SmartLess - "Justin Theroux"

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

Our knockaround guy from the old neighborhood, Mr. Justin Theroux, arrives wearing two t-shirts, and departs in only one. Justin is an actor, writer, artist, and performer, known most notably for his shirtless airplane flights and pre-made smoothie recipes. He’s also written lil’ things like Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2, and is starring in The Mosquito Coast. But sometimes we just love him for how he stirs the gravy. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, good morning, or good afternoon, or evening, whatever it is, I'm Jason. The guy interrupting and mumbling is Will, and it looks like Sean Hayes. I'm over here. There he is. Hi. Did you just take nappies? Yeah. I hope our listeners are still awake, because this is smartless.

Here it comes. Smart. Smart. Smart. Smartless. It means so much to me, like a birthday, you're a pretty view. Sorry, I just wanted to say that lyric. I had to get that out.

OCD style. Go ahead. Where did the new love for Duran Duran come from? I love Duran Duran. Archie or Abel? No. you've always talked about or done. What's far-fetched?

First of all, Shawn, you know the restaurant, Jones on Third, what do I do all the time? Anytime somebody mentions it, I go, Jones on Third, two minutes later. Duran Duran is always here, man. It's always, it's right, it's a click away. It's right on my desktop, okay? But why not Pet Shop Boys or Wham or ABC?

Why not, you know, why not anything, Jason? Why not anything? Did you have like a really special experience at a Duran Duran concert and that's what's, you know, really entrenched it for you? It was the soundtrack of my youth. Did you buy the albums, Duran Duran album? Of course I did.

Okay, shh. Why am I shushing? Why are you shushing me? Because do you know this commercial with that use of the Pet Shop Boys, because Jason brought up Pet Shop Boys, where it's like, I got the brains. You got the bra, let's relax a little bit.

Oh yeah, that guy driving in the car. That guy just driving, and then the head ornament sings, and I don't understand, I don't get it. I don't either. Actually, you know what, I think that guy's got a good voice. It's sure, no, everybody involved is wonderful. I just don't get the product and the song,

and I don't know what's happening. I don't either, it's effective though. We're talking about it right now, but we don't know the product. Because here I got, here I'm sitting with a couple of Hollywood insiders who are out of touch with what the rest of us. Elite Hollywood insiders.

Sorry, I forget, I forget, right. Sorry, you're right, you're absolutely right. I stand corrected, Hollywood Elite Insiders. Thank you. And I, I'm Joe, I'm like Tracy, and Shawn's sister and I are very similar in a lot of ways. We're both normal, knock around people from the neighborhood.

We've got a name on her now. Her name's Tracy. It's Tracy, it's always been Tracy, by the way. We've never referred to her by her name. Of course we have. I think Shawn just remembered it, actually. Jason, I'm now starting to understand. I'm now on a man decide in your,

in your, in your lifetime battle, because you don't pay attention. She's right. Well, I'm constantly thinking about me. I don't have time to hear anything else. What did you, one time I said to you, this is at least almost 20 years ago, we were watching football and Amanda came in

and she was like giving you grief about something and I go, wow, that's a lot. And do you remember what you said to me? No. You said, I got her on a different channel. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a different volume slider. It's usually down around one or two.

And by the way, and she knows, and she's like, oh God, but you know what, now I'm on Amanda's side. Cause you're not paying attention. It's always been Tracy. We've always said Tracy. I'm one of those guys that's probably gonna fake a hearing loss much, much earlier than it's actually happening.

So I don't have to answer too many questions. I'm gonna give myself an hour. I may just have like a fake hearing aid for years. Oh man, what a great sentence, genius. Have you ever noticed, you've already got the dumb look on your face. I mean, that's built in. I go to anger a lot faster than I used to with age

because yesterday I was upstairs looking out the window in the backyard. Staring out the window. Sitting in a chair. Staring out the window. Okay, granddad. Thinking about my actions in my future. And I looked up and I saw our dog eating poop again.

And I was so upset. I was so upset. I screamed down to Scotty. And I go, Scotty, Ricky's eating his poop again. And he goes outside. I go, no, inside at the dining room table with a nice glass of wine. Yeah, outside.

And he got so upset at me cause I came back so fast with such sarcasm. When you saw the dog in the backyard were you worried that it was gonna start digging up all the gold that you've buried everywhere in your backyard? Like a crazy old person. Were you worried about that?

But he's got that little sonar thing, don't you find it? Just in case. I gotta train him where it's the most disgusting thing in the world. Okay, so, you know, speaking of disgusting, well, not really, it's a terrible segue, but our guest today is a real catch, huh?

Well, our guest is a real catch. First of all, our guest is incredible, talented, multi-talented in lots of different ways. Our guest is an artist, our guest is a writer, our guest is a performer, our guest is all those things. I once said to our guest, I've seen you on the beach and I've seen you on TV, two of a billion stars that mean so much to me.

Like a birthday or a pretty view, but then I'm sure that you know it's just for you. It's not real. Our guest is Justin Thoreau. Oh! Hi. Oh my God. It's sweet Lord, look at you. He's in disguise too.

Wow. Are you in disguise? It's a really aggressive reveal. Yeah. And it only works, it's great for podcast. You look like Bobby Valentine when he was trying to pretend he was not on the, Bobby Valentine on the Mets bench. That's a reference to not everybody's gonna get.

Listen, our Justin has a, about a 40 pound mustache on his upper lip and he's about to tell us why. 40 pounds, yeah. I just started a new job. So the beard had to go and we left him a stash. And what's the job? This is the Watergate thing, yeah? Yeah, Watergate, I mean G Gordon Liddy.

Oh, that's great. It's a film about Watergate or a play or? It's a limited series for HBO and with Woody Harrelson. And we were just about to start out, isn't it? What's that? Isn't it your brain, your brain baby a little bit? No, not at all. It was a totally different person's brain baby.

It was something that happened. Brain baby is not an expression. Both of you stop using it. Exactly. Justin, I'm so, hang on a second. Justin, I'm so excited you're here. I mean, it's so good to see you, JP. Listener, this is a great answer

to a long-running question inside my head. Thank you, Tracy. Of which one of us was gonna bring you on the show? Yeah, it was a battle. And I can't believe it took this long. Well, I can't believe it took this long either. And I'm honored that it was Will and I'm disappointed it wasn't you.

Yeah, well, we've been talking a lot about you. I don't know if you're aware. That's how I heard about the podcast. And I'm excited because I don't know you as well as these guys do. I know. So it's like we're meeting for the first time. You guys do know each other.

We've met before. I think I was trying to remember it. We had a dinner somewhere. I don't think you'd like each other. No, boy. Yeah, I don't think we have anything. You're both who have been united. What about, can we talk for a second?

Listen, I know you can't see this, but I'm looking at a really gorgeous place behind you. That's not your apartment in New York. Is it? That's a different angle. No, this is a place I've taken up residence and upstate New York. Do the owners know that?

No, not yet. No, not yet. I know you're squatting. Good for you. Squatting. Squatters rights are so vigorous in New York state. You can walk into any house and just take it over. I live here now.

Basically. Wait, I want to hear more. So it's Watergate, but you didn't write it. No, I didn't write it. I'm serious. But now that you mentioned G. Gordon-Liddy, that is a great description of that mustache. It is the perfect G. Gordon-Liddy mustache.

It's a G. Gordon-Liddy mustache. Are you going to shave your head too? I mean, it's a car accident. What's happening up there right now. Can we see it? That's a real kind of, it's all dyed black. That's pretty short, but you can, was it his shorter? No, it wasn't actually, because we're playing in 71.

So he was kind of a little bit freer with his hair in the 60s. When did he have the full cue ball? Yeah, at what point was that? That was later on. Those are the Miami Vice days. Yeah, they are. Are we doing those days in the show? No, we are sticking just to the break-in.

God damn, you look good with that short hair. You look really good. And the glasses that change with the light inside and out, those are part of the character or those just yours? No, these are mine just so I can see you. These are my readers. So I can, we're all wearing, except for Will's not wearing glasses.

I know. We're all wearing Jason's glasses are so strong. You know what I do need though? I do need like our friend Jen, she's got those glasses that have sort of the stuff to read at the bottom and then the stuff to see far at the top. That's what these are.

Oh my God. What's it called? Bifocals, you fucking. Oh, this is Planet Earth. Everything can be referenced through a Duran Duran song. By the way, Justin, where do you fall on Duran Duran? I love Duran Duran. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you. Tremendous band. Now, JT, so. Check your Wikipedia page, Will, for your next question. I'm not gonna ask him about his question. I know he's from DC. I know his mom is Phyllis. I know that, you know,

he's a graduate of Bennington College. I know. You see, I didn't even look. He's a genius. I didn't even look. And I know he's from the neighborhood. We used to live in the same neighborhood, the same knock around neighborhood.

We used to live in exactly the same neighborhood. I want to know, I want to know because you're a creature of the theater, like I am when I spend a lot of time in the theater. He loves the boards. You still love doing that? Does you prefer one over the other? Or do you like crave to read?

You know, I get a lot of, I get a lot of flack for saying that no one gives me any flack because I haven't said it. But here it comes. I don't love doing theater anymore. What? I just don't like it. We're gonna add a record scratch.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry, we'll add it in. No, but the, I mean, I just, I don't find it, it's fun for the first like week, like doing Williamstown or something like that I would do, but I'm sure, or maybe you haven't experienced this, but you can do a play

and then you get like a, like sort of a shrug of a review and then all of a sudden half your half house empties out and then you're doing it for the next three months. Tracy's given a big amen to this. I know. Well, Justin, how long did you do? You did a bunch of theater in New York over the years, I know, and you have extensive resume in that department.

So you had the, what was the big one you did? Shopping and fucking was a big hit, right? Whoa, whoa, whoa, language. It was a, yeah, it was a small theater big hit. Small theater big hit, but you got a great review. Yeah. It's a good name for an autobiography. I was just gonna say.

Was that a couple months run? What was it? I forget what that was. Was that a decent run? It was at the New York theater workshop. I don't know. I think we did it for three months. I can't remember.

It was a great cast too, right? It was, yeah. Me, Jenny Dundas, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Torkle Campbell, a Canadian. So you don't like the fact that you have to, but you don't do musicals because plays are only like two, three months, right? Musicals.

Shut up, Sean. Shut up. Shut up, Sean. Sometimes we just make each other laugh, Justin, and you're just gonna have to wait, okay? We love each other. That's why we're doing it. We're not doing it for the money or...

It's such an awful... You know, listener, Justin Thoreau is one of our best writers in Hollywood. Best of writers. But he is, he just can't find the time to fit it in because of all of his great acting opportunities too, right? So how do you... He's too handsome to write.

He's too handsome to write. I got sort of heartbroken by it because you start writing something and then you can work for something on for, you know, a year, year and a half, and then it can either go onto a shelf or someone buys your property and then it gets sort of just not made.

So it's, when it's working, it's fabulous. When it's not working. Just again, people who don't know, you've written tons of great things. The two of the bigger ones is Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2. Yeah, but Justin, like you, so you and I are roughly the same age.

I'm a little older than you, although you can't tell, but in the 90s, in the 90s, well, I'm not wearing glasses to cover my eyes, but in the 90s, in the 90s, just don't look at my neck. Don't look at my neck. Don't look at my neck. When you, that's what Hollywood is, just don't look at my neck.

That's the whole game. Don't look at my neck a lot. I'm creping. By the way, I'm going to start investing in turtlenecks. I'm going to open a turtleneck store in Beverly Hills and I'm going to kill it. Only Richard Ehrlich can wear a turtleneck. You should sport a Dickie.

I should. Richard Ehrlich gets a shout out on the podcast. God, we love Richard Ehrlich. So there we go. But you were in the 90s. I remember we didn't really know each other back then, but I'd see your name on sign-in sheets and audition and I'd kind of see you around.

You were a guy who was getting, who's doing a lot of stuff. You were doing, again, I brought up shopping and fucking, that was a great production that everybody was very cool and it was you and Phil Hoffman and a bunch, Jenny Dundas and a bunch of cool people. But what was that switch when you started, when writing became, there was a moment there

for a couple of years where you really prioritized writing. Was that a conscious decision? How did that switch kind of happen? No, it's like everything else in my stupid career. I just, it was kind of tripping upstairs. It was Ben Stiller, I was doing a play actually on Broadway and Ben Stiller's then girlfriend was in it. And I was a big Ben Stiller nerd for the Ben Stiller show,

which was a show that was recently on Fox and got canceled, but it was a big cult with Bob Odenkirk and everybody. Anyway, and I loved that show. And then I sort of, when he came backstage, I started sort of doing the show back to him like you do when you're a fan or something like that. And then we became friends.

And then I started sort of writing kind of, or helping him or working with him and sort of punching up his appearances on Letterman or Conan and stuff like that. And then he was really like, you should write, you should actually write something. And so basically he had a rough pitch for Tropic Thunder. And he said, what do you think of this idea?

And we basically just, for a couple of years, just batted it back and forth on email, just making each other laugh. And then that was really kind of the first thing I wrote. That's amazing. Amazing. That movie's so good. But it was luck.

I mean, it was also him kind of, he's an incredible writer and he is incredibly good at sort of, you know, knowing the language of comedy and how it works, you know, and structure. He's really good at structure as well. So it was sort of like getting a PhD in comedy from Ben Stiller. But it was very kind of him to encourage me to do it.

Justin, I was enjoying your, was it Esquire cover right now with you and the dog on the front? Thanks. I got the magazine, right? Yes? When you said you were enjoying it, what does that mean? Well, don't worry about that.

I mean, you're fucking enjoying it. I mean, you saw it. I was enjoying it. Which also means that it didn't even crack the spine. I enjoyed what I, the visual on the front. I know. Because Bateman can't fucking read. Yeah.

I, the great picture. I love the pictures. I love the pictures. And then I've opened it and then there were all these squiggling lines in blank. How did that, so when, how did the dog get on the cover? Was the dog just kind of like being annoying,

sniffing around your feet while you're trying to take the picture and the photographer says, ah, fuck it, just put the dog in the shot. Well, she was on set with when we were doing the photo shoot. And then at the end of the day, it was a classic, like time to just do this trick all the time. No.

And the photographer just said, why don't we get a picture of you in Kumo? You know? And so I said, all right, great. And she jumped up there. And then- And what was the cover for? Was it a story on you or a project or?

It's a story ostensibly on me, but you know, I've been promoting Mosquito Coast, the show that just came out. Mosquito Coast now streaming on all Apple. A great show and worth your time, everybody. Worth your time. If you want to see Mosquito Coast starring Justin Thoreau now on Apple.

There we go. Can I steal that little loop in the movie? Yeah, dude. Because Will's got a voice. Him saying that is worth a while. He's got good pipes for what he does. Thank you. And now back to the show.

I want to get back to the photo shoot. So it seems to me, I couldn't tell by the framing, but it looked like, because Kumo was taking up quite a bit of the shot, that your arms were bare, but you rarely wear sleeves anyway. I can't really tell what, were you topless before Kuma came into the shot?

And if so- I was topless before. This is a great quest. This is a great area. I'm glad we're in this area. You being topless reminded me of a flight we once took together. Can you walk the audience through your sleeping?

Let me tell you. Let me tell you something. Let's have it. So to listener- Oh, I think I know that Jason told me this story. This is a story. So I got an email, listener, there's a thing called a publicist.

And sometimes when people are about to write untruths about you, they show you what they're about to write. And they said, you want to comment? You say, no, I don't want to comment. That's absurd. Then I got an email saying, the inquirer, something is going to run a story that you're a nudist

and that you sleep naked. You get naked on airplanes. And we thought it was hilarious. And I was kind of toying with the idea of writing back, like a sort of a joke comment, to comment on the story. Obviously we just ignored it. And then like a year later, we were hanging out

and you reminded me, you said, God, remember when we went to fucking London together and you got fucking naked on the plane? And I was like, no, I didn't get naked. And you said, yeah, you did. And we were leaving LAX. We were getting on a night flight, you know, big long 11 hour deal.

And I do take my shirt off because I don't like to sleep in pictures. So then I assumed that I laid down. Hold on, that's outrageous. But it's a gym cabin. It's not very good. I don't care. It's a public space.

I'm in a cubicle. We were in first class. No, no. I slide the door down. You're right on the aisle. Listen, no, listen. I mean, I'm a total knock around that. I don't always fly first class.

First of all, this isn't a guy, I'm not humping it in 38J, okay? Exactly. I'm not putting my feet up on someone else's baby. He's in 2A because only a clown goes in the first row. Okay? So he's in 2A. But look, if you sleep with your shirt off

when you're at home, that doesn't mean that, hey, listen, this is just the way I sleep. When you're on a plane going across the Atlantic. This is Jason. This is Jason. So we get on the plane. We haven't even gotten off the tarmac.

He's already in the pajamas. They're comfortable, you know? Toothbrush in his mouth. He's got his slippers on. And it's just like you are at home. Yes. You recreate your home exactly when you're flying. Which is okay if it involves being clothed.

Now, you sleep, I'm imagining naked. Usually. How much do you imagine it? Well, it depends if the Esquire magazine's nearby. It seems like it's an ongoing imagination, right? Do you still to this day take your top off when you go to bed on a plane? Yeah, because that's gross.

I do, but I have a blanket so I cover myself in the top. That comes off. But I'm like underneath everything. He's not on the shuttle from New York to DC with his shirt off. Well, whatever plane he's on. You know, that little tiny blanket will come off about 20 minutes into your sleep.

It's a duvet. He's in the first. Everyone's asleep on the plane. It's pitch black in there. He's on Emirates. He's on British Airways. Your body's touching the germy seat from somebody else. Your body is shaking.

Next time I do this, I'm gonna take the blanket. I'm gonna cut a slit in the center of it. I'm just gonna wear it like I would make sense. That's exactly right. Now, wait, one time I flew from LA to London and also in first class and I didn't, we were so excited. I was with my friend Reina and we took Ambien

because we're like, we're gonna get on that clock real fast, right? I took Ambien and then that didn't work because we were so excited. Then I drank wine and I couldn't get to sleep, couldn't get to sleep. So while everybody's sleeping over the Atlantic Ocean, I went to each person in the cabin

about two inches from their lips and I pretended to kiss each person. And I went, good night, good night, good night. So you handle your drugs pretty well. This is one of those stories where they arrest you when you land and it's like Sean Hayes who fucking loses his mind. I one time took like,

I took like an Ambien and I was going on an overnight flight to Scandinavia and cause I don't wanna get too specific, you guys. And so I'm flying cause I want follow up questions. Where are you going? So I was going to Stockholm. Thanks for asking. So I'm flying and I take the Ambien

right as we pull away from the gate. We get on the tarmac and then there's like, obviously like a slow down on the tarmac. So I'm like, Jesus Christ. And I can't put my seat back yet. And I'm like, oh, what the fuck? We finally take off and my seat won't go back. I mean.

Oh my God. Freaking. Can you imagine? So I try and I can't call my publicist cause I'm in the air and I can't call on my Hollywood elite support. I can't call my Hollywood elite support crew. What about your team?

And I finally have to get, no, I had them come in, I helped. We mechanically put the seat back, but I'm in that Ambien. I'm 45 minutes into an Ambien and I've never been more out of it in my life. It was the weirdest experience. What's the matter with you guys?

Where do you get your Ambien? Do you cook it up and shoot it in the back of your knee or something? Like it's real easy to just push you to bed. I get it where everybody else gets it. It was the men's room at the Greyhound station, man. Oh, there's your problem. What are you talking about?

Anyway, Justin, thank you for being here. Justin, what's your current drug intake? What's your favorite right now? What are you enjoying? No? A cup of, a strong cup of coffee. There you go. Okay, my two favorite questions to ask,

on that line, what is the craziest drug you ever took and what was the reaction? And then I need a really funny, tragic stage, theater stage story. Oh my God, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry, Justin. We're just, those are my favorite questions. You got a kid here from a student newspaper

and we're fucking giving him a shot here. And then if you have an up-tempo song, we would love to hear that. And also, what's your favorite musical? Like, Sean, I told you earlier, shut up. I like hearing tragic theater stories. I'm trying to think of like, I mean, I'm sure I have good theater story.

I mean, I did, it was doing a production of Lute one time and have you ever tried to be a singer or a dancer? No, never tried to be a singer. Will you even sing in the shower or in your car when you're alone? You know what, you know what Justin does? Justin invented Sing For Real, which we've now done for years.

It's a great game. What is the greatest game? Wait, what is it? A song comes on the radio and the first time we did it, we were on vacation, Justin, you remember, and this like Rolling Stones, like Start Me Up or something came out and Justin just goes, he says to me, he goes,

Sing For Real. No, cause you were going like this, you were going like, stop me. You're kind of doing like the pussy for your version. No, you weren't doing it for real. And then I said, I said, don't fuck around, sing it for real. Like as if you were fucking auditioning

for the audition of a lifetime. And you can't cheat, you can't do a joke, you have to really sing it as if you think you're good. You have to go like, stop me up, stop me up, stop me up, stop me up, stop me up, stop me up, stop me up, stop me up, we got it. We got it.

Right, like that. But you could go even realer than that. No, we won't need another take. It's so embarrassing. It's the most embarrassing that makes me laugh so hard. But it's for people who are just humming along to something and you go, stop it. Yes.

Who sings this song? Sing For Real. Sing it for real or don't sing it? I'm shocked at how bad a singer I am and how bad a dancer I am too. I'd like to see both. I'd like to see you dance. Oh, it's just horrendous.

Justin, back to the first question. What's the weirdest drug you ever took and what was the reaction? The weirdest drug I ever took, I did once try to smoke that, because weirdly, I don't love smoking pot. It kind of makes me, or I can do like in mini, mini, mini doses.

And someone had some of that stuff, you get it like a head shop or something that's basically bath salts and I took a hit of that and I thought I was, I'm even getting anxious just talking about it. It made me feel like I was slipping away and I did not like that feeling. What was the next question?

Did you call anybody that you regret having called? God, that's who I call. I mean, in my head, I just dialed them up and up and get me out of here. Make this go away. Only time I ever pray is when I'm salting. When you were a kid, when you were a little kid, what made you want to be an actor?

Who did you see? Was it the pain of your childhood? Was it all the real pain of your childhood? The not seeing of my parents. Was it the door slamming behind your dad? Exactly, I'm just gonna go get a beer. What is a lung beer? He'll be back any minute.

I swear to God, you're gonna walk in that door as he misses me. But what was the big draw to acting for you? Was it a lifelong thing or was it something that you kind of stumbled into in college? It wasn't, I mean, again, it wasn't, I went in college, I studied visual art, a language, and drama, but I did them as like double majors.

The visual art, sorry, was that drawing? Cause I don't know if you guys know this, but Justin's like an incredible artist. Oh really? Oh my God. That's very kind. In fact, he can tattoo the hell out of your kid if you want to have one.

Oh my God. I have a great picture of him. Tell the story, tell the story. He takes a Sharpie to my... Well, no, they come over and they want tattooed because they know I can draw. But they don't ask for you to put... No, they ask for...

But then you turn my eight year old, at the time, maybe six year old daughter around. I say, I'm gonna do a big bat on your back. And then she goes, great. And then I do a big, huge Wu-Tang Sip. In Sharpie. And then Jason goes, hey man, she's graduating sixth grade tomorrow.

I'm like, well, is she wearing a crop top? I mean, come on. I know. Give me a break. She wanted a tattoo. All right, so you're in college, you're studying visual arts and you think to yourself?

And then moved to New York and I'm gonna try visual arts or acting. And I kind of tried both, you know? So I would audition and then I would get jobs, like doing like murals and t-shirts for clubs or bars. Anywhere where I could, I did a couple billboards. Did you have a tag crew? Yeah, I used to run with a pretty rough group of tangos.

What made you wanna go to New York though, is that what made you? It was that thing. That was the thing that I really wanted to do more than anything in the world. And it was, it's like, you know how some people just, when they're kids, they just go like, that's the place I'm gonna go

and that's where I wanna be. That was it for me. Like every movie I saw, you know. It was always movies like Rocky or Flash Dance, which were both in Philly, by the way. But it was, but I thought in my brain, they were in New York. So I was like, that's where I wanna go.

I've always had that lust for Manhattan and I've never been able to live there. You've done stints there. Yeah, but I've never had a place there. You know, I've never had a key on my ring where I could like, I have clothes there and I have food in the refrigerator and, you know. Yeah, well, you know what?

You don't have the stomach for it, man. Yeah. You don't have the stomach. You don't have the guts. It takes a particular kind of guy. It takes a certain kind of, you know. That's my favorite bit when Will's in LA and I call, or I'll always know where Will is

because I'll call, or he'll call me. And if he's speaking like this, he'll go, hello? Oh, boy. Then I know he's in New York. I'm like, oh, what are you doing, Will? And he's like, just kicking around, you know. I'm gonna go to Ms. Vazoul's house later in the night. I'm back in the neighborhood.

And I'm like, yeah, I just turned a big pot of gravy over here, all right? I just turned a big pot. Remember when the neighborhood used to be the real neighborhood? I mean, we were knock around guys back in the day. Pubcap was first base. We played stick bowl.

We stick a stick. We played stick bowl just till the show went down and it got too hot. We'd open up, we'd open up the fire. We'd open up the fire. It was all bathing. It was the best thing in the world. Choked right through it, you know?

Choked right through it. It's the only way to cool off in that hot summer heat. But you don't want to cross Bronx Highway. And you feel the grime on the back of your neck, and then you hear the dinner bell ring, and you got to go. Yeah, I just smacked in the back of my head for Father Pazoul, because I was an altar boy. I was an altar boy.

I didn't say my no rules that morning or whatever it was. You know, I was an altar boy, but we were knock on. I was an altar boy, but we used to get into such trouble, but don't cross Monsignor Montgomery. Monsignor Montgomery. Monsignor Montgomery. OK, so wait a minute. We do hours.

Thoreau and I would do hours of this, and then put on any. That would actually be the whole phone call, is it? You would call. The other one we used to do was the hangover one, which used to make me laugh. Will would call me up and go, and I would always answer like. It started because I would always answer like I was asleep. And it'd be like 4 p.m.

It'd be like 4 p.m. and I go, oh. And he'd go, hey, man, it's Will. Are you away? Yeah, what time is it? Panic. By the way, the panic in his voice, then I'd go, what do you mean, it's 4 p.m. It's Monday.

What do you mean? Monday. Monday. He started drinking again. What's going on? No, we're listening. We also used to do, Sean, I did this to you yesterday. We used to do like Justin pick up and go, hello.

And I go, hey, Justin, I've got Will for you. And then I'd come on, and I'd go, hey, Justin, you go, hi, Will. I just lost him. Just lost him waiting for Justin to get back. And we'd be each other's assistants. Tracy, this is a Hollywood back and forth kind of thing. And listen, I'm so sorry. Listen, these guys laughing about there is fake assistants.

By the way, neither of us had assistants at the time, so that was the best part. That's really funny. So Justin. Sean, did you ever get to the bottom of his favorite color? Nail him down on this, Sean. I'm trying to steer it. Don't let him wiggle off.

I'm trying to steer it there. Exactly. I'm trying to steer your guests into some information, Will. Yeah, Will, where's your questions, goddammit? Instead of getting ragged on for being naked on planes with Jason. How can I? You spend all the time shaming him for being in good shape and sleeping nude on commercial airplanes.

I want to know, though, I want to know who those people, who the inspirations were, though, Justin, rather than just those movies that made you want to go to New York to be an actor. Like, were there specific actors or specific things that made you go, I want to do that. That looks super fun. Really?

I mean, I think I love movies the same way that everyone loves movies. But there was, I mean, I didn't have one of those galvanizing moments of like, oh my god, I want to do that. Weirdly, actually, this is going to sound really odd. But I was very touched by, when I was a little, by a movie of the week that Henry Winkler did, where he played like a janitor or something

in like a high school. And then he sort of, I can't really remember the plot exactly, but he basically would act. And that's when he would like, have like, that's when he was most himself. Well, but Justin, how do you feel about the insecurity, the thing that you can't, you can't count on being hired as an actor because you don't walk around with a diploma

from medical school and thus. It's the worst thing. I mean, early, I mean, I'm not going wood, I'm very lucky, as we all are in this chat. But, you know, the worst part about being an actor is, obviously you can't act at home. You can't just sit around and do it. You know, if you're a painter, you can sit home and paint.

You can play cello at home. You can't really sit home and act. Early on, you really need permission. Someone has to give you permission to do it. And that's the worst part about it. But I've always kind of always had like a secondary thing. So like when I was auditioning, it didn't mean as much, but it was like, I could forget about the audition

and I could go do, you know, mural work or I could go do something else. So I had another track to sort of go down, you know. So I wasn't constantly just pining after. I wasn't one of those people that went to auditions and then like thought about them all week and was waiting for the call. I'd do the audition and then I would forget about it.

I'd treat like a lottery ticket. That's what Jason would call. This is where Jason is going to step in with a sexy indifference. Healthy indifference. The last time Jason auditioned, by the way, when was the last time you auditioned for something? Seven, eight years old?

I think my last audition, I want to say my last audition was for the... Arrested. It might have been arrested. It might have been arrested. You auditioned for that? No, I think, oh, absolutely. In fact, I've got it on my computer.

It's pretty, it's pretty... I love to sell it. We're gonna watch that. If you had a mural today, would, like, well, not if you had to, would you? Could you? What subject? And would you look for like, you know,

a wall somewhere to, or like, how does, how does all that... Like, you know, I've done a couple murals for like, people's like, kids' rooms or things like that. You know, it would be fun. I don't have time to do it, you know? What if you could like...

Like some, like, gorilla sort of social commentary, like, in the middle of the night. I'm not into that. I don't want to do that anymore. You know, I don't, I mean, I never really was like, I would write a little graffiti, but I wouldn't like, I would never claim to be like, in a career graffiti scene or whatever.

I did sort of like an animation style. You consider yourself on the same level as Banksy? Yeah. In a pinch. And take a minute. Don't answer too quickly. Yeah, because... Have you sold, have you sold works before?

Yeah, I've sold works. Couple pieces. Like, early, like, you know, little art shows and things really early on. But nothing like, you know, I don't think people are sitting on it like a hot stock or anything. Well, if you die soon, they will.

Well, thanks. No, I'm just pointing out, man. Listen, JT, you also have a very, you have an extensive acting resume. And one of the things, I know you did Mulholland Drive, what was your relationship like with David Lynch? How did that sort of come about?

And what was, do you still have a relationship with him? Yeah, I mean, we text and chat on the phone every now and again. And when I'm in LA, I always try and see him. He's, you know, he's one of the best directors I've ever worked with. I mean, it sort of sounds, you know, like obvious because he's such a good director, but not because of just the great films he makes,

but he really is one of the kindest, most sort of explorative directors that you can possibly work with, you know, because he's giving you such incredible material and incredible leeway with what you can do. And I've been lucky enough to do two things with him, both very different, but he's just like a beautiful artist.

You ever tried any of that meditation that he's so big on? Yeah, I have tried it. I did the whole thing. What is that? I didn't have, it's TM, Transcendental Meditation. I didn't have the same experiences that I feel like a lot of people who still practice it do,

and probably it was because I was not a perfect practitioner. I can't figure out what the difference is between it and that space that you're at right before you fall asleep. Because it's a much more conscious way of, I mean, I'm sure you can fall asleep while meditating, but you're focused on a mantra, so you're repeating your mantra. So you're not really going to sleep,

but you're resting your brain. I will not wear sleeves. You're only supposed to- I will not wear sleeves. I will not wear sleeves. I will not wear sleeves. Certainly, it's a mantra. That was my mantra.

So you're supposed to only think about the one thing, right? That it's a clarity and a singular thought that is supposed to be- I'm not an expert on this. I'm the wrong person to be asking these questions to, although I'm extremely spiritual and realized as a person. Wow. You are. You know, I spent a lot of time

just doing stuff for other people. Yeah. I just wanted to say that as a standalone. Yeah, okay, cool. I just wanted to get a quote, like I wanted one of those things like, on his podcast, actor Will Arnett claimed that he does a lot of stuff for others.

Like that's a direct quote. Yeah, you can just pull that right out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean, Will, you guys don't meditate at all, do you? Have you ever done that? I have. Will's meditating right now. I've done a little bit.

Successfully? I've done a little bit. What does it feel like if you're successful, if it's working? I've done guided meditations just because I'm such a novice and I've only started within like the last six months. I like it.

I find it very, it's a nice reset. Sometimes it's a great way to start the day. And I guess I didn't know anything about it before. So I thought it was like, how can it possibly, who gives a shit? And then I do it and I generally feel a little bit more present. Yeah, I don't know how people,

I, you know, you could, there's a bunch of apps, but you can set it to do like a minute or two minutes or five minutes or half hour. I don't know how people do it for like 20 minutes or half hour. But the goal is, and this is a question, the goal is to throw off stress, I think, you know. There's so much traffic in your head

that you're looking to narrow things down and just have one car on the road. That's this mantra. Well, you'll notice if you ever, if you ever attempt it in a serious way, you'll, sometimes you'll be trying to do it. And then a million racing thoughts of what you have to do or things you're worried about, a little come in.

And apparently that's not necessarily a bad thing. You're supposed to just let those thoughts go through and out like the weather, like a cloud that blows in. Yeah, you let them go. Like it's like, it's like thoughts are like a, I remember when somebody told me like to visualize like a leaf falling off a tree that lands in a stream. That's the thought and just let it kind of go.

And then you let it go and you let that thought go. No, I got to pee. And then, but it just keeps like those thoughts that that's natural. And what's good about the guided meditation is for me anyway, is it's taught me to kind of, they go, it's okay. You're having, you're thinking about all these things, let that go, now focus back on your breathing or.

And then if you practice it for longer periods of time, then you get more relaxed. But well, when you meditate and you listen to those guided medics, you've inserted your resume in there, right? Yeah, no, I'm just reading your resume. It's an audio version of my reel. Right.

So it's just, I'm listening to my own reel. Are you just listening to your, your voiceover commercials that just mellows you out? Yeah. It's mainly like just a greatest sense of, you know, GMC and Reese's and old, old accounts. I'm not going to mention the old ones because they don't pay me anymore.

And now back to the show. Justin, you've, we had a guest on here fairly recently, the amazing, hilarious, gorgeous, wonderful, Amy Sedaris. And she was mentioning you and I didn't know that you guys. She tore you to shreds, dude. Let's be honest. Did she? You didn't listen to all of it.

She ripped you a fucking new one. I don't know if you felt the draft. Amy didn't listen to it. And then I said, you should listen to it. You were really fun on it. And then she goes, oh, and then I said, you know, after you got off, you know, they really praised you. It was really nice.

Like, I was like, you should at least listen to it for that because they went on and on about you after you clicked off. So I'm dying to listen to what happens after I. She was awesome. How did you meet her? And how did this friendship blossom? I was actually full circle coming,

doing that play shopping and fucking. And she used to work at Marion's, which was a restaurant just down the block on Bowery. Great sort of campy, like, but she was a waitress there. And she was at the time doing strangers with candy and waiting table. Oh my God. Like she would literally do like a day of strangers

and then come back. But if she had like a black eye and a bloody nose, she would keep the makeup for the waiting table. And like people would, oh, what happened to your eye? And she'd go, oh, nothing, just the car door. I'm such a clutch. She would just do these bits, like, you know. That's so great.

So we'd go there every night to eat after the show, me and Phil and a bunch of other people. And she would be there and she waited on us. And then we sort of became friends. Wow, I just love her to death. I just think she's amazing. She's fucking one of the best, most hilarious. You know, I find myself staring at that beautiful face,

that jawline of yours, and realize you've had that beard on for so long. What was it like when it finally came on? I mean, it's been on for like five years, right? Your beard? It's traumatic. I've had it like three or four years just because of work stuff. You find anything living under there when you're shaving off?

Well, it's not that I just shaved it off. It shaved it off. And I'm sorry to listener because you can't see, but I shaved it off and then was left with this. So I didn't get to shave the whole thing off. That would have been satisfying to leave this on your face. Your mustache is brutal. Yeah, the 40 pounder.

And to know that it's a 40 pounder, I look, you know. Did your skin, did you get like, did you break out? Was your skin like, what the hell's going on? I broke out over here. I had little hotspots like a dog. Sure. I had a couple hotspots that I had to, you know, get some calming oils and to calm the skin.

We're recording this on a Saturday. What's your weekend look like up there? If I'm imagining you're not working until Monday, what the hell does Justin Thoreau do with his weekend upstate? I'm going to be, I'm nervous because I'm about to start a job. And so I'm going to be reviewing all my words

and breaking down my scripts. Practicing faces. Pract making faces in a mirror and putting a pebble in my shoe and getting a walk. Looking for that one prop. Yeah, that one thing. Give me the food, like the one, the apple, like to take the beat to do the long shoe.

I'll probably Sunday tomorrow, Jason, I'll go into the prop shop and I'll cast my eyes around looking for, I don't know, a cane or a hat. Does G. Gordon-Liddy have a particular voice? I forget that you've been working on. And I'm not asking you to give it now, but have you been studying that? Yes, I have been.

And do you feel confident about it? No, not yet. No? Are you doing it now? Are you working with a dialect coach? Am I doing it right now? Yeah, I'm working with a dialect coach. Who is it, Tony?

It's Tony, it's a thing. Is it Tony? Who is it, Reginald? Reginald, Reginald, we're both vaccines. My name is Ron. Is Monday your first day of acting? Monday's the first day. How's Woody hanging in there?

He's great. He's fantastic. What parts he playing? I just had dinner with him last night. He's playing Howard Hunt. He's great. I love that Woody Harrelson. So he's got free reign on an accent there,

because I don't think anybody ever really heard him, except for- There's a little bit of footage on him, but yeah, he doesn't have the same pressures, because my guy ended up having a fucking radio show. A shadowy take note. Let me ask you something that is an actor, because we were talking about it before, about the schedule of an actor who does what you do,

which is like film to film, and it seems like you're traveling in a way. Is it hard? Do you mind that? I mean, because to me, the older I get, and I've talked with the guys at Nausium, about just the schedule of 14-hour days, being halfway across the country.

I don't know, I miss my home. I'd miss my bed too much. I'd miss my- Let's just hold on there for one second. Yeah. Sean, when you were doing Will and Grace, first of all, a multi-cam show is historically the cushiest, greatest schedule,

and specifically that one. Of the six hours you worked at any given week on Will and Grace. Yeah. And- Five of which were lunch hours. Five of which was just counting money. Five of those hours was just counting cash.

Did you- No, no, I- You know what, Justin's life, by the way, I can answer this kind of for Justin. Have you ever seen the dresser? Yeah. Justin's life is very much like Albert. He's very much like Albert Finney in the dresser.

That's his life. If you've ever seen him- Exactly, not Tom Courtney. No, and Tom the Tom Courtney, to his Albert Finney. Shall we make a stop? Come on, time to get wakey and put on your clothes. Shall we make a stop? Shall we make a stop?

Stop, and then he's like, stop the train! Let them know you're coming. Let them know you're coming. So, all right, so tomorrow we're gonna practice faces and voices just a little bit. And what time will we go to bed to make sure we're properly rested for Monday's work? Make a handful of ambient for myself at around nine o'clock.

Shoot up between your toes this time. It might affect you differently. Do you get first day jitters now when you're going to work and start at like, every time you start something new? It's not jitters, it's just kind of like- Like the butterflies and the- Yeah, you do, of course.

Because you haven't done the character yet. So, if it's at all a swing, I love people that go into jobs totally confident. I mean, I wish I could do that. You ever heard so? What kind of scene do you have? Is it a big juicy scene on Monday or is it starting easy?

It's a big juicy, it's a good tip. We're actually shooting slightly in order, which is nice. Which is rare, Sean, tell the listener. So, when you shoot a film, it's all about the schedule and locations and actors, and you shoot it out of order a lot of times, and then that's what editing is. They put it all together in the right eight place.

Jason, remember the acting lessons I used to give you, Jason? Yes, oh God. Those ones I used to send you. They did not work. What time, but really, tell me what, I'm fascinated by people's sleep patterns. What time, because you strike me as a night owl, I seem to remember.

I'm always the one that goes to bed super early, as you know. I know, six o'clock. What time will you be going to bed for start of work on, I imagine you start top of day? Here's the best thing, is that me and Woody are kind of aligned on this, which was, we're shooting in a stage. So, obviously, there's no light dependency issues.

So, he was like, why don't we just get in there at like nine o'clock, and I'm like, great. So, I think we're gonna start it on set at nine, which is not a, it's really brutal when it's like four, 46 rehearsals. So, what time are you gonna go to bed for a nine a.m. call? Probably gonna bed at 10. 10 to 10.

You thought Sean's question about how the schedule of a movie was going. I'm not done yet, Arnett. I'm not done. And you want to get into what fucking time he's gonna, what time are you gonna, here's the snooze on your thing. Yeah, here's the follow-up, here's the follow-up. How much earlier than before, how do I say this? This is tough for me.

When will you get up? How much earlier, you gotta be at set at nine. Are you a commissioner of any rotisserie baseball leagues that you need to service before work like Jason? I like to have- How much time before your call do you give yourself? Thank you. You know, like in a theater when people can leave,

when you're doing a play, you would know, that Sean Jason would know nothing about it. That you can hear the seats going ch-chunk-chunk-chunk. As people leave, because they hate the place. What's the podcast equivalent? What's the podcast version of that? Oh, yeah. It's a laptop slam.

Yeah, we wouldn't be able to hear ourselves. I just want to know what your morning routine is. You got to get up super early. Here it is, really quickly, Jason. I make a shake, I pre-make a smoothie with spinach and bananas and some berries, I put that in the fridge. This is what I want to know. That's gold, right there.

Okay, that goes into the fridge. Then I have a green juice that I also put in the fridge. This is all before 10.30 at night. Then I wake up in the morning, I shower. I put the thing on the blender. I go, I pour it into a to-go cup. I take my green juice with you. What do you shower?

Do you do body or hair first? Oh, God. Sorry. Bar of soap or luffa and shower gel. I do the conditioner first. Then you want to rinse the conditioner out. Then you want to do soap after the conditioner to get out of your room.

So now you're at the blender and you get your shake and you take your shake to work and everything. Do you not chew, eat anything until like lunch? Yeah, I kind of do. I try and keep it liquid until I get hungry. A lunch and dinner guy. Keep it liquid. That's it.

Keep it liquid. Yeah. What do you do, Jason? Aside from having a packet of almonds in your room. You know what the fuck you know what it is. It's just 12 almonds, a fucking thimble of water and then just pining after fucking sweets. I'll never be therothin'.

I mean, this guy, God damn it. I don't know how you do it. Well, have you always had a- No, no. He used to eat like a fucking animal. He used to be addicted to sugar. You want to know, this is what actually, remember when Pinkberry came out, Will?

Yes. And we'd meet every night at the Pinkberry. You'd ride your bike over. This was Will on a health kick. He would get, he would, he'd say, let's meet at Pinkberry. There's this new thing called Pinkberry and it's frozen yogurt.

You can get all you, you know. I'd go over there and he's like, you can eat whatever as much as you want. It's basically it's sugar-free, it's fat-free. It's like nothing, it's like nothing. And so I'd go over, we'd go to the pink, there was a pinkberry on Bleaker Street and Will would get,

it was like a Kentucky fried chicken tub, you know, like a bucket. And they would just swirl it like, and it would be about a foot high. And he'd be like, and he'd just eat it. And he'd just eat it. Meanwhile, his gut was fucking exploding. He's got it, he's got it, he's got it.

The water and water all the time. And then it was revealed that it's not really yogurt. Like- I don't even know what it is, but I mean it was- But he used to do that. But also like before that, back in the day, in the day before that day, we used to go for dinner and then each one of us, we used to go

and then the waitress would go. Do you guys want any dessert? And each of us would go. I'm fine, but I think- I think he probably wants the sundae. The sundae. And like, as if we're ordering for each other. Cause I don't want anything obviously, but he wants.

He wants, I know what he wants cause he was telling me before he- Justin, this is all making me very wistful for the past. Can you please move back out to Los Angeles and re-enter our lives? I'll be there. I'm actually going to be, I'll be out there working a little bit

at the end of the summer. So I hope I get to see you. This is a part of the job you're starting on Monday? Yeah. We're going to finish in LA, I think. Oh, you are? So hopefully I'll be out there with you. Justin, I would love to have a meal with you.

Yeah, let's go. Can we all put a- Wait your turn, Sean. Where he's going to take care of me and we'll first. Well, I'm going to see him in New York. I'm going to see him in New York. He's going to come out to the house. You come to New York, Sean.

He's going to come out to Long Island, he's going to come out the house. The guy is going to bring, the guy is going to bring what he, me, him and what he, we're going to have. Oh, we're going to have laughs. Oh, we have a ball. Oh, the laughs. Oh, the laughs.

We'll cry and then we'll laugh again. There's so much else to get into. I don't even know. You haven't asked one question of your guest. That's not true. That's not fucking true. Tell me one question that you did any research on. I just asked the thing about becoming a writer.

I asked the thing about David Lynch resume. Yeah. So tell us about Iron Man 2. No, no, all jokes aside, you worked on Iron Man 2. You and Downey became really tight on Tropic. Tropic Thunder. We had such a fucking blast making that movie. And I kind of, I know Downey through you originally.

And through that experience, he was like Iron Man 2, it's all you guy. Well, he, at the time, he thought, I mean, I'm sure he would say this. He was like, I don't, I think this movie is going to tank. Like Iron Man, talk about Iron Man. And we were on the set of Tropic Thunder, and he showed me the trailer. And I was like, dude, Iron Man was one of my favorite characters. And I said, you better buckle the fuck up, because this thing's going to be exploding, and you better have your seatbelts on.

And he was like, I don't think so, I don't think. And then, of course, the rest is history. Knowing Downey, he's like, I don't even have a seatbelt to forget it. I cut him both out of the car. I cut him both out. So yeah, and then it exploded. And then so when that happened, he immediately was like, why don't you come and meet with the Marvel guy?

So I went over and met with them. And it's, it's, it is one of those things that it's, I'd love to take the credit, but you have to share the credit because Kevin Feige and Jeremy Lachem and Favreau and all those guys, it's absolutely a team effort in coming up with all the story. And they, Feige knows that property, knows all his properties so well. He's so, he's the biggest fan of his own. He's got from South of France.

A lot of properties, different properties, different properties, different properties. Liz is very modestly, by the way. Yeah, Liz is very modestly, Jason. So take that into account. Yeah, Jason. And Sean sitting there in your mansion. We can hear the echo in your mansion, Sean. Okay.

I don't even know where Scotty is. For like three days, haven't found him. I'm missing. She's unbelievable how out of touch you are. Check the mail. So what was that experience like though? Could once you get into that world, you're exposed to the, first of all, the fans of, of course, have only grown even more rabid.

But like, when you're in that kind of, for lack of a better term, machine of Marvel in that world, there's a lot of pressure. It's, there is, but, but at the same time, again, you know, Feige and Favreau at the time are such good shepherds of material that, you know, they're really the ones sort of at the steering wheel. And again, keep in mind, this was before Avengers. I mean, I was so blown away. I wrote Kevin an email after I saw, you know, the first Avengers.

And I was like, it was like, he made Star Wars in reverse. It was like this, I couldn't believe how like, because, you know, it felt like we were sort of throwing in Easter eggs, you know, like, you know, Thor's hammer shows up in the coat of something, or, you know, and you think, where's this going? Or is this, are these just sort of pointless Easter eggs? And of course not. And there is a grand design to them.

Super clever and super smart. So my follow up question is, how many t-shirts are you wearing right now? Hmm, two. I can't, yeah, I can see two. Because sometimes it's no, sometimes it's like really loose. Hold on, hold on, hold on one second, well, I got to take my, my cans off. Oh, listen, that's where he comes. Listener, he's standing up.

He's going to show us, we've got one t-shirt, the shirt's coming off. Oh, God, no. Now the sleeveless shirt underneath. Sleeveless t-shirt underneath, yes! That's what you wanted, wasn't it? There you go. Wait, what is this? Are you known for like sleeveless t-shirts?

Is that? I get so much fucking shit from Will for wearing these t-shirts. I got shoulders. By the way, you know I'm just jealous. Will, didn't you send him a gift one to a box of sleeves? No, I was going to, I was going to do it for a birthday. I was going to send him a box of sleeves. Why, Justin, do you wear sleeveless like every day or?

In the summertime I do. Will, every time he would see me, he'd go, oh, okay, guys, can we all just- Take a moment. Take a moment and just, all right, be more in the loss of Justin's sleeves. All right, be Justin's sleeves. I did that once at like Thanksgiving, didn't I, when we were doing a toast? And we all did it, I just- Which just tells you that I was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt at Thanksgiving.

I know, you were. But I mean, listen, it's pure jealousy. I mean, the reply was always, and let's also take another moment to R.I.P., the first top four buttons of Will's shirt, because he's the shirt of his decollage. I'm wearing a crew neck today. I'm wearing a crew neck. I know you are wearing it. I'm a little disappointed.

Normally we get something all the way down to the solar plexus. Hey, listen, I'm Euro that way. The other thing is I was going to say that for all my sort of making fun of your- A lease underwear. Well, my Bjorn Borg underwear, yeah. Oh, Bjorn Borg underwear. For all the shit, oh, in my Liverpool, in my Liverpool sweats. Oh, God.

For all the making fun of you that I do, of course, it's all based out of pure jealousy, laying it down. Yeah, well, right. Justin, what a fucking delight. Thank you, bro. Brother, it's just whatever you- I miss you guys. I miss you too, man, so much.

But stop the madness. Let's move back out west, huh? Come on. Come on, come back east. The water's normal. There's plenty of production out here. More production here. Yeah, it might be true.

You agree with that? Well, Justin, we'll go out for pizza when you get here. I can't wait. Can we really do that? Put together a dinner. Yeah, yeah, I'm coming east. He's going to come east. You might even see me with Will.

He's going to come east. Oh, shit. So come on out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, I can't wait. I can't wait. I love you.

I love you too, buddy. Miss you. Great hanging out with you, Shawn. Bye, guys. See you. Bye, pal. Have fun on Monday. I'm going to try.

Hey, say hi to Woody. Yeah. I will. Absolutely. I wanted to have him here. I was going to do that thing where I was going to surprise guests, you guys, and it would have been so much fun if you really do remember, please send my love. I just love him. I worked with him a lot. So I really absolutely will. I love Woody. I told him last night that I was doing it.

I'm going to get him on. Maybe I'll invite him on. Yeah, I can get into this podcast. Yeah, yeah. But can I just add myself? Yeah, yeah. Yes. I mean, you guys just add it.

That's the way it works this morning. Let's just add yourself. I'm doing it now too. Yeah, great. JT, you're the best. Thank you, man. Thanks for making time. I love you guys.

I know it's a busy week and love you too. Love you, pal. All right, bye. Bye. Bye. The guy is just so damn fun, entertaining and fun. He needs to move back to west. I know.

He's a great guy. I don't know him. Like I said, as well as you guys, he's so down to earth and like somebody you just immediately want to get to know and hang out with. He's very real. He's such a, he's such a. His wit is so fast. He's so fast. He's so smart.

He's so funny and he's so sweet. He's such a sweet guy and he's been an unbelievable friend over the years and in every way. He's one of those guys. Super loyal. He's the guy you can call at any time. And if you're going through, it doesn't matter. He'd be the first guy there and Jason be the last. Well, you need bookends.

But I just wanted to let that settle with about JT for a second. I just want to connect with you guys. Yes. All right. Now you can just connect. Okay, good. No, good. Don't break eye contact.

Right. Yeah, there you are. Don't break eye contact. So usually you want to say how much you've really missed Justin in your life. Can we cue some music, Rob, Bennett? But I was just going to say, it's like, I want to make this contact. And if you need to wear glasses, like the ones that Jen wears, what are they called? Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye, mom. Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Hey, how you doing?

Hey, how you doing? Hey, you want to get a piece of pie later? Yeah, let's get a piece of pie later. We could, but my mom's making gravy later, so I can also get that. I'm stirring the gravy up. Ma, ma, I'm stirring the gravy. What do you want? Oh, I used to, ma.

Ma's stirring the gravy, sounds like you. No, no, I'm going to go help old Mrs. Stanoots with the groceries, all right? She said Mrs. Stanoots doesn't even pick up the sausage. Yeah. I'm going to go. And put what the sausage is. No, I got to go get the sausage. I got to go do a rosary.

I got to get some rosaries. I got to see my novenas, you know. Yeah, I got to get my bees. I got a lot to pray about, like a lot to be grateful for. Yeah, and then the, God, God forbid, God forbid, God forbid. God forbid anything happens to you. Well, break my heart. Well, you guys do this in the fucking episode, please, Joe, you got it?

There's no way that I would do that in the app or something. No, no, that's just for me and Will.