SmartLess - "Kirsten Dunst"

Episode Date: October 6, 2025

Wake up with the TV on; it’s Kirsten Dunst. Cheer squad, burger talk, dream work, cake campaigns, and a sign that says “Smile, It’s Showtime.” Make sure to clean the CPAP machine in between… on an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jason Will and I mean, Will and I are the only two people in glasses. Will, you usually wear glasses? I was like a billing, that was like a billing situation. You said Jason and well, no, no, no, sorry, I mean, Will and Jason. No, I said. It's like Will, will calls you and said, listen, next time you mentioned my name along with Jason, you mentioned my name first.

And you also say and introducing Will and introducing with the, I prefer the. I want to say Will and introducing Will? Yes. No, say, yeah. You're saying that you're only two in glasses. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, don't you usually wear glasses. I do.

I wear my reading glasses, but I'm far back enough now from my screen that I don't. So I look younger than you guys. Well, you know, you don't need to see Will today very well because he's doing an audio show called Smartless. And welcome to it. Smartless. Let's hang on a second. Sean Hayes is back in town.

No, you can't applaud for yourself. Don't start the applause, Sean. We'll start it. Okay, there you can join it. You know, just... This guy! So happy to have me back. By the way, I have to tell you something.

So happy. I would go, I went out the stage door after a couple of shows, no, after one show. And people were doing that bit. They're like, Bravo! No, in England.

Yeah, in England, yeah, yeah. You guys. But... The bits travel sometimes. People are listening. But I just got back last night, and I swear to God I weighed about 179, 180 when I left,

I weighed 165. 165 pounds. So you lost 15 pounds while you were in... Well, if you lost it and you're looking for it, I can tell you where to find it. How long will it take to you? get it back. I swear to God for breakfast,

I just had a bowl of pasta and two pieces of cake because it was Scottie's birthday yesterday. You got a big race tomorrow or something? Wait, wait, it's 9.30 in the morning right now, and you've already had... But to him, it's din, din, time. A bowl of pasta and two pieces of cake.

His belly is saying, feed me, it's dinner time. That's right. That's exactly right. Yeah. It was, but, yeah, no, I got back yesterday at like, uh, one in the afternoon, and I went to bed at, 8 p.m.

And I got up at 1 a.m. and then went back to bed. I got up at 7. So I slept like 12 hours. Yeah, you needed it. It's crazy, yeah. And did you have to clean the CPAP machine in between? You're on, you're still on that.

Are you not? No, I lost the weight so I don't need it. Wait, truly? Truly? It was the weight that was... Well, it's a combination of things. I try not to sleep on my back, too, but yeah. Okay.

And do you have, like, nails on your back or something so that if you roll on your back, back it pokes you away yeah that would be good strap on some sort of like a nail bed people used to do that they'd like uh they'd put like a tennis ball they'd wrap like a tennis ball on their back no they didn't what he's talking about what do you mean did they look it up oh do the research wait keep going do the reason what you mean research people go i did the research oh did the research what do you mean oh you have access to google yeah wait what website told you that people used to strap a tennis ball to the smaller back uh i read that a long

time ago. Wait, to do what? To do what? I don't know. Somehow, like, put a tennis ball on the, on the, I forget how they do it, like, in their shirt or whatever. So that if they roll onto their back, it's uncomfortable, and then they want to roll back, or it's gentle. They do it with, like, duct tape or something like, or like a tensor bandage or something, I don't know. Don't say fucking

tenser ever again. You know I think... Your dumb lips. Tenser. Tenser. Stupid. Stop looking at my lips. Profitional Greek. I was doing it this morning. Were you?

Yeah, we are a professional grade. The river doesn't damn itself. This country wasn't built in a day. Not a week either. You do Santa Claus too, Will, right? You play Santa Claus. No, it's Batman. Oh, Batman.

You know what? Batman's Santa Claus. Hey, Sean, we got to get you a nice campaign. What would you like to sling commercials for? Yeah. Call it right now. Is cake a thing? Yeah.

It's a general cake spot. It's all cake products. Makers of America. Yeah. Sean, would you like to go to a cake convention? Wouldn't that be fun? Wouldn't that be great? How was the reintroduction to your dog?

Did he give you any attitude? He comes back today in about three hours. Still haven't seen him. How long has it been? Three months. Wow. Yeah. Do you think he's going to give you a little bit of a hairy eyeball?

He, like, welcome back. Side eye. No, he will. Will he poop in the bed? No. he will, I'll do that. No, he'll, oh, Sean, still? Welcome home.

No, he's, he'll go, wow, it's you, and then run, and just play, and want to treat. It sounds like Scotty. Listen, Sean, we're so happy to have you back in the fold. We miss you the other night. We talked about you all the time. I know. I know. Are we all hanging out this Sunday?

Yeah. What if you guys were like, sorry, that was it? Last Sunday was it. We are Sunday. But in the meantime, Hollywood Bowl. Oh, well, by the way, sorry, we are going to the Hollywood Bowl. We are going to the Hollywood Bowl. November 15th, Hollywood Bowl.

We got a couple of guests. I got a super big guest. Will, you better bring the noise on your guest. Yeah, I'm going to bring the noise. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're also going to have some special guests as well. It's going to be a lot of fun. Special guest sprinkled around?

Oh, yeah, we're going to have a lot of shiny moving objects. Am I going to be told about the special guests? Yeah, you've already been told. We've talked about it before, but I mean, you just don't listen. But anyway... Tell me your name one more time. Oh, God. I'm sorry, unless I put it in the context of golf, he doesn't hear it.

Jason, we already talked about it. We did. Yeah, I know, we already talked about it. I remember? Okay, we're going to welcome our guest. Is this someone that's going to make me nervous? It's really... Well, I get nervous about the secret guest up now.

You know this person, and you're going to be nervous about it because she's like a... She's a super wattage megatown, but I've had the pleasure of meeting this person a few times, and I'm always a little starstruck I got to admit. You only meet someone once. She was nominated for her first, Golden Globe when she was 12. Shut. What? Yeah. And has

kept it going ever since. She's been in countless fantastic movies. Once you start naming him, it's like, forget it. I don't think you do know it is. It's not Jody Foster. She's been in, I don't even know, I can't even but her first nomination was for

interview with a vampire. Shirley Temple. She's just got, uh, Gilman Drop-Drafts, Dead Gorgeous, Spider-Man movie Civil War last year. And Roof Man October 10th is a year. Hi. I fucking guessed it. By the way, that's the first time I think I ever got it right.

By the Academy Award nominee, you didn't even let me get to them. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You robbed her of that. Hi, Kirsten Dunst. Hi, I'm so happy to be on the show. Does anyone call you KD? Yes. Really?

Yes, I'm a lot of names. Well, listen here. Listen here, KD. You're never going to work for the government because, so I'm in Toronto and I'm walking by her table, you guys. And up she pops. Hey, I'm about to be. on your show. I'm like, hey. That's right.

That's supposed to be a secret. So your government job is done. That's amazing. But I was like, okay, I'll play like a big surprise. But you never know. You didn't know. You never know when it's going to happen. You never know when it's going to happen.

That's the good news. And you guys were up at Tiff because you were up there promoting Black Rabbit and Kirsten were up there promoting roofman, which I'm really excited. The following day and it was killer. I hear it's amazing. I can't wait to see that movie. It's so good.

It's like a perfect. like Christmas movie. You know, I love it. Love it, love it, love it. I can't wait to see it. And we're all very excited for it. And we're really excited that you're here. It feels like finally a little bit.

Couldn't make a deal. Where are you? Where is this? I'm into Lucca Lake. Oh, wow. In the Val. Will and I are about to shank a couple of balls into your backyard.

We are about to be there in a couple hours. There's probably a better way to say that. Yeah. Yeah, don't worry. We'll scrub it. So you were supposed to be on here a couple years ago for Civil War

and I forget what happened as a schedule thing blah blah blah blah Oh one of you were sick Yeah Yeah yeah yeah for sure Yeah yeah yeah for sure JB

Always battling Wait I love You were so great in that movie That movie was really cool I know I love Civil War It was so good I know I need to see that

I'm scared to see that I feel like it's probably super good super accurate It's like the same reason You know that movie United 93 That Paul Greengrass

Yeah sure I'll never see that because what I hear is that it's just too good. It puts you on a plane that's plummeting from the sky for two and a half minutes. I did that movie

that's coming out next year, on a plane. No. What is it called? Really? The entertainment system is down. Oh, yes. Wait, what?

What is that about? That's the guy who did Triangle of Sadness. Yes, and horse majeure. Ruben Oslin, his name is. You're in a Ruben Oslin film? Yeah, that's like, that was, yeah. You and your hobby are just in about

every great movie you ever want to be in. I know, I know. And your husband, Jesse, Plymouth, who's also a wonderful guy, I had a pleasure of meeting both of you last year or something, just sweet, sweet, super talent. And so you did that movie, The Entertainment System is Down,

which I've just read about, which looks awesome. What is that, like satellites go out or something? Well, what is that? Sound less perturbed about it. No, no, I want to know because it sounds cool. What are they like, the satellites are down or something? Do I still get emails and stuff like that? Can I still do candy crush?

Does Candy Crush work? By the way, that's real. That's all I do. Wait, what, like, you don't have to, I know we're talking about something on the movie, but tell me what that's, that one's about just, like, briefly, because I love sci-fi stuff or whatever. It's not sci-fi. Oh, yeah, but I mean, like, Doomsday stuff?

Well, it's human doomsday, basically, on a plane. Yeah, it's human dooms. So it's called the entertainment system is down because there's no Wi-Fi, there's nothing. Right, right. So you have to deal with each other. Okay, that's what I want to see. John, it's like, you know, you know, like the bar,

you know the bar on Tatooine in Star Wars? Oh, got it, I'm on board. I'm on board. Okay, sorry, I just wanted to put it into context that you could understand. So, Kira's, walk us through a little bit how you, I mentioned that you got your first big award nomination. It was for Golden Globe when you were 12 years old.

How trippy was that? I mean, for a 12-year-old. I don't think I really realized, like, you know what? I was working on Jamanji, and everyone's like, you're going to win, you're going to win. And so don't tell a little girl that, because I didn't win. And then I was crying on, Jane Seymour was next to me, like, for Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

And I was just, like, crying under the table, pretty much. On the, at the table, on NBC, in front of all the, and everyone's all banged up on champagne, and there's a little girl there looking for someone to hold. Wow.

Yeah. Did you have a speech all lined up and everything? I don't remember if I did, but. But hey, better to, better to kind of learn that at a young age that, you know, you can't trust the outcome of stuff, you know, later. Yeah, I was going to say,

did it help kind of right size all of that stuff eventually? You know, it's like award stuff doesn't, like, you know, we all know, like the good stuff we all love usually doesn't get nominated or doesn't win. It's like, so really all you have is the experience of making it. That's all you have, really. It's also, it's so odd, isn't it, that, like, you're not, like, the competition of it all, no one's playing the same character. It's like, you know, 100-yard-Dash, you know, everyone's going the same distance

who gets here quicker. It's pretty clear. I had to audition for the movie on the plane for the entertainment system is down. Oh, you did? Yes. And that feeling, I hadn't been that excited

to get a role since Interview with the Vampire. Wow. To me, auditioning and getting something is like, that is crazy. When was the last time you auditioned before the Ruben Oslin thing? I auditioned for this movie with Jeff Nichols,

the director, Jeff Nichols called Midnight Special. The great Jeff Nichols. That was a great movie, Midnight Special. Yeah. Love that movie. So, but wait, so that was like 10 years ago. Yeah, it had been a minute.

At least. I don't think, yeah. Oh, my God, were you nervous auditioning again? I would be terrified. I did a self-tape. I rolled by myself. Yeah, it is easier. The new world.

It was a, yeah, it was all improv. He gave me an improv. And, yeah, I just, you know, put my iPhone. I just taped it on my iPhone. And if you sucked, you just get to do it again. Yeah, I did two takes. I felt I was like, and I didn't watch it. And I just sent it.

Did you ask Jesse to look at it? No, he was away. So no one was there. So you were just all by yourself? Yeah. No way. And so what do you think he was looking for? Do you mind saying what the improv was?

No, not at all. My improv was a, two people are sitting bored next to each other on a plane. He's asleep with our son. and I am bored and look at his phone. And I discover that he's been cheating on me. So it's like, you know, hanging out on the plane, bored, do the whole like face recognition thing. Right.

And... Wait, not so that's all your... That's all your idea. No, no, this is all he wanted me to do this vibe, basically, the director. And so then I see a memory comes up on the iPhone that is like, to Cotton Eye Joe That song And it's supposed to be like

Him cheating with a bunch of different women Where did you come from? Where did you go? Exactly. So then I see that he's been cheating on me I wake him up But at first I have to go through You know all the emotions and shit And since there was no one else in the improv with you

As soon as you wake him up And you start to confront him it's over It's over I was like you need to wake up And then I just got pissed And I got up and shut off my phone I love it. I would have loved.

I mean, it's wild to do a self-tape of an improv by yourself. I know. Yeah. That's so weird. I did put Jesse's camera like that because he's always shooting film of our family. So I put his camera nearby, so I had like a, I don't know, a symbol. This is real actuary right now. Of him, of something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How long have you guys been married? Oh, God. I don't even know. We've been together for about 10 years. We got married after kids. Yeah. Really?

Three years, maybe? Oh, okay, got it. Yeah. That's great. Wait, talk a little bit about, so doing that audition for that movie by yourself, the nightmare self-tape improv, which is bizarre. But it'd probably been a minute since you said you auditioned for another film,

but how different was when you first started auditioning when you were a kid, basically. And, J.B., you had that experience, too, auditioned. a lot when you were a kid, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what that process was like back then, what it meant to you back then, did you feel were the stakes high, or was it just kind of like after school,

go do it and then go do your thing? Yeah, what is that like? Do you put a big thing on it? What do you think, Kirsten? I did. I did because, well, like, okay, we were at the Oakwood Apartments. Oh, my God.

And I was going to normal schools. For my sister, for Tracy, The Oakwood Apartments is a complex where a lot of actors would stay while they're interested. Because you can rent it monthly. Yes. I'd come out for pilot season, a bunch of years in a row and stayed there. Same. Yeah.

Oh, same. Where were you coming from? I'm from New Jersey. Okay. Yeah. All right. You guys could have careful. Yeah.

So we would come out, yeah. We probably covered. Remember you used to have that sign on the back, the one on Barham, right? Yeah, yeah. So, and the back gate one had it, as you were waiting for the gate to open, there was a little sign on the gate as it moved that said, smile it. showtime. Oh, God, I don't remember. And I remember thinking, like, how soon do you want me to take my own life?

So depressing. Not getting any jobs. Go get them. Oh, God. Anyway, so you come out your... So you're Oakwood. So you're at Oakwood with your... I'm an Oakwood. My mom, my brother, and my grandma. Wow. But I would go to normal school. I went to Laurel Hall in the Valley. Sure. Where I met my best friend. So I had like a normal-ish life because I never was home tutored or anything. Yeah. But yeah, auditioning was when it was a big role, like I remember this, it was like I auditioned for interview with the vampire, auditioned for the secret garden, and I didn't get the

secret garden. And I remember sobbing about them. Wow. But now, but was it, did it get more stressful as you got older? No, because I think because I got success from interview, I didn't have to audition for a long time. Like, I auditioned for little women, but it wasn't frequent enough to traumatize me. I auditioned for Spider-Man was the big next one that I auditioned for. Uh-huh.

Did you get it? I did. And what's that? So he's jet lagged, forget us that he's just cheeky. Even though he's not in England anymore, he's still cheeky. J.B., did you ever, did you ever, I mean this honestly, did you ever sob or have that thing, that pressure? I remember you talking about the pressure of getting a job because, it was the family business.

I never cried, but what was worse was that I'd be so paralyzed with fear on the way to auditions when I got to be in my 20s because I literally needed the employment. I needed, you know, it wasn't just like fun when I was like a little kid and I get to skip school and all that stuff.

And then it became like, you know, well, this is my occupation. It's how I make... Did you support your family, Jason? I contributed for sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Did you, Kirsten? I didn't have to

It started out as like Fun, college money, whatever And then my parents got divorce And then it was a little like Well, you're making the most money So my mom lives in my back house, okay? Aw, that's sweet Yeah, I'm a good daughter

That's good, that is sweet, yeah, I love that Very, very cute We'll be right back And now back to the show All right, so you're in Toluca Lake. What's going on? Is Jesse in town? Or are you, you guys must take turns single parenting?

I was going to get into that. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, it's so hard. I had a real moment last night. I just went to my friend's house. I was like, I can't parent alone tonight. I just can't do it. Just leave a bunch of milk and crackers out.

Well, I took them with me. Oh, gotcha. No, no, I just brought them all. J.B., what do you think she's doing over there, man? That's how I grew up. Wait, how many kids and how old? I have two boys, but like literally I'm getting ready for this and I get this sign.

I need you. Him sad, me with the door shut. Oh. Look at that drawing. Sean's dog drew a similar picture. Wait, did he make that joke? So, listener, this is a picture of Kirsten inside one room with the door closed and then her son on the outside.

Upset. And so did he slide that under the door? Yes. No. Mommy come out. Yeah. And I let them sleep in bed with B.U. and Jesse's not here. Like, I am like, actually, you know who we watch, Will, is the Lego Master's show.

Nice. I'll put you right out, right? Yeah, no, I use that. That's like, yeah. It's like a sugar crash. It's fun. It's calming. It's a fun thing to watch with.

kids, isn't it? It's a very fun family show. So are you guys always so one of you is pretty much is it safe to say always working and that's why you have to just or do you have like a schedule? No, we had the summer together. It's like whoever's up next like whatever

we're still trying to figure it out you know but I mean it's really hard it's really hard so yeah they're four and seven so it's like and they're two boys. It's a lot yeah it's a lot. Yeah I

I've been there, been there and done that. Have you thought about, and you can shut us up any time we're getting too personal. Have you thought about the, shut up? I didn't know that was an option. Fucking shut up.

This is the fucking greatest day on the podcast. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. About the possible convenience of homeschooling, you know, where you guys just drag them around. I don't want my kids be weird. I know, I know, exactly.

I'm with you. They need that social interaction. probably right yeah no i know plenty of parents so that have done it successfully so who are we to judge but it i i definitely benefited from getting getting uh away from adults and into school and being with kids when i wasn't working it was yeah and they would just you pick up the great news was the bus that picked you up was the school yeah that turns out jason went to school on a bus and he didn't drop out high school. He was dropped off from high school. It is true. It's going to be a fun chapter

in the book one day. Oh, God. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Don't you cry. Don't you cry, J.B. No, I'm not crying. You're crying. So, and you kind of mentioned you didn't really have to audition anymore, and you kind of did for little women, but then you just started doing, and you mentioned you get nominated, I guess, when you're doing Jumanji, which was a huge hit.

It's massive. Yeah, massive. And you just, you kind of went on this running of, like, just being in these big, massive movies, and you're young. Yeah. So you're like, oh, well, this is my reality. It wasn't, though. Like, I was almost embarrassed. Really? Really?

I think so. And I didn't really, I, like, had a blocker up, I think, that didn't compute what I was doing. Plus, what am I doing? I'm going to school. I have my best friend. We're in our own world. Like, I really lived in a very little, like, school bubble, you know? I would do my thing.

I know, but didn't it get weird, like, on the weekends and you go to your school parties and all the kids at the party and you're just trying to, you just feel like you're just one of the kids at the weekend party and then like, oh, hey, that's that girl from the movie I saw last week. Like, wasn't that to me? No? Really? Come on.

You were pretty famous, though. Yeah, but I don't know. They didn't do that to me at school. Yeah. I don't. Maybe it was like a, I was very. normal I didn't come into school like hey look at me you know I was I was embarrassed so right yeah like talk to me about that what do you mean embarrassed like embarrassed because of the attention that you

got that that was a byproduct of the movie that you weren't looking for I think I just didn't want to be singled out at school as anything other than another student there and high school too like I didn't want anyone to call me out or be like so I underplayed myself were you already through high school when you did bring it on? It was senior year, the summer before senior year. I love that movie so much. Like the ultimate cheerleading high school movie, too,

of all the time. But we didn't know that at the time. That was like a little San Diego Who Cares movie, the Universal. You know, it wasn't like, no one knew that that would be a bit. Do you still remember some of the cheers? You know I do. Do you do it? Do you ever

do it sometimes ironically on set when you're trying to ramp up the crew in the past, I could do it's a fucking night shoot and it's time to keep going. Ready, okay. Five, five. I did it for my sons yesterday because we went to this 25th anniversary.

Well, we went to this 25th anniversary, bring it on thing on Sunday night. No way. And they had good pop-pops. So I brought some pop-pops home and I was like doing cheers for them and spelling their names. That's the only show. Those are the only people that are going to get that show.

Did they like it? Yes, my son was like looking at me like I was like, Whoa, like a golden goddess. I didn't know you could do this mom. You don't want him to like it too much. Cheers squad. Yeah, I actually, a mom recruited me to start a cheer squad at the school. Really?

Oh, wow. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I'm going to do it. I'll do it, yeah. I love that you're going to do that. I do love that show. That's so cool. That's show cheer on Netflix.

Oh, yeah. That's right. That's real good. I know. I know. Is it? Is it dark? What is it? Well, it got dark. A guy got arrested for bad things. Yeah.

Really? Wait, I didn't see that one. Well, no, no. Did that happen on the show or away from it? Off the show, off the show, yeah. Oh, got it. Wait, Shawnee, did you ever experiment with Cheer Squad? No, but my sister was a cheerleader.

What's your sister's name? Her name is Tracy. Okay. With an EY or is it just why? In the EY, yeah. And she... Where she lives? She lives in Wisconsin.

Does she know much about that? The biz? Yeah. No. Do you have to explain stuff to her ever? Yeah, anytime you guys can think about it, just make sure. Continue. And so she would have, she would do cheerleading things, and she would do pompons.

Oh, wait, do I have the photo? No. And there's a picture of me and her. I love you to grab a baton. I'm so excited. So I learned how to do the baton at a young age. What is the little thing, the dude in front of the band, the marching band? It's not...

The stick. So it's got a pointy stick and then a little ball at the top. a little ball at the top. Is that also a baton or just a staff or like a band leader stick? Or staff. Yeah, stuff. Yeah, something like that. Anyway, Kirsten.

I'm happy chilling. Yeah, you don't get to talk on this show. I love it. Wait, so tell me, wait, because like Will said, you've done so many gigantic movies, is there, I know you don't want to, they're all important to you and all of your work is important. But they're all different, like, sort of different styles. Like, you really bounce around. You can't be pegged to one thing.

Like, you've did, you've had these, like, it almost feels like different phases. Well, they're just different roles, I guess. That's what it is. Yeah. But is there one where you're just like, you know what? That was the greatest experience of my whole career so far. And you just thought, like, there's no way it can get better than that. Not result necessarily, but just, yeah, yeah.

No, yeah, no, the experience, the experience. Huh. I don't know, because, like, movies aren't fun to make. You know what I mean? Right, right. Yeah. So, but, God, I, I really liked. He'll take the worst experience.

I liked making melancholia. I don't, it was like, it was like this little isolated. It felt like we were doing a play. We all lived in this small town in Sweden and this hotel slash housing place. And it was, it was just like cozy and really calm and so. So, when I'm at, like, comforting. I don't know. It was just, I just felt like, oh, this is what it could be like.

Lars von Trier? Yeah. Yeah. Now, then you have a fam. Go ahead. Well, I'm going to ask a dumb question. Surprise. When you, I'm not sure about going to Sweden to Norway.

Okay. Why? Because of the light. I can't wait for this. I feel like a get very sad because if I'm there, during the time of the year when the sun only comes up for a couple of hours.

I'm going to feel like a new player. They call it winter. Is it winter? I can't. I'm sure I can do it. No, it's very, we were there in the summer, so we had a beautiful Swedish summer. Almost worse, right?

Because the sun never goes down. It did. It's weird. I went one time early July and I flew from here and I landed there that had crazy jet lag and then woke up at 4 a.m. A phone call came through

and I step outside and it's blaring sun and it's like 5 to 4 a.m. And it felt like it was noon and I was like, what the fuck? Where am I? It was so discombobulating. I feel bad.

I mean, because of that, Kirsten, because you have a family now and Jesse works and it's this very artistic, you know, you're just around it all the time and the schedules, do you still enjoy going to another country

for three, four, five, six months, whatever it is, to work. I mean, those experiences, do they still fill you up? Well, I didn't enjoy Budapest. Let's just put it that way. I really did not. Well, our son, we all went as a family. We enrolled them in the international school there.

Yeah. And then my son had appendicitis and emergency surgery and then recovered for a week and then had a blockage. So basically my time in Budapest was, horrible. It was horrible. God, that's so young to have an appendicitis. Usually it takes years to fill that thing up. I don't know. I was

like, everyone's like, drink the water there, so I was like, yeah, the water's great. So now I'm freaking out, like, was it the water? I don't know. Wait, what movie was that on? That was on the airplane movie. Oh, oh, oh, no shit. No shit. Oh, wow. So this first part, I mean, everyone's had a shit year, it seems like.

But like, the first part of the first part of our year was pretty so but but to sean's question like do you um are you a are you a big nester like what like now that you're back home do you love just like not going anywhere yeah i don't go anywhere yeah i say in my radius of school drop-off and neighborhood restaurants i don't i don't lose the valley it's nice isn't you go in there to that bob's big boy you get in there oh i love that place i like the car nights but i never want to eat there bob's big boy oh i love it i love it Sean cool it man Yeah, okay, it's not going anywhere.

We're not going to be done with this for another 20 minutes. I was in London just yesterday, actually. What's today, Tuesday? Yeah, and I just finished, did my last show. I did a play there, Kirsten, and it was... Finally, a final good night. A final good night for us, man. And every Sunday, we would go to five guys, right?

The burger place. Yeah, yeah. And so Will FaceTime me and Scotty on our walk to five guys. And he goes, where are you going? I go, he goes, you're on your way to five guys to get a burger. I go, yeah. He goes, by the look of you both, you're going to walk out of there. You're going to walk out of there looking like 10 guys or something.

More like 10 guys, am I right? Am I right? Is this thing? It's so stupid. But I love the, I love those old burger joints like Bob's Big Boy and stuff. And there's a lot of them in the valley, like old, like pizza places in the valley that are really great. I'm going to say something controversial. There's Kelly Gons, too.

Have you been to Chili Johns? That place is a real relic. It's on... Right across the street from it? Riverside and Coldwater. Is that the place? No, Chili Johns is on... Is it Magnolia or a Burbank?

I think it's Burbank. And it's very cool, old school. Have you guys done Apple Pan? You must have done Apple. Yes, of course. But that's over the hill. Yeah, Apple Pan's the best. That's over on Pico.

I'm going to say something controversial. There are burger places that everybody talks about that are only... That I just think are really overrated. Like? Like? Well, I don't want to name it. In an...

In and out? I want to raise people's boats, but I'm not going to name people, things that I don't like my name. That's super, super courageous. Well, I will, you know, I will say our friend on Sunday makes a burger very much on par with In and Out. Oh, my God.

It is. I would say better. Yeah. I would say better. I could be with you. I would say better. Wow. It's really delicious.

If you could, let's go around the horn here. If you could have only one. classic junk food as your final meal. Would it be like a burger? Would it be pizza? Would it be grilled cheese? That's a great question. I will go first. I think it's going to be

pizza and I'm going to have a side of well-done fries. Okay. Oh yeah. I would do. Yeah, you go. No, you go, Sean. I was spaghetti. Okay. Really? But that's not junk food. It's so Sean Hayes. You know, this guy, can I have some ice cream? Yeah, what flavor? Vanilla.

That's it. That's his goat. He loves it so much. Well, you know why. Mother's milk. It's mother's milk. Kirsten, what would you have? What would you be your ultimate junk food?

Well, junk food. Like comfort food. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I honestly, I might do in and out. Yeah. Cheeseburger. I love it. Just a single?

Well, cheeseburger, extra spread, no onions is my vibe. So not the double double. No. Extra spread, though. I like your chocolate. style. You're not doing the spread on the side. You want them to slather it right on. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to eat it quick for the bun get soggy. Yeah, that's why I turn the air conditioning off when I get takeout for home. I'm like, AC off. It better be rolled up in the bag real tight. I hate when people come home with an open box of in and out. I do too. What's the point? Take it back. Take it back because you want to keep your burger hot? Yes. God, I love you. That is an extra level. That is really interesting. I'm with you on that. Wait, can I go back to work for a second? No, wait, Arnette hasn't declared. Oh, yeah, sorry. I'd go pizza, too.

I'd go pizza and chocolate shake. And what kind of pizza is it? It would probably be just a, more than likely, just a cheese pizza. Yeah. Maybe with some meat on it, a sausage. So some nice meat. I was some sausage and some onions. Is that a crispy or is that kind of a soft?

No, it's got to have a sort of a crispy undercarriage, as they say. Black barred. Not necessarily, not necessarily. black bottom, but I just got to have some crispy to do it. And I, when I see people eat pizza and put the crust to the side and they don't eat the crust, I'm like, are you, are you a communist? What do you doing? In college, I used to eat the pizza and then save the crust and dip it in peanut butter after.

Ew. God, you shit, pig. Peanut butter? Yeah, like, because it was just bread. I mean, I mean this with all, with all respect. You fat fuck. Wait, I want to ask more work stuff. It's Kirsten Dants.

I know, I know, me too. I want to ask, I want to ask me. I want to know, do you have any kind of routine things that you do before a shoot, after shoot, during a shoot, or something that you're consistent about that, like, you know, I'm about to start a job, so this is how this is going to go. I'm going to make sure I do blank, blank, blank. Like practicing your faces or...

In the mirror. Yeah. Anything I do. Are you big on research? You big on, like, getting and studying your kids? character and figuring out what they have in their pockets and all that actor stuff. They have a secret. My characters have a secret.

I, what do I do? I do dream work. That's my main thing I do. Oh, yeah, I like that. What's that? What is dream work? I just said the first time. You did?

Yeah. Yeah. Is that the company that was started by David Geffen? Yeah, dream work. Wait, Kirsten, what is true? I don't know what dream work is. So there's a couple acting coaches you could call. them but they're more than that but my lady is someone who's done it her mom did it too and

you basically ask your self questions and write yourself a note at night of what you want to find out about your character and then whatever you dream you write it down and you discuss it with her and implement it into oh that's cool the script that's really cool but but regardless of whether the dream had anything to do with the question or your character It's just whatever your dream scenario was, you kind of incorporated into your character's backstory. Well, you're writing yourself a specific note at night. So you're asking your unconscious to give you something that you can implement.

Yeah. Gotcha. That's cool. And then when you're done with the movie, you write yourself a note, I'm done with this character, blah, blah, blah, and sign out. There's your routine. There's your thing that you do. Yeah.

That's pretty rad. That is pretty cool. be right back. And now back to the show. Are you good at remembering lines? I'm getting worse. Yeah. I'm so bad.

It's coming for all of us. Really? I'm getting so bad that if I read a script and the person talks a lot, I'm like, I don't know if I can do this. So if somebody brought you a one-woman show on Broadway? Oh, hell no. Hell no.

No, no. Our buddy John Krasinski just did one. He knocked me out. My God, is that awesome? Just fucking unreal. It looks like the, and Billy Krodoop's done it a bunch of times. Yeah, there are both men.

See, women multitask. No, Laura Linney's done it a few times. She's nailed it. You can do it. I don't know. It's weird to me. I don't like the idea of doing a play. It's a lot of work.

Let's be honest. It's a lot of work, right, Sean? I mean, Sean just came off basically two and a half years of doing this play. That sounds so. tiring to me. I did it over 200 times. Are you okay? You got a Tony out of it.

Got a Tony. Yeah. I mean, at least you got the Tony. I mean, I know what you mean, Kirsten. It is, you know, finance. You don't do it for the financial because theater doesn't pay, but you do it because of a thing inside as an actor that you just wouldn't otherwise get the opportunity maybe or you get that character that you've always wanted to play out of you.

So you're like, great, I did that. And now it's done. and now I can go do maybe another character. Do you ever think about the audience judging you, though? Like, oh, that person's just coming to see the girl from Spider-Man. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like a little weird. The girl from Spider-Man, that's the name of the play.

I just, I don't know. It's just, maybe when I'm older, I'll like it. Listen, one of the only live things I did was Saturday Night Live ones, and I had the best time of my life. But I grew up watching that show, like literally one of the best times of my life. How was that experience? I had one of the best sides of my lot. No, but I mean, like, specifically, like, what was the, yeah.

Well, I grew up watching the show, as do my kids now, they'll call out people and be like, you know, will you put on the Bill Hader puppet sketch for me, you know? Like, I show them Chris Farley with the Colombian coffee, you know, the decaf Colombian coffee freaking. Wait, I got to see that. It's one of the funniest sketches ever. We used to call our youngest, well, he's baby Chris Farley. But I don't know where I'm going with this. You were talking about the specifics of what you loved about the week on SNL.

So I was, when I was younger, I played Data Carvey's grandchild when he was George Bush on the couch, like eating popcorn as an extra. And I was with Victoria. Jackson. Yeah, thank you. In one of her spoof commercials, too. So it's like such a legacy thing for my family. Yeah, it felt. Did they show that clip when you hosted?

Yeah, they did. No way. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. And it's in the, when you walk, like in the main hallway, when you get there, little me is in with Dana Carvey on the couch. That's cute. It was one of the, yeah, it was so, I loved it so much. I loved it.

That's great. So, yes. What do you do when you're not working on films and stuff and momming? You know, do you, what do you love to do? What do you feel your time with? You're just like nothing, shopping, walking around Toluca. I honestly the other day I dropped them off I went to Pilates I did that and then I just watch TV I want to lay in bed and watch TV that's all I don't want to make a I don't want to make a

generalization here a sexist but you're gonna but you're gonna but I'm gonna you know I'm gonna here this would be a good bailout somebody told me the other day they noticed that I'll just talk about my own house. Amanda watches all of her TV in bed. I watch all of my TV on the couch. Yeah, and I find that that is not uncommon. I said that pretty

well, didn't I? You did a really good job. Why do you think that is an uncommon thing? As it relates to gender, you mean? Okay, Sean said it. No, I didn't know what you were. Or is it... Or just peep or just peep or just like peep something. people like to watch I've tried to watch TV in bed

and I feel like I'm getting like bed sores like I need to be able to shift around a lot I always think the bed is for sleeping and so that if I start watching something in bed then it's going to mess with my sleep and it'll knock you out unless the TV's on

he cannot fall asleep unless the TV's on Scottie can't yeah I don't know I'm going to be right with you hold on yeah yeah do you do you fall asleep with the TV

do you fall asleep with the TV on Kirsten no no you got a TV in the bedroom though Hell yeah. Yeah, hell yeah. Some people don't. We got one. Does Jesse watch it?

Yeah. To go to sleep? No, not to go to sleep, just to enjoy. But what about, will you, because Amanda and I often fall asleep where she's watching her iPad and then I'm watching the TV. But she's got to have the fucking headphones on. I want a photo of that. So that she can hear her iPad and not hear what I'm listening to on the TV. But it really only lasts about 10 minutes.

But that's on the couch. She's down in your room with you and she's on the couch. No, no, this is when I eventually go upstairs and I get in bed. And you turn the TV? When you're in bed. Yeah, she's got the iPad already going. I've got to bring her headphones. She puts those on, and then I turn on the TV and let it rock me out.

You guys should try something called talking to each other. Huh? Well, what are you? Relating, Jason. Let me come over and help your marriage. Just give me 10 minutes to help your marriage. Kirsten, is there somebody that you dreamed of working with that you haven't with? Because it seems like you've worked with all the great, like great, great people.

I mean, the one is Paul Thomas Anderson. I feel like that's everywhere. I hear that new movie is going to be the thing. Yeah, it looks sick. But he did recommend me for melancholia. So that was cool. Oh, we did. Oh, that's cool. Well, Jesse could put in a good word for you.

He's working them at least once. I mean, I have his phone number. He randomly emails me sometimes, so I have those saved. Just starts sending him just random headshots of you from over the years. He did. He called me once, and he was like, I need to talk to you about something. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, this is going to happen.

And then we played phone tag forever. And then we finally got in touch. And he was like, asked me about what it was like working with this other actor. Oh. Because he's thinking about giving them a job. I was like, you know how mean that was of you? Yeah. That was not cool to do that.

I can't imagine the pressure. He must feel so much pressure like every actor that he ever talks to. Yeah. They're just hitting on him. Is this my moment? Yeah. Yeah. What can I do to make a good impression on him?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. I know. Well, it'll come. Listen, it'll happen, too. You can manifest anything. I mean, of course it's going to happen. Is that right? Will, what is the universe say about? By the way, it's true. Oh, you don't need to raise your eyebrows up. You're talking about manifest? You want to fucking fight me on this? Give me your pitch on manifestation. Put it out there. Put it out there. You're saying, ask the universe for what you want and it's going to happen? Yeah, you know what I always say? Why not me? Why not me?

Well, why do you just let them? You know? I could love them, too. Mal Robbins. And we'll be right back. Yeah. We've been doing this lately where we try to go to commercial. Just like, and we'll be right back. Wait, how did you, did you imagine, how did you and Jesse meet? We met on Fargo, season two.

Oh. Yep. And we, it's so funny, I remember seeing him at the airport, like us meeting at L.A.X. For the first time, so clearly. We just were. He doesn't remember it that way? You said that it's almost like he doesn't remember. No, no, I just like, you don't often remember meeting the first meeting with someone.

You could picture it in your brain really clearly. Yeah. Well, but can you say why you remember it so clearly? I don't know why. It's like one of those things that like, while I remember that moment, even though I didn't know this was my future husband, you know. When did the flirt start? Can you tell us?

Uh, the flirt. Like, I think we were so, like, soulmate. a mesh kind of in our characters, too. But also the way we worked, and I just felt like I didn't want to not be near him, is what I thought. I love that. Yeah, even at lunchtime, like, I'd be like, what are you doing for lunch, you know? Whatever, let's make a sandwich at Crafty because, whatever. Who asked who first whether they were involved in a relationship?

We both kind of knew, oh, we were both in relationships. Right, so then it was respectful all the way through. Yeah, totally respectful. And then we just kept in touch. And then both were out of our relationships. We didn't get together till a year after. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. South by Southwest was our first hang out. Uh-huh. Copy that. Hot Austin Summer Nights. Back to one. You know. Uh-huh.

Still rolling. That's fair. We'd be remiss if we didn't talk a little bit about Roofman. So, J.B., you saw this movie, it's amazing. I saw this movie, I give it a huge, huge thumbs up. Huge thumbs up. Directed by the great Derek Sanfrance, right? And co-starring Channing Tatum.

Yep. It's a based on a true story about a dude who lives inside of Toys R Us for a couple months? Yes, he does. He basically raw up like 45 McDonald's through the roof. That's why they call him The Roof Man. Yeah, this is all true. Really? Yeah, and he hid out in a Toys R Us for six months.

Yeah. It's like, and it's, you know, like, you know me, I'm a dark idiot. And so I keep waiting for this film to get, like, kind of scary and bleak and dark and crime. But it's so, this film has such a great spirit and warmth about it, even though it's centralized around a character. that's you know breaking the law left and right and it's not like an overtly sort of robin hood thing where they kind of earn it all but it kind of is but there's just such great like there's like a tone throughout it that that derrick see and francis just like pulls through it that is just like

such a high wire act that's so cool and kirsten you and channing do such a great job of maintaining that too it's like i don't know i think it's just one of the hardest things in the world to keep something winning and watchable all the way through. Yeah, and not be like sappy or corny or feel manipulative. Yeah, yeah. It never gets earnest, although it's a very warm movie. It's, I don't know, it's very hard to describe, but I highly recommend it. It's really, yeah, and Kirsten, I love that.

I can't wait to see it. Do you find yourself as long as you've worked kind of integrating yourself towards whether you get credit for it or not, a producerial kind of role? when you choose your acting gigs, meaning I like this part, I want to meet with the director or whatever it is, but I have these things to say about how to improve my role in it so that it works for me or whatever the thing is.

I mean, I did that on a TV show, but I feel like it's both those movies that I did, Roof Man and the plane movie were so developed that it's not really, you know. Yeah, you're just like great, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would have done anything with Derek. Right. So this isn't a part personally that I would naturally maybe gravitate towards, but I wanted to, again, work with him for the experience.

Like, I just, yeah, that's... Was it everything you hoped it would be working with him? Yes, yes, yes. How about that? Yeah. That's so cool when that happens. I want to work with him again. Yeah, here he's a great guy.

I've never met him. And Channing is just, like, the greatest ever. I love him. Right? He is such a good dude. Yes, he's one of the real ones, yeah. So, I mean, honestly, and obviously Derek is such a great filmmaker, and his movies are kind of little movies.

And when I say that, I don't mean in terms of, just in terms of like the, compared to some of these huge movies that get made these days that are all, like, based on IP and whatever, he has these really great little story-driven movies that he makes with great characters. Do you, and you've done all of, as we mentioned before. Yeah, it's amazing. You've got great stance and both, yeah.

Yeah. Now when you look to do stuff, so as you sit here and you're at home and Jesse's off working and you're thinking, okay, I'm going to do my next thing. Do you have a plan? Do you go like, I want to kind of hit this note next or do you just kind of wait?

I kind of wait, but also I'd like to do something fun. Like, I just want to have fun. And I, yeah, I want to do like a comedy or do something big and fun. And why, and, you know, like, that's the thing we talk about in the show sometimes. Like, where are those movies? Why do they not make those big fun studio ensemble comedies anymore?

I think they will soon. I think they have to. Yeah, because the world around us is too dark. Yeah. It sure is. I think people just have to... I think people are going to want to crave or going to start craving that. I don't know when, but I think...

I know I want to direct a comedy next. I think it, you know, sometimes... Who is I talking about this? Like this idea that when we're in times that are dark, people don't have as much of an appetite for these big sort of... of actiony fun pithy movies because they because it's not where they're at and and uh it's often a reflection of like if everything sort of feels calm in in in our culture then we can just kind of go and do these big goofy things and when it's not calm it's hard for people to let go it's weird

because you'd think that they'd want to have the escapism but they actually don't yeah like scary movies are actually doing really well there you go weapons oh my god that movie's good yeah you love that weapons i do you love that weapons i know Have you seen that, Kirsten Weapons? I haven't seen it yet, no. Do you watch movies? Go to Jason's house, he's showing it about every two hours. Do you watch movies, though, at home?

Do you like movies? By yourself or with your kids or whatever? I like going to the movie theater. Yeah, and I'll take them to the movie theater. Yeah, I'd rather do. If I watch a movie at home, I fall asleep. Yeah, have your kids seen all the classics like E.T. Star Wars, all those things. You know, they're four and.

Seven seven, yeah, it's not like, but you know what, my little guy. Well, I was seven when Star Wars came out. Hey, Sean, she hasn't shown them Star Wars. Don't be it, man. Fuck. Okay, go ahead, sorry. No, I, my four-year-old likes venom, the first venom, which I probably shouldn't have shown him. That's so weird.

That's so weird, so is my little guy. Oh, my God. My five-year-old likes venom, too. Really? I mean, we're probably not good parents for showing them, but whatever. I saw the exorcist. I was like eight or nine. Yeah, I thought it's that young, too.

I should not be seeing that movie. Also, my child was begging me, my four-year-old, to watch Jaws. I was like, okay, Jesse and I showed him the first ten minutes and tried to explain that the girl is being pulled around on a rope. Yeah, and she's getting eaten alive in the shark. No, he went.

He went. He still went, yeah. But I had to talk about it down. Yeah. Well, listen, Kirsten, we take it away so much of your time. Yeah. This is, we're, you're such a delight.

I mean, I could talk to you guys for a while. I know, we can. No, zero pressure vibes. I'm coming over. I'm coming over later this afternoon. Come out of coffee with me. You know, sometimes those interviews, they feel like they were,

that they're like 10 minutes long. This is not very easy, breezy. I know. Jason and they are coming to, we're going to stop by the house and we'll drop off some in and out for you on our way. Thanks, guys.

It's going to be hot as shit, too. You know how to make a girl happy. Yeah. All right, so, So, Roof Man is out October 10th. We're really excited about it. October 10th. Also with the, as you called it, the airplane movie.

I forget what it's called. You're going to come back for that. I want you back. Yeah, entertainment system is down. I want to see that. Yeah. So many amazing things. You've done so many great roles. You continue to do it.

You're such as a light. So happy to have you here. Yeah. One incredible career. A great person and a great mom and a great wife. And like, you're just doing it all. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys.

KD. Thank you for joining us, KD. Thank you for having me. It's really nice to meet you, Thank you, Sean. You do. Bye, guys. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

I mean, that was real special. That was a lot of fun. Listener, you didn't see the bonus moment there with the two young boys, and she finally opened up the door and let them in. And they came in and said hi and Will did his Lego Batman voice,

and it blew their minds. It was fun, really cute, really fun. I love that. So cute. Yeah. So cute. So, so cute. What a nice lady.

You guys are cute. You guys are cute. There's a really cute. There are a couple cutie pies out there. Great career. She's not even halfway done. I know. Oh, my God.

She's just getting warmed up. Yep. She's just getting warmed up. She's so, I'm so excited for Roof, man. J.B., you've already seen it, but I can't wait to see it. It's going to be so good. Yeah, I want to see it. And then the entertainment system is up.

I know, I know. Entertainment system is down. Because what would we do? She's always good. She's one of those people. Always good. Always good. Everything she does.

Sean, you get that all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and J.B.? No, no, man, you know. No, no, no, no. 50, 50, 50, yeah. Sometimes you're on, and sometimes you're on stand by.

Bye! Bye, oh, that's so fast, bye, buddy. Smartless. Smart. Yes. Smartless is 100% organic, and artisanly handcraft. by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbico.