SmartLess - "Nick Kroll"

Episode Date: April 27, 2026

Let’s take a run: it’s Nick Kroll. Celebrity scavenger hunts, fuse mechanism protocol, and how to aim for a B-minus across the board. The gum IS as good as it sounds… on an all new ChewLess (otherwise known as SmartLess). Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, good day. Good day. Guess my age? 59. 59? 62. What the hell? No, but be real.

No, really. Actually, what are you? I'm 57. I think you're 50. You've always been a year younger, right? Were you still? Or did you pass me? No, no.

It looks like you, I think you passed me. What? Yeah. Oh, God, this backfired so much. Welcome to Smartless. Hi, guys. Oh, hi. Where we're going?

I'm just finishing up a text here and sending. Okay. Wonderful. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, now I'm back with you. It's not bad you could come today. And, J.B., we're having a little bit of an earlier start today. So I'm imagining your morning, because I know you bake in two hours.

Baseball season is on. So you're active on the trade front. You're managing your various leagues. Well, I've fast-forwarded through the final six innings of last night's game. Right. You tape the games? Every night. Every one of them.

I watch every single. And he watches them at like 5 a.m. Why don't you watch them live? Well, I just don't get them done before I go to sleep. And so I finish them up the next morning. That's it helps me get out of bed. I've got the rest of the game to watch. That's a reason to wake up in the morning.

Okay, so let me ask you a question. Do you fast forward in between each play? Yeah. I wait until at least one runner's on base. Preferably I like to get somebody to get to second base before I go to... I watch Wheel of Fortune the same way. Not I'm kidding. I'll fast forward through the picking of the letters

until they get the puzzle kind of pathway down. Until it's something that you can figure out. Yeah, exactly. Sean, and does anybody ever get one, guess one so early that you just, it surprises you so much that you, like you have a mistake with the canned cheese? Like, does it go all over your hand at that point? Like, oh, shh.

Or do you ever, like, point it to your temple? Like, if you're trying to kill yourself, you know, and you just squeeze it all over the side of your face? Like, what does it call cheese whiz? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. So, J.B., so I know J.B. does a bacon. So he bakes in the time.

So bacon is Dodger game speed through, right? And then as soon as it's over and not before, I then go to my scores, my points. How many points I've accrued on my fantasy baseball. Coffee, coffee is accompanying all of this. Coffee's very first. Very first. I need to light the fuse. Sure.

And it's a long fuse, so it needs time to burn down into the 9-9. For the bomb. For the bomb. You need to light the fuse with a fuse. coffee. That's why I don't drink coffee because I don't want to be dependent on it. Well, it's not that bad to depend on, you know? Like you got

a half hour TikTok until the dynamite gets hit and then off you go. You know, because if you don't have a fuse mechanism, you could find yourself leaving for your day and then you're out in the middle of the community.

And you know what in the community. You smell something burning. And you know, you've got to get to a bunker. For sure, I understand. So, so. And that's unfortunate. All right, so we're back to baseball. I check my scores.

Check your scores. And then I start doing my loop around the internet. And it's a pretty high-brow loop, you know, Will. I'm not dicking around with gossip sites. Yeah. Yeah, I'm seeing what's going on in the dumpster fire. And actually, it's funny to say that. So this morning I had that same thing where I went.

woke up and I did, I did my little, my games with my little crew, coffee, obviously, accompanying it. And then... Oh, right. So, yeah, yeah. So your, your baking... I'm still in that old... Yeah, so he's still doing...

Whittal, quirtle, and octortle. Yeah. Uh-huh. So that takes you... And the gum is as good as it sounds. Sorry, just checking real quick. So you're... What, what...

How long does it take you usually to do those three things? 20 minutes. It depends because the way we played is the winner from the day before picks the starter word that you have to use for all three boards the next day. They've really mixed it up. So wait, what happens?

Yesterday's winner picks the starter word. The starter word that you have to use on all three boards the next day. Oh, really? Yeah. So today's word was sadly. Uh-huh. Yeah, they always get you with an L-Y.

And certain people like, we'll pick Dickey words just to fuck you over and it fucks themselves over too. Sure. And a dicky word would be something that doesn't really provide a lot of vowels or a lot of consonants.

On Easter, our pal put in bunny. Sure. Okay, from the night before. It's festive. It's festive, but B-U and NY is a desert when it comes to that game. So it really messed us up. So today, so I do that, get that wrapped up.

And then... How'd you do today? You feel good about your sport? No, I did. I made a really... I made a really... Here we go, Sean. This is why I don't plan anymore.

Listen to this. Listen to this. The word from yesterday was sadly. And this morning, it was a word on our turtle. So we all had a one. Oh, really? Which is rare, yeah. And so, and then I was like, oh, I'm killing it.

And I made one error on the third word in our turtle. Good, Sean. Get him. What was your error, you fucking moron? I don't even want to go into it. I actually, this is what a loser am, I audibly went, no! Because the letter was already not supposed to be there, and I did it. I had like a brain.

It's incredible. Anyway, but what I was going to get to is that I turned on the news. I looked at some of the news online. I did a little search around. Same sort of thing. And it was such a bummer. And I thought to myself, and it's not the first time, I thought, why am I starting myself out in a rut? I got a

now I got a rally to die at this point I'm so low because the news is as we know so much of it is so depressing and so and I thought by the time I stopped looking at

New York Times Bloomberg Washington Post all these I thought what's the point I guess so then what's the alternative is is maybe tweaking your algorithm such that or not looking

like yeah but what if you go to Instagram and it's and you've managed to get the algorithm pointed towards, you know, unicorns and rainbows and stuff, and you get uplifting messages and all that stuff. Sure. I think that that's positive, for sure. But I think that actually what I came to today was,

I talked to Shawnee earlier after I got off the thing, and I talked to him, we talked about stuff, and that was good as a pallet cleanser. And then I was like, you know what? I think from now on I should play my game, put my three games, put the phone down, and do some, go outside, like two days ago,

because I still had jet lag. I started my little walk that you've done with me before, a little bit. I started at 615. This is with the ankle weights, wrist weights, leg warmers, and the weighted vest. Weighted vest. And high elbows, right?

As you're going up the hills. Weighted vest. Fuck. Weighted vest with a visor and spiky hair. And you do one of the sort of a face shield, one of those droopy masks to keep the sun off your skin? No, I've got pharmacy, like Florida sunglasses. You can put over your glasses full around.

Okay? I got Watman headphones. Any sort of reflective material on your back so you don't get run over? No. Full sleeves. Full sleeves. Lots of waves. Wait a minute.

Speaking of walking last... Yeah. But to wrap it up. Please. That's the way because I feel like it was starting... But you try meditation? Have you ever tried meditation? I have.

I'd like to do... I'd just shutting the fuck up. Do you ever try that? How about that? Let's get to the guest. Thank you, Sean. What do you got for us today? Wait, really quick.

Did I go on too much? No, you did. Last night I was walking and I ran into, you know what a bollard is? One of those cement stoppers at the end of a street or a sidewalk. And it was like, oh, God, I ran. You walked into it? Yes. Oh, you're talking about something that's about Nard height, right?

Yes, exactly. It's just a little higher than a fire hydrant. And it was painted black. Okay. Why do they have them on the corner of a sidewalk? So that people don't drive up. Sounds like your Upper East Side. It sounds very, I know those black.

No, no. It's after I ate at the Waverly Inn restaurant. Oh, no. Oh. So did you catch it right in the nards? No, right above the knee. And I couldn't. Oh, man.

That got hurt. Did you call Graydon Carter for a reservation? Yeah. You did? Yeah. No, no, no, no. Oh, you did it? No, no.

Did Scotty throw you over his shoulder and walk you home? Basically. It was right in front of a taxi and we were saying goodbye, and I was like, I ran right into the thing with my full leg. And I was just like, did we run? Great time. No. I just walked right into it.

Yeah. No. All right, let's get to it. Ready? What's your step count a day? I'm guessing, 400? Sorry. My guest today accidentally taught his two-year-old son to say, I'm a coward, which made me laugh

when I read that. He went to Georgetown and majored in history. His father's job included tracking the hidden fortunes of dictators. after bombing at his first college comedy competition, the guy that won invited him to audition for a sketch show, and that changed the course of his life. He's voiced about 80 animated characters, for real, and the kid he met on the first day of first grade

became his best friend and creative partner, helping turn their own humiliating stories about puberty into one of Netflix's longest-running scripted originals. It's the insanely funny and super-talented Nick Kroll. Oh, Nick! Nicholas Kroll! Get out here! Hey, boys.

Oh, he's going to take it down. I have not spoken yet today, and I'm listening to my voice. That was like the first thing I've said all day. Wouldn't it be amazing if we all, wouldn't it be amazing if we all had a word limit each day? Like every person. For you, it would be, yeah. Hey. But could you imagine if you had to budget out your words for the day?

That would be pretty interesting. That would be cool. Well, man. Boy, you come up with some fun ideas. Nick. You are East Coast because you've already got a smart-looking jacket on. I'm on the West Coast. I was debating on taking the jacket off before,

but I'm dealing with what you guys are seeing is this center stage video where I'm going to be constantly, the camera's going to be following me. You can turn that off. You can't turn it off if you will. I know I can. I can't figure out how. Wait, why do you look so damn good already this one? You got a chore jacket on?

You got a callback earlier? I got, yeah, it's a Lipton Cup of Soup. It's a 3 p.m. slump. and did you crush it? I felt good. I felt really good in the room. Any feedback yet? Yeah, supposedly they wanted

better looking and older, though. Oh, wow. You are in the running in case they can't find that. Yeah, so you guys are honestly out of this. We're the demo. We're that.

Telsey's calling, guys. Nick Kroll, what's up, man? It's been a long time. How are you? I'm great. it's really good to see you guys. Likewise.

It's just to see you. Nick, the first time I met you was, I think, was at Ted Serendez's as a couple years ago at the Grammy dinner thing. Yes. Right? What were you two doing at a Grammy? At the Grammy?

Yeah. It was like, for the comedy category. And we were doing a duet. It was a Bet Midler and Barry Mantelow thing. And they had us play for a few minutes. Right, right. No, but I, you were so kind. And I immediately felt this, like,

rhythm with you. And I was like, oh, I'd love to get to nervous. Thank you. Here we go. This is unbelievable. Every time I felt a connection with you. Let me put your number in the chat. Are you joking?

Come on the pod. You should come on the podcast sometimes. Let's go from lunch and wrap up how we think we did. I'm close by. What's your story later? Because you should come on the pod. The boys let me make the choices on this all the time.

Connie is so. You're so smart and funny and handsome and... Let's go on a run. You want to go for a run? Let's go on a run. Wait, let's go on a run. Wait, wait. So that was the first time that you guys had met?

I actually met you many, many, many years earlier. There was a guy used to do, like, treasure hunts around L.A. Oh, yes. A J.P. Manu. Yes. Are you talking about the LARF? I don't know if that's what it was. No, it was before Amazing Rew.

I remember that thing. And it was just like the amazing race. And this guy organized just a bunch of people to go do this around Los Angeles. It was really fun. Yeah, so you were there, and you, like, I was just sort of starting, and you were one of the most famous people in the world.

In that group of five. And so I saw you, and I said, one day, they're going to make podcasts, and I'm going to hit on him at Ted Sorrento's party. Wait a second. You're skipping over the day. that you predicted podcasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why, that's just... We had to get to Madam Tussos to find... That's right. That's true. That's true. Why have those gone... Wait, so... J.B., do you remember in the 90s,

these guys had a game going for a while? It was called LARF, and they were both out of Stanford. There was one... No, there was another one where we went around, and everybody had a squirt gun, and it was like a game of tag around L.A. I did that as a kid. I did that as a kid. My daughter does that as senior...

No, but all these actors, when we were in our... 20s in the 90s in LA. I remember being out here for pilot season, mid-90s, and somebody's saying, do you want to get in this thing? And people would be, like, at an audition at Warner Brothers, and some dude would come out of nowhere and spray him and, like, you're going to be like, you're in? And I was like, can you imagine walking onto a lot now with a water gun?

So at Franny School, so it's senior assassin, if you get hit with a water gun, you're out. And the only way that you can sort of protect yourself, inoculate yourself from getting some sort of a surprise hit is wearing swim goggles out in public, all day, every day, or swim floaties. So you see like these students are all around town, you know, like markets and shopping,

and they're really funny. It's pretty cool. But these scavenger hunts things, these high-end scavenger hunts, I'm pissed that they've gone away. We should resurrect that. Let's do it. Yeah.

Celebrity scavenger hunt. Let's do it, guys. You guys have a lot of free time. Do you want to start getting into it? Let's do organizing local city scavenger hunts I'm going to organize

Nick Kroll Let's get into it You first of all Thanks for being here And I did I did mean that I just felt like a comedy connection with you

You were very funny Right off the bat And I felt like I've known you But anyway He's a nice guy And he's funny He's a very nice guy What's not to get a rhythm with

So wait Is that true 80 voices 80 80 80 80? I think that's what I think so And is like if I threw out names, you don't want to do that. I probably could. I mean, I'm a monkey. I'll give you what you need. Let's get those numbers, folks.

I'm going to do a fat, look here. Gunter from Singh and Sing too. Ah yeah, this is Gunter from Singh. It's major PG power. Okay. Nothing makes me laugh quicker than a German accent. Okay. What about douche from sausage party?

Dush was Oh, come at me, bro. It was that sort of that guy. No, but wait, no, but wait, do douche from sausage parties. Okay, so wait. So, Dush from Sausage Party, we did, that's the Rogan movie,

and I did the whole thing as like a sort of a British villain, like a, you know, the classic Disney British, like Jafar kind of voice, and then, or like a scar from Lion And it just wasn't working, and we did one last record where they rewrote it as that character. This character did Bobby Bottle Service, who was kind of, yeah.

I remember Bobby Bottle Service. Wait, Nick, you did your series on Netflix. Big Mouth? Big Mouth. Yeah. So we got to clear the air on this. Do you know what I'm getting in? Of course.

Of course. So we've never talked about it. So for years, people have commented me, hit me in the thing, talked to you, to me in real life, I've been in line at the store. Do you do the voice of, there's a character on your show that people thought was me? His name is Mori, the hormone monster.

Is that what it is? Everybody thinks it's Arnett. Yeah. It's, it's, I can't tell you how many people have... And that's you, Nick? It's me. Are you, Nick Dilling Arnette? No, it's, I mean, this is, okay, so here's a backstory here.

Let's clear the air on this. Let's clear it finally. Finally. So I, we did the show Big Mouth. It's about kids going through puberty. And my friend Andrew Goldberg, who Sean mentioned, I met in first grade. We created the show together. He had been at Family Guys for years.

We've been friends forever. And he and Mark and Jen, our other partners, came to me with an idea about an animated show about kids, about me and Andrew at 13 going through puberty. Yeah. And immediately it was like, great. This makes, I really see this show. started working on it and Andrew started talking about he's like you know and like I think my guy who he was a really

early early developer you know he just hit puberty at like five and had a full beard by eight you know and he was and he was sort of like I think my character was like with something encourages him to jerk off like he's got like a hormone monster

and I immediately was literally immediately it was like touch yourself Andrew and it was like that was the voice Because I'd been doing this guy I'd been doing this guy Nash Riki I had a sketch show called Kroll Show Nash Ricky was sort of like a hair metal guy

who was also like had OCD Yeah yeah yeah Wait did was Pete Giles part of that Yes Pete Giles was part of that yeah Yeah we had a we had a song called L.A. Delhi And it was just about all the delis in L.A. Like California girls Because all those guys like hung out of

You know fucking cantors and all Yeah anyway so I did this voice Snash, Ricky. So then we go to do Big Mouth, we develop it, we make it, it comes out. I've known Will forever. Will is on the air with Bojack at this, like, so... The same time, Bojack is like the premier fucking animated show. It never crossed my mind that anyone would be like, is that Arnette?

And then we start the show, and it works, and everybody's like, Can't believe you got Arnette. You sound like Arnette. Nick, Nick, honestly, I can't tell you how many people over the years. I'm like, no, it's not, I think it's, I didn't know if it was you, but I was like, I think it's cruel. Yeah. Is that show still going?

No, we did eight, we did eight seasons. Wow, that's remarkable. Yeah, that's a lot of it. Yeah, we'll have done, we did more of those than basically any other scripted Netflix show, I think besides Ozark. How many have you guys done 140? It just felt like 140. No, it was four and a half maybe seasons. Yeah.

It's too, anyway, so we did it and we're about to put out a new show called mating season. It's the same team who made Big Mountain. What's a premiere on that, Sean? What's a premiere date host? Oh, God, you, wait, I need to look it up. I jumped it. I got it.

I got it. I had to scroll tighten this up later. scrolling, scrolling. When is it, Nick? Guys, I'm so sorry. Check the chat. Maybe Michael Granteria sent it to you. Oh, my God.

I can tell you. I don't even know. Double back at the end, Sean. Okay. We'll be right back. And now, back to the show. Carl, so I know you, so I feel like the first time I saw you was at UCB over 20 years ago. I think the first time we met you were maybe doing monologues at ASCat one night.

Yes, I think that would make sense. Like early 2000s. Yeah. And you were so funny. It was one of those, like the first time I saw you was like, oh, this dude is fucking hilarious. Thank you. Like right out of the gate. So.

And then you just went on to do, what I love is that you went on, and you and Malaney did so much cool stuff. You did a show on Broadway. You did, you did sketches, you did sketch shows. You've just done, what I love is how many different kinds of things you have done. You do stand-up, you do all of it. And is there, is there, do you, now at this point do you go like, oh, it feels too spread out, I want to concentrate on this,

because I know you just did a stand-up special. Yeah. I just watched it. It's so good. Is that kind of where you want to go, or do you feel like you still want to just do millions of different things? I mean, what I'm shooting for is like a B-minus across the board. You can shoot for a B-minus.

You can do so much. You never disappoint yourself. You can really, you don't shoot too high. You stay general and broad, and then nobody can attack you for fully committing to anything. That's such a great call. Oh, I know that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's all about longevity. It's all about just staying right in the middle for as long as possible and then they can't, don't get too tall. Wait, the three of us, J.B., you, me, and Kroll did that animated show with Mitch Hurwitz. Yes.

Sit down, shut up. Sit down, shut up. That was very, yeah, that was, it was literally right after arrested. And it was us and Forte. Forte. Damn, I want to watch that again. I remember the animation being hilarious.

What a cast that had. Yeah, I'm playing a character I would not currently. play, I don't think. Copy that. Copy that. Oh, let's, please explain. His name was Andrew Legustambos,

and it was a Legosambos. He liked, he was a bisexual Latin teacher. Yeah. Do you think, I love that you remember his name?

No, but literally, if you started that today, do you think that today's culture would attack as much as it did, let's say even six months to a year ago? No, I think everything is, I feel like things are kind of settling.

I mean, I don't think I would play that character right now, but I do think things are settling a bit. Like all of that stuff, that I think we're finding different levels now to it, you know? Right, right. Yeah, I think so too. And I wonder why. I mean, the issues haven't gone away,

but maybe the tolerance and the exploration of finding humor in things that are more challenging is more around? I don't know. I think there's a general... I mean, I think there's polarizing views of it, but I think there's a general attempt to be more thoughtful

about what we're doing or how we're doing it. And if you're generally more thoughtful, then I think there's more, a little more room for different versions of people playing different versions of people. I think, in that way, you know? I think also there's... Interesting.

We have to pay more attention to... intent, you know? And if the intent is to injure or to sideline or to be hurtful, then there's no room for it. Let's save that for our personal friendships, right? Yeah, of course. And family, and family. Exactly.

Let's leave family out of this. Wait, so Nick, when you first started out and mentioned in the intro, you bombed freshman in comedy competition. And the guy who won and then gave you the opportunity was Mike Barbiglia, right? Yes. That's crazy. I mean, that's crazy. Where was this?

It was at Georgetown. We did this thing called The Funniest Act on Campus. And I'd never done comedy before in any real capacity. And there were, you know, it's like flyers up. And I went and did it. I was really nervous about it. And I just showed up and my whole bit was that I was going to get on stage and go, you know, I thought I'd be so nervous, but I'm super relaxed.

And then I was going to piss my pants like that. That's a great. It's a good bit, right? It's a really good bit. Except I did not prepare. I was like, you know, as a freshman college. You didn't drink enough water? Yeah, I was like, had drank and like, you know, I was just like so nervous that I showed up and I had not, I had not, I was going to bring like a water

balloon and a pen and like pop the water. You know what I mean? I thought, I didn't. So, but I forgot all of it. So I grabbed like a empty, a sandwich bag in the trash and grabbed a pen and just got on stage and just like jammed over and over the pen into this like water bag in my pocket

so it just looked like I was jerking off on stage basically which is what I've been doing ever since but Mike Mike won Mike had like a solid five minutes as like a sophomore and he won the competition and got

to start hosting at the DC Improv and then he was doing a sketch show later that year and invited me to audition and I did that audition and then got cast and we went to like a kid's apartment on campus and read all these sketches. And I like, it was truly the one time of my life, I walked out of that thing. I was like, this is it.

Yeah. This is all, this is it. This is what I want to do. Because what were you studying at Georgetown at the time? I was studying history and minoring in art in Spanish, just kind of like coasting, coasting on privilege. That was getting goose you? Yeah.

Waiting for something to hit you to do? Or were you going to make a career out of? history. I was going to, I don't know. I think I was just, I truly was coasting. You know, I just was like, I liked history because I think I liked telling stories. But I think I was still scared to like write. And, you know, so English wasn't, didn't feel entirely safe. And then we started doing, and so we auditioned for that sketch show. And we literally then went at the, we did our sketch. It was like, we rehearsed for three months to do one night in Bulldog Alley on campus. And then, and the show was, I mean, we bomb, but I met all these guys who I continue to know and work with still, including

Barbiglia. And then UCB was just about to come on the air, and they came down to GW and did a show at GW. It was like a big improv festival, and it was the first time I saw those guys, and my mind fully exploded. Did they do Bucket of Truth? Bucket of Truth? What's Bucket of Truth?

It was Little Donnie. Remember Little Donnie's? It was like Besser had the sketched this little kid with a huge... huge guy. But I saw that and then moved to the city that summer, or started going to the city, we did a workshop at UCB and, Will, you know Owen Burke.

You guys all know Owen. Owen was my brother's roommate in college, and Owen had just started at UCB. So I started going to UCB, started going to ASCAT as a fan, you know, and could not believe what I was seeing. I agree. I had the same, first of all,

I had the same sensation. I saw them do Bucket of Truth in 1996. They just moved from Chicago. Can you tell me what bucket of truth is? It was a sketch show that they did. And they did it downstairs at the West Bank on 42nd Street, the restaurant, they had that little space down there. And I was like, what?

And it was Walsh and Amy and Besser and Ian Roberts. And I was like, what the fuck? Like watching what these guys did. So I loved it. And then they started doing it, they started doing Ascad, that other plays solo arts on 17th Street before they moved into their theater and I would go every Sunday

and J.B., you remember my old roommate, Duff. I had lived with Duff and I'd been roommates years, but you know Duff too, right? I know Duff, yeah, a little bit through Owen and... Through Owen. And so I said to Owen and Duff, I go, you guys got to... I said, let's go to this thing and see these guys

and Owen came along to... Oh, wow. I brought him to his first UCB show and he ended up as artistic director of UCB. Yeah. Isn't that wild? Owen Bird. Yeah.

as well. Funny, good man. And that was sort of, so I started coming and we would go and I was, you know, I went to solo arts once or twice and saw all those shows and then would go to the theater at 22nd Street and like sit on the side, you know, wait, sit on the side and look up.

And it was like all these people, you know, who were, you know, who were just popping on Conan and... Oh, it's like Glazer and Tina and McKay would be there and all those guys. Yeah, it just was like, and as soon as I, literally as soon as I saw it, the first, did that sketch, little sketch show and then joined the improv group. My sophomore year was like, done.

I'll do back to sort of what you're saying. I was like, I'll do anything. Get me close to this. I'll do anything. But speak more about, you know, because I'm just, I'm most fascinated with people at that age where you need to or you think you need to commit to a career. And you have to really think about making rent and feeding yourself.

And like you're out from the nest at home. And so you're at this opportunity, an incredible university. You haven't really picked an occupation, an industry, a path. At what point did you feel like, oh, okay, there's enough momentum going in this lane where I need not continue to consider other means of support? Well, for me, after a silver spoon, I just wanted to have fun. You know what I mean?

After the spoon. This is why I'm so curious about it because it was like I'd had this momentum since I was a little kid. But I still at 18, I thought, well, is it going to last? Maybe I should study something else that's a little bit more reliable. Well, so going back. So the other thing, my connection to Jason a bit is that you're originally from Rye, right? Or your family. So I'm from Rye, New York.

Oh, no way. Yeah. So, you know, I grew up with. plenty of privilege. So I went to, I never had, like, the privilege was that I could sort of be like, what do I want to do? And I went to college and I started, and I, you know, school was never exactly my thing. I was fine at it. But as soon as I started doing improv and comedy and sketch, I was like, I'll do anything, like, I'll print, you know, like, I'll go anywhere at any hour to get this done.

And when I moved to New York, I had, I did have the real, the privilege of, you know, the, the privilege of, you know, knowing that I could fall back. Like, if it didn't work, I could go get a job somewhere. Like, it was going to be okay. Yeah. But it was, the thing I feel so lucky about is that I had such a clear, I knew I knew I wanted,

I knew as soon as I started doing it, this is all I wanted to do. And any work, now, the question of whether I was going to make it is the intangible. Right. But I think the idea for me was like, well, I'm going to regret the fuck out of this if I don't try. Right.

You recognize that it was something that really fed your soul, that you were decent at it, you liked the out of boys, and it was sort of self-perpetuating. Yeah, and it's never, it's never waned, at least for me. Which is interesting, because, J.B., you do have that as well. At the same time, this was your thing, since before you can remember doing anything else, really, since you were a little kid, there was never like,

hey, I'm going to try my hand at this. You were in it. You were always in it, right? Right? I mean, I don't mean to say that you, yeah, I'm talking to you. I'm not saying that you didn't have a choice, but that was your, in a lot of ways, it was your job. It became your passion. Yeah, I had realized that I was halfway decent at something before I needed to have something that I was halfway decent at. And I think for you, so on that.

And you were cute as a button. Hey, Nick, stop it. God, were you cute? Never in the chat. Oh, no, no. Not another rhythm connection. I run too. Enough.

But, J.B., you had that second gear for you. The thing what you found was when directing and seeing you light up at this stage of your life when you talk about directing is the same way, I think that I certainly did a nick, the way you describe it, discovering this thing where you go, I love this, I got to do this, I'll print flyers, I'll do whatever it takes.

True. You kind of have it for directing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, like 10, 12 years ago or 15 years ago. Right, and like anyone out there, you know, if you were like, lucky enough to get paid a little bit to do something that you would pay somebody else to do, right? Because you love it so much. That's the sort of fuel that can really travel you into

success and longevity and instead of just punching a clock. You know, if it's something that really is passionate. Nick, just quickly, did you do, because you've worked with a lot of great people, we mentioned Mitch Hurwitz and obviously Malaney. You've had a lot of great partners and collaborators. is another funny dude that we know that we all connect with is John Levinstein, who worked on a show. Super, super funny. One of the funniest most bizarre men in the world. I know.

And honestly, I just have to say it since we just mentioned it, the Kroll Show is one of my favorite shows of all time. Thank you, Sean. Truly, I mean. So, it's so funny. And Levinstein was a big part of that, right? Yeah, he was the showrunner, and he had come, we hired it. I mean, I met him doing this cartoon called Life in Times of Tim.

Oh, yeah. And Jiles, that's how I met Jiles. Also with Pete Jiles. Yeah, that's how I met Jiles originally. Sweet Pete Jowles. Yeah, and one of the great voices. Talk about him. You think we got some gravel.

That motherfucker. Pete Jals. You can catch him, you can hear him everywhere. Yeah. It's the World Series on Fox. Yeah. Pete Jiles. So it is, yeah.

I mean, I, hey, by the way, Jason, I'm so sorry Zootopia didn't work out. Yeah. Yeah, I'm the next time on the V-O stuff. They can all be winners on the V-O stuff. I do envy what you guys can do with V-O. I still feel like I'm just leaving voicemail messages. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. Jason, I forgot to tell you last week I was out east,

and I was out for dinner with my little guy, Denny, who's five. And there's a couple sitting next to us, and they're talking about, and they've got like a seven-year-old girl, and they're talking about Zootopia. And my guy, Denny, goes, I saw Zootopia too, and they're like, we love Zootopia 2.

And he goes, and he comes up, and he goes, Dad, can I tell him? I go, tell him what? He goes, about Jason. And I go, sure, and he goes, my dad's friend, Jason, is the voice of Nick. My son is five. It was so sweet.

How about I'm just excited that he knows my name. I know. I love that. I love that little guy. Isn't it? Isn't it? Nick, can I ask about growing up because we touched on that a little bit

and I think it's fascinating and when I read this, I laughed out loud that you grew up in Rye, New York and your parents sent a limo to pick you up from school? Is that every day? No, no, no, every once in a while. When you're good.

So it wasn't... That made me laugh out loud when I read that. I'm like, is that true? Yeah, it was like different strokes, right? Like, you just... Yeah, exactly. It's true.

Well, what happened to all those limos? You remember we used to see stretch limos? everywhere. Where did they go? I kind of thought about bringing it back this year when we went to the big award show the other. Oh my God. That was so all funny. I thought wouldn't it be funny to pull up to like the Academy Awards in a white stretch limo? Oh my God. But I want to know where they went literally

like you say I guess scrap metal yards or do they put them their waymos now. They're all waymos. They're all waymos. They're all. They're all playing in Europe. You talked to them. You talked to you talk to. That's a great joke. So you had to, there were occasions where you had to be driven to school. It just is what it is.

My dad, my dad, it's like, the internet, the internet is real, loves to speculate on my, my dad, his business, fascinating business, fascinating man,

built incredible business. Do you guys, Jay, do you know about his dad? No, please. I didn't either. And when I read about it, Nick, I understood 10% of it. So can you please explain a drug dealer?

What is it? Consultants. He deals drugs. He dealt drugs to arms dealers. Got it. That's lucrative. Because it's two different, you know, you've got to find the guy who's going to come in between him. Was that what that Jonah Hill movie was about those guys?

Remember the movie? Oh, yeah. I like that movie. With Nick Cage? War dogs. Yes, War Dogs. Was that they were that they were doing? I want to see that.

But so anyway, he built this, he sort of did, the larger umbrella would be like risk mitigation. So like it started as like corporate investigations, due diligence, and during the 80s, It was like Wall Street takeover, private, all those hostile takeovers like doing, like Ivan Boski and all those kinds of characters. And then it was dictators, like Saddam, like the Kuwaiti government hired him to find Saddam Hussein's money. Wow.

And Baby Doc Duvalier and Haiti and the Marcos. I love baby Doc Duvalier. Now you're really going into it. Me and Malaney were trying to write a movie. The dog handles Kimmel, handles Fallon, handles Colbert. James Dixon, baby Dixon. Baby doll, that's Baby Doll. That's Baby Doll.

Wait a second, Nick. Now that I think, did Duff write a book about your dad's company? He may have, yes. He may have at some point, yes. Yeah. And so he, and then he's gone on to continue to sort of work in various versions of that business,

and he and my brother have a company called K2 now, which continues to do different versions of investigations and risk mitigation and security and stuff like that. And they make great skis. I know everybody out there likes slal... Slalom. Slalom. Hey, but Nick, you know, I do want to say it,

and I'm glad you talked about it, because you didn't decide what your dad did or how you were born, and your dad started a company, and he was successful at what he did. And so I like that you just, you talk about it openly, because what the fuck are you going to do? Yeah. Right? You don't need to apologize.

The internet will find you. No, I know, but you don't need to apologize for where you came from. What are you supposed to do? Right, exactly. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, that's, no, but it is. I just got, I mean, I feel like I got real lucky.

I got dealt a real good hand. Of course, you did. But you, as I've said, I've known you 20, 25 years. you work really hard. You create a lot of stuff. You create a lot of stuff on your own. You didn't have family in show business. And you did it all through hard work and talent.

So, you know, fuck everybody. But he sounds, that sounds really fascinating. Get them to investigate Bateman, please. The kinds of, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just look into it. Just look into it. But, Jason, why do you keep going to Grand Cayman? Answer that.

Listen, these people are so kind. You're doing the firm cosplay? But yeah, the kind of connections and know how he's got, I just, that's like up there with, I would, if I could pick a new career, if I could go back in time, if I was like 17 and I would like to get recruited by the CIA. Oh, yeah, you have, you have CIA vibes written all over. I would love to be somebody in my mid-50s, like, well, I'm in my late 50s now, that is still,

like, I would like to be able to hold that secret from, because you're not supposed to be able to tell your wife. From your family? Yeah. Right? I mean, if you're really good. You want to hold more secrets from your family?

I've got a little more room. I found a little more room on my drive. Wait, Jibby, we just went through your morning routine. You think that your CIA ready? Are you fucking kidding? No, that's what you do in the CIA. You watch the end of a Dodger game. Yeah.

No way this guy's a spy. Look how dummy is? They're like, how do we kill that Bateman agent? He's at the golf club. We'll be right back. And now, back to the show. Were you going to say, Nick, were you going to say you and Malaney

were working on a script about it, or no? Was that what you're going to say? We were working on a script. We sold a movie called Most Glorious Friend, and it was, you know those like Nigerian email, Prince email scams? Yeah. They're fucking scams?

Yeah. Oh, Willie. The premise of the movie was like, this was the, this time it was real. And it was going to be Tracy Morgan as the deposed dictator of a country called Lyrobia. And his name was Lil Moe. And that was so like a couple college kids respond to the email. And then like Tracy Morgan shows up being like, where's my money? And we pitched it out with Tracy.

It's so, it was genuine. very, I mean, I was probably structurally. I mean, we had no idea we were doing. We just sat there reading Save the Cat by the Chapter and then trying to write off of that. Save the Cat is a screenwriting book. That's so, that's so fun. That's such a fun taking. Scher and I worked on this thing years ago, Mike Schur, we called the Ambassador,

but basically he's too dumb to kill. He's the son of his senator and they make him envoy to the EU to ruin all their trade deals. and then he's like getting chased like born but he doesn't realize he's being like he's being chased he keeps going go around you both all three of you guys could be spies you guys should be like 50s the worst spies post cold war spies

right like spies like you spies like us yeah spies like us but there's a it's just how it's pronounced at the end wait so this this made me laugh too because Big Mouth is about, like you said, you and your friend, puberty 13 years old. But I read your sister, Vanessa, is now a professional puberty educator.

Yeah. What does that even mean? What does that mean? So, yeah, my sister Vanessa is a, yeah, she became an expert in puberty. She started a thing called Dynamo Girl a number of years ago. And it's like after school program for sports for girls. And then as she was teaching these young girls, like they, as they got older and started going through puberty, she realized that there was just a ton of, there was just like an empty

spot in that and sort of the education around that and like having parents and kids understand what's going on. So, I mean, it's a crazy synergy. But I think it just speaks to a little bit of, I guess our experience, you know, she's two years older than me of going through that period of life together. It was of interest. Like, we had those books, like, what's happening to me? You know, those like groovy 70s books with like body, drawings of the body. And so we were... Are you there, God, it's me, Margaret?

Yeah, like all of that stuff, I think, loomed large for us. And so it became an interest for both of us. And she's like, so she's kind of writing about parenting and that kind of stuff. She's got four kids. And then, is she the one, who's the one married to the men in Blazers? That's my sister Vanessa's married to Roger Bennett for Men and Blazers. Yeah, I know those.

I love those guys. That's cool. And all your siblings, there's four of you. Yeah. Are you all funny people? Like, are you all? I think so. I don't know how it works in your family,

but, like, I don't, I think it's pretty rare that someone comes out of a family that isn't all, if they're funny, that isn't also funny. Right, right. My brother's, my brother's really funny and my sister's, yeah, I think it was in the family. There was a sense of humor. Did you guys get it from mom or dad?

They're both pretty funny. My dad's funny. And my mom's got a very good sense of humor, especially having to deal with me tell jokes about mom. Like she, you know, she's like, people tell me, am I upset about the jokes about moms? And I'd say, I'm not. Okay. They're both fair enough, huh?

Yeah. But though, it's a funny family, I think. But I think, but me kind of being like, no, I'm going to go be a comedian. Yeah. Everyone was like, huh, there was definitely, it wasn't like, well, of course you're going to, you know. You know, Jimmy Valli. Yes. Jimmy Valley used to have...

Another vet Levinecy, another rested guy. Yeah, another rest of the great Jimmy Valley, who's one of the all-time... Yeah, one of the all-time funniest and has jokes that nobody else can think of. That are just so... God, I fucking love Jimmy Valley. Anyway, he used to always say, he'd say, like,

you know, if you come... We were talking about somebody, he said, yeah, this guy sort of came from a good family. He goes, he had more to lose. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, well, in a way, he could have gone into... He could have been a lawyer. He could have been a good school and stuff,

and he risked it all to do this. If you come from nothing, you've got nothing to lose. A hundred percent. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. I never looked at that way. It's so true, yeah. Well, Nick, you're so multi-talented, and you've done so many different jobs

in the structure of things. How do you decide what to do next? And, like, what would the perfect next five years look like? I mean, I don't know how strategic you are. I imagine. And I don't mean that as a pejorative, you know. Sure. It takes a certain amount of planning to get things down in this business.

Yeah. I mean, you got, look, he's got roommates out April 17th. He's got mating season on May 22nd. Sean found the file. I found it. Sean finally found the email. You have 100% with Sam Richardson and Jason and Jennifer. And that's another Netflix.

I mean, you have tons of stuff coming out. It's so exciting. So, by the way, Nick, you need to know that Scotty was just off camera going, I just bumped it up in your email. He just held out He just held up a date Scott he was like Do you want me to stop warming the cupcake

And get to your dates? Hotmail.com backslash mail Can we We actually met it on hot mail Anyway so that's just a little joke Just a small joke It wasn't Sarandos's party It was on hot mail yeah

And there just felt like a comedy connection there Yeah So my strategy is I keep And I feel like honestly you guys also do a lot and produce a lot. Like, I keep a number of balls in the air that are all at different stages of development.

And so, you know, I'm... And so I think I like this show... Mating season is the follow-up to Big Mouth, and it's about animals, dating, and falling in love in the woods. So it feels like a natural sort of progression of that. And I've been working with my partners, Mark, and Andrew Jen on that. It's me, Zach Woods, June Diane Rayfeel, Sabrina Jalise.

It's like, you know, like a... Fun. Fun hangout, kind of in the vein of like an animated version of friends or... I can't remember any of the other

any of those other NBC shows. No, can't even. But you know that sort of... That genre. No, I mean, none really... Oh, Seinfeld. There was signs... Yeah, Seinfeld.

Wings! You're thinking of Wings. Wings was great. I love Wings. It's a big influence. A single guy. You're thinking a single guy. A single guy, of course, the single guy. That's what you're thinking of.

Yeah, Carolina in the city. But then there was that show with the gay guys. Two guys in a... Fraser. On a pizza place. Fraser. That was ABC. Frazier.

Frazier. Yeah, yeah. And that's about it. I guess that was that must-see TV stuff. Yeah. To wrap that up. But you're like in this ideal position of really kind of being your own boss

and self-perpetuating. And you've got this great sort of troop of collaborators and colleagues. For sure. Right? Is it as ideal as it sounds? It really, honestly, I really feel it right now. It really is. I feel incredibly, it's at a time when the business is tricky and things are going

away and there's contraction. And the fact that I'm currently getting to make a bunch of different things is, it feels amazing. And I'm writing right now, we're writing 100% here in L.A. And it's me, Manzukas, Jason Manzukes, Sam Richardson, Vanessa Bayer. And it's in the world of kind of like self-help influencer gurus. So we're writing that. We're going to shoot over the summer.

And then I'm producing some other stuff animated and live action. So it's great. The strategy you were talking about Jason, I have two kids. I have a five-year-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old. No way. That's the stuff that starts to play into like how do we, how do I do this and how do I be also home and around and involved so that,

so the opportunities, like, it's like how can I set myself up as well as I can for opportunities that I get to have some modicum of control over, like where. And be in line. Los Angeles, too. Yeah. I mean. Right. That's, and that's what you guys know.

Right now, they can travel with you, but as soon that five-year-old is going to be stuck in school and you won't be able to pop around. He doesn't want to be. If it's any consolation, he doesn't want to be in school. So we might. Does he want to be homeschooled or he's just like, ah, I don't need. He wants to kite surf. He just wants to do, you know what that's fine.

That's awesome. He likes to free solo. He saw that free solo doc and he just wants to go climb. That's hilarious. That's very dangerous, Dick, for a child. I know. I know. We got to let them,

but we got to let, it's lucrative. You can first, you can get that, you and Jason knows, you got to get to work. Got to get these kids to work. So, Nick,

so speaking about a kid, you grew up conservative Jewish and conservative Jewish kosher households, so no, dishes for, separate dishes for meat and dairy stuff. But I read that you had one junk food day a year growing up.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And, and then, what was the other thing I read about food that you did? Oh, that, oh, that you fall asleep, listening to a hypnotherapy tape telling you not to eat snacks?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to a hypnotherapist to... Did it work? To quit smoking. You guys all went to fucking Carrie Gainer at some point, right? Did you ever go to Carrie Gainer to quit smoking? Nobody can cure me. I just...

Iismander it. Nobody can cure me. She's my enemy. I'm unstoppable. There's nothing. That will come between me and my darts. I would love to see that Western, a little spaghetti western of you versus a cigarette

in a standoff. Both of you? No, we're on the same team. We're not against each other. So listening to those tapes at night, was this back in the day when we were told that you could learn languages from just listening to the people speak to you

when you sleep? Yeah, it was, this was, well, I went to Carrie Gaynor and he was like, you know, he was, you'd go to his, like, you'd go to his garage in Santa Monica and there's like a sun-fated picture of Catherine Heigel. And you're like, she was here at some point. And we think. We hope

And So I used him to quit smoking And then I got this woman From the Deepak Chopra Institute And it was like this woman She called me and I talked to her about snacks And then she Like my

Because I just was, you know Like we It's got to go somewhere right It's got to fucking go somewhere So if you can't smoke cigarettes Like give me some goddamn Like you know Sour Patch kids

Give me some fucking chip Maybe some the same way. She's just recommending snacks? No, she would put... So she would make the snacks, she would be like, she would make the snacks, she's like, what do you find disgusting? And, again, using the Germans, a different version.

I can turn that up like five different levels and I got a couple different pitches. Do you find poop videos disgusting? People ask the questions? You're like, I think I got the wrong number. So, but she would equate something like maggots are disgusting. So imagine that you're, basically, imagine that your jelly bellies are maggots and they are going

to, you know, it's in my stand-up. I do it. I can't remember any jokes anymore. But anyway, so I would listen to it when I'd go to bed and it works for a while. But now, God damn, I want to eat chocolate pretzels all day in a little bit. Of course. Well, what if you just cut out the weed? You know, if you cut out the weed, then you don't get snacky at night.

Ooh, we cut out the wee, we cut out the wee. You know what I mean? I've got to be able to relate, my friends. Last thing that I think is really fascinating that I did not know is Harry Stiles helped you plan your proposal to your wife, Lily? No way. I'm a big Harry Stiles fan. How did that happen?

We were making that movie, Don't worry, darling, which I think is most famous for the movie. And... It was the height of COVID. Tell you what, that Olivia Wilde knows how to direct a film. She sure does. She's amazing. Truly.

She directed. It was, I had a, and I played her husband in the movie, and so it was really fun to act with her. Like, I mean, you guys, it's like, sometimes when you act with somebody who's directing,

you know, it's different levels. And she was great. I mean, anyway, so we, so it was the height of COVID. And I was proposed. I was, you know, my wife, we were, and Harry sort of, like, we were planning it out. We were at the, we were doing the, we had just done the table read, and we were all hanging out,

and I was sort of figuring out, and we just, my wife and I just moved into our new house, and so I, like, you know, I had a box, and I was like, can you just move this last box? And she was like, can you just move this last box? And she was like, can you just move this last box? And she was like, I don't know, Harry. So, no, she opened the box. There's a bunch of flowers in the ring. And then he checked in with me to be like, how to go. So I told him basically before I spoke to like, we spoke to our families to let them know that we were married

because he had been checking in. That's so cool. That's so cool. What a story. Yeah, it's really, really cool. Sweet boy. Yeah. Nick Kroll, you are a pleasure, a joy.

I can't believe how quickly this hour went. It's bananas. I know. It's a real sprint. I just want to say, I've loved so many things that you've done. The top three are... No, no, the top...

Well, I just watched Little Big Boy. Yeah. I watched Little Big Boy. So fucking funny. How far are you from Larchmont? Is that where you're going to? No. And then, of course,

oh, cavemen. Of course. I thought that was one of the funniest shows I'd ever seen. And it was six episodes. I left based on the Geico character. With Will and John. Yeah, with Will and Josh.

You guys had just done Blades of Glory. Yes. And then I was in four hours of prosthetics. That was my first job. I was in four hours of prosthetics every morning to be one of the cavemen. It's so funny. But I wasn't in the commercials and everyone hated the show. They loved the commercials.

Right. Everyone was like... I loved the show. The critics hated the show, but what I always took solison was that the public hated it as well. We got canceled. We shot 13. I was in four hours every morning. It was my first job.

And it was the worst job. And perfect first, you know what I mean? Like, thank fucking God. There's no way I could have done it later in my life. So it's so funny that you like that show. I love that show. And then publicity, of course. Yeah, you as Liz.

Hey, Jay, have you ever seen him play Liz from publicity? No. From the Crawl Show. I'm going to send you a bunch of clips. It's crying laughing about a lot. Yeah, you've dealt with. I mean, it's like, as a gay guy, it's like, I would kill the playlist.

I mean, yeah, great. Thank you. Thank you. Well, we want more Nick Kroll. Yeah, no kidding. Everything and anything. I'm stoked for your new show. Say how much fun you had today as Liz.

Oh, my God. You guys, being on this podcast with you, one of the most coveted slots that any publicist could just secure a spot. Spotify, top 20, Apple, top 20. the camaraderie, the friendship, the absolute money grab that this

podcast is for everybody involved. It's an honor to be hold. And to be held by you guys. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Nick. Love you to death. Thank you, Nick. So good to see you, man. Good to see you guys.

Thanks for having you. Thank you, buddy. Thanks for doing this. You too. Thanks, guys. Bye, buddy. Bye. The funny.

The funny. Funny, funny, Nick Crowle, yeah. Yeah, it's so funny. And I love that he showed up to play. And he's so... Always. He's always ready to play. Yeah, and look, clearly, he's got 80,000 things going on.

But how great are these interviews when they feel like five minutes and like you never, you never get to your questions, you know, just because the conversation's so good. That was so, that was so quick. He's a good fellow, that guy. I do send me some of that stuff, show you? And then I'll bet I'll go, I'll go down like a usual. Oh, do send me some of those things. You'll send those bits.

Right after my toilet. Yeah, he's in full drag as Liz. It's so funny. I mean, the balls the guy has just to do anything. Crosho, there were so many amazing sketches on that show. Amazing sketches, yeah. I should probably start. But he did have, he said he did play that one character.

Here it is. Yeah, yeah, the teacher from a sit down, shut up, yeah. What was the thing you remember about that teacher? Fuck, here we go. Are you ready? Yeah, the character was, bye! Bye. Sexual.

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