SmartLess - "Parker Posey"

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

Grow out your summer cut, it’s our steward of the land: Ms. Parker Posey. Storymaking, mime skills, that liminal space, and a little butterfly outside. The laugh is the indicator that we got it… it’s an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Hey guys, I got some wonderful news to share with you. Congrats. Who's the dad? Nobody's the dad or the mom. We're giving birth to a new episode today. What? Yeah. Oh my God.

I didn't even know we were pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Cigars for everybody. Boy or girl? It's a not, we don't know yet. Oh, gender reveal coming. What, ew, are you about to explode?

Welcome to Smartless. Smart. Less. Smart. Less. Smart. Less. Smart.

Oh good, he's into the hair. I'm wearing a hat today. Are you going to get a haircut at any point? Are you going to keep letting it get, because I'm going to grow mine out again. I think I'm going to keep going for a little bit for the summer because I'm not really planning on doing too much this summer. You're going to let it be long in the summer. Hang on, Sean, no one's talking yet. Do you want it, don't you want it short

during the summer though, Will? Because it's hot? You mean for heat? I know, it does seem counterintuitive. Let me know, let me know when. Sean, can you mute your mic? Sean, he did say, Sean, he did say that we weren't talking to you yet.

I know, no, I know, but let me know. Just give me like a hand signal, or like touch your nose or something. I think that he's gonna get to you, and you'll know when he's ready. I mean, I don't want to I know, but let me know. Just give me like a hand signal or like, touch your nose or something. I think that he's going to get to you and you'll know when he's ready. I mean, I don't want to speak for you, Jason. Okay, so go ahead, but the hair, go ahead with the hair. Yeah, I think, I don't know.

I'm just going to, for the summertime, I'm going to, sorry, thank you, Jason. Sean, even the, yes, don't agree. And even the chuckles. Fuck. Sorry, god. He chuckles, it's a good name. God bless.

Wait, but Will, what would it look like if you cut your hair, it would look so different. Would you ever want to just cut the back? I'll cut it for you. No. How about just cut the top and leave the party in the rear? Oh, no, no, no, I was thinking about, or just going, I want to go for Italian soccer manager,

like that guy's Simone Engazi. Tiny Pony? No, no, just kind of like that sort of euro kind of long and then, you know what I mean? No, you look like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men. Oh. Well, that's not a compliment. With the hard bands.

No, I know. That's not a compliment. No, if you comb it forward, that's what you would look like and you'd shoot people with a cow thing, whatever you did with that thing. What was that thing, yeah. Sean, has your hair ever been crazy? Has it always been what you got?

My hair has been, what, really long? You know, when I grow it really long, Scotty says every single morning if it's long, he goes, hey, Mav, which is Tom Cruise Maverick in Top Gun. Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? No, I know, but he's like... Does he chase you around the house, is he saying, hey, Tom Cruise Mav? What do you say when you go to Scavo,

when you go to Scavo, what do you say? Just give me the accountant? Is that what you say? Wait, did I ever tell you? Give me the CPA? Did I ever tell you, I think I told you this, when I went on tour with Kenny Rogers and... I love his stories.

I love what the singer is. He's a country western star. When he would call people up during the 12 days The scene of the country western star. When he would call people up there in the 12 days of Christmas from the audience or whatever and this one woman walked up there and she had like big, almost like Princess Leia like things on the side of her head

and backstage. Cinnabons. Yeah, Cinnabons. And I was so stoned during that whole tour. Why wouldn't you be? And, it's true, why would not, why wouldn't you be? It's true, why would not, why wouldn't you be?

By the way, what was he charging per ticket for the Kenny Rogers 12 Days of Christmas? That's a great question. I don't remember, I don't remember. It's probably pretty steep. It was, what was the stadiums? It was like huge. But anyway, I go, I said,

I was backstage acting like I was in the barber, was like huge. But anyway, I go, I said, I was backstage acting like I was in the barber, and I commented on the woman, I go, and I look in the mirror and I go, just Planet of the Apes today, if you can. I said, look, remember the Planet of the Apes? Girl, women had that picture on the side. Yeah, we got it.

That's why you laughed. Thank you. It was the laugh was the indicator that we got it. So You don't need to explain, don't sell past the sale. You know what I mean? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yesterday, Will, I had lunch with our friend. This is from the prepared section of Sean's notes. No, well, it's what really happened yesterday.

And I got my tarot cards read for the first time ever. What? Have you ever had that? Yeah, have you ever had, I've never done it. But anyway, so our friend does this for a living, this person that Will and I know, and I got my tarot cards read. But that's the whole story.

I never had it done before. I don't really remember, but I had a world card, a judgment card, and a guy that was hanged. Like a man. Did you go all in when you saw your hand? No, yeah, exactly. Have you ever had in when you saw your hand? Yeah, no, yeah, exactly. Have you ever had it done? Have you ever been hypnotized?

No. With a stopwatch? I wonder if they still do that. No, I've never been hypnotized. No. I have. Have you, really? Yeah.

Why? Yeah. I forget what it was. Is it ongoing? No, I snapped out of it a couple hours ago. But this was like, I don't know, 15 years ago. It was part of, I was into some heavy therapy at the time. I was trying to fill some holes

and mend some breaks in my brain. Oh, sure. And it worked, it worked pretty good. I was surprised, because I was pretty skeptical, as one would be, going into hypnotherapy, I think they called it. What was, and can I just, just to get to the nuts and bolts of it,

what was your involvement? Just showing up, Amanda did everything else, found the person, made the appointment, drove you there. Without a doubt, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she did everything except just lay me back easy on the sofa.

What, no, and then she was hypnotized. She did everything. Oh, it was her, it was her. But it was, I was very curious, like what would that be? Do you just kind of zonk out? And it was, it basically took me to the place right before you fall asleep. And so I'm in that space and a bunch of memories easily came back.

It was like right there at my fingertips and I was able to talk freely about all of these things that I guess are under a layer. See, I would just go straight to sleep. I wouldn't be able to speak. I know, but that's the hypnotherapist talent. They can kind of keep you just like floating right there on the edge, I guess.

And you remembered all of it, as if it, yeah? I guess, yeah. I mean, I did retain some gain from it, I suppose. So yeah, I guess it's a valid form of therapy for sure. Never, I don't think. Much better than getting Delta Hanna cards. I mean, what's going on, Sean? I mean.

I thought it was kind of interesting, but I don't really remember any of it. No, the Hanna cards, that is also super valid, and who am I to say what's valid and what's not? Don't walk it back, what are you doing? Yeah, no, I'm just saying. No, are you walking it back? These people. Do you owe somebody money or something?

What's going on? Wait, but guys, speaking of hypnotic. Wow. Let's get to it, Sean. Sean, world class, Sean, world class. Yes, thank you, thank you. My guest today studied ballet as a kid, has some legit mime skills, plays the mandolin.

Home alone. No, plays the mandolin. As an actress, she's played a deranged vampire, a real life prosecutor, an actor playing a reporter, a sociopath in outer space, and of course, a dog owner with a lot of feelings. You might not always see her coming, but once once you do she's the only thing you want to watch. Indie Queen, Forever Party Girl, it's a totally original and someone I love

very much. Double P? Parker Posey? I'm just getting out of the... I was hypnotized. I'm just happy to be awake now. Hi fellas. Hi. This is kind of overdue, right? I love your podcast. How have you not been on the show already? Are you sure this isn't your second appearance?

I don't live in Hollywood. Well, you don't have to live in Hollywood to be on the show. I know, but I don't... Well, someone didn't ask me. I don't live in Hollywood either. Just invite me. I just did. I'm in upstate New York, but I don't, someone didn't ask me. I don't live in Hollywood either. Just invite me! I just did! I'm in upstate New York, but I'll come over.

Yeah, it looks like you live in a very handsome apartment there in the West Village, I want to say. Are you in the West Village? It's called the Chateau Marmont, and it's on Sunset. Oh, you are in LA. And when I, yeah, I'm in LA. Actually, out of all of us, you're the only one who's actually in Hollywood right now

Yeah, as it turns out despite. Where are you guys? elsewhere, you know Wills and see me Valley Sean is Chatsworth. Yeah, and I'm in Brea Sean's in We get a bang for a buck better yeah We get a bang for a buck better. Yeah. Parker, you look gorge. I like the color of your hair. I dyed the hair for a movie I did with Sam Rockwell

and John Malkovich at Martin McDonough film. Wow. Jesus Christ, I'm so jealous of that film. That cast, that, I mean. Steve Buscemi. But you had to go to South Africa for it, right? Easter Island. Easter Island.

Easter Island. They don't know where that is. Rappinoos. It's called Wild for it, right? Easter Island. Easter Island. Easter Island. They don't know where that is. It's called Wild Horse Nine, right? Wild Horse Nine. Easter Island is the furthest place you can go in the world being furthest away from anywhere else. It's a 17 mile island with the heads, with the moai. That's the thing, right.

The cult of the bird man. It's off the coast of South America. Right. So it's not South Africa, it's South America. No. Yeah. It would be like if you flew from Lima, Peru, and you wanted to go to Sydney, Australia,

you'd fly right over it. Okay, guy, cool it. Yeah, that's smart. Everybody's got property in Portugal. And you're familiar with the Southern hemisphere. It's smart. Wait, she said it. I wasn't. I wasn't. My parents would play a game with me in the car, not property in Portugal. I wasn't.

My parents would play a game with me in the car, and they'd be like, what's the capital of Denver? And I'd do this thing and my grandmother, Nani, she'd have this world, this globe, you know those globes that you would love to spin it. I'm going to go here. And I would just play that for hours. And I'd say, you know what? I'll know where I am when I get there. And if I'm lost and I don't know where I am,

I'm going to ask somebody and they're going to tell me. They're going to give directions. And before the phones, I knew where to go and I'd ask people directions and I was fine. Did you come straight from Southeast Asia home, repack your bags and then go to Easter Island or was there a job in between? I'm speaking of the White Lotus show.

Oh my God, that's a good question because there's been so much traveling that I wake up in bed and I don't know where I am. It takes me. You need a nice sitcom over at Universal Studios. Thank you. Just relax. Do you know what, you know, I'm really loving Matlock.

I'm loving Kathy Bates in Matlock. You are? Oh yeah, have you watched it? I bet you could do a nice arc on there. Yeah. Just let them know. Oh, I just like that cozy formula. And she's just fantastic.

And I'm into that. I watched 1923 with Helen Mirren. Oh, yeah. I haven't seen that yet. How was that? It's great. I love the costumes and learning about history and geography and. It sounds like you're good about watching stuff.

Are you, do you gobble up everything? See I'm doing all this, this is the awards push of Emmys and you know from White Lotus. I've never been a part of the machine that has you know had that happen. So you're taking a look at the competition? Yeah. Yeah. So. How do you taking a look at the competition? Yeah. Yeah. So.

How do you think your chances are holding up? You think Kathy Bates is the horse to beat? I do. Uh-huh. I do. She's the one nominated. She's the horse to beat. I wonder if there's a horse named after her.

There's a horse named after me. Is there really? Or there's like a Posey Parker. And yeah, I lived with a woman named Marsha Brill in the West Village. She was an 86 year old, born and bred New Yorker, Jewish lady, who bet on the horses. And she'd go, go ahead, make my day!

Go get her, make my day! And she would smoke, and she was four foot 11. And my friends would come by and they'd be like, she's fabulous. Like she is like having a stiff drink at five and was an editor. You'd go to the OTB with her or she'd just watch it on the TV?

This was on TV on like a little perfect, you know, black and white little box TV from the 80s downstairs around the kitchen. Amazing. But those times are no longer. But yeah, I'm open to LA. I'm using this podcast for you guys to tell everyone that I'm moving to Hollywood.

Truly? No, you're not, are you? But you're not, even if you guys aren't here, you're not in Hollywood. Well, we're in Hollywood, we're not Hollywood. Explain it to me. I'm in the process of moving back to New York, so, you know, I'm going the other way. Is everyone just not, because Julie. I'm going back.

You are, okay. I don't really know where to be, and I think that's from being in so many stories, and I should figure it out and stop this like. Wait, but Parker, you've been going back and forth for years and years and years. If you wanted to move out to LA, you would have. But you kind of, you're in both all the time

and all over the world. I'm in a farmhouse. I'm a lady. I'm a steward of the land on this farm in upstate New York. So I couldn't carry both the city and the country. And so now I'm like this. So you got rid of the city.

You know, putting bird seed in the feeders. Yeah Really? Well too much. Yeah, I didn't know that's a big good for you So yeah, it's a big switch but like like Hudson Valley type deal. Yeah, the Hudson Valley type deal Oh, wow fucking great. Walty Goggins is close by I just saw him last night. I ran into him He has completed 18 months of nonstop travel and work. He did Fallout, he did Righteous Gemstones, he did White Lotus. And I saw him driving up in the parking lot

and I was meeting some friends, well, friends were picking me up at 5.35, it was 5.30. Walton drives up and I'm, Walton! And I see him in the car and it's where he like started crying He was like I'm done. I'm done. I just finished all of this, you know mountain of work gets to relax He's got a beautiful house. We've seen it in magazines Yeah, my house isn't like that. My house is really crunchy granola sweet. Yeah But you love it the renovations I'm trying to renovate and get a new kitchen because there's the insulation My house is really crunchy granola sweet. Yeah. I like it.

But you love it. The renovations, I'm trying to renovate and get a new kitchen because there's the insulation, the pipes freeze and all that. And I love a project. But so my house has been this thing that I've, this being, I don't look at my house like mine. I just want to give to it because it's an old farmhouse. So I guess what I'm saying, Will, is like,

and you guys, I'm trying to figure out just where to land in a community. Let's shoot it. Let's shoot it. Let's cover it. Let's shoot the reno of the kitchen. Yeah. We're going to get together with the gang over at Discovery, and they're going to pay for it. Well, I know that's a great idea because,

and that's what I tell the contractors when they come over, I'm like, I want to, can you, are you open to me filming you with my phone? I would love to do like a home improvement show. I love that. Would you wear this? World, put this on, yeah. Yeah. Dress like you're from 1920.

Turn around, do the hokey pokey. Dress like you're from 1923. Could you do that? Let's do a period reno. Yes! And get me a hamburger sandwich. Yeah. And then what about,

you, so, and wait, Joe Parker, you also, So I'm pitching all that stuff to like, dead eyes. You told me that, I mean, I read that you like Deval kitchens,

because speaking of renovating your place, what's a Deval kitchen? I had to Google it. Deval is loved, spelled backwards. Oh, stupid. Sean, stop it. So stupid. Just throw away my notes.

Why don't you just look at the word and you say what it would be backwards. I didn't know it was that, it's not a real thing? Is it a real thing? Spell it loved and put it, go to the mirror. I just did it. Just look at stuff backwards. You did? Yeah, wait, it's a real thing? Is it a real thing? Spell out loved and put it, go to the mirror. I just did it. Look at stuff backwards.

We did? Yeah, wait, it's a real thing? DeVoe? Yeah, what the? They had this show on HBO Max called For the Love of Kitchens. And there are these groovy English people in their 50s, our age.

And he was making furniture in the 90s and shopping around antique stores and refurbishing this and building that and meeting all these cool guys and making a living and being kind of a vagabond artist and making cool stuff. And that started way back then, right? In the 70s, people were making their own furniture

and the nomadic life stuff and all that. Then it goes out of style and then it came back. But now I think there's a resurgence. People are like, let me see things get fixed and built and give me the reveal. Let me see how it's made. And so I love a reveal. And so, so yeah.

She didn't become a creative director on the show, Deval, until she was in her 40s and her kids were grown. And so there's this partnership, these two people, they're so lovely and have this really beautiful show. And yeah, it's called For the Love of Kitchens. So Deval is their thing. But see, I don't know if I would, I said bye to the renovation because it's so expensive,

I should just like sell it and move somewhere else. No, just keep working. Just keep working, just keep making money, and then the price won't matter, right? Just keep pumping. It's different for women. Women don't get paid by the guys. I don't know if you've heard about that.

What? Make a stand. There's a big discrepancy. There's a big discrepancy, darling. There just is. In these little indie movies, you don't make money. But you do an endorsement.

You should be applauded for, I guarantee you, you've been tempted or offered or presented with some very ugly, low-hanging fruit that you have avoided, right? Some big like, hey Parker, be the star of this big shitty studio movie, and you're like, yeah, I'm good. I like working with cool people on cool things.

Is it true? It's gotta be true. You know, it wouldn't be true now. I'll be honest. I wouldn't do anything right now. It was true when you were younger. It was true. It was true when I was younger.

One knowing but. No, it still is true. You know, I had to turn something down that would have paid me a lot of money after White Lotus. And I could barely put a sentence together. I was so wiped from almost seven months of work in Thailand, and what that heavy lift was, and what that long distance run was,

that it's like, you know, after you go through something, there's like a reverb that I need like three months, three or four months to settle down and get back to myself. It's like- And then they're dangling this big paycheck and still you're like no. And I said, I can't, I can't. Good for you. We'll be right back.

And now back to the show. You know, it's amazing, Parker. I remember you, we don't know each other, but I lived in New York in the whole 90s when you were doing all the greatest films. And you're one of those people who's doing the kind of stuff that I wanted to do. Like I just like admire you so much and do continue to.

Yeah, still to this day. And we're about the same age, maybe I'm 55, but we're like. You guys both play really young though. I would see you around and stuff and I wasn't working and I was desperately, but I'd see you around in the city and then doing stuff. And we had a lot of mutual, and I'd be like, I just, I want to do what she is doing.

Yeah. I want to do work, you're working with great directors, you're working with great performers, you're working with great writers all the time. Like, consistently, year after year, all the films, Kicking and Screaming, Party Girl, whatever, all these great movies that you did. All the Chris Guest stuff.

Yeah, and then you add the Chris Guest stuff. I mean, you got to be really proud. You have an incredible body of work. You really do. I just like, but it's, yes, I am, I can't say that I'm proud. That doesn't really, I feel so blessed. I feel so lucky.

I mean, this is like. Not lucky, not lucky, fortunate. It's not luck. And fortunate. Good fortune, but it's not luck. I hate to bring it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is there. Not lucky, not lucky, fortunate. It's not luck. And fortunate. You had good fortune, but it's not luck. I hate to bring it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is there. I see what you mean.

But yeah, it is a thing. And I mean, I want to write another book. The last seven or eight years have been so, I'm just full of stories, you know? Yeah, I love that. And I know I'm a story maker, and I'm here to share what I'm living and what I'm learning.

Now wait a second listeners, we hate the term storyteller on this show for the obvious reasons. But you just said story maker. I think that's a better word. Story maker. Oh yeah. We're going to allow it.

It's a great fix. Thank you Parker Posey. Parker, I'll tell you why. By the way, you could get away with all of it because you have the credibility. There are too many people now in this town, and by this town I mean LA, and New York, I can consider who have been,

that term storyteller has become this thing and they refer to themselves as a storyteller. Or like influencers. You deserve it. I barely can do Zoom right now. I've listened to a few of your, I am so feeding the bird feed, putting the seed in the bird feeders. Like I didn't even know the storyteller thing

was a thing that people are saying. But think about it, when you hear people say it all the time, you'll go for lunch and people are like, as a storyteller, you're like, you made an episode of a sitcom. Yeah. You're like, fuck off.

Exactly. Like what are you talking about? And why are you referring to yourself in the third person as this abstract object that's full of creativity? Like, go fuck yourself. Right, right. Now you deserve it.

You're sitting in a chair. Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. Like, but you, you're right, Jason's right, and you say story maker, and you are full of stories, and you deserve it, and there's a... Thank you.

Yes, absolutely. You have that, you can back it up. It feels good to be supported by you guys, you know? We got you, girl. My fame hit in the 90s, it's being famous and having that kind of success that I couldn't really explain, and I still don't really understand it. Like, that had older people or...

Look at that. That's Sean P. Hayes. That's me and you in 1998. And you had no idea who I was. And I was like, I'm obsessed with Parker Posey. And I grabbed you and I took a photo. And of course, I was in a movie called Billy's Hollywood Screen Kids and I wear the merch like an idiot

Are you read that? I was Billy and Billy's Hollywood Screen Kids. Yeah, you were so incredible in that play. Oh, you're Talking about are we talking about stop stop stop? What's the double word one? What's the double? Promise is promise. That's it. That's it. Promise is promise.

But then Parker, you're speaking about being famous. But so, but being like, like I just had that photo at the ready because I wanted to show you because that was you at just becoming Parker Posey in the 90s and being labeled the Indie Queen, which did you take that as a- The literal it girl. Yeah, the literal it girl. Did you take that compliment well

or did you not want that? You know what it is, it's like when people point you out in a place as cool as New York and New York City, and you're not cool anymore. So, it's like, you're, you're, you're, I felt like I was called a name in a way, where I was trying to be, or my path was more like, oh, Greg Mottola did a, youola did a reading of his movie

that he was trying to get financed, and then I introduced him to Leav Schreiber, who was in Party Girl, and then we do the Day Trippers a year later, because he couldn't get the original script that he wanted financed, financed, because the budget was too, you know, it was such a community back then.

Right, right, right. And I felt like when it got exposed, right when I got exposed and the whole indie movement got exposed, it also got co-opted by the studio system. And then it became this other thing and all of a sudden, I wasn't viable to get a movie financed and it was such a head trip because, and then I would have to audition for Hollywood movies when I carried the lead

in independent movies that were shot in 23 days. And all of a sudden I'm in a fluorescent lit room, like sweating and feeling like I'm being gaslit. You know? Like, I can promise I can do and memorize these lines and the scripts, and I will have a blast. Trust me, you know? Like, I can promise I can do and memorize these lines and these scripts and I will have a blast. Trust me, you know? And I wasn't, so I had like a good 20 years of that,

you know, after, and then working with Great Art Tours and doing these, you know, not getting paid a lot, but being able to, you know, work in the world. Wealthy with respect. Yeah, my creativity. And feeling satisfied, I imagine. Yeah, it's a weird thing. It's like, it's a mystical thing.

I think my life and people's lives can have a mystical kind of quality if they're paying attention of like, and I think it's a healing thing. I think I evolve, I grow, I'm kind of a hippie like that. Well let me ask you this, are you at a spot in your career, and then we're gonna talk about your personal life, that's gonna be great, that's gonna be a whole

lighting change, you know what I mean? But professionally, are you at a place right now that you had the balls to even imagine and dream and hope for? Is this the career you thought you were going to have or the career that you hoped that you had? There's a lot there. Wow, that's a lot, JB. What the fuck, man?

It's early. That's a good question. You know, when you do a lot of traveling and you're not home, I haven't been home for more than five days since February. Right. It's so much more interesting than your career or where you thought you would be in as far as like,

at the success that something like White Lotus gives you, right? Right. That I feel so blessed, I feel so protected. I feel in my flow, and that is, I feel like I've learned, I've been through a lot. From 45 to 56 was a lot. What do you mean, what's a lot?

Like good or challenging? My dad had prostate cancer for 20 years from Agent Orange in Vietnam. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm talking like a prolonged grief, like an anticipatory grief. I think I had a lot of grief with my career and going like, I don't quite understand it.

As a woman, you get older and then, and the culture changes, so you have that and you You have good ideas that you pitch that are educational and and kids would love them and they don't get made You know, there's a lot of disappointment in the in the culture right now Now more than ever now more as an artist and you're just kind of, but this is such a powerful medium, I don't understand why more is being on the screen. If the arts are going to be subsidized in New York, is it going to be the apex of creativity, then what can we make to form something that will be that

and will hold that for our playwrights, for our writers who are born to tell, that have that soul. And I've read enough scripts and I've seen enough plays to know that there is that divine spark when you read something that is like our town or something that is so, and we used to be a culture that aimed toward that.

And I hope, I'm an optimist, I will be that, to Moscow, to Moscow, check off character till the day I die. I believe in, being in Thailand for so long and coming back to America was so inspiring. I mean, everyone, I'm like, ugh, you know? I'm like, this country and these people and these trees and this nature,

like, do you know how lucky we are? Like, we kind of like shape up in like this way that has been so. What would you do, now that you sit here, I love hearing you talk. Is that too much tooting my horn? Like, is that an octopus? Are you kidding?

I love that. I love everything you said. If you had 20 more minutes on that. Wait, did you everything you said. If you had 20 more minutes on that. Wait, did you just toot? If you had 20 more minutes on that, we would be good. Yeah. Having said all that, when you sit, so sitting where you are today with all that information,

like having all that stuff and you tooted, would you, what would you, is there anything that you would have done differently? Was there a moment? Was there a thing? is there something you look back on and go, ah. She just tutored. You know what I mean? So stupid. Would you have done anything differently? Well I know because you're just all learning about, you know, you're changing and you're like, I mean, I think I

could have been easier on myself. I think I could have not worked so hard and I could have deserved more and. Or felt like you were deserving more, you mean? Yes, that's right. But wait, but Parker, I want to go through things in your life that kind of, I read about that fascinating me. I didn't know you were a mime, you were trained in mimes.

That was a lie. A mime training? That was a total lie. me. I didn't know you were a mime. You were trained in mime. And that was a lie. A mime training? That was a total lie. Oh, I didn't know that. God, I was like, I had to put a resume and I'm a fan, but I saw Marcel Marceau in New York, like on his 80th birthday perform. And I cried my face off.

Because you thought it was amazing that he was moving boxes that weren't there. Yes. Yes. his 80th birthday, perform, and I cried my face off. Because you thought it was amazing that he was moving boxes that weren't there. Yes. Yes. I've never, now where has mine? It's just anything that can reach like a four year old and a hundred year old, like what that did,

it was just so artful and fantastic. Jason has a question about mine. I'm not making fun of mine, you're not getting me to make fun of mine, but I lied about it on my resume. No, but is it still going? Because I feel like it's so resume. Is it still going? I feel like it's so sort of kitsch now that you could actually make a run at it.

If you had, if anyone out there has some mime skills, I bet you could really make yourself a nice living nowadays because it's kind of ironic and you could probably pack some theaters, some large theaters, maybe not arenas, but I think you could do a theater tour. Is it still going? What about MIME? I mean, your overhead's low, you need something black. Something black and tight. No props, you're not allowed props.

No words, no words either. Go get after it. You need a spotlight. Just a stripy t-shirt and a spotlight. And some leggings. Yeah, I'd go see a MIME show. Okay, so wait, so Parker, you were named after the model Suzy Parker, correct? Yeah, there are two parts of the story.

They did love, my parents, you know, fell madly in love and married young and my dad was drafted and the twins were born. Yeah, you have a twin brother, which I didn't know about, you have a twin brother, which I didn't know about. I have a twin brother. And my mom had a friend when she was a little girl,

who, my mom was 12, like 11 or 12, like still a Girl Scout, and one of her friends had, her sister had a baby and named her Parker, and my mom, whose name is Linda with a Y, she always hated it. Linda with a Y. Why does my mother, Linda with a Y?

And she goes, oh, there's a little butterfly outside. No way, let's stop for a second. And so my mom said, if I ever have a little girl, I'm going to give her a strong name like Parker. And so my mom said if I ever have a little girl, I'm going to give her a strong name like Parker. But then she met my dad with this name like Posey and I almost died at birth. My dad was like there in this army. Wait, wait, let's not gloss over that.

Hang on a second. Slow, yeah. We stop for the butterfly, but you don't stop for the dolphin. But you plow through the death? Yeah. Were you plow through the death? Were you almost dropped? Or was it a... What happened?

Were you still in the oven? I was still in the oven. I was born premature. And a week before, on Halloween, my mom got the news that she was having twins. And so the story was that I was in her ribs and they didn't even know where I was. So I was out at three pounds. Like Eve speaking the Bible, right? Like Eve came from Adam's rib.

Yeah, there you go. Wow. It's all coming together. And so, yeah, I was like not even three pounds. And so the doctor I was like not even three pounds and And so the doctor came in I'm saying your your boy is fine, but we don't know about your girl. We need a name So we're just gonna park her right here Right here and what's the middle name and my middle middle name is Christian because they wanted the help of Jesus and God and anyone else who would listen.

And so, yeah, my dad would tell this story. That he was in the hospital with a six pack of beer, like kneeling and praying as he's like looking at me in an incubator with these, and he's like, please God, please let my little girl live, and at that moment I screamed. No way. Oh wow.

So I was like, okay, now my dad talks to God all the time. So it was such a crazy story to tell a little kid, and how you tell, so I got a lot of that mythologizing. Yeah, that's cool though. As a kid, which I, and then he also said, and I looked at that beer can and I said, my girl is the size of this beer can. She's like a beer can with legs.

And that was like, I was like, and look at me now. So. Were you treated like the golden child, because you kind of like, against all odds, you kind of came to life and all that stuff? No, no, no, no. I think that's often the case, isn't it? Like sometimes people are.

I mean, I was definitely daddy's girl. My dad I describe as a comedian without a venue. He was really funny and really a performer. Tell me about that time, about your dad calling, you were in the summer program, I didn't know you were in ballet. I was a ballerina and my dad, I auditioned, I went away when I was 12 for North Carolina School of the Arts to dance, and I loved ballet.

And I auditioned for the dance program, and I didn't get in, and I was devastated. And my dad called the dean of the school, and he said, my daughter's going to be devastated. What do I tell her? And he said, we loved her so much, and she almost got in, because she's so much fun. But you just tell her she's an actress, and that's how it all started. Oh, for real?

No way. Really? Yeah. And so I went back to NCSA for acting, and it was there I did clowning, and maybe that's why I made fun of Mime back then. But I have respect for Mime, and I appreciate Mime. And I did movement and dance and all of that.

And... So where did you grow up? Where was your childhood? Monroe, Louisiana. Oh, really? Born in Baltimore, raised in Louisiana, and then Mississippi. That's right. We moved to Laurel when I was 12. So I was already like out the door. What was your first pro gig?

It was a short... I was a junior in college and was a short called first love fatal love for HBO about a woman and a young person in high school Who had AIDS and this was played by a woman named Alex Odair. I love it adore She's Gabby Hoffman's older sister and she's just brilliant and a great person and woman, and she wrote a book too, she's just wonderful. And Steve Zahn, Steve Zahn had 10 lines in that, I had 10 lines, and I had 10 lines. I was 20, I think.

And then what, and then you did that, you graduated from, where were you? What about you, I want to hear like little stories, like when did that all click for you guys? No, but how'd you get to New York? No, to hear like little stories like when did that all click for you guys? No, but when, how did you get to New York? No, no, you're in the chair. You're in the chair.

So when did you move to New York? So at NCSA when I was there at 16, because I went for the summer programs and I just loved it, one of the teachers there named Molly, she had this big cow, she was a modern dance teacher and she had this big cow patty bun on her head and wore like, you know. Cow patty bun. Leotards and character skirts all day long. She'd been wearing them for like 35 years, right?

Love them. And I love the modern dance teachers. She said, you know, you may want to try auditioning for SUNY Purchase for drama. And because these schools accept different types of actors. And so I auditioned for NCSA, Juilliard, and SUNY Purchase. And Purchase was the school I got into. That's amazing. Wow.

And your roommate was sharing. And I was going to, I was living in New York City the June in 1989, 90 of my junior year. And freelancing with a manager, I know, gosh, it's wild to think about how long I've been doing this. That was the year I moved to New York, 90. Wow. Same year.

Where did you live? Everywhere. We'll be right back. And now back to the show. Parker, you've talked a lot about your, you know, you described your family as like these fabulous southern characters that you emulate sometimes and stuff.

Like what is your favorite things to go to when creating characters that emulate your family? Like a lot of my Midwestern stuff, like I do that too. We call pop instead of soda. There's Portillo's, which is a very popular Midwestern chain. Obviously the pizza. This is insane character work you're doing.

I just want to, just as a quick aside, how do you... Anything above 50 degrees. How do you keep track of it all? Just as a quick aside. Where did you train? Anything above 50 degrees. Are you in character now? Who are we talking to? Who are we talking to right now?

I know, I got to chat. I got to go to zero. So Soda, you call Pop. Pop, yes, hang on. 50 degree. Can I get a pen? I'm gonna get a pen. I'm gonna get a pen. I'm gonna get a pen.

I'm gonna get a pen. Cinnamon rolls with chili is very Midwestern. I put ketchup on steak. My mom used to say, like, my mom used to say. What if you were to play somebody from the Northeast? Who, me or Parker? Yeah, what are you putting on your steak then? Yeah, no, Sean.

Sean, what would you call soda then? I don't know what they call it. Seltzer, Parker? Yeah, what are you putting in your steak then? No, Sean. What would you call soda then? I don't know what they call it. Seltzer. Right? Seltzer. Oh, do they call it seltzer? Now you're in it. Don't they call soda in the South?

If you were in the South, you'd call everything a Coke. That's right. No matter what. Coke. Anyway, I didn't know if there was any. Yeah, the South is a different, you know, I just, yeah. Did you read plays? Did everyone read plays as a young actor?

Yeah, always, yeah. I didn't. So it's that, well you were already on that TV show, Jason. Dumb stuff, yes. How cute were you on that little show? I mean, pretty cute. I was like, he's cute. He's really cute, he's very cute.

He's still very cute. Very cute. Don't kid yourself. Let's go slow through this section. Okay, so listen, then Parker, I want to go through your hobbies, if it's okay to call them hobbies. Pottery, sewing, Ashtanga yoga, which I have no idea what that is.

Ashtanga. Ayurvedic medicine, I have no idea what that is. Like, what are all those things? Stupid. That's so stupid. Oh! is like what are all those things? Oh my god. What are those things? What's Ayurvedic? Is that it?

Okay, Ayurvedic. When I was doing, I did a movie called The Eye with Jessica Alba and it was based on a Korean film. Yay Jessica. It was based on a Korean film, a horror film, about a woman who's blind and gets a chance to see. I'll be honest, I never saw it. And so she, my sister, Jessica gets her eyes,

gets a surgery where she gets these eyes back and they're the eyes of a murderer. And it was a great part as her sister because all I had to do is like, what's going on, you seem different. And I was in New Mexico for like three weeks. And I went to the Ayurvedic Institute and I sat in on some classes with an Ayurvedic teacher named dr. Vasant lad who is like one of these leading Ayurvedic

People in the country and if you know Andrew while I think his name is or with the with the big gray beard Yeah, that guy and so you know about it. Yeah And I sat in on some classes at the institute there, and I met this, I hung out at the Annapurna Cafe, which is like the Indian cafe, and found the yoga classes, but heard from this guy Prakash that there was a, there was an Ayurvedic school, and I should go,

because this Dr. Vasant Mahat is incredible. So I sat in on some classes there. It was really cool. What do they teach? What is Ayurvedic? It's a science. It's a science of the body and like we're born into these bodies that tell us what our psychology is and what our diet, how we should eat. And then there's three different, there's pitta, vata, and kapha. So everyone falls into these different categories of, I burn through energy.

You know, like when I'm working, I'm quick to grasp things, but I can easily forget them. And so it's like a way of your body, you're designed in a certain way. We're incarnated into these bodies to have this kind of experience, and with these bodies, they are teaching us

how to be centered and aligned and open. And there's certain programs that benefit each type of body. That's right, yeah, and certain foods. So there were people who had cancer who did the Ayurvedic. There's a, it's called Pachakarma, I think. That's interesting, I'm not really into that.

It's really interesting. And through diet, they've healed themselves. And then they're like, okay, we're opening a restaurant in Hawaii and I'm going to serve Ayurvedic food because this is healing people more than my chemo did. So when my dad had cancer, I tried to get him to be more, to be healthier. And I saw someone sent me a doc called,

I think Surviving Cancer, which had an interview of all these people who said, I'm not doing chemo, I'm just going to see what happens with my diet and then I change it. And anyway, it's kind of, I like all that stuff. I've met two people in my life who, in the last 20 years, who had different forms of cancer, who did similar things, who changed not just their diet,

but their lifestyle, removed stress, and did all that stuff, and were able to completely eliminate the cancer. This one guy had been a firefighter and he developed lung cancer, true story. And he ended up being, JB, he ended up being one of the coolest guys I've ever met. He quit his life, he moved to Carmel,

and he became a caddy at Pebble. And he's one of, yeah, this guy Ryan, and he's one of the coolest people I've ever met. And he's like, I just, I wake up every morning and I walk, my wife does it, we make all this stuff, and I've changed my life, and I like being a caddy, I'm out here in the thing, he plays golf as well. He's like, and I've just.

Zero stress. This is what I do now. Zero stress, he refused the chemo and he beat it. Now, again, I don't know if it works for, but he really did it and he went full bore, he leaned into it. And in addition to beating the cancer, and I think he was predisposed to be this way,

he had an incredible energy about him. He was an incredibly empathetic, kind person. And he had an aura about him. Like really pretty amazing. That's cool. Or you can wake up every morning and eat a Pop-Tart and stress out about your bottom line, right, Sean? And answer emails like a gopher.

That's me, Parker, by the way. Before you hit send, you get a reply from a shop. Dee pop tarts. I'm not angry. Dee pop tarts shot. I do sometimes, I have a couple boxes in there now. With a glass of milk. With a glass of milk, but I have to cut down on the sugar

just because it's not, I don't have to cut it all the way out, I just have to cut it down a little bit. How'd it go last night? I didn't have a dessert last night for the first time in like 10 years. And did you wake up feeling a little snappier? I did actually, I slept a little better actually. Yeah, that's what happens.

Now Parker, when you were in Thailand, did you see a lot of the Ayurvedic folks and some of your yoga practice? I bet was, there was a lot of- Oh my God, I did it all, I was so excited. I bet that was a dream for you, you must have loved it there. It was a dream. I heard about this place I was so excited. I bet that was a dream for you, you must have loved it there.

It was a dream. I heard about this place called Kamaliah. Mike's lawyer's wife, I just struck up a conversation, we had all just landed there like a week, you know? And she said, I'm going to this place called Kamaliah, it's for women of a certain age, and you know, I'm going to go there for two weeks

and get this all sorted out. And then I saw her two weeks later and she was just like, oh really? What do you mean, just exhausted? No. Transform. She was like it changed my life.

Yeah, wow. She got grounded, she was centered, she was like, it opened up a lot of healing. And so this place and these, it's very, there's an Ayurvedic chef there. And it's a wellness center and has one of those plaques that Mike visited this place for White Lotus. You know, a digital detox, please no cell phones at the table

and all of that. And there was a communal table. I mean, I got to stay there for six weeks. Oh my God. Wow. And I did Reiki, I did sound baths, I went to that liminal space you were talking about earlier in the show. Right, the hip-hop.

Where you're in between consciousness and you're in a theta state, I think it's called, too. And I had waking moments and dreams and I saw things and it was like, it was founded on a monk's cave, like 25 years ago. This couple, John and Karina, met each other and then reconnected and built this beautiful place. So it's, the thing about Thailand that is so special

are the people. Yeah. Like, a rite of passage as a, you know, I don't know how old, as a 13-year-old, maybe in high school, is to live in a monastery and live off the kindness of others who are going to drop off food for you to eat. Wow, wow. So they have, it's a lot of reciprocity.

Okay, at Kamaliah, there was a doctor named Dr. Cern. I had this muumuu kaftan dress on with dogs on it. And so she knew I loved dogs. I had this Moo Moo caftan dress on with dogs on it. And so she knew I loved dogs. And so she told me about her, she showed me pictures of her dog KK. KK means crooked and tie. And KK had crooked eyes and his little like, you know, a mix, kind of a corgi mix, but a little stockier.

And the dog, she showed me these pictures of KK with like carrying a dead leaf, like a leaf or a branch in his mouth, her mouth. Even KK knows to bring offerings when she wants something. So she would make offerings of like a leaf or something, she'd bring it to the door for food at the back door, Isn't that the best? And then when you got back to the United States,

you're like, this is the best country in the world. So listen. Hey, Van Nuys. Woo! No, wait. They're so kind. Like it's so, they're so present with you. And it's just so, yeah, anyway.

I can tell you guys kind of spaced out and checked out. No, we were listening. No, I love that. We were listening. We were listening, I love that. Parker. No, Dazin confused. Party Girl, you were queen of the indies.

All the Waiting for Guffin, Best in Show, White Lotus, you killed in that show. You have, remind me the name of the movie that's coming out. It's called the waiting for guff and best in show, White Lotus, you killed in that show. You have, remind me the name of the movie that's coming out. It's called Wild Horse Nine. Yes, and really quick, before, do you remember when I came to your apartment in New York when you were practicing mandolin for Mighty Wind?

Yes, that's right! Yes, and I sat there in your apartment with you and you're like, I want to see what it's like to be in a Christopher Guest movie. And you showed me the outline of Best in Show, or no, of A Mighty Wind. And I was like, oh really, so you just make all this stuff up, like you completely improvise, it's really cool.

And then you were showing me the song that you were making up with the mandolin. I just thought that was fascinating to me. And what a fun. I think I kind of got what it was to learn an instrument at the end there. Like I could start jamming with songs and then get that kind of space. Yeah, that was so cool.

I'm so glad I got to do that. Do you remember our Oscar-winning film we did together called The Sweetest Thing? Yes! I mean, was that not, you just creatively, the most fulfilling. Yeah, I know, we just killed it. Right?

We killed it. I love that. I was so excited to be working with you. We all, will you stay? I really enjoyed hanging out with you guys. You know, you do these things, and then you don't really feel like you're hanging out. And so this is a lot of fun.

Well, we're going to come over to the chateau right now. We're going to have lunch. Yeah, we're going to speed over. I have something at 2.30, and that's it. Parker, we love you very much. Love you guys. Thank you for being here. Such a fan.

Such a massive fan. I hope you win for White Lotus because you deserve it. Yes, please. Thank you. I just hope I'm nominated. Yes, I hope that. I'm honored to be nominated and I hope that happens. So thank you for sending out that Hollywood vibe.

I love it. You get our votes. Thank you guys. Bye, honey. Love you. Thank you, Parker out that Hollywood vibe. I love it. You get our votes. Thank you guys. Bye, honey, love you. Thank you, Parker. Love you guys, thank you. Bye, bye, bye. Oh, then she just covers up.

Look at that. Look at that. She knows what she's doing. I know what I'm doing. Love her. Wow, yeah, really. That Parker. She's so funny.

She's an original. Yeah. Oh, it's just consistently exciting so funny. She's an original. Yeah. Oh, it's just consistently exciting to watch. She was on Will and Grace a lot, many episodes of Will and Grace. Oh really? Why didn't we talk about that? Yeah, what happened to that?

I didn't know whether to be like, hey, remember when you were on Will and Grace? Yeah, I didn't have any question about it. It didn't stop me. Yeah, about what? Did it stop you? Remember when we did Sweetest Thing together? Yeah, I know.

But yeah, I mean, she's always been so kind. I've never met her before. I remember. Oh really? Isn't she hilarious? Yeah, she's amazing. She's great. She's as advertised.

She delivers. Yeah, and she's, I don't know, but you guys, I love all that kind of talk about like all that healing stuff and that Iveristic or whatever it's called. That's what it was, Ivoristic, good for you. Or something, Ivoristic. Ayurvedic.

Ayurvedic, that's what it is. Ayurvedic, I want to learn more about that. No you don't. We want you to learn more about it. I do, actually. I actually do want to learn more about it. Why don't you go to Thailand for six weeks and go to that fucking wellness center

and get yourself flushed out. Yeah, why don't you go fucking, you won't even go to the 405. What do you think, he's going to fucking Thailand? Scrape some of the impacted bowels you've got right out. Can you imagine if he had to go to a place that he didn't have access to, Jeopardy every night? He'd be fucking them up.

Or Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune, never fucking happening. No, I'm not going to Thailand. No. I appreciate these almonds, but do you have any hickory almonds? Yes, absolutely. How about when she stopped for that butterfly?

I love that. And, you know, a butterfly rhymes with... Here they come. Here it comes. Butter... Bye? What? No.

That's not even a thing, man. I know, it rhymes with butterfly. No. Keep working. You can just make sure. Will and I will talk for a while and you do some Google searching, come up with a bye. Will, what's going on with your mic stand? I don't know, man.

Leave it alone. Is there anyone in the office with you, Will? Yeah, there are 300 people here. Yeah, oh yeah. What are they doing? Counting paper clips? They're working, man. They're working away.

We got Twisted Metal Season Two coming out this summer on Peacock. Oh, look at that. Give it a plug. Twisted Metal. Well, you asked. You asked. This is a behind the scenes tour, hard rock tour. Super Team Canada, we got Super Team Canada coming out.

That's already out. That's an animated show. Check it out. It's fantastic. We also have our new doc that just got released, Sexiest Man in Winnipeg. Listen, we got a lot of things going on, okay? Sure, sure, sure, sure, yeah.

So Sexiest Man in Winnipeg, that's about a doctor? Have you said, he just got out of prison? Do you want to know the truth is, it's about a guy who was a sports supporter. Anytime you're ready, Sean. I can't find one. Fuck. You can't come up with a buy?

I had a whole list. Oh. It's The Sexiest Man in Winnipeg. And it's about a guy who's a sports reporter who started robbing banks. True story. Well, it sounds like a lot of stories going on. It sounds like you're taking one and another one

and you're coming... Biting them! Biting them! B-b-b-b-biting them! Don't allow it just to make the pain go away. Smart. Less. Smart.

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