SmartLess - "Kate McKinnon"

Episode Date: September 15, 2025

Folks are doing carpentry— it’s the dulcet tones of Kate McKinnon! ASMR, traffic, chicken juice, and Natalie’s mother’s costume jewelry. This is chaos. Welcome to SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Hey, you guys, now is, like, the perfect time for me to do some vocal warm-ups because nobody's around. So, hangy, pingy, pingy, pingy, popcorn, peanuts, get them if you want them. Hey, I got some Twizzlers over here, and I got a little payday if you want a payday. Hey, hey, hey, woo, who. Welcome to SmartL. Smart less. You may tell you something. This is why we don't have a video component on this show.

What's going on today on top of my head? Don't you dare. It looks, you look gorgeous. See, I'd have to. You look. You know who you look like? You look like the star of that very successful new streaming show called Black Rabbit that we all love.

That show's amazing. You look like the star of Black Rabbit. Black Rabbit streaming now on Netflix. Wait, when it's not out yet, is it? Well, no. By the time this airs. What's the date, Jamie? Wait, what does it come out, Jay?

September 18th. Wait, Jason, that's really exciting. Oh, my God, the show is going to be so good. It's going to be what so. We don't need to talk about that. We don't need to talk about it. It's exciting. I do think it's enough with the London thing and the Long Island thing.

Los Angeles and me, my heart, my mind, my eyes, my ears, my chest, my chest misses the feeling of your chest against it. I know. Please come home. Were you at dinner last night? I was going to FaceTime. Did you go to our message? No, there was no Sunday, Sunday. I was going to FaceTime you out of the blue because I know who you love it out of it.

When's the last time there was a Sunday Sunday Sunday? two weeks ago maybe three weeks ago I do miss that a lot hot fudge fun day well I'll say it one more time still rolling the hot fudge fun day hot fudge fun oh you did say it right because you would have a hot fudge there

yeah oh you brought it together hey thanks but you brought your own fudge isn't that correct oh yeah well you're on the corner that's where it's made I mean that's a Sean Hayes move

remember I brought my own fudge to my birthday party you did bless your heart you were out of town no I brought You brought your own toppings. I brought my own caramel to my birthday party because we went to this place and they were like, oh, they don't have the full arsenal

of Sunday toppings on Sunday nights, whatever. That was nice, though. So luckily, our friend Sean organized it very sweetly. J.B., you were in Atlanta. And no, and then I show up with, I had it in my pocket, and I did it a little bit for effect because I knew I was going to get shit for it. I pull it out.

Sean, actually, you didn't really give me shit. You kind of laughed. Camel gave me a lot of shit, and then sure is shit. When the ice cream came out, everybody said, hey, can you pass it down here? And Kimmel was first. Was it caramel sauce? Yeah, it was caramel sauce.

And I was like, oh, do you want some now? Camel. You know. Wait, Sean, how do you say that word? Carmel. I say caramel ice cream or caramel swirl, right? I mean, I kind of toggle between the two. How is it spelt?

How many A's are? Spelt. Spell. Spell. C-A-R-A-M-E-L. There's two A-M-E-L. Spelt. I said spelled. I said spelled. You said spelt. I didn't. I meant, I, it came out as that. I meant spelled.

I know, Sean. I know this guy. Please. Wait, spelt is a kind of... From the guy who says Carmel. Are you fucking joking? He's still, I still can't believe he was shocked that Beatles. What are you saying that is you're getting thrown out of a moving car? What Carmel!

Wait, I have a crazy story. I'd love a new dad joke, too. I've worn out my haze can. I can do lots of dad jokes ready. Okay, hurry up, because our guest is probably falling asleep. All right, you want a long story or a short dad joke? Short dad joke. Yeah.

Amal and Juan are identical twins, and their mom only carries one photo in her wallet, because if you've seen Juan, you've seen them all boy that's a long way to go for shit I laughed out loud when I heard that all right all right we're going to get to our guests

but real first I just want to say you know saw Will's film second time the other day I'm still I can't wait to see it little fucking starstruck when I'm looking at this guy now he's kind of ruined things it's kind of like when I saw you doing your Tony award-winning play that you're now doing in London.

It's, you guys, you guys, you've got real talent. You know, you really dumb it down on this show, but you both have a little something special in there. Yeah. You can keep hitting. Ouch, boy, that compliment hurts. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'd like to balance it out.

But fuck me, Arnett. Listen, listen, her, it's called, is this thing on, triple dot? Some people say ellipses. But it's a great film. It's coming your way. I think towards the end of the year. Wait, so Black Rabbit comes out in September.

Is this thing on comes out in November? December. December. This is like a big deal. But if you're at the New York Film Festival, you can see it there in October. That's true. That's true.

Well, thank you. It's fantastic. And if you're in London right now, still, even now, if you're in London, you can go to see. At the Delicourt. At the Delacourt Theater. You can go. How about Oscar?

At the Chimmy Chirry sauce. Chimmy Chiri at the Chimitri stage at the Delicourt? Barbican. What about Oscar? What about that Oscar? What about Oscar?

What about Oscar? Oh, God, here we go, we go. It's called, what is it called? Leave it to Oscar? Here comes Oscar. Hey, what do you know about Oscar? Leave it to Oscar. All right, listen to me.

Guys, guys, quick reminder before the guests, I just want to say, tickets go on sale. Friday, September 12th for our Hollywood Bowl night that we're doing. We're very excited about that. Very, very excited. Saturday, November 15th, right? Is our show date? Saturday, November 15th, yeah.

It's going to be incredible. Come enjoy the chat and giggle under the stars in a very refined setting there in the hills of Los Angeles. There won't be any fireworks, but except on stage, huh, guys? There's going to be a lot of fireworks. All right, let's get into the show, please. Yeah. For your listening pleasure today,

we have for you a woman with a real handle on how to make you laugh. But she's not a joke teller. She's an actor of the highest level. Her ability to play characters that are so odd and eccentric. Love characters. It's something you end up watching

with amazement and shock as you dab the laugh tears from your eyes. It's why she's been nominated for every single year she was on Saturday Night Live. I think I've got that right. I could not be a bigger fan of her talent and for just being around her.

Very cool of her to come hang out with us today. He's welcome, one of the greats, Miss Kate, the great McKinnon. Yes. Willie got it. She was still awake. There's an... Oh, wait, she's in the Criterion closet.

Uh-oh, she's got the Criterion Collection behind her. Are those DVDs behind you or just a bunch of one-acts? No, no, there are books. I'm in a... Hi. Hi. Oh, hello. Oh, hello.

No, I'm in the offices of the... publisher of the book that I'm here to promote. Okay, let's start right off with it. But we don't have to talk about that right away, but we should at some point. Let's pretend like we're not. Let's let it come up organically. The name of the new book is purple, purple pearl. It's about a deep sea diver.

Take it from there. Jason, that's her volume. Oh, she's putting her glasses on. That means she wrote a book. These are fake glasses that I wear to feel more comfortable. That's incredible. They provide a barrier between me and my interlocutoris that I need in order to feel safe. I can see you, but you can't come close to me.

Wait, are you reading from the book right now? Is this the first chapter of the book? Wow. I have never been on a podcast before. No, truly? Are you serious? Is this your first podcast? I've never been, yes.

No way. And I'm afraid. No, what do you don't be? We're super safe. It's like we're just ringing out. And no one can see you. They can just hear you. No one, yeah.

Even though you look incredible. Even though I have these glasses on to protect. Are you literally in a closet? Is that why you're whispering? No, no. I speak in dulcet tones. This is my real voice. And the presence of the microphone in my mouth is also making it easier for me to speak in my most dulcet tones.

You just have a deep, deep, deep in the throat. You know what's really powerful, Kate, is when you can bring it down and you can bring it down, and you can bring, you control the tone and the volume like that, that's real power. They lean in. They lean in. They pulled over. Or they pulled the car over.

Or they leave. No. They could leave. But if they can't see you in the glasses, at least they can hear you now. Hey, listen, purple pearl. Smooth a barretta. Is about somebody who dives for pearls. They're only purple if they're super deep.

So this is a diver that is particularly, talented at diving deep? I think I've got it right. It's a diver named Natalie. And she has lost her costume jewelry and she gets in trouble because it's her mother's costume jewelry. What a kid. Is this really it?

And no, it's not. But I think I've just plotted my new series so I am going to go because I'm inspired. By the way, if you open a show with somebody losing costume, jewelry, I'm always. Me too.

It's a detective show. Have you ever lost something that you really weren't supposed to lose? My phone? My dad? That's the worst. That is about the worst feeling. You know what you lost a few years ago, Jason,

but you found? Dignity? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And I just hit my head on the wall behind me. I don't know. Hey, listen, I want to get right to...

Pete McKinnon. Can I just say, I think that you're, I think you're so funny. Oh gosh, you know, we don't have to do this. No, you're so great. No, this is part of the podcast. You have to put up with this on the podcast. Yeah, yeah. So you have to sit here and take it.

You're so funny and you're so, um, original and cool. I just, I don't know you at all. Really? No. And I've never met her. We've, Kate, we've never. I feel like we have, you know, a lifelong fan. John, you met our guest?

and passing we've said hello yes but never like spent time on the road yes yes we were I was driving at a red light yeah it's at a red light you drive an 88 Volvo station wagon right that's me but Kate I remember the first time I was doing a the My Rudolph show it was like it was going to be a thing that was only one episode undelated and and it was your first year I think of Saturday Night Live. And Lauren was at the shoot that I was doing with Maya. And I turned to Lauren. Lauren Michael.

And I said, hey, that new girl, Kate McKinnon. And he said, he goes, isn't she special? I go, she is such a superstar. And he's like, I know we all know. We all feel it. And I was just like, so everybody knew it right when you came on. Lauren said that. My son said that, yeah.

That's beautiful. Thank you for saying that. But now, Kate, when was it, when was it? the first time you heard that um like how old were you when you privately because you're a very humble person you didn't like go out and say hey uh everybody thinks i'm great you just internally you thought hey you know what i think i can make people laugh and i like the feeling and i want to do a little bit more of it how old were you were you like this ismr episode were you like 20 um when did it start happening for you oh my god this is the most intimate smartness ever um is it okay well i know i um gosh

you know what it was okay i was in a chris i was in a pageant at church a play really i was what denomination methodist okay um but like northern methodists so like everyone is like just gray and of like Dutch descent and has, you know, chalky skin. And we were doing a play, Daniel and the Lion's Den. And I believe I was playing Cyrus King of Persia. This one I don't know so well.

So you're playing Cyrus, that's the choice part. I forget that, yeah, no, it's a really good part. And I decided to do it in a British accent. to make myself feel more comfortable. And those Methodists, they got a kick out of that. They thought it was a hilarious choice, yes? They weren't offended? Because he's the king of Persian.

Why would have a British? No, no, I was doing a British accent, and they were laughing, and I just always liked to do different voices other than my own, because my own, you know, you're hearing it. It's like, it does it. It was a choice. It was a choice. It was a way to reach out.

What I'm saying is there was a Methodist to your madness. But did you think it was going to be funny? Or were you doing it to like kind of protect yourself and then the laughter was a bit of a surprise? Or were you trying? That what you just said. Really? So it was a surprise. You were like, oh, if I kind of bend things a bit, A, it protects me.

And B, I get laughter and that could be nice social capital. Yes, exactly. Yes. And how old were we? I want to say 10. 10. But there were always, you know, growing up in my family, everyone was doing voices.

You had to do voices, or you got kicked out. No, that's not true. The family. This is around the dinner table. Kick down. Yeah. No, I didn't have a brother. Where is this?

Around the dinner table, you know, waking up, going to bed, just voices, voices, Long Island. People were funny people. What part of Long Island? You know, the North Shore. The North Shore. Like, we're talking about Oyster Bay.

Suffolk, we're talking to Suffolk, we're talking to Suffolk, NASA, NASA, right? Yeah, people are washed. No, NASA. Very good. What about you? Oh, he's all the way. Are we talking like Douglaston?

What are we talking about? No, not quite Douglaston. Okay. Did you see that documentary about that guy who killed all those people? Hey, Kate, hold on one second. Yeah, we'll go, Sean. The Gilgo Beach Guide? Yes, yes.

I just watched it. Oh, him. It was crazy. Quick hot take from Sean on the documentary True Crime series. It was unbelievable. Was it? Why didn't you mention the mass murderer?

Anything else from 20, 22? You want to get the audience to? How about Barbie? Have you seen that? Hey, that Ted Bundy. How about Barbie? What about that weird Barbie? God, loved it.

Yeah, by the way, Kate was in Barbie. Wait, what? Did she play weird Barbie? Stupid ass. Back to you, Kate. We growing up, you know, our big thing. No, no, I'm sorry, gosh, the big thing growing up. I mean, the microphones, my mouth is right there.

You don't need to throw. I'm licking the microphone. I feel like I don't need to project. The big thing growing up was the Amy Fisher, Joey Buttafuoco. Incident. That was a good one. Joey Buttafuco was my grandfather's auto mechanic. No way.

And it was exciting because it was ours. It was Long Island, it was Long Island to a T. And, you know, I didn't know. Was your grandfather deposed? Was he deposed? Was your grandfather deposed? I suppose not. He would have said, but we, it was just, you know,

and my friends and I, we would play that. We would enact the saga. Oh, really? You would? And I didn't realize at the time that Amy Fisher was being trafficked. Amy Fisher was being trafficked? Oh, yeah. No, you didn't know that? No, of course not. I didn't know that either.

She was 17. He was 35. It was, you know. Yeah, she was being trafficked. From Suffolk to NASA. Well, there's a ton of traffic. Yeah, especially as you get into Great Neck. If you're on the Northern Parkway, forget it. Will, you know your stuff. Yeah, I do.

You've been on the Meadowbrook, man. What is this? Of course I've been on the Meadowbrook. You're from there? What is this? I'm on Long Island right now. Yep. Wow.

We'll be right back. And now, back to the show. So you did the play, what happened? Did you start doing sketchcom? Like, you don't automatically go from Daniel and the Magic Lion. And playing Cedric. It was playing Cedric, the entertainer. And then all of a sudden, you're going to stand up

and you're in Lauren Michaels thinks you're the great next. Like, what happens? There you are. You're done playing the cello, right? You've played Amy Fisher. You played Mary Jo. No, I was Joey. Oh, you were Joey.

You were Joey, Butterfoot. Okay. Who was trafficking. He was trafficking. Okay. So then, what did you do? You go to NYU? What did you?

Columbia. She's a smarty. I went there, but I, you know, I did the plays in high school. Sure. And I did sketch at Columbia. And then I auditioned. I went to an open call for a show, the big gay sketch show, which was on the now-defunct logo network.

That's right. That's right. They're very talented Italian. Groundbreaking. This is an Italian critic we have stuck in the back of the theater. It's been in the process of getting thrown out for over 100 episodes. It never gets old and never gets funny. Wait, so Big Kay Sketch Show, was that the...

So that was the first thing I ever auditioned for, and I got it. And I thought... How old were you? I was 22, and I thought, well, this will be easy. Sure. And then I learned, it became clear that it was a difficult career. And so then I did UCB in New York, the U.Rite Citizens Brigade Theater for many years. Yes, exactly.

And then I auditioned for, what? Say again, what? I just want to stop for one second here at UCB. We're on 26. We've got people coming in and out. Will probably, you didn't meet her there, Willie? I didn't see you there. I was there every Sunday night to ask at for about 12 years.

I was so afraid to even. Go to Askat. Wait, what's the difference between Askat and UCB? No, but you know Ascats. It's the Sunday night show that we used to go to. Yeah, it's like an infarcy.

It's an improv show. Matt and Ian Roberts used to do. What is the difference between that and UCB? UCB's the theater. Ascad was the Sunday night show, which was like a big long herald. The name of the show. Anyway, so you were too afraid to go to Ascot,

but who were you on, were you on a comedy team? Or, like, with a... I did sketch, and I did a lot of one-woman shows. Oh. And I had... No, never. And I, I, but that involved a lot of like, I would have, I did one where I had to, it had a cake in it and a full rotisserie chicken and seven wigs.

And so I would have to bring all the wigs and then I would stop at the Gristides grocery store above and buy a cake and a full rotisserie chicken and bring them down. And so I was lugging those days, those days were exciting days and just lugging a lot of props and wigs. I had amassed a collection of 45 or so wigs that were

gross and had chicken juice in them. They got all chickeny and they got all caky. But when you went back really quick sidebar, I had an audition for In Living Color when I was like 21. So a new segment called Sine. Go ahead.

I had auditioned for in living color when I was 21 years old to replace, quote, the white guy, is my right, with Jim Carrey, and I go in with a bag of tons of wigs, and I sit down, and the woman in the cast director sitting right across me, and I go through all these characters that I put together in like 24 hours, and at the end of it, not one laugh, not one laugh, and she goes, wigs are fun, aren't they?

Oh, fuck. And that's it. Oh, Shawnee. Wait a second. I had to, oh, no. Hang on. I had no idea that you had a bag of characters to match a bag of wigs.

I just think, can we meet one? Yeah, can we meet? Give us your best one, Shawnee. Sorry, Kate, one sec. No, no, no, I want this, too. Give us your best. I made them up in 24 hours. I don't even remember what they are.

Oh, shit, you don't. What's your go-to? There he is. Hello, mate. That guy's probably got severe bangs. Right? All right, back to you, Kate. So, Kate, you said when you were in big gay sketch show or something,

you said, oh boy, this was really hard. It's not what I thought it would be. What did you mean by that? What was hard? Just being a comedian, being an actor. I mean, you know, auditioning stuff, getting jobs. You know, very, very difficult and finding your voice and developing material. You know, this is a lifelong craft, you know, practicing the craft.

I thought I was naive and it's, you know, it turned out to be a whole thing. Yeah. But glad. It's hard. It's not easy to navigate. It's harder to navigate than the Van Wick between four and six, am I right? Am I right? Are we talking about the Van Wick or what?

You take the Southern State all the way? What do you do? I'm not a maniac, but I will sometimes take the Bell Parkway. I'm not lying. From JFK, I'll take the belt. Oh, the bell's great, but you can't put a semi-truck on the belt. You can't put a semi-truck on the belt. And then I'll take the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel.

True. No, but really, you take the LIE all the way out of there. Obviously, I take the L.A. I'm not a fucking maniac. Well, I don't know. I don't know you. At some point, you're switching. Kate, the plan going to Columbia, the plan going to Columbia,

since you majored, graduated with a degree in theater, was to be an actor as you're living, correct? This was how you're going to feed yourself. No, I did not, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that that was possible. I can't believe that. You're a smart person by virtue of. going to Columbia. You major in theater. You come out with a degree there. How were you planning that you were going to tack to a completely different industry to feed yourself and provide shelter?

The summer I graduated from college, my plan was that I was going to dress up as Pippi Longstocking and sell popsicles in Union Square. And my gimmick would be that I would be dressed as Pippi Longstocking. And so everyone would buy my popsicles. So that was my professional plan that summer. Great markup potential on popsicles. I also was really wanting to teach English in Romania or one of the Balkan states. Or Romanian in England? Yes.

Wait, wait, so you didn't imagine it? I find that so, I mean, you must have known that even Sean Hayes thought he could make it in show business. with his wigs I got one on now never did I ever ever think that that was possible no okay so how did the audition for SNL happen then

you were at UCB you did like Lindsay shook us came down and saw you what happened I was doing a showcase in L.A. and they invited me to audition and then I did

that audition go? You were very nervous, I would imagine. I was horrifically nervous. I was going to... The restroom often. The restroom often. No, I was horrendously nervous, but then Bobby Moynihan, I guess maybe had seen me at UCB doing a one-woman show and he came up to me and he said, hey, you're funny and I... And then I could breathe and that was it. So I do credit him with everything. Giving you a little prop up right beforehand. No, but seriously, like, you know, just when someone reaches out to you in the dark.

Here she comes. You know, and some, all it takes is one. Get it. Because when someone has the kindness to see you. Preach it. Then you get a little bit taller. And you can fly. Yep, we're going to be right back.

flu um no but no if if he had not done that honestly i i would be uh in romania and they received you well was it was there was a generous laughter and warmth from the people in the dark i heard some uh titters mild titters which was so encouraging because i had heard that there there would be dead silence so i was prepared for dead silence yeah and then when i got a single titter i thought okay I'm flying but I had also practiced it a lot like I like to wing stuff

I don't know about you guys but that I thought I've been listening to the show I'm all out of questions now do they they don't let you know on the spot there right do they call you does your agent call you are we represented at that moment

by an agent I don't think I did at that point have represented i i think i had no that's not true i did i did have i did have i did have an agent and a manager at that point um bless and so and so you get the call you're related you're you're you're nervous you go you go to you go what was a first day like over there at at s and l was it what you what you thought it might be who um it was i got guys i just was really really nervous and sure they all were oh well well so So the thing was it was just me.

I was hired alone at the last five episodes of a season. So I just, I was like, here's your computer. And bless them, I had known a few folks there from UCB who rescued me from the choppy, choppy waters of my own nervousness and really helped me out. Were you writer or performer? Performer. Performer, right out of the gate.

I just want to say, like, with that audition, like, I practiced so many times. I must have said that out loud 50,000 times. And I felt okay about it because I had done that. But usually I'm winging it. I feel like the performers that really stand, I mean, you tell me, because I only hosted once, I've never been a cast member,

but from what I see is the people that really stand out on Saturday Night Live really do their homework and really work on characters or the dialogue because a lot of the times I can't see you reading the cards like you're so in it I don't see you reading the cards and a lot of people I do see read the cards and both you know everybody does both but is that any of that true that you memorize a lot of the stuff as opposed to rely on the cards you personally I cannot memorize dialogue I whatever ability I ever had um left with my reliance on those cute cards and now I cannot memorize and I forget

I'm just I can't remember stuff anymore I'm not going to give another shout out to Wally we've done it too many times on this show so I'm not going to do it but he is an incredible card he is an incredible card artist do you miss it Kate at all

I do I miss I miss the people I miss Wally I miss Jenna and Chris the stage manager so much I miss all of my friends. I miss Lorne Michaels. And yes, I miss it. And I miss, I miss being able to participate in commenting on current events. But I also am so happy to be going to bed at 10.30, which is when I would normally go to bed. Did it get harder or easier as your talent, confidence?

popularity increased. You'd think it would get easier, but maybe it gets harder because you know people are watching you? Expectation? It was always hard and always fun. Yeah. Anyway, it's the way people often describe Sean.

You know that, right? Often hard. Always hard and always fun. That's me. That was his candle in high school, I think. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, sorry, sorry, it's just like, it's just a fucking crap shoot over here, Kate.

Look, we don't want to take you down memory lane, but we have to, because we want to get to know you. We want to know. Let's shuttle all the way through S&L now. Okay, let's get to the end of S&L, and we make the decision to move on. Frightening, but great success, right? out the door and uh and and and and and and now you're flying high and um but i bet it was a a little

a little nerve-wracking at the beginning right oh just just i don't i don't like change and so it was um just terrible i just i hate i hate goodbyes i hate change and so um it was uh not a decision made lightly and i was just so sad i just was so sad and um really do miss uh everybody that i worked with because it's it's a beautiful it's such a family and it's uh it's wonderful and i it's like olive garden that place right yeah yeah yeah good like but i um but then i i wanted to when you're there when you're there you are eating breadsticks and plus they do have also like unlimited bread What about, what, were you, were you, were you, were you writing books at while you were doing this?

Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, oh, that was just, that was something that I started doing to, uh, when I, like, wasn't at S&L, I just, I, I, I, I, I always loved, you know, I love, I love characters. Oh, sure. I love big hair and I love, uh, funny names. Sashimi. Sashimi. Sashimi. Sashimi. And we will be right back.

And now, back to the show. Can I ask you a serious question? What about, what about being? Yeah, I got to come in. I got to get in there. So the big gay sketch show, you were obviously gay and out because you're on a show called The Big Gay Sketch Show. But then when you went into Scenarian Live,

did you have, were you out and proud? Or was it something you struggled with keeping a secret? Or am I an idiot and you were out? and I just didn't know, or did that play an impact or not? Bless your heart. Bless your heart. No, I was out. I was, it was on the internet. Okay, great. So it must be true. It was on the internet in 2006. So there, there it was. And, um, and I'm glad. I'm glad it was because No pun. No pun on the glad thing. Mm-hmm. For Tracy, glad is a LGBTQ organization. Because it was, it was already, it was already done. And I, I, I, so I, uh,

You know, I am a coward, and I don't know if I would have had the courage to do it if I had not already done it. I would have, I would have had to. But then did you, did you, does my Wikipedia research accurate? Did you, you confirmed all when you gave Ellen an award and thanked her for blazing the trail of kicking the door down? Question? I did, I think it was pretty obvious the whole time. I did give Ellen that award, yes. Okay.

Wiki really framed that as a pivotal moment. Well, okay, okay. I thought I was gay, gay before that, but that's cool. No, that's interesting. No, they're trying to claim it. Beyonce was at my table that night. Beyonce was? Yes, and she was wearing a dress that was so...

Nice, nice, the shoulders were so tall. and I don't know how she saw to her left or to her right oh wow I guess she didn't need to she was so resplendent she was so I couldn't look at her well the confidence to just know

that you only need to look forward that really speaks to a level of confidence that you're not worried about what's on either side it's all a smooth sailing it's everything's wide open wider than

the Grand Central Park we had Monday at 10 p.m. Just nothing. It's great. It's great. These callbacks, you got to keep your knees bent, Kate.

He'll keep coming. Do you think, do you think, so stupid. I mean, before it turns into the northern state, sure.

Obviously. Obvious. Now, do you think that... The Tri-Brow is my favorite bridge. I don't know about you. I do. I like the Triborough.

Not the GW. No. Tap and Z. Trash. That's way too far in north. What's not called Cuomo now? Hey, you know what's kind of underrated is the Queensboro? I love, I also love the Queensboro Bridge is pretty good.

Also referred to as the Midtown Bridge or the 52nd Street Bridge. No, no. Never referred to as that. So, Kate, I don't know what, he's up in Midtown. It is up in, it's the one that empties out right by Silvercombe. I could talk parkways with you all day, Will. All day. I really could.

This is fun stuff. Oh, you love the cross Bronx, Express right? Yeah. Oh, I do like the cross Bronx. And what is the name of the Polish bridge, Kyanoski or whatever? Pulaski. Kishu-Laski Bridge that's on the BQE.

Yeah. That's the Pulaski. She's got the first word. No, is that right? Yeah. She's got the first name. Oh, I'm sorry. This Kishkuzko is into Greenpoint.

Am I thinking of the wrong bridge? No, I think you're thinking of the wrong. Say it one more time. Kiskechko. Will, you know what I'm talking, help me up. It's all lit up. now. They've got nice colored lights on it. Reach in and rescue me.

Oh, oh, oh. Is it not a bridge? It is a bridge. But it's an inter-Brooklyn bridge, though, right? This is chaos. Yes, I, yes, yes, yes. We're in a four-wheel slide here on the Christian mission. This is pure chaos, you guys.

A, uh, you know, you know, Kate, here on my question list. No, you're right, it's the Casisco, it's the Casisco bridge. No, that's on the BQE. Sure. Right? That's the, that's the one that's on the BQE, the Cizzoe, the Cizcoe, the Cusisco Bridge. Thank you because I thought

I have lost my marbles. You're right. Can I come off? Anyway, all right. So guys. On the Pulaski, we're, let's take a look at the live

traffic if we could. Where's the Veritza? You know, by the way, a little sidebar here. I'd like to start a side hustle. I'd like to see

Will Arnett hosts our night live. Oh, man. You could get that momentum going? You never have, Will? I know, would you love to see. Geez, Louisville, that would be incredible. What about for the movie coming out?

Yes, for the movie coming out. It's been too long. It's been too long. Who's running things over there now? Lindsay is she still there? No. No? Well, whoever is in there.

Let's get Arnett over there. At least as a musical guest. It's too much. The history is too storied. No, they love that over there. It makes it for a great story. Anyway. Bring your bongos, Will, and just play the music.

Who told you about the bongos? I gave you those. Hey, if you couldn't. You did give me those. Kate, if you weren't a New York Times bestselling author or America's sweetheart on the TV or film, let's not forget about the film jobs, what would you be doing?

Carpentry. Truly? Really? You and Nick Offerman. Yeah. Really? And John Stewart, they say. I, no, it's a thing that, yeah,

folks are doing carpentry and so on. am I and I'm doing it and that's what but I always said I have always said I know you have that I would make cabinets that I would want to make cabinets it's true and you threatened the world with that no it's start with the whole wiki page starts that and I and I and I and I now I have made a cabinet is that true a real cat yes I have do you do an Amish style with no nails no not that good I'm not a carpenter it sounds like we're upstate when we're making cabinet a tree? Sure thing.

Sure. So you got like a handsome old farm, like a barn up there that you've kind of refurbished. It's fine. Sure, no, I'll bet it's good. I've got a garage and I got a bunch of stuff in there. Tools? A bunch of stuff going on. Yeah.

So that's my new. So when I... You got a workshop in the garage? Yeah, I got a workshop. Yeah. You got a workshop? You've got a bench and you've got a bunch of power tools and things like that. I bet there's fun to buy.

I have a lot. You love a Home Depot? I go to Lowe's. I have a local loss. And, yeah, that's what I... So when I left S&L, I needed to know that I was jumping to something, which was making cabinets, and that's what I have done in my spare time. And you've just done the one so far?

I've done a bunch of stuff. Okay, you don't need to scream. What's your favorite... Are you most proud of the cabinet? No, we nailed it. Sorry, go ahead. That was just a quick word From the gang over at Lowe

That just came through on my text I'm so sorry I'm fucking shameless guys I'm sorry I just made $4,200 bucks Oh Wait Kate Do you have a certain thing

In woodworking That you feel like You're your best at You know? Trim Molding Penalding Okay sorry

Different Sorry okay Hey Kate By the way this book, so I have a five-year-old. Yeah. Is this book going to be appropriate for my five-year-old? Okay, so the books, okay, so we, you know, I was joking before about the book being

about a diver named Natalie. That's not true. The book is the second in a, it's the second book in a series of books called the Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science, okay? And it's a middle grade novel, which is for ages, you know, eight, to 14 Harry Potter is a middle grade novel

heard of it anyway so Raul Dahl was a middle grade author heard of them yeah and of course

so this no so I started writing this book I came up with this idea with these characters like 10 years ago and whenever I wasn't at S&L I would be writing

this thing and then so when I finished us and help finally i had time to complete what happens when she starts talking fast you guys the novel and um and so this so the secrets of the purple pearl is the second in the millicent quibb series and it's about a mad scientist who starts a school for girls and a repressive turn of the century town and then in the second one the purple pearl you know they're at a hotel and they're having an adventure and they're looking for a purple pearl no i do like those i do like those

those books are What? The middle, what's it called? Middle grade? Middle grade. Middle grade. Middle grade books are very important to get kids. I read Harry Potter

when it first came out of the 90s because I was like, what's going on the hub of this? I want to kind of know. In between your Holocaust books? In between World War II? I mean, this guy, you have any questions on World War II

bring him to Willie A. That's a true story. You know what? I'm not reading World War II stuff anymore. Oh. What would have moved on to? Some sort of... I just finished.

He knows the ending. I do. I just read this book about the siege of Mecca that was a couple weeks ago and then I read Freedom by Jonathan Frenzen. That was really good. It's a little, it's older, but I just read it recently. That's fiction though, yeah, for instance? Yeah, yeah. So it's really sort of brought in my horizon recently. Thank you. Were you writing, were you writing when you were like at SNL instead, or did you have designs on writing literature in this way? Yes, I wanted to. I really, I wanted to be a, a Y-A, no, a middle-grade novelist.

But Y. Okay, so middle-grade, so the thing about Y-A is it's like monsters and making out. Love that. Middle grade is fantasy. It's discovering your identity. It's grappling with questions of do you want to be, how do you want to appear in the world? Who are you? What are you for?

Right. What are you fighting for? What are you willing to sacrifice to fight? for it. These are the questions of middle grade and so I'm very drawn to the genre. Also these books can be really funny and they and people

characters can have really good funny names and I think names and hair and funny voice are the most important that does a character make. Now what about the illustrations then in these books? How

involved with you with that are you? I would say that I was involved, the illustrator is a beautiful artist named Alfredo Caceres and he did such a beautiful art. I did have like ideas of what the stuff, you know, because it's imagination. And I could see it in my mind.

So I made little doodles and then he made beautiful art. Right. So you had some notes. And was Alfredo amenable to your notes? Or was that an interesting creative negotiation? It was a beautiful collaborative process. and he's um it was wonderful okay i i described and he created yeah kate mckenon it's a monday and you have to talk to us donkeys and then you hang up you leave you leave the publishers the house okay okay uh some of my favorite comedians yeah what's the rest of your eyes closed you keep

closing your eyes when you say that what kate when you leave when you leave the publisher's office where do you go what do you do on a monday like today had you not been doing this. What are you doing? Well, it's hot in New York. She's going to Union Square to sling popsicles, right? No, but I mean are you going to the movies? Are you going to a bookstore? Are you going for lunch? Are you watching reality TV? What are you doing? This is the thing we want to know about Kim

McKinnon. Okay? Let's get inside the mind. What are you doing? I do, well, I'm going to be doing some stone masonry later, but that's another story. I do watch a lot of reality television. Oh, what's your favorite? Wait, are you a Love Island girl? Or are you an alone girl? I have done all of that

Try Outlast on Netflix Outlast Yeah, listen, I mean, you know Oh, you did that's good Yeah, it's fun It's like a combo between alone and Survivor I really like that Yeah, that's an aggregate show. Yeah, yeah, that's cool

That's an aggregate joint Yeah, yeah, we got a new one coming out Wow, you got your hands in a lot of pies Yeah, well that got him in so much trouble Obviously back in the day So then, so you're going to... You're licking cherries off your stuff. Wow.

So wait, so we're driving back upstate in your Volvo stage? In the Volvo stage. Prius. And a Prius? Prius hybrid. Okay. Good for you. And you'll be there by, you'll be there...

You'll be there at 435. Well, that depends on the traffic on the G-Dub. Are you a cooker, or do you like to order in? I cook every day three times. the day. This is an honest podcast. Is that true? I cook every day three times a day.

I must. What's the most, what's the thing that you cook the most frequently for yourself? Yeah, you go to. What's you go to? I cook, I, you know, I've become a gardener, big gardener. Okay. And I, um, you got veggies. So I make, I just chop up whatever I've got.

And I just, I do it. Yeah. And plant parmesan. Yeah. Yeah? That's what I do. Oh my God. A meelage, a vegetable meelage over whatever I got.

I got a question for you, and I want you to be honest with me of this. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Whitestone or Throg's Neck Bridge? If you're going to Westchester. To get off Long Island? I'm just saying, yeah, to get off Long Island. Throggs.

No, be honest. Throg's neck. Throg's neck. Throg's neck. Oh, shit, you know, landslide. Hey, you know what? We're going to take it out on a high note right there. I don't touch the White Stone.

Kate McKinnon, you're one of the all-time greats. All-time greats. You're a fucking comedy, fucking heavyweight. I swear to God. You know your way around the tri-state area. Oh, my God. You can coax a laugh out of people. She can hammer a nail.

She can pick a carrot. You know how to coax a laugh. You're the best. I can't pick a carrot. Yeah. And I think you could too. By the way, you just buy yourself a little discount next time you go into Lowe's. That's guaranteed.

Yeah, they nailed it. Loz. We nailed it. You know what else? Kate, you nailed it today, huh? You did nail it. Oh, thank you, boys. No, you don't like goodbyes.

So when you're done, you can just slam that laptop and just blow us a little kiss. And we'll pretend it's not over. And we love you. I love you all. Can't we see you again? Did you get the script yet for Office Christmas Party, too? Just check your inbox. Okay?

We'll see on set. I will. I thank you. I'd like to play a different character. No, no, no, yeah, we're all going to rotate. I'd like to play a desk. Oh, so you guys, you two knew each other from that. A little bit.

Oh, we. Yeah, we go so far back. We go back. No, I don't like to talk about my own stuff. It's Black Rabbit, September 18th there on Netflix, or Outlast, if you like reality. Do you guys shoot that in Hiram, Georgia? Is that what you shot off his Christmas party? Well, all I know is a lot of night shoots on a soundstage.

Yeah. Thanks, everybody. Love you. mean it. Thank you so much. Bye, Kate. We'll see you soon, Kate McKinnon. Everybody read The Purple Pearl. The Purple Pearl. And get ready for the next

bit of acting from our miss here because she's the tip top. Thank you so much. The great Kate McKinnon, guys. Thank you for doing the show, Kate. All right. Catch you later. Bye, bye, bye, bye. Slam it. Oh, you just leave it. There it is. Yeah.

Well, now that is it's just a nice person there with incredible levels of talent and creativity all packed into one brain she's made so many people laugh you know on that wiki page they've got all of her impressions listed that she did on Saturday Night Live

it must be like 50 or 60 names there and I didn't even start clicking on them because I would have been late for the record but good Christ do you guys do any impressions truly No Hey Arnett

Stop trying to Google a good buy I'm not I got one Do you really All right keep it Keep it warm Any impressions from either one of you Or actually Sean

We've heard your British cab driver Was it earlier? Yeah that's something like that Okay Wait what's an impression An impression of like a famous person Like what about like Oh remember

Matt did you ever see that show Take your time. Did you ever see that show The Night of? Do you ever see that show on HBO The Night of? Yes, sure. And the older woman who played the prosecutor.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is her name? She's such an incredible actor. She's so good. I used to imitate her all the time. That's very good. I used to do it. I have it all in my shoulder.

Wait, by the way, you just reminded me of something. I saw over the weekend, Amy Madigan plays a character in a movie called Weapons. Oh, I want to see that movie. This movie is so goddamn good. This guy, Zach Kregor, writer-director, holy shit is he talented. Julia Garner's in it, Josh Brolin's in it.

This movie's so freaking good, you guys. I'm serious. No, I heard it's got 100% of Rotten Tomatoes. Amy Madigan plays somebody very disturbing and it's got wigs and teeth and a voice. I'm all in. Oh, my God, is it good. Wigs and a teeth?

Oh, my God, I love wigs and teeth. It's no, is this thing on, but it'll do until it comes out. Okay? Yeah. And Oscar's keeping things, what is it, keeping it tight, keeping it right with Oscar?

Let's ask Oscar. Is that what it's called? Let's ask Oscar. No, it's actually called Good Night Oscar, but I wish it was called Good. Bye! Bye! Oscar!

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