SmartLess - "Paul Rudd"

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

Pull out your ham glazing kit, it’s Paul Rudd. Forensics, a death in the audience, and the best WiFi in town. Are they hocks? They can be. It’s an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

So, listen, this is, I know Sean's favorite part of the show, the cold open. Yes, super fun. Chat and chew. Chat and chew. Well, but no, no, no, that is his really favorite part of the show is what follows here after the fun music he gets to do is coffee chat. But right now, he sort of welcomes the listener in. Right, yeah.

How you doing? How's everybody going? And sort of gets a sense of everything, asks everybody how they're doing. And then like a little funny quip, like what's the bit going to be? Yeah, or I could do a dad joke, you know, or whatever. I could do like something like, I could do something like I asked him to do. Or, I know you could do that. Or you could just say to our audience, you could just say, hi.

Hi. Welcome to Smartless. Welcome to Smartless. Smart. Less. Smart. Less. Smart.

Less. I have to say something. Okay, this year, you guys, both of two of my best friends in the whole world, you, both of you, are doing some of the best work I've ever seen you do. I'm hanging out with Will on the set of his movie, and I've seen some footage, and Will, the work is truly, truly incredible. This is what I'm hearing, Will.

Truly incredible, mind-blowing. I've never seen, people are gonna be blown away. Not surprised. And Jay, when I sat down and watched Black Rabbit, I've already spoken about it, this year is so exciting, I'm so excited for people to see both of you in these two incredible pieces,

and I know you cringe when I say this, pieces of art, because I do believe that they're two pieces of art. Well thank you coming from the reigning Tony Award winning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well that's not why I said it. It's not why I said it. No, but you set the tone for us. You kind of let out, and you know, what a performance!

Really spicy from the Tabasco, dear sir! And now, and now. That was unexpected. Nobody thought. Watch him go back. That's as he's getting yanked out. Nobody. I have a good, wait, I have a good.

When do we start recording this episode, you guys? I got a heart out. I know. Wait, listen, wait. Sean, your guess is going crazy. Do you want me, I know, I'm a good- When do we start recording this episode, you guys? I got a hard out. No, I know. Right, listen, wait. Sean, your guess is going crazy right now. Do you want me, I know I'm gonna get there, but do you want me to ask you guys a thoughtful question that we can riff on,

or I can have a joke, or we can just get to the guess? Choice of pattern today, huh? Yeah. What do you want? What's happening? You've had some time? We haven't done one of these in a couple of weeks. I guess you've got some material.

That's what I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. I'd love a dad joke. I'd like a dad joke. Okay, well this is the, I have, okay, I can do a dad joke, I can also do a, this is a great joke I just heard yesterday. Fuck, you have genres of jokes too? Like you have subsections to you.

All right, so this guy, this patient is in your, that patient is in a urologist office and the doctor says, well, the result is that you gotta stop masturbating. And the patient says, why? And the doctor says, because I'm talking to you. I love it. Oh, really?

I thought that was funny. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Oh, wait, and then I got, wait, do I have? I've got one like that, but I don't have it yet. You know what?

It's all rusted. How about this? Yeah, go ahead. Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication? Hmm, careful. For Hispanic attacks? Oh, that's all right, that's okay. I feel like that's okay. I feel like that's okay. All right, great.

Yeah, all right, let's get to the end. But also, for the record, no reaction. That was a zero reaction, story of my life. Ready, here we go. I'm your America Gafan now. Guys, my guest today, who's far funnier than I am, grew up in the Kansas City area, and he's a diehard-

Jason Sudeikis. Diehard Kansas City Chiefs fan. He's the co-owner of a candy store in Rhinebeck, New York. Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd, let's just bring him out. And he once said his secret for staying youthful and fit as eight hours of sleep. This should just bring him out. This is Paul Rudd.

This should just bring him out. You gotta bury the tell stuff. You gotta bury the tell stuff. People often still mistake him for Ben Affleck. He met his wife when looking for a publicist after filming Clueless. It's the hilarious, delightful, and widely talented Paul Rudd.

What? Paul? Wait, did you guys already? A slight reveal. Let's see it just in his mouth. Oh, he's doing his, he's just doing a slight reveal. This is long overdue. How did you know he was from Kansas City?

Guys. Because there's only a few. There's Claire McCaskill, there's Rob Riggle, there's Jason Sondickis, and there's all that. How do you know that? Paul, do you get mistaken for Claire McCaskill a lot? I get a lot of her emails. Okay, okay.

And it's usually when they talk about the three from KC. The big three. It's Sudeikis, me and McCaskill. How has it taken this long for Sean? I feel like this is Sean's fault. Couldn't make your deal any earlier than now. And now finally you've given us a manageable price. Aline Kashishian was rough in the negotiation.

Was she tough? She was like, oh, are you with Aline too, Paul? Yeah, yeah, there's a package right on this. That's your manager, that's great. Always. She's great. Back when she was, she was my agent when she was an assistant. That's how far back we go.

No way. Oh wow, how about that? Wait a second, so she was working the phones for the real agent and that real agent kind of siphoned you off on the junior slash receptionist. ICM. It was right around, since kind of clueless. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. And wait, I want to go back, because I didn't know you own a candy store. Can you talk to me about the candy store, please? Sure. Like, where is it? Oh, you had an address on it? Sure.

I want to cover Sean's passion. Well, it's called Samuel's Sweet Shop, and it's in Rhinebeck, New York. Wow. And it was started by a guy named Ira. Sure. And he was just this sweet guy, and he passed away sadly, when he was very young.

And we didn't want the candy store to kind of go away, and he passed away sadly when he was very young. And we didn't want the candy store to kind of go away because it's not a big place, it's not a big town and all the high school kids would work there and everyone needs a candy store. And so Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Hillary Burton who are neighbors of mine. Yeah, let's, yeah.

I know me some Jeffrey Dean. You do? I like all his performances. Sorry. Anyway, we went in and another guy named Andy Ostroy, we went in and bought the candy store and now we run it. Now, Rheinbeck is... You can't walk there from the city, right?

That's a trip. You can, it'll take you a while. Yeah. You'd need a lot of candy to fuel it. Yeah. Is it, it's like a two hour drive? It's about a two hour drive. Yeah, about an hour, depending on if you're leaving from the Upper West Side,

it's about an hour and 45. Well, I'll get a head start. Jenny Slate also owns a small store like Upstate New York. Massachusetts. Oh, nevermind, moving on. A general storage. She has a general storage. Same with that.

Correll, too. Are we going to start going down, Sean, you want to start listing people who also own businesses? Just come on down to 85 and let us know. Paul's got a candy store in Rhineback, okay, started by Ira. And that's it. Wait, so go back, so you met Aline that way,

and then you met your wife because you were looking for a publicist, is that right? Yes, well, I was the director of Clueless. You were the director? Amy Heckerling. So Amy Heckerling said, after we filmed Clueless, I knew nothing about anything, I still don't that much, really, but.

Were you Clueless? I was Clueless, well done. You. Welcome to Smartless. Guys, we're cooking with gas. Emphasis on smart. I mean. By the way, I love Julie, your wife Julie. She's awesome.

Oh, thank you. And she loves me. Julie, that's what it is. Thank you. She loves you guys. And she said to say hi, and she also said say nice things about her. So I love my wife. And she's an say hi and she also said say nice things about her. So I love my wife and she's an avid listener.

And then we just hear the page flip and then you. And now it's enough of her. And so yeah, so what were you talking about? I was talking about meeting Julie, looking for a publicist on Clueless, Amy Heckerling. Paul, you're upstate, so you meet your wife Julie, you meet her through, she's your publicist, we've been through that.

I mean, let's just get down to that. Here are the brass tacks. Nobody really cares. You are a guy who has been- They do, I do. You've been working at the highest level for over 30 years, and I mean that in a way. You have been consistently doing stuff, comedy, drama,

all this, like, right? Always at the- No missteps. No missteps. Yeah, not one. I think there no missteps. Yeah, not one. I think there are a few. No, not even, not even Halloween, no, Halloween six, not even that. I saw that, you were fucking great in that.

That was 75 years ago. That was so good. That's the first thing I ever did, the first movie. No, was it really? Is that true? Yeah, did, now, had you seen the first five parts? Are you kidding me? Were you lost in the storyline?

I've seen all of them. I saw all of them. You saw them all? Yeah, I loved them. I saw the first and parts where you lost in the storyline. I've seen all of them. I saw all of them. You saw them all. Yeah, I saw the first and loved it. There was five more. Is that right? No, he was in six. There might even be more than that, yeah.

The first is a classic. When you get to six, plot holes. What are you talking about? I loved it. There's some shark jumping? Yeah. Oh yeah. Do you end up getting killed in that one, spoiler?

No, I survived. Do you end up getting killed in that one, spoiler? No, I survived. Do you get a good shot in on him? I remember, yeah, we get into it. We had some scrapes. A knife fight? Yeah, now because you've done so many movies, do you really truly remember? Sorry, what Jason's asking.

Wait, I wanna wrap, what was the weapon that you guys were tossing with you and Mike Myers? I think I hit him with a pipe. Okay. I think I maybe hit him with a pipe. That's a good choice. So you stun him for a second, but then he continues after you. Yeah, by the way, didn't kill him.

He never runs. It didn't kill him. No, that's what's horrifying about Mike Myers, is that he never runs, he just walks, because he's going to get you. He just walks. He's going to take his time. Did you ever do a tie-in around Halloween

at the candy store with like photos of yourself from the Steels 3 movie? That'd be good. That's a great idea. Thank you, Will. That's a great idea. I haven't done it. Yeah.

I haven't really done that yet, but maybe this year. Write this stuff down, Paul. So you end up surviving six, but was not in seven. Did you? No. I didn't, they didn't ask me about seven.

They did like a cast change like Fargo or. I think they kind of went. I want to say in seven it might have been Josh Hartnett. They did a white lotus swap. That might have been H2O. Oh, H2O, I remember that one. I think it came back strong in seven. If I had been a reviewer of seven

and that you weren't in it, my headline for my review would have been all trick and no treat. Oh, geez. You know? Oh, man. You know, Paul, you're in a pretty special episode of Smarts Reel so far.

We're only 31 minutes in. That's really sweet. And we're not even to the first question yet. 29 of which my microphone went down. I know. I did want to know. Can I just say also how fun it is, just to listen to you guys. Well, keep your knees bent, we're only halfway through.

To listen to you guys before I come on and to hear the jokes, which I really, really liked. Did you like my urologist joke? I did like the urologist, you're the one. Yeah. I'm a fan of the dad jokes. I heard one not that long ago that I really liked, which was,

where do the McKid melons go for the summer? Where? Where? John Cougar's melon camp. Nice, that's a good one. I love it. I've remembered my urologist joke. Guy goes in for a prostate exam.

Shit, oh my God. No, Jesus. No, this is bad. Come on, watch this, Paul, watch this. We don't have any kids listening to this. Like a good prostate just joke. Guy goes in for a prostate exam. Shit, oh my God. No, Jesus, no. Come on, watch this, Paul, watch this. We don't have any kids listening to this. Like a good prostate exam joke. No, Paul, watch how you bludgeon a joke. Keep going, Jason. Watch, go, Jason, try it.

I will stumble right before I cross, right before I chest the tape, I will fall. Here we go. So Guy walks in, you're all just, hey, he's gotta get his prostate exam, and so he's gotta lean over the table, he's gotta get his prostate exam. And so he's gotta lean over the table, he's gotta get the old, whew, and so the doctor says, okay-doke, here we go.

This time, Jimmy, no hard on. And the guy turns around and says, my name's Bill. He goes, yeah, no, I'm Jimmy. Yeah. That's not even. I've heard Jason try to tell that joke 50 times. By the way, it's a great joke. One time he's like, and the guy, Paul says, and then Paul says, Jimmy, and he goes, I've heard Jason try to tell that joke 50 times. One time he's like, and the guy Paul says, and then Paul says, Jimmy, and he goes, Bill,

I'm not Paul, I'm Jim. And I'm like, what are you, and I looked at him, like, what are you doing? Listen, I don't write. I speak. Wait, we're going to get to your life. Okay, here's Sean. Sean, I'm going to grab the reins here. So Paul.

What are you talking about? I've been trying. No, because you've been, you're all gussied up on Pop Tarts. Paul. Yeah. So, I was saying that you've been at the top of the level. So, you start out of the gate. Sure, you do Halloween six.

It's amazing. But then you do like, you just do so many movies. So, how was it that you came, what was the thing, first of all, what was your first professional job? Not necessarily movie, but how did you know, like it seems like you've been doing it at the highest level from moment one.

But what was moment one for you? Like how did you leave Kansas City? What was that thing? Did you move to New York? Oh yeah, I didn't have any of those questions prepared. Go ahead, Paul. Well, fuck, we're 25 minutes in, man. What was Paul's fault is that?

Well. Paul's microphone. It is, totally. it's this weak connection that I have. Thank you for saying that, Will. It's not, it's a. Thank you, Carl. I don't think it's totally true. I've made many missteps and I've been very fortunate in many instances, but when I was a kid,

I just loved comedians. I loved watching SNL and all of that stuff and listening to Steve Martin albums. And I think that when I was kind of in school, we had speech class, we had a radio and TV class. I loved watching the David Letterman show and I used to start making little videos like he used to do.

And I used to perform in speech competitions. And when I was, I want to say about 16 years old, my neighbor in Kansas City said, what do you think you want to study? What do you think you want to pursue? And I said, I don't know, I like the arts and I like drawing and all of that. And he said, what about an actor?

It seems like that's something that you would maybe like to do. And I think it was some kind of lightning bolt moment where I thought, yeah, maybe that is what I'd like to do. Because I certainly always liked funny stuff and movies and everything else. And it feels like from that moment on, I decided, oh, this is exactly what I'm gonna try and pursue.

And I then went to school for it and I studied it. And what was this humorous interpretation thing? Because we had something similar in high school, but it was called forensics. I don't know why it was called forensics. Yeah, forensics, exactly. It was called forensics in Kansas City too. And sometimes I would tell people I study forensics

and they think it's like what Quincy did. Yeah, right. Quincy, yeah, Quincy. For all the young listeners, Quincy. Do we know why it's called forensics, Sean? I don't, I don't. And in high school, people would be standing against a wall and talking to it, like,

and I didn't know what they were doing, but they were rehearsing, like, but really close to a wall and talking to a wall, I thought that was the weirdest thing. But now I get it, they were just rehearsing their monologue or their forensics or whatever it was. You sure you weren't institutionalized, you weren't in an institution at that point? the weirdest thing, but now I get it, they were just rehearsing their monologue or their forensics or whatever it was. You sure you weren't institutionalized,

you weren't in an institution at that point? Is there a chance? It looks like an institution. You may have still been at the hospital, Sean. Yeah. It wasn't even comedic forensics? That I didn't understand. Well, there were different categories.

There was dramatic interpretation, humorous interpretation, prose and poetry, improvised duet acting. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. So Paul, I heard you were a DJ for a while, right? Well, I mean, barely. You know, I did. Oh, okay, I thought it was like a long, I thought it was a mean, barely. You know, I did.

Oh, okay, I thought it was like a long, I thought it was a year's long thing. I really did DJ, but when you say to people that, oh, I used to DJ, that sounds like it was kind of a cool thing, but the way I DJed was not cool in any way. It was like weddings and bar mitzvahs and stuff? Yeah, bar mitzvahs. And by the way, eventually it was that.

The first time I DJed was, I was in high school. It's just an ice cream truck. And I went, nobody, they're like, we don't even have equipment in this thing. I was trying to get a job as a waiter. I was in high school. And I went to different restaurants and I had really long hair. And I didn to different restaurants

and I had really long hair and I didn't want to cut my hair because I was a cheeseball. And I'm like, I gotta keep this. You're crushing it. And so I was getting rejected at every waiting application fill out. Like there's no way, I couldn't get a job. And I went to this bar called Studebakers, which was like a 50s bar in Kansas City.

Had to be 23 to get in. They didn't want any of the younger crowd. Wow. Sure. Yeah. They didn't even want new drinkers. You had to have at least two years under your belt. They want some certified 23 yearyear-olds who like, who's gonna go to a 50s bar anyway?

Yeah. Right. You had to be born in the 50s to get here. To even wanna go to this place. That's funny. And so I went to try and get a job and they said, we're not hiring. And I saw that they had a DJ booth. And I said, do you need a DJ? Because I also say, we're not hiring. And I saw that they had a DJ booth and I said,

do you need a DJ? Because I also DJ, which is not true, I didn't. But they said, actually we do. But here's the thing, at Studebakers, every hour on the hour we do these things called Showtimes where all the waiters hop on the bar and they do like, born to hand jive or some dumb dance thing. Sean, we don't need to, the next sentence

out of your mouth doesn't need to be, you mean like this? Like this. Or are they still in business or what are their hours? Address please. Any of those sentences are a no. So you lied, so you lied, but you knew you had a stack of wax in the car.

So I lied and they said, well, here's the thing, you got to audition because we do these show times. So I had to audition with a lip sync of a 50s song. Which one? I know you still know it. So I chose Volare. Volare. Yeah, and which was, I just thought it'd be funny

because it's in Italian. But I put on a tuxedo and a pompadour to cover my long hair. Like an Elvis wig, right? And so anyway, I got the job, and then they saw that I had really long hair, and they said, you gotta cut your hair. We're a 50s bar, not a 60s bar. And I said, well, I won't do it.

So they made me wear the Elvis wig every time I worked. Oh right. You wore the pompadour every time? Yeah, and it was also a really bad pompadour. So it was a really cheap wig and so it started to lose its pompadour shape and it just turned into like a big, weird black tuft of something.

And when I was working, people didn't realize that I had long hair and had to cover it up. So they just thought I was some young kid with this weird wig. I don't know what they thought. But anyway, that started my DJing career. And then-

You know what, it reminds me, you make me think, you hear about famously Michael Jordan when he had his Hall of Fame speech, and then he's being celebrated for being the greatest basketball player. And then he really harped on his high school coach who cut him from the basketball team and all the people who didn't, right?

That he still hung onto that. And I think we should get stickers made up and go around these Kansas City establishments that rejected you. And stick it on the front window. This place rejected Paul Rudd, right? Really let that stink linger on him. You know what I mean?

Your hiring practices are rudiculous. Yeah, you know what I mean? Are rudiculous, yeah, that's great. Speaking of your original last name was Rudnitsky, what is it? Rudnitsky, down like way back, not while I was born or my grandparents, so they were way back, great-great-grandparents, yeah.

Wow. Polish? Like Russian, Belarus, Eastern European, yeah. Wow. Polish? Like Russian, Belarus, Eastern European, yeah. Have you done the thing where you do the whole look back and like, do you know your people? What they did, where they were, the wars they fought in? And I found that it was mainly kind of like in an area of Belarus.

Yeah, something called, a town called Holmec. Anybody who's listening from Holmec. Holler at your boy. But now wait, so Paul, let me tell you if I got this right. You were born in Jersey, moved to Kansas City, had a bar mitzvah in Canada, your parents were from England. Yeah. So you were all over the place. Bar mitzvah in Canada, your parents were from England. Yeah.

So you went all over the place. Bar mitzvah in Canada, now I'm interested. Yeah. I mean, why so many different places? Well, being, you know, everyone in my family was kind of, was British, both my parents, everyone was kind of around London, my grandparents were in London,

but we moved to the States, and then, or my parents did anyway. Most of the family went to Canada. And so I had grandparents and aunts and uncle in Toronto and in the GTA. No, he really knows it. I know. Is that right, eh?

Oh man. The way he said Toronto too, this is real. Yeah. I'd walk to the byway, get my Empire Strikes Back cards, in French. Yes. The Byway.

Are you still a Maple Leaf fan? Past the Mr. Sub Marine. This is all for you, Will. This is such good stuff, Pizza, Pizza, 967. It's Mr. Sub though, isn't it? Mr. Sub, it's now Mr. Sub. Did you live in Canada? No, but I'd been going there my whole life.

Yeah, so. Wow. And so most of my relatives were in Canada. So when I had to get a bar mitzvah, my parents said, well, just do it in Canada because that's where most of the family is. Where was it in Canada? In Toronto? In Toronto, yeah.

No way. Paul, come home. Come home. Sure. By the way, great, yeah. I will. So your parents are in England, your dad was a tour guide or something,

and was the vice president of TWA, and your mom? Oh no, he wasn't the vice president, that would have been nice. No, he did work for TWA. TWA was the airline, TWA, their hub was in Kansas City, which is why we wound up in Kansas City. Got it, got it, got it. When my dad left London when he was a kid, he was about nine years old,

and then they moved to New Jersey, his family, and they were in Patterson, New Jersey. But he eventually started working with TWA before I was born. to New Jersey, his family, and they were in Patterson, New Jersey. But he eventually started working with TWA before I was born, and he kept getting job transfers. So we moved around a lot when I was a kid. I was born in New Jersey, and then I lived in New Jersey, and then I moved to Kansas for about a year, and then I moved to California for a few years, and then I moved back to Kansas. So we moved around quite a bit.

What about all the moving around and stuff? Was there like, it's giving me anxiety. All the schools and all the kids. Oh, look at the new kid. Did you guys, when you grew, did you grow up in one spot? Yes. Did you always, I mean, Jason, you were always LA, right?

Since I was seven, I've been in Los Angeles, yeah. Where were you before that? I was in Salt Lake City from four to seven. I was in Boston from two to four, and I was in New York from zero to two. Just outside in Rye. Oh, beautiful. But what about you adapting

into all those different environments? Did you have a sibling to sort of protect you, or did you do the protecting? I have a younger sister. She's two and a half years younger than me. And I think, yeah, we always were just kind of the new kids in school. We got very used to it.

We didn't really know any different. But like, did that shape your, at an age where you're kind of learning your personality and kind of what your strong suit is and what isn't, you know, are you funny, are you... Like, did you find that you were, perhaps made you nicer earlier because you had to be accepted

by these new groups all the time? Uh-huh, yeah. Possibly. I, yeah, I sometimes think that, you know, a good way to kind of ingratiate yourself or just not get your ass kicked is to just be kind of pleasant and if you can make somebody laugh, then you can be accepted a little bit easier.

I certainly was drawn and always have been drawn to people who are funny. I mean, my dad was hilarious. And I think that when I'd be probably in some new school or something, I'd go home and I'd listen to those Steve Martin records. You had that album, Get Small, did you ever listen to that? Yeah. What about British humor?

Because my mom's British as well, and she really shaped my taste in dry, kind of no-winking, you know, humor. Did your dad do that for you? Well, I think that, you know, some of the earliest things I can really remember laughing at was they used to show Monty Python's Flying Circus on PBS. Yeah, loved it.

And my parents loved it and we'd watch it and I thought it was hilarious. I never really understood or thought in terms of like British comedy comedy or British sensibility, but I did always respond to that. And then when Faulty Towers was on, it was just more of a scene of them all the time. But it's like, you know, Monty Python's a great example.

Oh, holy shit. There's no way. You guys like Faulty Towers? Sean, Sean, you really like that? Fucking let the world know, man. Yeah, you guys like faulty towers Sean you really like that fucking let the world know man. Yeah There's but like Monty Python there's like there's the broad half of the of the troop and then there's like the dry half of The troop like there's Michael Palin, you know being crazy and goofy and then you cut to John Cleese and he's just blinking at him Like you fool

It's which which were you drawn to was was it the John Cleese side since you went to faulty towers? and he's just blinking at him like you fool. Which were you drawn to? Was it the John Cleese side since you went to Faulty Towers? Well, Cleese is always hilarious. I think that, I think I just, there was an absurdity to it. And there was also something, it might have been the first time, maybe why I was drawn to Steve Martin as well,

but it was like, oh my God, there are grownups that are being completely silly. I remember that twit of the year competition as a kid and crying, I couldn't believe how funny it was to see these grownups acting this way. And I mean, there was still so much with, same with Steve Martin, where it was this kind of, ridiculous, I'm getting was this kind of ridiculous,

I'm getting happy feet kind of thing. I want to know about glazing hams, because that was one of your odd jobs out of school. What do you mean glazing hams? What does that even mean? It means exactly, it means glazing hams. Yeah, like what does that, what do you mean? Did you work at Honey Baked Ham?

No, that was our competitor. Sorry, sorry. No, no, what do you mean glazing them though? Oh, it's still touchy. Yeah. The hot spot. Look, it's just please don't bring that up to anyone at Holiday Ham Company because they had a real issue with Honey Bakes. Wait, but how do you glaze a ham? Like, what do you do? It's a whole process, Sean. Let's keep it clean here. Sounds like a YouTube how-to video. How do you clean that? Is it like in a factory?

No, no, it was in like a mini-mall. And... Oh, I see, like personalized tamp. It was like a standalone store. Oh, got it, okay. I believe it's a chain, isn't it? Okay, got it. I just wanted to know.

I mean, by the way, I don't mean to besmirch Honey Bait. No, for sure. No, no, no, no, no. Nobody took it that way. No, no, no, no. Oh, thanks. I think it was a public company, by the way. There's one thing I don't want to know. I don't mean to besmirch Honey Baked. No, no, no, nobody took it that way. No, no, no. I think it was a public company. There's one thing I don't want to do. It's piss off the people at Honey Baked. No, Paul, you don't have a target on your back now.

Don't worry. The gang over at Honey Glazed. Okay. So, yeah, go ahead. Oh, no, no. What do you love? No, you go. What are you going to say? Guys, don't play do you love? No, you go, you go. What are you gonna say?

Guys, don't play. All right. I was gonna- You go. Oh, Jesus. No, you go. This is a great bit. Please.

It is a great bit. It's the new Laurel and Hardy. I wanna know where you worked. I wanna know where you worked. Oh. I worked at Holiday Ham Company. That was the name of it. No, you were gonna say something else about working.

So I worked at this place, and it was a whole, when I say it was a whole process, I would get there very early in the morning, and I would unload a truck filled with ham. Naked hams. These aren't glazed yet, right? These are unglazed. Oh, you're talking unglazed hams.

Yeah, all hams. By the way, this isn't like pigs hanging in a truck. These were ham hocks, are they hocks? They can be, sure. And they were cryovact, vacuum sealed. Oh wow. And what I would have to do is unload a truck at like five in the morning,

and then I would have to cut open. Release them from their sheaths? Yes, exactly, cut open the plastic. And then I would have to put them, these entire ham hocks. So far, I haven't heard one thing that we're gonna keep in the episode, but go ahead. Yeah, no, no, this is absolutely,

it's boring myself as I even listen to myself describe it. So there you are, you're unloading. You got a truck full of unblased hands. So I gotta put it on a thing, I slice it, I dice out a whole thing, I gotta cut it in half with a saw, I put it on a spit, and then I take a propane torch and a sugar sifter, and I have to wear protective gear on my wrists.

Same approach to acting. Same approach to your acting. That's exactly right. That is how I approach all on my wrists. Same approach to acting. Same approach to your acting. That's exactly right. That is how I approach all of my roles. And how long, were you longer in this job than you were at the Bevex place, the 50s joint? Studebakers. Yeah, Studebakers.

I went from Studebakers to Holiday Ham Company. So, you know. Did you cut your hair before you were handling those hams? Sorry, can I ask, did you have the long hair when you were handling the hams, or did you have hair? Yeah, they didn't care. They didn't care. You had to put that shit in a net, though, didn't you?

By the way, I think I had it in a net. Yeah. And, um. Net the hair. Yeah. It was in a net, I was in the back. So, if I was up front, dealing with customers, there's no way they'd allow it.

You snapped that off. Yeah. There's no way they'd allow. Now, I can only imagine though, you know at least one or two of those long hairs were getting glazed into the ham. I just thought it would be a good Italian place called I Can Only Imagine, it's just cannolis. It's terrible, it's terrible stuff, it's Saturday.

It's Saturday and it's terrible. It's terrible stuff. It's Saturday. It's Saturday and it's free. And it's free. So go ahead, Sean. Sean, get to your laundry list of questions and forget trying to have a conversation with Paul Rudd. Go down and fucking check off your fucking... We've got Paul fucking Rudd here. He's one of the most handsome. By the way, Paul, and I've seen it in stuff before, you always look so fucking good. You're so handsome. You're so handsome.

You're so good. We're around the same age. What are you doing? Just honestly, just an email with a couple tips. Olive oil bag. Eight hours a day. You say the most important thing is eight hours a day. That's what you say.

It isn't what I say. I think I said something about sleep once where it was like, oh yeah, this is, you try and get enough sleep. I sleep a lot. I don't look anything like you. Can I, you know what the secret is? What?

Love. Yeah, Julie. Oh my God. That's our time, that's our time. Who knew? Love and laughter. You saved a name, Julie will have you back now. Who knew? This is, ugh. We'll be right back.

And now back to the show. No, seriously, Paul, anything weird ever happen on stage, And now back to the show. No, seriously, Paul, anything weird ever happen on stage real quick before we're out of time? No, no, no. Well, yeah, you did a lot of theater. I don't know if you listen to the podcast, but I love good theater stories where something's wrong. Oh, of course.

Yeah, I do. And yes. You got everything ready? Or you can sub it out for a Star Wars story if you ever audition for it. No, I have lots of other questions. Of great theater stories? Yeah, yeah, something bad happened in the theater.

Oh, something really bad, yeah. No, no, I've had, I actually, well, I've done a show where somebody died in the audience. On stage, oh, in the audience. There was a death, there was a death in the audience. There was somebody went to the bathroom in like the fourth row. That was an interesting thing.

We get a whiff of that during the scene. No way. Somebody lost control of their bowels. So not only did you kill, but you acted the shit out of that part. Nice. Bravo! Thanks guys.

Well it wasn't me that did it. Oh. Yeah. No, that would be, actually that would be, that would be horrible. Wait, what was the show, and somebody really died? Somebody died last night of Ballyhoo was the show. These were two separate occasions.

Unless I'm conflating them and they shit themselves and then they die. Because that often happens. By the way, it's often, I think it even happens in the other order where it's like you die and then you wind up just shitting yourself. That's the shape that happens. So wait, so the person died. I've had somebody, by the way,

I've also done a show where somebody in the middle of a scene, I heard a bunch of commotion in the audience and then didn't realize, it didn't subside. So I was like, what is happening? Only later came to realize that somebody in the front row of the balcony leaned over and puked on all of the people below.

Oh my God. No way. No way. Swear to God. Yeah. It was a show called Grace. And there's a scene, and I was doing it with Michael Shannon.

No way. And Michael Shannon had this long monologue. We're doing the scene. It's just the two of us. We hear this noise. We're both aware that there's a commotion, but usually it dies down and it's getting louder and louder and Michael is pissed off and starts screaming his lines

at toward the direction of the noise. To make a point. Which of course when Michael Shannon is yelling at you, like it's the most terrifying thing ever. It's the thing that did make everybody kind of quiet down. And then after this scene, I have to rush over to the wings to do a costume change, and I asked the stage manager. I said, what the hell's hap- what happened out there?

And he's the one that said somebody threw up, somebody was drunk and threw up over the balcony and it puked onto about 10 different people. I'm covered in barf! This show's not for you, huh? Fucking bad todays! That's amazing. Should've seen the lion king! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God like, oh my God. They had to close down and then eventually they had to bring somebody, like a stretcher,

they'd get somebody out of there. It's like, oh wow. Wow. It's weird, I mean, you hear of people dying on stage. Yeah. But you don't hear as much about people dying near the stage. Yeah, yeah.

But did you, so you stopped the show, yeah? You stopped and they, right? We did not stop. You didn't keep going. You kept going? I don't think, did you keep going? Dude, are you kidding? and they, right? We did not stop. You didn't keep going. You kept going? I don't think, dude, you kept going. Dude, are you kidding? Are you kidding?

He fucking, he killed. By the way, died. The guy. We slayed him. Yeah, died nearing the end of the show. Yeah. And, I'm not so sure, anyone realized. Oh wow.

Until. Until it was over? Until people were shuffling out of the theater at one guy's stage. Sounds like a nice peaceful passing. Yeah. It was definitely a courteous way to go. For us, for the actors.

That's great. Now, Sean, I know you have plenty. I've told, I think I've told every single good one. I know. On here. Is there one you haven't told yet? I mean, I'd have to think about it. Me and Reina are at the dinner theater.

Yeah, right. I've had, by the way, I had one. Now they're all kind of coming, they're flooding back. I did a scene, I was lying on top of a bed. I was doing a scene, I was lying on top of a bed, and I'm with this woman, Rachel Weisz was in the show, and I was wearing boxer shorts and a t-shirt, and all of a sudden, this had never happened before,

I heard the audience laughing. And I'm like, what is going on? I realized it's because I was lying on the bed, I had my leg up and kind of like, and I realized my balls were hanging out. No. Wow. Wait.

Which is worse than actually, like even your penis. It's like when it's just your balls. Or just one ball. By the way, it might've been just one ball, but it was loose fitting boxers. You know what's crazy about that? You know what's crazy about that? Your balls were showing in that show and the show was loose fitting boxers. You know what's crazy about that? Yeah. You know what's crazy about that?

Your balls were showing in that show and the show was the shape of things. Yeah. Yep, that's exactly right. Nice. That's exactly right. That was your show. Yeah, good.

The shape of things. Yeah, that's nice. They were pendulous. I have one that's not as race-y as that. The shape of things, it should have been, and the poster should have been your balls hanging out of your shorts. I think we've all seen the shape of those things.

With the great Fred Weller, with our mutual friend Fred Weller whom we adore. Great Fred Weller. You guys go back. Do you... What's another one in my mind is that we were doing West Side Story, this isn't as funny, but we were doing West Side Story and the Jets and the Sharks and we then negotiate the rumble. They say knives, guns, pipes, fists, whatever.

And this one guy, Darren. Dance! Yeah, well, you just blew the joke. But, uh, ah, ah, ah,

but no, it's like that. So Darren, Darren, my friend Darren, who's the most gayest man on the face of the planet and wears it with a badge of honor. He's very, very, very funny. But he was a Jet and he's trying to act tough. And during performance 250, they go, guns, knives, very, very funny. But he was a jet and he's trying to act tough. And during performance 250, they go guns, knives, pipes, fists, and he just jumps out and he goes, parses.

Same joke, same joke as dance. No, I guess. It's funny, he had to be there, he had to be there. All right, so listen, when you're scrolling through, because you've been in, I want to go through before you leave, I just want, I mean, oh my God, I had all these things. You're in an hour 10, let this guy get back into his weekend. I know, sorry, Wild Oats and Clueless.

No, but his credits, your credits are fucking sick. A wet, hot American summer, and Friends, you run on Friends, there's Anchorman, by the way, and then 40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up, and working with Jed Apatow, and role models, and Ant-Man that you wrote, I didn't know you wrote Ant-Man. That's crazy. No shit, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Well, one of them, one of the writers. He was originally written by Edgar Wright, who I just worked with. Who's the best. The best. I love him. We love Edgar.

He's a friend of the show. Yeah, he's great. He should come on, Willie. Adore him. Yeah. So wait, what do you expect? I might need to be a two parter. Yeah, I know, there's so many things. I on, Willie. Adore him. Yeah. So wait, what do you expect? I might need to be a two parter. Yeah, I know, there's so many things.

I know, shit. But wait. You get into the fucking credits, it's crazy. I know. But anyway, so friendship though. You don't have to get into my credit, honestly. No, it's incredible. But the people, they want to know, Paul.

I know. You know? They want to know about the moments and the movies. I can't believe they didn't even ask him about it. The Apatow years. I mean, you and Judd collaborated on so many of those movies that were huge, seminal comedies that really kind of changed.

But you think about it, at that time, when you guys did 40-Year-Old Virgin, that really changed the trajectory of comedy films. Like, it kind of went into a, it created a whole new lane. Well Jud did it a few times, a great Jud Apatow. He launched all kinds of folks. Yeah, he's great. The first time I ever met Jud was,

it really is a weird thing. I don't know if you guys feel this way about those Steve Martin records. I know we've talked about them a lot. But it seems as if a lot of people in our generation, those albums had a big effect on them. Yeah. Sure, yeah. And as did Steve Martin in general.

And one time I was at a dinner and I was talking about fake names and how it's so difficult to come up with a perfect, funny, fake name. And I said a great example is Gern Blanston, which was from an early Steve Martin routine. And someone at the dinner said, Gern Blanston, oh, that explains Judd Apatow's email address.

Oh wow. And I think at this time there was only AOL. I'm like, oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, he's like Gern Blanston. I don't think he has this anymore in case anybody wants to email him. But anyway, I went home and emailed Judd. I'd never met him.

No way. And I said, hey man, nice reference on your email address. That's amazing. And he emailed me back. And that's how you guys started to be. And that's amazing. And he emailed me back. And that's how you guys started. And that's how we met. And then he emailed me back and said, oh, I'm glad you've emailed me,

it's nice to connect with you. Now I know who to hit up if I ever need tickets to a new Neil Abut play, because I've just done a bunch of Neil Abut plays. Anyway, we kept emailing each other for about a year. We became kind of pen pals, never met each other. And it wasn't until Anchorman that I actually met him in person.

Oh wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's amazing. And when I went into audition, he was there and it was a little bit like meeting your pen pal that it's like, oh my God, wow, I can't believe, there you are, I can touch you. The person who's been catfishing. I didn't want to touch him, but yeah.

It's been real, yeah. Now your character in Anchorman looks very similar to the character in Friendship. Was that on purpose? No, it wasn't on purpose, although in Friendship, in the script, the character that I was playing was originally called Brian, which was the name of my character in Anchorman.

Wow. Wow. And I thought, maybe we should change that name just because I also have another mustache. The mustache was just something that seemed like, oh, this is the kind of thing that this guy would probably do. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It was a weatherman, he's a weatherman.

And so it's really funny, you're so good in it, and the movie is so great. Well, I gotta say, Tim, it's really Tim. And Tim is so funny. And I don't know if you've ever watched I Think You Should Be, which I think you probably have. He's a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. He's incredible.

I mean, he really has his own take on all of this stuff. And that was just such a blast to kind of get to work with him and see what he was doing. Have you ever seen his show, what is it, Detroit? Is it just called Detroiters? Yeah. What's his name, Tim what?

Detroiters is incredible. It's incredible. Yeah, I love him, Jason. I remember I met him when he was a writer on SNL and everyone even at that time in SNL said, oh, I mean, this guy, Tim Robinson's the funniest. Yeah, he's the most unique. And he directed and wrote and is an actor

in this film, Friendship? He is starring in it. He didn't write it. It might be the only thing I think he's ever done that he didn't write. However, the guy who directed it is a guy named Andrew D. Young. Yeah, he's great.

He also wrote it, and he's friends with Tim, and completely captures Tim's voice. I mean, when I read it, I would've sworn that Tim wrote it. Was there a lot of improv on the movie? I mean, there was some, but you know, it's funny, when we kind of started, we were talking about it, and Tim said, let's take out all of the jokes. He wanted no jokes.

And so it wasn't really perceived as this silly comedy. I mean, I know that Andy, the director, said that he envisioned The Master, the Paul Thomas Anderson movie. We could do a weird comedy version, but very strange of that. And so it wasn't really, there was certainly some improvisation,

but neither one of us was trying to really hit anything too funny. And I apologize, can we see this now? It's coming out, can't see it now, I think it's coming out in, I don't know, April or May. Where the fuck did Sean see it? I got a little screen. He gets a link.

So depending on when this airs, you got connections, Sean. Yeah, so April, May, it's a spring release on this, huh? Yeah, yeah. Spring release. Like all the beautiful things that come out in spring. Well, we're really excited about it, we're really excited about it. We're really excited about you, Paul.

We love you. You're a tremendous talent. I'm so happy. I'm really excited and bullish about your career. I think you're going to do great. Thank you. I'm so happy to be doing this. And like, it's such a, you guys are so awesome.

Show is so funny. I'm so happy to be on this finally. I know. It's a crime. We broke a lean down and we got you here. Yeah, no, no, no. Look, you guys have, you got a lot of people to talk to. I'm honored to be one of them. Wow, we're very, very happy that you came.

Honored that you came. Thank you for spending some Saturday. I sure wish my connection was better. No, no, no, don't think twice about that. I'm not gonna say anything. At Honey Ham's or your wifi connection, none of it. Don't think. I'm not gonna, yeah.

We didn't talk about the Royals, we didn't talk about the Chiefs, we didn't talk about the Blues. Yeah, nobody wants to talk about that. Nobody wants to talk about that. By the way, well done with the Dodgers. You really wanna lose the audience? Shut up, baby, you don't even know what Tim Robinson has.

You get two U's, you get two episodes. I tell you who would turn the volume up. Jason Sudeikis and Claire McCaskill, that's who. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they would. What's Bobby Witt gonna do this year? And the great Dan Dees, also of Kansas City fame. The great Dan Dees friend of the show. The great Dan Dees.

Good friend of ours. Double D. Paul Rudd. Paulie. You're just. Good to see you, my friends. All the love to you and Julie and the kids. You're world-class.

Tip-top. Thank you. Tip-top, Paul. You guys are the best. And I can't wait to see you in person. It can't come here soon enough. Yeah, we'll be doing it. We'll be doing Candy Shop soon.

Yeah, we're gonna do a smartless outing. Let's do a live show from the candy shop. Oh, there we go. Look, any time you want. Claude Hoppers for all of you. That's a good fake name. I know something. We're sweet on you, Paul. Oh, there it is.

Alright. Beautiful button! What a button! A candy button. I'm on my way to, I can only believe it. Pauly, have a great day, we love you, goodbye. Love you guys, thanks so much. Yes, goodbye. Take care.

Bye, pal. Paul Rudd, Paul Rudd, what can you say? I mean, we've said this before about people, but that is an overdue of overdues. Yeah, I know. Should have been on for a long time ago. It's almost embarrassing how overdue we are. I feel bad I didn't get into his stuff, you know,

like all the. You didn't get into anything, Sean. This is one of the least prepared episodes I've ever seen you host. And I can't believe a former member, Jason, a former Host of the year nominee, remember? Yo, for sure. Well, you know, but if he gets into the sugar,

like any fucking little three-year-old, you can't count on him. Guys, I've failed you again. I bet they are regretting that nomination a couple years ago in that gang when they tried to get. Well, aren't you on that board too? Yeah, the iHeartRadio? Yeah. No.

These days I'm only bored when you're hosting, you know what I mean? No. Yeah. No. These days I'm only bored when you're hosting. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh. I do think if we ever soften on the repeat guest policy, you guys are enforcing like fucking. Live show, he'd be a live show.

Oh yeah, be a good live show. We'll be a good live show. We could just go through all its credits and talk about funny stories. Yeah, we'll go funny stories. I love that. Yeah, I do like that man a lot. But Willie, remember when he was talking about walking in Canada and he was walking on the,

what was it? Here comes a bye. He was walking on the... He went to the... Bye-way! Smart. Lens. Smart. Lens. SmartLess. SmartLess. SmartLess. SmartLess. SmartLess.

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