SmartLess - "Joe Buck"

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

We go Buck wild with strong-shouldered sports commentator Joe Buck. From dads to daddy issues and hair transplants to high-intensity potty breaks, we run the gamut with this vocal hero. Plus Will comes up with Joe's new catchphrase!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So, Sean, before we get Will in here to really screw things up, let's go ahead and let's introduce the show. Oh, do like a little thing like that. Yeah. So, I mean, so I'll take this one, right? Because everybody can do it really smooth, right? Yeah, go. Hey, welcome to SmartList.

We've got a great show coming up. This isn't a jazz, it's not a jazz show, though. It's more of like a comment. Well, hey, welcome to SmartList. It's pretty good, but it sounded a little too Arnett. Oh. Can you take some Arnett out? Okay.

Hey, welcome to SmartList. Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes. Smart.

Yes. Smart. Yes. You know, I've been listening to the podcast and it's not terrible. Welcome. It's not terrible. Will, you're doing great. Thank you.

Sean, we knew you were going to be fantastic, but Will, I got to say, you're doing really, really, really good work. You seem to be in a real slot. The voice sounds great. The questions are always snappy. Sean, you're providing incredible leadership. Let me ask you something. Go self-assessment.

Go self-assessment. Just quickly, Sean, hold on to that question. I've got issues with myself, but I feel like a lot of it can be re-recorded, so I don't feel so bad about it. Did you listen to the show? I have listened to the past couple, and it's not terrible, as I said. What do you do when you're listening to it? Are you driving or are you at home?

I'm driving and I'm giggling and looking kind of psychotic at red lights. I've listened to it as well when I'm driving and I've gone, and then I hear somebody say something, and I think, oh, it'd be really great to say this right now, and then one of us says it. I had that same thought. I was like, oh, boy, I wish I would say something. And then, boom, I said the exact thing, like, huh, I guess my brain works the same as it worked like a month ago.

I don't need to play it back because I was there. That's the way I was thinking for, like, all the way up until a couple of weeks ago. How about that? Yeah, I was stuck in some real traffic, and I was like, huh, let's find smart lists. And then I got a little embarrassed because I pulled my car in a valet guy took it, and the smart list thing was on my radio thing, and I was like, uh-oh, this guy's good. I did the same thing. I listened to it.

How do I change this? I did the same thing, and I pulled in, and I thought, oh, my gosh, and I ripped my phone off, turned off Bluetooth, clumsily, and I'm like, please don't, you know. People are going to love us or hate us for talking about how much we love ourselves right now. I didn't say I love it. I just said I'd listen to it. So all right, so we, is it Justin Baton?

No, it's Jason. It's Jason. God. It's Justin. I know. You know, a lot of people do make, before we get into your guests, one thing I do want to say, people do make that mistake of, I've been privy to it where people go, Justin, I'm a big fan, right?

I mean, it happens quite a lot. It happens about once a week. Why do they not know Justin? I think it's a combo between my name and my sister's name, Justine. Right. Justin, well, I think you've called me Justin a half dozen times. That's not true. That's not true.

I did say, when you got your, Jason got his big star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame a couple years back. And they misspelled? It says Justin Bateman on the show. No, you're joking. I am joking. It's written in some. He is joking.

But I did say, when he asked me to say a few words, I was amongst a few people who said a few words, and I did say, you know, I remember, I said the first time I really took notice of Jason was years ago, I was watching Family Ties and I see Justine Bateman and I said to myself, man, I wonder if she's got a brother. See, I have zero recollection of that because I was in such a blackout during that ceremony. Like that's a crazy. It was fun. It was fun for us.

And the girls were, your girls were there and you're in Amanda and just all you bunch of friends. It's an honor. It was neat. It was definitely cool. And we were able to celebrate you. Yeah. You know, it was nice.

I did not want Sean there because he was on the list and you crossed him off. What was the thing? And I showed up, but they kept me behind the barriers and they kept you behind the barrier and then you got arrested briefly. It was close enough. It was close. Okay. Wait, wait, wait.

We are liquid last thing. Where is it located? It is on Hollywood Boulevard. I believe it is east of Vine on the north side of the street. I've not been there since since the ceremony because I'm no driver. You never do a drive by with your with your darkened windows. You never do a drive by a nice track. I told the driver to slow down a little bit about next time I get real sad.

I should just go there and just sit crisscross apple sauce on it and we know where to find you. Oh my God. It goes missing. We know where he is. Yeah. Just fill the bucket a little bit. Hey, gang.

Today. Yes. Oh, we have a fellow we could really learn from. Okay. Now we're trying to entertain folks with talking. Sure. We are. Okay.

Well, this guy is a professional talker. He's a respected talker. He's an awarded talker. Seven Emmys. What? For talking. Wow. What?

His subject. Get ready, Sean. Sports. And not just any sports. I'm all in. These are top sports. This man has been the play by play announcer for an astonishing six Super Bowls. Cliff Trisdale.

And 23 World Series. He's smart. He's handsome. He's a pilot, opera singer, and glass blower, but a professional husband, father, and friend. America, this is your own Joe Buck. No. Joe? Joe Buck.

I even know who Joe Buck is. Get in here. Joe Buck. Sean, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry. Listen, Sean's got questions. I got questions for you. I know who you are.

Wow. He does. It's been my nightmare since I, you know, begged Justin to come on this and it's been my nightmare to be revealed. And then all of a sudden, everybody's like, wha, wha, wha. No. No, no, no. No, Joe.

Here I am. Wow. I'm sorry. I have noticed from listening to the show a couple of times that I end up talking. Your own show, you mean? Our own show. I started out talking about our guest's appearance. And it's a little weird, but I can't help it because I'm looking at you.

Look at the shoulders on you. Now we don't usually see those under the suit, but what do you build? Houses on the weekends? I do. Yes. Good for you. I lift very heavy things. You got a little workout routine there?

I do. Yeah. I'll throw some weight around. Did you blast back some buys today? I did not. I barely just crawled out of bed. I'm in Mexico. It is.

We are recording this on a Saturday morning. Yeah. I realized that when I'm on with the likes of you, Saturday morning doesn't really feel any different than a Tuesday morning or a Wednesday morning. No, it's Saturday every day for us. So yeah, last night I went to a wedding. I'm in Mexico. So is that why you're in Mexico because of the wedding?

We're actually between homes in my hometown of St. Louis. So we're waiting for a new home to be ready and my wife of seven years and our three-year-old twin boys are now down here in Mexico with me for the better part of five weeks. Why? So we're just kind of hanging out down here. Wow. Okay. So you have a five-week wait on the new house.

Congratulations. Yeah. So you have, was it just coincidence that you knew somebody that was getting married down there? Or are you a bit of a crash-er? Total coincidence. Total crash-er. Yeah.

So Sean Payton, the head coach of the New Orleans Saints, it's a name drop. An incredible running back, by the way. Yes. Different guy, but close and I know you're kidding and I found out I saw these people around the place where we have our house here and I said, well, what's everybody doing down here? Well, we're here for Sean Payton's wedding. So I text Sean Payton, I said, hey, what time's the wedding?

What do we wear? What, you know, what, what kind of attire is it beach casual? I'm sure. Ha, ha, ha. Just kidding. Have a great wedding. Good luck to you guys. And then it was, you got to come.

And then it was, then I felt horrible because he's over the top. I mean, I feel so bad. I didn't know you were down here. So we ended up going last night. My wife and I, and we basically did crash Sean Payton's wedding. But let's be honest, Joe. Hi, Joe. Good to meet you.

And I'm a fan and I want to get into all that, but let's be honest about the original text. I hear you're getting married. And even though it's a joke, let's be really, let's get real for a second. You wanted the invite. I did. Yeah. Okay.

This is anathema to anything I would consider enjoyable. A wedding, isn't a wedding something that most red-blooded knuckle-dragging males want to try to avoid attending? That's true. But it's 52. It's been a long time. Sean's 57. This is like the next go-around.

I've had my own second go-around. So this was kind of a different wedding. The actual ceremony lasted seven minutes. And then it was down onto the beach and everybody's having fun. Joe, you got to know that Jason, we've been through this before, Jason asked me not to invite him to my wedding and I didn't. And then 10, 12 years later, it's like, I can't believe you didn't invite me to your wedding.

I'm like, no, you asked me not to invite you. Yeah. It's like writing no gifts on an invite and you expect people to bring something. Wait, why, J, why do you not like weddings? Well, because they're just stiff, stodgy, scheduled, awkward, long. You know why? Because it's not about him. And I don't drink anymore.

There it is. There it is. If I drink, boy, I'd be a pastor or a reverend or who's the person that does the officiating? Either one. Either one works. So what I'm saying is because we went to a wedding and because my wife and I do drink, this morning came early. So I had to clear the cobwebs.

I have to, right now, the three year old twins are bound and gagged in the back of our house so that they don't make noise on this podcast. Sure. Well, just don't worry. It came early as Jason's nickname. Now, listen, let me ask you a question because you've got the kids there and you went to the wedding and we know Jason hates a wedding. And it brings up a thing that I'm avoiding today myself.

There were three kids' birthday parties I could have gone to today that I was invited to, two of which are for one-year-olds. I have a longstanding rule. If you invite me to a one-year-old birthday party, it means you don't like me because I think, first of all, the fucking kid's not going to remember. And I don't want to, you know, sorry. The child... Well, I'm saying that to my wife all the time.

This is her first go around with kids. I have 25 and 22-year-old daughters. So the idea of making it even a point to run back home if we're out of town or if we're working to go to the actual boy's birthday on the 26th of April, that doesn't really count until they're, until they can count. That doesn't count until they're at least six and they can go, oh, today's my birthday. They have no clue. They have no clue what's happening.

And I think that there are a lot of people are going to say, oh, what a grumpy, what a grumpy dude. But I really... Yes, I am. Same here. I believe that we should not have to go to children's birthday parties before they know... Realize what they are.

I completely agree. Even if they're on your own kids. I agree. This reminds me of something somewhat depressing you guys and listener, not super related. But did you know that, like, I'm 52, right? In January, I'm going to be 53. But that means that I have finished the 53rd year. Like I'm in the 53rd year right now.

And in January, when you say, hey, happy birthday, you're 53, it means I just finished the 53rd year. That's a good point. Okay. Do you know that? Like when you turn one, you have lived one year. Will, don't look at me like you've never thought of this before. I've thought about it.

Because you haven't. Of course I have. Your brain doesn't work as fine as mine does. I think it's interesting. Of course I have. No. My mom, my mom, who is a lot. She goes, she'll say all the time, like, you're now in your 51st year.

And I'm like, yeah. So she's bright. Not you. Yeah. Well, yeah. So you're saying that just adds to your depression because you're actually one year older than you're saying. Actually a full year older.

Yeah. Joe, how young a guy are you? I am the same age as you. All right. I'm in my 53rd year. Okay. And so you've been at this a long time, a very long time. When you first thought about becoming a broadcaster, obviously it was at a time probably much younger

than anybody starts thinking about a career because he's like third trimester. When I was in the third trimester, I was on my way out and I was like, I want to do what my dad does. You came out with a microphone in your hand. So for Sean and for Tracy, his dad, Jack, will broadcast her for over what, 60 years, I want to say? Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Definitely over 50. He was with the Cardinals for 50 years. And how awesome that you followed in his footsteps and I think one could easily argue surpassed his accomplishments. Now, I say that too is grave once a year. We're very, very soon after the anniversary of his passing and that was back in 02. And I usually make a pilgrimage out there and go, hey, you'll kid one up. Look at me.

Look at me. Is that something that you felt that you, did you feel like you didn't have any options because you just wanted to do what dad was or did you have passion for it at a young age? No, I had passion for it. I think the answer to that is no matter what your parent does, and I was really close. So I can joke about that stuff with my dad because I was one of the few people that could actually make him laugh.

So he took me on road trips when I was five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 years old. I was in every National League city by the time I was 12. I was like his little traveling partner and he and I were more best friends than we were the typical father and son. So to answer the question, I think when your parent does something that as a kid, if you're close to that parent, you see they love your natural inclination is to go, well, man, my dad can't wait to go to work every day. That's what I want to do because my, and then when it's something so fun, I mean, I

spent every summer down at Bush Stadium and being on the, you know, inside of the ropes and playing catch in the outfield and shagging fly balls during batting practice and bat boing and doing all that other stuff. And then sitting in the booth all night and basically going through a master's class every night of the summer, listening to the actual radio broadcast and a headphone, watching my dad do it, watching the game myself. It just was, I was immersed in it to the point where, yeah, I just didn't want to be anything else.

I just wanted to be him. I get that. And what about meeting some of these, these early heroes of yours, these athletes? Was it, what about the saying, never meet your heroes? Did something go south at any point or was it all great? There were many times when I was nine, 10, 11 years old and we would walk by the hotel bar and I would see a player with somebody that didn't look a lot like his wife, curled up around a drink and I'd be like, dad, just put your head down, kid and keep walking.

That's what he would say. And that was a pretty good Jack Buck. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that came, you know, that's when kids would ask him, you know, how do you, how do you get into broadcasting, Mr. Buck? I want to, I want to be a broadcaster. I love the cardinals.

I love what you do. Start smoking. That was his advice, which I, I don't, I don't condone. Did you smoke a bit growing up? I never smoked. I was the squarist, dorkiest kid and I think the reason why is I didn't want to, there were so, my dad's time at home was so fleeting during the high points of the summer and the fall when he was doing NFL games, I didn't want to waste that time being in trouble.

So not that, you know, I, I didn't want to, oh, mom found Joey with a pack of Marlboro lights and now I'm grounded. I didn't want to waste any time that I could have with him out of the house when he was home. So I just didn't do, I didn't really get in trouble as a kid. So him being out of the house so much, I would imagine just about every weekend for six months. Do you feel, and I'm projecting here, cause like my, my mom was a stewardess for Pan Am for 30 years.

So her being. Flight attendant. Flight attendant nowadays. Yes. So, so two weeks of every month, basically she was out. And so now with all of the traveling I do, I basically work in Atlanta during the week and I'm home on the weekends. Joe used to see your mom, sometimes in the, in the player bar, man, did she love Pedro

Guerrero? Man. In fact, I see a little bit of Pedro in you. And now a word from our sponsor and now back to the show. So it helps with my guilt cause I feel like it's just sort of normal for a parent to be gone all the time. Do you feel the same way? Cause you got kids and you're gone all the time.

How do you do it? The best thing I can say to that, and we talk about this on our own podcast, which, which you were nice enough to be on. Let's tell Tracy what that's called. Daddy issues. Called daddy issues. And you can find that where you find your favorite podcast. Sure.

Is that right? And your co-host. My co-host is Oliver Hudson. Beautiful man. He's the, who has the, uh, the lot in life of being Kate Hudson's brother and Goldie Han son and Kurt Russell's stepson. And you talk about daddy issues. He has mommy issues.

He has sister issues. He has everything. Left-handed golf game up there with Phil Nicholson. Yeah. No, he does. And, uh, you know, as, as I tell him, because he's, he's just obsessed, his dad left him before he was 10 and, and he was just bound and determined to never be that dad. And so he's gone the entire opposite way and he won't accept work sometimes if it's

going to take him away from his kids. My dad, as I said, was my best friend. I took, I took advantage of all the, uh, opportunities his job gave myself and my sister when we were little. And then when he was in town or if, if it had been a long time, he'd take me on the road. If, if he and I could become best friends and, and I worship the ground he walked on, it can be done.

It's what you do with your time when you're home. So what you're implying is you're going to take twin boys on the road with you as soon as they're old enough to travel. No, I'm too old. I'm too old for that. I'm too old really to be their parent. And I, I have a really, uh, long standing now, three year, uh, argument with my wife where she is so tired of hearing me say, I'm 52, I've done this before.

Can I get a fucking break here? Can I, can I just lay down? I just did. I'm with you. I'm one year old. I'm with you on that job. Oh my God. But my wife's so sick and Mike, he's saying my wife, Michelle, who's, who's an avid listener.

And as I told, uh, Jason, when he was on our podcast, she has, uh, you know, one of those new fangled electric cars and, and on the screen, which is the size of, of a flat screen in a bar, when you get into the car, it used to have my podcast on it, like, oh, she left off at the 43 minute mark. And now it's just smart less, smart less, smart less. And she, I don't listen, he's a, Jason's a big fan of the smart list too. Yeah. I heard that at the top.

You know, I, I remember, I worked with Beau Bridges years ago and he would talk about when he did that, he did that show with his dad, Lloyd and his brother, Jeff, uh, they, they did that show, um, SeaQuest, do you remember that? Seawolf. Not Seawolf. Not airwolf. You're thinking. Airwolf.

The palace vertice. The one that was shot, they were in the ocean all the time and they were, and he said that he was like, we got to go to work with our dad every day. It was the greatest. And that really, you know, no, of course I don't, my kids don't come to work with me every day. You're not going to take your kids to work with you. No, but I'm kind of stuck in the middle too, where like I do, Joe's not going to do it

either. No, I'll be, I'll be retired by the time they're going to get anything out of it. I will have ridden off into the sunset. No. Are you going to retire? No. Come on. You're just getting started.

I don't know. How old was your dad when he stopped? He stopped like the minute he died. Yeah. Which was what? How old was he? Well, that'll put an end to it for sure. It slows you down.

It slows you down. How old was he? Was he 80? He was 78. 78. Okay. He left a bank with the DMC, went to the hospital in St. Louis for lung cancer surgery and basically never got out.

So he worked the last day he was outside of a hospital. Oh man. He did a fundraiser and then went into the hospital and seven months later he, he died. So you've got 25 years left and you don't even smoke. So that's, that's at a minimum. Yeah. Great. It's not happening.

We're excited. I'm not growing old in the booth. In fact, and nobody cares. I mean, that was my dad's joke forever was, you know, I'm going to die in the booth someday and there are going to be two guys walking in the, down the street in St. Louis and one guy's going to turn to the next and say, Hey, did you listen to the game last night? Jack buck died in the fourth inning and the other guy will say, Oh, did the Cardinals win?

Yeah. Nobody cares. I know what you're implying here and this is going to sound like smoke, but I, I disagree with you. I really care who's announcing my sports and specifically I love what you do because I don't know whether it's an acting talent or whether it's genuine, but you seem so relaxed and so casual and you so easily relay the play by play information that I need to enjoy the game and you make you, you actually alleviate stress for me because watching sports and

caring about sports can be stressful, whether you're winning or losing. No, I agree. The fact that you're kind of have a steady hand at 10 and two and you're taking us through the game. I, not a lot of people do it like you. Well, thank you. And when I said, I agree, I agree that it can be stressful watching and I'm a huge St. Louis Blues fan.

I'm a hockey fan and go ahead. Yeah. Well, this is my question for you. I'm sorry. You keep going and then I'm going to follow up. Yeah. He's the guest. Shut your mouth.

God. Your question took 20 fucking minutes. Go ahead. It's well articulate. Go, Joe. No, it's not. Go, Joe. Pick it up.

Cut him off. You explain your own question. Sorry, Joe. No, it's okay. Well, so I, you're right. It is stressful and I try to just get out of the way and sometimes that pisses people off. Sometimes, oh, he, you know, he thinks he's too cool.

He doesn't care. He's not excited. It's actually the opposite. I, I, I try to highlight the game so much and it's TV. It's different. If you're doing the radio, it's, you have to say everything. You have to give all the detail TV is, it's almost redundant to be the play by play guy on TV.

You see a ground ball to the shortstop. You don't need me doing the TV to go ground ball to the shortstop. You just, you can kind of hit different notes in it and just get out of the way. And when a home crowd is going crazy, I love just kind of saying, oh, I love just kind of saying, home run, you know, Dodgers are up five to two engine. That sounds good. Our director goes, you know, that's when he goes to work. His name's Matt Gangle and he's showing, you know, you and the highly expensive seats

down front and he's showing Bert Sugarman and he's showing Mary Hart and he's showing all of these people. Me and Hartwell, just, just, just, you and Hartwell, right. Thinking about what club opening you're going to later that night. Matt Gangle, first of all, I want to say, I want to give a shout out to Matt because I want Matt to highlight me next time I'm at an event. It's done. Let me, I mean, he sounds like a great guy and a very cool guy.

That sounds like a job for Lewis Kay, but we'll leave that for another day. Does that sound like a job for Lewis Kay? Get the shout out. Is this Lewis's first nod on the podcast? It is definitely. It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. I mean, what kind of person are you?

So listen, so Joe, so I was going to, you mentioned the St. Louis Blues. There are a couple of things I want to talk about. Sean's interest was peaked when we talked about all this dad stuff and he really, and I want to get into that because it's no, no, I do because this is something that's very interesting. We've talked a lot about on the podcast recently and I know that it's something that you, you know, that is a conversation that's sort of a non-going conversation that we've been having for a while.

But you mentioned hockey. What are the, what are the sports because you call primarily baseball and football. You're on the, you're on the baseball over there on the Fox and then you're on the football with T. Aikman. Yes. What's Troy, do you watch went Troy Aikman? Sorry. Thank you, Sean.

What sports do you enjoy? If you're going to turn the TV on, what sport will you turn the TV on to watch? For instance, Al Michaels sits behind Lewis Kay at the Kings games. That's where his tickets are. And I see, sometimes I go with Lewis and I sit there and I talk to Alice's great guy. He loves hockey. Do you believe in miracles at the end of every game? And as a Canadian, I think like, yeah, but none of our NHL players were playing.

Can you imagine if who would have been playing for team Canada in 1980? You would have had Mike Bossy. You would have had Wayne Gretzky. You would have had, anyway, it doesn't matter. Just get over it. Just get over it. Let us have a moment. You guys can have that moment.

Can we just have our moment? You know, you've been hogging that moment forever, but what sport will you turn the TV on to watch? What do you love to watch other than baseball and football, hockey or golf? And I never understood golf as a kid. I love to play golf, um, but I never understood it on TV. I got to call five us opens, which was a thrill. Wait, really?

Uh, tell me something, Joe, it's psychologically. What is the show? Welcome. Yeah. What is the thrill of watching golf on TV? Well, it's a chance to just go to sleep. That was going to be my point. That's how it's going to say.

As, as the aforementioned in my 53rd year father of three year old twin boys, if there's any moment to just kind of power down and go see three PO just freezing out and that's golf. Yeah. Right. Right. Okay. And then they jump on you and then they jump on me.

And they, you know, one of my kids at his birthday party, I'm not going to name him. It could be one of two. It could be Blake or Wyatt bit me in the crotch area when he was, that's what made me think of it when you said hit me. I've actually been bitten in my very, very private area with his head, but he was scared of a life size real moving Batman that was his uncle coming to his birthday party. I was holding a cup of coffee. He buries crying and buried his head in my crotch and then, and then, and then went one

more. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. So this birthday party is in the morning because you're having a coffee. It was midday. And then Michelle's brother shows up and says, Hey, I got this new suit. I'm working kids parties.

Right. Can I get a couple bucks? I bought the suit. You bought the suit. So it's Michelle's brother. This is Michelle's brother. This is my wife's brother. Yeah.

I made my brother-in-law get into the suit that I got on Amazon. It was a great suit. I just didn't want to do it. And I just said, Hey, why don't you run around from the side of the house and the next thing you know, I have an open wound on the head of my friend. So Joe, listen, I want to go back to, to the art of what you do because I think it is kind of amazing. Anybody who does what you do to say that hyper focused every single game and you have to

know like the stats and the players and the plays and it doesn't get exhausting after a while to, to be that laser focused on every single aspect of every game, every day. There have been X players right off the field. Ronnie Lott is a guy that, that stands out to me that, that had safety for the San Francisco 49ers. Only has nine fingers. Yes. Yes.

Well, nine and a half. Tell Sean that story. That'll impress him. He lost the tip of his finger and didn't lose it voluntarily said, let's take it off. Right. Yeah. And it did. Yeah.

Why? Correct me if I'm wrong. He got his pinky smash between two helmets. The doctor said, we cannot save your finger. You can't play football anymore or you can have it chopped off. He said, go ahead and chop it off. I got to, I got to keep playing. I think it was just the tip.

Hang on, man. Let's keep it going. When you say just the tip, this is, this is a real thing. This is a family podcast. So, you know, we got people like Michelle listening here. I pointed out my mom is listening. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry.

It's just the tip of the finger. Do I need to be more specific? Yes. Okay. So he got off the field, went in, into the booth and, and he said, that was harder for me than playing. I have never had to concentrate longer in my life for three hours and now more than ever with social media and oh my God, if you make a mistake and oh my God, if, if you just misspeak

somehow and, and you know, you say something that you didn't mean, right? Oh my God. It's so fun. What a, what a time. Yeah. What an incredible time. People say, I think we don't have enough social media. We, we got to double it.

It's so great. And I want to hear from everybody. But isn't it kind of like a tree in the forest? So like, if you don't look at the comments, if you don't go on social media, does it really exist? If I did, I would quit. If I did and I, and I'm so fragile as I told you on our podcast, Jason, from being the fact getting, getting daddy issues, the getting picked on, yeah, let's get that right available

wherever you get your podcast as being picked on as a kid, when, when I read that stuff, I'm not saying people weren't picked on as kids. Most of us were for some reason, but it just goes right back into that. And I, and so I'm always trying to please, I'm always trying to go Joe, the picked on kids movement is fucking mad at you right now. Now they're mad at you. Hey, but why, why do I see on the wiki page here that you're famously criticized and tormented? I've never heard any of that.

I don't know what the hell they're, why, why is that? Because you're barely on, you just stick your toe into the social media. But is that a thing? Are you really, are you really criticized? Like you're at the top of your field. Who's, who's criticizing you? Because, you know, for you going to bed in your Dodger PJs every night, you all season long.

He's got him on right now. Oh yeah, I know. There's an LA somewhere on there. If you, all year long, you hear your TV announcers do the games basically as a Dodger fan. And that's how it's supposed to be. That's what I used to do as a Cardinal announcer. Joe Davis and Oral just bring it home to me every day. And if the Dodgers hit a home run, they're thrilled.

If the Dodgers give up a home run and now the Dodgers are losing, the call goes down. I have to get excited for both teams because I'm not there representing either team. I'm there representing, you know, Switzerland. So I don't care who wins, but when fans hear the announcer on TV, get excited for the other team hitting a home run, they get pissed off. And I get it. So you're saying you get excited when a Cardinal hits a home run, even though it's a national broadcast?

No. That's not at all what I'm saying. I don't see how you can even derive that from what it is. Here comes the quote. That's the direct quote. Yes. And thanks a lot. Yeah.

We thank you, Joe. We got the quote we wanted and we've got the controversy we wanted to start. Gotcha. Do you have Lewis on speed dial? I'd like to talk to Lewis. Right. I'd like to phone a friend. So Joe, let me ask you one question.

So going back. So your dad, you loved what your dad did. You wanted to emulate your dad and you wanted to spend time with your dad, which makes total sense, but who other than your dad, did you look up to or do you currently look up to as in terms of broadcasters in sports or broadcasters in general or people that you have idols in that world? If Al Michaels is doing it, I want to listen to it and it's just very pleasing to my ear. Vince Scully is the greatest baseball broadcaster of all time.

The mind blowing thing to me is that he worked by himself, uh, even to the bitter end, uh, when he was doing the games and that's just, that's a lot. What about Pat Samaral and John Madden? Oh my, so good. And we, and Troy and Chris Collinsworth, and I took their place at Fox and that, that was, you know, it was hard to kind of step in and my dad was my broadcast partner for over 10 years. And I, you know, I didn't know what to call him on the air was a dad was a jack was it

Hey, you, which is kind of what it became, I just didn't reference him by, right. That's how Jason references all the people that work on his crew, but go ahead. And so, uh, and so then we took over for Pat and John and, and I think they are to me. And again, I'm in my 53rd year. So that, that hits at my wheelhouse of what a big game in the NFL sounded like. It was Pat Samaral doing his Montana rice, right. Touchdown. And then John doing is he was the great straight man to John's kind of bam, boom, biff.

You do any vocal, uh, uh, warmups, uh, preparation before you go, uh, any sort of ritual will it likes to gargle all kinds of things before he does his, his candy records and truck records. He must. I've never heard a more glorious voice than will, uh, you do anything other than just kind of show up and say, let's, let's, I think you say you have a war cry. Let's do this or let's get after it or something. Yeah, it's, it's definitely in the category of a war cry. Yeah.

I walk into the list. You do that. And then the guy follows me around. You need to catch phrase. We need, you need to write to really submit your place because you're there. You're going to be on the Mount Rushmore of American sports broadcasters, but we need to establish a kick-ass. Yeah.

It was like, Hey, Joe Buck here for Fox Sports. Here we go. It's football time. You know what I mean? Like something like that. It's time for Fox football. You can incorporate a vinscully there. It's time.

Yeah. So when you, when you're listening to, to young announcers, what are some of the things that, you know, in your opinion, haven't, they haven't quite figured out yet. Like do you, don't be scared to not talk. Don't be scared of the silence. I, I think it's inherent within all of us, whatever we do, that if you're not talking or you're not reacting, it's in your mind, you're telling the audience, you don't know what to do.

And, and I think a lot of times, especially when with technology and crowd mics being what they are and that ambient sound, you don't need to fill up every second with your voice. Let it read. I feel like he's talking to me. He's looking right at me. I think you're fucking, you're fucking talking. You just started immediately started talking.

Was that out loud? Oh no, no, no, no. Case in point. Did I say that out loud? He started annoying you to become his friend because you're a baseball announcer. So how did he get your number? What was the thing? And how did he casually be like, Hey, we should text each other and start fucking bothering

you? We had a media, we had a media. Let him talk. Let Joe talk. We had a mediator. His name's Heartwell. Yeah. Jason's buddy.

Heartwell. So I'd heard, I heard Jason. He won't remember this on stern talking about washing his hands in a bathroom and he was up in the press box area and he was in the media area washing. I went into, I went scrambling in there to pee. You know, that's the other part of broadcasting they don't tell you. If there's stage fright in your life, don't even apply because you have, you have a minute and a half to go to the bathroom and, and there's running involved.

So you have to stay cardiovascularly in tune with yourself and never a diaper or a bottle under the counter. I have, I have peed in a bottle while calling an NFL touchdown. I swear to God. It was, yes. Good for you. I was peeing in a trash can and they came back. You don't have to brag.

Okay. Yeah. It's true. That's crazy. They handed me like a little water bottle. I'm like, I can't, the half wouldn't end. So that's not going to do it. Give me that.

Yeah. And I was wearing a parka because it was freezing. It was in Milwaukee. While you're talking, you did that. While you're speaking, we came back from a break and I was peeing and the action started and I, I called a touchdown while urine was coming out of me. Can you say what the game was? What the touchdown was?

You can go back and watch it. I'm pretty sure it was. I'm pretty sure it was Atlanta against green Bay and they played every year. Hard to believe now because of Lambo and the success of the Packers, but back then they played one home game at Milwaukee. I remember that county stadium. And so I, yeah, I, I, the bathroom was, was like over, it was like a mission impossible Tom Cruise thing to get to the bathroom in the stadium and the half wouldn't end.

And I couldn't get there and I was just pounding water and it just, I was, I was crying. Water was trying to get out. And when you were announcing it, there was a little extra sound of relief in your voice when you were announcing it. Yeah. There was a little, that's six points. That's true though. And so yeah, that, that's another piece to the job.

They don't tell you in broadcast school or when you're a lucky nepotite. I just thought of it. I just thought of your, your, your catchphrase right at the start of the game, baseball or football. You go, here we go. The game of the week, the buck starts here. Oh, nice. Yes.

Well, that's free. Joe, go ahead. The buck starts here. You can have that. If you say it during a broadcast, I swear, I'm going to, you're going to make me so happy. You, I will make one person so happy. And the rest of them. And then that's one of those things.

Like if we can just reach one person, we know we've done our job. That's true. We're going to be right back. All right. Back to the show. Joe, do you have like a, a something that you've, it doesn't have to be controversial or whatever, but anything that in the moment, you're like, it was so embarrassing and that you can't take it back.

And it's out there. Like you have a funny. There's a couple of things. The, the most notable is I mentioned we did the U S open and they're playing at Aaron Hills and Brooks Kepke is one of the great players in the game to this day. This was I think 2016. He wins the U S open, wins his first major. And I'm trying to pass myself off as a golf announcer and I'm doing my best.

We've had a pretty good week at Fox. I felt like I did a decent job that year. It was my second year doing it. And at the end, this guy, Katka wins the U S open and this girl keeps showing up in every shot, every shot, kissing him, holding up the trophy. We did it. We did it. I get a card handed to me from a guy in the back of the booth who'd been handing me

cards all week that were dead on and made me sound a thousand times smarter than I actually am and a thousand times more clued in. And he's got all the stats of who the girl is. And so I just read the card. That's a so-and-so. She's a soccer player at Michigan state and I'm working with Brad facts. And then he goes, actually, Joe, the person you just said is his ex-girlfriend. This is his new girlfriend, Jenna Sims.

Oh wow. And I'm like, uh, okay, good night. Everybody. Good night. Everybody. Good night. Did Kepka want to come and tune you up? No.

I, so I, then I get facts and has everybody's number. Of course. Fax and would know that. I mean, they had been dating for the, like a month or whatever it had been at that point, but facts and knows he's in everybody's business. He's in everybody's business. I love him, but I, I, I text him and I say, Hey, give me Kepka's number. And I texted Kepka right after he wins the U S open.

I said, Hey, I don't know if you've heard this, but I kind of fucked up on national TV. I said your ex-girlfriend's name. I, I'm so sorry. I feel terrible. I shouldn't have ruined that moment for you. And he texted back like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, crying emoji, all good, you know, great job or something like that.

And then he and I, and then you asked him if you could go to his wedding. Yeah. They are engaged. So I'm going to work so hard to get, to get invited to that wedding, whether I'm in that city or not. I, I will be there somehow, so I'd like to introduce them and fuck up her name for the second time in my life. That'd be so good.

If you could tell that story and then once again to give, use the old girlfriend's name, bring it on. He's welcome. Mr. and Mrs. Joe, is there is what is, what, in your opinion, the best ballpark hot dog nationwide, please? I don't really dive into the hot dogs when I'm there. Look at that guy. He eats hot dogs.

Look at him. Look at him. You don't eat bad food. You don't eat the media food. He doesn't eat hot dogs. Look at him. He's in shape. By the way, I noticed you were in shape last year.

I really, you really start, whatever you were doing, I could, I was like, look at this son of a... Titer suits. No, he looks better. He just looks... It's waist up. I could see your jawline was popping last season. And I just thought this guy...

And the hair looks frigging great, Joe. Let me tell you something. The hair looks great. I mean... That's the story, Sean, that I kind of will carry with me for the rest of my life, that I went in for my eighth hair transplant surgery back in the day. And I... You said it hurt your vocal cords, right?

Well, for the first six, I was awake during this really painful procedure. Now this was back in the day. Right. So this is like 2011 when I got my last one, and the doctor... Well, they used to do it with a needle and thread, right? Needle and thread. And then all the hair from your armpits, the whole cast of people that were in there to donate hair to me, just different people.

Wow. So... Wait, you've had eight? Okay, keep going. This is... And the doctor had said, you know, I know that, you know, you struggle during this procedure and you've had a lot of them. You know, you can go under and you can do a general anesthetic.

Just the best. I was like, are you kidding me? He's like, yeah, but it's an extra $3,000. I'm like, I'll pay you 10. I don't want to be awake during this. I hate it and whatever. So they do the... You know, you sign out the waivers and all that, and they put a tube down my throat and

it sat on the nerve that fires my left vocal cord in a way that when I came out, I sounded like this and I had one vocal cord that was working and one that wasn't. Wow. And the story I told, we had McConaughey on our podcast recently, and I saw him in the shadow of where I'm sitting right now, back in 2011, and he's like, hey, Buckaroo, what's wrong with your voice? And I said... Buckaroo.

You said, what's wrong with yours? Did you light them up after that? And I told him the story and he just waited and he went, so what you're saying is... You fixed your video, you fucked up your audio. Oh, boy. I was like, yeah. And by the way, I just got on anti-depressants and I'm going through divorce. So I'm going to go over here and suck my thumb and cry to myself for a little while.

Joe, let me say this, and I don't use this term often, but you're a real hot mess. Keep going. Sorry. Go ahead. I'm good now. Back then, I was definitely hot. So eight treatments. Eight treatments on that.

Eight treatments. Are we done? No. So I had one recently with the new methods, with a guy in LA whose client list, I found from another one of our guests, he's like, yeah, I had it done. It just came up organically and so then we became friends. Another Lewis K guy. You want to give the doctor a plug right here?

No pun intended. Yeah. Well, he gave you one, so you know. So why do you have to have eight procedures? Can't you just have one good one? Massive head, Jason, and I have thin, wispy hair. Is it like one row at a time? Why can't they do the whole thing, especially if you're knocked out?

Yeah, you would think, and that's what led to my vocal cord paralysis, but it was six hour procedure, but back then it was not as great as it is now. How long before your voice came back? It was about seven, eight months somewhere. It must have been scary. I mean, that's your livelihood. How much hair do you now have in your throat? Well, I mean, every once in a while, one will get in there.

Were you worried that your career was over with your voice being on the fence? Yeah, it was a mess, and I drove my daughter's crazy because I would drive into school in the morning and be like, how about this, does this sound better? Fly ball into right and back into grab it is Peterson, and that'll be two out. How's that? And I thought it was all over, but it just slowly came back. I could feel it getting better, but you couldn't hear it getting better, but it's funny how your brain works because I was on Fallon one time promoting the All-Star game, and I got

out of that appearance thinking, oh man, I totally got through that. I sounded great. And if I go back, if you Google me on Fallon's show in 2011, it's horror. I can't even watch it. And it's just funny that I was willing to kind of put myself out there and I didn't miss a game, I sounded horrible. The problem is when you have a paralyzed vocal cord, you can't hold air because it just escapes. And so you can't emote, you can't get loud, you can't, and so I'm trying to just hold

my breath, wait for the moment, squeak out of play by play call, and eventually it came back for October and it just, I was really thankful because doctors were telling me if it doesn't come back in three months, it's not coming back, and it was way over three months. Is your voice insured? I did for a while. I think it would be probably hard to insure after that, and it's not perfect. It's not what it was prior to this whole incident.

If you're going to go back and do more treatments, you're still going to be put under with the tube down your throat? No. So that's the things. What little did I know? So I wrote about this, this is how my book worked. What's the name of the book, Joe? Book is called Lucky Bastard.

Lucky Bastard can be found wherever you like to buy your own books. It's on discount racks everywhere. Is he giving you a cut of his shit? What is this? You have a little range of your own books. Unbelievable. Make sure to tune in and watch Lego Masters Tuesdays on Fox. Can I do that now?

Yeah. Sure. Now I want to know why I'm still on the hair thing. Your dad was a really attractive, pretty hairless fella. When your colleagues, John Smoltz, got a beautiful head on him, not a ton of hair on it. What's the need? Let's stop the madness. Narcissism?

Ego? No, what ego? You got a gorgeous head. You look good bald. Why don't you shave the whole goddamn thing? I know. I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't.

Jason, listen to you. With all the hair you have on you, you're like a billionaire saying to somebody who doesn't have any money, like, why can't you be happy? You're alive. You should be happy. You're alive. That's right. It's a nice day outside.

It's easy for you to say, motherfucker. You know? Look at that. It's going different directions. I know. If I had enough hair where pieces could go in different directions like that, it's just annoying. It looks like a little boy.

But here's the great news. His hair's got great roots because there's so much empty space below the skull for it to fight for the root. Well, that sounds like an insult. Okay. See? He doesn't even know. Oh, Lord.

I don't know. I can't answer anything other than I have since done another one for the first time. I did it like a couple months ago and I highly recommend it and it's not painful. So I know what I started to say. I didn't realize because I opened my book with this that my name was mud in the hair transplant world from these doctors because I talked about the barbaric pain that comes with it and they're like, you're driving people away, you know, the seven people that read your book.

You're driving people away by talking about how awful the procedure is. And they're right because now it's simple. But you know, Joey, you bring up a boy. So the people in that world hate you. There are a lot of people who are gunning for you. It sounds like that. According to you. Who loves you?

Who loves you? My mommy. My mom loves me. I love you. Sean loves me. Thank you. Michelle. Michelle loves me most of the time when I'm not complaining about paying a dad for the

second time around. Yeah. My daughters. Who would win in a fight between you and Aikman? Aikman. Yeah. Really? He's a tough, he's a big guy.

Look at Aikman. He's got abs. He's got. Does he have abs? Muscles. Oh, he has abs. Yeah. He's in good shape.

It's annoying. But my point is, should we have, should there be a battle? We can get some announcers. I'll take Michaels. I'll take Michaels. So you and Al Michaels, okay. This is, by the way, I can sell this to Showtime by. Nance.

I'll take my chances with Nance. With Nance. Oh. Old Jimmy Nance has got a real sharp jab on him. Yeah. No, no. Talk to me about Nance a little bit. I'll, I'll hello friends him.

I'll hello friends. Jimmy's real folksy. He gets real folksy on you. But I love his style because he keeps it real casual and he keeps it right down here. And you'll be watching, they do the handoff. You'll, you're watching the golf on the, you know, on the Thursday or Friday or even on, on a Saturday morning. And then all of a sudden the, you know, they get to the network broadcast and all of a sudden

Nance and Sir Nick pop on real, real, like, like somebody just quietly let them in the back door. Before you know it, Nance is romancing the microphone. He's like, well, and Nick, tell me about Kepka. What are you doing? Oh, shit. Who let Nance in? And then making verbal love to his microphone.

I know you're right. He loves it. He's got it. He's got the gain on real high. Tremendous skill. He's got, he's got the game turned way up. So look, watch this. I'll just do this on my mic here.

So you can turn the game way up so you can talk low and you don't have to give much of a voice. And here it comes. And now I'm Jim Nance. And here he comes for that walking, walking up the 18th. I want you to say, Will, I want you to hear this. Yeah. I want you to say just, but put a lot of time between all, I'm going to go for all four

words. Just a moment ago. Just a moment ago. Yeah. And then bam. My voice, so I'm going to keep my game on real high here. And my guy's going to be mad. But my voice over idol was this guy, Hal Reini.

And he used to do Perrier. You'll remember he's long since passed. But he'd go, there is the town in the middle of France. Where the water comes out. And it's a little above. And that is that Perrier. Oh, I love that guy. I love that.

I'm going to turn myself down now. Joe, thank you. And please enjoy the rest of your five week vacation in Mexico. Yes. And stay away from crashing more weddings. Joe, thank you. You're a real champ for being here. Thanks, Joe.

Nice to meet you. Thank you, buddy. Thanks, Will. Thanks, Sean. Thanks, Justin. Thank you for your wonderful callback. He brought it all the way back. Hashtag cold back.

Thank you, Joe. Hopefully we'll see you soon in Los Angeles. Yes, that would be nice. Please hurry. Just a moment ago. Just a moment ago. Ago. Into the hole it goes.

Thank you, my friend. Thanks, buddy. Bye, pal. Bye. Oh, another nasty, unfriendly, non-talkative prick. Sean, do you, when you hear him talking about his relationship with his dad, does it make you wish that your dad took you to the track? With him?

Every day. And when we say track, we're talking about the dog track. Or highlight. Highlight was Tuesdays and Thursdays, right? Is he still with us, by the way? My dad? He is. Yeah, he's somewhere.

What's his name? Quick. He's a big fan. He's a big fan. His name is Ron. Ron or Ronald? Yeah. Yeah.

Boy, that is a, let me tell you something. That is a dog track name right there. Okay. It would use Ronald for highlight, but Ron's definitely at the track. The double Windsor. By the way, how many times has he heard this in his life? Hey, Ron, who do you like in the fourth? He knows how to slam a door, doesn't he?

Wills on the ground. Come on back up. I don't know why he makes me laugh so much because it makes Sean laugh so much. I love it. You know, when he was saying about how he inspired him or when Joe was talking about how his dad inspired him, you know, we always, I used my dad leaving as kind of like every day you wake up and you think, I'll show you. Yeah.

I saw you nodding when he said that though. Not nodding off. I saw you nod. I went like, yes. Yeah. No, no. I love that kind of talk. I didn't know he had a podcast called Daddy Issues and they just talk about all that stuff.

Yes. I would imagine. Did you talk about your dad? I think I did. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why I can't remember the stuff that I do. Maybe because I'm just concentrating when I'm doing it.

That's all right. We all remember. Will, go ahead. Take a shot real quick. I don't want to say anything. Nope. Okay. It'll come.

It'll come. We know why. There it is. We know why. Here it comes. And. No, I'm just because you're not in touch with yourself. Yeah.

That's why. It's down there somewhere. By the way, I'm not exactly completely in touch with myself either. So I'm, you know, glass houses over here. Well, I'm in touch with both of you. I don't know. And I'm in touch with you. Yeah.

Sean, you are, you're pretty in touch with yourself. You've been doing a lot of work. I mean it. Oh, thank you. You know, you do a lot of work on this stuff. And I, I, I respect, I totally respect that. I think it's awesome the way that you do that you've, that's become an important part of your life.

Thank you. Yeah. No, I, I, I try to be self aware at 24 hours a day. Are you currently in therapy? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh God. Once a week.

Once a week. Yeah. Standing appointment. Standing appointment. 1230 Monday. Yeah. Come on. Yeah.

I'm not kidding. God, I wish I could get on a routine. You know, therapists have like a punch card. You're on a fucking routine. Dude, you're on a routine. You're on fucking routine. But it would be good for me to get into a routine. Either weekly or.

Or by monthly. You can smell me leading into it. I smell that too. Yeah, that was really good. Old fish. Bye. Smart. Yes.

Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes.

Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes. Yes. Yes. Smart. Yes.

Yeah. Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes. Smart. Yes. Smart.

Yes. Smart. Yes. Well, we'll be out in a week where you listen to podcasts or you can listen to it right now early on Amazon Music or early and add free by subscribing to Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts, or by subscribing to Wondery Plus. plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery app.