SmartLess - "RE-RELEASE: Adam Sandler"

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

"The Sandman" a.k.a. the unstoppable legend Adam Sandler, drives a golf-ball right onto the SmartLess fairway and we all take a ride on the cart of life through blackout nerves, comfort-zones vs. ambition, the importance of family, and the nuances of the comedy brain. Fore!This episode was originally released on 10/12/2020. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, listener. This is Jason Bateman along with Will Arnett and Sean Hayes for the podcast called Smartless. If that's a place you're looking for, you found it. Congratulations. It's not a real high concept podcast. One person invites a guest. The other two don't know who that guest is. And then we chat. Here we go. Smart Lawless Smart Lars Jason, you missed this last time look what I got That's a baby Yoda?

It's a baby Yoda and there's a message on here Is that from the Mandalorian show? Yeah, this is from my friend Michael Cohen and the Cohen family, not that Michael Cohen. But look, and he recorded this. Welcome to SmartList, the best podcast in the world with my dear friend Sean Hayes.

Jason Bateman and William Arnett. He went William. I like that he went William. Yeah, and Baby Yoda said that. So he's the voice of Baby Yoda? Yeah, could you not tell him? He sounds Latin. I didn't know Baby Yoda.

Actually, he is. Baby Yoda is Latin, huh? I got to watch that show. I'm developing a new show. It's Baby Yoda Nanny, and it's a nanny who works who looks after. No, it's just the doll that you leave with your kids and tell them they're watching them. Yeah. It should be noted.

Jason's haircut. Have you commented on it on a good? finally it looks good right well this is guys listen this is just rolled right out of bed it's such a thick head of hair i know it's so thick but it's a very boyish look he's got going right now isn't it it looks very boyish i know i'm trying to get respect as an adult but that's why sometimes i try to grow up my facial hair but that takes you push it cost me a year actually to grow that because you're just saying to the world hey i'm a man and respect i'm a man deal with it all right so speaking of Men, we have a man today.

This is a funny man, family man, and for the next hour, he's a smartless man. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler. The one and only. I love it. I'm sorry about this. Wow, look at, now, that's a man. Look at the beer.

It's gross. It's gross. Good to see you all. You're moving dime bags or something with a beard like that. Wow. It started off early in the. pandemic and I just kept going because I gained a lot

so I was covering the neck. You gained a lot of weight? Of knowledge, of knowledge. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of way. But wait, I just read a report yesterday that said belly fat is now officially, medically proven to lessen your life if you have a lot of belly fat, no matter how much other fat

you have. Let's see it, Sean. Let's see it Sean and scream. You guys don't like cookies? Once a week, he brings it out. There it is. The bagel. I love it. No, who ate the cookies? What'd you call it the bagel? The bagel, yeah, squeeze the belly button together, make a circle.

And, Adam, sometimes I say to my husband, I'll switch, I'll pucker this up, I'll go, fuck that belly, fuck that. That makes sense. It looks good. All right, so Adam, do you have a plan, aside from pushing, like a bench press or something like that? What's your plan? Is it going to be diet? Is it going to be exercise? Well, this is what I'm doing, and I just kind of started this.

So at the beginning of the pandemic, my buddy was doing the eight hours a day you eat thing, the intermittent fasting. Yeah, I do that too. So I was doing that during a pandemic, but I was starting eating at like five in the afternoon. So I was going deep into the night. And then I'd wake up kind of thick. So then I got some bad information. I thought I said to him anytime and he said, yeah, you picked the hour. So I did it.

He responded while. chewing i think he looks great but uh i so anyways i started again uh i just i'm trying to calm down and i'm doing one in the afternoon to around seven seven 30 i quit and then you're then you're done chewing until the next morning or afternoon yeah i true until the next one o'clock rolls around oh buddy that's so good that's a good one but i eat a lot during the six and a half hour it doesn't work for yeah it doesn't work for my body it doesn't work for me i tried doing that i was on a strictly ice cream diet but yeah you got to try it longer than a couple of days well you know what do you do well you look good well thank you i because like i said i've been doing

the walk and i've been working out and i've got this real kind of what i referred to as my jailhouse gym in my garage now jason's seen it it's a disaster but but there's weights and like homemade stuff you did oh there's weights and then there's like baby carriages and stuff and they're just crap everywhere It really looks like a... I have a question, Adam. How long have you been flying a spacecraft? Does that look like that? Looks like a control center.

This is in my house, fellas. I just got the Philadelphia. Oh, wow. Wait, what are those? Why do you have... He's got some Nike's in a plastic box. Those are LeBron James shoes. The man who owns his house knows LeBronite.

Do you know the man in the house? I don't. I haven't met him yet. He's pandemic. So you rent it. He leaves. Oh, you're renting. I see.

Oh, wow. I just got here two days ago. But he's left those shoes. for people to admire that are renters? I think he was just letting me know that I'm not the only shoe guy. Famous person that he knows. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Wait a second, wait a second.

Adam, I have to ask you this because I've never bought it up. I've only met you a handful of times over the years. We don't know each other that well. I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, and I think that you're awesome and hilarious. Same thing. Sounds like something really insulting is about to happen. No, no, no, no.

One of the funniest things I've, ever witnessed, and I've quoted this a thousand times, maybe more, is years ago you were on Letterman, and he said to you, tell me if you remember this, he said to you, you came on Letterman, and you said, you know, Dave, he said, how are you doing? You said, you know, I'm doing okay, but last year I said something, and you said to me, what are you an idiot? And you really burned me, and I was thinking about it all year, just I wish I'd had a better comeback, so I've been thinking I finally have a good comeback. And he said, okay. And you said, so I, Ask me again.

So Letterman says to you, what are you an idiot? And you said, no, are you? Do you remember that? I kind of do, yeah. Yeah. It was one of my faith. I just thought it was such a, it really got me. I'm not kidding.

I've repeated it 1,500 times. That's amazing. I used to get so nervous on Letterman. You guys, oh, did Letterman? Blackout. Yeah, Blackout nerves. That was the one guy that got you nervous. Yeah, I get blackout.

Yeah, for sure. Every talk show. Letterman, just from growing up. up in high school and thinking he was the best of them all. Yeah, for sure. I used to be on the side of that stage and Biff would like, oh, okay, okay, it's coming. And I'd start going, holy. Like, my whole head would spin and I feel like I was going to faint the whole time walking out. And then you'd see Dave in person.

You're like, oh, my God, there he is. It was so overwhelming. Yeah, yeah. Now, does that exist for you at all anymore? I mean, you put yourself in the wings right now, about to go on for a talk show like tomorrow. Yeah. Do you, like, you can't shake. that it's always going to be a part of you right you have you just learned how to manage it not that great i my whole career from starting i did stand up when i was 17 and stuff and and i had that same weird thing where i wish i never took the gig right before and i started paddicking and spinning i forget all my lines uh i noticed everyone else was like laughing and having a good time

i'm like oh my god everyone else is ready and and then uh then rare occasions i'll go to myself in the daytime i'll go don't do that don't do do that thing where you panic just just overcome that now get over that and then don't you question yourself like why why because i i go through the exact same thing and i'm like why are we why do i why did i choose this yeah yeah we all wonder we're always like why did you choose this believe me it comes up a lot that's a good one yeah stick around and will's got like three of them no but but but it's a good point like adam i think what's cool is you actually kind of sometimes you use your nerves you can see it even in an instance like that you use it to your advantage and it makes you very um accessible because you're not trying to put on you're not a different character as you are who you are you're very authentic in that way which is great like yeah yeah yeah you're fucking nervous because you're on letterman you should be i'm nervous but you aren't you weren't nervous for this bullshit today i was nervous sure i mean i i i liked it though i listened to the episodes they're all great come on It's excellent.

And I was psyched to be here. And I don't know. I'm the same way as you guys. I'm the same way of every move you make. You go, didn't I already prove myself, dude? Why the hell am I trying to prove myself? What the fuck am I here? Here we go again.

Yeah, exactly. The only thing that can happen is it can go bad. You know, but that quality that Will's talking about that you have, that's so personalable and it's so kind and so authentic and so honest and so human. Has it always been like that? Or do you think that it's gotten even? better now that you are incredibly successful and some of the ease has come into your life because you've basically won. Have you gotten even nicer? Or, you know, like some people, I'm sure you've

worked with as I have, people actually get mean and entitled when they get successful. You've seemed to have gone the other way. Yeah. You guys all seem the same also. It's like I had a, I think when I was young, I didn't know what I was doing as a comedian. I didn't know what I doing as an actor. I was a little all over the place. I think I was a little more aggressive back then because I guess I wanted this so bad, you know, I wanted to work or I wanted whatever the hell I wanted. And I probably was mad at myself for not being great. I was a little more aggressive in my early 20s. And then I started going, by the time I was like 28, 30, I started calming down and being able to just relax

a little more. But it took a while. Like Colin, you guys know Colin Quinn, right? Yeah, comedian. Hilarious. I think he's one of the greatest comedians. And he kind of, when I went to NYU, used to emce the shows and he would talk to me after

my shows. I think the reason they used to hire me is I used to bring a crowd. So they, even though I wasn't that good, there was this place called the Paper Moon and I used to bring a crowd so they used to from NYU. And Colin used to say, it's so much funnier hanging out when we're talking in the daytime. You're just, you're doing something weird up to you.

You're not really being yourself. And I used to try to go, okay, I got to be more myself. And then I would just panic right away and start doing something else. I just didn't, I guess I wasn't comfortable with being myself. And then it took a while to get to sit in it and just be okay with not getting a laugh and but plowing through and that kind of stuff. Did you go to NYU for drama? or for acting or...

Yeah, yeah, I went to Strasbourg. Same. Yeah. Okay, so I have a godson who's also going to New York right now to Tish and he not only has to go through drama classes and comedy and all that stuff, but he has to go through musical theater classes. And so when I saw you do Opera Man for the first time,

which is one of the funniest characters I've ever seen. I was like, holy shit, Adam Sandler can really sing. And then you would bring out the guitar and sing like, it's always hilarious. So please tell me you did musical theater in college because in my mind that would be one of the funniest things in the world. I auditioned for everything at NYU. I didn't get anything.

You didn't? Oh, I want to see you do Technicolor Dreamcoat. Or something. I did as a kid, though, I was in Oliver. I was in Oliver. I did, I played, they named a guy. I didn't really, there wasn't really, I had two lines and they said, you're, I think Charlie Bates. They said, you're Charlie Bates.

And I was like, yeah, I'm Charlie Bates. I kind of wanted to be the Dodger, right? And they were like, well, you're not him. You're Charlie Bates. Oh, God. You'd be a great dodger. I thought so, too. You got a picket pocket or two, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about Smitty on the Cosby show? Yeah. Was that your first? That's not your first role. My first thing I ever did was Showtime at the Apollo. I did stand-up. I did five minutes, yeah, and I wasn't that great, but I got...

Tell me, like, the first joke you ever told her. And if you'd like, I could tell you mine. Okay, well, the one that worked for... me back then was it was something I heard my father say to my mother but I and I used it and pretended to happen to me I said I was driving up here in a cab and the driver killed a dog on the way said he didn't hit the dog with the car you got out and stabbed it that was my big that was my guaranteed lap and that happened because my mother my mother was they were in the car and my mother goes the man uh my father said this guy killed the dog driving the other

my mother goes, what happened? He hit it? And he goes, no, he stabbed at you. And so I went, oh, God, that's a pretty good one. What's yours, Sean? Oh, I was terrible. I was nowhere near as talented or funny as you are. I was horrible. These guys know the one that I won't repeat. But the other one was, and it's long, so you can't, it's like, it's like 20 seconds long, okay? So, it's just long for a joke. So I would go, you know, uh, they say on Mars, the atmosphere is like 95% carbon dioxide and 5% oxygen. So I imagine one day when we live there, we'll breathe something like this. And they didn't laugh at that.

They never laughed. I left crying. That's solid. Did you hold your finger up when you did it? I like that, too. That's a good one. Adam, what about this discovered by comedian Dennis Miller thing? Did that happen at the Apollo?

I can't imagine. You know what? It was, so I did stand up when I went to NYU. And then Dennis didn't really discover me. He just told Lauren Michaels about me. He said there's a young kid who's funny. But when I was young, I went to school with Anthony Quinn's son, Lorenzo. He was in my acting class.

And he told Bill Cosby about me. And I got an introduction to the casting agent over there whose name was Barry Moss. Do you guys remember Barry Moss? I used to cast him. a lot of stuff back in the day. Right? So he got me an audition and I played Smitty on four episodes while I was going to NYU. That was my first job.

And that was big probably. I mean, Cosby Show was enormous. It was the biggest show on the planet. It was incredible. And that's where I developed the whole spinning thing right before going on. I was spinning like, oh, my God, I got six lives. I've got to choke so badly. And I don't know.

I became friends with Malcolm, though. He used to calm me down. He'd be like, you got this, man. Yeah, he's such a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So then how long after that did SNL happen? How old were you when that happened?

SNL happened when I was 23. I moved out to, I graduated NYU, and then I moved to L.A. And I was living out in Van Nuys. And then... Beautiful. Gorgeous family. Yeah, yes.

Right on the water. Beautiful. And I live with four guys from... from NYU also. And then somehow I got Saturday Night Live and moved back. Well, did you go and audition in L.A.? Did Lauren come out? Chicago.

Chicago. When I auditioned, it was me and Chris Rock and Dana Gould and a couple other guys. At Second City or? At the Chicago Improv. Oh, it's Chicago Improv. Yeah, and then I remember Lauren was there and Smigel, Robert Smigel, was there.

And Marcy. declined a couple of others. And Chris Rock got it immediately after the show. And me and Rock know each other since we're like 17 also. And so I saw Lorne run over to Rock and I was like, oh man, okay, he's got it. I'm out. And then I was flying home and no one talked to me. And I was flying home. And remember on the planes you used to put a credit card in it was like 25 bucks a minute and stuff? Right. Right. So I was scared to use that because I knew my My father would kill me for wasting money, but I was just flying and flying. And I was like, I got to call my agent, man.

So I put the credit card in and he called and I said, did they say anything? They liked you. They thought some of your writing was good. I said, oh, okay. And what's that being? They were like, well, they want, maybe want you as a writer. And I said, what do you mean? I think I was like insane.

And I was like, I want to be a, but I want to be a star. I love the guy next to you on the plane probably. It's just like, oh, boy. Yeah, this guy wants to be a star. Because you can't talk quietly on a plane. But I want to be a star! Get in line, buddy. Get in line.

We all knew. Yeah, man, I don't know. So eventually I got hired as a writer. A writer for what, like a year and then on camera? Yeah, I did. It was a thing called writer-feature player. And me and Spade and Schneider had that. And you would do the, I'm sure you guys all know this stuff,

but you would write for everyone else and then give yourself a line, like, as a delivery guy and try to get on and score and, you know, and you'd score after 10 shows, they started going, all right, that guy's okay. Let's give him a couple of lines. Right, gotcha. You used to see that a lot with J.B. smooth.

He would always read himself into sketches. Oh, yeah. Always see J.B. on there, and you'd be like, oh, yeah. But how cool, you go for your, your audition and it's there with Lorne and Marcy of course and Smigle and you couldn't have known of course that that

would become this like lifelong partnership. Yeah. I mean how incredible, how wild right? When you look back at that moment. Yeah, sure man. I mean, smigel was in fact I heard later that smigle was kind of in my court that he was going, that one kid was funny.

I think we need that on the show somebody young and they were like, well we already have David and Rob. We don't need any more of that you know and so smigel and jim downy i heard would would stand up for me a little bit and uh lauren liked me he thought i was good he just didn't know what to do with me i was i wasn't easy to digest i was mumbling up there and i was a nervous wreck and i'm hostile like i used to be when somebody heckled me i used to like yell at them and not say anything funny no one is funny or getting pissed off.

Oh, well, I, I turned it into something good, but in the beginning, I used to just be psychotic and get, like, challenge people to something like, curse at him. See, the way he just dropped his face right then. It just got, like, deadly fucking serious. I love, like, there's just, there's no middle with you. Like, he's either super sweet and, like, I can't get out my way. And then just drop the gloves and I'm going to fucking kill you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love those swings you, but I don't even know how that happened. I just because I don't want to fight anybody. I'd get, I'd probably get killed, but I was always ready to go. Have you been in a lot of fights as a kid? When I was a kid, when I was a kid, now I would literally just run so fast. Anytime I feel it coming, I start, my heart's pounding through my chest, and I'm like, oh, shit, I got to get out of here. But back then, as a kid, yeah, I'm sure you guys did the same.

It doesn't hurt as much to get hit when you're little. I like the idea that Lauren's going like, hmm, I guess we could use a nervous mumbler. Now, what about, is it true that they fired you and Farley in 95, or is that overstated? No, no, I mean, what happened was kind of the end of it. People, we were repeating ourselves, I'm sure. There was a new guy running NBC. He didn't like the young guys that much.

He didn't like us. I think he didn't like Norm McDonnell and... He kept saying we got to get rid of them, that nobody likes them. And Lauren was standing up for us, trying to defend us and kept us on a while. And then I got a call from my manager. You know, everyone at Burlstein Gray kind of represented every guy on the show and woman on the show. So I got, hey, maybe it's time to move on to me kind of call. And I was like, I don't know, man.

I think maybe I'll do another year or something. They were like, yeah, but maybe you should move on. like, nah, I want to stay. I think I'll stay. And they kept going, I think it's time to move on. I was like, do I have to move on? They were like, it's good if you move on. I was like, okay, okay, now I got you.

All right, I'm moving on there. So it was kind of like a fake quit, fake, trying to get up, beat them to firing me. That was like me at every high school I went to. I swear to God. Really? You got kicked out? I'm like, no, I didn't get kicked out. They just asked me not to return.

What did you do to get in trouble growing up? I did all the stupid stuff. I was, you know, smoking cigarettes. I grew up in Canada, so there were a lot of woods to escape, too. Yeah, yeah. So I was always out there, like, you know, drinking airplane bottles and smoking butts and all this stuff. I was just, but also I was a wise ass. I was like, I said to my dad actually once, I was such a wise ass.

And, of course, the worst, the infractioner, the bigger the joke that you can make, especially at the teacher's expense, the bigger the laugh you'd get from the audience, or as I'd call my classmates. And so I would fuck around and they'd get really mad. And years later, I remember my dad was out here and I just built this house and it was like everything. And my dad was like, wow, this house is beautiful. And I said, yeah, who knew that fucking around could pay off, huh?

And he finally had to admit like, man, you're kind of right because I was a pain in the ass. You know what I mean? Like my poor dad. Ah, sure, sure, man. You figure out how to channel it. Yeah. All right.

So then were things sort of set up in a way where transitioning out of that show and into other possible sources of employment were kind of set up? Like, were you feeling confident? Yeah. Did you go right into? Was it Happy Gilmore? Was first out of there? I think I did Billy Madison when I was on the show.

By the way, when I got fired, I was confident until I got fired. And then I was like, oh, no. Yeah, that's the way that works. Right? I kept while I was there going, these guys, they'll get it. what I got, man, they don't understand. And then right when they were like, yeah, go do it on your own then, I was like, holy shit. First of all, you humiliated that people don't want you.

And you got to tell people like, yeah, I'm not on the show when they're looking you in the eyes going, you got fired? And you're like, no, you know, you're making up shit. But it's like doing what we do, you're effectively getting fired at the end of every single job. You have to go find another job. And if you're having a really good year as an actor, you're, you're, you're, get fired like six or seven times you know like you've got six or seven and you have like there's

no guarantee there's no diploma that you can kind of it's true man it's job interview after job interview and it's it's i remember buying the attitude that i realized i should have been renting when you know things kind of dried up and i was really confident until they just didn't want me anymore and it's like well now you got to build up a whole ego and and and and and and coping mechanism to get yourself confident that's not reliant on employment that's really hard to do it all God, yeah, sit in the bench and being shook up. I'll tell you, no kidding, I loved you when I was a kid. I thought you were incredible.

I swear to God, I thought you were cool as shit. You guys, too? Yeah, I thought you were, huge fan. I wanted to look like you. I wanted to fucking be, like, cool and calm and funny like that. And I always thought you were awesome. I'm not lying to you. I loved your sister, too.

Thank you. Do you remember Jason's show? He had that show, It's Your Move. Did you ever see that? It was like a spinoff of Silver Spoon. I think so, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. But I think I knew more on the Hogan family was after that, or Valerie, yeah, yeah. When Jason got his star on the walk of fame out here in Hollywood,

because he's a big Hollywood guy. So when he was in Hollywood, we're worried because he's a liberal elite. And so anyway, so I get up and they asked me, he asked me to say a couple words, and I said, you know, when I was growing up, I remember watching family ties and seeing Justin Bateman and thinking, man, I wonder if she's got a brother. That's so good, my man. But I loved him.

We felt the same way. This comes up all the time. We used to always look at Jason and be like, oh, man, that guy's, because he was a smart ass, he was confident. He had great hair. Oh, I was so confident. I thought I was such hot shit. And then the phone stopped ringing.

I did not know what to do. My 20s was a whole regroup. I just had to build it back up from zero. Jason and I had lunch like decades ago at the Chateau Marmont, which houses the liberal elite. That's right. And Jason said to me, I don't know if you remember this, Jason. You said to me, we were just talking about careers and whatever, the ups and downs. And you said, none of it is up to you.

None of this is up to you. Yeah, yeah. To try and control things that are out of your control. It's not a meritocracy. You know, like in sports, like if you're a 300 hitter, you're guaranteed employment. That's true. In acting or any form of part in the term art, it's so subjective. You can't, you can't rely on, well, I'm the best at singing or the best at painting or it doesn't matter.

The best in whose eye, you know? And then so, Adam, so kind of taking that, like one of the things that I think is really awesome about what you've done, you've had incredible success. But is, you know, I've tried to, especially in the last couple of years, I don't want my work to define who I am as a person or how happy I am. about family. I know you're a really big family guy. Sure. You've got a lot of really close friends. Yeah. And even in your work, you do stuff that you want to do and you do stuff because you know it's going to take time and then you know that it's, you know, it cuts into school and all that kind of stuff. And it feels like you gear everything towards making it fit your

life and making sure that you're happy and your happiness. You're truly not a Hollywood guy. I can say that. And you don't define yourself by it, right? I kind of, you know, I lucked into having the career of getting the right stuff and get to do it, and not everybody has that luxury. I'm sure more people would do what I'm doing if they could just, you know, just say to the head of a company, hey, let me do it in October because it's, you know, I got a lot of luck on my side. But you earned that position.

You really have. I got that after a while, after a while. Yeah, let me really quick ask you something about that. And then back to what Will was saying, because when you were, younger and you broke into film for the first time and how much of that success was like, you know, agent business driven and you were just along for the ride and how much of it was self-generated and kind of ambitiously coming directly from you. I was ambitious in a weird way. I just, I always kind of got in the beginning, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe next time they

would hire somebody else when I would do auditions and stuff. I remember auditioning for a few movies as a kid when i was like 21 22 and they'd always pick somebody else and i was like god damn these guys don't get it man and uh i was such an asshole you know and uh whoever they picked i would be like oh yeah okay man like i was hot mistake yeah what a mistake and then i i wrote billy madison with tim hurley and when we were on saturday night live and i gave it to to lord and Lauren was already doing Tommy Boy with Chris. And so... A funny movie?

Oh, yeah, that's awesome. And he was... It was the first time me and Chris had an either-or kind of thing. And Lauren said, we're doing Tommy Boy. We can't do Billy Madison. Actually, Tommy Boy used to be called Billy the Third. It was two Billy movies. Yeah, they were like two...

The two Billy movies. And we would look at each other like, who's the getting to pick? And they picked, you know, Tommy. boy. And I was going, oh, man, oh, man, I guess that's done. We'll write another one, Hurley He. And then, like, I was in this movie called Airheads. And the producer of that one called me, like, five months later. He's like, I read this script, you and Hurley Hero called Billy Madison. Do you want to do that? And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? What do you mean? He was like, I could get that Dunfear for like six million dollar budget. I was like, I get six million dollars. He goes, no, not, not you.

I don't know what any of that shit meant. But he got it fucking, he did Problem Child at Universal, which was a low budget movie and made a lot of money. So they said, get some more of those kind of things. So somehow Bob Simon's got this movie. I asked Lauren, I said,

that movie you said, you didn't want to do. Is it okay if I do it with this other guy? He's like, do anything you want. So I did Billy Madison. And then that kind of got me going, I mean, I remember when I first said that, everything that they talked to me about doing

after that was doing my goofy voice and being very, you know, the same Billy Madison again. And then I had that happy Gilmore thing that me and Hurley, he wrote. And they were trying to talk me out of that. They were saying, there was a movie called Ed with the monkey, you know.

No, no, no, that's Ed TV. It's one with Matt, Matt LeBlanc. And they want to be With the monkey And they were like, do that That's more like Billy Madison I said, I think Let me do

I'll do that one after I do the golf one Is that okay? They were like, no And so I had to make a stand And say, no, no, no We gotta do this Happy Gilmore movie And by the way, two of the funniest movies ever No kidding

A hugely successful Fuck Thanks I mean, they're good I'm psyched that That's in my They go down in history as with all the other great comedy movies.

I mean, it's kind of cool. But then the success was so, one after the other, after the other, was there a strategic consideration when Punch Drunk Love came about? Or was that more of a reaction, did Paul Thomas Anderson come to you and only in hindsight,

do you see it as a great strategic sort of balancing thing, offsetting the goofiness? Or did you think ahead and kind of seek out something that might counterbalance all that? That was all luck. I mean, in my head, Will, you did Strasbourg, right? So I thought I was good at acting.

I was like, wow, I'm going to surprise somebody someday and really act. But it wasn't on my mind. I kind of liked Eddie Murphy, and I wanted that kind of career, and I just wanted to be a comedian. And then I was doing, I think, Little Nicky or something like that. Or, yeah, something like that. and Paul was friends with Tom Cruise. They did Magnolia together.

And I met Tom Cruise when Nicole Kim and hosted S&L. You know how you get to meet everybody because of SNL? So I met Cruz and I, my God, Cruz had a Yankee hat on, like, dipped down low. And he looked up and he goes, hey, man, I was like, in love with him. Like, oh, my God, I'm in love with Tom Cruise. That makes true of us. Of course.

Anyways, Tom called me up. I'm on my set. He goes, hey, my friend, I'm doing a movie with my friend Paul. He's a great director, and he's interested in doing a movie with you. Can I put him on the phone? Wow. And I said, yeah, yeah, sure, man. And he gets on, and Paul was very nice, and he was going,

hey, I loved Billy Madison. And I go, okay, man, thanks. I didn't know who he was. And he's like, and I just love your movies and your albums. And I was like, okay, good. Cool, man. Okay, creep. I didn't know what he was talking about.

He's like, he goes, is it okay if I write you a movie? I said, you can do whatever you want, man. That's great. Just stay away from my house. But he was sweet. I can tell you it was funny, but. That's like Picasso saying, is it okay if I paint you a painting? I know, right?

I know. It was the luckiest thing. And then, and honest to God, fellas, I was, it was like 11 o'clock in the morning. and I had nothing to do and Magnolia just came out and I said I think that's that kid's movie Paul I'm going to go see that and I went alone

and I was in the front row it was sold out with all real film kind of people and I was looking up at it and I was going I was fucking terrified I was like oh this guy's fucking better than me man I don't want to fucking be in this I'm going to ruin his movie

whatever to fly you know I was like holy shit and I called him up and on the way home And I was like, holy shit, I just saw your movie. He's like, yeah, yeah. I was like, fuck, and the frogs and the, holy shit. I was so excited about everybody.

And I was like, oh, fuck, man. And so you're right in that movie, man? He goes, yeah, yeah, I'm almost done. I'm going to get it over to you. I was like, well, when the fuck is that coming? You know, I started to get very excited. Wow. And then he did it so cool, man.

I lived in this, this, I rented a house on the top of Bel Air Road with my buddies. And he came up. And he knocked on the door and he's like, I got the script. And I said, here's my present to you. And I go, okay. He goes, go ahead and read it and tell me what you think. And I go, you're going to stay here? He goes, no, I'm going to go for a drive or something like that.

And I just sat in the other room and I read it. And I was like, oh, my God, man, I don't know if I can fucking do this. No way. And so he comes back after his drive and you got a bunch of notes, right? You're like, great. A couple things, Paul. It's all marked up. It's on move this.

That's true. No, I was fucking scared. Like, like, you know, when you get something and you just go, oh, she's, man. I always said I can do this ship and this is too much, man. And he talked me through and got me comfortable. He's incredible, though. I mean, his taste is just unreal. I love that he's a huge comedy nerd, too, apparently.

Oh, man, yeah. And that he can see the amount of acting. it takes for you to pull off believably what you do is right in line with his with his taste and his abilities and i just i'm such a big fan of his and then the safty brothers um you know i mean uncut gems is just absolutely stunning i don't mean they love you too but they had fun at talking betty and you talking at annesons was a great night i just i'm crazy about those guys as well and i love the two of my favorite filmmakers well that would be three um i put you as a lead in their films. And I hope that you take

as much pride in that as you deserve. That was an incredible performance, man. It really was. It was, it was, it was so nuanced and deep in this guy. Like, it was... You guys, you know, honestly, you could do it, you guys could do it too. I know you're all great, all three, you guys are great actors

and funny as shit. And... Who's better? Yeah. Is there one that's better? You're number one. Sure. Yeah, okay. Definitely. We're fighting for the silver over here. Yeah, you don't need. You're both solid but for Sean's number one so the I would imagine that you um you you you love the the creative process of doing a drama um and also the process of doing a comedy I'm not

going to ask you which is your favorite but what would be your ideal ratio between comedy and drama and like kind of like fun films with your friends versus kind of working for a director I'm starting to get a lot of uh serious kind of offers and and and I love I love reading that stuff, and I, but it is more of a decision in my brain. I'm like, shit, once I say yes to that, then it's fucking, it's a whole other thing in your trailer and you're fucking rocked and you got to think into shit that makes you uncomfortable and it's slightly humiliating out there in front of people doing some of the shit they want you to do. And so it's a decision, but I like it.

I want to do that stuff, but I also love doing the comedy shit. and the fact that, you know, I just did probably the goofiest movie I've done in a long time that, you know, shit I would have done when I was 23. And, but I still, I'm still happy doing it. Hubey, Hubey Halloween. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? What is, I don't know anything about it. It's on Netflix, right?

It's coming out on Netflix, uh, and it's a Halloween movie and it's all comedians and all, it's like a... And our kids will love it, yeah? And my end of kids, I do that because I get excited for kids to laugh. and stuff like that and shit I've been doing my whole career and I still love that stuff. But being able to do both, I mean, good God,

you can make, you know, an eight-year-old laugh and you can make, you know, a 70-year-old cry. I mean, it's like, come on. Like, not a lot of people can do that at all. Thank you. I'm lucky, yeah, yeah.

Adam, you said, I read somewhere a long time ago, you said, I'll do this for as long as they let me. Yeah. And they, I love that. And they keep letting you because you're incredible and talented and likable and winning? And is there a time when you actually tell them that you're done or are you still having the time of your life?

Like, what else? Because you work more than anybody. Like, you never stop working. I don't know when I'm going to stop. I look at like, you know, I know Dustin and I know Nicholson and Pacino and those guys and those guys, they're addicted to work too. I mean, I had lunch with Petchino.

and he still gets excited about shit. And he's just, I read this amazing script and he still wants to kick ass. And I kind of think I could stop. And then when I'm stuck like this pandemic, man, would not work. And holy shit was I lose in my mind. And fucking every day becomes the same jumpy shit. And my fucking family certainly wanted me to work. They were like, Jesus Christ, he's fucking insane.

Get him out of here. I heard you were out on the golf course a little. Yeah, we heard from a friend that... Oh, I hit into you, buddy. Yeah. Who's your buddy that I almost hit, by the way? Tom Warner. Tell Tommy, I'm sorry.

Okay. Are you a big golfer? Because I'm finding that that is keeping me off the streets a little bit during this pandemic. You've been playing a lot? Yeah. Well, you know, I met you a long time ago, like 20 years ago, and you were friends with Brill. Yeah. I think back then, and I was at a party, and I saw some thing that,

They interviewed you on, like, a show, and you had a, you golfed on it. And I saw you at the thing. I said, dude, I just saw you did. You got a great swing. And you kind of like, okay, okay, and that was it. But I remember, go, oh, that fucking guy knows how to golf. He's got a great swing. He does have a great swing.

I didn't have a career at that point. He's got a great swing. We've both taken it up in the last couple of weeks. We've been a little irritating to our significant others. Yeah, it's a long day, golf day, right? Are you addicted to it, or is it just something? you just kind of slap around. No, I tell you, your buddy, what happened was I'm a member of Riviera

and I fucking live right down the street. So I haven't golfed. Since I've had kids, I don't golf that much, just like you're saying, Will. Because of the whole five hours away and the stare you get when you get home of like, are you fucking kidding me? But while they're in school, we've got to pass while they're in school, right? That's right. That's supposed to be it.

But I still get nervous leaving the house and coming back to it. a fucking uh whole other mood so uh i i i know what you guys are talking about because when i make banana bread i'm like do i do i pull it out at the right like when is the do i leave it in five another five minutes do i not it's crazy just like it well listen i know you must feel guilty about paying all those dues over there at riviera and not using the course so will and i want to help you out yeah i'm going to help you just kind of getting a little bit more active out there so you just let us know you guys are playing real well like in the 80s or 70s no well he is I'm playing like shit, but Jason's game is getting together.

But what we've been doing is we've been calling guys that we know who we know belong places because we don't. And we go, that's where you come in. Hey, you're playing these days? And then they go, yeah. And we go, well, Jason, we're available on Wednesday. Willing to keep you company. Wow, man.

Adam, I'm always special. I always ask funny parents this. Like, Will and Jason are two of the funniest people I know. They always make me laugh so hard. And we've always talked about do their kids find them, Do your kids find, and you're obviously fucking hilarious. Your kids find you funny or not at all? Or, like, do they get your sense of comedy?

Do they watch your funny movies, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty good at home. I'm happy when I make them laugh because when I'm asking him to practice something or that kind of guy, they like, they don't like him, but they like the funny me. They get, I do pretty good. Oh, good. I make them comfortable.

And then I definitely try to be funny a lot and try to get funny. laughs. I don't always, always score. Like, I try to take them out of the moves. I think growing up, that was my move, too, when I felt my father about to fucking go nuts on me. Of course, I said a few jokes to lighten them up. I think I do that with the kids, too, when I see him upset about something. I go to the jokes. Do you guys do that? 100%. Adam, who's the disciplinarian then? If you make them laugh, everyone's, I mean, is Jackie the one that's laying down the law, or do you do both? I heard you guys talking about this. You're lighter than Amanda, right?

I'm lighter, but I would imagine you might be similar to me where you're super, you're the class clown, you're the Joker, but then you can swing all the way to the other side and really get serious if you need to and there's really nothing in between. Oh, yeah, I think I get really fucking nuts where they just scared eyes at me when I'm like, no, you have to know this because right when I start raising my voice. That Jackie would not do, like Amanda would not do that. She covers the whole middle ground and I'm like the bookends. Jackie cuts me off in the middle of that, too, and starts going.

She takes a weapon out of your hand, right? You got to, yeah, she's like, they can't understand. The weapon, I guess, is my fucking loud, you know, semi-angry tone all of a sudden. She's just like, stop, stop. You can't, they don't understand when you're doing that. They have to know this, all right? Listen to how loud I am. Yeah, exactly.

And then it goes away, and then I'm a kiss-ass most of the time. I like keeping them fucking happy. I like when they're happy and laughing. But I put some pressure on them. Not about, I don't know if you guys have this, but everything I did, I would just go outside and practice and fucking basketball, baseball, even bike riding.

I was just like be in my own fucking world, just driving in circles, trying to hop off a curb, trying to pop a wheelie, whatever the fuck that was. And I don't see my kids want to do that as much as me. So I'm like, there's nothing you want to get good at. I do that, that shit.

And they're just like not, just not what you want us to get good at. We want to get good at what we like, you know? All right. Well, in closure, I have one last question for you. What makes you happiest? In all of these areas of your life, it seems like there's so much harmony

and everything's kind of cruising, and there's so many things to bring you happiness. I'll bet you'll say family or some garbage like that. And by the way, this is going to be informative. He's looking for something to make him happy. So he's looking for clues, whatever kind of clue. Yeah, I just can't find him. Yeah.

If you had to, usually where do you find yourself the most sort of just serene and this is a great day? Well, fuck, I would have to say when shit's going good at home, everything is good. That's true. You know what I mean? When the kids and your wife or your partner are happy and there's nothing else to be concerned about, you're just fucking free to be who you were as a kid, you know? Like, that's when I feel like, shit, I'm making it. a movie. This is great. When I'm fucking making a movie

and I get a call from home and something's off, I'm like, and I'm fucking lost. I'm lost until that shit gets resolved, right? And you've got to act good and the other actors are joking around and you're kind of like, what? You're a beat behind. And you're looking at your phone because you're like, fuck is this thing going to

resolve itself? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're fucking heartache. Harding for no reason. And then all of a sudden I doubled mine because I now have like an ex-wife, so I want to make sure that Amy's happy and also my partner and every i've got like way too many people i'm worried about her happy now sure sure sure yeah it sounds like a complaint listen i'm a very lucky guy but still yes absolutely no we all are but the depth definitely ups and downs in my own brain i can't i never have a fucking 24 hour

happy day i don't see that ever ever coming my way but i have when i'm working i'm pretty like all right let's all right how about you guys when you're working are you like this is great You know, you kind of like... When the phone is off, because you're working and you're on set and you're in that thing, that is a great space. When you're really in it, I remember, for me, one of my happiest times was when Jason and I were first doing Arrested Development, and so people, you didn't text as much back then.

It was because everybody still had to flip phones. I remember I got a new flip phone. I was so psyched. A two-way pager. A two-way pager thing. We had those... And I just remember, like, you'd go to... you'd go to work, you leave your trailer or whatever your dressing,

you'd go on to set and you're on there for like four hours and you're not contacting the outside world and you're in this thing working and you're in it, that is a happy memory for me. But if you know that there's something a little sideways back home, you still can't 100% enjoy it. So staying a little bit ahead at home and making sure that that's all running smoothly

and it will be smooth again tomorrow too because I'm not just, you know, you know i'm doing something proactive to keep it going forward and staying ahead of it i've been trying to do lately yeah my my wife uh when i know i go on tuesday i got a pretty that big scene blah blah uh she'll go okay and then she'll kind of block shit she should not bring shit up to me on a big day oh that's nice that's pretty nice and then yeah that's nice anyways and then yeah i got you run lines with her yeah oh my god all the top And she's good at finding shit that I wasn't going to do in the scene and going like,

well, don't you know what that line means? Oh, that's awesome. She does that for me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do it all the time here. You do that with Scotty? Constantly. That's nice.

Are you good at memorizing your lines, Adam? Not too good. How about you? No. Jason's the best in the biz, the best of all time. That's a fucking TV shit. That's a TV shit. Yeah.

He's fucking unbelievable. I'm surprised at Saturday Night Live. Didn't kind of grind that in on you. Or were you just looking at the cards the whole time? Both. They tell you two, right? I would do the panic thing like before Letterman. I remember I did this shit on Weekend Update where I did costumes, crazy, I'm crazy pickle arm and all this shit.

And I had to do this thing where I was, I'm crazy under the desk guy. So I remember in my head, I went, when you're crazy under the desk guy, there's no cue cards because you're going under the desk and you got to remember your shit. And I remember I fucking live. I went under my desk and it was like, my head's going, holy shit, there's no fucking Q cards. You're in trouble, man. And I think I've remembered most of them and got it done. But no, I like knowing the Q cards were around.

You were tight with Wally, right? Was Wally doing Q cards back then? I know, Wally. He just texted me out of the blue the other day. Oh, yeah. He's doing well. He's got fucking some other business he's doing right now. Yeah, I don't know.

He's, yeah. I haven't heard from him years. but Wally was the guy, the Q-Cardia. He's got an amusement park now. I think he just started an amusement park. What is worth, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, John Candy's working there.

It's nice. Adam, you're incredibly generous to give us all this time. Thank you for saying yes to doing the show in the first place. Thank you for asking me, guys. We love you. Congratulations on your show. It's a great thing you're doing it, getting to hang out all the time together and you've been great guys. We're pretty lucky.

We're very appreciative. So looking forward to seeing on the golf course tomorrow. We'll be there probably about 830. We're going to warm up first. I know you don't like to warm up, but we will worm up. Right, right on, man. All right, right on, man. All right, we love you.

Say hi to your family. Love you, pal. You too. Thanks, buddy. Good to see you guys. Okay, bye, pal. All right, later, guys. Oh, he's fantastic.

What a good, decent guy. It's so engaging. Like, I could listen to him talk for hours. And by the way, how he's talking about all that anxiety that he has. I'm like, yeah, I totally get that. I relate. Yeah, he stayed so human when he's had many opportunities probably not to. He's able to stay very loyal to him.

his friends. He's also putting up a great product. He's got his family with him. He's just been so smart the way he's kind of put all these pieces that are available to him into a certain direction that I would imagine perpetuate so much happiness for him and so many people that are close to him and obviously his audience as well. He's a good human being. Yeah. Yeah. He's a well-rounded guy. He's got a sort of happy life. And for me anyway, I like looking at the people who are having a happy life Because it's not defined by what they do, but it's defined by so many other things, starting with family. And what they do with the things that are available to them in their life, whether it be, you know, really expensive, nice things or not. What you do with what you've got, I think, is a good test.

Yeah. Thank you, too, Adam, for joining us. That was, that was a great one. I like that. He better take us golfing. He better take us golfing. And thank you, listener, for joining us for another hour of Smartless. Oh.

Bye.