SmartLess - "Kristen Wiig"

Episode Date: May 30, 2022

Go fig… it’s Kristen Wiig! Born in the Amazon basin, and having never used electricity prior to the age of 18 (when she began her journey as a world-class ballet dancer), Kristen turns things on, and leaves them on (to power her laptop for this humble podcast, of course). Welcome to SmartWiig; now go fill your pool with Skittles.Listen ad free with Wondery+. Join Wondery+ for exclusives, binges, early access, and ad free listening. Available in the Wondery App: https://wondery.app.link/smartless.Please support us by supporting our sponsors!FanDuel - Join today with promo code SMARTLESS at https://www.fanduel.com/21+ in select states. First online real money wager of at least $5. $10 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non-withdrawable free bets that expire 14 days after receipt. See full terms at fanduel.com/sportsbook. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit FanDuel.com/RG (CO, IA, MI, NJ, PA, IL, VA), 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text NEXTSTEP to 53342 (AZ), 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-9-WITH-IT (IN), 1-877-770-STOP (LA), 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY), TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or visit www.1800gambler.net (WV).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Will. Good morning. I'm very excited for today's episode. Good morning, Jason. It is great to be here with you. Oh, no. Hey, Will 2.0, where's Mr. Arnett? It's me, your friend Will, for many years, and I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best. I want you to speak to your master about trying to make your voice a little bit more realistic, because it would be helpful. Like, when he's late, like I guess today, we could actually use you on the podcast, but you sound a little mechanical. This is me, Will. I'm here to just... Jason!

What happened? I was stuck inside the virtual me, and I just... Did you sleep with your window open last night? Let's get down. Can we just start the old news smart list? Let's do it. Welcome to Smart List. Who are you playing with today? Don't worry about it. Hey, Sean.

Hey, guys. What's going on? I'm playing with some real respectable folks. Who? That's why your inbox is empty. Who are you playing with today? That's not me. Their names? You want their names? You don't know these guys. Well, we can bleep them out. Yeah, go ahead. First name James, first name Nick, and then guest of James.

Who's James? Who? You don't need to worry about... Who shall I be directing my anger? I don't think you've played with him, but he did invite me. Otherwise, I would have invited you. Oh, okay. But let's play next week, please. Sean, you want to come play some golf with us next week? Oh, sure.

You want to dork out with us out there? You got to wear one of these funny shirts. Yeah. Yeah. I just came from the range. No, did you really? Yeah, I dropped off Abel, and then I just went in and got a quick hour of work. Just working. Does Archie... What? Did you drop off Archie?

Is he homeschooled now? Yes, I dropped him off first at the bus, and then Abel's last. That's right there. Does Archie ever get pissed off that Abel gets a door-to-door, and Archie gets dropped at the RTD station? He does not. What's RTD? Rapid Transit District. Isn't it? RTD? Boy, that fell apart quick.

Yeah, well, guess what? Who here has ridden a public bus? I used to do it all the time. What are you talking about? Me? I don't need the face, Will. Just answer it. I used to write it a lot going to work. You know that story. Oh, man. You know, the medal ceremony is coming up, so we'll have to jot that down. Who's ridden the bus lately? By the way, for Jason, a bus is a Challenger 300. Anything below that he considers a bus.

An air bus. Hey, have you guys ever ridden a subway here in Los Angeles, California? Never. I will not do it. Have you? I have. It freaks me out too much. I'm a big subway guy, but not here. Why? Because of the earthquakes? Yes.

I don't know. And also, it doesn't really go to areas like, it goes from Hollywood to downtown. Wait, do they make a bigger drink than that? Or was that it? That's the max? It's the Trente. Wait, why did you take a subway, Jay? I'm glad you asked. It was the best way for me to get to the start of the Los Angeles Marathon. Sean. When was that?

Well, that sounds a lot of, you're a fat bastard now. This was, this was like 10 years ago. Oh yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I don't need to take it because earthquakes happen underground and the subway is underground, so I don't need to go near that. Right. How much J-Fing did you have on the marathon? Yeah, I'm glad you asked that too. You know what they have there in the, if you run the

marathon, any marathon, I think, you will get some hot spots. Yeah. So they have... You can just swipe some goo. Go ahead. Just jump ahead in the story. Fuck. So they've got the... Well, take it longer.

I mean, what the... Well, I'm setting it up. It's pretty good. You know what they have there. You know what they have there. Just get to the facts. I'm not Canadian. I'm not Canadian. You know what they have there. They don't sound like Eli.

So they've got tables. They got tables. They got tables of water, tables of Gatorade, and they've got a cardboard wall that a person holds up with a big patty of Vaseline on it. And this patty is like the size of a, I don't know, a large cake. And as you go by it, you're supposed to, yeah, as you said, we'll swipe with two fingers, the goo, and then start hitting your hotspots without ever breaking a stride. And you know where these hotspots are. And so if you come to the second Vaseline cake or third or fourth or fifth, you know those two fingers have already traveled, you know, at the last one.

So it's just, it becomes progressively more disgusting, but you have to balance that against the pain. I mean, obviously insert joke here, Sean Mecanos and swiping Vaseline. And I don't want to give you the... I mean, I was like... I'm just going to give you the bare bones of it. You know what I mean? I think there it's just buckets of olive oil, right?

Well, have you ever ran a marathon? No. I've done a half marathon. That was rhetorical, Will. Sean, you? No. Again. I can't even...

Not really. Yeah, you did do a half marathon, Willie? Yeah, I did. Yeah. My brother does that shit all the time. And he'll go... Sure he does. I've seen him in clothes.

Yeah. He'll do a lot of like, you know, he'll be out for dinner and drinks. And he'll be like, I'll be like, I'm tired. He's like, me too. He's like, I did a half marathon this morning. This morning? What are you talking about? Yeah.

I've been running those. I'll tell you what, running is decent. But if you think you're in shape, try swimming. Swimming is a real test. I can't swim at all. One time I was at this like public pool with a friend of mine when I was a kid. Keep it clean. Keep it clean.

And I was in a deep end and he left me. You're in the deep end. Wait, what's under me? This feels like a fish. Sorry. Sean, Sean, yeah, I know you can't swim, you know? Cause just recently he, he emptied his pool and filled it with Skittles. No.

Yeah. He's like, fuck it. I love, I hate swimming and I love Skittles. Wait, you know, it's so funny. I just had this image of that. And I thought that's not a bad idea. It's not. It does seem really satisfying.

The slidiness of it. Just jump in and swimming with your mouth open. Sure, sure. I got to say, yeah, that I could see you doing that. And also not blaming you and being like, you know what? It makes sense. I did panic once when I was with that with my friend. When I was a kid, Tim and, and he left me and it was like, it was a lake.

It wasn't a pool. It was a lake. And there was like this, this little floating dock that a lot of people could sit on. And so we swam out. But I didn't have enough breath or energy or, you know, whatever to swim back strength. Well, cause one of your hands was holding a cheeseburger. So it's hard to swim with one. And you were like, Tim, Tim, don't get my burger wet.

You're getting the bun wet. I mean, one time I was at Sean's house a years ago, which I remember when I was staying there up in your little, in your garage, above your garage. And I went to the pool. You stayed at my house too. What's the matter with? Get a place.

Get a place. Get a place. And it was, those were early days, you know, when it was fun. That's when we used to all, nobody had kids. And I could just, Sean was like, come stay. I was like, great. How's a month sound? Yeah.

And it was. And I would go in and use the pool. And Sean, I remember you being like, nobody, you're the only person who's using this pool. Yeah. Ricky, Ricky jumps in there to wash his, his code every once in a while. Right. Yeah.

For sure. Scott is like, Hey, let me introduce you to outside, Sean. Look at this pool. And I was like, I never go in it ever. Wait, does Ricky go in the pool or no? No, I want to try to get him to go in, but then, then, then he'd track all the water in the house. And I just don't want to.

What is he? A retriever? Or is it golden doodle? He's a golden retriever slash. Once he gets in, he'll never. I know. That's why they're great swimmers. Yeah.

All right. I'm hearing your inhale. All right. It doesn't sound like you're in a super patient mood. And that's unfortunate because I don't know. I like to, you mean, you mean Sean. No, no, no, you, I heard your deep breath. I got nowhere to be as you know.

I wouldn't play golf today, but I wasn't invited. Go ahead. Well, um, total respect to our next guest. I know she would agree. There's a bit of a roll the dice for starters. English is not her first language or her second actually. So ask your questions clearly and simply. I'm obviously speaking to myself here.

Uh, this woman, it's fascinating. I'm telling you it's worth it. She's born in Brazil specifically in the Amazon basin. Uh, incredibly, she did not have her first experience with electricity until she left the country on her 18th birthday. No way. Yeah. She attended SMU in Dallas, Texas while living with her host family.

And she became one of the first foreign born Dallas cowboy cheerleaders. She later found herself in New York city at Juilliard. No less, uh, parlaying her, uh, sideline dancing skills into an impressive string of featured parts in their world famous ballet program. She has since returned to the lush canopy of her birthplace to help bring music and dance and ideas for renewable energy to this underdeveloped and often misunderstood.

Troy Aitman. Here to share her remarkable life thus far, uh, is the very shy, very nervous special guest with one of the most unique names you're ever going to hear. Welcome, Kristen, middle name, I'm not wearing, uh, last name, Wig. What? Yeah. So welcome.

Welcome. Look at this. Yeah. Did you guys have any idea about her history? How did you know that? How did I don't talk about it? We do a lot of research, so. Oh, I mean, I was literally, I was listening just like.

What? Wig, I'm sorry. I guess Jason has now gone on a morning gummy now too. Yeah. It's still pretty high off last night, um, but, uh. What the hell? Kristen, what's the first thing you did when you discovered electricity? Yeah.

Yeah. Uh, it just turned it on and off. Yeah. There she is. I just turned things on, left them on. That was talking about her. You guys, oh, I don't know what to say. Hi, guys.

Hi. Hi. It's so good to see you. I'm so happy to see you guys, and I love your podcast, and I listen to it all the time. Thank you. What are your earrings? What are those earrings?

I don't know what to see because I didn't know. Super hard for the listener. I forgot I was wearing these, but they're just these little pink little, I don't know, little up side down. Magnets? They look like. They're magnets. Yeah.

She's always wearing magnets. They look like prescription bottles or something. Yes. They're stuck to each other. Yes, they are. Um, well, welcome, welcome, welcome. Hi. Where do we find you today?

Are we on the east? I'm in Los Angeles. Los Angeles. I'm in the, I'm on the west coast. Is that full time for you or do you still have a place in New York? No, I don't have a place in New York. Do you wish you still had a place in New York? Yeah, I do.

I do. You miss it? I do. I miss it. Yeah. What part? What parts? The city?

What part do I miss? I just miss the, it's just such a different life. Your days are so different. Everything's different from. Right. You know. You're meeting people in various industries, not just one. Yeah.

You're hanging out with doctors. I hung out with so many doctors. I remember when you were in SNL, Wig's dressing room was always filled with doctors. Filled with doctors and I would make them wear their scrubs because I was like, I want people to know. Oh my gosh. Free exams. Free exams only.

You did not, you did not, well after, so after you left the Amazon, after doubt, where did you spend most of your time growing up? Well, I lived in Lancaster, Pennsylvania when I was a very young girl. And then I, and then Rochester, New York. Yeah. No, but what's the name of the place? Oh, here it is. Hang on.

I got it here on my wiki page. Oh, where I was born. Canon, Canon Daiglega? Canon Daiglega. That's where I was born. Where's that? That's upstate, that's upstate New York. Yes.

It's a finger leg. Finger leg. Yeah. It's a finger leg. Yes. Well, I knew you would know that. Yes. Yeah.

Is that where they make finger sandwiches? Yes. And just fingers. That's where all the prosthetic fingers are made. Wow. That's what my doctor friends told me. Major industry. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Rochester, New York home of Xerox. Yes. And Kodak. And Kodak, yeah. Oh gosh. So then, so then going to the city to work was like, you, you grew up in New York.

So there. It's a long way. Well, it was, it was far. I only, I only went to New York city one time. But I mean, you were there. Like it's not like you grew up on the West coast. And then all of a sudden, you know, started working like it wasn't a culture shock. She did find her way out to Los Angeles, Sean, where she.

No, no. What does it say? I've never looked away. Wikipedia. I've never looked at my page. I got stuff highlighted here. Yeah. Well, we, we, you know, we went into the, the, the groundlings program out there in Los

Angeles where, uh, what did we meet? Annie Momolo out there. Maybe. Yes, we did. We started our friendship with her there. Oh, tell Tracy who Annie is. Uh, Kristen, please. Oh, she is my.

Oh, okay. Good. Cause I was about to. Um, she's my writing partner. Um, good friend. Yes. My creative life. Yeah.

She wrote that you guys wrote bright things together. Yes, we did. And that's true. And also. And other things, the trip, the two gals. Barb and star. Go to Vista. There she is.

Yep. Yep. Very, very funny. Very good. Um, all right. So we're out there in Los Angeles. We're at groundlings and now we've, we've had some of your colleagues on the show and they, uh, it seems like groundlings is a bit of a feeder program for SNL.

Is that fair? Yeah. I mean, a lot of people have come from there. I mean, yeah. Is that where your, uh, SNL audition, uh, kind of came from or was it after you left there? No, I was, I was, I think I had just gotten into the main company when the audition happened. And was that a fairly stress-free, uh, situation or was it? Probably to this day, the most nervous I've ever been in my life.

Cause I don't do stand-up. So being on stage by myself and like, I never knew how to like go from one character to another. I'm like, do I do a spin? Like, I did that by the way. I did that by the way when I auditioned for Mad TV a long time ago. I think I like spun. So you thought that was the reset on characters turn around and now I'm,

I didn't want them to be confused. Oh, look what is now. Hey, can you spin the other way to get the other character back? Cause I need to go back. Do you guys want to go back and see the other one? Yeah. Um, so were they not clear about how to do the audition? Were they?

It was like, you, you, um, you have five minutes. Please don't go over. Um, I bought a stopwatch. Wow. And I, I mean, cause I, I literally thought like the lights were going to go down and I remember being in my hotel in New York and just doing it and being like 503, gotta do it again. Um, but then some people would do it for like 10 minutes and I'd be watching like,

Hey, what? Well, they didn't follow you. Yeah. So you just do a, you do a series of your favorite characters. Um, yeah, they just say do, uh, characters and any impressions you have. I auditioned twice actually. Oh really? I remember like how many years were you in the groundings before you got the audition

for us now? For the main company months, like I, I mean, I was in the school for like a long time. No, no, but I meant like how long were you a part of the groundings? Oh, a long time because some of the levels were like two year wait. Uh-oh. Are you going to yell at Sean? No, Sean's had a few incidents in the last one, one on stage in Chicago a few months ago and whenever where he's just completely doesn't know where he is.

So busy thinking about his next question. He doesn't hear the last answer. I get so excited. I get so excited. I get so excited. Look how excited he is. I know. So a couple of months, only a couple of months on the main.

I'm like, I don't even know if it was, uh, how many, I just know it was my first, uh, main show. I'm really bad with time. I was going to say because I, when I first, when you first did the target lady on that, which is one of my favorite things of all time. Um, I went, I think that was that one of your first sketches when the first season, that first episode that you were on or. It wasn't the first episode.

It was the, it was my first season. And that was a sketch that I did at the groundlings. I could, for some reason when I was watching it on TV, I was like, this looks like one of those brilliant things you see at groundlings. And now it's on SNL. It just looked like an easy transfer of like, Oh, of course this is going to work. I'm starting it live. I just thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Oh, thanks, Sean.

Yeah. And we will be right back. And back to the show. So we'll come back to the SNL stuff, but it clearly, it gave you such a great, well-deserved exposure and lift into what you have been doing, you know, over the last number of years. Um, incredibly. Um, are you, what's your favorite part of this phase? Do you, do you, do you like that it's sort of, you get to go from job to job to job as opposed

to one sort of, you know, place and family and group that you, that you're with all year or Oh, I mean, yeah, they all have their pluses and you can find the great things about the one that you're not in, you know what I mean? Like with SNL, like I, I loved having that schedule and, uh, I mean, not so much the hours, but just having the family, the routine and like just the solving of the puzzles between like dress and air. Like I loved, I love, love that. And it's a part of my brain.

I feel like has atrophied since I've, since I've left. But it's what makes you such a great writer. I'll bet. Yeah. Well, I, I, I definitely feel like improv is writing really, especially when you have a partner that you have so much history with. But now like, yeah, there's more stability and I can, you know, go to the dentist. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. And you can have a personal life. And so that's nice too. So it's, it's kind of like, you know, what you don't have, you miss, but I'm, I'm very happy right now. What's your favorite part about, about, about personal life now? Like what, what do you, do you love doing nothing? Do you love traveling?

Do you love, what, what, what, what, what at home is your favorite? What fills you out? Oh, wow. Nice. No, this is, we're, we're incredible journalists here. What makes you, what makes you tick? What makes you tick? What makes you tick?

What makes you tick? What gets you out of bed in the morning? Tell us about what makes you tick. Well, I have two kids now. I know. So that gets me out of there. So that gets me out of there. That's not anywhere on this.

You know, it's so funny. Yes, but here's the thing. What kind of media is out your main? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You've got two kids? Yes. I didn't know that. This is the thing I was going to say.

I don't, like, I just found that out, like, I don't know, a few weeks ago. Is that on, because you, you're very strategic in the most respectful way about popping up here and popping up here. No, you don't do that. Like you're, it's very cool how you kind of keep that separate. And is that on purpose that you do that? Because I didn't know you had kids either. Well, I have, I have twins.

I have a boy and a girl via surrogate. How old? And they are two and a half. Amazing. That's amazing. It's the best, you know, everyone says it's the best hardest. Oh, but this age. I mean, well, they are getting into, like, you know, the no phase.

Okay. So then would you, it sounds like you would be in agreement with me that a lot of stuff before too is, I'm not going to say it's garbage, but it ain't as good. It ain't as good. I would never say it's garbage, but it's not as good as it is now in comparison to now. It's a different. It's different. Yeah.

I'm going to stand up here and just, Jason always, he just wants somebody to ride shotgun with him in the car. He doesn't want to have to actually fucking do anything. Wait, wait, wait a second. Yes. Jason, first of all, sorry, let me just admonish Bateman. That's part of life you dick. Yeah.

Okay. I know. But we, you have two, two and a half. I didn't know you were married. Yes. Well, it was like a quick COVID zoom marriage. You got married on zoom while you had COVID. No, it's not, not like he was on zoom.

Yeah. We were together. That would be weird. You met him and you've never met in person. And we've never met. No, but he is. No, is he, is he a show busy? He does act.

Yes. And he writes and he's the amazing photographer and he's. Oh, he's got it all. Does he? Hang on a second. We'll decide that. I know there's a lot. Cause if you didn't know, I had kids.

There's, I feel like there's a lot to unpack here. You've been with Mr. Wonderful for how long? Yes. Uh, six and a half years. Wow. So it's sticking. It's sticking well. It's amazing.

Yeah. He's, he's great. And, uh. How is he as a dad? And we won't tell him what you say. He won't listen to this. Um, he, uh, he's, he's incredible. He's amazing.

I'm truly. What do you think your blind spot might be? Me? As a mother. What could you, what could you? Oh, as a mother. Like swaddling. I guess they're out of swaddles now.

Swaddling. Swaddling. I told you he doesn't know anything. I try. I spent a lot of time out of the house. He's been out of the house for a long time. He's shooting or playing golf. I mean, you know, it's so embarrassing.

I realized the other day, somebody asked me what my blind spot is. I said blind spots. Obviously. I mean, like that's smart. You know, that's what that is. It's just the parts you can't see. I guess. Is there, is there stuff that you used to do as a kid that your parents hated that you're

like now seeing your kids do or anything like that? Like you're trying to stop them from like, oh, wait, don't catch from you. Well, I mean, when they get older, I hope they're different because I, I think I gave my parents lots of mini heart attacks. Doing what? Just jumping off the roof. Yeah. Yeah.

I think after my parents got divorced when I was like nine and maybe that's. Way to go guys. Through, through, well, yeah. Nice going. So hold on. Let me just. Yeah. Try it out.

Just shut, shut, shut. Try to keep it together. We're doing a comedy version. I know, right? You can cut the divorce thing if you want this to stay like anyway. Yeah. So you, so you were a little bit of a challenge at nine. I was.

But not terrible. I think through, through high school, I think I got in, you know, trouble a lot and stuff like that. Were there brothers and sisters? I have a brother. Yes. Did you have a problem? No.

Not really. You were the youngest. Yes. I was the youngest and I have had two steps and steps on my mom's side and. This was in Chaco. Chaco. Where was it? Yeah.

Canada. Canada. But I'm going to say I was from Chaco. We have because I think. Now, did anything happen aside from the pain and tragedy of that divorce at nine that, that, that steered you towards comedy. Was it forced at nine? Right when I discovered electricity.

Was there, was there, was there something that steered you towards comedy? Were one of those parents of yours funny or? My dad. Yeah. My dad is very funny. Tell us some of the funny stuff he would do, Kristen. Oh, well, I mean, he's just like in a dad way. He just like, you know, puns and like, it's just a funny, I mean, I always knew he was

like, I would meet people that knew him when he was younger and everyone just always said, oh, your dad, you know, such a funny guy. And I'll bet he was pretty dry. Right. He's very dry. He's very dry. And he introduced me to like, like Abbott and Costello and Martin and Lewis movies and like, we would just watch those old, his 100 and.

He introduced me to Mrs. Abbott. This is just kind of. He introduced me to them as people. Yes. All right. All right. So, so then. Who's on Kristen?

Where's on credit? Where's it? So stupid. Nice to meet you. All right. So then. So then he's very funny. All right.

So then you're out in the ground knees. You get SNL. You're there. You're in that incredible machine there and incredible success. And then you get spit out into this great career. Was there a big transition you had to make to what being on a set was like on, on a movie or on a television show versus what you were really used to on, on SNL? Like, do you mind that sort of slower pace and that kind of vagabond living and, you

know, now that you've got kids and a husband, you know, you, can you, can you travel as much? I don't like to. I mean, it's obviously necessary for certain jobs, but it's so hard. Yeah. So do they all go with you? They have gone with me. I haven't worked that much since they've been born, but I, I do look at my jobs differently.

I'm like, where does it shoot and how long and can they go and will it be fun for them? Because I don't like being away. I know, right? We all need a nice multi-cam sitcom just down the street in Burbank. Just down the street. What if you were like, I can't get a, I can't wait to get away from them? That's just the complete opposite. Are you trying to do a Bateman right now?

I know. I am. Oh, I remember, Kristen, I remember I, when Bridesmaid came out that first weekend, I was in Atlanta shooting the three Stooges. Holds her applause. Holds her applause. I go see Bridesmaids across here by myself and I emailed Kristen right when I got, I was like, oh my God, it was so funny.

It was so funny. She's like, you know, you're like, really? Thank you. Like it was so, nobody knew that it was going to become what it did. And then, but it was so cool to have seen it on opening weekend. I just thought, I thought it was so neat. Oh, thank you. It was such, so, so unsurprising that it was so good and that you were so good.

I mean, you're, I mean, that's one of those movies that's when it's on the, when it's on the guide, you click it every single time, every time. And I'm like, I laughed so hard. Thank you. Well, cause, and Annie always tells the story that we like got a call after opening weekend, just sort of like, Holy shit. Sorry. No.

Oh, really? It was like, yeah. It was like, sorry. Cause it didn't fully open. Oh, really? No. Yeah. And we were like, well, we tried.

No way. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We did not. Was there like a, like a hurricane on the East coast or some garbage like that? No, I think it just, I think it was just maybe word of mouth or something. That people started seeing it later, but in the beginning you just, you know, it is when it, you're just like, what's, it's not really like that now, but it was like, what's that

opening weekend? Did you, did you know Paul Feig before that? Paul Feig is the director. I did because I had like two lines in the movie Unaccompanied Miners, which was my first movie, I think. Was it really? That was your first? Yeah.

I think so. Yes. So on SNL, Kristen, guests, guests on SNL. They run the gamut. Do they not? They do. What would, how would you, how would you describe the great guest and then how would you describe a not so great guest qualities?

Someone who, I mean, it's kind of just the op that someone who really wants to be there because, and sometimes people maybe feel like they have to or, or because they have like press or something for the most part, people want to be there. But I think just the people that are, that are game and like, yes, let's do it. And where do you want me? And, and people that don't come in and try to just like produce everything themselves. Yeah. Are there other personalities that come in and be like, no, this is how I work.

And that's probably counterproductive to how it runs. Yeah. And it's hard to go in and fully, you know, just be like, okay, I, I trust you. Right. And be a guest as opposed to a host, right? But when you're a cast member, a writer, it's just like your job is to take care of the host and like make them look good and, and support them, you know, which I think is good.

When we're hearing hilarious stories, Amy would come back with like, you know, host stories like this person took off their shirt. I know who she's talking about. She came in with their shirt up. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Wait, as a bit or like, not as a bit? Not as a bit.

No, no, no. Just out of comfort. You really do get to know people when they come on the show. Also because you don't get to see actors, musicians, sports, sports people. Yeah. You don't get to see them nervous or out of their comfort zone and to have someone like, is this okay? And you're just like, oh my God, you're a freaking legend.

Are you kidding? I'm a mess. Yeah. It's, but it's, it's so cool because they, they do, you, you see this, this vulnerability, it's like a transformation through, you know, Monday through Saturday, and they're just like, oh my God, like I just had to let go, you know. Did you ever have one of those moments where you go, holy shit, like where you kind of were in yourself and you were just feeling it and you were just for the first time you

kind of go like, I can't believe I'm doing this scene with so and so and then it's going like that. Did you have every show for seven years? Yes. And I think that's like, it's, it truly is like the best. It is like the best job. If you're going to do something like that and you're living in New York and I feel like, and I always said like the moment, because you know how it is there.

It's like a, it's a different culture and you're always, you never know what the show is going to be. You don't quite feel like settled. And I always said like the moment I feel comfortable here is like the moment that I should leave. Yeah. So it was never lost on you, all these cool people that were coming through there and these musicians. Cause every week you'd be like, oh my God.

I mean, well, you know, you would do there and like you'd just be like, wait, you'd come off from a sketch and Lawrence, like the Steven Spielberg is watching the show. I was like, hello. And then you're changing and you're just like, where, what is happening? What it always, what always struck me was on Wednesday, especially on Wednesdays after read through like going and meeting up with you guys or whatever in going for a drink and just how it didn't matter how long you were there. And it didn't matter if, if, you know, where you were in terms of seniority on the show

too, based on how long you'd been doing the show, everybody, there was always that tension of like, fuck that thing. It didn't go great. It's not going to get picked or that thing didn't get picked. And I'm kind of pissed off and I kind of like, I've had it. I didn't have a great show last week. I wish this thing had gone this week. And it always struck me how it just never stops.

It never goes away. No matter who you are. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good, right? It keeps you working hard. You never take anything for granted. Right?

There's like a healthy competition there. Well, I don't, I don't even know if like, we didn't really have like a super competitive group when I was there. But it was really, I mean, baked into it is only the best sketches make it that week. Yeah. And if you're, if that sketch goes, maybe this one won't because maybe you, maybe they're similar or maybe, but it's like, oh, maybe you can do it another time. I don't know.

Like also if something doesn't work, like I don't want to do it on the show. I'd rather not be in stuff. Now, do you see, do you see either one of those two twins of yours going into the, is anyone, either one of them seem funny or prone to the spotlight? If anyone, my daughter, but I, it's probably too early to tell that she's, she does some funny things. Yes. Yeah.

She does some, some bits. And I, I try sometimes with like voices and sometimes they're just like, what, to try to get her going. Yeah. But they don't think I'm funny. All right. Don't you have to like, hey, you guys with kids, don't you have to like apply for like preschool like now?

Like, is it hard to get into schools or something? You have to start now. It's a pain in the ass. Are you starting to sweat that Kristen or that still like a year away looking for preschools and kindergartens and. I mean, they're in, they're in like a little preschool now, which I love. It's amazing. I haven't really thought about it.

Yeah. It's, it starts to get stressful. I know, I guess I should, but like part of me is just like. No, I think fucking is the best way to go and just kind of roll the dice. Yeah. It's such a stress. I just see so many people worried about it. And I don't know.

Are you enjoying any, any, any shows with your kids right now that are particularly, because I used to love watching kids shows with my kids when they were young enough to watch stuff. I was interested. Now they're watching, you know, really, they're watching a lot of stuff. Euphoria. Exactly. I can't, I can't.

Yeah. No joke. My kids love Euphoria. Mostly just for the music though, right? Yeah. Sometimes I just turn off the sound and just let them watch what's happening. Are you, are you watching anything with them that you particularly like or anything with Mr. Wonderful that you, that you really like, like comedy or drama?

Mr. Wonderful is going to love this. What's his name? Avi. His name's Avi. Avi. Is it short for obvious? Avi. Avi.

You guys, this is all free. This is my husband, Avi. And now a word from our sponsor. And now back to the show. Are you not a fan of devices or media for children? Not right now. Not right now. Finger painting and stuff like that?

I mean, I don't want anything to be like, no, you could never because then we'll, you know, like, like with sugar, you hear about people that never give their kids sugar and then they like hide food in their room. Right. Yeah. Not me. But yeah, not yet. We show them like, we just kind of started showing them videos of like trains.

It's just like, it's literally just like different trains. Sure. Good for you. There's no like puppets or anything. It's just like. Isn't it kind of fun though when you have kids that small, isn't it great excuse to do crafts? I love doing crafts. Yes.

Side note, Sean, can I hire you this summer to be a counselor over at my house because I've got, I've got three kids and a step. I like doing crafts and stuff. I love crafts. Me too. It's such a great excuse. Oh God, I'd love to see you do some crafts. Do you have a craft room, Sean?

Do you have like a bunch of glue and shit around? No, but that's like a dream of mine. What a bunch of glue. Can't you tell? Do you? But wait, I am curious. Do you have a guilty pleasure with Avi? Is it any sort of reality shows or?

I love reality shows. He does not. He does not. What are you chewing up right now? I'm a Bravo girl. Oh, you are? Yeah. Oh my God.

You just made their goddamn day. Everybody at Bravo. This clip is going to be played around the office. She's a Bravo girl. You know? They know. All of it. Do they know?

Have you gone on there and done some with Andy? Yes. What's his name? Andy Cohen, yes. He's done Andy's. What about Million Dollar Listing? Andy's a hoot. I do watch that one.

That one seems a little more scripted for me. Yeah, yeah, it is. But that's what I kind of like about it. I like it more. I don't watch that one. Sean, shots fired by Wig. Wait, why are you like a producer? No, no.

I love that you watch those shows. I know. I like the thing I like about Million Dollar Listing is that it's a little scripted. It's like a little awkward. It is. It is. I mean, I watch it. So there's got to be something.

I love that you watch it. What's your favorite group of housewives? Tough, tough shows. I love Potomac. Oh, I've not done Potomac yet. And I love Beverly Hills. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Jersey and Atlanta. Oh, bless. So you're not, you're killing a lot of Jays. Yes, I do. Do you really? Yes. I missed it. What'd you say?

I watched all of it. I think that she really watches them. She says she does. Oh, yeah. I love it. I think it's, it's like, I think when you do what we do sometimes, you cannot get as lost as we used to get when we watched movies and TV. And like, sometimes you're like, oh, did they shoot this at night?

You know, like you can't, you kind of like can't, you know what I mean? And like, for something about reality, I turned my brain off. And I just, You know, it'd be such a great idea for you is to do like a parody movie or TV show like, like that. It'd be such a great idea for you. That would be good. Yeah.

Wait, didn't Stiller did one of those? Any real life, I think? Wasn't that, was that what it was called? Long, long time ago? Or no, he loved real life that Charles Groden did way, way, way back when, I think. Anyway, fascinating story. The story is really gripping. It's out of the solid.

We need stuff to trim. I like to give stuff to trim. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What, what kind of stuff, you've done so many different things. What do you, what now is the thing that will get you to leave home? Yeah. And stop watching America. Yeah.

Like what's going to get you out of the house to go and do? What's the thing that you go like, I really want to do this? Aside from a fire. A fire. Oh, yes. Yeah. Well, I'm about to start shooting something in LA, a show. We're making news right now.

What is it? Yes. It's, it's a show based on the book Mr. and Mrs. American Pie. It takes place in 1969 in Palm Beach about this woman who's a little, it's very like slim air and sort of vibe of the show. This woman who's a little unhinged. She's trying to like get into the high society of Palm Beach. The title's in flux.

So I'm not sure what I can say. Comedy or drama. It's comedy. It's like a dark comedy. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm really excited. It's shooting in LA.

That's so great. Who's, who's doing that with, who's jumping on that with you? Oh, like cast wise. Yeah. Laura Dern. Love. Incredible. Alison Janney.

Amazing. Also incredible. Love her. I'm not sure who else is official. Well, you don't need anybody else. You need us to help close any deals. I mean, we can get on with, we can get on with BA today and close this shit by. Right now.

Alice is tough to close. Alison, is that what it is? Or is Laura being this? No, no, they're done. They're done. Laura is a producer. Hey, call, call Laura up and walk and go, Hey, regarding your deal. How you done?

Nice. That's pretty good. That's so good. Hey, you're Siri, Siri, co-apple business affairs. One second guys. I'm going to fucking close this shit. There's no, there's no shooting in Florida. Well, no, we will.

I think there's a little bit. I think there's a little bit, but it's mostly here. How'd you get them to shoot in Los Angeles? Tracy, to shoot in Los Angeles is very expensive, especially when you consider there's huge tax incentives to shoot in a lot of other states. So how did you just say, listen, I got two kids. I don't want to leave and a husband that is obvi, really great. Yeah, kind of.

Good for you. I just, I needed to be here and they were game. So yeah. Hey, let me ask you this, Chris. Did you, is there anything else you ever wanted to do? Like if you weren't doing this, like any other kind of? There's a lot of things. Tell me, tell me.

I mean, there's, I would love to direct maybe someday. Let's talk about that. Yeah. So I would love to talk to you about that. I, I don't know. Just outside of the business. Oh yeah. I would love to.

I mean, I majored in art and I love to paint and draw and I love writing music and I. What? I've shone over for some crafts. And I love doing crafts. You need to get over to Sean's house and split the day. Half of the arts and crafts and half with the music. There you go. So the directing thing is something that you really want to do because.

I've, I've always wanted to do it. I, it doesn't feel like it's the right time right now because I know it's so time consuming and I wouldn't find like the right thing. But I think later in my life, I would love, I would love to, to do that. Yeah. This thing that you're doing with Apple, it is a limited series or ongoing or a movie. We'll see if they like it. It's supposed to be for a few years.

But you know, we have to see how it goes. But hopefully. Are you writing, are you writing as well? I'm not. No, I'm not. Okay. But you're in a position where you can not co-direct but be talking. You have a seat at the table with the director.

You're, you're, you're the boss. Yeah. Ish. I mean. You never call yourself that. Let us do it. I would never call myself that. Yeah.

Because we have such a good team people. And also Laura is, is a, is a producer as well. Yes. Yes. She, her production company, she's the one that, that brought me the, brought me into it and asked me to do it. So yeah, she's, she's the boss. Well, you three guys are so, have you three guys worked together before or know each other?

Because. Oh, I did work with Laura for a second when I did a, I did a few episodes of last man on earth and she, she did a couple and we were in it together. I would put you three together in a second, just based on knowing the three of you, knowing that that would be, you guys would, you could, you guys could travel together, you know, let alone work together. Yeah. That's a great match.

I'm so excited. Wait. And McGroober's came out, right? The TV series. Yes. Yeah. It's one of the funniest things. We love some Will Forte.

Oh God. I know I listened to Will on your, I listened. He's just, I mean, all you can do is just kind of breathe out when you talk about Will. Yes. And his writing too. I know. I mean. I love watching him work act, just be in the world.

He's just the best. Wig, Wig and Forte and I did that brother song and years. Yeah. You had years of guys. That was like my first like. Yeah. Movie that I had like. We laughed.

Remember how much we laughed doing that? Oh my God. Wig used to do this bit. Wig used to do this bit. It was like, to the music of one of those like toy, do you remember for like little girls like toys? And it was like, my first alcohol. Do you remember that?

Yes. I just remember we would do the dumbest thing. And I don't know if this is going to translate, but Will and I would just be like, oh my God. I'm so thirsty. I just need something to drink. I'm so thirsty. Oh, hold on.

Oh. Like we would just take the tiniest bit or say I'm so starving and we'd get to food and just take the tiniest little bit. A little bustle. And it was the dumbest. We would do it all the time. I loved it like that. It was so stupid.

But Will, you're one of those people whenever I see or whenever I saw it like SNL, like you were just such a funny, like we would just laugh seeing each other and you would just always such a light. I don't get it. I don't see that. I agree. I agree. I agree.

I feel this. By the way, I feel the same way about you. Every time I see you, I just want to play. No. That I, yeah. That I understand. That makes sense. Wig, who makes you laugh in your life rather than your kids and Avi, like day to day like

your friend. Day to day. You call him. You know, Annie. Annie Momolo to me is just one of the funniest people that's ever walked the Earth. Tell me you guys are cooking something up. We are. We are.

We're writing a movie for Disney right now about the evil stepsisters Cinderella. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Oh, wow. We're writing that. This is our first time. We're just like writing something. And then like-

We just made more news guys. This is all this stuff no one knows. I think. No, no. We're breaking news. No, people don't know. Okay, good to our smart listeners. Yes. When are you gonna be done? Is that live-action or is it animated? It's live-action musical, so it's like kind of uncharted territory

I mean, did you see Sean's face when he was looking down and you said musical and he looked up When's that what when do we get to when do we get to enjoy that? Well, I mean worst we were just in like rewrite phase right now, so it's very beginning, but hopefully in the next couple years Is that something that you work on every single day with her like what do you write today or what do you do today today? We probably should We just got notes, you know, it's hard to it's hard to get to the computer sometimes Um, but what do you got? What do you got? What do you got planned today? What how you got it's now 1055 in Los Angeles? Well, my kids will be home from their little school at one o'clock

So I'll just have a nice quiet house until they get home, which is nice. I mean, I love them Sure, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's two hours between. Yeah, I don't really have a two episodes I don't really have a plan. You're not gonna watch housewives between. I don't like to watch during the day I'm not like a TV watcher during the day. So you've got a line over which you will not cross. Yeah I'm gonna plus I need something at night to look forward to you know, like I like putting the kids down and being like Potomac. What are these ladies getting into tonight? This is because it's very real. Hey, well, what are you gonna? Well, what are you gonna do for the next two hours? You know what you're a dick because you know that

What cuz you weren't invited to golf well, I wasn't invited to play golf today. I just got back in town I've been gone for a few months. I just got back Wednesday in this a-hole. I got a good idea Why don't you go back to the range? Okay? Yeah, don't you go back and practice a little bit more? You know what what I am gonna do is I'm gonna go I'm gonna work out I got my boxing gym right here. Oh, that's fight camp right fight camp But I do it in a way like you don't need to go into a Philly I go against the I go against the green and it kind of like low light and then you I play like classical music as I box I don't mean the camera just comes around the corner. It finds me there

I mean Just you got it. You got a top on or top off sleeves on sleeves off. What are you sure? No, sure, but you do wear sleeves. I do wear sleeves, but no shirt. Yeah I must have already gone through this Hey Tracy by the way, Tracy's gonna be here in like two hours. Is that right? Yeah, wait wait wait my sister's coming This is news. Is she's gonna stay with you or are you not gonna put her in the hotel at the neighbor's shed the neighbor's Not even your shit All right, all right Kristen

Kristen it's been lovely Will's taking way too much of your time. We love you. I love you guys This was so fun. We love We love Avi and we love your children. Thank you. So I love your earrings. We love the time you spent with us Yes Thank you. I hope you get it I hope you really savor your next two hours of just mellow and peace at the house. I'm gonna savor it I'm happy. Just get like one of those like international collection of coffee and just sit out in your back Oh, just with a savor cozy cup scarf and the 90 degree weather

All right, big love Your I love your podcast you guys are all amazing and thanks for having me. We love you. You're a mega talent for being here Hey, yeah, you're a mega talent, huh? Yes, slam it I I love her. I love her a lot. Yeah, we didn't talk about I did I did I did two films with her did extract that Mike Judge film and then also Paul About the alien with the side of tag. So you've known her for a while. I have I just real crazy about her Yeah, I don't see her enough, but Amanda chats with her every once in a while. Yeah

Very jealous. She's um, so I mean, she's one of the funniest of all time, but you're right She does keep a very low profile. That is admirable. I would like to see I'd like to see more of her on Screen at least. Yeah, she's made. She's so funny always Wig just always funny and I mean that that like we were saying that every time I see her We just I just want to play. I just want to yeah I know goof around and do a bit and fuck one of those people that was born to do what she's doing Yeah, I'm the best born-to-bit anyway

Sean, what do you have to get done there around the house before the troops show up? I had to Well, you know, there's no pool because my you know talk about a high-class problems But I have a little pool in the back and it's it's being worked on so they're bummed about that So but I said there's an ocean a half hour away with lots of water in it So they might go swim there. Oh because they're working on the pool. Yeah So you're not would you go with them to the ocean? Do you ever go to the ocean? No. No, why do you not like you don't like sand? I don't like I don't like heat. I don't like the cold water

Well, what about if you went with a nice parasol? And you kind of spin it as you're walking a little bit. That's it. You know what stop coming up with such great ideas That is a pair of aqua socks your feet don't burn on the sand and in your spinning parasol You like you don't like the beach. I love it I don't mind it, but I do find it's overrated and that's that's probably because I just grew up out here And it was just like well, okay It's just a line and then a bunch of water. That's right, you know, and it doesn't change until you get to Hawaii But the difference the California beaches, it's a different animal

It's not like because it's always a little bit chillier, etc And it's kind of cloudy the water and the water is water's cold most like very cold most of the year except for like August September you can't really swim in it and then be You know unless you really like cold water, but I I love the beach man. I can't get it. Oh god Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could be good thing about something California There's not a lot of the bigger sharks down in Southern, California, so you don't have to worry about that occasional bye SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanly handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Amjurf SmartLess