SmartLess - "John Krasinski"

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

We spend a fortnight in the future with our dear friend, John Krasinski. Baby weight record-holder a.k.a. ‘Kras’ schools us on Call Of Duty, Sean auditions for an Esurance ad, and we all get burritos at Sharky’s. Come join us for a listen– we’re serving cardboard and almonds!Please support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys, I'm just, I'm coming at you a little, a little early, and I, excuse me, I'm super excited for you to hear the show, so let's rock and roll, let's smart-less. Smart-less, smart-less, smart-less. I did sweat, then I showered. You sweat and then you showered. So your hair is mixed of sweat, of sweat and sweat. No, no, no. I showered all the sweat out.

You have just shampooed hair that you're enjoying. Can I now tell Will my next story or no? I want to get into your next story, but hang on a second, Jason. Did you, God so many questions, did you, do you shampoo every day? I don't, actually I just lied to you, I did not shampoo today. Wow. Yeah, you sweaty, that's all sweat. I will not shampoo, but once a week, because, you know, as most, most smart, well-groomed

listeners will attest to, you will get fluffy, flyaway hair if you shampoo every day. You got to keep it a little- You think most of our listeners will get it. No, no, most of them will get it. But then the opposite is oily, gross. That gives you a handsome clumping, okay, it's the name of my new autobiography. New autobiography. Sean, do you- Handsome clumping. Not to be confused with handsome humping, Sean's three part- Yeah, three part series.

Three, there's only three parts. Did you, Sean, did you, how often do you shampoo? I shampoo every other day. Really? Every other day. Did you condition to? Oh wait, I can answer that. Never, ever, never.

Oh. How come you don't use any hair product? Me? Yes. Flyaway, uncontrollable, 1983 feathered- That's my personality, just flyaway and- Why don't you put like a little bit of even mousse? When I see you guys- Even mousse would work. The old mousse.

No, when I see you guys on Sunday, a lot of times I'll, I'll throw some, some poopy stuff in there. I don't, I don't see it. You need more. Why don't you try Jen's stuff that Jason did the commercial for? I did. Lola Vee. You're talking about Lola Vee?

I did. Lola Vee? I did. That you did Amanda's shot. It was not intended to be commercial, unlike Sean's, Sean tried to come over the top with his and he succeeded. Have you enjoyed that yet, Will? No.

Did he do one for her too? Did you not see Sean's shower masterpiece? No. Oh, for Jen's products? Oh my God. Yeah. And Scotty shot it and cut it together. In two seconds.

And it's probably online somewhere. No. I don't think it went anywhere. Don't, Sean, don't pull it up. Please don't pull it up. Why not? Probably have a respectable guest that is doubting or questioning their decision at this point. Why don't you just air it on the TV behind you, you know, so that, because you've already

seen it. Wait, where is it? Who knows? You know, I mean, I guess we'll find it one day. Sean. Shoot. I'm looking for it. Obviously.

All right. Sean, what have you done with your break? Listener, we did an earlier record and now we're doing a later record and it's been lunch. It's a two for a day. A lunch window here in Los Angeles. No. Don't tell, we'll tell you what you ate.

I ate three donuts. Did you really? And a glass of milk. And that's what I had for lunch. Do you usually eat donuts or just whatever the fuck happens to be on the plate? Yum-yums from Yum-yums. Hello? Hello?

Don't say, don't say, from Yum-yums as if we're supposed to know that. Yum-yums. You're talking about the spot up the street on the corner of Vine and Melrose where they had scored die back at. How do you know that? How do you know that? Wow. I went in my pajamas.

I was still in my pajamas and slippers. I walked right in there. Sean, why, why, why do you eat donuts, especially for lunch? For lunch. So good. I was really hungry because I didn't have a big breakfast. And so I was like, you know, when you crave carbs for breakfast, I had like a cup of tea and like a muffin.

Okay. So just keeping score today. So you had a muffin and three donuts. Does your colon ever jump up through your esophagus out your mouth and just square up, look you in the eye and say, what is your fucking problem? What are you doing to me? No, it climbs up, comes out of my mouth and looks me in the eye and says, thank you. Do you just roll into a chin chin now and you go down, you go to a table level with

your mouth at the end of the table and they just shovel food into it. You must be busy this time with all the Santa work you're doing, right? How many callbacks did you have for the Grove this year? By the way, we can, we can say because it's on the air obviously already that, you know, the Sean playing Santa in the murderville holiday special was tremendous. Oh, that's right. You do. So required for that.

Sean was so happy because he was like, I don't have to memorize any lines. I know any lines. I can just sit there. It's just dead. It was really funny actually. I am hearing some folks are enjoying that trailer, that teaser, Will. Well, we got a new trailer. Well, this shows, you know, as you know, it's already out.

Yes. Now with the airing of this podcast. But I tell you what, I tell you what, it's going to be timeless just like, just like our guest today. Yeah, speaking of your guests, I have something caught in my teeth and I have floss with me and I'm wondering if this is a guest. So go ahead and floss. Go ahead and floss.

Can I floss during the intro? Because when you see that, because they're going to give you shit for it. They will. Go ahead, Sean. Yeah. Go ahead, Sean. Whatever you say. I have to tell you my, my neck.

You've been talking about the next story. Across two episodes. I know. It better be good. Go. Okay, Sean. Go quickly. Let's go.

I'm going to floss during it. No, no, it's too long. You know? Okay. Because this person likes stories. They like telling stories. Okay. You know, Jason.

They're okay. I'm going to let you listen to the floss. No, but the camera's on the crotch. They're not watching and they were just listening. God, this is, this is like a nightmare. This is just what I do when I floss. That is so disgusting. Our guest is somebody, this is what an intro.

Our guest is somebody who is not your run on the mill. This is somebody who does a lot of different things. Somebody that we all know, some of us better than others. We've been friends with for a long time. This person is, gets to do all sorts of different stuff. They're not just stuck in an office. Although there was a time when he was stuck in an office for many years on TV. I can't say too much because you know who it's got to be because it's Krasinski.

Yes. Yay. Yes. Oh, fire please. And you're in the bedroom. Oh, you're in your own bedroom. This is my own, oh, sorry about that. Yeah, I mean, that's fine.

John, what, let's get into it here. Who's fault is this? I'm just happy to be here before the bicentennial. You know what I mean? Just before the 200th guest. It's outrageous that Emily was here before you, Will. Well, they were supposed to be back to back days and it got moved a few times because of schedule of everybody, a bunch of you, because John one time and you and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So it was supposed to be, so literally when Emily was on and you're, and we're like, we got to get John on and I'm just like, just keep it straight, because he was supposed to be on the next day. Oh, well, I was holding the boom for, so I heard the whole thing. Yeah, so he was there the entire time. Were you really there when we were interviewing? Yeah, and he had a bounce, and he had a bounce card too. Hollywood had a bounce card. Wow.

It was just Hollywood-ing. Boom's in. Boom's in. Hollywood myself. John. Hollywood. All right. Listener, I apologize up top.

Listener, for you, you're going to have to listen to us. Just do a bunch of catching up now. It's going to be a lot of memory lane. A lot of memory lane. All right. So you are talking to us from a beautifully appointed room. Children's room. A beautifully wall-papered listener.

I'll have you know. Is that a children's room or is it a guest room? It's a child's room. Which child? I don't know. I was taking a walk and just ducked into the first house I could find. Wow. And they were all set up for the podcast.

Good for them that they had the microphone and everything. Now, John, how many kids now? Six. Two kids? Seven. Just the two. Oh, sorry. I mean in total, not just with Emily.

Oh, sorry. I thought you meant just with Emily. Six. Yeah. It's six. Good for you. Wait, Johnny. So tell us how old are the girls now?

Eight and six. Eight and six. God. How are you, by the way? I'm great, Sean. How you doing? I'm good. It's good to see you.

It's so nice to see you. Jason, when you hear him talk about his two daughters, eight and six, are you like, you look back fondly on not remembering your daughters when they were that age? Do I have daughters? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. I think I met your daughters when they were around eight and six.

Yeah. Yep. Well, they're now 16 and 11. No, they got it. They were older. They were older. I mean, younger. They were younger.

Yeah, they were. Yeah, yeah. For sure. You're in your back east. You live east. No, right now I am down under. I'm talking to you from the future. I'm in Australia because Emily's shooting in Australia.

Oh, sure. Fall guy. Fall guy. Yeah, fall guy. So if you guys want to know how yesterday went, it went great. Really? How were the hot costs yesterday? Did they go over under with that guy Leech?

Right. Leech. That guy knows how to direct a movie. Man, bullet train. He sure does, right? Dave Leech. I love Dave Leech. I love bullet train.

That was real fun. Real good. I'm having fun. Wait, are you there? Are you there involved in the same movie or just support? No, I keep going every day, but they keep saying no, not today. Thanks anyway, though. Yeah.

Thank you. You just keep getting in background line for wardrobe. Yeah, just like on the waterfront style, just at the gate, you know, just waiting. But did you, you just finished a movie though, right? Did you just? I did. I just wrapped this movie that I wrote and directed called if with Ryan Reynolds. And a unbelievable actress named Kaylee Fleming, who is the really the lead of the movie.

She's incredible. No more incredible actress than Ryan Reynolds though. He's good times. He was speaking highly of all you guys. I love him. I've listened to every single one of your shows. No, that's not true. I have every single one.

You know why? Cause it's, it feels like we're all hanging out again. That's what it feels like. Yeah. So I was texting with John and he was, I was texting with John last night. My last night, his two weeks ago, two weeks in the future. I don't know. Fortnite.

I forget how it works, but he, yeah, it was at least a fortnight in the future. And he says to me, mate, he says, I'm really excited to do the pot. Yeah. Cause he really gets right in there. He says that I really, I'm looking forward to it because it's going to feel like hanging out again. And I was like, oh yeah, it's been a fucking minute since we. Well, you're on.

I've been busy crushing it as a director. I know. Congratulations on that, Joni. Thank you so much guys. I mean, my God. You and I, you and I have had some conversations since I've been absolutely stunned by all your stuff. Oh, Jay.

Thank you. So great. Tell us, tell us, thank you. Tell, tell us what, what is, what is if, is if in the same genre as, as Quiet Place? It's not. I, I took a whole left turn there and. Is it comedic? It's not.

It's a, I mean, it is, it is comedic. It's basically a, it's my movie that I wrote for my kids. So it's about imaginary friends and the power of these adorable things. Aren't just adorable. They're a time capsules for all our hopes, dreams and ambitions. So what if we could tap back into that? What if we can tap back into it? I smell tears.

There's a probably a nice moment in there. Ryan can get you to cry. So can you. Oh boy. Ryan can do it real well. Well. One of the things that I love about craze and I always have. Take it down.

Make it. Is that he's an emotional guy wears his heart on his sleeve. There, I don't know if I know anybody. Cry everything. More emotional and who, who's so open about it. And it's a real superpower. Yeah. He's got his teeth.

He's got his nose. And he will. And he has like, I can't tell you how many times over the years craze is like, grab my arm or my shoulder and be like, can you believe this dinner we have or whatever it is. And then he'll be, and he'll be well. It makes me sound like a psychopath. No. It's that state.

I love it because it's so, it's because you get so passionate about stuff and you really and it goes to everything you're passionate about the people you love. You're passionate about your wife, your kids, your work, all of it. You don't do anything. There are zero half measure. I don't think I've ever seen you do anything in a half measure, including playing a video game. Oh my God.

You remember that? Oh, you guys not play call of duty anymore with your headsets and. We, before we got into call of duty, we headed over to Twitter or HMV or something and bought three systems, three cheap TVs and set them up in the same room like minority report. Me and craze and Thoreau. And we did like a hotel at the hotel. We did a three day weekend in LA playing these video games. Bender.

Usually there's crystal meth involved in something like that. You remember, it was so weird that at one point, you remember Janine was staying there offload and she came over and she was making, she was making bead, like she was making bracelets and she was there and we weren't even talking. She's like, eventually she's like, well, I'm going to leave. You guys aren't even talking because we were all like, go get the deal. Yeah. We were in a hotel.

Yeah. We went down to dinner will and she told us she was there and we said we had no recollection. She was there. We said that we didn't know she was in and then she told us she was making bracelets with beads. But Sean, go ahead, Sean. No, no. You go. I was going to talk about what's going on down there in Australia.

Tell me, what's your average day now that down there as, as sort of playing dad, you're bringing the girls to the set to coordinate with lunchtime or. Well, the girls are in school here. We always throw the girls in school. I'm here for another eight weeks and then I'm editing a little bit, but then I go back to New York to edit, but the girls will stay here, I think for 10 weeks and then Emily's here for 12 more weeks. Wow.

Wow. That's a long time. Wow. I've never been here, by the way. Will, you've been here. Drew Form just told me that you guys flew together. Yeah. I've been there twice with Drew.

And not only that, I don't look around, but I actually, I'm like Mr. Australia. I just did it with Rose Burn. I just did a big campaign for tourism Australia. Some kind of like represent. What? Yes. Yes. I've seen it now.

Is it out yet? Yeah. Boy. That's incredible. How many pages down on the list do you think they were? I mean, why would they go? Oh my God. What about Will Arnett just screams, oh, fuck, we got to get Will Arnett to sell Australia

to the world. When I think of the outback. You know it's funny about that. When I get Rose Burn, at least, is Australian. Go ahead, Kras. Yeah. You know what's funny about that? Well, do you remember when we were at Margarita Mix, I've only had one voice campaign in

my life because they heard what I had and they said thanks anyway. It's the voiceover studio here in town. It was for insurance. I thank you. Yeah. Click or call. Anyway, but I was in the booth. I was in the booth doing the script and in walks Will and he's like, Kras, what's going

on? And they were like, Will, the guys in Chicago were like, Will, is that you? He gets on the mic and he's like, Hey, who is it? And they were like, it's Andy and Dave. And he was like, Andy, Dave, what's going on? And you could hear these dudes going, you think he might take a pass? Hey, man, get out of the booth. This is all I've got right now.

Will, give us a click or call right now. I'm such a click or call insurance. Oh, no. Oh, God. They're going to revive it. They can't afford it. Hang on a second. Yeah.

Oh, shit. Is this going to wreck the audio, the beeping of the bringstruck? This guy. Hey, do you mind if I give it a go once? Yeah. Let's hear it, Shani. Okay. What's the line?

Click or call. Click or call. Okay, ready? Insurance. Yeah. Yeah. It's just insurance. Oh, insurance.

It's just insurance. But it's crazy because I remember, Will, you said into the microphone, do you guys need it truckier? And I was like, come on, man. Truckier. Come on. Remember? Cras is one of my favorite.

We have so many memories. I mean, we fuck, man. Holy shit. This is the first time that we spent over the years and I was thinking about one time, I don't even know how long ago this was, but we were down at, do you remember this? We're at the gray dog, the one on Carmine Street in New York. Oh, yeah. We're having coffee.

It was like a, I don't know. It was like a Wednesday morning or something. You know where I'm going with this. And we're sitting there and people were walking by and we're like, look at this guy. We had the comments for everybody. We're like, look at this freaking loser. Hey, nice fucking jeans. Just to each other, make each other laugh.

And then we're kind of quiet for a second and we just go, God, Bateman would love this. Just tossing shit bombs. By the way, I think the biggest regret of leaving, definitely the biggest regret of leaving LA was leaving you guys. And Emily said that the thing she'll miss most is seeing the three of us in a corner, just doing bits, just completely isolated from the rest of the group, just doing, serving up bits and entertaining to only us three. Just pathetic and obnoxious.

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There are so many things, people call them life hacks, but often they're just things that make sense. Things that, for me, the things that make sense that I do to help me feel good about myself are really simple. Because I want to be my best self at all times because when I'm being my best self and feeling, you know, my best self, then I feel better and one of the things I do is self care. Self care is the most important thing to me and that might be exercising. That might be talking to people who are really positive, people who have a great perspective on life. Also, one of those things is talking to a therapist. I've found it over the years to be really, really helpful because it allows me to be my best self.

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Visit betterhelp.com slash smartless today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P.com slash smartless. And now back to the show. Johnny, I actually have a real question for you. Okay. Which is... I'll bet you don't.

First of all, is... Theater stories. Believe me, if any, I'm all ears. They're the best stories. Hey, John, what's the craziest? I can't even get it out. Go ahead. By the way, you know what?

You guys make fun of me asking people for theater stories, and they always end up being hilarious. They always have. It's true. And I find for people who listen to the show that they fucking love them too. And actually, John is a legitimate theater guy. So if you have any awful, horrible stories. Okay, great.

But I really have a real question. I've got it written down right here. Sean, I'll get to him at the end. Yeah. Only did one play. It was all at Nightmare. No, for real? Oh, didn't you study playwriting at Brown?

Playwriting, yeah, not play performing. I did a couple plays at school, but no. I basically went to a theater school after I graduated. I was a mid-year at Brown, so everybody graduated in May. I still had a semester. And that's what, just for home births? You can stop with home births. I'm thinking of something else for sure.

I'm definitely thinking of something else. I knew there was something there. Are there any funny theater writing stories? I'd love to hear a theater writing story funny thing. No, that's just, that was all just torturous. Well, because you're alone in a room writing. What's funny about that? There he is.

He knows it. Okay, so wait, but do I have a question? So a quiet place. Was that your first directing gig or no? No. It wasn't. No, Will was in my directorial debut. That's right.

Which was what? Will was in it. It was an adaptation of a David Foster Wallace book called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. And Will was in it. He was probably starring in it, right? One of the Hideous Men. Probably headlining the name above title.

And, no, he was so nice to jump in. He came in and did this small part. It was amazing. It was amazing. So my serious question is dumb, which is what made you go from being an actor to wanting to be a director? Was there a person, a moment or something

where you were on the set of the office and go, I kind of want to do this. I'd rather, I'm more interested in how it's made than being in it. I think there was something happening in the back of my head, but I never thought I'd have the confidence to direct. And I was actually sitting at a burrito place.

What's it called in LA? Chipotle. Sharkies. Sharkies. Oh, yeah. I was sitting with Mr. Rainn Wilson and he saw that I was a bit perplexed and he said, what's going on?

I said, I'm trying to get somebody to direct this movie I wrote called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. He goes, why don't you do it? And my brain shut off and I went, what are you talking about? And he was like, you should just do it. And so I did. And he encouraged me to direct it. And then in between then, the people at the office heard

that I was going to direct a film. So they said, why don't you direct a couple episodes to get your feet wet. And the office was my entire film school, everything I could ever dream of. I got in the purest form on that show from, I mean, the unbelievable writer's room that we had to these unbelievable editors.

And you were a writer before even an actor, before even a director. Were you a writer first? Sort of. I was an English major in college. And in my senior year, I took a course, which I got into the honors playwright program. What college?

Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. Okay, great. Got it. I've heard of it. Okay, Sean. I'm done. We can wrap it up if you want. There's a fucking third degree over here

like he's a criminal. I don't know what's going on. Why is Crasse being persecuted right now? By the way, it just feels so good to be called Crasse again. Nobody has called me Crasse. Does nobody else call you Crasse? No. Nobody.

All my phones throughout the years, it's all Crasse on my thing. And so like I'm just like, so when your name anytime comes up, I was like, Well, you know how you come up on my phone. You know how you come out. No, keep it clean.

Keep it clean. Carrie Russell's. What? The pop die in Mission Impossible 3. That's right. By the way. I know exactly what you're talking about. John, tell them why.

Tell them why. Tell them why. One of my favorite movies. Will and I were obsessed with Mission Impossible. Of course. Born all that stuff. We would literally go sit front row. I mean, before any other humans were in the theater,

we were there and we were prepared for all the movies. And we saw them. And when we saw Mission Impossible 3 and Carrie Russell has a bomb go off in her head and her eye twisted, we hit each other and laughed so hard. I mean, just shaking each other. And I made it.

I made it the picture so that when Will calls, it's this. It's just this. He'll do it to me. Sometimes he'll just like, we'll be out. Some people talking. He'll turn to me and just go,

like, do the, I think. And the other thing we do to each other. I think I mentioned this to JJ when he was on the show. Abrams, the little brown dot that they never explained that they just put on the arm. And when they, like in the movie, at some point the guy just walks up and just goes, puts this brown dot on the person, just slumps.

I'm like, what is the brown dot? It's the deadly freckle. It's a poison dart. And also Billy Crudup's character mouths to Tom. He goes, yeah. And they have a conversation just mouthing. Right. But Will, do you remember we were at a party

and JJ had just directed the office. And he goes, I can't believe I remember this. And I'm so embarrassed to say this story. JJ goes, hey man, you want to meet Tom Cruise. What? And I was like 24, 25 or something. And he's like, come on over. And I go up and Tom's coming down the stairs

with like four bodyguards. And I don't know how, Will's watching me. And I don't know how I had the guts to do this. I went up and pretended to put a brown dot on his wrist. A poison dart on his wrist. And the four bodyguards moved on me and were going to kill me before I started mouthing to Tom.

And he went, and he started laughing. And he gave me like a hug and was like, this guy's okay. But for a second they thought I was going to murder them. That's awesome. Because he geeked out. We used to go down to my old apartment on the west side in New York. And we used to go watch movies downtown.

And then we'd see like, we saw all those movies down in those theaters. And we saw The Mission Impossible and all the born movies. And then we, do you remember we'd like run up and we'd be all gacked out on like M&Ms and popcorn or whatever. And we'd run up the west side highway.

Just fucking like kids who were so stoked. Running as if we're like this. Like we'd run like Tom. By the way, I'm in my like mid to late 30s. Oh my God. Mid to late 20s. We used to yell, take the shot with holding our ears. I love that.

To people on the street. And then we found out Frank Marshall, our buddy was one of the producers. And we made him tell us stories. We apprehended him. And then he ended up sending us wrap gifts from the latest born movie. He sent one.

He sent a metal case with like T-shirts and stuff to my house. And Will was so funny because I went, look, look, what do you got? And he goes, but I didn't get one. And I was like, no, I know. And he goes, so what do we do? We had to split up. We had to split up stuff.

Did you get invited to Conan's Christmas party, John? Ask him, did you get invited to Conan's Christmas party? I bet you a million bucks he did. No? No. How about Emily? Conan O'Brien? Yeah.

That's right. Yeah. No, I didn't. And now I'm really sad. I'm really sad about that. When we were in New York and, and, and by the way, Krazy used to work at Conan. When he was living in L.A.

He was an intern there for real. It was his script intern. Yeah. So my job, all the other interns, I got the writing script intern and the greatest part of the job. I couldn't believe it was everybody gave him hair and makeup and all the producers are telling him all these notes of the guests and stuff.

And then they all would clear out for 30 seconds, as Max Weinberg would hit the drums, and I would have 30 seconds alone with Conan where he rehearsed the monologue just to me. Oh, wow. And I would cry laughing every single day. And at the end of the summer, well, what was my favorite joke?

He's like, yeah, you think these jokes are funny? And I said, yeah. And he goes, really? I thought Kids Your Age just went home, smoked weed and listened to Pearl Jam. That's pretty big. And I was like, well, you're not far off. But then at the end, he brought me into his office.

The last day we were all leaving. He brought me into his office, gave me a Sam Adams, said, I know you're from Boston, here's the Sam Adams. I just wanted to say thank you for laughing every night. You have no idea what it means to have laughter be the last thing you see before you go on stage. And I cried. Oh, he's the greatest.

I mean, you know what, I burst into tears. Of course you didn't. Conan is the greatest. I'm bursting into tears hearing this. Wait, that's how old I am. And by the way, later, he was my first talk show. So the first talk show I ever did was Conan. So when I went back to do Conan, it was, again, I cried.

But I was walking through the hallways and all these people I used to work for were like, hey, this is great. We love the office. We're so proud of you. And I was like, it was so intense. And then the guy pulling the curtain was the nicest guy ever.

And he was like, we're all so proud of you. Go out there and have a great time. And I blacked out, literally don't remember anything until I was standing in the seat. And Conan was already shaking my hand and he saw that I was having a panic attack. And he was like, don't worry, buddy, it's gonna be great. And pushed me into the chair.

And that's how I was. Wow. Cut to Kimmel says repeatedly that you and Arnett are two of the best, if not the best talk show guests in the history of- Oh, that's very nice. Of showbiz. Yeah.

No, I think it's just I'm so happy to be humiliated for Kimmel any time he wants. I think the lowest was I dressed as a shrimp for something and I don't know what it was, but I was a shrimp. I dressed as a shrimp. On his show. Yeah.

I was in a skin tight Spider-Man outfit once out in the Hollywood, out in front of the man's shop. Oh, yeah, on Hollywood Boulevard. Oh, I remember that. He loved, well, you guys were, you guys, I mean, those are pretty heady days, especially back then when you guys, when you moved up there and you and Kimmel lived

directly across the street from each other for a number of years. That was some fun times. Oh my God, the absolute best. Honestly, it's the thing we miss most about LA. It was the hardest decision because leaving, leaving those guys, leaving you guys was, it was really, really hard.

Yeah. Now, speaking of traveling around and stuff, it's gotta be so tough that you and Emily being as busy as two people could ever be, I mean, if you wanted to be working nonstop, you both could be, but you seem to both decide not to be working at the same time as much as you can avoid it.

So that you can be with the kids and play mom or dad on the other person's set. You just kind of take turns, is that right? Yeah, we do the best we can to take turns. It's been, it was going pretty well until COVID because that just pushed everything back. So we had this whole plan. She was gonna do this, this amazing show

that just came out the English. It's one of the best things I've seen in a long, long time if you haven't seen it. And she shot that in Spain. And I was doing Jack Ryan for two years straight because we shot two seasons back to back. And we took it. Which is also incredible.

I mean, that's gotta be such a difficult shoot. No kidding. I mean, Jesus, God, it's a lot. Yeah, exhausting. It was crazy. I mean, definitely shooting, I think we were the second production back after COVID. I think it was Mission Impossible and us.

And so you have 350 people showing up very courageously to work and saying we're gonna get back to work. And we were in nine countries in season three during COVID and all that travel. And then season four, I think we were in five more countries. And so it was nuts. I mean, it's so much fun. And I have such a great time playing the role.

But yeah, I mean, shooting that is a, it's a whole different thing from being behind the desk for 10 years. Yeah, I mean, don't you miss that a nice predictable air-conditioned sitcom on a stage in Burbank? Oh yeah. Just LED lights, nothing changes. Yeah.

Granddad, fucking cool your slippers for a second. We're talking to people who are out in the world. Craft service table over there, got you a dressing room in the stage. Like you go to craft service unless they've served cardboard and almonds. You're not going there. Hey, Krazy, it was such a departure though for you

truly actually kind of on what Jason was saying. Like you, first of all, I gotta say, one of the great things about spending, you know, the last couple of years about being at home a lot and whatever, one of the good things was catching up on a lot of things. And there were so many big pockets of the office

that I didn't see at the time. And I talked about it with Carell when we had him on. I never fully appreciated. And I watched it with my kids. My older kids, Archie and Abel just wanted to watch. That's all they wanted to watch. All of it, every single episode. We watched all the way through.

And I never, I feel like I never really got a chance to say back then when you were doing it. And we talked a lot at that time, you know, when you were doing the show, we spent so much time together. I never got a chance to say, how fucking great you were on that show. How funny, how in the zone you were,

how just dialed in you were a man. Honestly, it was, it's really, really, really good. And it lives forever. That is so nice. Super small and subtle too. Like, and that was like what, you hadn't done a tonnish it before that, right? No, I was a waiter.

Yeah, I was gonna say, tell us how you got it. Yeah. No, that guys, that coming from you guys, that means so much to me. Really, it really does. I don't think Sean really agreed. I just said it should come, shouldn't mean a lot. John, tell me how you got the part for people

that don't know like me, like, what was that like? Was it offered? Did you have to read for it? I love this. Oh yeah, I definitely had to read for it. I was, I thought you were saying my question. No, no, no, no. No, I really was waiting tables.

I hadn't done hardly anything. And I had done a couple of commercials and I got a manager. Jason, you played a waiter once, right? Sorry. Sorry. Paid a waiter, paid a waiter once. Had you seen the British office before you read for it?

Oh yeah, I was a huge fan, huge fan of that. And so waiting tables, I'm watching the black DVD of the office when it came to America. I remember it came in that black case and it was just, it was amazing. Went to a record store and picked it up. No, so I was such a huge fan of that and they called, I'll never forget actually,

they called and said, would you ever come in to read for this show? And I said, great. And I had actually been out in LA testing for things that I didn't get. And I met Alison Jones who, The great Alison Jones. Cast your show, Arrested and cast our show.

And she said, it's so nice to meet you. I have something coming called the office, look out for it. And I said, okay, great. And they called me and they said, will you come in for the part of Dwight? And I remember, Yeah, I'm waiting tables.

Yeah, I'm coming in. No, I said no. I literally knew the show so well. I said, and my manager think, no, he thought I was insane. And I said, if I'm gonna do it, I wanna put my best foot forward. And he said, you know,

they're not very happy about this. They might not call again. I said, I would just rather not ruin my chance by doing that role. And then like six weeks later, they called and they said, can you come in for the role of Jim? And I said, sure.

So I read for that. And then I remember I tested in New York first at 30 Rock. I was terrified. I was literally shaking. And there were seven dudes that looked exactly like me. Like all gyms just sitting on a bench. And each one after one went in and auditioned

and probably had a great time. I heard tons of laughter. Sure. The worst though. It was just me. It was just me waiting. And the casting director came out and goes, so we're just gonna take a quick lunch for an hour.

So we'll come, we'll get to you when we're back. And I said, oh, just one more. Ooh, one more, one more. No? Okay. Waiting is so nerve wracking. So everybody leaves. Everybody came back with whatever the sweet greens was back then.

And I watched everybody come in and out like hundreds of people. And then this guy sat across from me and he said, are you nervous? And I said, no, you either get these things or you don't. But what I'm really nervous for is whoever's making the show because it is such a perfect show and Americans have a way of just ruining every good show

that comes out of the UK. And he goes, well, I'm Greg Daniels. I'll sure as hell try not to do that. And I went, oh, God. And Greg Daniels created the American office for people who don't know. Created the show. Yeah, he was.

Oh my God. The good news is he claims that it was one of the reasons I got the part because when I walked into the room, not out, they were laughing. It's a real Jim thing to say, by the way. That's what I'm talking about. You know, it's perfect.

No, when I walked in, everyone was laughing and it wasn't laughing with you. It was laughing at, just pointing and laughing at how stupid I was. Oh my God. And when I did it, Greg said, you got the part because honesty is the best policy. And I remember that.

I remember that. And I was like, sure, man. Oh, great. Did they give it to you in the room? No. No, I then went to LA and tested. I remember I flew with Jim Gaffigan. Yeah.

Bob Odenkirk, they were both testing for Michael Scott. And I remember they split up the New York kids and the LA kids. And so the New York kids went first and everybody left. And I was the last person in the New York group. And I didn't know what to do and all these LA kids were going in and they were testing.

And I'd been there probably five or six hours. And I finally just said, oh my God, they forgot to send me home. So I walked onto the set, the producers, they actually shot on the set of the show. They had already built a version of the set. Up in the valley there. Yeah, it was, well, we moved to Chandler Valley.

We started in Culver City. There was like a Culver City thing. Wow. But I went up and I said, I think you forgot to send me home. I'm gonna leave now. And from behind like a wall, you heard somebody go, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that.

Don't do that. Give us 30 more minutes. And I said, okay. And in walked this girl. And I literally took one look this girl. And I said, oh, that's the person who gets the part. If I could ever read with her, I'd have one shot at this show.

And it was Jenna Fisher. I knew she was gonna get the role as soon as she walked in the room. Wow. And then we, they said, we just want you to read with one other person. And I said, who? And they were like, Jenna Fisher.

And I went, yes. Cause I thought if she, if I at least get to read with her, I'll have a shot and we read together. And I remember it was, as we walked out, I turned to her and I said to her, you're gonna get this part. And she goes, oh my God, I thought you would get this part.

And it's very sweet when we both got the part as we both tell the story, it's true. The first thing I did was jump on my couch and scream. And then the second thing I said was who's playing Pam? And they said, this girl named Jenna Fisher. And I said, yes. Wow, isn't that great? Cause then you could do something.

That's a story, that's amazing. Yeah. And we will be right back. SmartLess is brought to you in part by Viori Clothing, a new perspective on performance apparel. The product is incredibly versatile. It can be used for just about any activity like running, training, swimming, yoga,

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Additional terms apply. And now, back to the show. Willie, you have a similar experience when you read for Arrested, right? You remember that when you left when we walked out? We walked out. Well, I actually involves rain. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Yeah, and I flew out to LA as well, and I was super sick. And I gave one of those auditions in New York when I read for it. I was like, whatever. I just kind of did it. And then they called, and they were like, you got to come out to LA, but you have to sign your test deal before you go.

And Prince Potter kept calling me, going my manager. Peter. And I go, oh, Peter. Yeah, and they kept going, I know, sweet Pete. And they go, you got to sign your thing. And he's like, they keep calling. And I go, hey, man, if they're so excited about me calling, why don't you renegotiate?

Because they obviously want me to do this. So I said that at first, and I was kind of joking. But I fly out as me and Tony Hale. And Tony and I go out and I read for, I was there all weekend. And we worked with the Russo brothers who are now of Marvel fame. And then, and with Mitch Hurwitz, whom I just spoke to about an hour ago.

And they go, you got to go and read. It was me and Rainn Wilson. And God, who is the other? Do you remember? French Stewart? No, he had already done it. But somebody else, they had a bunch of like good guys and guys who had been working.

Rainn was still sitting, you went in before. So yeah, but a bunch of guys, Rainn had already done six feet under, like he had a real career going. And I was a fucking zero. And so we go in and I read and I come back out. And then the other guy came out and then Mitch followed him out and said, you got the part, you got the part. And I look over and I see Rainn still in the waiting room

right there. Still running aside. And I've been that guy. That's why, John, when you're talking about being and waiting and then going to lunch or whatever, it's such a, already it's such a vulnerable position when you go out and you're putting it all out of the line and you want it. And I see him there and I've been in that position

so many times. And I just went to Mitch. I went, oh, no, no, please. And then I go, please, please, please, please. That guy's Rainn Wilson's right over there. Hasn't even read yet. Hasn't even read. They didn't even.

You were like, sorry, did my manager get to you about the renegotiation? Is it more? Did you talk to Peter Principato? Everybody followed out of the room, walked right past Rainn. They were done. But the good news is, about a month later,

he reads for the office. It was like a year later, he reads for the office. And would have been unavailable. Just so you know, I personally believe, Arrested is, I think, my favorite show. I think it's my favorite show. No, it's true. Stop, Sean.

No, I remember... No, Sean's never seen it. Yeah, I know. I know, Sean. You've seen too, Sean. You've said you've seen too. Two episodes, yeah. It's fantastic.

It's the best show I've ever seen. Those were great ones. No, but I remember when that show came on, it was such a big deal, because the office had come out, the British one, and that level of comedy was untouched. And then you guys came out with this whole other lane that was so good.

And I just remember thinking, if I could be on a show that good, that has the confidence to... My favorite thing was how you guys brought jokes back at the end of an episode that you had barely touched on at the beginning. But you guys were that good, if not better, and people were actually watching your show.

It stayed on for what, 10 years? You guys were a big hit. And I remember, you know what's weird? I just mentioned Janine Graffalo. She had sent Amy these, she had these tapes of the office that she brought up before. Like right around the time

they were about to start airing them on BBC America when Jason and I started watching, and I'd seen these tapes, and I was like, holy fuck, we'd already done the pilot. But I was talking to, I was like, this show is fucking, and it seemed like one.

And then we started watching all these episodes, and we were obsessed with it. We were studying it. And then it was like, I remember them saying, at the time, actually, we thought that we were gonna maybe get canceled, Arrested Development,

the entire time we were on the air. And like week to week. And we had been on the air for six months or something, and they were starting to put together the office, and Peter Prince Botto, my manager, said, hey, Allison Jones wants to know, if Arrested falls apart, would you come in, would you ever consider going in for the office?

I don't know if I ever told you that. For Jim. For the part of Jim and Pam. Oh my God. They were gonna make them into one character. Oh my God. Yeah. Just to save a little money,

they're just a wig away. And they're gonna call them jam. Yeah, they're gonna call them jam. God, that makes sense. Well, there goes my spin-off. There's a lot. And I said, yeah, anyway, we made that pilot.

Jim. That was, wow. Yeah, we made that pilot. That's why they won't, that's why they won't do a reunion, because my idea was jam, and they'd already done it. Hey, John, I have another,

we'll be right back after this. Yeah, I have another question coming right back from the rest of the development rewatch podcast. Get us back on track. I wanna know of all the stuff that you're doing, because you are so now prolific as a director, and everybody is celebrating you in that way, and rightfully so,

because you just are incredible. Do you have a goal of a film or a type of film that you really wanna conquer, that you haven't conquered yet, either like a genre or a specific story, anything in particular? Me, mom and son together, and I was going, please say musical,

musical comedy, musical comedy. Musical comedy. You know, the truth is, like I said, I never knew that I would have the opportunity to be a director, so I said I'm gonna do this. Just ask another question, now that you are.

Okay, copy. Copy. Fuck, I'm sorry. Let me just redo that, sorry. Let me throw this tissue away. No more tears, no more tears. I think you should remake the producers and put Sean in there as Gene Wilder.

And I'll play Zero Mastel. There you go. Be honest, I can't wait Sean. I can't wait to see Good Night Oscar. Can't wait. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. Thank you.

Look, he knows it's April. Look at this. We'll all go together. At the Barbarasco Theater. What is it? The Barbarasco, yes. Barbar, the Vinnie Barbarino. The Vinnie Barbarino Theater.

Has any show received more consistent press on a lean-in than this fucking Good Night Oscar? This thing better open. Let me tell you something. They better be fucking good now. You shit the bed during previews. No, so no specific, like, oh my God, I have this in my back pocket.

I don't care if it takes 20 years to make. I have this passionate story I want to tell. No, the way it goes for me is I fall in love with something and an idea that, and I just do exactly that. So this idea that I had for imaginary friends, I never thought I would do sort of a comparable movie would be like E.T. or something like that.

It's sort of a, and I never thought I'd do something like that. Certainly never thought I'd do genre at all. Didn't think, I could never watch horror movies, ever. I was so scared to watch horror movies, and so when I directed a horror movie, that was terrible. John, remember when we went to see I Am Legend? You ain't any...

Oh my God. And The Dark Knight came on. Oh my God. Oh no. What happened? What? Poor John. We just kept doing it over, and over, and over.

Cause that guy was the star of the show. That guy. No, but Will, do you remember we sat in this IMAX, and all of a sudden Will and I, again, were in this tear of just, you know, big action movies? You guys just burning afternoons, is that what it was? I mean... Just trying to get to dinner somehow?

Oh my God. No, but Will, do you remember they played the first 10 minutes of The Dark Knight? I was about to say that. And we went, oh my God, oh my God. We've heard about this where they like switch a movie to test the audience. We're a test audience.

And then it stopped after 10 minutes. And it went... I don't... That was fucking crazy for that. What do you mean they stopped the movie after 10 minutes? They stopped the actual... They literally showed the opening of The Dark Knight.

The whole thing is like a special thing tied to I Am Legend. But it didn't even say like this preview, it just started. Oh, that's... And we were like, oh my God, we're in a test. We're in a test. At first we didn't even know it was Dark Knight

because you don't know it. And we're like, what the fuck is going on? And then we're like, oh shit, they're going to show the fucking movie. And then the Joker came on screen and we were like, oh my God. It was wild. And then...

And we would do that fucking months to each other out of the blue just... Wild. I like that. I remember Amy hating it, Will. Do you remember? She'd go, guys, stop. She's talking.

And we were like... Shit. She hated it so much. You starting to sniff out any talent there with the eight and the six year olds? They want to act or direct or sing or anything like that, like mom and dad? They went through phases of it,

but I don't think either of them right now are wanting to do it. Would you let them? If they said they want to. I don't think they know that I'm an actor. So they're thinking I'm an accountant. Are they... Do you think they're going to be tall?

Oh yeah, Hazel's very tall. Why is she? But it's not so tall, but yeah, Hazel's very tall. Just all things. But John's family, his parents are both really tall. His brothers are really... I'm the shortest. He's the shortest of his family, he's six, four.

Everybody is huge. If you ever want to... Anytime I spend time around John's family, I'm always like, fuck, man, I feel short. And I usually feel tall, especially around you two idiots. I feel like a really a person of substance. And then, because tall people are better. And so then, and I know I'm going to get a lot of pushback

on that, but John, as it turns out, was at the time for many years, John, what's the stat about your birth weight? Oh, I was the biggest baby in Boston, I think for... I was 11 pounds, 12 ounces. Good God, that's three children. Yeah, it was three children. And you were the last one? Yeah, I was the last one.

I'll never forget the story, Will loves the story. My mom went to a doctor's appointment and was with a doctor and a nurse walked by, a gentleman walked by and literally looked like he was in a horror movie. And he said to my mom, he goes, I was there. And she goes, excuse me? And he goes, I was there when you gave birth to that baby.

And my mom goes, well, I have three kids. And he went, no, you're a big one. But this guy was scarred for life. And then he went, and then he went, whaaaaa! I love that story, I can't get over it. That's really funny. Yeah, I probably wasn't the biggest baby in Boston.

I was probably the biggest baby at that hospital for a while. But yeah. That's really funny. I was there. I was there. He was sliding in, shuffling like a zombie. He says, Krazy, fuck, it's so great to see you, dude. Thank you for coming and doing this, man.

This was so awesome. Thank you guys. I miss you, man, I miss you so much. When's the in-person stuff again? How long is it? So you're there for another eight weeks, then you're going to be in New York. And then I'll be in New York indefinitely. You know what that'll time out to?

It'll time out to carpooling to Sean Hayes' Broadway show playing at the Velasco. By the way, if you guys come for opening night, let's all go together. Let's all go together. Done. Done. Let's all go together.

I would love that. I can't. That'll be really fun. And honestly, Sean, congratulations. That's amazing. Thanks, man. It's been about 15 years in the making. Wow.

The reviews are off the chart. This is going to take everybody. This is going to be a smash at obviously. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. But anyway, Johnny, it's so good to see you.

I haven't seen you in so long. Please let's get together when you come back. I would love it. And thank you guys. This was wonderful to hang out again. It's been too long. I miss you guys. Sean, love you, buddy.

I miss you too. Love you, man. All right, guys. Thanks. Bye, Johnny. Eliminium. Oh, nice. He knows how to slam it.

He knew. He couldn't wait to slam it. He's a listener. He couldn't wait to slam it. That's such a... He's a true listener. I mean, he is a listener. As you know, he's texted...

Jason, he's texted you too. How much he likes listening to the show. And I tried to put it together for a while. I obviously knew he was coming on for a while. And we were just trying to time it out for a couple months. That was a good surprise. Wait, he was really supposed to go on the day of or after Emily? I'm pretty sure it was the day after or two days after.

Wow. That would have been wild. And that's why you guys... And you guys were after... We had Emily on the show after the record. And when she left the show, we were talking about it. And you guys were, we got to get John on it. And I was like, Jesus fucking Christ.

I know. I kept going, no, I know. And you knew it. You knew it the whole time. Thanks. What a great guy. This really sucks. He doesn't live in LA anymore.

I know it does. It changed everything. I know. Why don't we just move to New York? I know. He lives in New York, right? Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, we've talked about the three of us about and fantasized about all of us just living there full time again. I know I used to live there for over 20 years. I know. I know. Do you miss it, Will?

I do. I did. When I first sold my apartment, it was like five, God, coming up on six years ago. And I was like, no, I'm just like, so LA now I really, I really miss it. I do. It's hard to. What about even just for friendships? Like it'd be like, guys are terrible about maintaining friendships, right?

I will speak for myself. I just feel like, well, it'll just, we'll just pick it up right where we left off. And for the most part, that's true. But I mean, maybe in our last third half quarter of our lives, we'll just throw it all away and just do friendships. No, no career. We'll do that with the retire. For sure.

But that's one of the great things about when you are in New York and, you know, obviously Krasnay talked so much back then in the day. We would, yeah, we would burn afternoons and go to see movies and stuff. But when you're in New York, you kind of do that more than we do in LA. We were so sequestered. You walk everywhere. In Los Angeles. And the three of us, obviously, because the weekends we spend time together or whatever

and Jason, we play golf. Like if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't see each other. Right. You know, it's funny. You guys know Mike O'Malley and your friends are them and my old friend. And I remember him once saying, like, when you, people getting mad, like that you don't hang out anymore. And he used to always say, yeah, life happens.

And then when you see each other, you pick back up and you don't go like, hey, why don't we hang out? You don't get into that shit. You just go, hey, I love you. And like, here we go. You pick it back up. But like, but, but, but here's the thing, like a marriage, friendships are also work. Yeah.

Right. You have to put the effort in in order to receive it back. So I think if you think of it that way, that's how I think of it. Yeah. You think of our friendship is a lot of work. Too much. Good to know. Good to know.

I feel like you guys are staring at my box here. Well, we were when you were flossing your teeth. Hi. Hi, girl. So, but Johnny, we love him. We do love him. And it was great. And I'm so happy that we've now had.

I was thinking also, two of our friends, but certainly two guys that I used to spend, you know, a lot of time with and, and still do in various, you know, cause we were, like we were just saying life kind of happens. But two guys who had different times in my life, I've considered to be, it almost sounds patronizing to say little brothers. It's just because they're younger than me, Kraz and Bradley have begun on to become these great directors. And so is this other guy we're looking at, Jason Bateman.

And so was Jay. But yeah. Also younger than you. Please. Looking. Sorry. Let me finish. Oh, that's true.

Go ahead. I guess that's fair. That's, that's cause you have all that dirty hair. You know, that was great to talk to John. Very, very difficult for the interview to be over because, you know, at the end of it, you got to say bye, you know. Yeah. Bye.

So let's just, let's just make it real this time, you know, it's hard to say bye to John. I'm trying to make it real and also bye. So bye. Give your best crying bye right now. Soft, soft, bye, soft, cry, bye, cry, bye, will, or Sean, what's your best cry by? That was it. Oh, will. Hi.

Here's mine. Ready? Yeah. Oh, God, I had a little bit of vomit in it too. So I guess they'll let us know, they'll, they'll let us know which one they want to go with. My availability is, thank you. You swallowed that bye. Fuck.

That was a good one. Smart. Smart. Smart. SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjurf. SmartLess. Your next episode will be out in a week wherever you listen to podcasts or you can listen to

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