, don't you?
Yeah.
And hope that your instincts are right.
Yeah.
Well, there's always that thing.
Because we talk about that idea.
You know, I always say it's like when you first arrive and you're doing something,
you've made a sort of a choice,
and you want to make sure that you're not at a different volume than everybody else,
especially if you come in in the middle.
That's what I'm saying.
You know what I mean?
And you're like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true.
Is this, you know?
Am I in a different movie?
Yeah, am I in a different movie?
I came in, I did something this winter, and I sort of came in.
They'd been working for a while, and I thought, like, oh boy, and I had a real look going.
And I thought, at a real.
What was the look, what was the look?
He was sort of like a retired rocker, and he's sort of down on his luck.
And Pedro Pascal comes in, and he's my brother.
And I just, like, and I sort of worked on it with the director with Tony Gilroy, and I thought,
this is it. But at the same time, I thought, like,
you know, that first moment, like,
here we go, guys, and we're rolling. I'm like, boy,
there's better work. Yeah. It's so scary. But at least Tony had
seen it. Yes, he had. We had talked about it.
But still, we hadn't done it.
Do you know what I mean? So you don't get to rehearse, like us.
It's quite rare, isn't it, in film, that you get to rehearse?
Yeah.
Whereas in theater, you know, it's all about rehearsal.
Yeah. All about rehearsal.
I love it.
So sometimes I think it's a shame we don't get in.
we don't get enough rehearsal in-thole.
But, you know, again, it's a very mysterious business filming.
It is.
You never know what's going to come out, and the camera's so odd, don't you think?
A bit of a sort of witchy presence, I find.
Well, you also have that thing when you finish something and you go, and people say,
how was it?
You're like, I don't know.
Yeah.
You know, that's sort of in that period of waiting.
And, J.B., obviously, when you're in post and you're putting a film together,
you're living with it.
it's breathing with you all the time.
And so, like, you have a sense of it.
But everybody else kind of goes away.
Yeah, there really is always.
Emma, you've done some directing.
Yes?
No?
No.
I've never directed.
Have you not?
No.
Why did I feel like you had a couple of times?
But there is just that.
Why haven't you?
Let's press her.
Can you, Emma, can you check that you haven't?
Yeah, check.
We'll wait.
We'll wait.
I've interfered a massive amount.
That's not.
directing though. That's just taking part in a slightly upsetting way.
Especially with, I suppose, with the films with children in,
I've spent a lot of time with the children because that's important.
And the films I've made for young people,
I always consider children to be the sacred audience.
They're the people we need to make the best of our work for.
And they don't lie.
It's the first time that they see something.
It needs to be so, so.
God, you've done so many things over so many genres.
When you're speaking of like the children's films and stuff,
and so many things, and I was just, I was just,
I watched within the last year,
a film that you did a few years ago,
oh God, probably 10 years ago,
but it's based on one of my favorite books of all time,
which is Alone in Berlin.
Oh my God, you saw that.
You were like one of three people.
Of course. That book was incredible to me.
Oh, I love that book.
It's one of,
It's just such an amazing book.
It's one of the best second halves of a book I've ever read.
It's just mesmerizing.
And so then I realized I made a film.
So I didn't know that you had made that film.
And I watched it.
It was beautiful.
It was lovely.
It's such a great story.
Is it a World War II story?
It is.
It's almost a piece of resistance art in a way the book is in the film.
And how do you, because you do these things across so many different genres,
like how do you decide to do like a film like a film like a,
in Berlin, let's say, but just for instance,
is it always just material-based
or how you're feeling at a certain time in your life
and you're like, I want to do something that's kind of moody
or how do you go about that process?
I think you're right.
I think it's a little bit like meeting the right person
at the right time or reading the right book at the right time.
Things come to you at moments when perhaps you need them.
I think as artists, sometimes we need to play certain things,
it's just coming at us.
I mean, I think it's all sort of out there,
moving around us all the time.
And then things pass us by and we think,
oh, I wish I could have.
Oh, well, actually, no, that was wrong.
And then something comes in
and hits us right in the centre of us.
And you go, I really want to tell that story now.
And sometimes you don't know why,
but I always know if it's something I want to do.
I always know.
And it's not even, it's not something I could quantify, quantify in any useful way.
It's literally something will come across my bath and I go, oh, oh, that's a wonderful story.
I mean, alone in Berlin is, I mean, I'm kind of slightly obsessed with both wars, actually,
because I think they left traumas in our country in the UK that have never really been healed or addressed.
and so alone in Berlin for me is just this beautiful
I mean the book is incredible if you haven't read it, do.
It's Hafner, isn't it? It's his pseudonym, isn't it, Will?
Sebastian Hafner.
Hans Falada? Hans Falada, yeah, and his actual name is perhaps the other one.
I get that when I...
Sean, you go get a snack, but...
Three stooges, right, Sean, when that came,
Yeah.
Alma, have you ever taken apart a character, said yes to it?
Because that character has sort of a personality trait that you are thinking seriously about expanding in your own life.
And this might be a fun way to kind of play a little bit with that and try it on and maybe incorporate some of it at the end if it goes well.
Because I've done that a couple of times.
That's really interesting.
Really?
like you're like I want to be like I'm going to play this
smarty pants because I'd like
I'd like to be a little bit more like like like
like how I'm kind of reading this character
in this in this script and this would be a kind
of an easy little cheat
to try it off is that DTF?
Yeah but
but like yeah sometimes it's for the
for the director or the story
or the other cast or whatever but then sometimes
it's it's oh I kind of always
wanted to be kind of like that and
maybe I'll try a little bit here
have you ever done that? I think I
did that with Down Cemetery Road. I did a telly recently. It's a series called Down Cemetery Road,
which is a quote from a Philip Larkin poem. And it's a Mick Herron book. It's the Slow Horses
group. And I think I, I mean, not only do I love the author, but the character,
she's sort of my age, probably grew up in London during the slightly seamy 60s. I mean,
as a child in the 60s, you know,
I think about my childhood in London,
how really close
to the end of the war that was.
I mean, I was born in 1959,
so it was 14 years after the end of the Second World War.
It's nothing really.
It's like a blink of an eye.
And therefore...
Still rebuilding.
Yeah. Oh, God, yes, absolutely.
And still to a certain extent,
a little bit of, you know,
not having quite enough to eat.
and it was, I think, quite dark probably,
which is one of the reasons why alone in Berlin was interesting for me as well.
But I think that this character, Zoe, is not a good girl.
I was brought up to be very good, very obedient, very, not in a bad way,
but in a way that I think that many, many girls in my culture are brought up
to be always lovely and kind and loving and emolient and accepting and tolerant.
And I think that whilst there is a place for that in both sexes,
it is not appropriate for it to be just women who do that,
and nor is it sometimes appropriate for them to do it at all.
So, you know, actually this,
woman doesn't do it in any way.
She just, she's a very releasing sort of character because she's unapologetic and certainly not
polite.
And whilst she has kindness, certainly an empathy inside her, she uses it very judiciously
and not, as it were, just as a kind of scattergun technique to avoid conflict.
or being judged for not being, you know, a nice woman.
Sure.
Does she weaponize it?
What do you mean?
Like uses it, like it's calculated the way it's used or no?
No, it's quite natural.
It's quite natural.
It's not really a, it's just an instinct.
She's just managed.
Like I always feel when Sean's being kind of me,
is just manipulating me, you know what I mean?
Well, that's true, I think.
Yeah.
I mean, I think you're right about that.
Wait, Emma, you grew up, I was just thinking, so both your, as you talk about this,
and both your parents, correct me if I'm wrong, were actors, is that right?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah.
Yeah, so you grew up, like, this is a sort of a, you grew up in the family biz in a way,
is that right?
Yes, I did, but it was the family business of theater.
Yeah.
So my parents grew up at a time when there really was no television.
So they expected naturally as actors
My father was working class
from a southern town in our guildford
Had not very much education
Was very self-taught
Decided to become an actor
And leave that patch
I mean he was a proper lever of everything that he came from
You know his mother, my grandmother
Was a servant
She went into service when she was 16 years old
old and and indeed one of her children was born out of wedlock because she was raped by one of
her employers so her journey as a mother with these four children was really quite dramatic and
dad got out and went into the theatre and met my mother who's from Scotland very different
culture and background Presbyterians Scottish Presbyterian so very well people
Puritanical actually.
Yeah.
One can't really avoid that,
even though she's never been
able to resist good wine,
which is excellent.
But you know, there was,
I did grow up with this very interesting sort of combination.
But they did theatre,
and they expected to do Shakespeare in the provinces
and then radio,
and then television arrived.
We didn't have a television,
until I was, I don't know, eight
and it was black and white.
Mm-hmm.
You know, we didn't do that,
we didn't have that.
And now, it's so different.
Yeah.
It's kind of indescribably strange, actually.
You mean the amount of content that's out there
to distract you by?
The breadth of it all, sort of, in a way.
Yeah, yeah.
And the amount that must be produced.
Right.
What was your policy with your kids?
Did you, were you, were you,
you someone that was, screens are okay, television's okay, iPads are okay,
or were you like, no, it's reading or it's piano lessons or it's,
because I grew up at one of those households, very, very disciplined,
although there was plenty of TV too.
It was kind of a combo.
It was a good combo, I think.
We told my daughter the television was broken, which she believed for at least eight years.
Still broken.
It's still broken.
And then she danced in at the age of about nine
and said, I've mended it!
She just found the sodding remote.
Anyway, and we didn't allow her to have a phone
until she was at secondary school at the age of 13.
Yeah, smart.
So iPads, oh God, sometimes when we were driving,
we live in Scotland as well,
we were driving to Scotland,
and iPad was a wonderful thing.
You need a film on.
And then they could watch.
a film, which actually
I don't feel guilty about it. If it's a good
film, it's a lovely way
to spend two hours. Because I used to be stuck in
the car for eight hours as we were driving to Scotland
with nothing to do but stare at the lamp
post going by and do
terrible sort of... But it's good for the imagination
though. It's really good. Think about all those hours.
And boredom's good for the imagination as well, Will.
I'm friends with Sean. We've lost our
relationship with being bored.
Managing boredom is a talent.
Okay, here's my question.
To all of you, when was the last time
you were actually bored.
This weekend.
Really?
Why?
How?
Well, just because I was inside the whole time, it was raining,
and I ran out of a good TV.
I had done all my homework.
But then guess what happens?
You get truly relaxed.
I really feel like true relaxation lives somewhere next door to boredom,
and that's when naps happen,
and clarity of mind,
and all your priorities get in the right order.
and you can think about what's kind like it's a great managing boredom embracing boredom
seeing the virtues of boredom is something that I just don't think that my my kids their
generation is uh is understands or is is friends with they can't even write an elevator
without looking at their phone yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i've actually i've actually said to
my both of my sons at various points you cannot walk down the stairs looking at your phone
That has to be something that is independent of your phone.
This is absurd.
But I will say, you know what?
I was talking about this with a friend recently.
I'm never bored.
Even if I'm just sitting there, I don't know why.
I never feel bored.
Right, I don't mean it as a pejorative.
I just feel like it.
It's like you're not, we're all so, I think most people in the world today
are highly functioning, like we're just like,
to manage 50 different things at the same time
just because of just sort of global productivity.
But there is a great...
God, you're always talking about productivity.
It's unbelievable.
You never shy away from productivity.
Sean, I was just thinking, Sean, I wonder...
When you hear Emma talk about growing up in the theater
and her parents...
Hi, Sean, by the way, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm such big fans.
Do you wish, in a way, when you hear about people
who grew up in the theater and stuff,
Do you feel, knowing your, you know, how much you enjoy that,
do you ever feel like, oh, I wish I'd grown up in that kind of environment?
Yeah, all the time.
Do you?
Like, well, even Jason, like, growing up.
Growing up around Hollywood and in it, or Emma growing up in it, you know, like, what?
When did it start for you, Sean?
It was high school, right?
Yeah, yeah, high school, well, junior high.
I was, I worked backstage, I worked the light, not the light.
It was just one light.
And it was.
Yeah, it was one switch.
Seriously, it was on and off.
And it was, clamp.
our guy. We got our guy. I was like, I think I can do that. And it was Calamity Jane, the musical
Calamity Jane. Oh, yeah. And yeah, that was junior high, and then high school. And then I was
nervous about telling my family I was in theater because it wasn't associated with sports. And I thought,
what were they going to think? And so my oldest brother was like, hey, dude, it's okay, bro. Like,
I play football. I have makeup on underneath my eyes, the black marks underneath my eyes.
Just like, you wear makeup. And I was like, oh, that's really sweet. And then other things happened.
Well, let's not get into that.
But yeah, I always, you know, I was, I don't know that I love to do it anymore.
I mean, the grind of theater is something, right, Emma, that you just have to,
that the repetition on your body and your brain is something you kind of have no choice but to outgrow because of the endurance.
We'll be right back.
And back to the show.
What was the last theater production you were part of, Emma?
because you've done so many.
Well, I haven't actually.
I've mostly done film.
But the last thing I did was something I, again,
you knew we were talking earlier
about things that you just can't say no to.
They asked me to do Sweeney Todd.
Steve Sondheim, Sweeney Todd with Bryn Terfel,
and we did it with the New York Philharmonic
at the Lincoln Center.
Wow.
We did five performances there,
and then we did two weeks at the Dominion here.
When was this?
How cool.
It was 10 years ago maybe.
Oh, wow, wow.
Yeah, and...
You'd be great, and I'm sure you were phenomenal.
It's a perfect part for you.
Absolutely.
You mean the psychotic, like, woman who kills people and puts them into highs.
No, quick, quick.
Sean, Sean, Sean.
Oh, my, God.
You've got to let Sean finish, Emma.
No, the comedy of it.
I'm sure you nailed it.
No, I'm sure I was, did way too, went way too far.
But anyway, the point was, we were on stage,
with the New York Philharmonic.
And one of the things that really I loved about it
was the sort of cross-pollination of different art forms
that you had a whole orchestra on stage that you could act with.
So, you know, you were acting while the timponist was behind you
making these amazing noises.
And they loved it as well.
The orchestra adored it because you were in amongst them.
And I think that we silo music, classical music in particular,
and acting in the theatre, you know, which sometimes can,
and just make people feel a little bit superior,
which is not the case.
It's just acting in the future.
And then there's television acting,
which is television acting.
You've got to be really clever with the cameras.
If you're a good actor, you're a good actor, you're a good actor,
whatever you're doing.
I love that.
I can't bear all that snobbery,
which was very much alive when my parents were coming up.
So, yeah, that was the last thing I did.
And I, oh, I mean, it was an amazing feeling.
like, I don't know whether you guys have ever had this,
but when you do something that uses every single cell of you,
nothing is left behind.
You know how you can come on, particularly to do a job that's a short job
and you're doing a small part or a cameo role,
and you're using a tiny little bit of your palate,
and you have to be careful not to overdo it.
That's very much to your point, Sean, about Professor Trilorni.
It had to be a very specific, small thing,
and it had to be right, but it had to be big as well.
But this had to be right.
It had to be enormous.
And it used absolutely everything I had.
And I had such a wonderful time doing it.
But my God, it was...
That's exhausting.
It took me nine months to learn it.
And then I did it for like 30 performances.
Yeah, I hear Sonheim is almost as difficult to Shakespeare, right?
Sometimes.
I mean, you've got the music part of it as well.
Yeah, finding those notes and those chords is really hard.
I would say harder, yeah.
Harder than Shakespeare.
Shakespeare makes it easy for us.
He's like a wonderful old sailing boat you can get into
and just sail into the sunset.
Really?
Because he's so reliable.
Well, speaking of writing, you, I mentioned that you're the only
performer to have won for acting and writing,
and you wrote sense and sensibility, and how did that happen?
I didn't know that either, and so it's delightful to know it.
Jane Austen wrote it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've plagiarized mercilessly.
Yeah.
Oh, it's not a radio.
No, no.
But how did that happen with the Great Ang Lee, right, directed?
With the Great Ang Lee?
Actually, it happened kind of interestingly because, like I used to do comedy,
that was my thing, that is what I wanted to do.
And I was very lucky because I worked with a wonderful comedy producer.
He produced the first all-black comedy series in the UK, Desmond's.
And then he worked with an awful lot of black and Asian and female comedians,
He was, I suppose, quite revolutionary in that sense.
And I made a comedy series with him.
And one of the sketches I wrote was about a young woman coming back from her honeymoon
to see her mother with something on her mind.
And she starts to talk to her mother about a small little woodland hairy creature
that lives in her husband's lap that he's drawn attention to on several occasions
that appears to be attached
and also changes shape sometimes
so that she just doesn't want to touch
or have anything to do with.
And so the sketch is about sexual ignorance.
So it's a feminist sketch
about the fact that women weren't allowed to know about sex
but then they were just sent off into the while.
They were married off without any kind of help whatsoever.
And can you imagine coming across a penis for the first time
and then seeing it become erect in front of your very eyes
and not know what it was.
That's what we put people through.
Anyway, so the sketch was about that.
And I think it was quite funny.
And our producer, Lindsay Duran,
the extraordinary Hollywood producer
who actually started her work with Spinal Tap,
excuse me, literally one of my favorite films ever.
Sure, for sure.
So she wrote to me and said,
I've seen your sketch about the Victorian penis.
I wonder if you would fancy adapting a Jane Austen novel.
I thought, interesting.
Interesting segue.
Wow.
I said, well, I'll give it a go.
I gave it a go.
Amazing.
Now what about other screen plays afterwards?
Forgive my ignorance.
Is that something that you...
No, not at all.
I've written...
We've been forgiving your ignorance.
Written loads that haven't been made, actually.
But I wrote...
I've written a couple of kids.
films, one called Nanny
Murphy, who's a strange,
sort of warty, witchy
woman.
And actually, we've
spent 10 years writing the musical of that
which is coming into the West End next year.
No way. Wow.
Who wrote the music for that?
Gary Clark, who wrote the music for
Sing Street, which
was a lovely
sort of beautiful Irish film.
So he's
one of those people.
who just can write songs.
He spent years and years in Nashville,
and you just think about the music industry,
is just amazingly full of these people who...
He was in a band, and it was kind of going,
but he didn't like the fame, he didn't like the glare.
So he retreated and started to write songs.
And he's written songs with...
I mean, so many of the greats,
he's just a wonderful songwriter.
And we have written about a billion songs,
cut a billion songs.
We've been writing it for so long.
I gave him a couple of touchstones.
I said, think Tom Waits, Swordfish Trombone.
And also, do you know a gang called the Tiger Lillies?
They're quite a couple of them.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that was the kind of thing.
I was like a Victorian steampunk slightly dark, you know,
a little bit on the circus side but not, you know, like dark.
That sounds great.
So that's what we've been doing.
That's really cool.
Yeah, I can't wait for that.
I would be remiss if we didn't mention your new project,
The Sheep Detective.
The sheep detective, what is that about?
Craig Mason wrote that.
The great Craig Mason.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I love Craig.
J.B., your old buddy.
He wrote Chernobyl.
He's such a wonderful, wonderful man.
And then he adapted a book where, yeah,
it's about a shepherd who gets murdered and his sheep solved the crime.
I mean, that's it.
That's the log line.
You just go, yes, I'll be in it.
I'll play a sheep.
I'll play anything.
I'll play a broom.
I'll play anything.
Because it's such a good premise.
And this is starring Hugh Jack.
Sounds like a great yarn.
Guys, sorry, sorry.
Nice.
Good.
I noticed that.
No.
Thank you.
I hear this is a really, really good film
that parents would like as well.
Because it is made for the kids, right?
It's you and, and, uh,
the delightful Hugh Jackman.
Is that right?
Am I right about that?
Yeah.
Did you have to work with, you have to work with some photorealistic animals or some, or is it?
Photo-realistic actors?
No, I, no, we, actually, I was only on it for about three weeks.
I'd just done a thriller in Finland.
And then I was going on to the telly, so I sort of kind of dropped in for three weeks with these lovely bunch of folk.
and that, it was a gorgeous.
Yeah, it sounds like a gorgeous type of location, right?
Where did you shoot that?
Oh, God, now you're asking me.
I mean, it was in England.
It was in England, okay.
And actually, we shot the second Nana and Fee in the same village
because it's a kind of picture perfect village.
And I can't remember what it's called.
Well, most importantly.
I think it's called Hambledon, actually.
I think I've actually remembered that, which is a fucking miracle.
Was it?
Given that I'm literally 100.
175 degrees here.
Yeah.
My brain's boiling.
Was it close enough to your house
where you could sleep in your own bed
or did you have to stay in?
No, so not.
So, so not.
No.
Okay.
That never happens.
Never.
You know what I love about England
singing at an English hotel,
especially a small English hotel.
It's an English breakfast.
I adore an English breakfast.
Who doesn't?
Which is what?
Well, there's different kinds.
So, Will, what do you get?
You like the little sausages?
I don't, yeah, I shy away from the black puddings.
but I like eggs and sausage.
What's black pudding? I've never had black pudding.
Yeah, what's in a black pudding?
Haven't you, Sean?
Molasses?
It's pig's blood.
No.
No, it's not.
It's congeal.
It is. It's pig's blood mixed up with various sort of spices and grains.
Oh, my God.
It's like haggis.
Because I'm half Scottish and a haggis is a sheep's stomach.
Oh, my God.
The sheep's stomach is filled with all the sort of awful,
which is all chopped up with various bits of.
Did somebody just make a sheep noise?
Oh, my God.
Well, why do we have these kinds of foods over there?
Is it because we were poor?
The country's so old that you had to figure out
how to make stuff you could eat out of what was available, right?
This was before.
But also you didn't waste anything.
Right.
So if you killed a cow, you ate its fucking stomach as well.
And its tongue in the whole.
The only thing you didn't eat was its hair.
Yeah.
You know, and it's horns.
You had to work out how, if you had an animal and you killed it,
because you don't forget, it's really quite recent that the country's,
I suppose Scotland in particular was poor, very poor.
Yeah.
Until recently, and in many areas, it's still poor.
Yeah.
Now, do you, the longest time, the longest I've ever spent in England
is just recently last year for like three or four months.
What were you doing with there, Sean?
Do you get, Emma, do you get, are you as entranial,
still by the charm of the country
and everything around it in the history?
Are you just kind of like, it is what it is
and yep, there's Big Ben, there's the thing.
I'm so used to it
that it's hard to appreciate it anymore, or do you still
feel like, wow?
Oh no, I'm much more in trans than I was when I was young.
I mean, I just adore it.
I'm a Londoner, but I'm also a Scot.
It's my mother Scottish.
So for me, the most beautiful countryside
is in Scotland.
and Scotland is wild and it's very, you know, it's unheld, it's unbound,
and it's full of the most extraordinary energies.
And London is also, you know, a very precious place
because everyone, this great teeming bowl of people living in this massive city,
generally speaking quite peacefully.
Yeah, I love my city.
I'm not as familiar.
with England, actually, the countryside.
But the countryside in England can be quite breathtaking.
Yeah, to Yorkshire in the north or Northumberland.
Or, you know, we were shooting all over those.
We shot in Cornwall last year, and I'd never really spent any time in Cornwall.
And I just wanted to go and live there.
It was so exquisite.
And still full of character and community, actually.
You know what?
Might I suggest a non-scripted show, Emma,
where you go around and rediscover England?
There you go.
We're going to produce it.
Listen, we're going to pitch it to you.
We're going to get in touch with your people.
You all have to come with me.
Yes.
I'm a devoted anglophile.
These guys know.
And the sheep go with you and comment on a sheep come with.
And then at the end of the show, we eat them?
Yes, of course.
Every piece.
Every piece.
And Jason takes the stomach.
Jason takes the stomach.
You all have to take one particular really unpleasant part,
like the pancreas, and then you invent a really good little recipe just for that part.
By the coat, by the way, I'm going to put this out there.
I'm going to put this out there.
There is somebody listening right now, maybe over in the UK,
who's going to say, like, this is a great idea.
And you are going to get an incoming call about doing, right?
I would watch the hell out of Emma going through England.
and discovering villages in different places.
Like Stanley Tucci and Italy.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
I'm an EP on it already.
I'll just go around saying endlessly,
you want some gain.
That was my favorite phrase.
You want some gain.
You want more of me?
That was Jason.
As he was said, you want some gain.
It just sounded so.
Ooh, yes, I think I do want some gain.
That's hot podcast.
What are you going to suggest next?
Emma, we have taken up too much of your time.
It's been, it's probably been an hour.
What an absolute delight to have you here.
That was real fast.
I hope you get to cool off and jump in a pool.
It was fast.
We could have gone on forever.
No, I'm literally going to go.
I put the blooming scocher thing on in the garden.
I'm going to go and stand in it now.
I don't think we got to any questions even.
On the next time you come on the show,
we're actually going to ask you some questions.
On the next, Marlis.
Yeah.
That was so lovely, guys.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you for doing so much for your time
and for everything that you do.
and we're just such fans as just...
Yeah, we are.
Well, right back at you, every single one of you, I love you deeply.
Likewise.
Thank you, my dear.
Make sure you pick your kids up off the floor and pick...
Yeah, absolutely.
No, they've gone.
They've long gone.
They're lying face down on the wet lawn.
All right, Annie.
Fairly well.
Thanks, Alma.
Bye.
Guys, Emma Thompson.
Have you seen Remains of the Day?
Yes.
Yes.
I mean, I've seen that so many times.
How many films do you think she's done?
I bet she's done 65 movies.
Well, what's better than that?
How many great films has she done?
I know.
Like so many.
64.
So many incredible performances.
Yeah.
And just so different in every genre.
Effortless.
Yeah.
And I meant it.
She is, there's always, there's some sort of cheeky little wink always to each one of her characters.
Oh, you find her to be a little cheeky, do you?
It's a bit cheeky.
She's a bit cheeky.
No, she also, she also emanates kind of like she's going to take care of me.
Like, she's my mom.
Yes.
You know, and I like that.
I want her to take care of me.
I'm going to send her my number.
I mean, thinking about it, Love Actually,
forgot about that massive hit that everybody's still.
It's just, oh, God.
I think you squandered an opportunity there, Will.
You really could have gone down an incredible memory lane of parts and movies and stuff.
And said, you're fucking talking about haggis and God damn.
Because we're just having a conversation, man.
We're just visiting, weren't we?
Yeah, we're just having a quick little visit, weren't we?
We're not journalists.
No.
Yeah, we'll have to have her back.
Yeah, you know, we're just...
Love action.
We're just simple guys, you know, we're not very smart.
In fact, we're smart less.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
So, see, so right there, I was just introducing a new sign-off instead of buy.
Okay.
We work on some sort of way to just say, yeah, I guess we're just kind of smart less.
And then it's over.
But that's the only one you can use then.
You can only say we're a spotless.
Right, but you've got to somehow work that into the sentence.
Yeah, but that could just be like...
But that came out of this process of us doing that.
Do you know what I mean?
Like that's a natural progression.
In a way, it's almost...
You call it like a buy product.
A buy product of the show.
Bye.
Smartless is 100% organic and artisanly.
handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbico.
